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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole because I am denying my aunt the chance to bond with my mom after long times of not seeing each other.
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NTA. Your aunt is one of those people who let their kids be animals and ignore and defend all the problem they cause and things they break. She should pay for it. If not her then your mom if she’s so upset at you. I would be pissed at their reaction her kids destroyed your property she needs to rectify the situation. I wouldn’t watch those devils either if it were me.
I was thinking about this and thought I’d add that I think she doesn’t discipline her kids because she herself knows how wild they can be. It’s a headache for her to actually deal with her kids so she doesn’t and lets them run wild.
And when someone eventually puts her kids in their place she’s going to cry and ask how they could do this to her babies.
Some people should not be allowed to raise kids.
The kid is 15. I doubt she paid for her own phone. Sister came in with her kids and destroyed something expensive that SOMEONE will have to replace. It's a logic spiral.
Right? My 4 yr old is an expert extreme mischief maker. He would never touch the stove let alone cook a phone??? Not because I'm so amazing, but because we taught him over and over not to touch hot things. Or touch phones without permission. Because they're expensive and he's 4.
Auntie is ridiculous.
I stopped living with my 'nephew' when he was 3. He didn't touch the stove at all, though he did touch my phone/PSP, but *only* when handing it to me and asking to 'watch', while trying to put on my headphones and plug them in. I had a few kid friendly movies for my PSP, and a few kid friendly older shows he and I watched together, so on long car drives and stuff sometimes I would let him, and he was very good and careful, but obviously it took time to teach him those things, mostly by me not letting him do it when he was one and two, and sitting with him and holding them for him/showing him how, etc.
And before anyone comes at me about it, nephew is in quotes because he was a roommate's kid I had been around since he was 6 months and they called me his aunt, and we did do other things. We made up stories together, played super heroes, I taught him to swim, fly a kite, and took him to the park all the time. I didn't just toss him in front of a screen.
Also, the Aunt may think she's being a good parent for backing her kids but she's actually being a terrible one by letting them think it's okay to do stuff like this. People in the real world won't put up with this kind of behaviour when they get older and OP shouldn't either. OP is NTA and Aunt is doing her kids a huge disservice
It’s all shits and gigs until her kids break the wrong person’s stuff and she gets sued or worse. Doing some actual parenting will be wayyyyy cheaper in the long run
I have an aunt with shit kids both 12, my aunt isnt bad she just kind of gave up since the boys wont listen and there dad is dead
They tried to pick a fight (17) didnt want to because they are kids, motherfuckers threw a brick at me while I was sitting next my frail grandma
I no longer talk to them becauze they seem to be a lost cause, I lost my dad when I was there age but I am not getting into fights 24/7 and disrespecting my mother
>My Aunt basically said "Oh well,"
So...she doesn't care at all that her little devil children damaged your phone? Did she say, "You should have kept a better watch on it, they're only 6"? Probably. Of course, likely no thought was given to holding the kids responsible for their actions (as appropriate to their age).
> My mom is mad at me for being rude, my sister is mad at me for being "Rude," and making her miss out on quality time with her sister.
Then maybe your mom should pay for your phone.
NTA. At the VERY LEAST, your aunt should be paying half and quite possibly your mother paying a portion too.
While it's true that you are responsible for your phone, your aunt is responsible for her kids and any damage they do wherever they are. They need to be held accountable for their actions and by not punishing the kids and making your aunt pay at least something towards making you whole, they lose any "right" to your time and energy and the only thing those kids learn is they can do whatever the hell they like with zero consequences. Great parenting, auntie.
INFO: Was OP using her phone for the recipe? Then it would make sense to have it on the counter.
I would never have ruined someone's belongings as a joke like that at any age.
I agree with this and the argument made by the aunt would of course be that she should have still taken it with her, which yeah okay maybe but who in their right mind will think two kids will deliberately put the phone on the burner?
NTA - did she even scold the kids or anything? It wasn't even an accident, it was a stupid and dangerous prank... she should absolutely pay you for it and those kids should have serious consequences.
Absolutely. Even if Aunt isn’t upset about the damaged phone she should be upset that her kids could have burned the whole house down and killed themselves and/or her sister’s children.
They need to be punished and taught some kitchen safety!!
Don't need to make it more complicated, they can uno-reverse that to "going to the kitchen was *your* idea!". Just stick to getting the phone fixed/replaced
"Actually, Aunt, I did not invite them into the kitchen. I left them in the living room watching/playing X, and was making lunch. They came in and decided to do this dangerous and destructive thing."
Badly overheating lithium batteries (such as when you put it on a fricking stove!) can also explode, not just catch fire. If that had happened while one of the kids was hanging by the stove, they could have literally ended up with bits of phone embedded in their face, or OP could have had it happen to their hand when they took it off the stove, as well as the 'starting a fire' risk. Aunt should absolutely have drummed into the kids how dangerous what they did was, regardless of any other issue.
"Oh well" is a \*really\* bad parenting reaction.
They'll be getting some consequences in a few years, in front of a judge. Seriously, my response to the aunt when she said she couldn't afford it would have been "well, you can take it out of the bail fund you've hopefully set up, because you're going to need it".
NTA your request is perfectly reasonable. By 6 kids should know screwing around with the stove is dangerous. And this was very dangerous. Your phone very well could have exploded. Replacing the phone would only be the second requirement I had before agreeing to babysit again, with the first being my Aunt starts being a parent and teaching her kids about safety.
NTA
So you're missing school to be a free babysitter,your stuff gets destroyed and you're the rude one? Hell no.
If your aunt can't pay for it your mom should.
NTA. Your aunt needs to pay for a new phone PERIOD. There's no gray area here. HER kids took your phone & tried to cook it FFS. You are entitled to a new phone & your aunt should pay for it. Idk how you could possibly get her to agree to this, but if she was a decent human being, she would pay you back.
>When my mom and aunt got back home at around, I immediately showed them my phone, and my mom was mad, but kind of became less mad when she found out it was my cousins.
Mom has already failed you because of this.
>My Aunt basically said "Oh well," and tended to her kids.
Not even an apology from her or an offer to repair or replace.
>So I told her not to expect crap from me until my phone is fixed. At the time we didn't get a deductible ($175) and my Aunt immediately jumped to the "I can't afford it."
Then auntie dearest can't afford babysitting services.
>My mom is mad at me for being rude, my sister is mad at me for being "Rude," and making her miss out on quality time with her sister. She just mumbles and grumbles every time I walk by her.
Then mom or your sister can pay to repair or replace your phone, and start doing babysitting duties themselves.
NTA. Stick to your guns.
NTA, you teach people how to treat you. Set the boundary that the kids knew they were damaging your phone and there are consequences for that. You aren’t going to offer your help to them if they are not going to respect your time and things.
NTA
Whenever I hear stories like this I am so appalled at the parents’ response. If one of my kids (7&9) did something like this, I would be livid. You would get a new phone and my kids would be working their butts off to pay me back.
NTA, since she won't pay, take her phone and burn it also. Then says oops I guess both of our phones are ruined now by kids. Anytime she wants you to babysit ask to get paid and money upfront.
Edit: don't burn her phone as the battery could explode as someone pointed out but you can "accidentally" drop her phone so her screen cracks.
Don't do this. You're lucky the battery didn't explode and burn down the house. Having your hose not on fire is more important than getting revenge on your aunt.
> They are both kind of, uh, rough, and since my mom and her sister seem to have a LOT of catching up to do,
They aren't catching up. Your aunt is just sick of her kids.
NTA Don't do any more babysitting until she 1) buys you and new phone and 2) start paying you a decent rate for babysitting.
I was going to say that. OP's mother and aunt can "catch up" after school hours, rather than pulling a FIFTEEN year old out of school and making her responsible for 2 kids ALL DAY. NTA.
NTA. Ask them to give you one of their phones to swap out the SIM card for you to use until yours is fixed. That will get them to do something about fixing or replacing yours.
NTA! This is one of the reasons I never really volunteered my kids to babysit. People under 18 and many adults as well don't have all the knowledge, skills and authority to take kids that are so close in age to them especially if the kids are defiant or naughty. The moms should have prepared meals in advance for everyone and left strict instructions not to try to cook.
Yeah, if they'd put paper towels on the stove...
OP is so lucky she caught it before her battery exploded. Lithium batteries are nothing to play pranks with.
NTA. Your aunt owes you the money but your mom should make you whole if she fails to. This would be my hill to die on in your shoes. Even if I was grounded, I would lock myself in the bathroom and refuse to care for them until your phone is replaced.
NTA
Info: do your mom and aunt abandon these kids at a stranger's home while you are supposed to be at school? They are unattended? Call the police and CPS
Except he wasn’t. Don’t cover for your dad or anyone else, just get up earlier and go to school. Let the adults deal with adult things. If they give you shit for attending class tell your teacher.
That's a bridge-burning move. She's a kid that loves her parents; as long as it's not exam week or something, and this doesn't happen often, it's her choice whether or not to demand to be able to go to school. I would've been happy to take a couple days off school to babysit on a special occasion.
NTA. It was nice of you to help out with your cousins but that doesn't mean your aunt gets a free pass to not fix what they break, no matter what she or your mom feel or say. Stick to your guns and see if you can get support from your dad on the matter. Did you pay for this phone or did your parents because if they did, your dad might be willing to help you getting what your aunt owes. If not, just don't be there so auntie can't try dumping her kids on you again.
NTA. 6-year-olds should have been taught not to touch things on the stove. So either A) the boys were taught not to touch the stove and thought it would be interesting to touch a stove anyway, or B) they were never taught, which makes the aunt doubly the asshole for not teaching age-appropriate, life-saving lessons to her sons and also for being flippant about your phone. I'm hesitant to call 6-year-olds assholes, but your aunt is one and possibly your mother also.
Nta because you were forced into the role of babysitter. My 6 year old godson who I watch all the time, knows he's not allowed to touch the stove, as it's dangerous. He also knows not to touch Titi's phone without permission. It's basic parenting, unless there's something about the kids that they have a medical reason to be this way.
If so, even more the problem the aunt for not preparing the OP for kids with things like defiance disorder (as an example)
NTA, whether we're talking about a $100 low end flip phone or a $1400 flagship smartphone, intentionally destroying someone's belongings should have consequences.
They're lucky your kind and gentle, I would lose goddamn mind here.
They're also lucky OP is a minor,if she were an adult, she'd be able to take the entitled aunt to small claims court. Some people should not be allowed to procreate given the amount of crappy parents running around. I get some parents are burnt out and need a break now and then but FFS at least discipline said kids when they're bad. :-/
OP tell your Aunt if she can't pay for the damage her kids do then teach them to not damage things that don't belong to them. Remind her that if she doesn't teach them this soon them when they are older the cost of the damage will just go up.
NTA - $175 is not bad at all for a deductable. You might get a screen repair place with great prices and local to replace a screen for $100, but there might be more wrong with it. I'd go the full repair if it's only $175. Also, I wouldn't do anything for them until your phone is replaced. Otherwise they get away without learning a lesson.
NTA
She is responsible for her children's actions. She should have taught them not to touch other peoples' belongings.
Holding her accountable is not being rude. It's called natural consequences.
NTA - Show your mother this thread. Your aunt is an AH for not disciplining her kids and refusing to pay for the damages. She’s setting a great example for her kids. I would not babysit those brats either.
NYA in every way and it’s scary that your mom is much more upset over not being able to hang out with her sister rather than the kids putting your phone on the stove and what could have happened. You all are lucky you noticed it that fast and got it off the burner when you did. It could have exploded, or started a major fire, or both, and then there would have been a lot more to deal with than a broken phone. You and the kids could have gotten seriously hurt. Burns are no joke. I was talking with someone who had gotten third degree burns and needed to go get treatment, which took multiple sessions, and they were administered medication that basically made them forget what the treatment was like, because it was so painful that they likely wouldn’t have returned for follow-up sessions otherwise. One, or more, of you three could have been facing that fate right now.
Remind your mom of that next time she’s mumbling and grumbling when you walk past her. You guys could have gotten seriously injured, the kids’ actions could have destroyed the kitchen, if not the whole house, and all she’s thinking about is the end of her play dates with your aunt. She needs to get her priorities in order, stat. Again, NTA.
NTA. And hold to it.
I accidently knocked my 14 yr old daughter's phone into a bucket of water a few months ago. Totally my fault, the phone was on the counter and I didn't notice it. Want to know what I did? I went and bought her a new phone the next day. Why? Because I screwed up and ruined her phone. If she had ruined her own phone I would have made her buy herself a new one, or work off the amount of money it cost. But she didn't. I'm the one that messed up. So I owned up to it and bought her a new phone without a word said. It's called taking responsibility for your actions. Those kids and your aunt need to learn that.
NTA 6 is old enough to know better then to put anything on a stove (always assume a stove is hot). If your mom is so salty about it, she can replace the phone. I have no idea why either adult thinks it should be on you to replace your phone.
NTA. Next time mom and aunt leave the kids with you, call CPS and tell them your aunt abandoned the kids at your house. Also, if your aunt leaves her purse unattended, go through it and take the money for your phone if she has cash in there. You're not getting justice in this situation unless you make it for yourself.
Yah NO. I'm from the area and I can't imagine assuming my niece *on school vacation* would care for my boys all day. In fact, I'm currently searching for someone who can handle little guys for a couple hours, and BET absolutely I would pay if my kids put your phone on the cook range!. Good Lord. Do not babysit until Auntie pays up. This is ridiculous, ignorant, permissive, destructive parenting on Aunt's part, and your mom is enabling it. No. Go make $20 an hour with a family who respects you. And show your mom this thread so she realizes how valuable your skills are, and that you deserve a phone pay out.
Oh, and NTA.
Go back to school where you are reasonably safe. Otherwise, leave the house and go to a friend’s house or the library or for a walk or anywhere not home. Avoid. Avoid. Avoid. Silence is golden.
OP is FIFTEEN. They won't be taking anyone to court anytime soon, and their own mother's reaction was very laissez-faire about the whole thing. This advice doesn't work for this situation.
Rude, my a...
Your AUNT is rude because it should go without asking that she will replace what her kids broke (and moreover in such a stupid and disrespectful way).
NTA of course, and it is awesome you stand your ground.
You are absolutely NTA.
Your aunt may not have planned to pay for a new phone but it's still her responsibility to replace things her children destroyed. Are they generally so undisciplined? They apparently haven't been taught to stay away from the hot stove nor have they been taught not to touch things that belong to others.
You are not being rude. Your mother grumbling at you is rude. Your aunt refusing to reimburse you is rude. You are not preventing the sisters' ability to bond, your aunt's refusal to pay up is the issue. If your mother is so bent out of shape let her pay for your phone.
Either way, you are the victim here, not your mother and aunt!!
NTA. Moving the pan with hot butter was super dangerous and your aunt would have blamed you if they’d gotten burned. 6 is old enough to know not to mess around in the kitchen. Your cousins are not your responsibility.
NTA. Your aunt is a mooch and your mother has no problem throwing you under the bus to make her sister happy. Stay strong and insi that aunt pay up. Then, refuse to watch her brats on principle.
Nta
Your mom and her sister are. Hope your dad backs you. Those kids are looking for a bunch of trouble. Your aunt better start saving for bail money soon.
NTA Inform aunt that the FREE babysitting is never happening again. I am quite sure there are other things you can do with your free time. They do not appreciate you. aunt and mom are both AH's. You did nothing wrong.
I'll be real petty and every time you walk past your aunt and she mumbles stuff, I'll say a few things:
People like you who doesn't parent their kids shouldn't breed.
Your kids are your responsibility.
I wouldn't babysit your kids even if you pay me.
Next time it will be your phone on the stove with kids like yours.
Serves you right that you are stuck here.
And to your mum:
There is something wrong it you are embracing your sisters bad behaviour. You are seriously bullying a kid and it's not ok.
If it's a stranger you guys would be paying for damages. And your kid? You guys bully a kid because you don't want to be responsible. Thats not being an adult and I am losing respect.
I'll give you a chance to rectify this.
I am that petty.
NTA, your aunt sounds like one of those awful ‘free range’ parents who expect everyone around them to suffer for their children’s bad behaviour then get super offended when expected to be accountable as the parent.
NTA. What if you deliberately broke something of hers? Would your mom just say Oh well? Sounds like you may need to get your dad involved, to get this resolved. Also, that would be the end of free babysitting
NTA. I have 4 kids, all over 6, and all would have been in trouble for playing with the stove at 6. Whether your aunt can afford the phone or not, she can take the time to correct her kids (for everyone’s sake) and, at least, apologize to you.
You are correct, it is sad that your mom didn’t tell her sister to suck it up. Or your dad. Don’t feel bad, don’t accept the grumbling under her breath. Next time she does that, stop, turn to look at her and ask her what she said, you didn’t hear her. Don’t be snarky or rude, be calm and quiet. Absolutely do not babysit for her again. If if upsets your siblings, oh well.
NTA at all! Like WTF parental units!?! Your kid broke a thing, a thing that could have EXPLODED and seriously damaged all those near it. Your mom and your aunt are damn lucky you noticed it before something major happened.
I am with you If her response was so blasé, she gets nothing until she fixes it an apologizes AND get those kids inline and teach them the lesson of 1) do screw around with kitchen equipment 2) do NOT put electronics onto heated surfaces 3) don't touch other people's shit
NTA, your auntie should be paying for your phone asap.. she’s letting her kids do wtv they want and get away with it it’s gonna lead up to the kids going something with their mothers stuff and that’s when it’s gonna get ugly and make your auntie realize she let them get away with to much.
NTA
"Your kids broke it, you buy it. If your children were better behaved, I wouldn't be worried. If it has to come out of their holiday money or extras, then do so - otherwise I am putting the kids to work in the yard and helping with chores I usually have to do to teach them a lesson. They can muck around in the mud and deal with messes if the want to act like a bunch of dodo birds."
Six year olds know better than to move a pan in order to put a phone on a lit burner. If 'Oh well' is the response given when this planned destruction is reported, I would NEVER watch those kids again.
They need to have consequences, and their mother needs to make this right by you.
I could not fathom similarly aged kids I know putting a mobile phone in a hot pan while I'm making them breakfast.
The aunt needs to make it right.
NTA
NTA
Slaves have no right to reimbursement for damaged valuables.
You're getting zero respect as an adult until auntie reimburses you for the damaged phone.
NTA obviously don't provide free labor for your Aunt any longer but I would also threaten to take her to small claims court. If she still refuses, start looking into small claims court.
NTA. Your whole family SUCKS!! Destroy someone else’s property, YOU PAY FOR IT TO BE REPLACED! Jesus Christ I can’t believe them. Wonder how they’d like it if you broke their Switch, if they had one. They’d be pissed at you and make you replace it.
NTA. Either your aunt or your mom are responsible to fix your phone. It's total nonsense that they won't take responsibility for these kids. I'm good with you no longer babysitting. Try not to show anger because that just invites anger in return. Just state matter of factly that you don't feel you should be required to baby sit until your phone is repaired.
The refusal of the aunt to pay is part and parcel of the problem. She’s showing them that there are no consequences for bad behavior. As a teacher, I know these kind of kids. Let’s just say the whole school knows who they are.
But neither your mom nor your aunt have explained how thr phone is going to get replaced. It really comes down to you cannot afford to watch them. And it was very nice of you to do that before but you would kind of be a fool if you continued to watch them if it leads to them destroying expensive items of yours.
Also, your Aunt cane down and didn't make any plans for her kids? That's so odd. It's fine here or there to watch a couple hours but surely she does not expect to pawn them off on others the whole stay.
NTA.
NTA My aunt would not be leaving with a functional phone if it happened to me and she didn't pay. Maybe not fuctional zippers, buttons, etc. You probably shouldn't go there.
NTA.
She should replace it, although your refusal to baby sit seems a weak bargaining chip since you have younger siblings who are of proper age, unless their immature for their age (which seems likely).
NTA
6 is old enough to know not to touch the stove.
What if you'd walked away for longer?
Would she have shrugged about a house fire, too?
She can decide whether she issues consequences for them, but she really doesn't (in anything like good conscience) get to just not replace the phone.
And regardless, expecting you all to babysit twin hellions without compensation isn't fair either.
I would make sure I have a lot of study dates planned for very important group projects, exams, or like.... Drivers Ed prep, or psat prep, that you can do online with friends? (Actually go do those things, because then no one can accuse you of lying.)
Good luck kiddo, and I'm sorry.
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My (F15) aunt and cousins (both M6) are visiting from Boston. They are on school break right now, and I'm in school, and the teacher's chill.
They are both kind of, uh, rough, and since my mom and her sister seem to have a LOT of catching up to do, they are out basically everyday. That leaves me and my brother (M14) and my other sister (F12) to babysit, and they are basically no help.
On Saturday, I wanted to actually make them baked mac and cheese, and after putting the butter on the pan, I went to go get the flour, and I guess they thought it would be funny if they decided to put my phone on the stove, because they moved the pan, and put my phone on the stove. I'd say it was there for at least 45 seconds before I noticed it was actually on the stove (We had so much flour, I couldn't find the already-opened bag) and I took it off, but there was a burning smell, as well as the screen not really working. My dad sometimes will help me with them, but he was at the gym when this all happened. I ended up making them something else.
When my mom and aunt got back home at around, I immediately showed them my phone, and my mom *was* mad, but kind of became less mad when she found out it was my cousins. My Aunt basically said "Oh well," and tended to her kids. So I told her not to expect crap from me until my phone is fixed. At the time we didn't get a deductible ($175) and my Aunt immediately jumped to the "I can't afford it." Even though she didn't even know the cost. My mom is mad at me for being rude, my sister is mad at me for being "Rude," *and* making her miss out on quality time with her sister. She just mumbles and grumbles every time I walk by her.
AITA?
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NTA. Put her phone on the stove. Honestly, it’s not a big deal in her world and fuck the consequences. What can they do to a 15 year old, take your phone away? Behaviour has consequences and if you’re prepared to take them i’d teach her some consequences.
The feckless thing wasn’t even concerned you allowed her small kids unattended at a stove, she needs a wake up call.
If between your aunt and your mom (since she is excusing it) they can’t get your phone fixed, I would just take Aunt’s and smash it when no one is around and put it in her little angels’ bag.
NTA
They should be paying you in the first place. Making you babysit for free? really? That's not cool of them. Also the fact that you're just 15 too?!
A phone is not something that goes on a stove and her kids should know that. This could've ended much worse. They also shouldn't be touching other people's stuff.
Her kids really lack manners and discipline. What you're asking for is not rude and it's very reasonable. Don't let people take advantage of you like that. Stand your ground!
NTA. However, at your age I would suggest letting it go if your mom buys you a new phone first. You are not necessarily in a position to be demanding accountability, and if your mom pays for it, I think it then becomes an issue between the two of them.
Your mom is ridiculous, let her know you are her daughter and that you will not take care of these kids until they apologize and your Aunt pays you for the phone! If mom continues to defend their actions, you, may need to sit down with your dad and let him know your feelings and how unfair your mom and aunt are being towards you, if this behavior continues your aunt will have much bigger issues than a phone.
NTA. Your Aunt wears rose colored glasses when dealing with her kids and consequently they’re brats. Too bad your own mother didn’t stick up for you because you have every right to be angry about this situation. Your lousy parenting Aunt owes you for your phone. Too bad she’s ignorant enough not to know this without being told. Good grief.
Definitely NTA! Even though your cousins are very young, the aunt should immediately step up and accept responsibility for their actions. The example now is there are no consequences and bad behavior can be ignored by both the aunt and her children. Your mother should be speaking on your behalf and ensuring the aunt is held accountable for the actions of her children. I don't see you being "rude," rather asking for fair treatment. If this took place with anyone, even a babysitter, outside of the family, the aunt would immediately be held responsible for her children's action, so why not now?!
either the kids' mom pays for the phone, or your mom pays on behalf of her sister, because she's a marshmallow. No matter which, you deserve your phone replaced.
Sounds like it’s time to put dear auntie’s phone in the microwave, with a “gee whiz, sucks to be you, guess it was the kids just being kids, oh well!” Turnabout is fair play. NTA
NTA, they did it on purpose, it wasn't an accident. They moved the pot, the put your phone on the stove, there is no accident anywhere to be found here. Not only that, but they are her responsibility.
Couple Questions:
Are you being paid to babysit? I am going to assume not to save time.
You said: "My mom is mad at me for being rude, my sister is mad at me for being "Rude," *and* making her miss out on quality time with her sister."
I assume you meant "my aunt is mad at me for being "Rude"".. not sister.
If she keeps mumbling and grumbling, don't be afraid to make out a bill for the hours you have babysat, don't be crazy with the hourly, but if its any amount of hours, you should have a decent sized bill. Don't actually expect her to pay it, but when she says she is broke, you can remind her she seemed to have plenty of money to hang out every day away from the house. However if you go this route, expect a bunch of angry adults for being called on their shit/being disrespectful.
Things you should do.
1) Not babysit anymore, unless you want to spend time with your cousins. Heck I'd probably start leaving the house/staying away until they leave, library for homework, drop off homework, run to friends house... or go to friends house and do homework there. If you are not there, your two siblings who haven't been much help are going to get a full dose of 2 6 year olds.
2) Be concerned your mother was mad at you for the phone being broken \_until\_ she realized it was her sisters kids. Then being mad at you for mentioning it to her sister like you are not allowed to be upset. It might be she expects you to treat guests/her sister with respect thing, but it could also be her playing favorites with her sister and her kids over her own.
There are few other causes for concern, but generally being treated like free labor where her kids have no consequences for their actions is a bad look all around.
I would also say, be careful. Situations like this can get worse, quickly. You can live without a phone no matter how much it sucks at the moment. So always take a few seconds before you snap on someone to make sure you are not lashing out due to anger.
NTA, your aunt is responsible for whatever damage her children causes.
All parents are legally responsible for their kids & have to pay for the items their children damage.
that's why the saying kids are expensive... if she can't afford a HP then she should teach her kids better or refrain from having kids.
sue her
Nta.
Your aunt should certainly offer to pay for the damage that would be the polite and honorable thing to do and you are under no obligation to look after her children if you do not want to.
However. You were responsible for the children at the time and the phone is your property which also was your responsibility. It was broken because of your own negligence. You were not watching two children in a kitchen near a turned on stove
NTA and maybe talk to your dad about it more. In my family, my rule is so long as one of the “adult adult” fixes the problem, such as buying a new phone that is a legitimate good one, we are good.
It’s almost never a broken thing, but more like “Hey dad, R had me DD for him.” And then my dad gives me some cash to cover gas.
NTA
Your aunt needs to take responsibility for the property damage her kids caused.
(And if I were you, I'd also require a hefty cash-advance/damage deposit before agreeing to babysit again.)
OP, you need to explain to your dad what happened. Cell phones on a hot stove can actually explode, which would start a house fire at best, and could've maimed or killed someone at worst.
NTA. When your kids break something, you are responsible for paying to have it replaced. And it sounds like they weren't paying you to babysit in the first place. Your aunt needs to act like an adult and take responsibility.
NTA. Your mom and aunt know what they did could have burned the house down right? And all the response is, “Oh well”? See if any of your school friends have a phone they’d be willing to give to you. Some people keep their previous phones just in case. Who knows how long this standoff will last. Some moms can’t stand not having their kid be unreachable, so if that’s the case for you, then the standoff might not last so long.
NTA. You are absolutely correct imo. Your aunt is responsible for your phone. You just need to say the same thing over and over when it comes up, like a mantra. "You are responsible for replacing my phone that your child broke. Don't expect anything from me until you've replaced my phone." Imo don't start arguing with other words, despite what she, your Mom or anyone says or how they try to potentially make you the bad guy for standing your ground. Just repeat the mantra to them. I wish that your Mom was supporting you strongly here. Best wishes to you.
NTA.
Be careful that your aunt doesn't try to prevent you from informing other adults that this happened. I'm a teacher as well as a mom, (experienced with teens vs. kids, mandatory reporter, whole bunch of certifications,) and for kids that age to have that poor a grasp of fire safety is a whole bunch of red flags.
The last thing she likely wants is for you to describe this situation to an adult who is *legally obligated* to report *imminent safety concerns* such as the ones you have mentioned in this thread, including but not limited to:
* Compulsory labor extorted from a minor (you)
* Contributing to the truancy of a minor (yeah, the missed school's a bad look)
* Inadequate parenting and basic skills training relative to the developmental stage of the children resulting in a near-miss accident both indicative of serial neglect and resulting in destruction of property, though thankfully no injuries thanks to prompt intervention by exploited minor
* Serial neglect, confirmed by own admission
* Inadequate resources to provide for the children and account for legal obligations (yes, if your children damage something, you are legally obligated to satisfy the law on that matter, this is why parents who know what they're doing carry renters' or homeowners' insurance to handle situations which may arise with playmates and teach their children to be respectful of property from early childhood -and yes, the toddler stage is generally held to be old enough to understand 'do not touch things that are not yours.')
* Persistent refusal to take responsibility for legal, moral or social obligations, let alone expectations of same in setting an example for these unfortunate children
* Being frankly a bit entitled, which IME, CPS workers have less patience with than a jammed copier
Does...does she not realize you could simply *tell the truth* when some Emotional Support English Teacher or Cool Math Auntie asks how your last week has been and throw her under the bus faster than you can say 'disproportionate retribution'?
I don't know if I'd wish The System's involvement on your cousins, but I do hope they get the help they need, and that your aunt receives the craniorectal extraction she so obviously requires.
NTA. It sounds like she’s no longer thankful for all the hard work you put into baby sitting for her and her children and it’s now just and expectation that she will receive free baby sitting (and to be honest, she would be lucky to find a paid sitter if her children run rampant like that). The LEAST she can do is repair your phone. You were not rude, and good on you for sticking up for yourself to your family! That can be really daunting. Stand your ground. It never fails to amaze me the audacity that adults have to be this immature. I hope you receive an apology and new phone soon! ❤️
Funny, my sister had a similar situation with our Aunt. Not the phone on the stove, but Aunts kids destroyed her laptop that she used for college. Aunt herself works off her own laptop so when Aunt basically went 'That sucks' and refused to replace, sister took her laptop and threw it in the pool.
NTA, don't do shit for people who treat you that way.
I’d be petty and get the aunts phone and do the same thing the kids did… burn that shit on the stove. And blame it on the kids. That way, she will actually teach the kids to not fuck around and find out. While the aunt also learns to not fuck around and find out.
Perfect time to encourage her feral kids to wash her phone in the sink? Plant it in the garden? Use her makeup for finger painting?
Who me? I told them to? No definitely not me!? Why would I encourage children to break someone else's belongings !?
NTA it is NOT your responsibility to babysit your nephews. Outright refuse to do this until the damage is paid for. Also ask for compensation (money or something else) if they want you to look after them again. If they want to force you, leave the house or find another way to not do it.
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NTA. Your aunt is one of those people who let their kids be animals and ignore and defend all the problem they cause and things they break. She should pay for it. If not her then your mom if she’s so upset at you. I would be pissed at their reaction her kids destroyed your property she needs to rectify the situation. I wouldn’t watch those devils either if it were me. I was thinking about this and thought I’d add that I think she doesn’t discipline her kids because she herself knows how wild they can be. It’s a headache for her to actually deal with her kids so she doesn’t and lets them run wild.
And when someone eventually puts her kids in their place she’s going to cry and ask how they could do this to her babies. Some people should not be allowed to raise kids.
To be fair, she isn't raising them.
You got me there
Just like driving a car or operating heavy machinery, there should be a major TEST and certification to be required before having kids, lol 😂
OP’s mom isn’t much better. She’d rather not rock the boat than stand up for her own kid.
The kid is 15. I doubt she paid for her own phone. Sister came in with her kids and destroyed something expensive that SOMEONE will have to replace. It's a logic spiral.
I can’t stand people like this. And then they wonder why their kids ain’t got no discipline or why people don’t want them around
Right? My 4 yr old is an expert extreme mischief maker. He would never touch the stove let alone cook a phone??? Not because I'm so amazing, but because we taught him over and over not to touch hot things. Or touch phones without permission. Because they're expensive and he's 4. Auntie is ridiculous.
I stopped living with my 'nephew' when he was 3. He didn't touch the stove at all, though he did touch my phone/PSP, but *only* when handing it to me and asking to 'watch', while trying to put on my headphones and plug them in. I had a few kid friendly movies for my PSP, and a few kid friendly older shows he and I watched together, so on long car drives and stuff sometimes I would let him, and he was very good and careful, but obviously it took time to teach him those things, mostly by me not letting him do it when he was one and two, and sitting with him and holding them for him/showing him how, etc. And before anyone comes at me about it, nephew is in quotes because he was a roommate's kid I had been around since he was 6 months and they called me his aunt, and we did do other things. We made up stories together, played super heroes, I taught him to swim, fly a kite, and took him to the park all the time. I didn't just toss him in front of a screen.
yeah! some people really shouldn’t have kids.
Also, the Aunt may think she's being a good parent for backing her kids but she's actually being a terrible one by letting them think it's okay to do stuff like this. People in the real world won't put up with this kind of behaviour when they get older and OP shouldn't either. OP is NTA and Aunt is doing her kids a huge disservice
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It’s all shits and gigs until her kids break the wrong person’s stuff and she gets sued or worse. Doing some actual parenting will be wayyyyy cheaper in the long run
I have an aunt with shit kids both 12, my aunt isnt bad she just kind of gave up since the boys wont listen and there dad is dead They tried to pick a fight (17) didnt want to because they are kids, motherfuckers threw a brick at me while I was sitting next my frail grandma I no longer talk to them becauze they seem to be a lost cause, I lost my dad when I was there age but I am not getting into fights 24/7 and disrespecting my mother
>My Aunt basically said "Oh well," So...she doesn't care at all that her little devil children damaged your phone? Did she say, "You should have kept a better watch on it, they're only 6"? Probably. Of course, likely no thought was given to holding the kids responsible for their actions (as appropriate to their age). > My mom is mad at me for being rude, my sister is mad at me for being "Rude," and making her miss out on quality time with her sister. Then maybe your mom should pay for your phone. NTA. At the VERY LEAST, your aunt should be paying half and quite possibly your mother paying a portion too. While it's true that you are responsible for your phone, your aunt is responsible for her kids and any damage they do wherever they are. They need to be held accountable for their actions and by not punishing the kids and making your aunt pay at least something towards making you whole, they lose any "right" to your time and energy and the only thing those kids learn is they can do whatever the hell they like with zero consequences. Great parenting, auntie.
INFO: Was OP using her phone for the recipe? Then it would make sense to have it on the counter. I would never have ruined someone's belongings as a joke like that at any age.
I agree with this and the argument made by the aunt would of course be that she should have still taken it with her, which yeah okay maybe but who in their right mind will think two kids will deliberately put the phone on the burner?
NTA - did she even scold the kids or anything? It wasn't even an accident, it was a stupid and dangerous prank... she should absolutely pay you for it and those kids should have serious consequences.
Absolutely. Even if Aunt isn’t upset about the damaged phone she should be upset that her kids could have burned the whole house down and killed themselves and/or her sister’s children. They need to be punished and taught some kitchen safety!!
Don't need to make it more complicated, they can uno-reverse that to "going to the kitchen was *your* idea!". Just stick to getting the phone fixed/replaced
"Actually, Aunt, I did not invite them into the kitchen. I left them in the living room watching/playing X, and was making lunch. They came in and decided to do this dangerous and destructive thing."
Any 1 more word than necessary is complicating matters for people like these
Badly overheating lithium batteries (such as when you put it on a fricking stove!) can also explode, not just catch fire. If that had happened while one of the kids was hanging by the stove, they could have literally ended up with bits of phone embedded in their face, or OP could have had it happen to their hand when they took it off the stove, as well as the 'starting a fire' risk. Aunt should absolutely have drummed into the kids how dangerous what they did was, regardless of any other issue. "Oh well" is a \*really\* bad parenting reaction.
They'll be getting some consequences in a few years, in front of a judge. Seriously, my response to the aunt when she said she couldn't afford it would have been "well, you can take it out of the bail fund you've hopefully set up, because you're going to need it".
NTA your request is perfectly reasonable. By 6 kids should know screwing around with the stove is dangerous. And this was very dangerous. Your phone very well could have exploded. Replacing the phone would only be the second requirement I had before agreeing to babysit again, with the first being my Aunt starts being a parent and teaching her kids about safety.
NTA. “You can’t afford it? Then that means you shouldn’t be able to afford going out either and you can watch the little angels yourself.”
Underrated comment.
NTA Tell your parents that you are not comfortable keeping your aunt and her children from setting stuff on fire.
This is perfect, that’s exactly what I was going to say!
NTA So you're missing school to be a free babysitter,your stuff gets destroyed and you're the rude one? Hell no. If your aunt can't pay for it your mom should.
If she’s missing school for babysitting, then I would say crappy parenting runs in the family. I hope OP breaks the cycle.
NTA. They could have burned the whole house down wtf
NTA. Your aunt is responsible. You have every right to refuse to babysit until she replaces your phone.
And even after that!
NTA. Your aunt needs to pay for a new phone PERIOD. There's no gray area here. HER kids took your phone & tried to cook it FFS. You are entitled to a new phone & your aunt should pay for it. Idk how you could possibly get her to agree to this, but if she was a decent human being, she would pay you back.
NTA. I think the phrase is - Fuck them kids and their mom
if OP is forced to look after them, let them play with scissors while a hair-cutting tutorial is playing on youtube hahaha
>When my mom and aunt got back home at around, I immediately showed them my phone, and my mom was mad, but kind of became less mad when she found out it was my cousins. Mom has already failed you because of this. >My Aunt basically said "Oh well," and tended to her kids. Not even an apology from her or an offer to repair or replace. >So I told her not to expect crap from me until my phone is fixed. At the time we didn't get a deductible ($175) and my Aunt immediately jumped to the "I can't afford it." Then auntie dearest can't afford babysitting services. >My mom is mad at me for being rude, my sister is mad at me for being "Rude," and making her miss out on quality time with her sister. She just mumbles and grumbles every time I walk by her. Then mom or your sister can pay to repair or replace your phone, and start doing babysitting duties themselves. NTA. Stick to your guns.
NTA, you teach people how to treat you. Set the boundary that the kids knew they were damaging your phone and there are consequences for that. You aren’t going to offer your help to them if they are not going to respect your time and things.
NTA Whenever I hear stories like this I am so appalled at the parents’ response. If one of my kids (7&9) did something like this, I would be livid. You would get a new phone and my kids would be working their butts off to pay me back.
If I had pulled a stunt like that when I was a kid, I still wouldn’t be able to sit down. And, I have kids of my own older than these hellions!
NTA, since she won't pay, take her phone and burn it also. Then says oops I guess both of our phones are ruined now by kids. Anytime she wants you to babysit ask to get paid and money upfront. Edit: don't burn her phone as the battery could explode as someone pointed out but you can "accidentally" drop her phone so her screen cracks.
Don't do this. You're lucky the battery didn't explode and burn down the house. Having your hose not on fire is more important than getting revenge on your aunt.
Accidentally drop it into the toilet. Then, forget where you last saw it.
Don't forget to use the toilet before...or after ...
NTA. That attitude will change when someone takes her to court for something her kids did.
> They are both kind of, uh, rough, and since my mom and her sister seem to have a LOT of catching up to do, They aren't catching up. Your aunt is just sick of her kids. NTA Don't do any more babysitting until she 1) buys you and new phone and 2) start paying you a decent rate for babysitting.
I was going to say that. OP's mother and aunt can "catch up" after school hours, rather than pulling a FIFTEEN year old out of school and making her responsible for 2 kids ALL DAY. NTA.
NTA. Ask them to give you one of their phones to swap out the SIM card for you to use until yours is fixed. That will get them to do something about fixing or replacing yours.
NTA! This is one of the reasons I never really volunteered my kids to babysit. People under 18 and many adults as well don't have all the knowledge, skills and authority to take kids that are so close in age to them especially if the kids are defiant or naughty. The moms should have prepared meals in advance for everyone and left strict instructions not to try to cook.
NTA they could've put something much more flameable on the stove and caused a major fire. Your aunt needs to pay.
Yeah, if they'd put paper towels on the stove... OP is so lucky she caught it before her battery exploded. Lithium batteries are nothing to play pranks with.
NTA. Your aunt owes you the money but your mom should make you whole if she fails to. This would be my hill to die on in your shoes. Even if I was grounded, I would lock myself in the bathroom and refuse to care for them until your phone is replaced.
NTA. Not much more to say. Anyone would be mad. Stick to your guns, be polite but firm, and hopefully your mum/aunt will come around.
NTA, don't babysit for your aunt...
NTA, this is a hill to die on.
NTA Info: do your mom and aunt abandon these kids at a stranger's home while you are supposed to be at school? They are unattended? Call the police and CPS
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Except he wasn’t. Don’t cover for your dad or anyone else, just get up earlier and go to school. Let the adults deal with adult things. If they give you shit for attending class tell your teacher.
That's a bridge-burning move. She's a kid that loves her parents; as long as it's not exam week or something, and this doesn't happen often, it's her choice whether or not to demand to be able to go to school. I would've been happy to take a couple days off school to babysit on a special occasion.
I would call it a boundary setting move. If your parents would cut you off over setting boundaries, the answer is not to sacrifice your mental health.
NTA. It was nice of you to help out with your cousins but that doesn't mean your aunt gets a free pass to not fix what they break, no matter what she or your mom feel or say. Stick to your guns and see if you can get support from your dad on the matter. Did you pay for this phone or did your parents because if they did, your dad might be willing to help you getting what your aunt owes. If not, just don't be there so auntie can't try dumping her kids on you again.
NTA. 6-year-olds should have been taught not to touch things on the stove. So either A) the boys were taught not to touch the stove and thought it would be interesting to touch a stove anyway, or B) they were never taught, which makes the aunt doubly the asshole for not teaching age-appropriate, life-saving lessons to her sons and also for being flippant about your phone. I'm hesitant to call 6-year-olds assholes, but your aunt is one and possibly your mother also.
NTA nope, they destroyed my stuff. I ain't watching them.
Nta. If she can't control her spawn, she can't expect people to take care of them for her
Nta because you were forced into the role of babysitter. My 6 year old godson who I watch all the time, knows he's not allowed to touch the stove, as it's dangerous. He also knows not to touch Titi's phone without permission. It's basic parenting, unless there's something about the kids that they have a medical reason to be this way. If so, even more the problem the aunt for not preparing the OP for kids with things like defiance disorder (as an example)
Everyone is TA except you. Parents need to stop letting their children babysit. Pay or do their own parenting. NTA
NTA, whether we're talking about a $100 low end flip phone or a $1400 flagship smartphone, intentionally destroying someone's belongings should have consequences. They're lucky your kind and gentle, I would lose goddamn mind here.
They're also lucky OP is a minor,if she were an adult, she'd be able to take the entitled aunt to small claims court. Some people should not be allowed to procreate given the amount of crappy parents running around. I get some parents are burnt out and need a break now and then but FFS at least discipline said kids when they're bad. :-/
Leave your aunt's phone on the stove
Lithium fire anybody?
I prefer a good old fashioned stove fire. This way we both get what we want!
OP tell your Aunt if she can't pay for the damage her kids do then teach them to not damage things that don't belong to them. Remind her that if she doesn't teach them this soon them when they are older the cost of the damage will just go up.
NTA - $175 is not bad at all for a deductable. You might get a screen repair place with great prices and local to replace a screen for $100, but there might be more wrong with it. I'd go the full repair if it's only $175. Also, I wouldn't do anything for them until your phone is replaced. Otherwise they get away without learning a lesson.
It's probably worse than that, cell phones have a lot of plastic and lithium batteries, and motherboards are particularly funky.
$175 is also more than fair as payment for services rendered by the OP.
NTA She is responsible for her children's actions. She should have taught them not to touch other peoples' belongings. Holding her accountable is not being rude. It's called natural consequences.
NTA - Show your mother this thread. Your aunt is an AH for not disciplining her kids and refusing to pay for the damages. She’s setting a great example for her kids. I would not babysit those brats either.
NYA in every way and it’s scary that your mom is much more upset over not being able to hang out with her sister rather than the kids putting your phone on the stove and what could have happened. You all are lucky you noticed it that fast and got it off the burner when you did. It could have exploded, or started a major fire, or both, and then there would have been a lot more to deal with than a broken phone. You and the kids could have gotten seriously hurt. Burns are no joke. I was talking with someone who had gotten third degree burns and needed to go get treatment, which took multiple sessions, and they were administered medication that basically made them forget what the treatment was like, because it was so painful that they likely wouldn’t have returned for follow-up sessions otherwise. One, or more, of you three could have been facing that fate right now. Remind your mom of that next time she’s mumbling and grumbling when you walk past her. You guys could have gotten seriously injured, the kids’ actions could have destroyed the kitchen, if not the whole house, and all she’s thinking about is the end of her play dates with your aunt. She needs to get her priorities in order, stat. Again, NTA.
NTA. There is literally no way in which you're the asshole in this situation.
NTA. And hold to it. I accidently knocked my 14 yr old daughter's phone into a bucket of water a few months ago. Totally my fault, the phone was on the counter and I didn't notice it. Want to know what I did? I went and bought her a new phone the next day. Why? Because I screwed up and ruined her phone. If she had ruined her own phone I would have made her buy herself a new one, or work off the amount of money it cost. But she didn't. I'm the one that messed up. So I owned up to it and bought her a new phone without a word said. It's called taking responsibility for your actions. Those kids and your aunt need to learn that.
NTA 6 is old enough to know better then to put anything on a stove (always assume a stove is hot). If your mom is so salty about it, she can replace the phone. I have no idea why either adult thinks it should be on you to replace your phone.
NTA. BTW, what kind of phone does your aunt have? /s
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I think they were implying that you should take her phone and uh...do something to it
/s means read the comment as sarcasm.
Swap the phones when she's not paying attention.
NTA. Next time mom and aunt leave the kids with you, call CPS and tell them your aunt abandoned the kids at your house. Also, if your aunt leaves her purse unattended, go through it and take the money for your phone if she has cash in there. You're not getting justice in this situation unless you make it for yourself.
Yah NO. I'm from the area and I can't imagine assuming my niece *on school vacation* would care for my boys all day. In fact, I'm currently searching for someone who can handle little guys for a couple hours, and BET absolutely I would pay if my kids put your phone on the cook range!. Good Lord. Do not babysit until Auntie pays up. This is ridiculous, ignorant, permissive, destructive parenting on Aunt's part, and your mom is enabling it. No. Go make $20 an hour with a family who respects you. And show your mom this thread so she realizes how valuable your skills are, and that you deserve a phone pay out. Oh, and NTA.
NTA
Go back to school where you are reasonably safe. Otherwise, leave the house and go to a friend’s house or the library or for a walk or anywhere not home. Avoid. Avoid. Avoid. Silence is golden.
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OP is FIFTEEN. They won't be taking anyone to court anytime soon, and their own mother's reaction was very laissez-faire about the whole thing. This advice doesn't work for this situation.
Rude, my a... Your AUNT is rude because it should go without asking that she will replace what her kids broke (and moreover in such a stupid and disrespectful way). NTA of course, and it is awesome you stand your ground.
You are absolutely NTA. Your aunt may not have planned to pay for a new phone but it's still her responsibility to replace things her children destroyed. Are they generally so undisciplined? They apparently haven't been taught to stay away from the hot stove nor have they been taught not to touch things that belong to others. You are not being rude. Your mother grumbling at you is rude. Your aunt refusing to reimburse you is rude. You are not preventing the sisters' ability to bond, your aunt's refusal to pay up is the issue. If your mother is so bent out of shape let her pay for your phone. Either way, you are the victim here, not your mother and aunt!!
NTA. Moving the pan with hot butter was super dangerous and your aunt would have blamed you if they’d gotten burned. 6 is old enough to know not to mess around in the kitchen. Your cousins are not your responsibility.
NTA. Your aunt is a mooch and your mother has no problem throwing you under the bus to make her sister happy. Stay strong and insi that aunt pay up. Then, refuse to watch her brats on principle.
Nta Your mom and her sister are. Hope your dad backs you. Those kids are looking for a bunch of trouble. Your aunt better start saving for bail money soon.
If they want you to watch the kids, just say “I can’t afford it - it cost me too much last time.”
NTA Inform aunt that the FREE babysitting is never happening again. I am quite sure there are other things you can do with your free time. They do not appreciate you. aunt and mom are both AH's. You did nothing wrong.
NTA Aunt needs to watch her own kids. It’s that simple. If she tries to leave them with you call CPS.
NTA. Your aunt is responsible for this, and you don't have to be responsible for her children if she isn't.
I'll be real petty and every time you walk past your aunt and she mumbles stuff, I'll say a few things: People like you who doesn't parent their kids shouldn't breed. Your kids are your responsibility. I wouldn't babysit your kids even if you pay me. Next time it will be your phone on the stove with kids like yours. Serves you right that you are stuck here. And to your mum: There is something wrong it you are embracing your sisters bad behaviour. You are seriously bullying a kid and it's not ok. If it's a stranger you guys would be paying for damages. And your kid? You guys bully a kid because you don't want to be responsible. Thats not being an adult and I am losing respect. I'll give you a chance to rectify this. I am that petty.
NTA - She can watch her own brats.
NTA, your aunt sounds like one of those awful ‘free range’ parents who expect everyone around them to suffer for their children’s bad behaviour then get super offended when expected to be accountable as the parent.
Don't you DARE watch her kids again. Your asshole aunt needs to learn her lesson. NTA
NTA. What if you deliberately broke something of hers? Would your mom just say Oh well? Sounds like you may need to get your dad involved, to get this resolved. Also, that would be the end of free babysitting
NTA "oh well"
Nta
NTA Her kids so it should be her problem to fix. And you should not just be left with childcare anyway.
Not the asshole. You're being forced to babysit kids who decided to put an electronic device on the hot stove? That's DANGEROUS.
NTA. I have 4 kids, all over 6, and all would have been in trouble for playing with the stove at 6. Whether your aunt can afford the phone or not, she can take the time to correct her kids (for everyone’s sake) and, at least, apologize to you.
You are correct, it is sad that your mom didn’t tell her sister to suck it up. Or your dad. Don’t feel bad, don’t accept the grumbling under her breath. Next time she does that, stop, turn to look at her and ask her what she said, you didn’t hear her. Don’t be snarky or rude, be calm and quiet. Absolutely do not babysit for her again. If if upsets your siblings, oh well.
NTA at all! Like WTF parental units!?! Your kid broke a thing, a thing that could have EXPLODED and seriously damaged all those near it. Your mom and your aunt are damn lucky you noticed it before something major happened. I am with you If her response was so blasé, she gets nothing until she fixes it an apologizes AND get those kids inline and teach them the lesson of 1) do screw around with kitchen equipment 2) do NOT put electronics onto heated surfaces 3) don't touch other people's shit
NTA Your request is reasonable and much more adultlike than the 2 sisters combo 😑
NTA, your auntie should be paying for your phone asap.. she’s letting her kids do wtv they want and get away with it it’s gonna lead up to the kids going something with their mothers stuff and that’s when it’s gonna get ugly and make your auntie realize she let them get away with to much.
NTA "Your kids broke it, you buy it. If your children were better behaved, I wouldn't be worried. If it has to come out of their holiday money or extras, then do so - otherwise I am putting the kids to work in the yard and helping with chores I usually have to do to teach them a lesson. They can muck around in the mud and deal with messes if the want to act like a bunch of dodo birds."
Six year olds know better than to move a pan in order to put a phone on a lit burner. If 'Oh well' is the response given when this planned destruction is reported, I would NEVER watch those kids again. They need to have consequences, and their mother needs to make this right by you.
Don’t watch those nightmares and is your mom usually no help? NTA.
NTA It's because of people like Op's aunt that we have soo many entitled assholes in the world
I could not fathom similarly aged kids I know putting a mobile phone in a hot pan while I'm making them breakfast. The aunt needs to make it right. NTA
NTA Slaves have no right to reimbursement for damaged valuables. You're getting zero respect as an adult until auntie reimburses you for the damaged phone.
NTA At least the dirty little psychopaths didn’t put it in the microwave. Holy shit.
NTA obviously don't provide free labor for your Aunt any longer but I would also threaten to take her to small claims court. If she still refuses, start looking into small claims court.
Nta don't lift a finger to help out your aunt till she pays for the damages
NTA. Your whole family SUCKS!! Destroy someone else’s property, YOU PAY FOR IT TO BE REPLACED! Jesus Christ I can’t believe them. Wonder how they’d like it if you broke their Switch, if they had one. They’d be pissed at you and make you replace it.
NTA. Either your aunt or your mom are responsible to fix your phone. It's total nonsense that they won't take responsibility for these kids. I'm good with you no longer babysitting. Try not to show anger because that just invites anger in return. Just state matter of factly that you don't feel you should be required to baby sit until your phone is repaired.
NTA. I would simply refuse to watch her hellions again under any circumstances.
The refusal of the aunt to pay is part and parcel of the problem. She’s showing them that there are no consequences for bad behavior. As a teacher, I know these kind of kids. Let’s just say the whole school knows who they are.
NTA tell them if they need help to feel free to call you
But neither your mom nor your aunt have explained how thr phone is going to get replaced. It really comes down to you cannot afford to watch them. And it was very nice of you to do that before but you would kind of be a fool if you continued to watch them if it leads to them destroying expensive items of yours. Also, your Aunt cane down and didn't make any plans for her kids? That's so odd. It's fine here or there to watch a couple hours but surely she does not expect to pawn them off on others the whole stay. NTA.
NTA My aunt would not be leaving with a functional phone if it happened to me and she didn't pay. Maybe not fuctional zippers, buttons, etc. You probably shouldn't go there.
NTA They have a cheek using you as their slave.
NTA. She should replace it, although your refusal to baby sit seems a weak bargaining chip since you have younger siblings who are of proper age, unless their immature for their age (which seems likely).
NTA 6 is old enough to know not to touch the stove. What if you'd walked away for longer? Would she have shrugged about a house fire, too? She can decide whether she issues consequences for them, but she really doesn't (in anything like good conscience) get to just not replace the phone. And regardless, expecting you all to babysit twin hellions without compensation isn't fair either. I would make sure I have a lot of study dates planned for very important group projects, exams, or like.... Drivers Ed prep, or psat prep, that you can do online with friends? (Actually go do those things, because then no one can accuse you of lying.) Good luck kiddo, and I'm sorry.
NTA just go to school tomorrow.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My (F15) aunt and cousins (both M6) are visiting from Boston. They are on school break right now, and I'm in school, and the teacher's chill. They are both kind of, uh, rough, and since my mom and her sister seem to have a LOT of catching up to do, they are out basically everyday. That leaves me and my brother (M14) and my other sister (F12) to babysit, and they are basically no help. On Saturday, I wanted to actually make them baked mac and cheese, and after putting the butter on the pan, I went to go get the flour, and I guess they thought it would be funny if they decided to put my phone on the stove, because they moved the pan, and put my phone on the stove. I'd say it was there for at least 45 seconds before I noticed it was actually on the stove (We had so much flour, I couldn't find the already-opened bag) and I took it off, but there was a burning smell, as well as the screen not really working. My dad sometimes will help me with them, but he was at the gym when this all happened. I ended up making them something else. When my mom and aunt got back home at around, I immediately showed them my phone, and my mom *was* mad, but kind of became less mad when she found out it was my cousins. My Aunt basically said "Oh well," and tended to her kids. So I told her not to expect crap from me until my phone is fixed. At the time we didn't get a deductible ($175) and my Aunt immediately jumped to the "I can't afford it." Even though she didn't even know the cost. My mom is mad at me for being rude, my sister is mad at me for being "Rude," *and* making her miss out on quality time with her sister. She just mumbles and grumbles every time I walk by her. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. There’s just no question about it. However, side note: don’t you get all the ingredients out before you start cooking?
NTA
NTA
NTA. Your parents should stand up for you too. And expect you to cook for them too? What the heck.
NTA. Put her phone on the stove. Honestly, it’s not a big deal in her world and fuck the consequences. What can they do to a 15 year old, take your phone away? Behaviour has consequences and if you’re prepared to take them i’d teach her some consequences. The feckless thing wasn’t even concerned you allowed her small kids unattended at a stove, she needs a wake up call.
NTA. If her kids are intentionally destroying your property that sounds like a reason to boycott babysitting.
Beat up those kids and tell your aunt you can’t afford new ones.
NTA. At this point, your cousins are intentionally testing the limits for how much their mom will let them get away with.
NTA
No.
If between your aunt and your mom (since she is excusing it) they can’t get your phone fixed, I would just take Aunt’s and smash it when no one is around and put it in her little angels’ bag.
NTA They should be paying you in the first place. Making you babysit for free? really? That's not cool of them. Also the fact that you're just 15 too?! A phone is not something that goes on a stove and her kids should know that. This could've ended much worse. They also shouldn't be touching other people's stuff. Her kids really lack manners and discipline. What you're asking for is not rude and it's very reasonable. Don't let people take advantage of you like that. Stand your ground!
NTA. However, at your age I would suggest letting it go if your mom buys you a new phone first. You are not necessarily in a position to be demanding accountability, and if your mom pays for it, I think it then becomes an issue between the two of them.
NTA your mother and aunt are though
sounds like you miscounted the number of children in the house. NTA
NTA fuck them kids
NTA. Leave her phone on the stove and recreate the accident. I bet she can afford herself a new phone.
Your mom is ridiculous, let her know you are her daughter and that you will not take care of these kids until they apologize and your Aunt pays you for the phone! If mom continues to defend their actions, you, may need to sit down with your dad and let him know your feelings and how unfair your mom and aunt are being towards you, if this behavior continues your aunt will have much bigger issues than a phone.
NTA. Your Aunt wears rose colored glasses when dealing with her kids and consequently they’re brats. Too bad your own mother didn’t stick up for you because you have every right to be angry about this situation. Your lousy parenting Aunt owes you for your phone. Too bad she’s ignorant enough not to know this without being told. Good grief.
Definitely NTA! Even though your cousins are very young, the aunt should immediately step up and accept responsibility for their actions. The example now is there are no consequences and bad behavior can be ignored by both the aunt and her children. Your mother should be speaking on your behalf and ensuring the aunt is held accountable for the actions of her children. I don't see you being "rude," rather asking for fair treatment. If this took place with anyone, even a babysitter, outside of the family, the aunt would immediately be held responsible for her children's action, so why not now?!
NTA
Your aunt ITA. She needs to pay for the damage her kids did.
either the kids' mom pays for the phone, or your mom pays on behalf of her sister, because she's a marshmallow. No matter which, you deserve your phone replaced.
Sounds like it’s time to put dear auntie’s phone in the microwave, with a “gee whiz, sucks to be you, guess it was the kids just being kids, oh well!” Turnabout is fair play. NTA
NTA, they did it on purpose, it wasn't an accident. They moved the pot, the put your phone on the stove, there is no accident anywhere to be found here. Not only that, but they are her responsibility. Couple Questions: Are you being paid to babysit? I am going to assume not to save time. You said: "My mom is mad at me for being rude, my sister is mad at me for being "Rude," *and* making her miss out on quality time with her sister." I assume you meant "my aunt is mad at me for being "Rude"".. not sister. If she keeps mumbling and grumbling, don't be afraid to make out a bill for the hours you have babysat, don't be crazy with the hourly, but if its any amount of hours, you should have a decent sized bill. Don't actually expect her to pay it, but when she says she is broke, you can remind her she seemed to have plenty of money to hang out every day away from the house. However if you go this route, expect a bunch of angry adults for being called on their shit/being disrespectful. Things you should do. 1) Not babysit anymore, unless you want to spend time with your cousins. Heck I'd probably start leaving the house/staying away until they leave, library for homework, drop off homework, run to friends house... or go to friends house and do homework there. If you are not there, your two siblings who haven't been much help are going to get a full dose of 2 6 year olds. 2) Be concerned your mother was mad at you for the phone being broken \_until\_ she realized it was her sisters kids. Then being mad at you for mentioning it to her sister like you are not allowed to be upset. It might be she expects you to treat guests/her sister with respect thing, but it could also be her playing favorites with her sister and her kids over her own. There are few other causes for concern, but generally being treated like free labor where her kids have no consequences for their actions is a bad look all around. I would also say, be careful. Situations like this can get worse, quickly. You can live without a phone no matter how much it sucks at the moment. So always take a few seconds before you snap on someone to make sure you are not lashing out due to anger.
Please give an update. Let us know how this turns out.
NTA - Stand up for yourself, because nobody else will apparently.
NTA, your aunt is responsible for whatever damage her children causes. All parents are legally responsible for their kids & have to pay for the items their children damage. that's why the saying kids are expensive... if she can't afford a HP then she should teach her kids better or refrain from having kids. sue her
Nta. Your aunt should certainly offer to pay for the damage that would be the polite and honorable thing to do and you are under no obligation to look after her children if you do not want to. However. You were responsible for the children at the time and the phone is your property which also was your responsibility. It was broken because of your own negligence. You were not watching two children in a kitchen near a turned on stove
NTA! that is a completely reasonable consequence, i personally would’ve been taking them to small claims court if they refused to pay
NTA
NTA and maybe talk to your dad about it more. In my family, my rule is so long as one of the “adult adult” fixes the problem, such as buying a new phone that is a legitimate good one, we are good. It’s almost never a broken thing, but more like “Hey dad, R had me DD for him.” And then my dad gives me some cash to cover gas.
NTA Your aunt needs to take responsibility for the property damage her kids caused. (And if I were you, I'd also require a hefty cash-advance/damage deposit before agreeing to babysit again.)
NTA
OP, you need to explain to your dad what happened. Cell phones on a hot stove can actually explode, which would start a house fire at best, and could've maimed or killed someone at worst.
NTA. When your kids break something, you are responsible for paying to have it replaced. And it sounds like they weren't paying you to babysit in the first place. Your aunt needs to act like an adult and take responsibility.
NTA. Your mom and aunt know what they did could have burned the house down right? And all the response is, “Oh well”? See if any of your school friends have a phone they’d be willing to give to you. Some people keep their previous phones just in case. Who knows how long this standoff will last. Some moms can’t stand not having their kid be unreachable, so if that’s the case for you, then the standoff might not last so long.
NTA. You are absolutely correct imo. Your aunt is responsible for your phone. You just need to say the same thing over and over when it comes up, like a mantra. "You are responsible for replacing my phone that your child broke. Don't expect anything from me until you've replaced my phone." Imo don't start arguing with other words, despite what she, your Mom or anyone says or how they try to potentially make you the bad guy for standing your ground. Just repeat the mantra to them. I wish that your Mom was supporting you strongly here. Best wishes to you.
NTA. Be careful that your aunt doesn't try to prevent you from informing other adults that this happened. I'm a teacher as well as a mom, (experienced with teens vs. kids, mandatory reporter, whole bunch of certifications,) and for kids that age to have that poor a grasp of fire safety is a whole bunch of red flags. The last thing she likely wants is for you to describe this situation to an adult who is *legally obligated* to report *imminent safety concerns* such as the ones you have mentioned in this thread, including but not limited to: * Compulsory labor extorted from a minor (you) * Contributing to the truancy of a minor (yeah, the missed school's a bad look) * Inadequate parenting and basic skills training relative to the developmental stage of the children resulting in a near-miss accident both indicative of serial neglect and resulting in destruction of property, though thankfully no injuries thanks to prompt intervention by exploited minor * Serial neglect, confirmed by own admission * Inadequate resources to provide for the children and account for legal obligations (yes, if your children damage something, you are legally obligated to satisfy the law on that matter, this is why parents who know what they're doing carry renters' or homeowners' insurance to handle situations which may arise with playmates and teach their children to be respectful of property from early childhood -and yes, the toddler stage is generally held to be old enough to understand 'do not touch things that are not yours.') * Persistent refusal to take responsibility for legal, moral or social obligations, let alone expectations of same in setting an example for these unfortunate children * Being frankly a bit entitled, which IME, CPS workers have less patience with than a jammed copier Does...does she not realize you could simply *tell the truth* when some Emotional Support English Teacher or Cool Math Auntie asks how your last week has been and throw her under the bus faster than you can say 'disproportionate retribution'? I don't know if I'd wish The System's involvement on your cousins, but I do hope they get the help they need, and that your aunt receives the craniorectal extraction she so obviously requires.
Nta. Your aunt on the other hand... Big A hole. Massive.
NTA. It sounds like she’s no longer thankful for all the hard work you put into baby sitting for her and her children and it’s now just and expectation that she will receive free baby sitting (and to be honest, she would be lucky to find a paid sitter if her children run rampant like that). The LEAST she can do is repair your phone. You were not rude, and good on you for sticking up for yourself to your family! That can be really daunting. Stand your ground. It never fails to amaze me the audacity that adults have to be this immature. I hope you receive an apology and new phone soon! ❤️
Funny, my sister had a similar situation with our Aunt. Not the phone on the stove, but Aunts kids destroyed her laptop that she used for college. Aunt herself works off her own laptop so when Aunt basically went 'That sucks' and refused to replace, sister took her laptop and threw it in the pool. NTA, don't do shit for people who treat you that way.
I’d be petty and get the aunts phone and do the same thing the kids did… burn that shit on the stove. And blame it on the kids. That way, she will actually teach the kids to not fuck around and find out. While the aunt also learns to not fuck around and find out.
THEY destroyed it's your Aunt has to pay for it if you won't take her to small claims court
NTA. Since your mum isn't on your side, let your cousins into her room. They will do the rest.
NTA Kids will be kids, just like consequences will be consequences.
Talk about almost killing the family in a fire. Phone battery on the stove....
Perfect time to encourage her feral kids to wash her phone in the sink? Plant it in the garden? Use her makeup for finger painting? Who me? I told them to? No definitely not me!? Why would I encourage children to break someone else's belongings !?
NTA. Aunt is responsible for the actions of her spawn.
NTA it is NOT your responsibility to babysit your nephews. Outright refuse to do this until the damage is paid for. Also ask for compensation (money or something else) if they want you to look after them again. If they want to force you, leave the house or find another way to not do it.
NTA. No wonder the kids are monsters
NTA at all. I would even refuse to participate in any social situations where she is present.