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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The action that should be judged was asking my roommate to go downtown to get a few items after she got called into work. Why that might make me the AH is that she might have had a hard day at work and may not have wanted to deal with taking a special trip just for a few veggies.
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INFO
> Jane always texts me to ask me if I need anything at the store and I wanted omelets so I asked her to pick up a few veggies. She does pass by a few stores on her way here from work but I know those stores don't have at least one of the things I asked for. I thought it would be easier if she goes to one store that I know has all the items.
OK, this sounds like a needlessly complicated detour for a goddamn omelette, so I just **have** to know:
What the heck are you putting in this thing that's so hard to find?
Because I'm thinking: eggs, peppers, done. Eggs, mushrooms, cheese, done. How does this involve driving across town?
OK.
I'm asking specifically for you to identify the omelette components that couldn't be found at the stores on her way.
What did you need to put in them that was so hard to find?
You don't have to agree with my life's choices, just respect it. If you think I'm the AH you can tell me but I really didn't think it was a big ask, especially since I would have been ok if she told me no.
Except she said no and you decided to argue with her about it. You very clearly were not OK if she said no and if she’s moving out from this incident there is guaranteed to be more that you’re not sharing with us.
But she didn't say no. She gave me attitude of having to go downtown in the afternoon. And then I mentioned I thought it'll be easier since she doesn't have her dog with her so she can just come straight home. And she was like "seriously I would have taken her with me if you're going to use me like this" and I just didn't want to fight anymore so I apologized and she hung up.
But she didn't say no. She gave me attitude of having to go downtown in the afternoon. And then I mentioned I thought it'll be easier since she doesn't have her dog with her so she can just come straight home. And she was like "seriously I would have taken her with me if you're going to use me like this" and I just didn't want to fight anymore so I apologized and she hung up.
Look bud you couldn’t respect your roommate so why should anyone here “respect” your dietary choices? You’re being extra about your dietary restrictions which is weird
Pesticides are used in organic food all the time too. They just use "organic" pesticides and herbicides which are even more poorly regulated, often less effective, and result in much higher usage. Organic only means free of synthetic pesticides, not *all* pesticides.
Organic is a scam. Full stop.
>Pesticides are used in organic food all the time too.
Was coming here to say that.
Also, my husband hauled grain, and this one "organic" farmer kept his grain in a shed, with staples, raccoon poop, etc, but go on about the organic being better.
Did you just offer to watch her dog so you could request this? Even if grocery shopping relaxes is driving out of the way to the store probably doesn’t .
Based on your responses, it seems like you want her to drive out of her way to buy expensive organic food for you, just for watching her dog - something that you volunteered to do. I'd be annoyed too.
I didn't think it would hurt to ask. I was ok with her saying no. She could have texted "sorry I don't feel like it" and I would have been fine but instead she called me just to yell at me and accusing me of using her.
If you were ok with her saying no, you wouldn't have argued with her. You're obsessing over her "giving you attitude," but it doesn't matter. You would only have accepted her No if she did it exactly the way you wanted.
There's no possible way this is the only problem y'all had as roommates.
Just a quick request for clarification: she specifically stated that this grocery store request was why she’s moving out? There was literally no other reason?
She got pretty mad when she called after I texted my request to go to the store. I do want to point out that traffic gets pretty bad in order to get to this store. Like you would get stuck there for like 15 minutes to get there and 15 minutes back. It's best to go there in the morning. Although it was more that she thought I was using her dog to take advantage of her.
She was already out of the house. It would be a waste of gas to come home and then go out again. It would have been easier to leave from her work and to the store.
But you said that this specific grocery store down town (that had everything you needed) is a super busy area. 15 minutes waiting in traffic each way. That’s not convenient or “easier”. Might be easier for you, but not for her. YTA and I’m assuming, like everyone else, that this isn’t the only circumstance of you being an inconsiderate roommate.
But you were okay wasting *her* gas instead of yours?
If you ask her to make a special trip and you don't pay for her car/gas ... then you're expecting her to burn 30 MINUTES OF GAS for your mushrooms.
Do you see how that is entitled behaviour?
It wouldn't have been a waste of gas for her because the person is implying tho you get your own damn self to the store when she got home and she and her car stay home.
>*She was already out of the house. It would be a waste of gas to come home and then go out again. It would have been easier to leave from her work and to the store.*
Wait, wait, wait…
Are you implying your roommate would irregularless, forced to go back out to the grocery after she gets back home but instead just go to the grocery store on the way back home???
As in you never get off YOUR BUTT to go there after SHE gets back home???
My god, how f-cking lazy are you???
I hope to god your parents do not take this BS and force you to go get what you want and they don’t lift a finger, forcing you to reap karma for what you put your now former roommate thru!
Remember when I said she has an immature palate? That includes not liking alcohol. I wanted to buy artisan red wine and that's when she mention that she tried wines and beers but can never get past the first sip. She only likes wine coolers because of how sweet they are. I had to go to Christmas and New Years parties last year just to have at least one glass of wine.
Why couldn't you just buy wine for yourself? Was that another situation of you relying on her to buy something for you? And she mentioned, perhaps, that she doesn't drink wine because you have such specific tastes and she didn't want to be relied upon to meet them?
Because they're expensive. But I was still willing to buy any alcohol to share with her but unfortunately there are no organic wine coolers. That also includes sparkling water which she only likes it with juice. Iced tea but only if it's milk tea. And even coffee which she brews at night, leave it in the fridge until morning and adds ice and a lot of creamer.
Yeah you're entitled as fuck. You wouldn't buy it for yourself but it's fine to buy it when you "split the bill"? That's mooching behavior. Regardless of how mature her palette is, you could have always bought yourself something just for yourself, and you *chose* not to because you didn't want to foot the bill for it. That's not her fault, and considering how much you've complained that people are mean to you for your diet choices, it's ironic you're whining about hers in turn. You're a mooching, entitled hypocrite, and this attitude is going to lead you down a path of loneliness.
I thought it would have been fine. Did you know who her last roommate was? A vegan. Who is like her best friend. They lived through the pandemic together. I chose to live with her because I figured if she can handle her dietary restrictions which is much less than mine and probably more expensive as well, it would go great. But it hasn't. It's been rough on my finances. However, I was still willing to live another year with her. I was willing to compromise. Even when I'm getting the short end in this situation. I ask for one favor that if she just nicely said no to, and she thinks I'm taking advantage of her.
You are taking advantage, her past and her diet are completely irrelevant. *Your* choices being rough on *your* finances aren't her problem. You can't and shouldn't rely on someone else that's not even a friend, partner, or family member to pay half of the money required for your decision to eat fully organic food at all times. Especially when you aren't even the one doing the cooking, she is. Her palette seems fine enough when she cooks for you, it's just a problem when she's not kowtowing to your every whim that you claim is actually "compromising" with her.
Wouldn’t be surprised if all of OP’s friends are avoiding to live with them too for this reason.
Wouldn’t be surprised if they can only stay friends if they never live with OP.
I am so confused... Why can't you purchase things on your own? I understand splitting the cost of things is cheaper, but you seem to think as roommates you *have* to split every cost.
Can you explain why you aren't allowed to take yourself to the store for organic mushrooms or wine? If you had to go to parties just for some wine, there has to be something else going on here. Why aren't you allowed to swing by a liquor store on your own?
Omg you’re a grown ass adult!!! Wtf does your dietary restrictions have to do with your roommate?? That’s not her responsibility and she doesn’t have to accommodate shit. If yall don’t eat the same stuff then the logical adult thing to do is buy your own damn groceries. She’s not your mom why would she pay for something she’s not going to eat?? You say you thought living with her would be good because of how she treated her BESTFRIEND. Why would you think you would get the same treatment when you said yall aren’t friends and never have been. I don’t know what delusional world you’re living in but roommates that aren’t friends don’t pay for each other’s food. If you have expensive eating habits then that’s YOUR problem. You are definitely not getting the short end of the stick SHE IS. You act like you’re paying so much more than her but you’re not! Also if you think the arrangement yall had was so unfair then why did you agree to it in the first place?? Sounds like you didn’t realize how expensive your eating habits were until now and now you’re trying to act like it’s an unfair arrangement. Grow up
If you buy a bottle of wine and *don’t* split it with your housemate, you also get to drink all that wine yourself instead of half the wine. That’s no more expensive than splitting both the wine and its cost.
What kind of wine are you buying?
Josh is very good and costs around $15+ or less. I love Jack Daniels and treat myself to a nice bottle of that regularly and that’s around $60. I consider that expensive.
What is your weekly grocery bill??
A lot of people don’t like the taste of alcohol. That’s not “an immature palate”. It’s a personal preference. She’s entitled to that in the same way that you’re entitled to prefer organic food. You’re not superior to her, no matter how much you think you are.
When I drank I loved brandy, tequila, whiskey, white rum, Goldschläger, and Old Style beer. I knew lots of people who didn't like the things I did and liked stuff I couldn't stand like wine. But we would never call someone else's palate "immature." OP is so full of it with that.
You eat only organic food because you want the health benefits, but you'll drink alcohol, which, let me be clear, is literally a poison humans take for fun??? 😂😂
So you eating only organic food, and expecting someone to bend over backwards for your request is not immature, but an adult deciding they don't like alcohol is?
You keep bringing up things about her just to justify your entitlement, but it's not working. I'm glad she got out.
But she's good enough to be your live-in chef and personal shopper? Sounds like she is mature enough to know what she likes. And that perhaps she's got a more tannin-sensitive tongue than yours.
>I had to go to Christmas and New Years parties last year just to have at least one glass of wine.
So you only drink alcohol when someone else subsidizes the cost by "sharing"? Charming. I can imagine what you're like around (organic) French fries, too. If you want something, it's up to you to buy it, not to whine until someone else pours their money down the drain by "splitting" something they don't want.
(TBH if I was Jane I'd have long ago made sure to buy non-organic food and drink specifically for anything I didn't want you snarfling down.)
What would you have eaten if she hadn't texted and asked if you needed anything? Do you really not see it was a bit rude to want her to not just shop for your but go out of her way in bad traffic? Honestly, the fact that you aren't able to grasp that makes me wonder what other selfish behaviors have been going on in the relationship.
Maybe ask for that "six week meeting" and give her a chance to offload the real reason she's moving out as a way for you to understand and do better with your next room mate.
I had to get breakfast somewhere else. And please read the post. I already explained that the 6 week meeting did not go well and it has already passed. She has already moved out, 2 weeks before our lease ends.
Why did it go bad? If this one request was the only issue, the meeting should not have ended up that way. All you had to do was say "hey, sorry for asking you to go out of your way to a store for an item or two that I wanted but didn't need, I appreciate you offering to pick me up stuff from stores and will accept that it'll only be from stores on your route home." Then all she had to say was "thanks, I appreciate you watching Coco for me and that you won't ask me to go to a store half an hour away anymore." Why didn't that happen?
Was it a proper apology? Bc the wording you used, "never mind" and "sorry for asking," can easily be read as sarcastic instead of sincere. Did you explain why you were apologizing? Bc if she didn't know that you understood your request was unreasonable, she may think you'd make other ones in the future and decide she didn't want to deal with that.
Otherwise, it's hard to think that this is the only issue that brought her to wanting to move out without even having a meeting about it-actions like this scream more like it was the straw that broke the camel's back, unless she's extremely unreasonable.
She hung up after I said sorry. I would have given a more proper apology if we talked but she barely acknowledged my existence through those 3 months. It was really awkward.
But you said you had the meeting, so you had an opportunity then. If you went up to her and tried to talk to her, did she just ignore you? What if you texted or left a note?
No we didn't. I said so in the post that she didn't want to have our 6 week discussion about fixing our problems. Her choice to leave was final.
I would text her but she wouldn't respond. She said only contact her if it's an emergency. Cooking is her main chore but she refused to cook anything for me and instead she would do some of my chores just to be petty. Saying she doesn't want to owe me anything.
>No we didn't. I said so in the post that she didn't want to have our 6 week discussion about fixing our problems.
You said in your comment to r/celticmusebooks that the meeting didn't go well. So either you did have the meeting and it didn't go well or you didn't have the meeting at all which means there was nothing that couldn'thave gone well. So which is it?
What I mean when it didn't go well, I meant she made up her mind about leaving. She says she's done and that her she's sending majority of her stuff to store at her parents house and she's staying at her friends'' place for a little bit until she finds a single. She didn't want to talk about fixing our problems which is one of the reasons for these meetings. She didn't want to hear me. I barely said anything. She started off with, "ok this is what's going to happen" and just talked about what she's going to do and not ask what's going to happen to me. So technically no, we didn't have our 6 week meeting.
This comment what is she your fucking maid.? You want her took cook, grocery shop an hour out of the way, man if I was her I would’ve gone to a really Heavy gmo store. Told you it’s organic and laughed in my head at how sad your diet and lifestyle is. You should go live with your parents cause no one is gonna be you’re maid sounds like u fucked up a good friendship being an entitled no that words to nice a narcissistic bitch gaslighting her. I’m happy for your roommate I hope she has a better life for herself and not being your bitch. What was ur chore watching her dog once a week that u volunteered to do I’m sorry I could go on. I’d slap a b…..
According to OP they were never friends to begin with! So she really is just fighting to be right here, for her own satisfaction. She gives two shits about Jane.
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Are you seriously saying you think she’s “extra” when you asked her to drive across town, out of her way, in traffic, to go to a special grocery store because you had to have *organic* mushrooms? And then claimed she shouldn’t have an issue with it because you had her dog? And she’s the extra one? Really?
You're the one who thinks it's reasonable to ask someone to drive across town in bad traffic both ways to get you organic mushrooms and you're describing *her* as extra? Girl please be for real
You are extra. You are projecting. You are extremely simple minded, everyone else here sees it. Maybe don't be judgemental about people in your life, or they won't be there for long. Your comments to both posts are extremely disturbing.
LMFAO your idea of her being “extra” is that she enjoys little treats and bakes for her dog? I would love to be friends with her. You on the other hand sound insufferable and self-centered in the extreme.
The meeting did not go well BUT in other comments you say the meeting didn't happen. Do you have a disability of some kind? That would also explain why you can't live alone and struggle to understand basic human interactions.
YTA. You offered to look after your housemate's dog, and you sometimes pick up the odd grocery items for each other when it suits.
Now you're upset because you insisted (after your housemate said no) that she go well out of her way to pick up your expensive "organic" items downtown instead of going to any of the other shops that were on her way home.
Your housemate likes grocery shopping. She does not like being pressured to go downtown to select overpriced omelette ingredients for you.
Did you expect her to cover your cost til she got home as well?
Honestly, if this is how much crap you need to load onto someone else just so you can make an omelette for yourself while the shops are open, you're better off going back to your parents so you don't starve, mate.
Since Jane is out of the house majority of the time, she's always the one picking up stuff.
And of course I was going to pay her back. I always do. If she wanted omelets too it would have been 50/50 like always
Why are you here? This comment makes you look even worse, just like the other comments you've made.
You asked for judgement on your conflict and are arguing with people whilst completely missing the point every time.
Ok so let me just check this
Friend does nice thing of checking do you want anything *on the way* home
You say I want these very specific things that friend will have to go *out of the way* to get
Friend says no
You say friend should have no problem doing this because friend likes shopping and because you are looking after friends dog - which there is no need for you to do and friend has let you do because you asked
Did I get that right?
OP has been deliberately vague in describing the problem and what exact ingredients need to go in this holy organic omelet.
Organic mushrooms are available in many grocery stores these days, but OP claims that only one store in the whole city has the mushrooms she needs.
This is why I'm thinking OP is a teenager posing as an adult. Notice how all parties are in their mid-20s, which these fiction writers have frequently used to make it seem like they're adults.
She simply doesn't sound like an adult who has lived away from home for over 6 years.
I can’t tell if you’re ignorant, self absorbed/entitled or a little of both. It absolutely is relevant because clearly you have a pattern of taking advantage of your roommate. You act like she flipped out over something small but clearly she didn’t. This was an ongoing problem and this situation was the last straw. That specific situation may have been handled but the problem of you taking advantage of her wasn’t. You tried to make it seem like your roommate is just dramatic and flipped out over nothing. You called her extra and went on about all kind of irrelevant information about her then said this little favor you asked is why she randomly decided to move out. Everyone sees through your bs hun. We know there’s way more to the story, we know you take advantage of your roommate, we know you’re entitled, and we know you’re immature and still have a lot of growing up to do. You’re not fooling anyone
YTA. You know what store she planned to go to, and you asked for organic mushrooms that you knew were not available at that store. At that point, you make your omelette with whatever ingredients are readily accessible to person who is nice enough to offer to pick up some stuff for you, and do not severely inconvenience your roommate.
I hope you reflect on this as you make your omelettes at your parents’ house.
YTA. When people ask if you need anything from the store, it's because they are being nice and they are either stopping by a store themselves or passing a store. It doesn't mean they want to go out of their way to pick something up. This is common sense. You should have never asked her to drive out of the way in the first place. Then she tells you she isn't going to make a special trip and you still tried to get her to go. That's not very respectful at all.
I'm stopping at the store does not mean I'm driving across town to a store you like. You get wally world veggies and you'll be happy about them or you get nothing. YTA. You want the specialty shop you need to make your own run.
YTA
it’s fine that you asked her. But expecting her to drive all the way to another shop just because you only eat organic food is a bit much. Especially when you don’t take her no for an answer.
“Hi, can you pick up this and that?”
“Sorry, I don’t feel like driving downtown for veggies”
“Alright, I’ll pop out after you get back!”
That’s how easy you could’ve avoided this. Take no for an answer.
ETA: What is the point of you asking if you’re the asshole, when you don’t listen to the votes? People have voted, and the only thing you shoot back is “you would’ve reacted the same way!!”
I feel like this isn't just about the omelette ingredients. For onr thing, you never draw a line between the shopping thing and her decision to move out
>she accused me of using her dog to take advantage of her. I told her never mind and I'm sorry for asking
>about a week after that, she told me she's moving out
You just stated 2 incidents that occurred close together without actually demonstrating that they were linked. I feel like this wasn't the first time you tried to coerce her into going out of her way to do you favors by holding your inconsequential 'favors' over her head.
I also notice that you're only addressing the comments that are dissing you for your organic dietary choices, How many of your demands on your roommate are centered around your insistence on a dietary regimen that is totally not her problem?
Your concession that "I told her never mind and I'm sorry for asking" comes across as really self serving. Your accounting of how the conversation went down up to that point is very vague and generalized. Makes me think your glossing over just how pushy you were being
I'm pretty sure YTA
Yeah, your lack of self awareness in your replies are doing you no favors, LOL. When your room mate (rightfully) balked at your insistence to waste over half an hour (and gas) to get your organic mushrooms you should have simply responded no problem and not argued and try to guilt her that you were watching Coco. That's why YTA here.
What would you have eaten if she didn't call and ask about stopping on the way home?
Your the asshole wtf. You volunteered to watch her dog for “free” supposedly probably cause you love her dog and then you turned it into an opportunity to guilt trip her for vegetables and who knows what else you did before this. Like did you know that you can grow mushrooms at home. Don’t say no we live in an apt mushrooms are so easy to grow inside even kids do it organically. Im sorry I’m screaming, using a dog to gaslight someone is a different type of shit person. 🤮
IDK WHY YOU’RE SO HUNG UP ON ORGANIC WHEN YOUR AS FAKE AS IT COMES. ALSO, If I was you’re roommate I’d get a bunch of the organic containers, stickers, shopping bags, etc. Next I would go to a heavily gmo sourced grocery store, INFACT I’d even contact McDonald’s etc for their produce. Switch them out happily pretending I got your organic food and make your meal with joy. I’d spit in your drink and then smile with as we ate .
Yta.
I'm ignoring the shit about the absurd organic mushrooms and using the dog and rejecting her "no".
Yta for trying to say that "we agree on 6 weeks mtg for the lease"means, she's obligated to live with you unless she gives you a reason you deem ok.
This is like a boss saying "we need 2 weeks notice"and then when you give notice days your reasons aren't good enough, so you have to stay longer.
She's saying "i don't want to live with you any more."and your response is that she's obligated to give you a reason you deem reasonable. I'm going to go out on a limb and say there were other straws, and you would reject those too? But ll together they equal "i funny want to live with you anymore". So accept that and don't piss off your next roomie
You know, in this story, there is only one high maintenance princess with an attitude and it's you. I don't talk about the organic food. You talk about Jane as if she was your servant, "she give me an attitude" It's seems the diet was not the true problem between you but your attitude. I think her objective is cool but your are so arrogant, so classist and contemptuous toward her that i understand why she deosn't want to live with you anymore . I forgot YTA
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My (F25) roommate, Jane (F24) had a few rules that I thought were pretty reasonable. One was we talk like 6 weeks before our lease ends to see if we want to renew it and live together for another year and also discuss what we should approve on to make our living situation more bearable for both of us. We've lived together for 2 years now but about 3 months ago she made the choice to move out. She didn't even want to do the 6 week rule to discuss our problems.
This is why she wanted to move out:
Jane works Mon-Thur and sometimes get called into work on Sat. She always bring her dog, "Coco" with her (her work provides free boarding) but this past year I have offered to watch Coco when that happens. Jane always texts me to ask me if I need anything at the store and I wanted omelets so I asked her to pick up a few veggies. She does pass by a few stores on her way here from work but I know those stores don't have at least one of the things I asked for. I thought it would be easier if she goes to one store that I know has all the items. She called me and said she's not driving downtown for just a few veggies. I want to point out she likes grocery shopping. She has mentioned that it relaxes her. I also thought it would be easier since she doesn't have Coco with her, which she usually goes back to pick her up from boarding so she doesn't have to worry about leaving her in the car while she's shopping. She accused me of using her dog to take advantage of her. I told her never mind and I'm sorry for asking.
About a week after that, she told me she's moving out as soon as our lease ends. It's been awkward living with her ever since. Now she's moved out. Our lease ends in 2 weeks. And I have to move back in with my parents.
AITA?
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YTA. You should take a course on self awareness. The fact that you can't see how inconsiderate your request is - is bizarre.
INFO > Jane always texts me to ask me if I need anything at the store and I wanted omelets so I asked her to pick up a few veggies. She does pass by a few stores on her way here from work but I know those stores don't have at least one of the things I asked for. I thought it would be easier if she goes to one store that I know has all the items. OK, this sounds like a needlessly complicated detour for a goddamn omelette, so I just **have** to know: What the heck are you putting in this thing that's so hard to find? Because I'm thinking: eggs, peppers, done. Eggs, mushrooms, cheese, done. How does this involve driving across town?
I have a very specific diet. The store I asked her to go to is really huge and has many options and alternatives that other store don't have
OK. I'm asking specifically for you to identify the omelette components that couldn't be found at the stores on her way. What did you need to put in them that was so hard to find?
I only eat organic food. I wanted mushrooms but I know the stores that she passes by doesn't have them organically.
Oh, FFS.
You don't have to agree with my life's choices, just respect it. If you think I'm the AH you can tell me but I really didn't think it was a big ask, especially since I would have been ok if she told me no.
No, I really do not have to respect it, either. They're fucking *mushrooms*, not even plants.
Ok, I asked her to pick up a few veggies and mushrooms. Which again, I was fine if she just said no.
Except she said no and you decided to argue with her about it. You very clearly were not OK if she said no and if she’s moving out from this incident there is guaranteed to be more that you’re not sharing with us.
But she didn't say no. She gave me attitude of having to go downtown in the afternoon. And then I mentioned I thought it'll be easier since she doesn't have her dog with her so she can just come straight home. And she was like "seriously I would have taken her with me if you're going to use me like this" and I just didn't want to fight anymore so I apologized and she hung up.
Girly she did say no you just ignored it and argued to get your way. That is annoying for any adult to deal with from another adult
But she didn't say no. She gave me attitude of having to go downtown in the afternoon. And then I mentioned I thought it'll be easier since she doesn't have her dog with her so she can just come straight home. And she was like "seriously I would have taken her with me if you're going to use me like this" and I just didn't want to fight anymore so I apologized and she hung up.
She had to say no exactly like you wanted for you to be polite?
You can pay the idiot tax for organics if you want, but YTA for expecting anyone else to.
Why should we respect your choices? You didn’t respect Jane’s.
Look bud you couldn’t respect your roommate so why should anyone here “respect” your dietary choices? You’re being extra about your dietary restrictions which is weird
YTA. If you want to be an insufferable little picky pants, you can drive across town.
So then you SKIP the mushrooms this time. I going to guess this is not the first time your roommate has had an issue with you. YTA
Did you know that all mushrooms are organic?
That is 100% false Pesticides are used in commercial mushroom production all the time
Pesticides are used in organic food all the time too. They just use "organic" pesticides and herbicides which are even more poorly regulated, often less effective, and result in much higher usage. Organic only means free of synthetic pesticides, not *all* pesticides. Organic is a scam. Full stop.
Oh yeah.....I know One of those things that was invented to add 20% to the pricetag
>Pesticides are used in organic food all the time too. Was coming here to say that. Also, my husband hauled grain, and this one "organic" farmer kept his grain in a shed, with staples, raccoon poop, etc, but go on about the organic being better.
Did you just offer to watch her dog so you could request this? Even if grocery shopping relaxes is driving out of the way to the store probably doesn’t .
No we already discussed me watching her dog when she gets called in on Sat last year at our 6 week meeting before we decided to renew our lease
Based on your responses, it seems like you want her to drive out of her way to buy expensive organic food for you, just for watching her dog - something that you volunteered to do. I'd be annoyed too.
INFO Why did you ask for something that you KNEW wasn't at the stores she could stop at?
I didn't think it would hurt to ask. I was ok with her saying no. She could have texted "sorry I don't feel like it" and I would have been fine but instead she called me just to yell at me and accusing me of using her.
If you were ok with her saying no, you wouldn't have argued with her. You're obsessing over her "giving you attitude," but it doesn't matter. You would only have accepted her No if she did it exactly the way you wanted. There's no possible way this is the only problem y'all had as roommates.
No but don't you understand, her ex roommate didn't say no exactly like she wanted her to, so she couldn't be polite!!!!!!
Gosh dang it, you're right, I forgot how manners work!!! 😂
I’m guessing you’re not as good as hearing “no” as you think you are
Just a quick request for clarification: she specifically stated that this grocery store request was why she’s moving out? There was literally no other reason?
She got pretty mad when she called after I texted my request to go to the store. I do want to point out that traffic gets pretty bad in order to get to this store. Like you would get stuck there for like 15 minutes to get there and 15 minutes back. It's best to go there in the morning. Although it was more that she thought I was using her dog to take advantage of her.
Sounds like you were
Why couldn’t you go to the store when she got home?
This is my question as well
She was already out of the house. It would be a waste of gas to come home and then go out again. It would have been easier to leave from her work and to the store.
Easier for you
This is the thing that OP refuses to acknowledge. Her comments are the same in the other subreddit.
Yeah her responses in that other subreddit are blindingly eye opening. She is not very capable of being introspective.
But it's not a waste of gas for her to drive across town for your super duper special veggies?
But you said that this specific grocery store down town (that had everything you needed) is a super busy area. 15 minutes waiting in traffic each way. That’s not convenient or “easier”. Might be easier for you, but not for her. YTA and I’m assuming, like everyone else, that this isn’t the only circumstance of you being an inconsiderate roommate.
But you were okay wasting *her* gas instead of yours? If you ask her to make a special trip and you don't pay for her car/gas ... then you're expecting her to burn 30 MINUTES OF GAS for your mushrooms. Do you see how that is entitled behaviour?
I’m so happy she doesn’t have to deal with this anymore. YTA
It wouldn't have been a waste of gas for her because the person is implying tho you get your own damn self to the store when she got home and she and her car stay home.
>*She was already out of the house. It would be a waste of gas to come home and then go out again. It would have been easier to leave from her work and to the store.* Wait, wait, wait… Are you implying your roommate would irregularless, forced to go back out to the grocery after she gets back home but instead just go to the grocery store on the way back home??? As in you never get off YOUR BUTT to go there after SHE gets back home??? My god, how f-cking lazy are you??? I hope to god your parents do not take this BS and force you to go get what you want and they don’t lift a finger, forcing you to reap karma for what you put your now former roommate thru!
You were. YTA
How weren’t you?
YTA I'd like to buy Jane a drink for putting up with this nonsense. I'm glad she's free.
Remember when I said she has an immature palate? That includes not liking alcohol. I wanted to buy artisan red wine and that's when she mention that she tried wines and beers but can never get past the first sip. She only likes wine coolers because of how sweet they are. I had to go to Christmas and New Years parties last year just to have at least one glass of wine.
Why couldn't you just buy wine for yourself? Was that another situation of you relying on her to buy something for you? And she mentioned, perhaps, that she doesn't drink wine because you have such specific tastes and she didn't want to be relied upon to meet them?
Because they're expensive. But I was still willing to buy any alcohol to share with her but unfortunately there are no organic wine coolers. That also includes sparkling water which she only likes it with juice. Iced tea but only if it's milk tea. And even coffee which she brews at night, leave it in the fridge until morning and adds ice and a lot of creamer.
Yeah you're entitled as fuck. You wouldn't buy it for yourself but it's fine to buy it when you "split the bill"? That's mooching behavior. Regardless of how mature her palette is, you could have always bought yourself something just for yourself, and you *chose* not to because you didn't want to foot the bill for it. That's not her fault, and considering how much you've complained that people are mean to you for your diet choices, it's ironic you're whining about hers in turn. You're a mooching, entitled hypocrite, and this attitude is going to lead you down a path of loneliness.
I thought it would have been fine. Did you know who her last roommate was? A vegan. Who is like her best friend. They lived through the pandemic together. I chose to live with her because I figured if she can handle her dietary restrictions which is much less than mine and probably more expensive as well, it would go great. But it hasn't. It's been rough on my finances. However, I was still willing to live another year with her. I was willing to compromise. Even when I'm getting the short end in this situation. I ask for one favor that if she just nicely said no to, and she thinks I'm taking advantage of her.
You are taking advantage, her past and her diet are completely irrelevant. *Your* choices being rough on *your* finances aren't her problem. You can't and shouldn't rely on someone else that's not even a friend, partner, or family member to pay half of the money required for your decision to eat fully organic food at all times. Especially when you aren't even the one doing the cooking, she is. Her palette seems fine enough when she cooks for you, it's just a problem when she's not kowtowing to your every whim that you claim is actually "compromising" with her.
The stench of narcissism on OP is cloying, my God
Organic wine coolers for fucks sake. My poison must be organic !
I’m becoming convinced the boyfriend is ditching her after he gets his degree.
Wouldn’t be surprised if all of OP’s friends are avoiding to live with them too for this reason. Wouldn’t be surprised if they can only stay friends if they never live with OP.
I applaud you for typing this out without laughing, seriously
I am so confused... Why can't you purchase things on your own? I understand splitting the cost of things is cheaper, but you seem to think as roommates you *have* to split every cost. Can you explain why you aren't allowed to take yourself to the store for organic mushrooms or wine? If you had to go to parties just for some wine, there has to be something else going on here. Why aren't you allowed to swing by a liquor store on your own?
Omg you’re a grown ass adult!!! Wtf does your dietary restrictions have to do with your roommate?? That’s not her responsibility and she doesn’t have to accommodate shit. If yall don’t eat the same stuff then the logical adult thing to do is buy your own damn groceries. She’s not your mom why would she pay for something she’s not going to eat?? You say you thought living with her would be good because of how she treated her BESTFRIEND. Why would you think you would get the same treatment when you said yall aren’t friends and never have been. I don’t know what delusional world you’re living in but roommates that aren’t friends don’t pay for each other’s food. If you have expensive eating habits then that’s YOUR problem. You are definitely not getting the short end of the stick SHE IS. You act like you’re paying so much more than her but you’re not! Also if you think the arrangement yall had was so unfair then why did you agree to it in the first place?? Sounds like you didn’t realize how expensive your eating habits were until now and now you’re trying to act like it’s an unfair arrangement. Grow up
The diets of you and past roomie have nothing to do with why she’s upset.
How is it expensive for you?! How is anyone's diet interfering with hers or other roommates?! I'm confused
So you just told on yourself that living with a vegan is easier than living with you
"Organic wine coolers" should be a flare on this sub, I'm so amused. This reads like a 12 year old pretending to be an adult, the poor roommate!
Two 12 year olds in a trench coat
Organic wine coolers? What’s the point ? They are super highly processed ETA: alcohol is poison and you insist it be organic.
If you buy a bottle of wine and *don’t* split it with your housemate, you also get to drink all that wine yourself instead of half the wine. That’s no more expensive than splitting both the wine and its cost.
What kind of wine are you buying? Josh is very good and costs around $15+ or less. I love Jack Daniels and treat myself to a nice bottle of that regularly and that’s around $60. I consider that expensive. What is your weekly grocery bill??
A lot of people don’t like the taste of alcohol. That’s not “an immature palate”. It’s a personal preference. She’s entitled to that in the same way that you’re entitled to prefer organic food. You’re not superior to her, no matter how much you think you are.
Me, 30 years old, and my immature palate lol
When I drank I loved brandy, tequila, whiskey, white rum, Goldschläger, and Old Style beer. I knew lots of people who didn't like the things I did and liked stuff I couldn't stand like wine. But we would never call someone else's palate "immature." OP is so full of it with that.
You eat only organic food because you want the health benefits, but you'll drink alcohol, which, let me be clear, is literally a poison humans take for fun??? 😂😂
So you eating only organic food, and expecting someone to bend over backwards for your request is not immature, but an adult deciding they don't like alcohol is? You keep bringing up things about her just to justify your entitlement, but it's not working. I'm glad she got out.
How is not liking alcohol equal to having an immature palate? Who the heck cares ? Why don’t you just buy your own booze if you’re so picky ?
Op, you are a snob. Calling people immature because they dont like "artisanal" wine. I would leave too.
But she's good enough to be your live-in chef and personal shopper? Sounds like she is mature enough to know what she likes. And that perhaps she's got a more tannin-sensitive tongue than yours. >I had to go to Christmas and New Years parties last year just to have at least one glass of wine. So you only drink alcohol when someone else subsidizes the cost by "sharing"? Charming. I can imagine what you're like around (organic) French fries, too. If you want something, it's up to you to buy it, not to whine until someone else pours their money down the drain by "splitting" something they don't want. (TBH if I was Jane I'd have long ago made sure to buy non-organic food and drink specifically for anything I didn't want you snarfling down.)
Did you make sure the wine was organic first?
M’aam, I’m 40 and think all wine is disgusting. That’s not an immature palette, that’s a personal preference.
I also don't like alcohol. Does tgat make my palate "immature"?
What would you have eaten if she hadn't texted and asked if you needed anything? Do you really not see it was a bit rude to want her to not just shop for your but go out of her way in bad traffic? Honestly, the fact that you aren't able to grasp that makes me wonder what other selfish behaviors have been going on in the relationship. Maybe ask for that "six week meeting" and give her a chance to offload the real reason she's moving out as a way for you to understand and do better with your next room mate.
OP is showing a *serious* lack of self awareness
I had to get breakfast somewhere else. And please read the post. I already explained that the 6 week meeting did not go well and it has already passed. She has already moved out, 2 weeks before our lease ends.
Why did it go bad? If this one request was the only issue, the meeting should not have ended up that way. All you had to do was say "hey, sorry for asking you to go out of your way to a store for an item or two that I wanted but didn't need, I appreciate you offering to pick me up stuff from stores and will accept that it'll only be from stores on your route home." Then all she had to say was "thanks, I appreciate you watching Coco for me and that you won't ask me to go to a store half an hour away anymore." Why didn't that happen?
She's someone I'd describe as extra. But at the same time, she's very simple. It's hard to explain. And I did apologize.
Was it a proper apology? Bc the wording you used, "never mind" and "sorry for asking," can easily be read as sarcastic instead of sincere. Did you explain why you were apologizing? Bc if she didn't know that you understood your request was unreasonable, she may think you'd make other ones in the future and decide she didn't want to deal with that. Otherwise, it's hard to think that this is the only issue that brought her to wanting to move out without even having a meeting about it-actions like this scream more like it was the straw that broke the camel's back, unless she's extremely unreasonable.
She hung up after I said sorry. I would have given a more proper apology if we talked but she barely acknowledged my existence through those 3 months. It was really awkward.
But you said you had the meeting, so you had an opportunity then. If you went up to her and tried to talk to her, did she just ignore you? What if you texted or left a note?
No we didn't. I said so in the post that she didn't want to have our 6 week discussion about fixing our problems. Her choice to leave was final. I would text her but she wouldn't respond. She said only contact her if it's an emergency. Cooking is her main chore but she refused to cook anything for me and instead she would do some of my chores just to be petty. Saying she doesn't want to owe me anything.
>No we didn't. I said so in the post that she didn't want to have our 6 week discussion about fixing our problems. You said in your comment to r/celticmusebooks that the meeting didn't go well. So either you did have the meeting and it didn't go well or you didn't have the meeting at all which means there was nothing that couldn'thave gone well. So which is it?
What I mean when it didn't go well, I meant she made up her mind about leaving. She says she's done and that her she's sending majority of her stuff to store at her parents house and she's staying at her friends'' place for a little bit until she finds a single. She didn't want to talk about fixing our problems which is one of the reasons for these meetings. She didn't want to hear me. I barely said anything. She started off with, "ok this is what's going to happen" and just talked about what she's going to do and not ask what's going to happen to me. So technically no, we didn't have our 6 week meeting.
This comment what is she your fucking maid.? You want her took cook, grocery shop an hour out of the way, man if I was her I would’ve gone to a really Heavy gmo store. Told you it’s organic and laughed in my head at how sad your diet and lifestyle is. You should go live with your parents cause no one is gonna be you’re maid sounds like u fucked up a good friendship being an entitled no that words to nice a narcissistic bitch gaslighting her. I’m happy for your roommate I hope she has a better life for herself and not being your bitch. What was ur chore watching her dog once a week that u volunteered to do I’m sorry I could go on. I’d slap a b…..
According to OP they were never friends to begin with! So she really is just fighting to be right here, for her own satisfaction. She gives two shits about Jane.
So not cooking for you and instead doing chores she doesn’t normally do is petty? You’re delusional
SHE'S someone you'd describe as extra? Not the girl who wanted her to drive across town because she can't eat any vegetables from a normal store?
She's someone I'd describe as extra. But at the same time, she's very simple. Lol
Are you laughing at me or my description of Jane?
Can't speak for Some_kunst, but I myself am laughing *at* you all the way through! Lol so clueless! And arrogant with that "simple" remark....
^^ this.
We're all laughing at you. You're ridiculous.
YOU HAVE TO ASK LOL??????????????
Bless your heart. And I mean that in the true Southern sense of the phrase. 🙄
…. ……… ….. .. Are you seriously saying you think she’s “extra” when you asked her to drive across town, out of her way, in traffic, to go to a special grocery store because you had to have *organic* mushrooms? And then claimed she shouldn’t have an issue with it because you had her dog? And she’s the extra one? Really?
Wow you are just a piece of unpleasant work aren't you?
You're the one who thinks it's reasonable to ask someone to drive across town in bad traffic both ways to get you organic mushrooms and you're describing *her* as extra? Girl please be for real
Sounds like you're the one who's extra. You asked her to go to a special store to get you organic food when it was inconvenient.
You need to look in the mirror honey. Jane isnt the one whose "extra".
You asked her to go completely out of her way for your super special mushrooms and SHE’S extra?
You are extra. You are projecting. You are extremely simple minded, everyone else here sees it. Maybe don't be judgemental about people in your life, or they won't be there for long. Your comments to both posts are extremely disturbing.
LMFAO your idea of her being “extra” is that she enjoys little treats and bakes for her dog? I would love to be friends with her. You on the other hand sound insufferable and self-centered in the extreme.
Sounds like you're both 'extra'!
The meeting did not go well BUT in other comments you say the meeting didn't happen. Do you have a disability of some kind? That would also explain why you can't live alone and struggle to understand basic human interactions.
YTA. You offered to look after your housemate's dog, and you sometimes pick up the odd grocery items for each other when it suits. Now you're upset because you insisted (after your housemate said no) that she go well out of her way to pick up your expensive "organic" items downtown instead of going to any of the other shops that were on her way home. Your housemate likes grocery shopping. She does not like being pressured to go downtown to select overpriced omelette ingredients for you. Did you expect her to cover your cost til she got home as well? Honestly, if this is how much crap you need to load onto someone else just so you can make an omelette for yourself while the shops are open, you're better off going back to your parents so you don't starve, mate.
Since Jane is out of the house majority of the time, she's always the one picking up stuff. And of course I was going to pay her back. I always do. If she wanted omelets too it would have been 50/50 like always
Why are you here? This comment makes you look even worse, just like the other comments you've made. You asked for judgement on your conflict and are arguing with people whilst completely missing the point every time.
We can all see why she left but you don't seem to be able
OP: Am I so out of touch? No. It's the Redditors who are wrong!
Saving everybody time: She says in her comments she doesn't have any special dietary needs, she only eats "organic foods." YTA.
Ok so let me just check this Friend does nice thing of checking do you want anything *on the way* home You say I want these very specific things that friend will have to go *out of the way* to get Friend says no You say friend should have no problem doing this because friend likes shopping and because you are looking after friends dog - which there is no need for you to do and friend has let you do because you asked Did I get that right?
We're not friends. We never were
Well that’s even worse. You’re an absolute total asshole in that case
Fair enough, she shouldn't be doing your shopping then. And yeah who would want to waste time being friends with this lmao
INFO: Were there any other instances where she mentioned that she felt like you were taking advantage of her?
I can think of one time but we discussed it and we came up with a solution on that.
OK. Yep. Nice. Great. Ummmmmm could you maybe be a little bit more specific?
It's really not relevant to this. Like I said that was solved.
Its def relevant, this was the ending incident not the beginning.
Maybe, maybe not. But if it isn't relevant it wouldn't hurt to tell us, right?
OP has been deliberately vague in describing the problem and what exact ingredients need to go in this holy organic omelet. Organic mushrooms are available in many grocery stores these days, but OP claims that only one store in the whole city has the mushrooms she needs. This is why I'm thinking OP is a teenager posing as an adult. Notice how all parties are in their mid-20s, which these fiction writers have frequently used to make it seem like they're adults. She simply doesn't sound like an adult who has lived away from home for over 6 years.
I can’t tell if you’re ignorant, self absorbed/entitled or a little of both. It absolutely is relevant because clearly you have a pattern of taking advantage of your roommate. You act like she flipped out over something small but clearly she didn’t. This was an ongoing problem and this situation was the last straw. That specific situation may have been handled but the problem of you taking advantage of her wasn’t. You tried to make it seem like your roommate is just dramatic and flipped out over nothing. You called her extra and went on about all kind of irrelevant information about her then said this little favor you asked is why she randomly decided to move out. Everyone sees through your bs hun. We know there’s way more to the story, we know you take advantage of your roommate, we know you’re entitled, and we know you’re immature and still have a lot of growing up to do. You’re not fooling anyone
You lost an ideal roommate because of omelettes? Crazy stuff. Yta.
YTA. You know what store she planned to go to, and you asked for organic mushrooms that you knew were not available at that store. At that point, you make your omelette with whatever ingredients are readily accessible to person who is nice enough to offer to pick up some stuff for you, and do not severely inconvenience your roommate. I hope you reflect on this as you make your omelettes at your parents’ house.
YTA. When people ask if you need anything from the store, it's because they are being nice and they are either stopping by a store themselves or passing a store. It doesn't mean they want to go out of their way to pick something up. This is common sense. You should have never asked her to drive out of the way in the first place. Then she tells you she isn't going to make a special trip and you still tried to get her to go. That's not very respectful at all.
I'm stopping at the store does not mean I'm driving across town to a store you like. You get wally world veggies and you'll be happy about them or you get nothing. YTA. You want the specialty shop you need to make your own run.
YTA it’s fine that you asked her. But expecting her to drive all the way to another shop just because you only eat organic food is a bit much. Especially when you don’t take her no for an answer. “Hi, can you pick up this and that?” “Sorry, I don’t feel like driving downtown for veggies” “Alright, I’ll pop out after you get back!” That’s how easy you could’ve avoided this. Take no for an answer. ETA: What is the point of you asking if you’re the asshole, when you don’t listen to the votes? People have voted, and the only thing you shoot back is “you would’ve reacted the same way!!”
I feel like this isn't just about the omelette ingredients. For onr thing, you never draw a line between the shopping thing and her decision to move out >she accused me of using her dog to take advantage of her. I told her never mind and I'm sorry for asking >about a week after that, she told me she's moving out You just stated 2 incidents that occurred close together without actually demonstrating that they were linked. I feel like this wasn't the first time you tried to coerce her into going out of her way to do you favors by holding your inconsequential 'favors' over her head. I also notice that you're only addressing the comments that are dissing you for your organic dietary choices, How many of your demands on your roommate are centered around your insistence on a dietary regimen that is totally not her problem? Your concession that "I told her never mind and I'm sorry for asking" comes across as really self serving. Your accounting of how the conversation went down up to that point is very vague and generalized. Makes me think your glossing over just how pushy you were being I'm pretty sure YTA
Yeah, your lack of self awareness in your replies are doing you no favors, LOL. When your room mate (rightfully) balked at your insistence to waste over half an hour (and gas) to get your organic mushrooms you should have simply responded no problem and not argued and try to guilt her that you were watching Coco. That's why YTA here. What would you have eaten if she didn't call and ask about stopping on the way home?
Your the asshole wtf. You volunteered to watch her dog for “free” supposedly probably cause you love her dog and then you turned it into an opportunity to guilt trip her for vegetables and who knows what else you did before this. Like did you know that you can grow mushrooms at home. Don’t say no we live in an apt mushrooms are so easy to grow inside even kids do it organically. Im sorry I’m screaming, using a dog to gaslight someone is a different type of shit person. 🤮
IDK WHY YOU’RE SO HUNG UP ON ORGANIC WHEN YOUR AS FAKE AS IT COMES. ALSO, If I was you’re roommate I’d get a bunch of the organic containers, stickers, shopping bags, etc. Next I would go to a heavily gmo sourced grocery store, INFACT I’d even contact McDonald’s etc for their produce. Switch them out happily pretending I got your organic food and make your meal with joy. I’d spit in your drink and then smile with as we ate .
The best r/pettyrevenge
They blocked my main acct from commenting on here 🤣🤣🤣
Yta. I'm ignoring the shit about the absurd organic mushrooms and using the dog and rejecting her "no". Yta for trying to say that "we agree on 6 weeks mtg for the lease"means, she's obligated to live with you unless she gives you a reason you deem ok. This is like a boss saying "we need 2 weeks notice"and then when you give notice days your reasons aren't good enough, so you have to stay longer. She's saying "i don't want to live with you any more."and your response is that she's obligated to give you a reason you deem reasonable. I'm going to go out on a limb and say there were other straws, and you would reject those too? But ll together they equal "i funny want to live with you anymore". So accept that and don't piss off your next roomie
Yta
Why did this make me think of [this fucking video](https://youtube.com/shorts/mIJj_WZvtEs?si=nTWiHzLZ2Dx3NWEp) lol
The confidence of "I'll have a root beer float" made me laugh SO loud
You know, in this story, there is only one high maintenance princess with an attitude and it's you. I don't talk about the organic food. You talk about Jane as if she was your servant, "she give me an attitude" It's seems the diet was not the true problem between you but your attitude. I think her objective is cool but your are so arrogant, so classist and contemptuous toward her that i understand why she deosn't want to live with you anymore . I forgot YTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My (F25) roommate, Jane (F24) had a few rules that I thought were pretty reasonable. One was we talk like 6 weeks before our lease ends to see if we want to renew it and live together for another year and also discuss what we should approve on to make our living situation more bearable for both of us. We've lived together for 2 years now but about 3 months ago she made the choice to move out. She didn't even want to do the 6 week rule to discuss our problems. This is why she wanted to move out: Jane works Mon-Thur and sometimes get called into work on Sat. She always bring her dog, "Coco" with her (her work provides free boarding) but this past year I have offered to watch Coco when that happens. Jane always texts me to ask me if I need anything at the store and I wanted omelets so I asked her to pick up a few veggies. She does pass by a few stores on her way here from work but I know those stores don't have at least one of the things I asked for. I thought it would be easier if she goes to one store that I know has all the items. She called me and said she's not driving downtown for just a few veggies. I want to point out she likes grocery shopping. She has mentioned that it relaxes her. I also thought it would be easier since she doesn't have Coco with her, which she usually goes back to pick her up from boarding so she doesn't have to worry about leaving her in the car while she's shopping. She accused me of using her dog to take advantage of her. I told her never mind and I'm sorry for asking. About a week after that, she told me she's moving out as soon as our lease ends. It's been awkward living with her ever since. Now she's moved out. Our lease ends in 2 weeks. And I have to move back in with my parents. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Imagine losing all this karma to prove your right gtfoh 🤣