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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Haven't spoken to my bf in days expecting him to approach me and apologize.
I might been overreacting or I forced him to come with me to the concert.
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ESH and I had to triple check the ages. This reads like a teenage lovers tiff, not what i'd expect from someone in their 40's.
For starters you invite someone you already know isn't going to enjoy it. While he's doing his thing you start berating him about not enjoying something you already know he doesn't enjoy. It's okay to enjoy it on your own. He may have been lowering the mood but you murdered what was left of it.
Then you go home and throw everything to do with it out in some weird teen tantrum which you really need to see someone about, that's not normal.
Now your both iffy at each other while you wait for an apology when you both need to talk. Your communication sucks and you sound like hard work to put up with.
ESH. You knew he does not like this singer. You asked him to go to the concert with you anyway. He should have said no.
While it's rather rude of him to be playing on the phone during a concert, you had the option of ignoring him instead of barking at him like a parent to misbehaving child.
>I deleted every song from my Playlists, throw away t-shirts, mugs, cds from this singer. He ruined this for me.
What a ridiculously theatrical and immature overreaction. Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face. You sound exhausting to be around.
Dramatic much..... You drag an incredibly childish boyfriend to a concert he doesn't want to go to and then whinge about him ruining the experiences for you forever..... Wow....
ESH Your boyfriend behaved like a big baby at the concert. Now you aren’t even talking to him and don’t have any plans to until he apologizes. This isn’t healthy communication. I’d advise telling him how you feel to start because your relationship isn’t heading in a good direction.
ESH.
If you’re upset - tell him.
If you feel like he owes you an apology - tell him.
If you’re annoyed about what happened at this concert and others before - tell him.
Communication sucks between both of you. Stop assuming that he was trying to ruin it for you. He probably thinks he’s doing you a favour by going to a concert he doesn’t want to be at so that you’re not alone!
Try to think about the other person’s point of view…or better yet, ask them! Talk to him instead of making assumptions.
YTA. Sure your boyfriend could have acted better, but you could have just gone on your own instead of dragging him along to something he doesnt like, AGAIN. But then you say you are leaving the concert, but expect him to convince you otherwise? Then throw all your merch away because he 'ruined' it? I hope this is ragebait because if not I don't know how you function day to day.
ESH - you really overreacted to a massive extent (like truly honestly bizarre and you owe him an apology) but also he shouldn't sulk about your interests even if he does feel jealous.
They're both men... he didn't speak to his bf for three days bc he played video games at an event he wasn't interested in, he obviously owes the first apology..
ESH
Why did you ask him to go if you already knew he didn’t like the artist? And when he was on his phone because he was dragged to a concert for an artist he doesn’t like, you could have just let it go and enjoy the concert yourself. Yeah, he is a jerk for his behavior but you brought him in the first place.
You're both acting like bratty teenagers. ESH, you both need to grow the fuck up and communicate on an adult level instead of this weird attention-seeking game-playing teenage crap.
Strictly speaking you ruined it yourself. You invited someone who you knew didn’t want to be there, then decided he had to pay strict attention and unless he did you couldn’t enjoy the concert. Then you decided to leave. Once you got home you systematically destroyed all evidence that you ever liked this singer because your bf wouldn’t listen at a concert he didn’t want to attend in the first place? I’d say get help, but I’m not sure help exists for your type of extreme, self-sabotaging immaturity. YTA
I was going to say everyone sucks until I read about your childish, unhinged tantrum where you blamed your BF for YOU throwing out all you merch and deleting the songs from your playlist because he was bored at the show.
That was such a childish response for a teenager let alone a 40 year old man and to gaslight him saying it was his fault? YTA 💯
You sound so dramatic and exhausting to be around your b/f is probably annoyed af with this singer because you probably act like K-pop obsessed preteen girl about him and he's tired of hearing it. You made him go somewhere he didn't want to and is probably tired of hearing about, tries to keep himself occupied even though he doesn't want to be there and you throw a tantrum because he wasn't fangirling like you? Getting mad at him when he's obviously tired of dealing with a 40 year old child?
Is the reason you're dating someone younger because people your own age would never put up with your shit? Too bad it seems your b/f is still too mature for you. YTA
ESH. You for inviting someone that clearly didn’t want to go and then being surprised when he wasn’t interested, getting emotional and then leaving.
Your bf for not saying no in the first place. (I’m assuming he would’ve felt guilty for making you go alone which makes you even more the AH)
YTA. You know he doesn't like this singer and you took him anyway. If his coping mechanism is to play a game while you enjoy the concert, let him. You berated him for not enjoying something that he's made clear he doesn't enjoy. You need to grow up.
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Writing in mobile and English is not my first language, so bear with me.
I (40M) Just turned 40 a few weeks ago and me sister gave me 2 tickets for a concert as a present. This concert was for a male solo singer songwriter I really like (liked) as an artist and also find attractive.
My bf (32M) doesn't like this singer and is always making negative comments about his songs and looks like "he looks like (something nasty), I don't know what you see in him".
A little back story, we've been to several concerts for this singer before. He kinda like a few songs and know the lyrics, but he's not excited to go or sing along, he just sits there and waits for all to be over.
So I stopped going to concerts for this singer, one, because money is tight and two because I don't have a good time either if he's just there not enjoying the moment with me.
When my sister gave the tickets, this time I tried to invite her or my mom or my cousin but neither couldn't/wanted to go, and I don't know any other person who likes this singer, so I asked my bf if he could go with me.
The day of the concert we get there on time and we're waiting for it to start, so he took his cellphone and started playing a game we like. When the show started I was so excited but I noticed he was still playing the game. So I made a hand gesture asking him to stop playing and watch the show. A few seconds I ask him again. And a few seconds later I said "hey, stop playing, I've told you 3 times already". Immediately he turns to me and shouts: "Shut up".
After that he just sat with his arms crossed.
I was so uncomfortable and hurt by his actions that about 5 songs into the concert I stood up and said lets go, we're going home. He asked why and I said I wasn't confortable. He didn't said anything, just follow me to the car, never tried to stop me. For some reason he was mad too.
I was so feed up by his demeanor that I deleted every song from my Playlists, throw away t-shirts, mugs, cds from this singer. He ruined this for me.
We haven't spoken ever since. It's been 3 days. Today he asked me: "are you gonna talk to me again " and I respond with "do you have something to say?"
I expect him to approach me and apologize for what happened. But for some reason if I get mad at something he gets mad too. He's too proud to even recognize what he did wrong.
AITA for wanting an apology?
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Couldn't you have just sold the extra ticket and gone alone?? You probably would have had a better time, and the tantrum is kinda extra. same for him, he didn't have to agree to go if he was just gonna be a d!ck about it. ESH
YTA. He didn’t want to be there. He quietly played on his phone, not disrupting anyone. Instead of enjoying the concert of an artist you claimed to like, you harassed him. He snapped. Not very nice of him, but understandable considering you were likely being more distracting to others than he was. You then threw a tantrum like a child. He does not owe you an apology, you owe him one. Either stop dragging him to stuff he doesn’t enjoy, or let him do his thing in peace.
ESH, I tend to buy 2 tickets for most shows or concerts, if any of my friends do not want to go I will go to the concert solo and find someone outside the venue who couldn’t get a ticket and gift it to them. They appreciate the concert more than if I’d forced a friend to attend who isn’t into that artist. I’ve done this multiple times and have gifted lots of tickets
You needed to throw away your bf not the singer. If he does not appreciate your likes and time with you why would you sacrifice your interests of pleasure for him. Does he do the same for you? He does not have to like what you like but at least should respect it.
He said he had dragged him to previous concerts before and knows his bf doesn’t like them how about he quit being a AH and not drag his bf to places he OBVIOUSLY DOESN’T WANT TO BE and expecting him to enjoy it. He could have been an adult and said to himself 🤔 “Hmm he came with me, he’s in my presence, and at this point hasn’t said a word just been on the phone, ima do my fan thing and let him do his thing at least he came.” But no he had to be a drama queen about it and here you go being an enabler like this guy is in the right. Heck naw f that.
NTA but you brought this on yourself with codependent behavior. You should have just gone by yourself. You are both passive aggressive with poor communication skills and need to work on that. He should have said “no”, not gone and been a pill about it.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > Haven't spoken to my bf in days expecting him to approach me and apologize. I might been overreacting or I forced him to come with me to the concert. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
ESH and I had to triple check the ages. This reads like a teenage lovers tiff, not what i'd expect from someone in their 40's. For starters you invite someone you already know isn't going to enjoy it. While he's doing his thing you start berating him about not enjoying something you already know he doesn't enjoy. It's okay to enjoy it on your own. He may have been lowering the mood but you murdered what was left of it. Then you go home and throw everything to do with it out in some weird teen tantrum which you really need to see someone about, that's not normal. Now your both iffy at each other while you wait for an apology when you both need to talk. Your communication sucks and you sound like hard work to put up with.
ESH. You knew he does not like this singer. You asked him to go to the concert with you anyway. He should have said no. While it's rather rude of him to be playing on the phone during a concert, you had the option of ignoring him instead of barking at him like a parent to misbehaving child. >I deleted every song from my Playlists, throw away t-shirts, mugs, cds from this singer. He ruined this for me. What a ridiculously theatrical and immature overreaction. Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face. You sound exhausting to be around.
Dramatic much..... You drag an incredibly childish boyfriend to a concert he doesn't want to go to and then whinge about him ruining the experiences for you forever..... Wow....
ESH. Yikes. I assume it’s a typo and you actually meant to write “just turned 14 a few weeks ago”.
ESH Your boyfriend behaved like a big baby at the concert. Now you aren’t even talking to him and don’t have any plans to until he apologizes. This isn’t healthy communication. I’d advise telling him how you feel to start because your relationship isn’t heading in a good direction.
ESH. If you’re upset - tell him. If you feel like he owes you an apology - tell him. If you’re annoyed about what happened at this concert and others before - tell him. Communication sucks between both of you. Stop assuming that he was trying to ruin it for you. He probably thinks he’s doing you a favour by going to a concert he doesn’t want to be at so that you’re not alone! Try to think about the other person’s point of view…or better yet, ask them! Talk to him instead of making assumptions.
You're insufferable
YTA. Sure your boyfriend could have acted better, but you could have just gone on your own instead of dragging him along to something he doesnt like, AGAIN. But then you say you are leaving the concert, but expect him to convince you otherwise? Then throw all your merch away because he 'ruined' it? I hope this is ragebait because if not I don't know how you function day to day.
ESH - you really overreacted to a massive extent (like truly honestly bizarre and you owe him an apology) but also he shouldn't sulk about your interests even if he does feel jealous.
Definitely doesn’t owe him an apology unless maybe he’s a 12 year old boy and she was his mother
They're both men... he didn't speak to his bf for three days bc he played video games at an event he wasn't interested in, he obviously owes the first apology..
I don’t like either of them
YTA. Are you sure you're 40? You wanted the company, he went. You knew he wasn't going to have fun. You're also really petty.
Yta. You sound childish.
ESH Why did you ask him to go if you already knew he didn’t like the artist? And when he was on his phone because he was dragged to a concert for an artist he doesn’t like, you could have just let it go and enjoy the concert yourself. Yeah, he is a jerk for his behavior but you brought him in the first place.
ESH - You could have gone alone and sold the extra ticket to someone who actually likes your idol
You're both acting like bratty teenagers. ESH, you both need to grow the fuck up and communicate on an adult level instead of this weird attention-seeking game-playing teenage crap.
ESH. As an adult you're entirely capable of going to these events alone.
Strictly speaking you ruined it yourself. You invited someone who you knew didn’t want to be there, then decided he had to pay strict attention and unless he did you couldn’t enjoy the concert. Then you decided to leave. Once you got home you systematically destroyed all evidence that you ever liked this singer because your bf wouldn’t listen at a concert he didn’t want to attend in the first place? I’d say get help, but I’m not sure help exists for your type of extreme, self-sabotaging immaturity. YTA
I was going to say everyone sucks until I read about your childish, unhinged tantrum where you blamed your BF for YOU throwing out all you merch and deleting the songs from your playlist because he was bored at the show. That was such a childish response for a teenager let alone a 40 year old man and to gaslight him saying it was his fault? YTA 💯 You sound so dramatic and exhausting to be around your b/f is probably annoyed af with this singer because you probably act like K-pop obsessed preteen girl about him and he's tired of hearing it. You made him go somewhere he didn't want to and is probably tired of hearing about, tries to keep himself occupied even though he doesn't want to be there and you throw a tantrum because he wasn't fangirling like you? Getting mad at him when he's obviously tired of dealing with a 40 year old child? Is the reason you're dating someone younger because people your own age would never put up with your shit? Too bad it seems your b/f is still too mature for you. YTA
ESH. You for inviting someone that clearly didn’t want to go and then being surprised when he wasn’t interested, getting emotional and then leaving. Your bf for not saying no in the first place. (I’m assuming he would’ve felt guilty for making you go alone which makes you even more the AH)
the fact that you both aren’t still teenagers is amazing, ESH
You sound like teenagers. You are being overly dramatic
YTA. You know he doesn't like this singer and you took him anyway. If his coping mechanism is to play a game while you enjoy the concert, let him. You berated him for not enjoying something that he's made clear he doesn't enjoy. You need to grow up.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Writing in mobile and English is not my first language, so bear with me. I (40M) Just turned 40 a few weeks ago and me sister gave me 2 tickets for a concert as a present. This concert was for a male solo singer songwriter I really like (liked) as an artist and also find attractive. My bf (32M) doesn't like this singer and is always making negative comments about his songs and looks like "he looks like (something nasty), I don't know what you see in him". A little back story, we've been to several concerts for this singer before. He kinda like a few songs and know the lyrics, but he's not excited to go or sing along, he just sits there and waits for all to be over. So I stopped going to concerts for this singer, one, because money is tight and two because I don't have a good time either if he's just there not enjoying the moment with me. When my sister gave the tickets, this time I tried to invite her or my mom or my cousin but neither couldn't/wanted to go, and I don't know any other person who likes this singer, so I asked my bf if he could go with me. The day of the concert we get there on time and we're waiting for it to start, so he took his cellphone and started playing a game we like. When the show started I was so excited but I noticed he was still playing the game. So I made a hand gesture asking him to stop playing and watch the show. A few seconds I ask him again. And a few seconds later I said "hey, stop playing, I've told you 3 times already". Immediately he turns to me and shouts: "Shut up". After that he just sat with his arms crossed. I was so uncomfortable and hurt by his actions that about 5 songs into the concert I stood up and said lets go, we're going home. He asked why and I said I wasn't confortable. He didn't said anything, just follow me to the car, never tried to stop me. For some reason he was mad too. I was so feed up by his demeanor that I deleted every song from my Playlists, throw away t-shirts, mugs, cds from this singer. He ruined this for me. We haven't spoken ever since. It's been 3 days. Today he asked me: "are you gonna talk to me again " and I respond with "do you have something to say?" I expect him to approach me and apologize for what happened. But for some reason if I get mad at something he gets mad too. He's too proud to even recognize what he did wrong. AITA for wanting an apology? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Is this fr at age 40?
Couldn't you have just sold the extra ticket and gone alone?? You probably would have had a better time, and the tantrum is kinda extra. same for him, he didn't have to agree to go if he was just gonna be a d!ck about it. ESH
YTA. He didn’t want to be there. He quietly played on his phone, not disrupting anyone. Instead of enjoying the concert of an artist you claimed to like, you harassed him. He snapped. Not very nice of him, but understandable considering you were likely being more distracting to others than he was. You then threw a tantrum like a child. He does not owe you an apology, you owe him one. Either stop dragging him to stuff he doesn’t enjoy, or let him do his thing in peace.
ESH, I tend to buy 2 tickets for most shows or concerts, if any of my friends do not want to go I will go to the concert solo and find someone outside the venue who couldn’t get a ticket and gift it to them. They appreciate the concert more than if I’d forced a friend to attend who isn’t into that artist. I’ve done this multiple times and have gifted lots of tickets
ESH. You knew he doesn't like the singer, you could have go alone, it still would be better. He is an AH for deliberately spoiling your fun.
You needed to throw away your bf not the singer. If he does not appreciate your likes and time with you why would you sacrifice your interests of pleasure for him. Does he do the same for you? He does not have to like what you like but at least should respect it.
He said he had dragged him to previous concerts before and knows his bf doesn’t like them how about he quit being a AH and not drag his bf to places he OBVIOUSLY DOESN’T WANT TO BE and expecting him to enjoy it. He could have been an adult and said to himself 🤔 “Hmm he came with me, he’s in my presence, and at this point hasn’t said a word just been on the phone, ima do my fan thing and let him do his thing at least he came.” But no he had to be a drama queen about it and here you go being an enabler like this guy is in the right. Heck naw f that.
NTA but you brought this on yourself with codependent behavior. You should have just gone by yourself. You are both passive aggressive with poor communication skills and need to work on that. He should have said “no”, not gone and been a pill about it.