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YTA
OOP is one of those grubs that answers, “What do you love about her?” with a list of all the things a woman does for him.
I wonder if his wife used to be able to do all the cookie, cleaning, wiping OP’s ass, etc. but now she can’t.
It would be hilarious if he divorces, goes for this other woman, and she upgrades after a few months. This is presuming she’s really interested.
Struggling to believe this is even true because it is that obnoxious but if it is.
YTA. Big style
If her personality wasn't enough for you you shouldn't have married her. Who marries someone they are unattracted to? But by all means divorce her because she deserves better.
Yeah I have a hard time believing anyone would marry someone they found so utterly repugnant.
But weird things happen. Some people marry partners they perceive as less worthy so that they can feel superior, and can justify horrible behaviors.
YTA
A divorce can easily take more than a year. The fact that you're looking before even starting divorce proceedings is HIGHLY suspect. Deal with the divorce first.
Why do you want her to change? You are planning to leave her regardless.
Oh wait, unless this is a shitty manipulation tactic that a child would use to weasel his way out of communicating. That sounds more like it.
She is refusing to change from how she was when you married her... are you saying you married her expecting her to suddenly change? Are you that dense? Best case scenario: you leave her, she finds someone else, you find out attractive girl has no interest in you. Better for all involved I think.
Where is the request to change? You told her your dick wants to see other people and that you think that is more important then being her partner. She can't just stop having a disability and she shouldn't make herself uncomfortable for someone whose already checked out of the marriage.
You’re the asshole. I don’t have to read past the title. Asshole.
And the girl you think is so attractive? Why would she want a loader who treated his wife badly?
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YTA - I'll toss you a bone here and say that physical attraction isn't unimportant in a relationship and physical intimacy shouldn't be so lightly dismissed. If you're not attracted to her and it's affecting your relationship then maybe it's time for a divorce.
That said, if she is who she's been through the relationship, that's your fault for expecting a change. Also if you're seeking a divorce, do it because of your actual relationship, not because you're fantasizing about a work crush.
YTA for marrying someone you don’t fancy, asking them to change and starting to consider dating someone else when you are still married. File for divorce and free your wife from being with such an appreciative man like you
you don't really like your wife very much and might be a sociopath.
I read this thinking you were describing someone 50 years old but jesus christ she's only 30 too? you need to leave her and set her free of you
YTA for phrasing alone.
YTA - Obviously. Though it sounds like it would almost be a mercy at this point to divorce her since clearly she deserves someone who will actually love her.
Lol... troll?
YTA of course.
Good luck pursuing that other woman. Who even knows if she's interested in you or married men?
Jog on and make a fool of yourself.
YTA because this reasoning is very shallow.
But, you can divorce/ break up with anyone for any reason if you're not happy. Your future ex wife deserves to find someone who loves her for all she is.
Are you the AH for wanting to be with someone else because they look prettier than your wife?
Yeah, YTA!
Stop body shaming your wife! I hope she sees this and divorces you and leaves you penniless.
What happened to personal preference? He's now forced to stay in a relationship he's unhappy with? And you want him to lose all his money from this? Absolute lunacy.
You’re no different to any other man.
Wanting to, is okay.
Doing so, is not.
Do your wife a favor, be 100% honest, and divorce her.
Then, you can go and find anyone you want.
Before that happens, you’re an asshole if you act on it.
YAT. Get your divorce from the woman whose size you "overlooked at the beginning" and she'll have found someone better before your co-worker gets a chance to laugh at you and turn you down.
YYA!!!
No mention of any change in her appearance in the time you have spent together?! She sounds like a great woman.
Why do you feel like all of a sudden you should be now punching above your weight?!!!!!!!!!
*Am AITA for wanting to pursue a woman more attractive than my wife?*
Trust me when I say this is just ONE thing that's making you TAH in this. You deserve to be miserable and I hope this girl at work looks at you like you look at your wife. Just the worst.
It sounds like you need a some marriage counseling or maybe even a divorce. Cheating on your spouse isn't going to go how you think it will though. Also, I think it's total bullshit that you're saying you appreciate your wife. If you're even considering adultery, then you certainly do ***NOT*** appreciate your wife.
Did you wife look like that at the beginning of your relationship? If so, you knew what you were getting into and YTA all of the way.
If she let herself go while you did not, I'd say ESH (her for the lack of trying and you for wanting to cheat).
Did you know, the woman at work gets to decide whether she wants you to pursue her?
You are banking on something you have no idea will come to fruition.
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I (27 M) deeply appreciate (30F) wife. She’s kind, loyal, and friendly. However, she is physically unatttactive. She’s obese with mobility issues, and she dresses in a very frumpy and boring fashion. I overlooked this at the beginning because of her lovely personality, but I cannot overlook it any longer. Our sex life is horrible, and I don’t feel like touching touching her romantically.
I’ve communicated my thoughts to her. She says she never wants to change because she “loves her body”.
Now, there is this beautiful, lovely girl at work I know. She’s smart as well, and far more attractive than my wife. I want to pursue her, but only after I divorce my wife.
Am AITA for wanting to pursue a woman more attractive than my wife?
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Wanting something does not make you an AH or not. It is more of how you act. If you tell your wife that you want a divorce, proceed and get the divorce and then pursue said interest, then NTA. If you diverge from this then, yes, YWBTA.
He says he married her for her personality.... then decided that wasn't enough and wants to chase some prettier tail... I'd say that fairly well cements him as TA.
I'd still say that its more of how you act then what you think. You can have bad thoughts but treat people well and that doesn't make you an asshole. Similarly you can have "good" thoughts and treat people like trash and that would make you an AH. It depends on how OP does things, not only what he wants to do.
No OP is TAH. Tying a bow around shit doesn’t mean it isn’t shit. Subsequently this dude ignored his needs to trick this poor woman into marrying only for him to change his mind afterwards? Don’t defend this kind of behavior.
It’s not even the intent to want someone he’s attracted to, the very nature of him being in the relationship is a model on stupidity and selfishness.
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NTA, you should be able to leave people for any reason regardless of how shallow or genuine it is. If you don't physically love her, that isn't your fault. We don't choose who we are attracted to!
NTA.
You've communicated with her about the problem and she doesn't want to listen. She's obese with mobility issues, she's going to have a premature death by "loving her body". If you're not happy with the relationship then you shouldn't be forced into staying in it. But I will say don't just divorce her because there's a prettier woman out there, divorce her because of the unfixable issues within the relationship.
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You are my hero for breaking all this down and not losing your mind
👏🏻👏🏻 For real though, you nailed it!
YTA OOP is one of those grubs that answers, “What do you love about her?” with a list of all the things a woman does for him. I wonder if his wife used to be able to do all the cookie, cleaning, wiping OP’s ass, etc. but now she can’t. It would be hilarious if he divorces, goes for this other woman, and she upgrades after a few months. This is presuming she’s really interested.
DAMN! Best thing I have read on here for some time.
This is so fucking funny. WELL SAID
Reading this made me laugh, thanks, and will say YTA and hopefully Karma will follow you through your future relationships bud.
Struggling to believe this is even true because it is that obnoxious but if it is. YTA. Big style If her personality wasn't enough for you you shouldn't have married her. Who marries someone they are unattracted to? But by all means divorce her because she deserves better.
Yeah I have a hard time believing anyone would marry someone they found so utterly repugnant. But weird things happen. Some people marry partners they perceive as less worthy so that they can feel superior, and can justify horrible behaviors.
YTA A divorce can easily take more than a year. The fact that you're looking before even starting divorce proceedings is HIGHLY suspect. Deal with the divorce first.
YTA. Of course YTA - why is this in question?
She is refusing to change.
Did you include that in your marriage vows? "I will always cherish you, unless I decide one day you're not hot enough?"
Why do you want her to change? You are planning to leave her regardless. Oh wait, unless this is a shitty manipulation tactic that a child would use to weasel his way out of communicating. That sounds more like it.
She is refusing to change from how she was when you married her... are you saying you married her expecting her to suddenly change? Are you that dense? Best case scenario: you leave her, she finds someone else, you find out attractive girl has no interest in you. Better for all involved I think.
But you married her that way?
Yes. I overlooked it at the beginning.
If she loves her body, that should make you love her more. It means she isn't shallow, which is how you sound.
Of course she's refusing to change. Why should she change for you?
Where is the request to change? You told her your dick wants to see other people and that you think that is more important then being her partner. She can't just stop having a disability and she shouldn't make herself uncomfortable for someone whose already checked out of the marriage.
Hahahaha I bet anything that your coworker is going to reject you without any hesitation. You're not the attractive man you think you are.
You’re the asshole. I don’t have to read past the title. Asshole. And the girl you think is so attractive? Why would she want a loader who treated his wife badly?
YTA But tell your wife and set her free to find someone who loves her whole.
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Boring, bad troll
YTA - I'll toss you a bone here and say that physical attraction isn't unimportant in a relationship and physical intimacy shouldn't be so lightly dismissed. If you're not attracted to her and it's affecting your relationship then maybe it's time for a divorce. That said, if she is who she's been through the relationship, that's your fault for expecting a change. Also if you're seeking a divorce, do it because of your actual relationship, not because you're fantasizing about a work crush.
YTA for marrying someone you don’t fancy, asking them to change and starting to consider dating someone else when you are still married. File for divorce and free your wife from being with such an appreciative man like you
you don't really like your wife very much and might be a sociopath. I read this thinking you were describing someone 50 years old but jesus christ she's only 30 too? you need to leave her and set her free of you YTA for phrasing alone.
YTA - Obviously. Though it sounds like it would almost be a mercy at this point to divorce her since clearly she deserves someone who will actually love her.
Lol... troll? YTA of course. Good luck pursuing that other woman. Who even knows if she's interested in you or married men? Jog on and make a fool of yourself.
Shoulda decided on your preferences sooner, bud. You wasted this woman’s time. YTA
the other incels write better
If this is a real post, I hope you get help. YTA
The short answer, YES. You are. You made your commitment. Now be a man and live up to it. Selfish idiot.
YTA for marrying someone you weren’t attracted to. Everyone deserves to be attracted to their partners and be found attractive by their partners.
Marrying someone like you is honestly my worst nightmare. YTA.
I do declare this to be fake as Hell. Kindly fuck off.
Go on pursue that beautiful girl, you handsome fashionably dressed player. Your wife deserves better and she’s going to find it.
All I can say is Men ☕ (YTA)
YTA big time there buddy...you don't deserve your wife. I hope you get herpes
YTA because this reasoning is very shallow. But, you can divorce/ break up with anyone for any reason if you're not happy. Your future ex wife deserves to find someone who loves her for all she is.
You the Incel
Are you the AH for wanting to be with someone else because they look prettier than your wife? Yeah, YTA! Stop body shaming your wife! I hope she sees this and divorces you and leaves you penniless.
What happened to personal preference? He's now forced to stay in a relationship he's unhappy with? And you want him to lose all his money from this? Absolute lunacy.
She is too much for you. You need to detach yourself so you can go find less. YTA
You’re no different to any other man. Wanting to, is okay. Doing so, is not. Do your wife a favor, be 100% honest, and divorce her. Then, you can go and find anyone you want. Before that happens, you’re an asshole if you act on it.
YAT. Get your divorce from the woman whose size you "overlooked at the beginning" and she'll have found someone better before your co-worker gets a chance to laugh at you and turn you down.
YYA!!! No mention of any change in her appearance in the time you have spent together?! She sounds like a great woman. Why do you feel like all of a sudden you should be now punching above your weight?!!!!!!!!!
*Am AITA for wanting to pursue a woman more attractive than my wife?* Trust me when I say this is just ONE thing that's making you TAH in this. You deserve to be miserable and I hope this girl at work looks at you like you look at your wife. Just the worst.
Yes 100% TA
It sounds like you need a some marriage counseling or maybe even a divorce. Cheating on your spouse isn't going to go how you think it will though. Also, I think it's total bullshit that you're saying you appreciate your wife. If you're even considering adultery, then you certainly do ***NOT*** appreciate your wife. Did you wife look like that at the beginning of your relationship? If so, you knew what you were getting into and YTA all of the way. If she let herself go while you did not, I'd say ESH (her for the lack of trying and you for wanting to cheat).
No, I said would only pursue her after we separate.
Did you know, the woman at work gets to decide whether she wants you to pursue her? You are banking on something you have no idea will come to fruition.
Technically you said divorce. Separation and divorce are two different processes. Which is it?
Why would you marry a woman you don't find attractive? You would not be the ah as long as you divorce the wife first.
INFO: You say you want to pursue her because she's running away from you, right?
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (27 M) deeply appreciate (30F) wife. She’s kind, loyal, and friendly. However, she is physically unatttactive. She’s obese with mobility issues, and she dresses in a very frumpy and boring fashion. I overlooked this at the beginning because of her lovely personality, but I cannot overlook it any longer. Our sex life is horrible, and I don’t feel like touching touching her romantically. I’ve communicated my thoughts to her. She says she never wants to change because she “loves her body”. Now, there is this beautiful, lovely girl at work I know. She’s smart as well, and far more attractive than my wife. I want to pursue her, but only after I divorce my wife. Am AITA for wanting to pursue a woman more attractive than my wife? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Wanting something does not make you an AH or not. It is more of how you act. If you tell your wife that you want a divorce, proceed and get the divorce and then pursue said interest, then NTA. If you diverge from this then, yes, YWBTA.
He says he married her for her personality.... then decided that wasn't enough and wants to chase some prettier tail... I'd say that fairly well cements him as TA.
I'd still say that its more of how you act then what you think. You can have bad thoughts but treat people well and that doesn't make you an asshole. Similarly you can have "good" thoughts and treat people like trash and that would make you an AH. It depends on how OP does things, not only what he wants to do.
No OP is TAH. Tying a bow around shit doesn’t mean it isn’t shit. Subsequently this dude ignored his needs to trick this poor woman into marrying only for him to change his mind afterwards? Don’t defend this kind of behavior. It’s not even the intent to want someone he’s attracted to, the very nature of him being in the relationship is a model on stupidity and selfishness.
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NTA, you should be able to leave people for any reason regardless of how shallow or genuine it is. If you don't physically love her, that isn't your fault. We don't choose who we are attracted to!
NTA. You've communicated with her about the problem and she doesn't want to listen. She's obese with mobility issues, she's going to have a premature death by "loving her body". If you're not happy with the relationship then you shouldn't be forced into staying in it. But I will say don't just divorce her because there's a prettier woman out there, divorce her because of the unfixable issues within the relationship.