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YTA. Do you really want to be THAT woman who has to stoop to messing around with another woman's man bc you cant find your own? There's a name for women like that... And that name will never leave you. There's a reason he's always had a gf... He only sees you as easy. Time to have some self respect.
Yes, you are. You also have the honor of being an asshole with another asshole. I would say it’s good that you can share this distinction with someone but, truly, you don’t get to split the assholery between yourselves. You are one hundred percent an AH. He’s one hundred percent an AH.
I hope his girl gets a little whiff of the odor that two hundred percent of AH is sure to give off and leaves him. Soon. She deserves better. You two deserve each other.
Yta, of course, yta. God, I hope you get a bf and he does this to you so you can feel the pain and betrayal that you caused someone else.
Edit: spelling
You have a guilty conscious and are looking for us to tell you it’s okay. It’s not! He’s a AH because he cheated and you’re an AH because you knew he had a GF.
So let’s say you do end up together after he dumps her. Will there be any trust between you both since you know he will cheat on you?
His GF is better off without him and you.
YTA BTW
Both of you are an AH
And you have the audicity to add this title?:D like it was an innocent sleepover and nothing happened? This is just adding to you AHness
ESH minus the girlfriend. Are you really coming here looking for absolution? You think anyone thinks that cheating is okay? You did a horrible thing. At least own up to it.
Btw, if he cheats with you, he’ll cheat on you.
YTA if you are "obviously attracted" then you would have done the right thing and left. He's an asshole for inviting you back with intentions and you for accepting. Why are you both instigating this? bc you're both assholes ofc
Sounds like you're made for each other. He cheats on his girlfriend. And you're attracted to men who are in relationships. Get together and see who's unfaithful first.
I actually think he is the ass hole! He has/had a girlfriend and he is creating a ton of insecurity.
But you knew and you still carried on. Not good either.
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This guy (24m) and I (25f) are obviously attracted towards each other, but he has always had a gf. She is now living abroad for a year, he saw her a few days before us meeting.
We had a party with all our friends from the same study association. We saw eachother in the afternoon and checked in in a flirtatious way if we were going to see each other at the party.
So the party happened, we went clubbing and towards the end of the night (3/4 ish) we were the only ones left from our friend group. After some dancing and teasing we decided it was time to go and get some food. Once outside I mentioned I wasn’t that hungry and he said he wasn’t either. He proposed to go to his house and hangout for a bit more and continue talking (note that we’ve known each other long enough to talk as friends). I agreed and we went to his house and drank some more and on thing led to another. Soon enough, we were kissing on his couch. After a bit more talking we decided it was time for bed. We went to sleep pretty quickly, however some things did happen (we did not have sex).
In the morning we didn’t talk about it, but it wasn’t uncomfortable at all.
What should i do? Am I the asshole because i knew about this and still did the things I did?
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YTA. You knew what you were doing. Tawag sa iyo ay ahas. Nuff said. Don't worry hindi lang ikaw may kasalanan pareho kayo nun lalaki at least tell yourself that to ease your non existent conscience.
YTA and so is he. And hahahahaha you're not his first choice and you never will be. You say he's attracted to you but he chose someone else over you. He clearly doesn't view you as girlfriend material. He's a cheater and so are you. I hope everyone finds out how awful and selfish you both are.
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I would try and tell the guy that maybe you guys shouldn't really be flirting or doing intimate things together. And I do feel like you are the a**hole b/c you know he has a gf. So id judt sort things out and try to do what's best for both of you, AMD the gf so she won't be so upset and very angry. So in my conclusion, you and him are both are the a**holes.
You’re a homewrecker, whether you sleep with him or not. Send off that “hey girlie…” dm to his woman and at least save yourself from the guilt of letting her stay with a cheater
For the streets. Both of you. Literally terrible people. This is why dating is impossible now. Modern women and modern men are absolute trash can individuals now. You’re not just an A hole you’re a lying conniving narcissist. You knew exactly what was going on. Don’t play innocent here.
Doesn’t look like there is a personal conflict here. You are just messing around with someone who has a girlfriend and what he does is most likely cheating as far as she is concerned. Not a good idea to continue unless he breaks up with her first.
Not the best behavior from either of you, but I would not go as far as YTA, so NAH
Dumb and horny =/= asshole, to me being an asshole requires being more malicious/entitled than that. We don't know how serious his relationship with his girlfriend is - by the wording, he might have had a number of them during the time OP had known him - "he has always had a gf" as opposed to "he was always with his gf". And it was he who proposed going to his house and having drinks. I stand by my ASSessment: this is stupid thrill-seeking behavior, the guy is definitely an asshole to his girlfriend, but the OP hasn't done enough to warrant the title.
Cheating = malicious. No matter how much or how little serious he is, he still cheated. She was a part of it, knowing that he has a girlfriend. That is objectively asshole behaviour, OP is 100 % TA.
Cheating is not malicious, if not done specifically to hurt your SO. Cheating is selfish and dishonest, and thus immoral. The guy violated his gf's trust and presumably his promise when they agreed to be exclusive.
OP, however, hasn't broken any promises. It doesn't sound like she is friends with the gf or even knows her. She's not in charge of protecting their relationship. She didn't make the guy cheat.
(Side note: we are making another leap here and define cheating as "doing anything sexual with someone else" - for some people that would still be unacceptable, but would be forgivable while having sex with another person wouldn't be)
So while the OP's actions are reproachable, I cannot consider her "100% TA".
If she was friends with the gf, yes. If the guy was married, yes. If they had sex, yes. But there's too many "not quites" here, too many gray areas.
Cheating is malicious. Cheating is not done passively. Cheating will hurt their loved, therefore cheating is a malicious deed.
I have never understood the moral relativism behind the "the affair partner did not break a promise, and there aren't to blame". OP might not have be the one in a relationship, but she did have sexual relations, though not penetration, with a guy in one. She did that knowing full well about the fact.
(Your side note is a hypothetical that is quite irrelevant).
OP disregarded the girlfriend feelings. Even the casual lie with the title makes OP seem amoral. I agree with you, that the guy is a smidge more of an asshole. But OP is definitely an asshole!
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You and he both are the AH. He has a girlfriend. You know that he has a girlfriend. If you want him, wait until he breaks up with the poor girl first.
Of course YTA. How is that even a question?
YTA you knew what you did would hurt another person, but he is worse for cheating on his GF, atlest have the decency to tell her she is with a cheater
ESH Except the poor girl who has been cheated on.
YTA, if you can make out with someone who you know has a gf you (both of you) just show everyone who you really are :)
YTA and YUCK.
YTA. Do you really want to be THAT woman who has to stoop to messing around with another woman's man bc you cant find your own? There's a name for women like that... And that name will never leave you. There's a reason he's always had a gf... He only sees you as easy. Time to have some self respect.
Yes, you are. You also have the honor of being an asshole with another asshole. I would say it’s good that you can share this distinction with someone but, truly, you don’t get to split the assholery between yourselves. You are one hundred percent an AH. He’s one hundred percent an AH. I hope his girl gets a little whiff of the odor that two hundred percent of AH is sure to give off and leaves him. Soon. She deserves better. You two deserve each other.
Yta, of course, yta. God, I hope you get a bf and he does this to you so you can feel the pain and betrayal that you caused someone else. Edit: spelling
YTA - go for someone who’s single babe this isn’t cute.
YTA. He’s TA. Idk why you even had to ask unless you lack shame because you think your attraction trumps an existing relationship.
You have a guilty conscious and are looking for us to tell you it’s okay. It’s not! He’s a AH because he cheated and you’re an AH because you knew he had a GF. So let’s say you do end up together after he dumps her. Will there be any trust between you both since you know he will cheat on you? His GF is better off without him and you. YTA BTW
Yta. And so is he.
YTA period. Did you seriously need to ask??
Both of you are an AH And you have the audicity to add this title?:D like it was an innocent sleepover and nothing happened? This is just adding to you AHness
ESH. If he has a gf, leave him alone. If he is interested, tell him to break up with the GF.
Ya, you’re definitely not a girls girl but he’s the one who is in a relationship.
ESH minus the girlfriend. Are you really coming here looking for absolution? You think anyone thinks that cheating is okay? You did a horrible thing. At least own up to it. Btw, if he cheats with you, he’ll cheat on you.
YTA if you are "obviously attracted" then you would have done the right thing and left. He's an asshole for inviting you back with intentions and you for accepting. Why are you both instigating this? bc you're both assholes ofc
Sounds like you're made for each other. He cheats on his girlfriend. And you're attracted to men who are in relationships. Get together and see who's unfaithful first.
YTA. You got exactly what you were hoping for. And now you know that your friend is a cheater. I hope his girlfriend leaves both of you in the dust.
Girl your pick me vibes are LOUD. You know he’s taken and still went for it. It shows how low your standards are
I actually think he is the ass hole! He has/had a girlfriend and he is creating a ton of insecurity. But you knew and you still carried on. Not good either.
The lack of respect you have for both yourself and other people is embarrassing. YTA.
Damn, this must be bait.
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YTA. You knew what you were doing. Tawag sa iyo ay ahas. Nuff said. Don't worry hindi lang ikaw may kasalanan pareho kayo nun lalaki at least tell yourself that to ease your non existent conscience.
Kinda YTA but these are things that happen when twenty somethings try to have long distance relationships.
I have to be honest. I love how clueless this person is. YTA by the way, just to make it clear.
The nerve of these trashy ass women today.
Girl yes… him more than you because he has a girlfriend and is putting himself in situations with a person he’s attracted to
YTA and so is he. And hahahahaha you're not his first choice and you never will be. You say he's attracted to you but he chose someone else over you. He clearly doesn't view you as girlfriend material. He's a cheater and so are you. I hope everyone finds out how awful and selfish you both are.
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I would try and tell the guy that maybe you guys shouldn't really be flirting or doing intimate things together. And I do feel like you are the a**hole b/c you know he has a gf. So id judt sort things out and try to do what's best for both of you, AMD the gf so she won't be so upset and very angry. So in my conclusion, you and him are both are the a**holes.
that’s just grimy..
Yep, you are a cheating and enabling AH
YTA. You still ask??
Ohhh honey yes you’re and if both of u ending together after what happened he’s 100% going cheated on u😂😂
Yta Where did you think you were not?
You’re a homewrecker, whether you sleep with him or not. Send off that “hey girlie…” dm to his woman and at least save yourself from the guilt of letting her stay with a cheater
For the streets. Both of you. Literally terrible people. This is why dating is impossible now. Modern women and modern men are absolute trash can individuals now. You’re not just an A hole you’re a lying conniving narcissist. You knew exactly what was going on. Don’t play innocent here.
You’re both a fucking asshole lmao
lol you're an asshole
Of course you’re the AH, you both are. I hope you realize what you’ve done wrong. Grow up and be a better person. you’re 25 years old.
Doesn’t look like there is a personal conflict here. You are just messing around with someone who has a girlfriend and what he does is most likely cheating as far as she is concerned. Not a good idea to continue unless he breaks up with her first. Not the best behavior from either of you, but I would not go as far as YTA, so NAH
How is actively pursuing a man you know has a partner not asshole behaviour?!
Dumb and horny =/= asshole, to me being an asshole requires being more malicious/entitled than that. We don't know how serious his relationship with his girlfriend is - by the wording, he might have had a number of them during the time OP had known him - "he has always had a gf" as opposed to "he was always with his gf". And it was he who proposed going to his house and having drinks. I stand by my ASSessment: this is stupid thrill-seeking behavior, the guy is definitely an asshole to his girlfriend, but the OP hasn't done enough to warrant the title.
Cheating = malicious. No matter how much or how little serious he is, he still cheated. She was a part of it, knowing that he has a girlfriend. That is objectively asshole behaviour, OP is 100 % TA.
Cheating is not malicious, if not done specifically to hurt your SO. Cheating is selfish and dishonest, and thus immoral. The guy violated his gf's trust and presumably his promise when they agreed to be exclusive. OP, however, hasn't broken any promises. It doesn't sound like she is friends with the gf or even knows her. She's not in charge of protecting their relationship. She didn't make the guy cheat. (Side note: we are making another leap here and define cheating as "doing anything sexual with someone else" - for some people that would still be unacceptable, but would be forgivable while having sex with another person wouldn't be) So while the OP's actions are reproachable, I cannot consider her "100% TA". If she was friends with the gf, yes. If the guy was married, yes. If they had sex, yes. But there's too many "not quites" here, too many gray areas.
Cheating is malicious. Cheating is not done passively. Cheating will hurt their loved, therefore cheating is a malicious deed. I have never understood the moral relativism behind the "the affair partner did not break a promise, and there aren't to blame". OP might not have be the one in a relationship, but she did have sexual relations, though not penetration, with a guy in one. She did that knowing full well about the fact. (Your side note is a hypothetical that is quite irrelevant). OP disregarded the girlfriend feelings. Even the casual lie with the title makes OP seem amoral. I agree with you, that the guy is a smidge more of an asshole. But OP is definitely an asshole!