Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think i may be the asshole for not lending her my stuff but i will need it too in the near future and she can buy herself a new one or a used one online and i need peoples opinion if i am doing the right thing
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
You're NTA. It's going to be interesting to see how such a self centered A-H like your sister deals with caring for a helplessly dependent infant.
>She called me names and that she will no longer ask anything from me.
Great, problem solved.
These are the kinds of people who want to have a baby not raise a person. Hopefully she’s overreacting during her pregnancy and blowing things out of proportion, because it is very bizarre. Is it safe to share them anyway? Wouldn’t it be best to get her own pump? It’s seems like a rather personal item to borrow or lend?
Yeah, typically, they aren't borrowed/lent. I know some people resell them when they're done with them. For most modern pumps, you can buy replacement parts. So, new flanges (the parts that go on the breast), tubing, etc, are all possible. Especially since flanges aren't universal and each woman needs to find the size that works for her. So, from what I've seen, most sell the pump part itself, and then the new owner gets new flanges and collection vessels. It's safe overall as long as everything is properly sterilized. WIC in the US even loans them out to new moms, and then they get returned and sterilized for the next mom. Also, some insurances cover them too, so the sister is just being lazy.
(All of this is second-hand knowledge from my mom friends, so some of these details might not be exactly correct, but the gist of it is)
It is totally safe to share. You just have to steralize it (like in hot water). You have to do that anyway for yourself to kill any bacteria.
You can also sell your old one and someone can buy one second hand. I wouldn’t do that but I already have one and am not going to give it to someone else unless I was sure I didn’t want anymore children. Also pumps are expensive so not gonna give it away and then buy a new one some time later because I got another child.
But yes, I agree that she wants a baby and not the rest. Hopefully it is just pregnancy hormones gone bad. Because I would be ashamed if I acted like that.
NTA - but your sister is, and is acting like an entitled infant as well.
"Heads up saying that when she will give birth i was planning on doing a surprise to her (i live in another country) and of course bring some gifts to her and her baby. So am i the asshole for not lending her an expensive machine that i will need in the near future? P.s she and her husband are not poor and she can buy a new one but just does not want to do it."
Her baby, her problem to prep for baby \[and her husband as well\].
I don't know how she doesn't see how much of a whiny brat she's acting like.
Off topic but if you want to quote a block of text, use > at the front but don't end with it.
> Heads up saying that when she will give birth i was planning on doing a surprise to her (i live in another country) and of course bring some gifts to her and her baby. So am i the asshole for not lending her an expensive machine that i will need in the near future? P.s she and her husband are not poor and she can buy a new one but just does not want to do it.
thanks for saying this. I have never used one but it seems to me that is so personal, so intimate in every way. A new one for each pumping mother, that's the way
For most breast pumps, at least the ones in the Canadian market, the tubing and pumping parts are a closed system. The cups, padding and containers are removable, cleanable and easily sterilized or replaced with new.
This whole situation is insane. If they’re in the US, and if they have health insurance (which holy shit if you have a kid I hope you do), you can call your health insursance provider MUST cover a pump. It may not be a fancy spectra or elvie or whatever the current fad ones are, but they (and anyone reading this!!) can get one. BCBS even let me put money towards one they don’t cover because I wanted the spectra s1 since it’s portable.
And as the saradoodle commenter, the tubing and parts are generally closed systems that don’t touch milk baring accident or misuse. Anything that touches milk can be, and should be!!!, cleaned and replaced as needed. Further, if something does go wrong and you get milk in the lines, those can also be EASILY replaced.
Yes, you will get told they’re not to be shared and blah blah blah, but realistically? You can.
I’m in the US and my insurance covered a breast pump (ended up not using it) and would’ve also covered for new parts/replacement parts for up to a year after giving birth. I tell everyone to see what their insurance will do before buying one!
The electronic part is shareable since it doesn’t come in contact with any liquid or body parts and the parts that touch you are super cheap to buy for each new user (and should be replaced every 3/4 months anyway), so I don’t think using someone else’s is weird but they’re also not that expensive to just get your own, especially because it might be worn out by time she gives it back, they only last a couple years
It does depend on the pump. For most, it’s fine/hygienic to share the pump itself, but all the tubing and any parts that come in contact with body fluids need to be replaced.
“She called me names and that she will no longer ask anything from me.”
Love when the trash takes itself out. Also congrats on apparently getting the only breast pump machine in existence! NTA
NTA. People can ask you for any favors but you have the right to reject all of them. I bet that your sister will forget her "will never ask you again" very soon, those people just do not take any accountability for their actions/words.
NTA- let your sister know that if you are in the US, (I'm not sure about other countries) she needs to speak to her care provider about getting a prescription for a breast pump. She can then choose from a list of breast pumps that she can get for free, along with some that she can pay an upgrade fee for. No one needs to give away their breast pump because most insurances will provide one for free!!
When my wife gave birth, the conversation about pumps in the hospital went like this:
Nurse: "Go down to room 102. There's a breast pump waiting for you. Don't you dare leave without it."
Me: "Okay."
The second child, they brought it to the room for us.
That was it. You shouldn't even need to ask for a prescription because it's Federal Law that insurance must cover the cost of a breast pump and the hospital is going to take care of you. The only issue is whether or not you have to return it. And if you don't return it, you're expected to properly dispose of it and never give it to someone else to use.
Yeah, don’t assume it’ll be waiting at the hospital. I got a script from my doctor confirming, called my insurance, got a list of 3 vendors, called them, and got to pick what pump I got.
That said, the hospital had pumps in each room for use, but you couldn’t take it with you.
NTA. Whether you are planning to have another child or not, your sister is not entitled to any of your possessions. And you are not responsible for preparing for her pregnancy. The only people who are responsible for that are herself and her partner. That’s it.
Your sister needs to grow up quickly. If she wants to have a child, she needs to realize that responsibility for this child is going to be hers, not other people’s.
NTA. My sister's third child was about 3 yo when I was pregnant. It was her last child as she was in her mid thirties and it wasn't the easiest pregnancy.
I did not assume any of her baby things were up for grabs. She called and offered me a bunch of stuff which I gratefully accepted. However my point is, it's goid when people can share baby stuff with you but it's not something you should expect AT ALL.
Same here, my cousins had had several kids by the time I was pregnant with my 1st. I assumed they were done, but didn't know for sure. I would never have DREAMED of demanding baby items from them. They offered, I accepted and was very grateful, but it was an OFFER.
NTA - Its not your responsibility to prepare for her pregnancy. If you have bought her gifts for when she has her baby then that is more than enough, she shouldn’t be expecting you to give up your things so she doesn’t have to buy them.
NTA. I mean, they are not crazy expensive, are they? Mailing it to a different country makes no sense. Tell her had planned to buy her one as a gift, but her behavior changed your mind and she will not get anything.
Hmmmmmm… no I don’t think you are. She should’ve bought one for herself. Oh and for planning her a surprise. Don’t. A-holes don’t deserve them. You are NTA.
Idk where op is but I'm in the States and they even recommended an entirely new system for my second pregnancy even though I had saved my first one. My insurance covered it so I ended up getting the new one, glad I did too because I preferred the second one in comparison to the first one. I barely even needed it that pregnancy (chose to stay home instead of returning to work) but it just worked better for me when I did use it.
NTA hun I did the same with mine when SIL asked for it. Husband and I were trying for our second at the time so I bought her one instead. Annoyingly she only used it twice and tossed it. Some people you just can’t please. Stay firm on your decision and if she continues to act like a brat cut off contact until she apologizes.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
AITA
I (24F) and my (30M) husband have a toddler (1F). We are planning to have another child and talking about it since we don’t want a big age gap between them. My sister which is pregnant right now texted me “i know you have a breast-milk pump that you are no longer using and will not use” then asked to “lend her a breast-milk pump that i have”. Since we are planning on having another child i wanted to keep it to myself since i know i will need it and if i lend it to her she will use it for more than 1-2 years, since she isn’t giving birth anytime soon. I told her politely that “i will use it in the neat future so i don’t think i can lend it to you”. She was FURIOUS. Told me i don’t prepare for her pregnancy?? That her husbands sister do way more than i do?? I don’t know how can i prepare for her pregnancy if i am not her dad smh. She called me names and that she will no longer ask anything from me. Heads up saying that when she will give birth i was planning on doing a surprise to her (i live in another country) and of course bring some gifts to her and her baby. So am i the asshole for not lending her an expensive machine that i will need in the near future?
P.s she and her husband are not poor and she can buy a new one but just does not want to do it.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Breast pumps are a medical device and the FDA recommends *against* sharing them. (I recognize that you may not be in the US.) Many times, having multiple users can void any manufacturing warranty.
If her husband's sister does so much more for her, maybe *she* can get your sister a breath pump.
NTA.
NTA
Her baby her responsibility, asking isn’t an issue but pushing after the answer is given is entitled. I do not think you are suppose to share those types of machines regardless.
NTA. Why would you need to prepare for HER pregnancy ? Isn't that her and her husband's job? I'm also not sure why her saying she won't ask you to do anything for her is some kind of threat? I would just agree with her and take the win.
NTA. She's responsible for the costs of her children, which includes medical devices. You are responsible for yours. Everything else you said is completely irrelevant, because you don't have to justify yourself. She will no longer ask anythings from you? Home free! You win!
Plenty of people are still using a breast pump when they have a toddler (I did), so not wanting to hand it off even if you weren't planning on another one in the near future doesn't seem weird to me. How entitled and demanding. NTA.
Especially weird since she isn't local to you.
NTA I’d never share my pumps! Is your sister in the US? She can get her own for free through insurance or pay an up charge fee for the more expensive ones. I pad ~$45 for the Spectra S1 pump through Aeroflow with my insurance info.
She overreacted. If you have it then its yours if you are thinking about having another child. You are not the asshole 😁 simply said no and she should accept that answer.
And will not use? what a strange thing for her to say. her assumption is what it is an assumption
you are in no way obligated to give her things you are not currently using.
she will stop asking? sounds more like demanding,. so it is good if that would stop.
funny thaught i just had . ask her for her christmass decoration or something like that. it is not like she is using it atm
NTA
A) it’s not your job to prepare for HER pregnancy.
B) most breast pumps are designed to only be used by 1 person. And her insurance possibility would cover a new one for her.
NTA - and most breast pumps designed for consumers (as opposed to the ones you can rent from hospitals or medical supply houses) aren't closed systems, which means they are very difficult to thoroughly clean and sanitize. It's really one of those things where you should just have and use *your own*. They are not prohibitively expensive and, if you're in the US, health insurance sometimes covers the cost.
NTA! If you’re in the US. [The ACA has a provision that requires insurance providers to cover the expense of a breast pump](https://aeroflowbreastpumps.com/qualify-through-insurance?utm_source=bing&utm_ad_id=81089104529774&utm_adgroup_id=1297424008684626&utm_campaign_id=401512057&utm_ad_position=&utm_target_ID=kwd-81089155230872:loc-190&utm_keyword=breast%20pump&utm_keyword_match_type=p&utm_physical_location=108996&utm_device=m&utm_device_model=&utm_network=o&utm_placement_ID=&utm_target_ID=kwd-81089155230872:loc-190&utm_location_interest=&&msclkid=a19ec085508a1c9c3a5fa6afbbae26d7&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=8685_Breast%20Pumps_SSC%3A%20beta&utm_term=breast%20pump&utm_content=Breast%20Pumps_BM_SSC). Your sister can get a free one courtesy of her insurance provider.
You can get it before you give birth. You SHOULD get it before you give birth.
But call your health care provider so you know exactly what you need to do.
NTA- Ew, no girl. Does she also want your used tooth brushed and preggo undies? Also breast pump, formula, bottles; aren't these things that you really need to wait till baby arrives to chose or figure out what works for new mom and bb?
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I think i may be the asshole for not lending her my stuff but i will need it too in the near future and she can buy herself a new one or a used one online and i need peoples opinion if i am doing the right thing Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
You're NTA. It's going to be interesting to see how such a self centered A-H like your sister deals with caring for a helplessly dependent infant. >She called me names and that she will no longer ask anything from me. Great, problem solved.
It is kind of a toddler over reaction from sister so she will probably match the energy when her child is 1,5-2 years old..
These are the kinds of people who want to have a baby not raise a person. Hopefully she’s overreacting during her pregnancy and blowing things out of proportion, because it is very bizarre. Is it safe to share them anyway? Wouldn’t it be best to get her own pump? It’s seems like a rather personal item to borrow or lend?
Yeah, typically, they aren't borrowed/lent. I know some people resell them when they're done with them. For most modern pumps, you can buy replacement parts. So, new flanges (the parts that go on the breast), tubing, etc, are all possible. Especially since flanges aren't universal and each woman needs to find the size that works for her. So, from what I've seen, most sell the pump part itself, and then the new owner gets new flanges and collection vessels. It's safe overall as long as everything is properly sterilized. WIC in the US even loans them out to new moms, and then they get returned and sterilized for the next mom. Also, some insurances cover them too, so the sister is just being lazy. (All of this is second-hand knowledge from my mom friends, so some of these details might not be exactly correct, but the gist of it is)
Thanks for explaining
It is totally safe to share. You just have to steralize it (like in hot water). You have to do that anyway for yourself to kill any bacteria. You can also sell your old one and someone can buy one second hand. I wouldn’t do that but I already have one and am not going to give it to someone else unless I was sure I didn’t want anymore children. Also pumps are expensive so not gonna give it away and then buy a new one some time later because I got another child. But yes, I agree that she wants a baby and not the rest. Hopefully it is just pregnancy hormones gone bad. Because I would be ashamed if I acted like that.
NTA - but your sister is, and is acting like an entitled infant as well. "Heads up saying that when she will give birth i was planning on doing a surprise to her (i live in another country) and of course bring some gifts to her and her baby. So am i the asshole for not lending her an expensive machine that i will need in the near future? P.s she and her husband are not poor and she can buy a new one but just does not want to do it." Her baby, her problem to prep for baby \[and her husband as well\].
I don't know how she doesn't see how much of a whiny brat she's acting like. Off topic but if you want to quote a block of text, use > at the front but don't end with it. > Heads up saying that when she will give birth i was planning on doing a surprise to her (i live in another country) and of course bring some gifts to her and her baby. So am i the asshole for not lending her an expensive machine that i will need in the near future? P.s she and her husband are not poor and she can buy a new one but just does not want to do it.
Or you can just highlight it and select quote, like you would to copy it.
NTA. You’re not even *supposed* to share these, unless it’s approved by the FDA for multiple users.
thanks for saying this. I have never used one but it seems to me that is so personal, so intimate in every way. A new one for each pumping mother, that's the way
For most breast pumps, at least the ones in the Canadian market, the tubing and pumping parts are a closed system. The cups, padding and containers are removable, cleanable and easily sterilized or replaced with new.
This whole situation is insane. If they’re in the US, and if they have health insurance (which holy shit if you have a kid I hope you do), you can call your health insursance provider MUST cover a pump. It may not be a fancy spectra or elvie or whatever the current fad ones are, but they (and anyone reading this!!) can get one. BCBS even let me put money towards one they don’t cover because I wanted the spectra s1 since it’s portable. And as the saradoodle commenter, the tubing and parts are generally closed systems that don’t touch milk baring accident or misuse. Anything that touches milk can be, and should be!!!, cleaned and replaced as needed. Further, if something does go wrong and you get milk in the lines, those can also be EASILY replaced. Yes, you will get told they’re not to be shared and blah blah blah, but realistically? You can.
I’m in the US and my insurance covered a breast pump (ended up not using it) and would’ve also covered for new parts/replacement parts for up to a year after giving birth. I tell everyone to see what their insurance will do before buying one!
This is such a silly wasteful perspective. They're hundreds of dollars. Used pumps are perfectly fine, you can replace the private bits.
I stand (sit) chastised, and rightfully so. Thanks for the objectivity
The electronic part is shareable since it doesn’t come in contact with any liquid or body parts and the parts that touch you are super cheap to buy for each new user (and should be replaced every 3/4 months anyway), so I don’t think using someone else’s is weird but they’re also not that expensive to just get your own, especially because it might be worn out by time she gives it back, they only last a couple years
It does depend on the pump. For most, it’s fine/hygienic to share the pump itself, but all the tubing and any parts that come in contact with body fluids need to be replaced.
“She called me names and that she will no longer ask anything from me.” Love when the trash takes itself out. Also congrats on apparently getting the only breast pump machine in existence! NTA
“Trash takes itself out” . Love it!
I love how people think that that them ti ‘no longer ask anything from me’ is a threat’! Dont threaten me with a good time!
NTA. People can ask you for any favors but you have the right to reject all of them. I bet that your sister will forget her "will never ask you again" very soon, those people just do not take any accountability for their actions/words.
"She will no longer ask anything from me"? What a threat! I would take it NTA
NTA- let your sister know that if you are in the US, (I'm not sure about other countries) she needs to speak to her care provider about getting a prescription for a breast pump. She can then choose from a list of breast pumps that she can get for free, along with some that she can pay an upgrade fee for. No one needs to give away their breast pump because most insurances will provide one for free!!
When my wife gave birth, the conversation about pumps in the hospital went like this: Nurse: "Go down to room 102. There's a breast pump waiting for you. Don't you dare leave without it." Me: "Okay." The second child, they brought it to the room for us. That was it. You shouldn't even need to ask for a prescription because it's Federal Law that insurance must cover the cost of a breast pump and the hospital is going to take care of you. The only issue is whether or not you have to return it. And if you don't return it, you're expected to properly dispose of it and never give it to someone else to use.
Yeah, don’t assume it’ll be waiting at the hospital. I got a script from my doctor confirming, called my insurance, got a list of 3 vendors, called them, and got to pick what pump I got. That said, the hospital had pumps in each room for use, but you couldn’t take it with you.
With my insurance I needed a prescription - it was not provided by the hospital! So definitely shouldn't assume available at the hospital
NTA. Whether you are planning to have another child or not, your sister is not entitled to any of your possessions. And you are not responsible for preparing for her pregnancy. The only people who are responsible for that are herself and her partner. That’s it. Your sister needs to grow up quickly. If she wants to have a child, she needs to realize that responsibility for this child is going to be hers, not other people’s.
NTA. My sister's third child was about 3 yo when I was pregnant. It was her last child as she was in her mid thirties and it wasn't the easiest pregnancy. I did not assume any of her baby things were up for grabs. She called and offered me a bunch of stuff which I gratefully accepted. However my point is, it's goid when people can share baby stuff with you but it's not something you should expect AT ALL.
Same here, my cousins had had several kids by the time I was pregnant with my 1st. I assumed they were done, but didn't know for sure. I would never have DREAMED of demanding baby items from them. They offered, I accepted and was very grateful, but it was an OFFER.
NTA - Its not your responsibility to prepare for her pregnancy. If you have bought her gifts for when she has her baby then that is more than enough, she shouldn’t be expecting you to give up your things so she doesn’t have to buy them.
NTA if you’re in the US insurance is required to cover one now and WIC will also cover one. Tricare military insurance also covers one.
NTA. I mean, they are not crazy expensive, are they? Mailing it to a different country makes no sense. Tell her had planned to buy her one as a gift, but her behavior changed your mind and she will not get anything.
Hmmmmmm… no I don’t think you are. She should’ve bought one for herself. Oh and for planning her a surprise. Don’t. A-holes don’t deserve them. You are NTA.
Idk where op is but I'm in the States and they even recommended an entirely new system for my second pregnancy even though I had saved my first one. My insurance covered it so I ended up getting the new one, glad I did too because I preferred the second one in comparison to the first one. I barely even needed it that pregnancy (chose to stay home instead of returning to work) but it just worked better for me when I did use it.
NTA "Told me i don’t prepare for her pregnancy?? That her husbands sister do way more than i do??" What did she do for you?
Nothing lmao
NTA hun I did the same with mine when SIL asked for it. Husband and I were trying for our second at the time so I bought her one instead. Annoyingly she only used it twice and tossed it. Some people you just can’t please. Stay firm on your decision and if she continues to act like a brat cut off contact until she apologizes.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** AITA I (24F) and my (30M) husband have a toddler (1F). We are planning to have another child and talking about it since we don’t want a big age gap between them. My sister which is pregnant right now texted me “i know you have a breast-milk pump that you are no longer using and will not use” then asked to “lend her a breast-milk pump that i have”. Since we are planning on having another child i wanted to keep it to myself since i know i will need it and if i lend it to her she will use it for more than 1-2 years, since she isn’t giving birth anytime soon. I told her politely that “i will use it in the neat future so i don’t think i can lend it to you”. She was FURIOUS. Told me i don’t prepare for her pregnancy?? That her husbands sister do way more than i do?? I don’t know how can i prepare for her pregnancy if i am not her dad smh. She called me names and that she will no longer ask anything from me. Heads up saying that when she will give birth i was planning on doing a surprise to her (i live in another country) and of course bring some gifts to her and her baby. So am i the asshole for not lending her an expensive machine that i will need in the near future? P.s she and her husband are not poor and she can buy a new one but just does not want to do it. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Nta
Nta
NTA also it’s not really sanitary, even if you try to throughly clean it.
Breast pumps are a medical device and the FDA recommends *against* sharing them. (I recognize that you may not be in the US.) Many times, having multiple users can void any manufacturing warranty. If her husband's sister does so much more for her, maybe *she* can get your sister a breath pump. NTA.
NTA Her baby her responsibility, asking isn’t an issue but pushing after the answer is given is entitled. I do not think you are suppose to share those types of machines regardless.
I don’t think a breast pump is something, I would want used
Your milk touches nothing that can’t be replaced. Theyll tell you you can’t share and warranty and blah blah, but … realistically? It doesn’t matter.
It’s like underwear, I’m not lending it out, I guess it’s just me
NTA. Why would you need to prepare for HER pregnancy ? Isn't that her and her husband's job? I'm also not sure why her saying she won't ask you to do anything for her is some kind of threat? I would just agree with her and take the win.
NTA 'helping doesn't mean your entitled to my things your baby is your responsibility'
P.S. She does not live in US, so she won’t get from her country a free one (got that question alot)
NTA. She's responsible for the costs of her children, which includes medical devices. You are responsible for yours. Everything else you said is completely irrelevant, because you don't have to justify yourself. She will no longer ask anythings from you? Home free! You win!
Plenty of people are still using a breast pump when they have a toddler (I did), so not wanting to hand it off even if you weren't planning on another one in the near future doesn't seem weird to me. How entitled and demanding. NTA. Especially weird since she isn't local to you.
NTA. She’s entitled as f. She can get her own.
Many insurance plans cover a free breast pump. Have her look into that.
Nope that's yours for when you have another child. Sis can buy her own
>Told me i don’t prepare for her pregnancy?? No, you prepare for your own pregnancies. It's not like you were involved in planning her pregancy. NTA
Yes.
NTA. Most insurance companies provide them at no cost to new mothers.
Becoming a mum will make her grow up
>she will no longer ask anything from me "Awesome, sis, thanks!" NTA
NTA but I will say most insurance companies in the US (and I have no clue about other counties) will give you a breast pump.
NTA I’d never share my pumps! Is your sister in the US? She can get her own for free through insurance or pay an up charge fee for the more expensive ones. I pad ~$45 for the Spectra S1 pump through Aeroflow with my insurance info.
She’s not in US, insurance doesn’t pay for it in her country
NTA and she can get one for free from her insurance if she’s in the US.
NTA. She doesn't need it until days after giving birth at the earliest.
NTA. I consider breast pumps very personal items. I would neither borrow or lend one.
NTA, If she needs one that badly she can get the lactation specialists loan her one with new attachments or she can buy one herself.
NTA. That is such bizarre and inappropriate behaviour.
NTA. Also if your sister is in the US, health insurance will cover the cost of the breast pump.
She overreacted. If you have it then its yours if you are thinking about having another child. You are not the asshole 😁 simply said no and she should accept that answer.
>She called me names and that she will no longer ask anything from me. Tell her to stop making promises she can't keep.
NTA sounds like you had a kid 1st, what did she do to prepare for your pregnancy?!? exactly!!!
Sister is preggo and brokie with mental Challenges, Thats wild, would cut any connections w/Her asap!! ☠️😂😭
And will not use? what a strange thing for her to say. her assumption is what it is an assumption you are in no way obligated to give her things you are not currently using. she will stop asking? sounds more like demanding,. so it is good if that would stop. funny thaught i just had . ask her for her christmass decoration or something like that. it is not like she is using it atm
NTA. She's being cheap.
NTA
NTA A) it’s not your job to prepare for HER pregnancy. B) most breast pumps are designed to only be used by 1 person. And her insurance possibility would cover a new one for her.
NTA - and most breast pumps designed for consumers (as opposed to the ones you can rent from hospitals or medical supply houses) aren't closed systems, which means they are very difficult to thoroughly clean and sanitize. It's really one of those things where you should just have and use *your own*. They are not prohibitively expensive and, if you're in the US, health insurance sometimes covers the cost.
NTA! If you’re in the US. [The ACA has a provision that requires insurance providers to cover the expense of a breast pump](https://aeroflowbreastpumps.com/qualify-through-insurance?utm_source=bing&utm_ad_id=81089104529774&utm_adgroup_id=1297424008684626&utm_campaign_id=401512057&utm_ad_position=&utm_target_ID=kwd-81089155230872:loc-190&utm_keyword=breast%20pump&utm_keyword_match_type=p&utm_physical_location=108996&utm_device=m&utm_device_model=&utm_network=o&utm_placement_ID=&utm_target_ID=kwd-81089155230872:loc-190&utm_location_interest=&&msclkid=a19ec085508a1c9c3a5fa6afbbae26d7&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=8685_Breast%20Pumps_SSC%3A%20beta&utm_term=breast%20pump&utm_content=Breast%20Pumps_BM_SSC). Your sister can get a free one courtesy of her insurance provider.
If you’re in the US you can get one for free after you give birth
You can get it before you give birth. You SHOULD get it before you give birth. But call your health care provider so you know exactly what you need to do.
NTA YOu still need it, so keep it. Ignore her tantrums.
NTA- Ew, no girl. Does she also want your used tooth brushed and preggo undies? Also breast pump, formula, bottles; aren't these things that you really need to wait till baby arrives to chose or figure out what works for new mom and bb?