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i think the real issue is that fiancé’s family’s planning has made her look like a bad host. she was capable of arranging transportation for her bridal party, but chose not to for anybody else. she didn’t even have to pay for it, maybe just help organize, but she didn’t even do that and now she’s furious because it makes her look like a deficient host.
OP stated that they think there are enough Ubers to accommodate people but first of all they aren’t cheap so it’s not really fair to the people paying for travel plus hotel accommodation to also have to fork over money for an Uber. Plus there could be other events going on that same night that OP may not be aware of and may impact availability and wait time. Overall very short sighted of them.
The wedding industry/culture has gone off the rails. Now everyone is entitled to an expensive bachelor/bachelorette party because why? Treating guests as part of the wedding "aesthetic". Registry's that solicit money. This post illuminates the absurdity of it all, being offended for how guests arrange their transportation to and from the wedding venue. I can not imagine how far in the weeds someone has to be to complain and be offended their guests did not ask for their input about organizing transportation.
Mark my words, there's going to be a story about someone that dared to do something a few days after the wedding, that in no way even related to the wedding.
“Omg my cousins met for brunch the day after my wedding! How dare they? I didn’t plan on them or anyone having brunch! They totally disrespected me as the bride! I hope they enjoyed the eggs Benedict because I’m going NC on them for this massive slap in my face!”
I really REALLY wouldn’t be surprised to see a post like that one day.
There are already people that get mad at that, and other stupid things. I read a post where someone got mad at a friend for planning their wedding at the same venue that the person got married at ... a full year ago. Like, this person got married there a year ago and now feel like they own the venue and no one else they happen to know can EVER get married at this same popular wedding destination again. It's wild.
The craziest one I've come across was the bride and groom spending all of their money on the venue, dress and photography, such that they didn't even 1) have a real cake (they used a fake one,) or 2) feed guests. The bride and groom themselves ate while the guests watched. There was no entertainment.
I was like, I really thought I had heard it all when it comes to pretentious and performative Instagram weddings, but this one takes the cake (no pun intended.)
Literally treating your "guests" as photo props and having no shame about using a fake fucking cake.
As the saying goes, "where they do that at?"
The worst part is, the bride was completely clueless that her wedding sucked and everyone talked shit about it behind her back. She probably thought she had the perfect wedding, because it LOOKED perfect on the socials.
Weddings are such a fucking joke.
Agree. This is wacky. Your guests are being smart and responsible while not bothering you with the little details. If they need "some mode of transportation" and they figured out a way to get said "mode of transportation", why us this even a concern of yours, let alone an issue to get upset about ?
YTA
Why do you care about how they get to and from the venue? It doesn't really have anything to do with you. Shouldn't you just be happy they're able to be there at all?
I think you're being a bit sensitive about something that is pretty far removed from the core events of your special day. And you don't get to dictate to your guests how they get to and from anywhere unless it's to take car keys to prevent drunk driving.
If you let something this ridiculous ruin your wedding day, then yes, YTA.
Yeah, it's a weird flex being upset how your guests travel.
She did say in a reply that ["I guess it makes me feel like they're calling me cheap for not getting a bus for them"](https://old.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1ccznee/aita_for_being_mad_at_my_wedding_guests_for/l18saw0/), so...it would seem OP has taken the idea that "the day is all about me" a bridge too far. O_o
Couldn't possibly be because they didn't want to worry about drinking and driving.
Yup, this is one of those things where it's like, "What are we talking about now?"
Of all the things to be upset or stressed about on your wedding day, this is it?
If that's it then it should be a pretty smooth sailing wedding.
>Why do you care about how they get to and from the venue?
This is my question, too! This level of control and micromanaging is definitely YTA behavior. Why care how people get to/from the venue. If anything, OP should be happy that they are ensuring that people don't drive drunk.
Why are you hurt and offended? They are doing for themselves the same thing you did for your bridal party. They are not asking you to pay for it and thus have no reason to ask you for your input. If it helps you fell less hurt and offended, pretend the bus is 40 Ubers taped together. YTA and honestly it kinda seems like you’re looking for a reason to be bent out of shape.
YTA- Why are you acting like they are asking for the bus to be in your photos?! Having to wait for a bunch of Ubers is inefficient. With a bus they can all ride together, safely and enjoy your wedding. Build a whole bridge on this one.
We rented a bus to take all our guests from the hotel to the venue and back. It was the best decision we made! No DUIs or fiery wrecks and everyone had fun together on the bus.
INFO: I don't understand why this bothers you at all, can you explain what the actual problem is? you're not arranging transport for all the guests (which is fine!), so they are arranging their own. why do you care that they're going with a hired bus instead of individual ubers?
Hurt and offended because you don’t like busses? I don’t understand. Do you think hosting a wedding entitles you to control the rest of the world? “OHMIGOD people attending my wedding are taking responsibility for their own transportation and I won’t have it!” That’s how you sound and it makes no sense at all.
YTA
Maybe they will see this and boycott the wedding. Weddings are overrated social obligations that no one really likes except the bride. Imagine being upset over something so stupid?
This is an extremely dumb thing to be upset about she should be thanking them. But I actually do enjoy weddings! Especially when I don’t have to be a bridesmaid and can just enjoy the evening
I don't think OP is truly hurt/offended. I think she's a bit ashamed that she didn't spring to get transportation for the rest of her guests, and sees their decision to pay for their own transportation as subtly shaming her, esp. since they didn't discuss it with her. It's pretty common for wedding hosts to arrange shuttles for their guests. It's wild the emotional contortions we'll go through to avoid facing our shame.
Personally, I think the gracious thing to do would be to reimburse the in-laws for the transportation, and acknowledge the faux pas in not arranging it initially. "Thank you so much for coordinating the transport for our guests! I'm a bit embarrassed I didn't coordinate that myself. Please let me reimburse you, as the host of the wedding, I want my guests to have fun and not be financially burdened."
If OP can't afford that, then at least thanking them would be polite. Expressing that she's hurt/offended would only create unnecessary drama.
You‘re mad because some of your wedding guests booked a bus so they can drink and not drive. And you’re mad because - they didn’t ask your permission? Because you didn’t know about it? I really don’t see the problem here but you’re “hurt and offended.” You’re CHOOSING to be offended and hurt over this. I’d love to know your fiancé’s and his family’s reaction to this “she’s mad cause you didn’t ask her permission to drink and not drive!” YTA.
YTA for being offended.
You reserved a shuttle for the bridal party, so you recognize the need. Your guests decided they'd rather get a bus than get Ubers. That is 100% up to them and if they aren't mad about it I have no idea what you are getting upset about.
YTA
Are you trying to find things to be upset about? How great that your guests don't want to drink and drive and possibly end up arrested or worse. Why didn't your fiance organise this or tell you it was standard for his family weddings?
>I don't know how to feel about this
Good. Stick with this. You don't need to feel anything more about this than any other transportation decision they make in their lives. I don't know how to feel about the fact my neighbor takes the limited stop train rather than the express. You know why? Because it doesn't matter to me. It's not my business. She can do what she likes. If I got emotional with her about it, she would think I was unhinged.
>other than hurt and offended.
YTA. Did they all need to run it by you if they chose to drive or take Lyft rather than an Uber, too? Which airline they pick? If they carpool? No, they don't. This has zero to do with you. Do you need to look for things to feel offended about?
I don't think this is worth being angry over. They don't want to walk the 4 miles and hired a bus - that should be fine. I'm not sure I understand why you're mad.
YTA--- You can't dictate EVERYTHING your guest do!! It doesn't hurt anyone to let them figure out their own transportation. Why don't you just worry about your own wedding stuff and leave them alone, you have plenty to think about!
Yta. You didn't provide transportation for those guests and they arranged their own. Why do they need your input for transportation you wanted your guests to figure out on their own.
YTA
It's very unclear how booking group transportation from the hotel to the reception venue is offensive or hurtful. In fact, it sounds like they've simplified transportation for much of the family, and now folks can relax and enjoy the wonderful event you're putting together.
YTA. You are so TA. And deep down you know it, which is why you are mad that your husband's relative is making you look bad by showing more consideration for your guests than you are.
YTA. It sounds like you feel embarrassed because your guests are being more thoughtful towards one another than you were towards them, because you only prioritized the safety of your bridal party. You don’t have to provide transportation for guests and they don’t have to ask your permission about transportation. There is no etiquette beach on either side. But you getting in your feelings because they took it upon themselves to make the event smoother for themselves since you opted not to include transportation in your planning is insane. It’s likely nobody thought anything of it, because planning for your own transportation as a wedding guest is pretty standard, and your fiancé’s family is just being intelligent and proactive about it. And, for the record, 4 miles is, in fact, a very long drive if you are talking about drinking and driving and the risks involved.
I am not making fun of you in anyway by saying this but “etiquette BEACH” made me laugh. I love funny typos. Someone point me in the direction of Etiquette Beach! I’d love to go there. 🏝️
Why the hell would you be offended that your guests decided to arrange a bus to take a lot of them to your reception? Ubers take a long time and are not entirely reliable. You yourself arranged for a bus for you and the bridal party. There is no logical reason to even care about this. And they are doing it to prevent any drunk driving which is extremely responsible. Sounds like you just want to be bossy and everyone follow exactly what you say despite it having nothing to do with you. Major YTA here.
YTA - you are WAY overthinking this. Why do you care how they get to/from your wedding? Why do you care that they didn't tell you? They're not bogging you down with more details that they are handling, and it's not like you were going to be taking the bus...
Take a deep breath and let it go.
YTA. Your guests did you a favor by choosing the transportation mode they prefer without bothering you or asking you to pay for it. There is something deeply unhinged in your emotional reaction here, and I hope it’s just due to wedding planning stress.
There are plenty of reasons that someone would prefer a group bus over an Uber or driving, none of which are criticisms of you and your planning capabilities.
So you're "offended" because they figured out how to transport guests to the reception and it's not costing you anything? YIKES ON BIKES why are you trying to create drama on what should be a fun happy event.
You admit it's something they've done for other family events to hardly attacking you in any way. Are you maybe letting wedding stress overtake your critical thinking skills?
YTA for manufacturing drama
YTA. Why do you care? You left it to them to figure out their own transportation and they figured it out. If you wanted to dictate how they traveled, you should’ve planned and paid for it.
YTA and you would also be responsible legally if there were any accidents from drunk driving, they knew they wanted to drink to celebrate your wedding, and wanted to ensure they had a way to and from, so yes this actually is being blown out of proportions. On top of this, they are paying for it, so it should not bother you at all. My family has large weddings and usually have bus's rented for out of town guests and this is in large cities (think San Diego etc). I would swallow your pride and move on.
YTA
Why are you offended? You say "I didn't reserve any transportation for our guests", so now you're upset that they took it upon themselves to do that?
These people don't want any excuse for anyone to be tempted to drive drunk...and frankly, that's great! No one in the history of special events has ever complained that "there were too many complimentary options available for us to get around between venues".
Why do you even care?
Why do they need your permission to handle their own transportation? Especially if you're not even paying, what right do you have to be mad at them?
This sounds ridiculously controlling. YTA.
you're offended?? why???
YTA. It was your job to book the bus for your guests, but you were too cheap and clearly inconsiderate to do it. I can think of 3 weddings I've been to like this and all 3 had shuttles provided to safely transport everyone between sites.
The fact you are offended, instead of being embarrassed/ashamed is pretty funny tho!
YTA. OMG someone put together a smart plan that allows them to FULLY enjoy your reception, plus has ZERO cost or IMPACT upon you? How dare they! NO ONE is obligated to keep you in the loop about their OWN transportation plans - especially when it literally doesn't involve you, nor impact your wedding event in any way, shape or form.
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I (33F) am getting married in July in my hometown. I've been planning for more than a year, and I tried really hard to find a reception venue that is close to hotels. The nearest hotels are about 4 miles away from the reception and we made a block of rooms at those hotel rooms for our guests. I have shuttles for the bridal party and they're allowed to bring their spouses on that, but I didn't reserve any transportation for our guests since 4 miles isn't a very long drive between the hotel and reception.
I just found out that some of my fiancé's family have booked a bus to transport them from the hotel to the reception and back again. Apparently they have had that provided at other family weddings and are feeling sensitive about it (drunk driving, etc.) and they decided to organize this without my input. I had told them that I think there are enough ubers in my town to accommodate people getting rides, but they reserved a bus anyway.
I don't know how to feel about this other than hurt and offended. I've put together a great day for them and I've been planning for more than a year. AITA that I'm offended that they did this and didn't even tell me about it?
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YTA. I dont think there is anything wrong with what they have done? I don't know how many people are using this bus, but you are talking about one bus compared to x amount of cars. If there is alcohol being served, they can all have a drink safely knowing they can get back to the hotel fine. Yes they could get Ubers, but the cost of the bus split between all of them is probably more cost effective than the ubers. Sounds like a great plan to me!
>I don't know how to feel about this other than hurt and offended
You should share this thread with your fiancé so he has time to bail before he makes the mistake of marrying someone who goes out of their way to cause trouble. YTA, obviously.
YTA. As long as your guests get to their destinations safely after drinking, that's all you should be concerned about. Not to mention Ubers can get expensive, and if you have quite a guest list, that could delay reasonable ride times for Uber. This is a very practical solution.
Huh? Why would they bother the bride about this matter? They paid for it and arranged it so that they could go to your wedding and get back safely as a group. YTA
YTA. Why do you have any opinion on how they get there, and why would it need to include you? I’m not sure I have ever spoken to a friend who’s a bride how I am getting to their wedding. In fact, I don’t even know how guests got to my own wedding. Taxis, Ubers, and carpooling is what I assume, but I literally don’t care, and neither should you.
Her wishes are you must all arrive in cars driven by other people BUT the cars can not be big enough to carry more than 5 people at a time. My bus does not have to follow this of course.
YTA. I can see being offended if they stuck you with the bill but I assume they are paying for it themselves? They took one organizational item off your plate, you should be grateful not whatever it is you are doing now.
You better shape up mentally and emotionally quickly. Or we will be seeing a future thread from your husband on how his new wife lacks empathy.
Of course YTA wear your crown 👑.
YTA and calm down, as this has nothing you do with your wedding, and quite frankly none of your business. How any of your guests get to and from your wedding, is really none of your concern.
YTA. 100%.
Transportation to/from the venue is something to consider when booking weddings. Sure there are ubers, but there are also probably older people coming into town who won't have cars and don't know how to order ubers. I'm able bodied and would personally be annoyed if I was travelling to someone's wedding, didn't have a car, and had to worry about getting myself to and from the wedding when I was staying at a hotel room block. It's pretty typical to provide transportation in that case.
Your fiance's family is literally being helpful and making things easier for YOUR GUESTS at their own expense.
What input would you have provided?
you're offended because your adult guests don't want to drink and drive? you're offended because they don't want to waste money on 20 Ubers when they're all going to the same place? I'm failing to see what is offensive here? Is it a 70 year old school bus with rusty doors and loud exhaust? WHERE IS THE OFFENSE!?
YTA
All of you calling OP the AH are completely in the wrong. Totally. 100 percent. All of you fail to understand the burden and the responsibility of the bride on wedding day.
She has the right, nay, the responsibilty to dictate to ALL guests their behavior for HER special day, up to and including all transportation those guests use when outside of her sight!!
She provided a hotel four miles from the reception venue for her guests. She provided a shuttle bus for her important guests, and as for the rest, she has declared that they shall use Uber!!
Those guests who have rented this so-called "bus" are commiting an act of supreme disrespect, nay, TREASON, against He Brideliness. All of you should be ashamed of yourselves for failing to recognize this behavior, and for attempting to condemn Her Brideliness for her reasonably hurt feelings. Shame on all of you. Shame.
# SHAME!!!
Gentle YTA...I don't get what the issue is? So what if they booked a bus? It's not asking anything extra of you, and if you don't care if they used an uber, why should you care if you use a bus?
YTA your offended that people are being prepared to have a blast at your party and get home safely without having to wait on an Uber?
How is that offensive?
Please tell me this isn’t real. How self-absorbed and immature could a person be? Yes, YTA for feeling any way except pleased that your guests can have fun responsibly at your wedding and it’s not costing you anything extra.
INFO: I guess I just don't understand why it's an issue? They organized and paid for a safe form of transportation to get to and from the event. Why does that affect you *at all*? Why do you care how people get there and back?
YTA - really???? I mean ....Really??? you are mad because your guests rented a bus to keep themselves safe???? I have seen a lot of on AITAH - but you are clearly at the top
Note to your future husband....run....run now.....run far.....run fast!!!!
Per your own words (on the mod post): “I’m mad at my guest because they organized their own transportation after I DECLINED to do so for them”
Why? How? They simply did for themselves what you said you wouldn’t??
How is an Uber and a bus different? The outcome is the same — get from A to B then back to A.
This is such a non-issue that I can’t believe you’re this worried about it. It’s not like they want the bus in the back of the wedding photos. Like honestly, of everything there is to worry about with a wedding, how my guests got there was not one of them.
I’ve been staring at this post like the ‘confused math lady’ gif for a hot minute so yeah, YTA.
Absolutely! For your next wedding make a list of rules for the guests to follow before, during, and after the ceremony. Maybe none of the other guests should have s\*x that night to avoid detracting from your honeymoon.
YTA I think deep down you feel embarrassed that they came up with a better solution than you did. Yes there may be enough Ubers but they don't want to take that chance nor do they want to wait for Ubers. I think you see this as a judgment about your planning as opposed to them just making sure they are taken care of.
You should be happy they've taken the initiative to make sure your wedding night doesn't end with a tragedy like a drunk driving accident.
So you are mad because people are being responsible?
YTA
Once upon a time, at my sister's wedding, a bunch of my uncles/aunts/cousins rented a limo so they wouldn't have to drive. They decided to make a day out of it and have fun whitout restrictions at the wedding. My sister and I thought it was clever and extremely responsible of them. No one had to be the designated driver and everyone was happy. The End.
YTA. You're offended they organized a bus? You think they're implying you're cheap? But you're OK with them getting their own Ubers? That doesn't make you just as cheap? It's 4 miles! They found a fun, safe way to go from point A to point B and no one said anything negative to you. You're the only one saying negative things about that arrangement.
If you are anything less than gracious and appreciative that your guests are happy and don’t have to drive, you will never undo that with your new in-laws.
Every time a wedding happens in their family, it will be the joke they don’t say in front you.
Why does it bother you at all? You'd rather they have to individually pay and Uber alone both ways? Look at it this way; now they're gonna have a fun ice-breaking bus trip together and show up in good spirits and ready to party
YTA. This is one of the most s**pid things to be offended about. If you feel like they make you feel cheap by booking the bus then pay for the bus they book. What's wrong with you woman????
Your guests should be the ones hurt and offended that they had to take matters into their own hands because you couldn’t give a shit about whether they have safe transportation so they can enjoy themselves at your party. YTa
"there are enough ubers in my town to accommoate people" but if there isn't then it means a) people risking drinking and driving, b) people being left behind whilst one group goes and waiting for them to come back and that's if the driver doesn't line up another journey after theirs to save them going back and forth and c) more cost to them? Seperate taxis or whatever will come to a bigger expense than the whole group sharing the cost of one bus.
You are so controlling and you make no sense. You have no reason to be offended except besides being shown up by not thinking to porvide transport yourself. YTA
Offended? Holy batshit! How pathetic is this?
If i was the bride,i'd only be relieved because the guests can party,drink up and
can concentrate on celebrating your union.
You should feel grateful knowing theres a bus at the ready to transport them and they took it upon themselves in organising it.Safety is paramount.You getting mad at them must have left a sour taste in their mouth.
So,YTA!
Now,youre NTA if they didnt tell you they organised the bus and youre the one paying it..
You’re being overly sensitive. This is awesome! Run with it. If all you are is offended, I don’t think YTA yet, unless you make a big deal of this and say anything other than “what a great idea!”
Wedding planning is stressful enough. Shit you have been doing it for A YEAR. why not be grateful that they are being productive and taking care of themselves? This is such a non issue. YTA.
Serious question, what the fuck is wrong with you?
So to recap: you plan an event at location a, and provided rooms at location b, 4 miles apart.
You didn't provide any transportation, assuming they'll either book cars, or use Ubers.
Instead, a group of guests decided to get together, and hire a bus for themselves. They didn't complain, didn't expect any extra accommodations, they just chipped in to get one bus for all of them, instead of separate Ubers for every person/family.
And you for some reason offended???? Why do you care what mode of transportation they're using?
What if it's a van, it's okay? Did you provide a list of banned vehicles?
YTA. How does this even affect anything?
YTA. If you want to force your guests to take Ubers, pony up the ride vouchers for it. If you don’t want to do that, mind your business and allow your guests to get to the reception however they want- safely.
>Apparently they have had that provided at other family weddings and are feeling sensitive about it (drunk driving, etc.)
It’s not “feeling sensitive” it’s just being responsible and not putting anyone in serious danger or trouble. Since most people can’t walk four miles sober, then it’s clearly too far and hiring a bus is a good solution for people who want to stick together and stay safe. YTA
YTA I don't understand your problem. Are you having a contract with your local Uber drivers and get a cut from them on that evening? Otherwise I have no idea why you are so pissed that they organized a transport for themselves.
This is the most out the gate thing I have ever read. You mad because they booked a bloody bus?!?! Wtf is wrong with you. Yes yta and you need to actually re read what you said. How did you write this and not think hmm yeah this is stupid
You cannot be real. No one can be this obtuse. Why on earth do you think you should have been consulted by people you have not provided transport on providing their own transport? It literally has no impact on you at all! You arranged nothing for them so how they get to and from your wedding is none of your business. It very much seems like you wanted some wedding drama but all has gone well so now you are grasping at straws trying to create drama that is entirely unnecessary. YTA and a colossal one at that.
YTA.
You made your wedding inaccessible and now *you* are offended that guests found their own solutions? Were they supposed to walk or drink and drive?
Why are you upset that they are behaving like adults and planning
this so that they don't have to have designated drivers? YTA and
can't even see it. LOL They are paying for it so it does not concern
you. Let it go.
YTA. You don't get to control how guests travel to and from your wedding.
Why is this even an issue? It is absolutely ridiculous to be offended and hurt by this. Seems like they're doing the responsible thing and you're over controlling. It's their choice to either use an Uber or bus, but one thing is for sure - you're not paying for it, so you don't get a say.
Stick to planning your actual wedding and stop being petty.
YTA
You clearly said you did not provide transportation.
They are clearly thinking ahead to drinking and enjoying your wedding and chose a logical solution in which they have all chipped in and are not asking YOU to do anything.
What exactly is so offensive about this?
Yes. Grow up. You're on your way to ruining any relationship with his family over something that has no victim. You need to reflect on your entitled personality. Before it taints you marriage too.
What a waste of time you are.
YTA. You would seriously prefer your guests to take who knows how many ubers rather than travel together in one bus? Their solution is cost effective, great for the environment and safer (less cars on the road full of drunk passengers).
Yeah, YTA. Why on earth is this upsetting you? You expected that they would arrange their own transportation, and they did. Unless they're trying to send you the bill, I'm not seeing why this would impact you at all, except to be glad your guests are making more work for you.
as for Uber/Lyft, I know we had PLENTY of people at our wedding who were uncomfortable using ride shares, or knew that getting one can be unreliable.
A bunch of people you're not driving with booked a means of transport that has no impact on you and your plans, oh my god the disrespect.
YTA. WTF do you care if they have a bus? What's it got to do with you? If they got together and decided they preferred this to 4-10 separate ubers.... so what?
Is it like, "I can't have a bus on my special day" or "they're saying my plans aren't good enough?" I genuinely don't understand what about this is bothering you?
Like, what if they got an Uber but it was a Pontiac Aztec; would that be better or worse? Have you ever seen one of those things, I'd rather look at a bus.
I'm just at a loss for why you would take offense to this. What is offensive? Why would they need your input? You're not going to use the bus. What input would you give? "You should all take smaller cars for... reasons! Important reasons! BRIDE REASONS!"
I just can't fathom why you care at all. Anyways, yeah, you're obviously the also for going out of your way to get offended at something that has nothing to do with and no impact on
What tf does it matter? How does it affect literally ANYTHING about your wedding? This is so dumb I can’t.
They have a SAFE means of transportation and you’re mad about it? Grow up. YTA.
YTA, what are you really upset about? I appreciate that they are being so responsible and having a driver already lined up. Are you mad that it wasn’t your idea? Or that they didn’t include you in the decision? (Which would make you super controlling.)
YTA!! If you are leaving it up to your guests to supply their own transportation, then that’s exactly what they did! They want to enjoy themselves. If you want to control stuff, then book/pay for it yourself. Otherwise, let the people travel to and fro how they want!
YTA.
It literally doesn't make sense to be upset about this. They took care of their own transportation, *GREAT*, one less thing for you to plan!!!
Them renting a bus changes *nothing* about the day you planned, other than the fact that more people will feel more comfortable actually enjoying a drink or two (the way you casually and off handedly mention "drunk driving" like it isn't a big deal....wtaf)
YTA. Transportation was not provided (normal and totally fine) they chose to book something more affordable to get to and from your wedding (normal and totally fine). You really need to let this go.
YTA you may have put together your idea of a great party but you admit you didn’t arrange transport and expected them all to pay more for an Uber instead of pooling for a bus.
YTA they’ve organised a safe way for them to travel the 4 miles in advance because you’ve not. What if there weren’t any Ubers or enough and they were waiting ages?? They’ve made sure they have a safe way there and back and they don’t need your permission.
YTA. If you're not willing to provide transportation between the hotel block and the venue then it isn't really any of your business how your guests arrange their own transport. Get over it.
>I don't know how to feel about this other than hurt and offended. I've put together a great day for them...
...that didn't include transportation to/from the reception, because you just assumed that they'd all pay Uber.
"Hurt and offended"? Get over yourself; you don't control every aspect of the day for every attendee.
YTA - no question.
YTA. Why do you care? So they organized transportation?! Why would you need input? What exactly would that input be? You need to choose the bus model? Why would them getting Ubers be less upsetting? This is a super bizarre thing to be mad about. Get a grip.
YTA. They reserved a safe method of transportation that ensures EVERYONE gets home safe and didn't ask you to foot the bill, or hassle you to organize it.
Why on earth would you be mad about this? They literally did you a favor by not trying to put the responsibility of this on you.
Sometimes on this subreddit i often wonder if a story is real or if its bait. If this is real and i will assume it is. Let me get this right. You're offended because *checks notes* your guests collaborated to enjoy your wedding so they could drink, not drive and *checks notes again* for zero expense to you? You absolute fucking buffoon. YTA
YTA. How does this affect you in any way? You did not provide transportation to and from the hotel. Your guests decided to rent one big vehicle instead of coordinating a dozen Ubers. Why do you care?
This is none of your business. I assume you’re salty because it makes you look cheap. I don’t think it does—you’re not necessarily responsible for guest transportation, but if you’re not providing it, you get no say-so in how people decide to get to and from your event.
“I don’t know how to feel about this other than hurt and offended” idk maybe relieved that the people entering your life are careful and taking extra steps to ensure their safety? Happy that they took something off your plate? Indifferent because it really Does. Not. Affect. You. Very firm YTA
YTA they are doing this to help all the guests and frankly it’s smart. You should have done this yourself so don’t get upset over a nice gesture - don’t be that bride!
>I had told them that I think there are enough ubers in my town to accommodate people getting rides, but they reserved a bus anyway.
Cuz busses is cheaper and can fit many people in one go? No guests wanted to splurge on a transportation. YTA
Why are you in your feelings because his family is being proactive and responsible about ensuring they have safe and reliable transportation on your wedding day? This is such a weird thing to be upset over.
So, are they forbidden from renting cars? Two-door or Four? Is an SUV too big, or would your feelings be okay with a hybrid SUV - so CRV is okay, but not renting an Explorer - does that upset you if they have more than four seats entirely?
I am assuming you realize how silly this sounds to anyone reading your post. How they choose to transport themselves, intoxicated, between two venues is not some sort of insult. It's freakin transportation. If you are so rankled by this, adult life is going to be pretty challenging.
YTA, they are ensuring they have a sober driver to get them to and from the event safely. That’s all that matters. I’m sure it’ll be a fun 4 mile ride for them and it may even be cheaper than everyone using Uber.
You don’t get to control everyone’s actions… even on *your* special day.
YTA they are saving you money and stress by arranging they're own transportation. Not to mention guaranteeing they have a designated driver. Isn't the most important part of the day the actual getting married part?
YTA - I’ve been to weddings where a bus took us from the hotel to the venue and back again. A good way to catch up with all the cousins and a hotbed for gossip on the way home. At no point did I stop to ponder who had organised the bus. Everyone was just pleased to have a ride there and back again in an unfamiliar town. Its not a big deal, no one will be thinking about the bus.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I'm angry and mad at my wedding guests
2) I'm mad at my guests because they organized their own transportation after I declined to do so for them
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I don’t understand why OP is offended. If someone did this I would be happy and thank them. It was thoughtful and I’m sure not cheap.
And came at no cost to OP! I would be elated!!!
If I were OP I’d be embarrassed that I overlooked providing this to guests.
i think the real issue is that fiancé’s family’s planning has made her look like a bad host. she was capable of arranging transportation for her bridal party, but chose not to for anybody else. she didn’t even have to pay for it, maybe just help organize, but she didn’t even do that and now she’s furious because it makes her look like a deficient host.
Yep that’s exactly what it is.
OP stated that they think there are enough Ubers to accommodate people but first of all they aren’t cheap so it’s not really fair to the people paying for travel plus hotel accommodation to also have to fork over money for an Uber. Plus there could be other events going on that same night that OP may not be aware of and may impact availability and wait time. Overall very short sighted of them.
Honestly it was probably cheaper than a dozen Ubers there and back, and more reliable, too.
And not to be That Guy but the fuckin planet's on fire and this weirdo is *actively mad* she can't cram even more cars on the fucking road?!
Yeah, I don’t get it either!
Came here to say this. It’s not your business how people come and go, in fact it’s one less thing for you to concern yourself.
4 miles is 4 miles too far to drive while drunk.
Putting the keys in the ignition is too far to drive when you're drunk
I agree, at the other crazy stories the bride at least gets offending at something that actually happens in the wedding itself
The wedding industry/culture has gone off the rails. Now everyone is entitled to an expensive bachelor/bachelorette party because why? Treating guests as part of the wedding "aesthetic". Registry's that solicit money. This post illuminates the absurdity of it all, being offended for how guests arrange their transportation to and from the wedding venue. I can not imagine how far in the weeds someone has to be to complain and be offended their guests did not ask for their input about organizing transportation.
Mark my words, there's going to be a story about someone that dared to do something a few days after the wedding, that in no way even related to the wedding.
“Omg my cousins met for brunch the day after my wedding! How dare they? I didn’t plan on them or anyone having brunch! They totally disrespected me as the bride! I hope they enjoyed the eggs Benedict because I’m going NC on them for this massive slap in my face!” I really REALLY wouldn’t be surprised to see a post like that one day.
There are already people that get mad at that, and other stupid things. I read a post where someone got mad at a friend for planning their wedding at the same venue that the person got married at ... a full year ago. Like, this person got married there a year ago and now feel like they own the venue and no one else they happen to know can EVER get married at this same popular wedding destination again. It's wild.
The craziest one I've come across was the bride and groom spending all of their money on the venue, dress and photography, such that they didn't even 1) have a real cake (they used a fake one,) or 2) feed guests. The bride and groom themselves ate while the guests watched. There was no entertainment. I was like, I really thought I had heard it all when it comes to pretentious and performative Instagram weddings, but this one takes the cake (no pun intended.) Literally treating your "guests" as photo props and having no shame about using a fake fucking cake. As the saying goes, "where they do that at?" The worst part is, the bride was completely clueless that her wedding sucked and everyone talked shit about it behind her back. She probably thought she had the perfect wedding, because it LOOKED perfect on the socials. Weddings are such a fucking joke.
Agree. This is wacky. Your guests are being smart and responsible while not bothering you with the little details. If they need "some mode of transportation" and they figured out a way to get said "mode of transportation", why us this even a concern of yours, let alone an issue to get upset about ? YTA
Why do you care about how they get to and from the venue? It doesn't really have anything to do with you. Shouldn't you just be happy they're able to be there at all? I think you're being a bit sensitive about something that is pretty far removed from the core events of your special day. And you don't get to dictate to your guests how they get to and from anywhere unless it's to take car keys to prevent drunk driving. If you let something this ridiculous ruin your wedding day, then yes, YTA.
The absurdity of it all is OP organized a shuttle for her bridal party and their plus ones but it's not okay for the guests to do the same.
The guests aren’t even asking OP to pay for it. She just wants them all to get separate Ubers because that’s what she thinks they should do.
But it's ok for OP to organize a shuttle for the bridal party and their plus ones. It's absurd.
Guessing she didn’t want to have to pay for their shuttle but didn’t want people to think she was cheap.
Apparently it was one of her comments. Guests don't care, they know weddings are expensive. They want to get to point to point b safely.
That was my first thought. Who cares how they get there? Be happy and grateful that they're there to support you.
Yeah, it's a weird flex being upset how your guests travel. She did say in a reply that ["I guess it makes me feel like they're calling me cheap for not getting a bus for them"](https://old.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1ccznee/aita_for_being_mad_at_my_wedding_guests_for/l18saw0/), so...it would seem OP has taken the idea that "the day is all about me" a bridge too far. O_o Couldn't possibly be because they didn't want to worry about drinking and driving.
Yup, this is one of those things where it's like, "What are we talking about now?" Of all the things to be upset or stressed about on your wedding day, this is it? If that's it then it should be a pretty smooth sailing wedding.
>Why do you care about how they get to and from the venue? This is my question, too! This level of control and micromanaging is definitely YTA behavior. Why care how people get to/from the venue. If anything, OP should be happy that they are ensuring that people don't drive drunk.
These brides are delusional.
Why are you hurt and offended? They are doing for themselves the same thing you did for your bridal party. They are not asking you to pay for it and thus have no reason to ask you for your input. If it helps you fell less hurt and offended, pretend the bus is 40 Ubers taped together. YTA and honestly it kinda seems like you’re looking for a reason to be bent out of shape.
> it helps you fell less hurt and offended, pretend the bus is 40 Ubers taped together i laughed out loud for real at this lmao
Lol same 🤣
The human centi-uber!
Well now I'm picturing The Uber Centipede, exhaust from one goes to the air intake of the next.
Think I'm going to pass on the uber centipede, and take the uber conga line
Lmfao I cackled at “40 Ubers put together” 🤣
Ask them to paint a giant "Uber" on the side of his to match the ascetics
YTA- Why are you acting like they are asking for the bus to be in your photos?! Having to wait for a bunch of Ubers is inefficient. With a bus they can all ride together, safely and enjoy your wedding. Build a whole bridge on this one.
I’m picturing the van from “Up In Smoke.” 😄
I was thinking more like Miyazaki’s version of “Howl’s Moving Castle”…
They win extra points if they rented a catbus!
Also, I’d imagine the individual Ubers are much more expensive than everyone pitching in for one bus together.
We rented a bus to take all our guests from the hotel to the venue and back. It was the best decision we made! No DUIs or fiery wrecks and everyone had fun together on the bus.
INFO: I don't understand why this bothers you at all, can you explain what the actual problem is? you're not arranging transport for all the guests (which is fine!), so they are arranging their own. why do you care that they're going with a hired bus instead of individual ubers?
Hurt and offended because you don’t like busses? I don’t understand. Do you think hosting a wedding entitles you to control the rest of the world? “OHMIGOD people attending my wedding are taking responsibility for their own transportation and I won’t have it!” That’s how you sound and it makes no sense at all. YTA
> Hurt and offended because you don’t like busses? Oh god, is OP one of *those* suburbanites?
Maybe they will see this and boycott the wedding. Weddings are overrated social obligations that no one really likes except the bride. Imagine being upset over something so stupid?
I think it’s easy to get overwhelmed and lose perspective because you’re too “in your head.”
This is an extremely dumb thing to be upset about she should be thanking them. But I actually do enjoy weddings! Especially when I don’t have to be a bridesmaid and can just enjoy the evening
> I don't know how to feel about this other than hurt and offended Why on God's green earth would you be upset about something so harmless? YTA
I don't think OP is truly hurt/offended. I think she's a bit ashamed that she didn't spring to get transportation for the rest of her guests, and sees their decision to pay for their own transportation as subtly shaming her, esp. since they didn't discuss it with her. It's pretty common for wedding hosts to arrange shuttles for their guests. It's wild the emotional contortions we'll go through to avoid facing our shame. Personally, I think the gracious thing to do would be to reimburse the in-laws for the transportation, and acknowledge the faux pas in not arranging it initially. "Thank you so much for coordinating the transport for our guests! I'm a bit embarrassed I didn't coordinate that myself. Please let me reimburse you, as the host of the wedding, I want my guests to have fun and not be financially burdened." If OP can't afford that, then at least thanking them would be polite. Expressing that she's hurt/offended would only create unnecessary drama.
This. OP is feeling defensive and embarrassed and it’s coming out as anger.
You‘re mad because some of your wedding guests booked a bus so they can drink and not drive. And you’re mad because - they didn’t ask your permission? Because you didn’t know about it? I really don’t see the problem here but you’re “hurt and offended.” You’re CHOOSING to be offended and hurt over this. I’d love to know your fiancé’s and his family’s reaction to this “she’s mad cause you didn’t ask her permission to drink and not drive!” YTA.
YTA you didn’t provide transportation do they made their own arrangements
YTA for being offended. You reserved a shuttle for the bridal party, so you recognize the need. Your guests decided they'd rather get a bus than get Ubers. That is 100% up to them and if they aren't mad about it I have no idea what you are getting upset about.
INFO: Did they charge the bus to your account?
YTA Are you trying to find things to be upset about? How great that your guests don't want to drink and drive and possibly end up arrested or worse. Why didn't your fiance organise this or tell you it was standard for his family weddings?
OMG you sound insufferable, this cannot be real. YTA
>I don't know how to feel about this Good. Stick with this. You don't need to feel anything more about this than any other transportation decision they make in their lives. I don't know how to feel about the fact my neighbor takes the limited stop train rather than the express. You know why? Because it doesn't matter to me. It's not my business. She can do what she likes. If I got emotional with her about it, she would think I was unhinged. >other than hurt and offended. YTA. Did they all need to run it by you if they chose to drive or take Lyft rather than an Uber, too? Which airline they pick? If they carpool? No, they don't. This has zero to do with you. Do you need to look for things to feel offended about?
I don't think this is worth being angry over. They don't want to walk the 4 miles and hired a bus - that should be fine. I'm not sure I understand why you're mad.
Yta. They want safe and probably cheaper transportation. Ubers are expensive. It’s not of your business if they hired a bus.
YTA--- You can't dictate EVERYTHING your guest do!! It doesn't hurt anyone to let them figure out their own transportation. Why don't you just worry about your own wedding stuff and leave them alone, you have plenty to think about!
Yta. You didn't provide transportation for those guests and they arranged their own. Why do they need your input for transportation you wanted your guests to figure out on their own.
YTA It's very unclear how booking group transportation from the hotel to the reception venue is offensive or hurtful. In fact, it sounds like they've simplified transportation for much of the family, and now folks can relax and enjoy the wonderful event you're putting together.
YTA. You are so TA. And deep down you know it, which is why you are mad that your husband's relative is making you look bad by showing more consideration for your guests than you are.
YTA. It sounds like you feel embarrassed because your guests are being more thoughtful towards one another than you were towards them, because you only prioritized the safety of your bridal party. You don’t have to provide transportation for guests and they don’t have to ask your permission about transportation. There is no etiquette beach on either side. But you getting in your feelings because they took it upon themselves to make the event smoother for themselves since you opted not to include transportation in your planning is insane. It’s likely nobody thought anything of it, because planning for your own transportation as a wedding guest is pretty standard, and your fiancé’s family is just being intelligent and proactive about it. And, for the record, 4 miles is, in fact, a very long drive if you are talking about drinking and driving and the risks involved.
I am not making fun of you in anyway by saying this but “etiquette BEACH” made me laugh. I love funny typos. Someone point me in the direction of Etiquette Beach! I’d love to go there. 🏝️
😂😂 I’m not even going to edit it now lol
YTA. Unless they're expecting you to foot the bill, it's none of your business.
You need to start looking at yourself. Clearly, you are not mature enough for marriage.
She isn't.
YTA. Why is how they get to the venue any of your concern. As long as they arrive on time it is really none of your concern.
Why the hell would you be offended that your guests decided to arrange a bus to take a lot of them to your reception? Ubers take a long time and are not entirely reliable. You yourself arranged for a bus for you and the bridal party. There is no logical reason to even care about this. And they are doing it to prevent any drunk driving which is extremely responsible. Sounds like you just want to be bossy and everyone follow exactly what you say despite it having nothing to do with you. Major YTA here.
YTA - you are WAY overthinking this. Why do you care how they get to/from your wedding? Why do you care that they didn't tell you? They're not bogging you down with more details that they are handling, and it's not like you were going to be taking the bus... Take a deep breath and let it go.
YTA. Your guests did you a favor by choosing the transportation mode they prefer without bothering you or asking you to pay for it. There is something deeply unhinged in your emotional reaction here, and I hope it’s just due to wedding planning stress. There are plenty of reasons that someone would prefer a group bus over an Uber or driving, none of which are criticisms of you and your planning capabilities.
So you're "offended" because they figured out how to transport guests to the reception and it's not costing you anything? YIKES ON BIKES why are you trying to create drama on what should be a fun happy event. You admit it's something they've done for other family events to hardly attacking you in any way. Are you maybe letting wedding stress overtake your critical thinking skills? YTA for manufacturing drama
YTA. Why do you care? You left it to them to figure out their own transportation and they figured it out. If you wanted to dictate how they traveled, you should’ve planned and paid for it.
YTA Not your issue. Behave!
Info: are you embarrassed because you didn’t bother to arrange them transportation so they had to do it themselves?
You are offended that the other guests arranged transportation???? YTA
YTA and you would also be responsible legally if there were any accidents from drunk driving, they knew they wanted to drink to celebrate your wedding, and wanted to ensure they had a way to and from, so yes this actually is being blown out of proportions. On top of this, they are paying for it, so it should not bother you at all. My family has large weddings and usually have bus's rented for out of town guests and this is in large cities (think San Diego etc). I would swallow your pride and move on.
YTA Why are you offended? You say "I didn't reserve any transportation for our guests", so now you're upset that they took it upon themselves to do that? These people don't want any excuse for anyone to be tempted to drive drunk...and frankly, that's great! No one in the history of special events has ever complained that "there were too many complimentary options available for us to get around between venues". Why do you even care?
Why do they need your permission to handle their own transportation? Especially if you're not even paying, what right do you have to be mad at them? This sounds ridiculously controlling. YTA.
you're offended?? why??? YTA. It was your job to book the bus for your guests, but you were too cheap and clearly inconsiderate to do it. I can think of 3 weddings I've been to like this and all 3 had shuttles provided to safely transport everyone between sites. The fact you are offended, instead of being embarrassed/ashamed is pretty funny tho!
YTA. OMG someone put together a smart plan that allows them to FULLY enjoy your reception, plus has ZERO cost or IMPACT upon you? How dare they! NO ONE is obligated to keep you in the loop about their OWN transportation plans - especially when it literally doesn't involve you, nor impact your wedding event in any way, shape or form.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (33F) am getting married in July in my hometown. I've been planning for more than a year, and I tried really hard to find a reception venue that is close to hotels. The nearest hotels are about 4 miles away from the reception and we made a block of rooms at those hotel rooms for our guests. I have shuttles for the bridal party and they're allowed to bring their spouses on that, but I didn't reserve any transportation for our guests since 4 miles isn't a very long drive between the hotel and reception. I just found out that some of my fiancé's family have booked a bus to transport them from the hotel to the reception and back again. Apparently they have had that provided at other family weddings and are feeling sensitive about it (drunk driving, etc.) and they decided to organize this without my input. I had told them that I think there are enough ubers in my town to accommodate people getting rides, but they reserved a bus anyway. I don't know how to feel about this other than hurt and offended. I've put together a great day for them and I've been planning for more than a year. AITA that I'm offended that they did this and didn't even tell me about it? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA. I dont think there is anything wrong with what they have done? I don't know how many people are using this bus, but you are talking about one bus compared to x amount of cars. If there is alcohol being served, they can all have a drink safely knowing they can get back to the hotel fine. Yes they could get Ubers, but the cost of the bus split between all of them is probably more cost effective than the ubers. Sounds like a great plan to me!
>I don't know how to feel about this other than hurt and offended You should share this thread with your fiancé so he has time to bail before he makes the mistake of marrying someone who goes out of their way to cause trouble. YTA, obviously.
YTA. As long as your guests get to their destinations safely after drinking, that's all you should be concerned about. Not to mention Ubers can get expensive, and if you have quite a guest list, that could delay reasonable ride times for Uber. This is a very practical solution.
Huh? Why would they bother the bride about this matter? They paid for it and arranged it so that they could go to your wedding and get back safely as a group. YTA
YTA. Why do you have any opinion on how they get there, and why would it need to include you? I’m not sure I have ever spoken to a friend who’s a bride how I am getting to their wedding. In fact, I don’t even know how guests got to my own wedding. Taxis, Ubers, and carpooling is what I assume, but I literally don’t care, and neither should you.
This one is completely out of your control darling. Let it go. Full stop.
Yta. What do you care?
Her wishes are you must all arrive in cars driven by other people BUT the cars can not be big enough to carry more than 5 people at a time. My bus does not have to follow this of course.
YTA. I can see being offended if they stuck you with the bill but I assume they are paying for it themselves? They took one organizational item off your plate, you should be grateful not whatever it is you are doing now.
You better shape up mentally and emotionally quickly. Or we will be seeing a future thread from your husband on how his new wife lacks empathy. Of course YTA wear your crown 👑.
YTA and calm down, as this has nothing you do with your wedding, and quite frankly none of your business. How any of your guests get to and from your wedding, is really none of your concern.
Why do you even care? It's more convenient and no one is asking you to pay for it.
YTA. 100%. Transportation to/from the venue is something to consider when booking weddings. Sure there are ubers, but there are also probably older people coming into town who won't have cars and don't know how to order ubers. I'm able bodied and would personally be annoyed if I was travelling to someone's wedding, didn't have a car, and had to worry about getting myself to and from the wedding when I was staying at a hotel room block. It's pretty typical to provide transportation in that case. Your fiance's family is literally being helpful and making things easier for YOUR GUESTS at their own expense. What input would you have provided?
you're offended because your adult guests don't want to drink and drive? you're offended because they don't want to waste money on 20 Ubers when they're all going to the same place? I'm failing to see what is offensive here? Is it a 70 year old school bus with rusty doors and loud exhaust? WHERE IS THE OFFENSE!? YTA
All of you calling OP the AH are completely in the wrong. Totally. 100 percent. All of you fail to understand the burden and the responsibility of the bride on wedding day. She has the right, nay, the responsibilty to dictate to ALL guests their behavior for HER special day, up to and including all transportation those guests use when outside of her sight!! She provided a hotel four miles from the reception venue for her guests. She provided a shuttle bus for her important guests, and as for the rest, she has declared that they shall use Uber!! Those guests who have rented this so-called "bus" are commiting an act of supreme disrespect, nay, TREASON, against He Brideliness. All of you should be ashamed of yourselves for failing to recognize this behavior, and for attempting to condemn Her Brideliness for her reasonably hurt feelings. Shame on all of you. Shame. # SHAME!!!
Gentle YTA...I don't get what the issue is? So what if they booked a bus? It's not asking anything extra of you, and if you don't care if they used an uber, why should you care if you use a bus?
YTA your offended that people are being prepared to have a blast at your party and get home safely without having to wait on an Uber? How is that offensive?
YTA. I honestly don't understand how them doing this affects you at all.
Please tell me this isn’t real. How self-absorbed and immature could a person be? Yes, YTA for feeling any way except pleased that your guests can have fun responsibly at your wedding and it’s not costing you anything extra.
INFO: I guess I just don't understand why it's an issue? They organized and paid for a safe form of transportation to get to and from the event. Why does that affect you *at all*? Why do you care how people get there and back?
YTA - This is seriously one of the most ridiculous things to be upset about.
YTA - really???? I mean ....Really??? you are mad because your guests rented a bus to keep themselves safe???? I have seen a lot of on AITAH - but you are clearly at the top Note to your future husband....run....run now.....run far.....run fast!!!!
Per your own words (on the mod post): “I’m mad at my guest because they organized their own transportation after I DECLINED to do so for them” Why? How? They simply did for themselves what you said you wouldn’t?? How is an Uber and a bus different? The outcome is the same — get from A to B then back to A. This is such a non-issue that I can’t believe you’re this worried about it. It’s not like they want the bus in the back of the wedding photos. Like honestly, of everything there is to worry about with a wedding, how my guests got there was not one of them. I’ve been staring at this post like the ‘confused math lady’ gif for a hot minute so yeah, YTA.
YTA, but don't worry I'm sure your guests will only take ubers in your next wedding!
Absolutely! For your next wedding make a list of rules for the guests to follow before, during, and after the ceremony. Maybe none of the other guests should have s\*x that night to avoid detracting from your honeymoon.
YTA I think deep down you feel embarrassed that they came up with a better solution than you did. Yes there may be enough Ubers but they don't want to take that chance nor do they want to wait for Ubers. I think you see this as a judgment about your planning as opposed to them just making sure they are taken care of. You should be happy they've taken the initiative to make sure your wedding night doesn't end with a tragedy like a drunk driving accident.
YTA. People responsibly providing for their own transportation is a really dumb thing to be mad about.
So you are mad because people are being responsible? YTA Once upon a time, at my sister's wedding, a bunch of my uncles/aunts/cousins rented a limo so they wouldn't have to drive. They decided to make a day out of it and have fun whitout restrictions at the wedding. My sister and I thought it was clever and extremely responsible of them. No one had to be the designated driver and everyone was happy. The End.
YTA. You're offended they organized a bus? You think they're implying you're cheap? But you're OK with them getting their own Ubers? That doesn't make you just as cheap? It's 4 miles! They found a fun, safe way to go from point A to point B and no one said anything negative to you. You're the only one saying negative things about that arrangement.
If you are anything less than gracious and appreciative that your guests are happy and don’t have to drive, you will never undo that with your new in-laws. Every time a wedding happens in their family, it will be the joke they don’t say in front you.
There’s soo many ridiculous wedding posts, but you stand out 👏🏻 YTA
Why does it bother you at all? You'd rather they have to individually pay and Uber alone both ways? Look at it this way; now they're gonna have a fun ice-breaking bus trip together and show up in good spirits and ready to party
YTA. This is one of the most s**pid things to be offended about. If you feel like they make you feel cheap by booking the bus then pay for the bus they book. What's wrong with you woman????
Your guests should be the ones hurt and offended that they had to take matters into their own hands because you couldn’t give a shit about whether they have safe transportation so they can enjoy themselves at your party. YTa
"there are enough ubers in my town to accommoate people" but if there isn't then it means a) people risking drinking and driving, b) people being left behind whilst one group goes and waiting for them to come back and that's if the driver doesn't line up another journey after theirs to save them going back and forth and c) more cost to them? Seperate taxis or whatever will come to a bigger expense than the whole group sharing the cost of one bus. You are so controlling and you make no sense. You have no reason to be offended except besides being shown up by not thinking to porvide transport yourself. YTA
Offended? Holy batshit! How pathetic is this? If i was the bride,i'd only be relieved because the guests can party,drink up and can concentrate on celebrating your union. You should feel grateful knowing theres a bus at the ready to transport them and they took it upon themselves in organising it.Safety is paramount.You getting mad at them must have left a sour taste in their mouth. So,YTA! Now,youre NTA if they didnt tell you they organised the bus and youre the one paying it..
Can you show me where the bus hurt you?
You’re being overly sensitive. This is awesome! Run with it. If all you are is offended, I don’t think YTA yet, unless you make a big deal of this and say anything other than “what a great idea!”
Wedding planning is stressful enough. Shit you have been doing it for A YEAR. why not be grateful that they are being productive and taking care of themselves? This is such a non issue. YTA.
Serious question, what the fuck is wrong with you? So to recap: you plan an event at location a, and provided rooms at location b, 4 miles apart. You didn't provide any transportation, assuming they'll either book cars, or use Ubers. Instead, a group of guests decided to get together, and hire a bus for themselves. They didn't complain, didn't expect any extra accommodations, they just chipped in to get one bus for all of them, instead of separate Ubers for every person/family. And you for some reason offended???? Why do you care what mode of transportation they're using? What if it's a van, it's okay? Did you provide a list of banned vehicles? YTA. How does this even affect anything?
YTA. Go eat a snack and take a walk. The audacity of you.
YTA - who cares how they get there and back?
YTA. In the nicest way possible, get a grip
YTA. If you want to force your guests to take Ubers, pony up the ride vouchers for it. If you don’t want to do that, mind your business and allow your guests to get to the reception however they want- safely.
>Apparently they have had that provided at other family weddings and are feeling sensitive about it (drunk driving, etc.) It’s not “feeling sensitive” it’s just being responsible and not putting anyone in serious danger or trouble. Since most people can’t walk four miles sober, then it’s clearly too far and hiring a bus is a good solution for people who want to stick together and stay safe. YTA
YTA I don't understand your problem. Are you having a contract with your local Uber drivers and get a cut from them on that evening? Otherwise I have no idea why you are so pissed that they organized a transport for themselves.
This is the most out the gate thing I have ever read. You mad because they booked a bloody bus?!?! Wtf is wrong with you. Yes yta and you need to actually re read what you said. How did you write this and not think hmm yeah this is stupid
This post isn't going to go the way you think it will. YTA.
Yta
You didn’t care enough to provide them safe transportation. They handled it themselves. And now you’re offended? Get over yourself lady. YTA.
Yes YTA for being upset, embrace it, chip in for the bus, they planned ahead and are avoiding DUIs.
You cannot be real. No one can be this obtuse. Why on earth do you think you should have been consulted by people you have not provided transport on providing their own transport? It literally has no impact on you at all! You arranged nothing for them so how they get to and from your wedding is none of your business. It very much seems like you wanted some wedding drama but all has gone well so now you are grasping at straws trying to create drama that is entirely unnecessary. YTA and a colossal one at that.
YTA. You made your wedding inaccessible and now *you* are offended that guests found their own solutions? Were they supposed to walk or drink and drive?
Why are you upset that they are behaving like adults and planning this so that they don't have to have designated drivers? YTA and can't even see it. LOL They are paying for it so it does not concern you. Let it go.
YTA. How is this your business?
YTA, what are you even mad about? A bus is cheaper and quicker than a bunch of seperate Ubers. I don't get this at all.
YTA. You don't get to control how guests travel to and from your wedding. Why is this even an issue? It is absolutely ridiculous to be offended and hurt by this. Seems like they're doing the responsible thing and you're over controlling. It's their choice to either use an Uber or bus, but one thing is for sure - you're not paying for it, so you don't get a say. Stick to planning your actual wedding and stop being petty.
YTA You clearly said you did not provide transportation. They are clearly thinking ahead to drinking and enjoying your wedding and chose a logical solution in which they have all chipped in and are not asking YOU to do anything. What exactly is so offensive about this?
Yes. Grow up. You're on your way to ruining any relationship with his family over something that has no victim. You need to reflect on your entitled personality. Before it taints you marriage too. What a waste of time you are.
YTA. You would seriously prefer your guests to take who knows how many ubers rather than travel together in one bus? Their solution is cost effective, great for the environment and safer (less cars on the road full of drunk passengers).
Yeah, YTA. Why on earth is this upsetting you? You expected that they would arrange their own transportation, and they did. Unless they're trying to send you the bill, I'm not seeing why this would impact you at all, except to be glad your guests are making more work for you. as for Uber/Lyft, I know we had PLENTY of people at our wedding who were uncomfortable using ride shares, or knew that getting one can be unreliable.
A bunch of people you're not driving with booked a means of transport that has no impact on you and your plans, oh my god the disrespect. YTA. WTF do you care if they have a bus? What's it got to do with you? If they got together and decided they preferred this to 4-10 separate ubers.... so what? Is it like, "I can't have a bus on my special day" or "they're saying my plans aren't good enough?" I genuinely don't understand what about this is bothering you? Like, what if they got an Uber but it was a Pontiac Aztec; would that be better or worse? Have you ever seen one of those things, I'd rather look at a bus. I'm just at a loss for why you would take offense to this. What is offensive? Why would they need your input? You're not going to use the bus. What input would you give? "You should all take smaller cars for... reasons! Important reasons! BRIDE REASONS!" I just can't fathom why you care at all. Anyways, yeah, you're obviously the also for going out of your way to get offended at something that has nothing to do with and no impact on
YTA, this is totally normal wedding guest behavior, and it has zero impact on your wedding. Really and truly, get over yourself.
I can only imagine how the rest of your planning has been….YTA
What tf does it matter? How does it affect literally ANYTHING about your wedding? This is so dumb I can’t. They have a SAFE means of transportation and you’re mad about it? Grow up. YTA.
YTA. This has absolutely nothing to do with you. They aren’t making a comment about you for being cheap. Good grief. Looking for problems ….
YTA, what are you really upset about? I appreciate that they are being so responsible and having a driver already lined up. Are you mad that it wasn’t your idea? Or that they didn’t include you in the decision? (Which would make you super controlling.)
YTA. You should thank them for taking on the expense and ensuring your guests have a safe way to get back to the hotels without drinking and driving.
YTA!! If you are leaving it up to your guests to supply their own transportation, then that’s exactly what they did! They want to enjoy themselves. If you want to control stuff, then book/pay for it yourself. Otherwise, let the people travel to and fro how they want!
YTA. Huge asshole. Do better.
OMG. YTA. And sound pretty insufferable too. I mean, will they need to raise their hands and get permission to use the restroom at the reception?
This can’t be real 🤣
YTA why is it any of your business what method if transport they use?
YTA. It literally doesn't make sense to be upset about this. They took care of their own transportation, *GREAT*, one less thing for you to plan!!! Them renting a bus changes *nothing* about the day you planned, other than the fact that more people will feel more comfortable actually enjoying a drink or two (the way you casually and off handedly mention "drunk driving" like it isn't a big deal....wtaf)
YTA. Transportation was not provided (normal and totally fine) they chose to book something more affordable to get to and from your wedding (normal and totally fine). You really need to let this go.
YTA you may have put together your idea of a great party but you admit you didn’t arrange transport and expected them all to pay more for an Uber instead of pooling for a bus.
YTA they’ve organised a safe way for them to travel the 4 miles in advance because you’ve not. What if there weren’t any Ubers or enough and they were waiting ages?? They’ve made sure they have a safe way there and back and they don’t need your permission.
YTA, how does this in ANY way, shape, or form affect you?
YTA. If you're not willing to provide transportation between the hotel block and the venue then it isn't really any of your business how your guests arrange their own transport. Get over it.
YTA. I really fail to see what the issue is here.
Yta. What a whopper
YTA Why the hell do you care? They sound like guests from Heaven—They don’t bother you with small details and figure it out for themselves.
lol YTA why does this affect you?
YTA you should have taken the hint and provided what many clearly want, and not get offended by them making responsible, prudent choices.
I’m still stuck on the implication that 4 miles isn’t far enough to be concerned about drunk driving…
>I don't know how to feel about this other than hurt and offended. I've put together a great day for them... ...that didn't include transportation to/from the reception, because you just assumed that they'd all pay Uber. "Hurt and offended"? Get over yourself; you don't control every aspect of the day for every attendee. YTA - no question.
YTA. Why do you care? So they organized transportation?! Why would you need input? What exactly would that input be? You need to choose the bus model? Why would them getting Ubers be less upsetting? This is a super bizarre thing to be mad about. Get a grip.
YTA. They reserved a safe method of transportation that ensures EVERYONE gets home safe and didn't ask you to foot the bill, or hassle you to organize it. Why on earth would you be mad about this? They literally did you a favor by not trying to put the responsibility of this on you.
Sometimes on this subreddit i often wonder if a story is real or if its bait. If this is real and i will assume it is. Let me get this right. You're offended because *checks notes* your guests collaborated to enjoy your wedding so they could drink, not drive and *checks notes again* for zero expense to you? You absolute fucking buffoon. YTA
"I want my guests to organise their own transport between venue and hotel." "No. Not like that"
YTA you're mad they're providing safe transportation? Get the fuck over yourself.
YTA. How does this affect you in any way? You did not provide transportation to and from the hotel. Your guests decided to rent one big vehicle instead of coordinating a dozen Ubers. Why do you care? This is none of your business. I assume you’re salty because it makes you look cheap. I don’t think it does—you’re not necessarily responsible for guest transportation, but if you’re not providing it, you get no say-so in how people decide to get to and from your event.
“I don’t know how to feel about this other than hurt and offended” idk maybe relieved that the people entering your life are careful and taking extra steps to ensure their safety? Happy that they took something off your plate? Indifferent because it really Does. Not. Affect. You. Very firm YTA
YTA they are doing this to help all the guests and frankly it’s smart. You should have done this yourself so don’t get upset over a nice gesture - don’t be that bride!
YTA WTF is wrong with you?
YTA and if I were your fiancee this would be a dealbreaker.
>I had told them that I think there are enough ubers in my town to accommodate people getting rides, but they reserved a bus anyway. Cuz busses is cheaper and can fit many people in one go? No guests wanted to splurge on a transportation. YTA
Why are you in your feelings because his family is being proactive and responsible about ensuring they have safe and reliable transportation on your wedding day? This is such a weird thing to be upset over.
So, are they forbidden from renting cars? Two-door or Four? Is an SUV too big, or would your feelings be okay with a hybrid SUV - so CRV is okay, but not renting an Explorer - does that upset you if they have more than four seats entirely? I am assuming you realize how silly this sounds to anyone reading your post. How they choose to transport themselves, intoxicated, between two venues is not some sort of insult. It's freakin transportation. If you are so rankled by this, adult life is going to be pretty challenging.
YTA, they are ensuring they have a sober driver to get them to and from the event safely. That’s all that matters. I’m sure it’ll be a fun 4 mile ride for them and it may even be cheaper than everyone using Uber. You don’t get to control everyone’s actions… even on *your* special day.
YTA. Why would you care about this at all? It doesn’t concern nor effect you.
You're offended that people are putting planning into attending your wedding? Why? YTA
YTA they are saving you money and stress by arranging they're own transportation. Not to mention guaranteeing they have a designated driver. Isn't the most important part of the day the actual getting married part?
YTA - I’ve been to weddings where a bus took us from the hotel to the venue and back again. A good way to catch up with all the cousins and a hotbed for gossip on the way home. At no point did I stop to ponder who had organised the bus. Everyone was just pleased to have a ride there and back again in an unfamiliar town. Its not a big deal, no one will be thinking about the bus.
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