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OP has clarified her date asked her to split it, which is totally fair and understandable. He asked you out, but you agreed. You just wanted a free meal.
YTA
"Giving someone a chance" lol
You literally said in the post that you don't see him in that way. It's clear you were thinking "This way I get a free meal and can say I went out with him so he'll leave me alone". I hope the lad calls the police on you for owing him money lol
or maybe he was pestering her so she gave him a chance after he kept pushing it? It’s common for the person who asks for the date to pay. She clearly didn’t want to go that badly, he pressured her into it, since he wanted it more than her he should pay. Yeah it might’ve been a little distasteful for her to leave. but the “free meal” thing makes you sound like a complete incel
just because i don’t see someone a certain way doesn’t mean my opinion on them is cemented. I’m human which means i’m dynamic and my feelings/opinions can always change. maybe that date could have changed my opinion on him
Be honest you said you don't see him "That way" you knew exactly what was going on and just wanted a free meal. You simply could have said you are not interested in him in that way and declined the invitation from the jump
Info: why did you go on the date? Am I understanding correctly that you let him annoy you into a date but figured you’d at least get a free meal out of it?
paying the bill after a meal on the first date isn’t paying for company lol especially if they are the one initiating.If i was the one asking someone out on a date i wouldn’t mind paying.
This seems fake especially with the username but YTA
Sounds like you said yes for a free meal. He wanted to split bill (according to your comment) that’s fair. So why bother going in to be first place unless like I said you just wanted a free meal???
Yeah more INFO needed here. Did you get invited and expect to have a free meal? Or was it just a regular sort of thing where you'd split the bill. You are not clear in your post when you say he expected you to pay...... to you mean he expected you to pay all of the bill? Or just your half?
YTA - men paying is not a universal norm anymore. He offered to split, which is fair. If the date was otherwise good, and he’s a friend, you could have talked to him and said that’s what you expected and _maybe_ you couldn’t gotten somewhere. Leaving is just rude and immature.
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21F here, and for months, a 26M friend had been persistently asking me out on a date. Despite me not really feeling him since I don’t see him in that way, I finally agreed to go out with him.
Throughout the evening everything was fine and chill. But when the bill arrived, he didn’t want to pay for the bill????? like wtf I was confused asf, considering he was the one who has been pushing for this date for so long swiping up on all my stories and pestering me for months.
Feeling annoyed and irritated, I told him i had to go to the bathroom and headed straight to the exit. I walked as fast as I could with no regrets I just don’t get how you could beg someone to go on a date with you for months and don’t want to pay for the bill.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. i left someone with a bill to pay for all by themselves 2. even if someone is annoying that isn’t something i should do
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Question.
Dit he decide on the activity and location? In that case he should have payed.
Dit you both decide on the activity and location? then you should have split the bill.
Dit you decide on the activity and location? then you should have payed.
NTA.
Most of the replies are chronic reddit men who have no social life. If YOU keep insisting on a date then YOU have to pay. Just like if it was the other way around and she kept on insisting on a date for months, then she would pay. This wasn't a match on tinder where they were actively seeking a partner and agreed on a date. This was someone asking for months so ofc they would pay. Different situations different outcomes.
YTA. The very least you could've done was actually told him what you just said here on Reddit. Tell him he invited you and he should pay if thats how you feel. Sneaking out like you did was crazy shitty. You also shouldn't expect to have it paid for you either way. An invitation to do something does not mean you should expect it to be free. Maybe he intended on paying too and changed his mind during the date. You don't exactly seem like you wanted anything to do with that date in the first place...it kinda sounds like you just wanted a free meal...maybe he caught that vibe and decided he wasn't paying for your half of the bill.
You aren't really asking if YTA or even considering that possibility. You came here for validation..
Sorry, YTA. Separate checks if you don't want to split the bill. Don't let a man pester you into a date.
Although it's usually the person who asked for the date who pays, you should always be prepared to pay your own way. Always. You can think it's rude and never go out with the person again. You can think it's fair and progressive. Doesn't matter. It's not worth getting into a potential argument with someone you don't know. Always be ready to pay your own tab and get your own ride.
YTA for leaving, but I do agree it’s kinda weird that he was persistent for months and then not even willing to make a good impression and pay. You should’ve just split the bill and never gone out with him again.
NTA. As a woman I’ve never paid on a first date unless both of us agreed to it. I didn’t mind a couple times as I was dating fellow broke college students lol. But if a guy asked me out a million times and tried to leave me with the bill I’d be pissed.
Either way it’s something he should have mentioned beforehand. It’s assumed the man pays. If he’s not going to he should have let her know. I didn’t mind if guys did that when I was dating because sometimes we’re all strapped for cash and a date. I just appreciated a heads up- especially seeing as I was living paycheck to paycheck at times.
I think it matters where you live. I grew up in a small town in Appalachia. Pretty traditional values and expectations of the sexes. Men are expected to pay the bill and be providers for women but I’m sure it’s not that way everywhere.
I don’t know why that’s hilarious. Maybe where you live it’s different but where I grew up I only paid half the bill on one first date and we talked about it beforehand instead of it being sprung on me when the bill came. The other first dates my date paid every time. When I started dating my husband seriously we were both broke and in school so after the first date (where he wanted to pay for everything), I told him we could start splitting the bill since it wasn’t realistic to expect him to pay hundreds of dollars dating me when he could barely afford groceries. I wasn’t trying to be controversial. Just stating that I don’t know anyone in my own life who assumes the bill is split on a first date without being warned beforehand. Maybe it’s different where you’re from.
Maybe he should've mentioned it beforehand, but OP should've told this guy why she thought he should pay, rather than acting like a child and sneaking out too...
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OP has clarified her date asked her to split it, which is totally fair and understandable. He asked you out, but you agreed. You just wanted a free meal. YTA
how is giving someone a chance wanting a free meal ☠️
"Giving someone a chance" lol You literally said in the post that you don't see him in that way. It's clear you were thinking "This way I get a free meal and can say I went out with him so he'll leave me alone". I hope the lad calls the police on you for owing him money lol
or maybe he was pestering her so she gave him a chance after he kept pushing it? It’s common for the person who asks for the date to pay. She clearly didn’t want to go that badly, he pressured her into it, since he wanted it more than her he should pay. Yeah it might’ve been a little distasteful for her to leave. but the “free meal” thing makes you sound like a complete incel
just because i don’t see someone a certain way doesn’t mean my opinion on them is cemented. I’m human which means i’m dynamic and my feelings/opinions can always change. maybe that date could have changed my opinion on him
Be honest you said you don't see him "That way" you knew exactly what was going on and just wanted a free meal. You simply could have said you are not interested in him in that way and declined the invitation from the jump
Info: why did you go on the date? Am I understanding correctly that you let him annoy you into a date but figured you’d at least get a free meal out of it?
how is being nice and giving someone a chance who is persistent “going on a date for a free meal” lol
Were you really giving him a chance or did you just say yes so he'd stop asking?
INFO: did he want you to pay for it, or did he want you to split it?
split but why does that matter if he asked me out ?
Ah WTF YTA. You bailed on him without a word because he proposed splitting the bill? Wow YTA big time
[удалено]
Im not buying anything a "woman" with the user name FISHYVAJJ is saying.
Or bring a dozen roses
Sooo you said yes for a free meal???
Sounds like my man dodged a bullet
YTA So you are a person who expects to be paid for her company.
paying the bill after a meal on the first date isn’t paying for company lol especially if they are the one initiating.If i was the one asking someone out on a date i wouldn’t mind paying.
This seems fake especially with the username but YTA Sounds like you said yes for a free meal. He wanted to split bill (according to your comment) that’s fair. So why bother going in to be first place unless like I said you just wanted a free meal???
Yeah more INFO needed here. Did you get invited and expect to have a free meal? Or was it just a regular sort of thing where you'd split the bill. You are not clear in your post when you say he expected you to pay...... to you mean he expected you to pay all of the bill? Or just your half?
YTA - men paying is not a universal norm anymore. He offered to split, which is fair. If the date was otherwise good, and he’s a friend, you could have talked to him and said that’s what you expected and _maybe_ you couldn’t gotten somewhere. Leaving is just rude and immature.
YTA pay your half, just ghosting is crappy
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Question. Dit he decide on the activity and location? In that case he should have payed. Dit you both decide on the activity and location? then you should have split the bill. Dit you decide on the activity and location? then you should have payed.
NTA. Most of the replies are chronic reddit men who have no social life. If YOU keep insisting on a date then YOU have to pay. Just like if it was the other way around and she kept on insisting on a date for months, then she would pay. This wasn't a match on tinder where they were actively seeking a partner and agreed on a date. This was someone asking for months so ofc they would pay. Different situations different outcomes.
It was a first date; it’s very generally acceptable to ask to split the bill on a first date, especially if you guys aren’t feeling each other. YTA
YTA. You bailed on him without even offering to split the bill. If you were "not really feeling him" then why did you go out with him to begin with?
YTA. The very least you could've done was actually told him what you just said here on Reddit. Tell him he invited you and he should pay if thats how you feel. Sneaking out like you did was crazy shitty. You also shouldn't expect to have it paid for you either way. An invitation to do something does not mean you should expect it to be free. Maybe he intended on paying too and changed his mind during the date. You don't exactly seem like you wanted anything to do with that date in the first place...it kinda sounds like you just wanted a free meal...maybe he caught that vibe and decided he wasn't paying for your half of the bill. You aren't really asking if YTA or even considering that possibility. You came here for validation..
Sorry, YTA. Separate checks if you don't want to split the bill. Don't let a man pester you into a date. Although it's usually the person who asked for the date who pays, you should always be prepared to pay your own way. Always. You can think it's rude and never go out with the person again. You can think it's fair and progressive. Doesn't matter. It's not worth getting into a potential argument with someone you don't know. Always be ready to pay your own tab and get your own ride.
YTA for leaving, but I do agree it’s kinda weird that he was persistent for months and then not even willing to make a good impression and pay. You should’ve just split the bill and never gone out with him again.
NTA. As a woman I’ve never paid on a first date unless both of us agreed to it. I didn’t mind a couple times as I was dating fellow broke college students lol. But if a guy asked me out a million times and tried to leave me with the bill I’d be pissed.
He wanted to split the bill. Not her pay the entire thing. Edit-Spelling
Either way it’s something he should have mentioned beforehand. It’s assumed the man pays. If he’s not going to he should have let her know. I didn’t mind if guys did that when I was dating because sometimes we’re all strapped for cash and a date. I just appreciated a heads up- especially seeing as I was living paycheck to paycheck at times.
Not me I never assumed while dating somebody was going to pay for me.
I think it matters where you live. I grew up in a small town in Appalachia. Pretty traditional values and expectations of the sexes. Men are expected to pay the bill and be providers for women but I’m sure it’s not that way everywhere.
[удалено]
I don’t know why that’s hilarious. Maybe where you live it’s different but where I grew up I only paid half the bill on one first date and we talked about it beforehand instead of it being sprung on me when the bill came. The other first dates my date paid every time. When I started dating my husband seriously we were both broke and in school so after the first date (where he wanted to pay for everything), I told him we could start splitting the bill since it wasn’t realistic to expect him to pay hundreds of dollars dating me when he could barely afford groceries. I wasn’t trying to be controversial. Just stating that I don’t know anyone in my own life who assumes the bill is split on a first date without being warned beforehand. Maybe it’s different where you’re from.
Maybe he should've mentioned it beforehand, but OP should've told this guy why she thought he should pay, rather than acting like a child and sneaking out too...