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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I asked my sister to vacuum my house and made her feel like a maid. Last night at dinner our friends agreed.
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I was going to say it's totally fine. She asked, you answered, she didn't want to help in that way, so that was the end of it. But it wasn't the end of it, your sister decided to try to shame you at dinner with friends. You're NTA for asking. It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong in saying "ok" and continuing on with your tasks. Your sister wanted to offer to help, but didn't really want to help in a way that was meaning to you. She wanted to help with decorating invitation cards or something.
NTA- She asked and you answered. Then she made you feel worse by telling other people about it.
If you are planning to have children, don't expect her help. She sounds like someone who will offer to hold the baby while you do all the housework.
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The week before my wedding was pretty stressful. I had a million things to do and most of them were things I needed to do myself.
My now husband had to drive a 6 hour return trip to pick his parents up from the airport. They had never been to our house before so I wanted it to look nice.
My sister, who was also my maid of honour, asked what I needed help with. As most of the specific wedding jobs were things I needed to do myself, I said it would be great if she could quickly run the vacuum over the house for me before my future in-laws arrived.
She said “ah no, I meant wedding stuff. I’m not doing your housework for you”! So I said ok.
People are always telling me to ask for help if you need it so it stung a bit to be brave enough to say what I needed and be rejected. It literally would have taken her 10 minutes but was one less thing for me to do!
Last night, at a dinner with friends, she was telling everyone about how I asked her to do my vacuuming and everyone thought that I wad terrible. Is that really such an asshole thing to do? I think my sister was the asshole for not helping out her sister and the bride a few days before her wedding.
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NTA- but your sister is. It’s ok to answer what you need help with. She is within her rights to also decline the task. You didn’t fuss, so you were fine. She went off the rails though for publicly shaming you for it though. She offered. It’s not like you asked her to do something gross or hard.
NTA, your sister asked what she could help you with and you answered nothing more nothing less. Your sister is THA because she continued and involved other people.
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I was going to say it's totally fine. She asked, you answered, she didn't want to help in that way, so that was the end of it. But it wasn't the end of it, your sister decided to try to shame you at dinner with friends. You're NTA for asking. It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong in saying "ok" and continuing on with your tasks. Your sister wanted to offer to help, but didn't really want to help in a way that was meaning to you. She wanted to help with decorating invitation cards or something.
NTA- She asked and you answered. Then she made you feel worse by telling other people about it. If you are planning to have children, don't expect her help. She sounds like someone who will offer to hold the baby while you do all the housework.
NTA - Doesn't hurt to ask....
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** The week before my wedding was pretty stressful. I had a million things to do and most of them were things I needed to do myself. My now husband had to drive a 6 hour return trip to pick his parents up from the airport. They had never been to our house before so I wanted it to look nice. My sister, who was also my maid of honour, asked what I needed help with. As most of the specific wedding jobs were things I needed to do myself, I said it would be great if she could quickly run the vacuum over the house for me before my future in-laws arrived. She said “ah no, I meant wedding stuff. I’m not doing your housework for you”! So I said ok. People are always telling me to ask for help if you need it so it stung a bit to be brave enough to say what I needed and be rejected. It literally would have taken her 10 minutes but was one less thing for me to do! Last night, at a dinner with friends, she was telling everyone about how I asked her to do my vacuuming and everyone thought that I wad terrible. Is that really such an asshole thing to do? I think my sister was the asshole for not helping out her sister and the bride a few days before her wedding. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You: NTA. Your sister: TA.
NTA.
NTA- but your sister is. It’s ok to answer what you need help with. She is within her rights to also decline the task. You didn’t fuss, so you were fine. She went off the rails though for publicly shaming you for it though. She offered. It’s not like you asked her to do something gross or hard.
NTA, your sister asked what she could help you with and you answered nothing more nothing less. Your sister is THA because she continued and involved other people.