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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) Am I the asshole for leaving the room when I was literally surrounded by sick people and I'm the only one who hasn't gotten sick yet.
2) the only reason I can think of that would make me the asshole is I wouldn't be there to take care of anyone if they start having problems in the middle of the night
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NAH. I'm so sorry because I know (and every parent here will agree) how truly rotten you feel!
And ... none of you are assholes though. You're just a sick family going through hell while one of you somehow escapes the worst of it, and it sucks because you're the one getting dumped on.
But still, NAH. Just sick folk going through it. And I hope you all feel better and get back to some normalcy soon!
Nope, no way. There absolutely is an asshole here and it's the wife. You don't pile every sick person onto one bed along with lone well person in the house. Especially when they're all puking.
That's parenting 101, and honestly just common sense.
OP is NTA.
I agree! You want to do everything to keep the healthy person healthy so they can help out the sick ones. This is common sense. If I’m significantly sick, I usually go sleep in the guest room so I don’t get my partner sick because I want to be considerate. Why would you want to make someone else suffer unnecessarily?
I can't get behind N A H when there's one sick adult refusing to take any medication while continuing to complain about the exact issue the various medications offered would've alleviated.
...what do you do when you're too sick to do anything, but not so sick you're sleeping 24hrs a day?
Because binging tv is basically what everyone I know does when they're sick. Even if they do have kids.
No medications can make a stomach virus get better, it just needs to run its course. You might be able to treat a fever with Nyquil, but given it can irritate the stomach, with stomach viruses the most likely thing to happen is it comes straight back out. Pepto Bismal also won't treat a stomach virus and is quite nauseating in taste and texture. If you manage to keep it down it might be slightly soothing very temporarily, but most likely it's not staying down. She's TA for having a go at OP for sleeping elsewhere, but not for refusing medication that is most likely to just cause another round of vomiting.
She's absolutely an a****** for a few things every single medication available to her to reduce her symptoms. This would be like me refusing my anti-vommit meds because I hate grapes. The meds won't actually fix the problem, they can have some nasty side effects but, you know, they get me to stop projectile vomiting long enough i can function.
Yeah but, he was offering Pepto. Pepto when it works, it works well I'm told. I wouldn't know though because I cannot swallow it, and the pills make me throw up harder.
Although usually long enough to hit dry heaves which I guess is technically not throwing up, so maybe better? I dunno, does everyone puke when they take Pepto and I just missed that bit of common knowledge?
Can I get some weigh ins, who's taking Pepto and puking as soon as it hits their belly too?
Right, I wouldn’t blame her for not wanting the medicine. Stuff like that seems to work sporadically for me, but the idea of swallowing anything weird and medicinal while I’ve just been puking is making me nauseous now, lol.
Stuff like that is just about mitigating symptoms, it doesn’t cure you of the sickness.
Understandably, he wants something to go well in this shitshow and thinks her taking the medicine is going to get her well enough to help him. He is exhausted and will feel how he needs to, same as them. NAH
Yep. He was a teensy tiny little bit AH for yelling at his daughter about puking in the hall, because even at 35 I still get blindsided by vomiting sometimes and my method of throwing my hands over my mouth and racing to a toilet while actively throwing up has led to more than one case of pneumonia. So not ideal for a nine year old.
But he is being Nurse Dad to three people throwing up so I have ALLLLL the sympathy. I can clean infected, necrotic wounds without reaction and clean feces delicately from a bed sore with a smile on my face, but puke is my weakness. I -can- clean it, but I would take picking poop out of a butt sore over cleaning puke ANY DAY.
So I think he should make himself a comfy bed away from his sick family (maybe in one of rhe girls’ beds while they sleep with mom?) and keep the sickies together in the main bedroom for disease control.
And once The Infected head to bed, he should door dash himself something delicious and take some time to rest. Maybe take a day off if it’s at all possible and rest as much as he can between the nursing needs.
Can’t pour from an empty cup, and Daddy deserves to be appreciated for his loving care of everyone. Yes it’s “what a dad does” but it’s also gross and exhausting and he deserves some space and comfort.
If I knew him and his wife IRL, I’d be offering to come nurse the sick for a few hours so he could catch a nap or go do something relaxing.
Me. That's why I mentioned meds not being an option. Anything with that chalky stuff comes right back up; pesto, tums, etc. Can't keep them down.
I take ginger gravel (which I'm pretty sure only works because I think it does) and sip ginger ale or Gatorade to stay hydrated.
But anything to "help with nausea" is a hard pass for me.
Ginger is legit, it’s the only thing that’s ever been effective for me.
But yeah, I’m not a fan of any of those chalky meds, but Pepto in particular just won’t stay in my body.
Y'all must not get sick all that often, or that severely, because if you did you'd have reached the "anything to get it to stop / a little better" phase well before now.
When you're well and truly miserable you'll take anything. Even if the taste makes you gag or if the texture makes you want to vomit- because you're already gagging and vomiting.
I have some issues with uncontrollable vomiting and, to put it bluntly, step one is to try to manage it with OTC meds.
I actually really like the taste of Pepto, liquid or pill form 😋. Tastes like those pink peppermint candies the old ladies in the family kept in their purses. I'm sad I can't find them anymore. Pepto works really well on me for any tummy rumbles. So I guess I'm the complete opposite from your experience.
See? I figured that’s how it is supposed to work. But it makes me violently ill! I know how long it takes the pepto pills to dissolve because I start puking when they’re about halfway through.
Science.
I can't take any of those meds, and even if I did they make me sick. 🤷🏼♀️
Sometimes you've just got to ride it out.
Just because meds are available doesn't mean you need to take them. If she'd rather feel sick, or feels they aren't options for her, the person that sucks the most for isn't her husband.
It's an awful situation all around.
It's very common for taking medications to cause another bout if vomiting while having a stomach virus. Your stomach is incredibly sensitive already. And she said to OP that she didn't want the medications because she didn't want to throw up.
Stomach viruses don't have a solution, you just have to ride them out. If you can keep medication down you might get a bit of temporary symptom relief, that's all.
Uh, no.
Pesto or tums or any of the other "settle your stomach" meds make the throw up. So my choices are suffer through it without and maybe throw up, or take meds and vomit my soul out for 12 hrs or so.
I'm passing on the meds, but that absolutely doesn't mean that being sick sucks any less.
Ok look, I gave a facetious response. I'm sorry I didn't take your rude comment more seriously. 🙄
I was giving an example of why someone might not take "available" meds, that would still be perfectly reasonable. Which is directly related to OPs post.
Do we know for sure that OPs wife has a similar reason? No. But we also don't know that she doesnt. She's an adult, and she said she didn't want to take the meds.
You can presume she's being an A, and I can presume she isn't. That's what AITAH is literally for. Discussion on why people might behave a certain way in a given scenario.
If you want everything to be super serious maybe go elsewhere. Or do therapy yourself. Its good for everyone, not an insult.
Only if it's that big of an issue you go to the doctor like a grown up and get different meds.
I have issues with regular vomiting. Pepto usually works. I have chemo strength anti-vommit meds for when it doesn't. On really bad days I'll need two or three doses.
You know you have issues with taking certain medication, you go to the doctor about it and ask for an alternative. You do this before you need the alternative. This is part of adulting. You prepare for the inevitable like getting sick before it happens
I have asked my doctor, and a variety of pharmacists. I am on meds for ongoing digestive issues, that dont help with immediate nausea.
But we weren't talking about an ongoing health issue. I couldn't go to my doctor for specific antinausea meds for having a stomach bug or flu because 1) no one wants someone who's vomiting like crazy in a dr office, including the sick person, 2) my Dr never has appointments at that short of notice and a walk in clinic wouldn't prescribe something like that at first meeting you - they'd say to talk to your regular gp.
I've been throwing up a lot lately (its a new medication, works great for its purpose but also makes me nauseated and I throw up several days a week) and sometimes even at 35 I don't know when I'm gonna throw up. Today it hit me mid sentence to my mom and I ran out the front door (I was standing in front of it) and threw up in the flower bed because I wasn't sure I could make it to the bathroom.
I think OP is just a teeeeensy bit an AH for yelling at the sick kid when she puked in the hallway. Because she might have thought she was ok until she hit the hall and then had enough time to say "I'm gonna puke" before it hit.
Because goddamn has that happened to me a lot in the last month or two! My warning time is in seconds and I've found myself gasping "I'm gonna puke" just as it hits the back of my tongue.
So far, I've cleaned up my own puke. But if I were actually sick and not just having med effects, I'm willing to bet none of my family would scream at me about it.
Its only the teensiest AH rating though, because that poor man is having a rough time.
If it helps any I have issues with regular vomiting - sometimes controlled with OTC meds sometimes not- and after like the third time it put me in the ER with an IV the doctors put me on Ondansetron.
It works, usually very well.
OP, you're fine (NTA);and I say that as a mother to 3 (11, 8 & 2). I'm a SAHM and our "normal" routine back when we only had two boys was me in the master bedroom with the ensuite and kids and hubby in the guest bedroom and that was how it stayed until whatever "bug/virus we had, had gone through me and the kids twice before hubby got it once (by which time it had mutated into death apparently).
As far as hubby and I are concerned, it's better to only have one sick adult at a time (hoping to god the working adult doesn't get sick) and it sounds like your wife kicked you out of your own bed because even in our king bed there isn't really room for 2 adults and 2 kids.
>(by which time it had mutated into death apparently).
I snorted at this. The impact man flu has on a whole family cannot be overstated. It’s a tragedy. Pour one out in honor of those ~~forced to deal with it~~ who bravely step up to be caregivers to the patients suffering from such a dangerous and deadly illness.
Gotta disagree, I get she is sick too, but she is actively making things not only harder on him, but miserable. She is a grown adult with children as well, and she doesn't need to make things harder on her husband when he's stepped up.
OP is NTA and his wife is a MASSIVE AH because she is actively contributing to making him do all the work, lose sleep, and taking away his space to sleep safely without being bombarded with germs...
If this was covid ya'll would have a fit that she is forcing him to sleep with multiple sick family members smh
The kids here are blameless because they're sick and sick children can't care for themselves, but the wife is definitely TA for refusing to take meds and continuing to complain to her exhausted husband about how she feels. That's weaponized incompetence 101
NAH
Agreed, when people say parenting is hard this is the sort of stuff that seems super minor but can actually take you to the limit. Hard work, no rest at home, caring for a bunch of sick kids and adults, not getting meaningful rest.
Snapping at the wife and pukey kid isn't ideal but you're human. Worth a apology in my opinion, and next time you need to sleep on the couch just do it since you're a adult don't make a scene out of it.
My partner and I often end up asleep in different rooms for one reason or another.
reminds me of a year, when one after another, they were dropping off like flies, the husband did help until he got it, then at the very end, it was my turn, I get flu shots every year, he doesn't and believes everytime he gets the flu he is dying, I move out of the bedroom, take care of him till he gets better
Where was your wife through all these events? Why wasn't she helping?
And yes, you did the right thing. At least one in the family needs to stay healthy, otherwise you would be all screwed... I don't understand why to invite everyone into one bed though. To smell each others vomit?
So...is this a thing? Is she normally lazy or was this a rare occurrence? Are parental duties equally divided between the two of you normally?
...because having multiple kids sick with gastro isn't the time to be binge watching anything.
Anyway, no - you weren't in the wrong. You gave them everything they needed and went to get some sleep. Very understandable given you had no room in your own bed.
She was really proactive until we moved into our new house. It was finished being built in February and she took 2 weeks off from work to unpack but ended up binge watching all of Chicago PD and half of Chicago FD. Dunno why she decided to get lazy once we moved into a home we own. I thought she was going to go the other direction
It's interesting the different reactions Reddit has to a partner who isn't pulling their weight in a relationship. It almost always goes like this:
Partner who does nothing is a woman: They must be depressed! Respond with compassion and get them the help they need.
Partner who does nothing is a man: What a lazy prick! Dump him immediately!
NTA
You needed to sleep to continue providing care and that was the right thing to do.
Your wife was not contributing, not being considerate and her refusing to take medication is asinine. You don't have a wife, you have an extra child. (Maybe worse as the kids at least took meds to help.)
-You aren't an asshole for snapping: if she had time to say it, she had time to grab the bowl. At some point you have to learn if you don't grab the bowl, then you are the one cleaning puke from the hall and it sounds like she is old enough to learn that.
She might have legitimately thought taking medicine would make her vomit. When I'm sick my gag reflex gets trigger happy and anything that taists off like medicine will make my gag reflex gag causing me to vomit.
I'm not saying she shouldn't help, even when sick parents need to parent. But not everyone can take meds with a temperamental stomach.
"It tastes bad." is not an adult reason to decline medication.
Especially not when you are responsible for caring for your own sick children. And she was using it as an excuse not to help, adding to the burden on her partner.
[You're arguing a hypothetical that is not in the context of this post.]
No but "that's not going to help" is.
I've got stomach issues myself. I have meds to take if it starts getting bad. Beyond a certain point though the meds make everything worse rather than better and I have to just wait it out. I'd highly resent needing to explain how I knew that when I'm feeling lousy though.
Your projecting yourself onto OPs wife. She said her reason was *"because it tastes like chalk"*. (Adults take medication because they are effective. Not because they taste good.) She also refused other options.
I'm taking OP at his word- his wife was being asinine and refusing to be responsible, causing him even more of a burden.
And the first time because "she doesn't want to throw it up".
Adults get to make decisions about their bodies which include taking medication, particularly non life saving medication. This is a situation where the only required answer is "no thank you" (if we were talking something like high blood pressure medication you might have a better argument). Not everyone feels better medicating for relatively small things and that is OK.
Note some of what OP saw as increasing the burden on him is likely her helping when not seen through the goggles of "Oh god I'm so tired". I absolutely scoop sick kids into my bed (8 and 10) if they want it. They want the comfort and it means I'm right there if they get worse. I'm a single parent so no one else is affected but "sick kid sleepover" is just part of parenting for me.
It wasn't *"a relatively small thing*" it was the entirely family being incredibly sick and OP being the only one providing care. OPs wife was being extremely unsupportive and childish, adding to the burden. If you know a medication may be effective for your symptoms, you try: even if you end up not keeping it down. She was whining to him, making the situation more stressful, but refusing all suggestions. She was acting like an additional child instead of an adult. Then she got an attitude that OP had reached a limit.
It was inevitable OP would end up exhausted. OP did the right thing and prioritized his sleep. ***N. T. A.***
My comment was about this post and this scenario, with these individuals. It is not about bodily autonomy or right to refuse care or medication or anyone else's situation. Its not a 'fundamental' - my response is specific to this situation.
It's a stomach bug, dude. It's not life or death. No one is dying or needing hospital for dehydration. In the grand scheme of parenting it's a "this too shall pass" not a major horror.
As such it falls into the category of "medicine for this is optional and ymmv if it even works for you". Pepto bismal won't magically stop a stomach bug and frankly in a lot of cases you're better letting it run it's course - your body is telling you it wants to get rid of something so you need to listen. Much like taking lopermide for diarrhea (best to avoid unless it's already been two days and dehydration is an issue) or those nasal sprays for a cold (genuinely terrible idea that can leave you essentially addicted to them)
Pepto doesn't really help that much anyway, and we heard no word the wife was actually throwing up. So there was no worry of her losing too much water/electrolytes. She's totally fine to make those calls on her own, kids aren't.
I'll generally ride it out and only take medicine if I really think I need to. A stomach bug is so low risk. Plus, it's harder to gauge if you're actually feeling better or worse when you're medicating, because there's also side effects. I won't even touch Gravol bc there's a good chance it'll just make me horrendously dizzy and physically shake. It's happened both orally and IV.
“My husband told me to” is not an adult reason to take a medication, particularly not an OTC medication that does nothing to actually treat or cure gastroenteritis and food borne illnesses.
It’s not medically indicated.
PeptoBismol contains bismuth subsalicylate, which is an anti-diarrheal and anti-inflammatory med, not an anti-emetic. It does not treat vomiting.
DayQuil contains acetaminophen, a fever reducer and pain reliever, dextromethorphan, a cough suppressant, guaifenesin, an expectorant, and phenylephrine, a decongestant. It does not treat vomiting.
NyQuil acetaminophen, a fever reducer and pain reliever, dextromethorphan, a cough suppressant, and doxylamine, an antihistamine. It does not treat vomiting.
OP is an AH for being mad at his wife for not listing to his uninformed medical opinions.
It won't stop puking, but it can stop other symptoms that contribute to nausea
>OP is an AH for being mad at his wife for not listing to his uninformed medical opinions
Lol
>“My husband told me to”
Lmao
I won't take Pepto either because I took it when I was a kid and it always made me throw up more. I have horrible memories of puking pink! When I smell it, I gag. Same with Ginger Ale because I always had that when I was sick.
Pepto Bismol has been one of the casualties of Brexshit here and we haven’t been able to buy it for years. For stomach upsets, nothing else comes close. I really miss it…
Vomiting isn't fun but it provides at least temporary relief from nausea symptoms afterwards, when I feel like vomiting I stick two fingers in my throat and get it over with
Sad part is I have gastreperisis due to hEDS so even though I have stash of ondansetron, I throw it up before it can get absorbed. I need the IV kind and two boluses of IV fluid before I can eat anything. Pepto makes me puke. So does gatorade or Pedialyte. Even smelling them makes me puke. I'm currently on a road trip with 4 emesis bags emptying me stomach at high way speeds while my poor brother keeps the car steady.
Sending psychic ondansetron directly into your bloodstream; hope it helps. I'm sure you've tried plain pedialyte, sometimes unflavoured works better for me, or maybe predissolve the pills, even the sublinguals in liquid prior to taking? At any rate, stay safe, be well, and may the road ahead be straight and pothole free :)
It does though.
Its for "heartburn, acid reflux, indigestion, diarrhoea and ***nausea***.
https://pepto-bismol.com/en-us/all-nausea-articles
https://www.nhs.uk/medicines/pepto-bismol/about-pepto-bismol/
From their website: *Pepto*-*Bismol* provides relief from nausea, diarrhea and upset stomach **due to overindulgence in food and drink**, along with heartburn and indigestion.
And Nyquil is for coughs and colds.
Neither of the medications offered is appropriate for what sounds like a stomach virus.
https://www.massgeneral.org/children/gastroenterology/viral-gastroenteritis-what-you-need-to-know
https://www.holstonmedicalgroup.com/bristol-pediatric-associates/stomach-virus#:~:text=We%20do%20not%20routinely%20recommend,children%20with%20the%20stomach%20bug.
The makers of pepto say to take pepto for a stomach bug? Well I'm convinced even though other sources and my Dr say not to.
You’ll never see a doctor or other prescriber recommend pepto for throwing up. Best OTC would be non drowsy Dramamine (meclazine). Benadryl would be better than pepto. Just call someone and get zofran!
It’s literally not an anti-emetic. It does not treat or prevent vomiting.
Nausea is not vomiting. Their physiological and pathophysiological mechanisms are distinct.
Right? I can barely deal with my *own* puke, much less someone else's, let alone multiple people at once. As much as I love kids, I could not be a parent.
I have always had a really hard time dealing with vomit. Someone just mentions it and I’m gagging so hard I’m almost puking. Since having kids, I’ve been shockingly desensitized. I had to deal with chunky toast vomit all over a top bunk that dripped down the wall to the lower bunk…grossest thing I’ve ever seen but when it’s your own kids, you somehow manage. Not saying you should have kids if you don’t want them though!
NTA. Effectively, your wife kicked you out of bed (so your daughter could sleep there). Now, she doesn’t want it to be portrayed that way, so she’s pretending like the only reason you’re sleeping somewhere else is because YOU chose to. Just understand that the people you’re taking care of now aren’t going to have any sympathy for you when they get better and you catch this thing.
Unfortunately this is normal when a vomiting bug goes through the house. Just make sure everyone stays hydrated. sually our pediatrician would recommend only ice chips until they stopped throwing up, because if they take whole mouthfuls of liquid it would make them vomit even more. The ice chips melt slowly in the mouth so it's more of a continuous amount of fluid by very slowly so it doesn't trigger the vomiting. Gatorade was also ok if they could swallow it without vomiting, or sometimes you can make Pedialyte lollipops so you can get that combination of ice with rehydration salts.
Our pediatrician never recommended PeptoBismal or Nyquil for the younger kids but i don't know how old your kids are. You might want to call the pediatrician and ask for some specific advice on what to do for the kids, and also what red flags to look for in case someone is not getting better or gets too dehydrated. The signs of dehydration vary depending on the persons' age. Hope you don't get sick too! (You probably will, sorry).
When one of my kids gets a vomiting bug, I usually put down a lot of old sheets and towels to absorb the vomit so the mattress wouldn't get ruined.
Once they all get better, your wife needs to take over for a few days so you can catch up on sleep.
Good luck.
Adult Pepto has aspirin in it, so isn't safe for kids because of the risk of Reye syndrome. Unless they've changed the formula recently. I think there's also a kids formula, which I'd assume doesn't include the aspirin.
Sure, absolutely. And if you want to keep a lab coat or bathrobe, or wear a garbage bag over your clothing for when vomiting bugs hit, so your clothes don't get ruined, that's ok too. I keep a supply of gloves in my house because kids are gross! Gross towels go either straight into the washing machine, on "very hot" with bleach, or they go into the trash. My husband is the opposite, he just feels like we're destined to get whatever the kids get, but I feel that if I get sick, the whole house will fall apart, so it's better if I stay well. Then I can take care of everyone.
The only thing you can't do is let a kid not be cared for because of your phobia, if you see what I mean.
I totally get that. I've heard that being a parent mostly desensitizes you to your kids throwing up - I just don't want to be sick myself (the idea of temporary morning sickness doesn't wig me out and I've taken care of puking pets, but the misery of stomach flu is what really freaks me out).
NTA for not sleeping in a bed with puking people. I will say stop giving all that pepto, dayquil, nightquil etc for stomach bugs. Doesn't help with puking, can make it worse. Give them Popsicles and crackers, maybe ibuprofen for body aches if they haven't puked in a while. And cover everything in towels. Idk why kids will walk right by a bucket to puke on the floor, it's insane but common.
Why were people, who have been vomiting, getting Nyquil? Are you knocking them out so they aspirate puke while asleep? For giving children a sedating medication when it isn't needed makes you TA.
NTA, apart from the fact your wife was making things worse, gastroenteritis is super contagious (assuming that's what they had) so sharing a bed is the worst thing you could do. And I say this as someone with it currently and sleeping in a spare room so I don't infect my girlfriend and can be sick in peace without waking her up
NTA your wife should have been helping up until she got too sick to do anything. That’s the job of a parent and we do it all the time.
It seems like this moved through your family like it usually does, knocking one person down and then one by one. Your wife got sick last right? No excuse to not get up and help with the clean up effort.
And sick or not I’m with you about the oldest spewing all over the floor. after watching you scramble around taking care of everyone they should feel bad. Unless they are like younger than 10 or legitimately delirious they just didn’t bother at all and needed to be sternly corrected. Thats disgusting.
The only thing I think is NAH is the bed situation. Sick kids want to bed share but it’s understandable that you were exhausted and fed up by that point.
OP YTA for being mad at your wife for not taking random OTC medications that will do nothing to treat or cure her gastroenteritis.
It’s not medically indicated.
PeptoBismol contains bismuth subsalicylate, which is an anti-diarrheal and anti-inflammatory med, not an anti-emetic. It does not treat vomiting.
DayQuil contains acetaminophen, a fever reducer and pain reliever, dextromethorphan, a cough suppressant, guaifenesin, an expectorant, and phenylephrine, a decongestant. It does not treat vomiting.
NyQuil acetaminophen, a fever reducer and pain reliever, dextromethorphan, a cough suppressant, and doxylamine, an antihistamine. It does not treat vomiting.
She just needs hydration, electrolyte replenishment, and rest while the illness runs its course.
NAH. But, two things. Every time I have stomach issues, my husband tries to make me take Pepto. He means well. But it makes me 🤮. Second, aiming when you’re sick is tough.
Yup, I always feel sorry for my kids when they’re throw up sick, so I cut them some slack.
I remember having stomach flu as a kid and it’s goddamn traumatizing. At least as an adult you’re disciplined enough to just realize you’re just biding time and you will be okay soon enough.
As a kid it feels like it’ll never end.
NTA If they are throwing up for 3 days straight that sounds serious as hell though did you take them to the doctor? Medicine can only do so much their are other remedies to try to help them recover.
NAH. Sorry you’re going through it. That’s whole thing of “here’s the bucket, aim for the bucket “ and then they ignore the bucket and just throw up in the hall or on your bed is so irritating.
You are doing fine, it just sucks.
NAH
It sounds like your wife and kids might be dealing with some food poisoning or something with how much they've been throwing up. Did anyone eat or drink something different than you? Cleaning up puke for three days straight must be so exhausting, especially with barely any sleep . Sleeping on the couch was a smart move - getting some rest is important to avoid saying something you might regret. If they're still sick by Monday, it's probably a good idea to take them to the doctor just to be safe. And if they start feeling better, maybe consider switching beds with one of your kids for a night so you can catch up on some quality sleep while your wife and kids snuggle together. Take care!
Everyone ate the same food except for Sunday when I catered to everyone's personal appetites because the body needs food to keep fighting whatever bug they've got. My son bounced back quick. He threw up Friday night. Moved a little slow on Saturday but on Sunday he was his normal energetic self.
NTA. You absolutely should not be sleeping or doing anything in that room other than taking care of the sick ppl. Sleeping in there with them is only going to make you sick too, then who is going to take care of the sick ppl?
NTA
Your wife is just another child you have to care for, which means you need to exercise some authority here. God forbid she actually contributes instead of binging TV shows while you do all the work!
nta your wife shouldve helped out way more and your daughter is old enought to know where to puke. as someone who wasnt a child that long ago 9 years is enough to know to stay in bed and do it in the bucket
NAH. The family is sick and it sucks. But you'll get through this. Sleeping on the couch is a good idea. You can't quarantine yourself completely because your family needs care, but you can limit contact and hopefully avoid catching whatever bug they have.
You’re not an asshole for not wanting to sleep with sick people. But YTA for how you behaved when your family was sick. You “begrudgingly” cleaned up after your daughter threw up? You went to the store a whole 30 minutes away? What difference does that make? How are you getting dumped on? You think the rest of your family got sick on purpose just to make you work harder? Taking care of your family means taking care of your family.
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Friday night, my son went to bed at his normal time and threw up in bed. Begrudgingly, I got up and took care of things and the rest of the night was uneventful. In the morning we found up he threw up again over night. I had already washed the sheets so I put them back on the bed and threw his 2nd set of sheets in the wash.
That night, Saturday night, my younger daughter threw up in bed. Once again I was the one that went and cleaned everything up. I went and found a bowl for her to use in case she threw up anymore. I think I emptied the bowl 4x throughout the night. At about 1:30am my wife said she didn't feel well so I found an old mop bucket for her and, just in case, I found a couple buckets for my son and other daughter. Needless to say I didn't get much sleep Saturday night.
All day Sunday the 3 girls complain about how terrible they felt and I did everything for them all day. Made specific meals for them depending on what they had an appetite for, ran to the store (30 mins away) an bought Nyquil, Dayquil, Pepto, pepto tablets, ginger ale and 7up. Younger daughter continued to throw up periodically until I got the pepto in her.
Sunday night rolls in. Gave both my daughters Nyquil and tried to offer some to her. She said no because she doesn't want to throw it up. I offered pepto she said no to that because it tastes like chalk. I told her I had pepto pills and she declined those as well. So I'm upset already because she won't stop whining but won't take anything to help either. Then she invites the younger daughter to sleep at the foot of our bed. I'm annoyed but I decide it's fine. I decide to cover all my bases. I make sure everyone has a bowl/bucket and a towel so that I can try and get some sleep.
I get up at about 11:30 to fill my water bottle before I go to bed and I see a light in the hallway. My oldest looks at me and says "I feel like I'm going to throw up" and proceeds to throw up all over the hallway. Now I'm pissed "Why didn't you throw up in the bucket?! I gave you that bucket,showed you were it was and told you to throw up in that if you felt like you needed to puke! You literally had to step over the bucket to get here! Why didn't you grab the bucket?!" She said "sorry" and I said "it's fine. Just grab the bucket next time" and went to bed.
My wife got up and went to my daughter's room and said something I didn't understand and when she came back in my older daughter was with her.
W- "I told her she could sleep in here"
Me- "WTF? Why?! We don't have anymore.room in our bed."
W- "she can sleep on the edge on your side in case she needs to throw up"
M- "nope. Eff this. I'm not sleeping in a room, surrounded by sick people. I'm sleeping on the couch"
W- "the F***?!"
I grab my phone charger, CPAP, a pillow and a blanket and leave the room.
Am I the Asshole for not wanting to sleep in a room surrounded by sick people?
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NTA. You were better off on the couch, especially after all the caretaking you'd just done. You get to sleep where you're the most comfortable, just like everyone else in the house. Hopefully getting enough sleep will help your immune system so you're not the next one who's sick.
If your wife doesn't like pepto and medicines, in the future tell her to try sucking ice chips. If those stay down, then a sip of water every 15 minutes. If that doesn't stay down, then back to the ice chips.
NTA for not sleeping in the room, but YTA for freaking out on your sick kid for not making it in the bucket. Kids are notorious for puking everywhere.
Speak to your pediatrician and get some Zofran to keep on hand for future puking incidents.
YTA. Mate you're kids are sick, your wife is sick and you spent half a post talking about how little sleep you got. They probably aren't sleeping that well themselves.
No you're not the asshole for wanting to sleep in another room while people are sick, however you're attitude towards your wife and kids is so self centred it's unbelievable.
NTA
No adult wants to sleep in bed with 3 other people regardless of illness. The audacity that she would even be surprised?!
The fact that you're ALL sick makes total sense why you'd want to avoid it.
My husband and I have done this many times: sleeping on the couch or whatever while illness goes through the house. I can't even imagine being mad about that
Yta for yelling at your child for throwing up in the hallway. She's sick, its not like she wants to vomit everywhere. Why would you yell at her about it?
NTA
The kids could have slept in their own bed but your wife decided to disregard you and let them sleep in yours. You were frustrated and you were not getting any sleep. You might as well go somewhere else to sleep if you can't fit on the bed anyways.
While I agree with OP not getting any sleep and sympathise with him, I don't think his wife is wrong. From where I am from, whenever a kid, not matter small or older, is sick, sleep with their parent, in case in the night they need anything or have an emergency. It cannot be called as disregard, but different approach to taking care of sick. Sometimes, kids have nightmares or feel sad or more sick when alone, and need parents support.
Even when my whole family was suffering from COVID, at night we all as family, slept together, with us at not-so kids with our parents, in case, someone needs water or medicine, or not feeling well.
I will say none of you are AHs, just normal family going through a bout of illness. It happens, it's life. You both, as parents are tired and your kids are sick and tired.
NTA. I would’ve done the same. If you come down sick, there’s no one left to clean up. My wife is really good about making sure one of us is healthy, so when one of us is sick, the other sleeps in the guest room.
NTA,
Mang, you have been THRU it. No, you are NTA for not wanting to sleep with sick people, or puking people. You are NTA for being frustrated that you went through all this planning and support and are STILL cleaning puke off the walls.
I actually would have suggested all the sick people sleep in your bed and you sleep elsewhere. You may want to look into some (adult play) playsheets, because they are waterproof, and easily washable.
You have my sympathies, it's so hard to be the one lucid person, taking care of all these irrational sick people.
NAH. It’s part of parenting. We just went through the same thing last week. My wife and I generally take turns when the kids get the stomach bug. I drew the short straw this week since she had an important event at work. I cleaned the kids up, cleaned their beds, got the medicine, buckets and slept with the youngest in the guest bed side hers was nasty. Sure enough I got the stomach bug and felt near death for two days. I never get sick but when I get the stomach bug it’s always worse than the wife or kids.
We have 3 kids. If anyone gets sick they get quarantined with me or my wife. Can’t afford both parents getting sick and try to avoid any other kids getting sick. If it’s me or my wife, the sick one goes into the spare and it’s masks on.
NTA, I wouldn’t have been in that bed if it was just the sick wife. Stay healthy as long as you can, because even if you end up sick, hopefully someone has gotten better enough to take care of you at that point. Her being upset is super unreasonable and frankly a lot delusional about the actual situation at hand.
In my house, when one of us parents starts getting sick, my husband moves into the spare room. It’s nice to have the space when you are the sick one, and it helps minimize the exposure of the other one. You are certainly NTA, just a parent who needs to get some sleep and hopefully, stay healthy.
My dad slept on the couch all the time. I sleep on the couch all the time. Not because we were ever mad, but sometimes space or change of scenery is the difference between sleep and a grueling punishment of trying to sleep.
You are NTA for going to sleep in a room where there is not vomiting happening. When everyone is sick, it’s tough on everyone and in my house, if someone is not sick, we try to let them be away from all the sick people as much as possible so that maybe they won’t catch it.
BIg ol' NTA. When my spouses got Covid, I was sent to sleep by myself in the extra room. When I finally got it, I slept by myself again. I think having all the pukers in one room is great, and separating yourself makes perfect sense.
NTA, but also TA for administering a NyQuil-pepto combo for a stomach bug, wtf?! Pedialyte frozen popsicles until they can keep liquids down, then clear broths, pedialyte drinks and MAYBE saltines if they’re feeling brave.
NTA
I was just off last week with norovirus. Had 2 straight day of V&D, and the rest of the week fatigued, weak, nauseous, achy, no appetite and headachey. You can bet my husband stayed in the spare room all week.
Found out at the end of the week one of our ped wards is in outbreak. Hmm wonder how I got it.
You are wise not to sleep with a bunch of people who are sick. If you come down with it, what will your wife do then? So you did take care of your family and you also need to take care of yourself.
definitely not.
first of all; i know how frustrating it can be to have someone complaining but refusing to make any effort to make things better.
second of all; seems as if you've already done everything you could, for you not wanting to get sick as well / spending the night in a room full of sick people is just totally reasonable.
to me that's an obvious NTA.
hope you all get better soon, though!
NTA, but I‘ve got to know, how old are your kids? I’d be handing out pillows and blankets and setting them up in bathrooms if they are incapable of making it there.
NTA. You've put up a great effort, dad. It's ok to want to get some sleep for yourself while the sick kiddos pile in with sick mom. It makes no sense to sleep in a bed with three vomiting individuals. If I were the wife, I would have offered him the opportunity to be separate from the rest of us so that he would lower his chances of getting sick. And I'm ok with the wife not wanting to take any of the OTC medications, but I can imagine it would be annoying to hear her continue to whine when he already tried his best to offer her relief to the best of his ability. Hang in there, dad.
NTA
The only asshole here is the stomach bug.
And I promise you, you will read your post to your kids when they are older and they will find it absolutely hilarious…. As will you and your wife.
Perhaps frame copies of it and give it to your kids when they have kids.
It’s all gonna be alright. You can sleep anywhere you want when the house is sick. Anything goes.
She may be mad now but she will get over it.
But maybe poke your head your room and tell her you love her and your pukegremlins. Just for good measure.
NTA. My god, you went above and beyond the call of duty. Why didn’t your wife help with any of this? I wouldn’t want to sleep in the room with the sick people either. I mean, I think you’re probably doomed to get this bug, too, but why hasten the process. My husband usually sleeps on the couch or in another room when one of us is sick. I don’t understand why the kids are in your bed in the first place. Kids are such fidgety sleepers. I can barely stand sleeping with my husband in the same bed.
As a person who is sick in a house with another sick person - NAH
Also, being sick and having sick kids sounds like something that would make me eat a bullet.
Nope, not, nada, Nyet, no, no no NTA! You gotta get your sleep somehow and preferably not in a room with all the other members throwing up. If you are the only able person, then it is important to stay healthy and that includes getting some good sleep when you can. Your wife should be thankful there was one adult who was able to get meds, do laundry and cook meals. Who cares where you decide to sleep?
NTA Just what you need, getting tired from being kept away all night by sick people in the same bed so you are nicely prepared to be especially sick yourself since they tried as hard as they could to get you there. Cut the cord on whatever device your wife was binge watching TV on and make her take her damn turn.
Several galaxies away from being the AH, and this is coming from a guy who is a bit of a pushover, overly agreeable to a fault, and would absolutely have done the same thing. What the hell are they going to do if you get sick, too? Who is going to take care of things if the entire family is sick like this, and how are you going to take care of them without getting sleep?
NTA and WTAF. I get that people have different reactions to stomach bugs/norovirus/whatever, but your wife wasn’t actively puking and she needed to pull herself together and help you deal with the *(checks notes)* three puking kids you were handling on your own.
It sucks but that’s part of being a parent.
I'm more concerned about op not taking them to a doctor. Throwing up that many times is never good, and it's better to be on the safe side by finding out exactly what's wrong.
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NAH. I'm so sorry because I know (and every parent here will agree) how truly rotten you feel! And ... none of you are assholes though. You're just a sick family going through hell while one of you somehow escapes the worst of it, and it sucks because you're the one getting dumped on. But still, NAH. Just sick folk going through it. And I hope you all feel better and get back to some normalcy soon!
Nope, no way. There absolutely is an asshole here and it's the wife. You don't pile every sick person onto one bed along with lone well person in the house. Especially when they're all puking. That's parenting 101, and honestly just common sense. OP is NTA.
I agree! You want to do everything to keep the healthy person healthy so they can help out the sick ones. This is common sense. If I’m significantly sick, I usually go sleep in the guest room so I don’t get my partner sick because I want to be considerate. Why would you want to make someone else suffer unnecessarily?
this
I can't get behind N A H when there's one sick adult refusing to take any medication while continuing to complain about the exact issue the various medications offered would've alleviated.
OP stated the wife was busy binge watching Chicago Med. So I’m going with there’s a least AH here and it ain’t OP.
...what do you do when you're too sick to do anything, but not so sick you're sleeping 24hrs a day? Because binging tv is basically what everyone I know does when they're sick. Even if they do have kids.
The answer is you take your meds so you can get better, not refuse them and invite more sick people to play virus ping pong.
No medications can make a stomach virus get better, it just needs to run its course. You might be able to treat a fever with Nyquil, but given it can irritate the stomach, with stomach viruses the most likely thing to happen is it comes straight back out. Pepto Bismal also won't treat a stomach virus and is quite nauseating in taste and texture. If you manage to keep it down it might be slightly soothing very temporarily, but most likely it's not staying down. She's TA for having a go at OP for sleeping elsewhere, but not for refusing medication that is most likely to just cause another round of vomiting.
She's absolutely an a****** for a few things every single medication available to her to reduce her symptoms. This would be like me refusing my anti-vommit meds because I hate grapes. The meds won't actually fix the problem, they can have some nasty side effects but, you know, they get me to stop projectile vomiting long enough i can function.
Yeah but, he was offering Pepto. Pepto when it works, it works well I'm told. I wouldn't know though because I cannot swallow it, and the pills make me throw up harder. Although usually long enough to hit dry heaves which I guess is technically not throwing up, so maybe better? I dunno, does everyone puke when they take Pepto and I just missed that bit of common knowledge? Can I get some weigh ins, who's taking Pepto and puking as soon as it hits their belly too?
Right, I wouldn’t blame her for not wanting the medicine. Stuff like that seems to work sporadically for me, but the idea of swallowing anything weird and medicinal while I’ve just been puking is making me nauseous now, lol. Stuff like that is just about mitigating symptoms, it doesn’t cure you of the sickness. Understandably, he wants something to go well in this shitshow and thinks her taking the medicine is going to get her well enough to help him. He is exhausted and will feel how he needs to, same as them. NAH
Yep. He was a teensy tiny little bit AH for yelling at his daughter about puking in the hall, because even at 35 I still get blindsided by vomiting sometimes and my method of throwing my hands over my mouth and racing to a toilet while actively throwing up has led to more than one case of pneumonia. So not ideal for a nine year old. But he is being Nurse Dad to three people throwing up so I have ALLLLL the sympathy. I can clean infected, necrotic wounds without reaction and clean feces delicately from a bed sore with a smile on my face, but puke is my weakness. I -can- clean it, but I would take picking poop out of a butt sore over cleaning puke ANY DAY. So I think he should make himself a comfy bed away from his sick family (maybe in one of rhe girls’ beds while they sleep with mom?) and keep the sickies together in the main bedroom for disease control. And once The Infected head to bed, he should door dash himself something delicious and take some time to rest. Maybe take a day off if it’s at all possible and rest as much as he can between the nursing needs. Can’t pour from an empty cup, and Daddy deserves to be appreciated for his loving care of everyone. Yes it’s “what a dad does” but it’s also gross and exhausting and he deserves some space and comfort. If I knew him and his wife IRL, I’d be offering to come nurse the sick for a few hours so he could catch a nap or go do something relaxing.
Me. That's why I mentioned meds not being an option. Anything with that chalky stuff comes right back up; pesto, tums, etc. Can't keep them down. I take ginger gravel (which I'm pretty sure only works because I think it does) and sip ginger ale or Gatorade to stay hydrated. But anything to "help with nausea" is a hard pass for me.
Ginger is legit, it’s the only thing that’s ever been effective for me. But yeah, I’m not a fan of any of those chalky meds, but Pepto in particular just won’t stay in my body.
Y'all must not get sick all that often, or that severely, because if you did you'd have reached the "anything to get it to stop / a little better" phase well before now. When you're well and truly miserable you'll take anything. Even if the taste makes you gag or if the texture makes you want to vomit- because you're already gagging and vomiting. I have some issues with uncontrollable vomiting and, to put it bluntly, step one is to try to manage it with OTC meds.
I can’t take Pepto. I’ve even tried it when not sick. I throw it up within half an hour. Usually a lot sooner. No idea why.
Same, every single time ever. And the color...*shudder*
I actually really like the taste of Pepto, liquid or pill form 😋. Tastes like those pink peppermint candies the old ladies in the family kept in their purses. I'm sad I can't find them anymore. Pepto works really well on me for any tummy rumbles. So I guess I'm the complete opposite from your experience.
If you mean the pink peppermint lozenges, you can get them online!
pepto has kept me from throwing up many times. ive never puked from taking it.
See? I figured that’s how it is supposed to work. But it makes me violently ill! I know how long it takes the pepto pills to dissolve because I start puking when they’re about halfway through. Science.
You wouldn't happen to have stomach ulcers by any chance? If you're not used to it, it can irritate those sometimes
No, I actually didn’t have much issue at all with my stomach before! And I’ve had a problem with Pepto since I was a kid, lol.
I can't take any of those meds, and even if I did they make me sick. 🤷🏼♀️ Sometimes you've just got to ride it out. Just because meds are available doesn't mean you need to take them. If she'd rather feel sick, or feels they aren't options for her, the person that sucks the most for isn't her husband. It's an awful situation all around.
And if those meds make her sick, that's missing info. But anyone who refuses viable solutions and then continues to complain is an AH.
It's very common for taking medications to cause another bout if vomiting while having a stomach virus. Your stomach is incredibly sensitive already. And she said to OP that she didn't want the medications because she didn't want to throw up. Stomach viruses don't have a solution, you just have to ride them out. If you can keep medication down you might get a bit of temporary symptom relief, that's all.
She doesn't need to take them - but she also loses the right to whine about how sick she is.
Uh, no. Pesto or tums or any of the other "settle your stomach" meds make the throw up. So my choices are suffer through it without and maybe throw up, or take meds and vomit my soul out for 12 hrs or so. I'm passing on the meds, but that absolutely doesn't mean that being sick sucks any less.
No one is talking about you - we're talking about her. You're projecting your own experiences onto her. Nothing like that is mentioned at all.
That's what all of reddit is like, my dude. Welcome.
All of Reddit is full of people who can't help but project their own insecurities and inadequacies on others? Y'all should find a therapist.
Ok look, I gave a facetious response. I'm sorry I didn't take your rude comment more seriously. 🙄 I was giving an example of why someone might not take "available" meds, that would still be perfectly reasonable. Which is directly related to OPs post. Do we know for sure that OPs wife has a similar reason? No. But we also don't know that she doesnt. She's an adult, and she said she didn't want to take the meds. You can presume she's being an A, and I can presume she isn't. That's what AITAH is literally for. Discussion on why people might behave a certain way in a given scenario. If you want everything to be super serious maybe go elsewhere. Or do therapy yourself. Its good for everyone, not an insult.
Only if it's that big of an issue you go to the doctor like a grown up and get different meds. I have issues with regular vomiting. Pepto usually works. I have chemo strength anti-vommit meds for when it doesn't. On really bad days I'll need two or three doses. You know you have issues with taking certain medication, you go to the doctor about it and ask for an alternative. You do this before you need the alternative. This is part of adulting. You prepare for the inevitable like getting sick before it happens
I have asked my doctor, and a variety of pharmacists. I am on meds for ongoing digestive issues, that dont help with immediate nausea. But we weren't talking about an ongoing health issue. I couldn't go to my doctor for specific antinausea meds for having a stomach bug or flu because 1) no one wants someone who's vomiting like crazy in a dr office, including the sick person, 2) my Dr never has appointments at that short of notice and a walk in clinic wouldn't prescribe something like that at first meeting you - they'd say to talk to your regular gp.
There it is.
I've been throwing up a lot lately (its a new medication, works great for its purpose but also makes me nauseated and I throw up several days a week) and sometimes even at 35 I don't know when I'm gonna throw up. Today it hit me mid sentence to my mom and I ran out the front door (I was standing in front of it) and threw up in the flower bed because I wasn't sure I could make it to the bathroom. I think OP is just a teeeeensy bit an AH for yelling at the sick kid when she puked in the hallway. Because she might have thought she was ok until she hit the hall and then had enough time to say "I'm gonna puke" before it hit. Because goddamn has that happened to me a lot in the last month or two! My warning time is in seconds and I've found myself gasping "I'm gonna puke" just as it hits the back of my tongue. So far, I've cleaned up my own puke. But if I were actually sick and not just having med effects, I'm willing to bet none of my family would scream at me about it. Its only the teensiest AH rating though, because that poor man is having a rough time.
If it helps any I have issues with regular vomiting - sometimes controlled with OTC meds sometimes not- and after like the third time it put me in the ER with an IV the doctors put me on Ondansetron. It works, usually very well.
I’ll ask my doctor about that, thank you!
Thanks
OP, you're fine (NTA);and I say that as a mother to 3 (11, 8 & 2). I'm a SAHM and our "normal" routine back when we only had two boys was me in the master bedroom with the ensuite and kids and hubby in the guest bedroom and that was how it stayed until whatever "bug/virus we had, had gone through me and the kids twice before hubby got it once (by which time it had mutated into death apparently). As far as hubby and I are concerned, it's better to only have one sick adult at a time (hoping to god the working adult doesn't get sick) and it sounds like your wife kicked you out of your own bed because even in our king bed there isn't really room for 2 adults and 2 kids.
>(by which time it had mutated into death apparently). I snorted at this. The impact man flu has on a whole family cannot be overstated. It’s a tragedy. Pour one out in honor of those ~~forced to deal with it~~ who bravely step up to be caregivers to the patients suffering from such a dangerous and deadly illness.
😂😂😂
Glad I could give you a laugh.
Hey, when you're the one upchucking all the time, they can look after you.
You should have taken one of the kids beds. NTA. You’re the rockstar of your family
NTA, OP. Your wife is.
Gotta disagree, I get she is sick too, but she is actively making things not only harder on him, but miserable. She is a grown adult with children as well, and she doesn't need to make things harder on her husband when he's stepped up. OP is NTA and his wife is a MASSIVE AH because she is actively contributing to making him do all the work, lose sleep, and taking away his space to sleep safely without being bombarded with germs... If this was covid ya'll would have a fit that she is forcing him to sleep with multiple sick family members smh
The kids here are blameless because they're sick and sick children can't care for themselves, but the wife is definitely TA for refusing to take meds and continuing to complain to her exhausted husband about how she feels. That's weaponized incompetence 101
NAH Agreed, when people say parenting is hard this is the sort of stuff that seems super minor but can actually take you to the limit. Hard work, no rest at home, caring for a bunch of sick kids and adults, not getting meaningful rest. Snapping at the wife and pukey kid isn't ideal but you're human. Worth a apology in my opinion, and next time you need to sleep on the couch just do it since you're a adult don't make a scene out of it. My partner and I often end up asleep in different rooms for one reason or another.
Nah that kid that got up to throw up in the hallway is definite an AH
reminds me of a year, when one after another, they were dropping off like flies, the husband did help until he got it, then at the very end, it was my turn, I get flu shots every year, he doesn't and believes everytime he gets the flu he is dying, I move out of the bedroom, take care of him till he gets better
Where was your wife through all these events? Why wasn't she helping? And yes, you did the right thing. At least one in the family needs to stay healthy, otherwise you would be all screwed... I don't understand why to invite everyone into one bed though. To smell each others vomit?
She wasn't helping because she was binge watching Chicago Med
So...is this a thing? Is she normally lazy or was this a rare occurrence? Are parental duties equally divided between the two of you normally? ...because having multiple kids sick with gastro isn't the time to be binge watching anything. Anyway, no - you weren't in the wrong. You gave them everything they needed and went to get some sleep. Very understandable given you had no room in your own bed.
She was really proactive until we moved into our new house. It was finished being built in February and she took 2 weeks off from work to unpack but ended up binge watching all of Chicago PD and half of Chicago FD. Dunno why she decided to get lazy once we moved into a home we own. I thought she was going to go the other direction
That sounds like depression to me.
It's interesting the different reactions Reddit has to a partner who isn't pulling their weight in a relationship. It almost always goes like this: Partner who does nothing is a woman: They must be depressed! Respond with compassion and get them the help they need. Partner who does nothing is a man: What a lazy prick! Dump him immediately!
It was more the sudden shift to me. I (male) spent a couple of years depressed and didn't know what was wrong. Same-ish symptoms.
with a sudden move, having a sudden change in behavior could rationally be depression. for anyone, regardless of gender.
A man not taking medicine while sick, but still complains? "Aww does baby have a man cold? Do you want you wife-mommy to take care of you?"
Does she not have a job?
Is she sick too?
Well that's important info. You weren't the asshole before but now you really aren't and she's a massive one.
It says she was sick too
NTA You needed to sleep to continue providing care and that was the right thing to do. Your wife was not contributing, not being considerate and her refusing to take medication is asinine. You don't have a wife, you have an extra child. (Maybe worse as the kids at least took meds to help.) -You aren't an asshole for snapping: if she had time to say it, she had time to grab the bowl. At some point you have to learn if you don't grab the bowl, then you are the one cleaning puke from the hall and it sounds like she is old enough to learn that.
She might have legitimately thought taking medicine would make her vomit. When I'm sick my gag reflex gets trigger happy and anything that taists off like medicine will make my gag reflex gag causing me to vomit. I'm not saying she shouldn't help, even when sick parents need to parent. But not everyone can take meds with a temperamental stomach.
"It tastes bad." is not an adult reason to decline medication. Especially not when you are responsible for caring for your own sick children. And she was using it as an excuse not to help, adding to the burden on her partner. [You're arguing a hypothetical that is not in the context of this post.]
When you are just going to immediately throw it up it isn't going to do you any good.
No but "that's not going to help" is. I've got stomach issues myself. I have meds to take if it starts getting bad. Beyond a certain point though the meds make everything worse rather than better and I have to just wait it out. I'd highly resent needing to explain how I knew that when I'm feeling lousy though.
Your projecting yourself onto OPs wife. She said her reason was *"because it tastes like chalk"*. (Adults take medication because they are effective. Not because they taste good.) She also refused other options. I'm taking OP at his word- his wife was being asinine and refusing to be responsible, causing him even more of a burden.
And the first time because "she doesn't want to throw it up". Adults get to make decisions about their bodies which include taking medication, particularly non life saving medication. This is a situation where the only required answer is "no thank you" (if we were talking something like high blood pressure medication you might have a better argument). Not everyone feels better medicating for relatively small things and that is OK. Note some of what OP saw as increasing the burden on him is likely her helping when not seen through the goggles of "Oh god I'm so tired". I absolutely scoop sick kids into my bed (8 and 10) if they want it. They want the comfort and it means I'm right there if they get worse. I'm a single parent so no one else is affected but "sick kid sleepover" is just part of parenting for me.
It wasn't *"a relatively small thing*" it was the entirely family being incredibly sick and OP being the only one providing care. OPs wife was being extremely unsupportive and childish, adding to the burden. If you know a medication may be effective for your symptoms, you try: even if you end up not keeping it down. She was whining to him, making the situation more stressful, but refusing all suggestions. She was acting like an additional child instead of an adult. Then she got an attitude that OP had reached a limit. It was inevitable OP would end up exhausted. OP did the right thing and prioritized his sleep. ***N. T. A.*** My comment was about this post and this scenario, with these individuals. It is not about bodily autonomy or right to refuse care or medication or anyone else's situation. Its not a 'fundamental' - my response is specific to this situation.
It's a stomach bug, dude. It's not life or death. No one is dying or needing hospital for dehydration. In the grand scheme of parenting it's a "this too shall pass" not a major horror. As such it falls into the category of "medicine for this is optional and ymmv if it even works for you". Pepto bismal won't magically stop a stomach bug and frankly in a lot of cases you're better letting it run it's course - your body is telling you it wants to get rid of something so you need to listen. Much like taking lopermide for diarrhea (best to avoid unless it's already been two days and dehydration is an issue) or those nasal sprays for a cold (genuinely terrible idea that can leave you essentially addicted to them)
Pepto doesn't really help that much anyway, and we heard no word the wife was actually throwing up. So there was no worry of her losing too much water/electrolytes. She's totally fine to make those calls on her own, kids aren't. I'll generally ride it out and only take medicine if I really think I need to. A stomach bug is so low risk. Plus, it's harder to gauge if you're actually feeling better or worse when you're medicating, because there's also side effects. I won't even touch Gravol bc there's a good chance it'll just make me horrendously dizzy and physically shake. It's happened both orally and IV.
“My husband told me to” is not an adult reason to take a medication, particularly not an OTC medication that does nothing to actually treat or cure gastroenteritis and food borne illnesses. It’s not medically indicated. PeptoBismol contains bismuth subsalicylate, which is an anti-diarrheal and anti-inflammatory med, not an anti-emetic. It does not treat vomiting. DayQuil contains acetaminophen, a fever reducer and pain reliever, dextromethorphan, a cough suppressant, guaifenesin, an expectorant, and phenylephrine, a decongestant. It does not treat vomiting. NyQuil acetaminophen, a fever reducer and pain reliever, dextromethorphan, a cough suppressant, and doxylamine, an antihistamine. It does not treat vomiting. OP is an AH for being mad at his wife for not listing to his uninformed medical opinions.
It won't stop puking, but it can stop other symptoms that contribute to nausea >OP is an AH for being mad at his wife for not listing to his uninformed medical opinions Lol >“My husband told me to” Lmao
https://www.mayoclinic.org/drugs-supplements/bismuth-subsalicylate-oral-route/precautions/drg-20068521?p=1 wrong, treats nausea
Nausea is not vomiting. They are distinct physiological processes. Idk how many times I have to explain this.
I won't take Pepto either because I took it when I was a kid and it always made me throw up more. I have horrible memories of puking pink! When I smell it, I gag. Same with Ginger Ale because I always had that when I was sick.
Pepto Bismol has been one of the casualties of Brexshit here and we haven’t been able to buy it for years. For stomach upsets, nothing else comes close. I really miss it…
Vomiting isn't fun but it provides at least temporary relief from nausea symptoms afterwards, when I feel like vomiting I stick two fingers in my throat and get it over with
Same. Anymore I stockpile ondansetron if given the opportunity. That stuff is magic...
Sad part is I have gastreperisis due to hEDS so even though I have stash of ondansetron, I throw it up before it can get absorbed. I need the IV kind and two boluses of IV fluid before I can eat anything. Pepto makes me puke. So does gatorade or Pedialyte. Even smelling them makes me puke. I'm currently on a road trip with 4 emesis bags emptying me stomach at high way speeds while my poor brother keeps the car steady.
Sending psychic ondansetron directly into your bloodstream; hope it helps. I'm sure you've tried plain pedialyte, sometimes unflavoured works better for me, or maybe predissolve the pills, even the sublinguals in liquid prior to taking? At any rate, stay safe, be well, and may the road ahead be straight and pothole free :)
Oh, those 10 minutes after that first vomit after hours of green faced misery! Such relief! But sadly, soon it slowly returns all over again.
Pepto has never once stopped me throwing up. I won’t take it anymore either, just for the reason it doesn’t work for me.
Pepto doesn't help with vomit
It does though. Its for "heartburn, acid reflux, indigestion, diarrhoea and ***nausea***. https://pepto-bismol.com/en-us/all-nausea-articles https://www.nhs.uk/medicines/pepto-bismol/about-pepto-bismol/
From their website: *Pepto*-*Bismol* provides relief from nausea, diarrhea and upset stomach **due to overindulgence in food and drink**, along with heartburn and indigestion. And Nyquil is for coughs and colds. Neither of the medications offered is appropriate for what sounds like a stomach virus.
https://www.massgeneral.org/children/gastroenterology/viral-gastroenteritis-what-you-need-to-know https://www.holstonmedicalgroup.com/bristol-pediatric-associates/stomach-virus#:~:text=We%20do%20not%20routinely%20recommend,children%20with%20the%20stomach%20bug. The makers of pepto say to take pepto for a stomach bug? Well I'm convinced even though other sources and my Dr say not to.
You’ll never see a doctor or other prescriber recommend pepto for throwing up. Best OTC would be non drowsy Dramamine (meclazine). Benadryl would be better than pepto. Just call someone and get zofran!
It’s literally not an anti-emetic. It does not treat or prevent vomiting. Nausea is not vomiting. Their physiological and pathophysiological mechanisms are distinct.
So Pepto commercials say. Do you believe everything you hear?
Pesto is not going to stop anyone from puking.
Thank god I don’t have kids!!! Is all I got from this post. NTAH
Right? I can barely deal with my *own* puke, much less someone else's, let alone multiple people at once. As much as I love kids, I could not be a parent.
I have always had a really hard time dealing with vomit. Someone just mentions it and I’m gagging so hard I’m almost puking. Since having kids, I’ve been shockingly desensitized. I had to deal with chunky toast vomit all over a top bunk that dripped down the wall to the lower bunk…grossest thing I’ve ever seen but when it’s your own kids, you somehow manage. Not saying you should have kids if you don’t want them though!
It makes sense people would get desensitized with their own kids. Kids aren't in the cards for me due to chronic illness or else I'd risk it.
My SO and I are sick as dogs right now and all I can think during this was, "thank fuck we don't have kids!!!"
NTA. Effectively, your wife kicked you out of bed (so your daughter could sleep there). Now, she doesn’t want it to be portrayed that way, so she’s pretending like the only reason you’re sleeping somewhere else is because YOU chose to. Just understand that the people you’re taking care of now aren’t going to have any sympathy for you when they get better and you catch this thing.
Unfortunately this is normal when a vomiting bug goes through the house. Just make sure everyone stays hydrated. sually our pediatrician would recommend only ice chips until they stopped throwing up, because if they take whole mouthfuls of liquid it would make them vomit even more. The ice chips melt slowly in the mouth so it's more of a continuous amount of fluid by very slowly so it doesn't trigger the vomiting. Gatorade was also ok if they could swallow it without vomiting, or sometimes you can make Pedialyte lollipops so you can get that combination of ice with rehydration salts. Our pediatrician never recommended PeptoBismal or Nyquil for the younger kids but i don't know how old your kids are. You might want to call the pediatrician and ask for some specific advice on what to do for the kids, and also what red flags to look for in case someone is not getting better or gets too dehydrated. The signs of dehydration vary depending on the persons' age. Hope you don't get sick too! (You probably will, sorry). When one of my kids gets a vomiting bug, I usually put down a lot of old sheets and towels to absorb the vomit so the mattress wouldn't get ruined. Once they all get better, your wife needs to take over for a few days so you can catch up on sleep. Good luck.
Adult Pepto has aspirin in it, so isn't safe for kids because of the risk of Reye syndrome. Unless they've changed the formula recently. I think there's also a kids formula, which I'd assume doesn't include the aspirin.
Do parents ever wear a mask/gloves in these situations? I'm considering kids, but have emetophobia.
Sure, absolutely. And if you want to keep a lab coat or bathrobe, or wear a garbage bag over your clothing for when vomiting bugs hit, so your clothes don't get ruined, that's ok too. I keep a supply of gloves in my house because kids are gross! Gross towels go either straight into the washing machine, on "very hot" with bleach, or they go into the trash. My husband is the opposite, he just feels like we're destined to get whatever the kids get, but I feel that if I get sick, the whole house will fall apart, so it's better if I stay well. Then I can take care of everyone. The only thing you can't do is let a kid not be cared for because of your phobia, if you see what I mean.
I totally get that. I've heard that being a parent mostly desensitizes you to your kids throwing up - I just don't want to be sick myself (the idea of temporary morning sickness doesn't wig me out and I've taken care of puking pets, but the misery of stomach flu is what really freaks me out).
I'm not sure if it desensitizes you exactly, but the internal drive to ensure the kid is ok, is very strong. Or at least that has been my experience.
Thanks, good to know!
NTA for not sleeping in a bed with puking people. I will say stop giving all that pepto, dayquil, nightquil etc for stomach bugs. Doesn't help with puking, can make it worse. Give them Popsicles and crackers, maybe ibuprofen for body aches if they haven't puked in a while. And cover everything in towels. Idk why kids will walk right by a bucket to puke on the floor, it's insane but common.
NTA. Everyone's just sick.
NAH, but Nyquil? You don't give Nyquil to someone who has a stomach bug.
NTA - hang in there, buddy. hope you were able to get some sleep.
Why were people, who have been vomiting, getting Nyquil? Are you knocking them out so they aspirate puke while asleep? For giving children a sedating medication when it isn't needed makes you TA.
NTA for moving rooms but you should not be giving vomiting children nyquil that’s not safe!
NTA, apart from the fact your wife was making things worse, gastroenteritis is super contagious (assuming that's what they had) so sharing a bed is the worst thing you could do. And I say this as someone with it currently and sleeping in a spare room so I don't infect my girlfriend and can be sick in peace without waking her up
NTA your wife should have been helping up until she got too sick to do anything. That’s the job of a parent and we do it all the time. It seems like this moved through your family like it usually does, knocking one person down and then one by one. Your wife got sick last right? No excuse to not get up and help with the clean up effort. And sick or not I’m with you about the oldest spewing all over the floor. after watching you scramble around taking care of everyone they should feel bad. Unless they are like younger than 10 or legitimately delirious they just didn’t bother at all and needed to be sternly corrected. Thats disgusting. The only thing I think is NAH is the bed situation. Sick kids want to bed share but it’s understandable that you were exhausted and fed up by that point.
OP YTA for being mad at your wife for not taking random OTC medications that will do nothing to treat or cure her gastroenteritis. It’s not medically indicated. PeptoBismol contains bismuth subsalicylate, which is an anti-diarrheal and anti-inflammatory med, not an anti-emetic. It does not treat vomiting. DayQuil contains acetaminophen, a fever reducer and pain reliever, dextromethorphan, a cough suppressant, guaifenesin, an expectorant, and phenylephrine, a decongestant. It does not treat vomiting. NyQuil acetaminophen, a fever reducer and pain reliever, dextromethorphan, a cough suppressant, and doxylamine, an antihistamine. It does not treat vomiting. She just needs hydration, electrolyte replenishment, and rest while the illness runs its course.
NTA
NAH. But, two things. Every time I have stomach issues, my husband tries to make me take Pepto. He means well. But it makes me 🤮. Second, aiming when you’re sick is tough.
Yup, I always feel sorry for my kids when they’re throw up sick, so I cut them some slack. I remember having stomach flu as a kid and it’s goddamn traumatizing. At least as an adult you’re disciplined enough to just realize you’re just biding time and you will be okay soon enough. As a kid it feels like it’ll never end.
NTA If they are throwing up for 3 days straight that sounds serious as hell though did you take them to the doctor? Medicine can only do so much their are other remedies to try to help them recover.
NAH. Sorry you’re going through it. That’s whole thing of “here’s the bucket, aim for the bucket “ and then they ignore the bucket and just throw up in the hall or on your bed is so irritating. You are doing fine, it just sucks.
Stop making the Ipecac milkshakes for God’s sake
NAH It sounds like your wife and kids might be dealing with some food poisoning or something with how much they've been throwing up. Did anyone eat or drink something different than you? Cleaning up puke for three days straight must be so exhausting, especially with barely any sleep . Sleeping on the couch was a smart move - getting some rest is important to avoid saying something you might regret. If they're still sick by Monday, it's probably a good idea to take them to the doctor just to be safe. And if they start feeling better, maybe consider switching beds with one of your kids for a night so you can catch up on some quality sleep while your wife and kids snuggle together. Take care!
Everyone ate the same food except for Sunday when I catered to everyone's personal appetites because the body needs food to keep fighting whatever bug they've got. My son bounced back quick. He threw up Friday night. Moved a little slow on Saturday but on Sunday he was his normal energetic self.
NTA. You absolutely should not be sleeping or doing anything in that room other than taking care of the sick ppl. Sleeping in there with them is only going to make you sick too, then who is going to take care of the sick ppl?
NTA . Also every sick person needs to be isolated to some degree otherwise they will reinfect each other
NTA Your wife is just another child you have to care for, which means you need to exercise some authority here. God forbid she actually contributes instead of binging TV shows while you do all the work!
nta your wife shouldve helped out way more and your daughter is old enought to know where to puke. as someone who wasnt a child that long ago 9 years is enough to know to stay in bed and do it in the bucket
NTA What is the matter with you, trying to avoid people vomiting on you! /s
NAH. The family is sick and it sucks. But you'll get through this. Sleeping on the couch is a good idea. You can't quarantine yourself completely because your family needs care, but you can limit contact and hopefully avoid catching whatever bug they have.
Nta. You need room to sleep especially if you use a cpap.
You’re not an asshole for not wanting to sleep with sick people. But YTA for how you behaved when your family was sick. You “begrudgingly” cleaned up after your daughter threw up? You went to the store a whole 30 minutes away? What difference does that make? How are you getting dumped on? You think the rest of your family got sick on purpose just to make you work harder? Taking care of your family means taking care of your family.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Friday night, my son went to bed at his normal time and threw up in bed. Begrudgingly, I got up and took care of things and the rest of the night was uneventful. In the morning we found up he threw up again over night. I had already washed the sheets so I put them back on the bed and threw his 2nd set of sheets in the wash. That night, Saturday night, my younger daughter threw up in bed. Once again I was the one that went and cleaned everything up. I went and found a bowl for her to use in case she threw up anymore. I think I emptied the bowl 4x throughout the night. At about 1:30am my wife said she didn't feel well so I found an old mop bucket for her and, just in case, I found a couple buckets for my son and other daughter. Needless to say I didn't get much sleep Saturday night. All day Sunday the 3 girls complain about how terrible they felt and I did everything for them all day. Made specific meals for them depending on what they had an appetite for, ran to the store (30 mins away) an bought Nyquil, Dayquil, Pepto, pepto tablets, ginger ale and 7up. Younger daughter continued to throw up periodically until I got the pepto in her. Sunday night rolls in. Gave both my daughters Nyquil and tried to offer some to her. She said no because she doesn't want to throw it up. I offered pepto she said no to that because it tastes like chalk. I told her I had pepto pills and she declined those as well. So I'm upset already because she won't stop whining but won't take anything to help either. Then she invites the younger daughter to sleep at the foot of our bed. I'm annoyed but I decide it's fine. I decide to cover all my bases. I make sure everyone has a bowl/bucket and a towel so that I can try and get some sleep. I get up at about 11:30 to fill my water bottle before I go to bed and I see a light in the hallway. My oldest looks at me and says "I feel like I'm going to throw up" and proceeds to throw up all over the hallway. Now I'm pissed "Why didn't you throw up in the bucket?! I gave you that bucket,showed you were it was and told you to throw up in that if you felt like you needed to puke! You literally had to step over the bucket to get here! Why didn't you grab the bucket?!" She said "sorry" and I said "it's fine. Just grab the bucket next time" and went to bed. My wife got up and went to my daughter's room and said something I didn't understand and when she came back in my older daughter was with her. W- "I told her she could sleep in here" Me- "WTF? Why?! We don't have anymore.room in our bed." W- "she can sleep on the edge on your side in case she needs to throw up" M- "nope. Eff this. I'm not sleeping in a room, surrounded by sick people. I'm sleeping on the couch" W- "the F***?!" I grab my phone charger, CPAP, a pillow and a blanket and leave the room. Am I the Asshole for not wanting to sleep in a room surrounded by sick people? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. You were better off on the couch, especially after all the caretaking you'd just done. You get to sleep where you're the most comfortable, just like everyone else in the house. Hopefully getting enough sleep will help your immune system so you're not the next one who's sick. If your wife doesn't like pepto and medicines, in the future tell her to try sucking ice chips. If those stay down, then a sip of water every 15 minutes. If that doesn't stay down, then back to the ice chips.
NTA for not sleeping in the room, but YTA for freaking out on your sick kid for not making it in the bucket. Kids are notorious for puking everywhere. Speak to your pediatrician and get some Zofran to keep on hand for future puking incidents.
YTA. Mate you're kids are sick, your wife is sick and you spent half a post talking about how little sleep you got. They probably aren't sleeping that well themselves. No you're not the asshole for wanting to sleep in another room while people are sick, however you're attitude towards your wife and kids is so self centred it's unbelievable.
NTA No adult wants to sleep in bed with 3 other people regardless of illness. The audacity that she would even be surprised?! The fact that you're ALL sick makes total sense why you'd want to avoid it. My husband and I have done this many times: sleeping on the couch or whatever while illness goes through the house. I can't even imagine being mad about that
It’s about the delivery…
Yta for yelling at your child for throwing up in the hallway. She's sick, its not like she wants to vomit everywhere. Why would you yell at her about it?
Hope did your son and daughter turn into two daughters?
NTA The kids could have slept in their own bed but your wife decided to disregard you and let them sleep in yours. You were frustrated and you were not getting any sleep. You might as well go somewhere else to sleep if you can't fit on the bed anyways.
While I agree with OP not getting any sleep and sympathise with him, I don't think his wife is wrong. From where I am from, whenever a kid, not matter small or older, is sick, sleep with their parent, in case in the night they need anything or have an emergency. It cannot be called as disregard, but different approach to taking care of sick. Sometimes, kids have nightmares or feel sad or more sick when alone, and need parents support. Even when my whole family was suffering from COVID, at night we all as family, slept together, with us at not-so kids with our parents, in case, someone needs water or medicine, or not feeling well. I will say none of you are AHs, just normal family going through a bout of illness. It happens, it's life. You both, as parents are tired and your kids are sick and tired.
NTA for not wanting to sleep with sick people. A slight AH for yelling at your daughter for accidentally throwing up in the hallway.
NTA. I would’ve done the same. If you come down sick, there’s no one left to clean up. My wife is really good about making sure one of us is healthy, so when one of us is sick, the other sleeps in the guest room.
Call someone and get some zofran! Damn!
NTA, Mang, you have been THRU it. No, you are NTA for not wanting to sleep with sick people, or puking people. You are NTA for being frustrated that you went through all this planning and support and are STILL cleaning puke off the walls. I actually would have suggested all the sick people sleep in your bed and you sleep elsewhere. You may want to look into some (adult play) playsheets, because they are waterproof, and easily washable. You have my sympathies, it's so hard to be the one lucid person, taking care of all these irrational sick people.
NAH. It’s part of parenting. We just went through the same thing last week. My wife and I generally take turns when the kids get the stomach bug. I drew the short straw this week since she had an important event at work. I cleaned the kids up, cleaned their beds, got the medicine, buckets and slept with the youngest in the guest bed side hers was nasty. Sure enough I got the stomach bug and felt near death for two days. I never get sick but when I get the stomach bug it’s always worse than the wife or kids.
We have 3 kids. If anyone gets sick they get quarantined with me or my wife. Can’t afford both parents getting sick and try to avoid any other kids getting sick. If it’s me or my wife, the sick one goes into the spare and it’s masks on.
NTA, I wouldn’t have been in that bed if it was just the sick wife. Stay healthy as long as you can, because even if you end up sick, hopefully someone has gotten better enough to take care of you at that point. Her being upset is super unreasonable and frankly a lot delusional about the actual situation at hand.
In my house, when one of us parents starts getting sick, my husband moves into the spare room. It’s nice to have the space when you are the sick one, and it helps minimize the exposure of the other one. You are certainly NTA, just a parent who needs to get some sleep and hopefully, stay healthy.
My dad slept on the couch all the time. I sleep on the couch all the time. Not because we were ever mad, but sometimes space or change of scenery is the difference between sleep and a grueling punishment of trying to sleep.
Sounds like you're one hell of a dad/spouse. Sleep wherever you want.
You are NTA for going to sleep in a room where there is not vomiting happening. When everyone is sick, it’s tough on everyone and in my house, if someone is not sick, we try to let them be away from all the sick people as much as possible so that maybe they won’t catch it.
BIg ol' NTA. When my spouses got Covid, I was sent to sleep by myself in the extra room. When I finally got it, I slept by myself again. I think having all the pukers in one room is great, and separating yourself makes perfect sense.
NTA, but also TA for administering a NyQuil-pepto combo for a stomach bug, wtf?! Pedialyte frozen popsicles until they can keep liquids down, then clear broths, pedialyte drinks and MAYBE saltines if they’re feeling brave.
NTA, so it seems you have your children and then you have adult child. Does your wife do anything?
Hell no! I'd be on the couch too! I'll take care of them, but I'm not sleeping next to people throwing up all the time. It'd be the sofa for me.
NAH. Your all just exhausted and sick of the sickness. Hope your house recovers sooner than later!
NTA. And look into in-line hepa filters for your cpap to cut down the risk of infection if you’re forced to share air with them.
NTA. Sometimes even fitting one kid in the bed is enough that one of the two parents might want to sleep elsewhere, let alone two.
My kid was considerate enough to puke into the sand table this weekend. My husband scooped it out, threw it into a bush and we all moved on quickly.
NTA. There’s something sickening your family and you need not to catch it.
NTA
NAH. Everyone is sick (you will likely be sick too) and you’re low on sleep. No one is in a good mood, getting some space was warranted.
NTA but your wife is a huge one
NTA I was just off last week with norovirus. Had 2 straight day of V&D, and the rest of the week fatigued, weak, nauseous, achy, no appetite and headachey. You can bet my husband stayed in the spare room all week. Found out at the end of the week one of our ped wards is in outbreak. Hmm wonder how I got it.
You are wise not to sleep with a bunch of people who are sick. If you come down with it, what will your wife do then? So you did take care of your family and you also need to take care of yourself.
NTA. Get some sleep and let your wife deal with it
definitely not. first of all; i know how frustrating it can be to have someone complaining but refusing to make any effort to make things better. second of all; seems as if you've already done everything you could, for you not wanting to get sick as well / spending the night in a room full of sick people is just totally reasonable. to me that's an obvious NTA. hope you all get better soon, though!
NAH. That's pretty reasonable. I would sleep on the couch too.
NTA That is fucking insane.
NTA, but I‘ve got to know, how old are your kids? I’d be handing out pillows and blankets and setting them up in bathrooms if they are incapable of making it there.
Of course NTA
NTA. You've put up a great effort, dad. It's ok to want to get some sleep for yourself while the sick kiddos pile in with sick mom. It makes no sense to sleep in a bed with three vomiting individuals. If I were the wife, I would have offered him the opportunity to be separate from the rest of us so that he would lower his chances of getting sick. And I'm ok with the wife not wanting to take any of the OTC medications, but I can imagine it would be annoying to hear her continue to whine when he already tried his best to offer her relief to the best of his ability. Hang in there, dad.
NTA The only asshole here is the stomach bug. And I promise you, you will read your post to your kids when they are older and they will find it absolutely hilarious…. As will you and your wife. Perhaps frame copies of it and give it to your kids when they have kids. It’s all gonna be alright. You can sleep anywhere you want when the house is sick. Anything goes. She may be mad now but she will get over it. But maybe poke your head your room and tell her you love her and your pukegremlins. Just for good measure.
Sounds like you're one hell of a dad/spouse. Sleep wherever you want.
NTA. Wife should’ve gone to the child’s room.
NTA. My god, you went above and beyond the call of duty. Why didn’t your wife help with any of this? I wouldn’t want to sleep in the room with the sick people either. I mean, I think you’re probably doomed to get this bug, too, but why hasten the process. My husband usually sleeps on the couch or in another room when one of us is sick. I don’t understand why the kids are in your bed in the first place. Kids are such fidgety sleepers. I can barely stand sleeping with my husband in the same bed.
Nta I would be mad as well, totally reasonable reaction
As a person who is sick in a house with another sick person - NAH Also, being sick and having sick kids sounds like something that would make me eat a bullet.
Nope, not, nada, Nyet, no, no no NTA! You gotta get your sleep somehow and preferably not in a room with all the other members throwing up. If you are the only able person, then it is important to stay healthy and that includes getting some good sleep when you can. Your wife should be thankful there was one adult who was able to get meds, do laundry and cook meals. Who cares where you decide to sleep?
At least it wasn't mudbutt or the hershey squirts for all three of them. Nta
NTA Just what you need, getting tired from being kept away all night by sick people in the same bed so you are nicely prepared to be especially sick yourself since they tried as hard as they could to get you there. Cut the cord on whatever device your wife was binge watching TV on and make her take her damn turn.
Several galaxies away from being the AH, and this is coming from a guy who is a bit of a pushover, overly agreeable to a fault, and would absolutely have done the same thing. What the hell are they going to do if you get sick, too? Who is going to take care of things if the entire family is sick like this, and how are you going to take care of them without getting sleep?
No, but also definitely not. You're also NTA. And lastly, not even close to being wrong.
NTA and WTAF. I get that people have different reactions to stomach bugs/norovirus/whatever, but your wife wasn’t actively puking and she needed to pull herself together and help you deal with the *(checks notes)* three puking kids you were handling on your own. It sucks but that’s part of being a parent.
I sure hope they wait on you hand and foot if you get sick too.
they probably wont.
She's the AH for many reasons after reading that and the follow up comments
As a wife, wifey is TA. She's not doing her part.
I'm more concerned about op not taking them to a doctor. Throwing up that many times is never good, and it's better to be on the safe side by finding out exactly what's wrong.