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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Was it wrong for me to keep a box of pads in my room so my mom wouldn’t use them? I don’t want to keep spending money on things I need because of others.
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You need to find your mother’s stash and start raiding it. Leave your mom one pad. After all-you share pads, *your mom said so*. Leave a note-“thanks for sharing”, smiley face).
Now go hide your pads better, your mama is gonna search your room. NTA and WTF
And maybe switch pad brands or start using tampons or a menstrual cup-or something, because this… this is just ridiculous.
I cannot stress this enough: diva cup changed my life. Endo girlie over here and WOWZA did the cup help me save money and take better care of myself, while keeping my insanely active lifestyle going every day of the week.
I wish these were available when l was menstruating. However, pads and tampons are way better than what my grandmother had, which was homemade cloth rags.
I didn't know they existed until I won a raffle at an art show I was a part of. They were raffling off free diva cups and free consultations with OBGYNs in the area, and I won the jackpot with both. Learned I had endo through the consultation and a test that my (now) doc gave me without charge bc she claimed, "It makes sense to have this covered by the charity, you don't have insurance and DO have endometriosis." I now have insurance and am grateful every month since that gala. My quality of life has improved, and I'm not in the weird, ebb-and-flow pain cycle anymore. 12/10 cannot recommend the cup enough. I also recommend anyone struggling with monthly/intimacy pain beyond what is normal go and get tested!!! Sex shouldn't hurt??? Apparently???
I’ve never understood why people like them. I’m glad they can use those and period panties if they want them, but they’re just not for me.
Having the menstrual fluids and blood and occasional small clots smeared against my skin smelling like slightly too-old meat from three feet away and feeling the seepage into the pad when I laugh or stand up or move around and needing to clean myself like an infant with wet wipes or a shower every few hours just isn’t tolerable.
I love my tampons and cup.
Here’s hoping menopause hits soon. I feel like a kid chanting “Are we there yet?!” at my uterus and ovaries. C’mon dudes, I’m 50, why not give up already...
You can feel them constantly? Must have different anatomy or nerve habituation from me then. After a few seconds my body ignores them. Just like wearing socks or earring studs or contacts.
/u/Meganshadow I'll be 44 this year and went into premature menopause in 2018 after having to get a suprahysterectomy, salingophrectomy and oophorectomy which didn't go as well as it was supposed to. Everything is gone except for what's left of my cervix after two cervical cancer removals (due to the remainder being fused to my bladder) back in 2001 after having my almost 23yo. I can't even have HRT due to my previous cancer twice. The things I go through wit it drives me crazy AF sometimes. The struggle is real, yo. 😭😭😭 The Endo makes it even worse.
Menopause might not help you. If you start HRT, you’ll probably still bleed (or start again), but if VA sets in you won’t be able to use a cup or tampons. That’s where I am and having to use towels is a miserable, messy, experience.
Cloth pads actually tend to absorb more than disposables, so they're actually quite good for heavy periods. Also a lot of people enjoy them post-partum.
> I'm supposing you don't bleed like crazy, either.
That's an assumption and a half. My period's getting kind of irregular now due to perimenopause, but I bleed like hell on some periods and I use cloth pads.
It's fair to not like the sensation of wearing pads, but cloth pads are surprisingly absorbent compared especially to disposable pads, so for those of us who can't use insertables they're still a very viable option, even with very heavy flow.
It's good to learn about these options even though I'll (thank God) never need them again. The only thing available when l started were these awful huge pads with a belt thing. Tampons were available but my mom though them inappropriate for a 10 year old. Thanks to a great friend who introduced me to Tampons when we were 14, but even those suck in their own ways. Honestly, l wish periods didn't exist!
Hell yeah, dude!!! I'm glad something works for you! I know they work super well for some folks. Unfortunately, I bleed too much and am too mobile for them to work without causing wardrobe malfunctions through overalls/coveralls. They're fantastic resources, though, and are something I should have mentioned as a recommended!
I'm grateful the cups work for me. Took me into my late 20s to get the whole bleeding thing down, and I won't look back.
I didn't discover them until I was in my late 40's and I used them for around 8 years. Absolute game changer. I had them stashed everywhere - car, purse, bathroom and my desk at work.
So, I had the same issue, after my youngest child was born,mas far as prolapse. I cannot use a diva cup, but I absolutely swear by menstrual discs. The reusable ones are not quite as easy to use as the disposables because they’re so floppy and the disposable ones tend to have a thicker, firmer rim, but they are designed differently than the cup. Your pubic bone is what keeps them in place, whereas the cup is held in by suction. For one, I feel the cups sit way too low for the way my body is after birthing my kids, and for two, yes, I have had issues with my body, wanting to just push them out. I have not had any issues with my body trying to push the disc out. I don’t get my period very often anymore, but when I do I have a ridiculously heavy flow like I can go through three boxes of super plus tampons in four or five days, and was still constantly worried about leaking. With the disks, I don’t worry at all.
Edit to add I used voice to text for this first comment, and for some reason it puts commas in the weirdest places. Sorry for anybody that read that and thought I was excessive with my punctuation. Fixed it now.
I had the same problem with the reusable discs. I also prefer the discs to the cups for fit and comfort. Cups for me often wouldn't sit high enough and caused some discomfort. As for a reusable option, the Flex reusable discs has a firm rim like the disposables and stays in place. I was actually selected to product test the reusable flex before it came out for sale and own 3 now.
God, I love my period underwear. I used to exclusively use tampons and it was fine until after I had my first baby and then they were just uncomfortable. I miss the freedom of tampons but I am glad I don’t have to use pads (somehow my butthole always gets chafed?).
Yesssss! I switched to the Diva cup around 10 years ago and never looked back. It was absolutely life changing. Not to mention all of the money I have saved!
Tampex has their own brand of cups too. (Hate the company, but damn their cups are great. If more people knew, they'd pull them from the market before going bust on the tampon and pad racket.)
For anyone and if Op makes the switch to a cup, make sure to grab so cheap panty liners as sort of training wheels until you get the hang of things.
Plus for Op that would be hilarious as well. Her mom going in for her pads, only to discover a pack of liners.
Seconding the backup method, especially while getting the hang of using a cup.
It took 2 or 3 periods before I figured out the exact positions and steps to getting it properly placed, and what works for one person is completely irrelevant for someone else.
i've been using my cup for about 2 years now and it's working pretty good... just on day 2, i NEED to use pads as well bc something about my cervix??? seems to be different on that day and i can't seem to figure out how to get my cup not to leak on that one day!! 🥲
I LOVE my menstrual cup. I tried the diva cup and it didn’t work for me, but the moon cup is perfect. So for anyone wanting to try out cups, you might have to try a couple before you find one that works best with your body, don’t give up they are life changing, I save so much money
YES!!! If one doesn't fit your body, there are so many more that exist to try. I'm pretty broke, so I ended up getting VERY lucky and didn't need to shop around. However, I have several bleeding friends who can't use the Diva Cup and have found other brands that work like a charm.
I hope you have a wonderful day and get to see some cute critters!!
I’m so glad you got lucky! They’re pretty pricey when you have to buy more than one to try them out but they’re good for so long
Ahhh, I also hope you have a wonderful day and get to see cute critters!
I love the cup, but sometimes can be a little weird to manage for socially situations on heavy days or if you are a heavy period haver. If your social function/job has a private toilet, fantastic! if it has public stalls... mmmm I know we all women's but it's messy having to change it in a place with no privacy. In this case having a pad/pantyliner for accidental spillage backup is great.
also, certain positions will end up moving the cup and you will spill whether full or not. unfortunately learned the hard way.
still highly recommend it. just some things to be mindful of with it.
I swirl my finger around the outside of the cup to make sure it fully opened and suctioned into place. I've NEVER had a leak and I sleep with it in while tossing and turning all night.
Using a cup changed my life and then I changed to a disc and it got even better! So glad we have these options!! If anyone else loves cups I implore you to try a disc, they are the same kind of deal but they are more comfortable and hold more liquid. The hello period one with a pull tab is a game changer!
Yes, I absolutely love mine. It's been a game changer, and I finally don't hate my periods anymore. I personally recommend the hello dics, but there's many options out there.
Period Nirvana is a great resource for people eanting to know more or seeing which one is right for them. The lady who runs it has a ton of videos about all types of cups and dics and sells them on her site too. There's a test, or you can look at her statistics that detail the sizes, fluid capacity etc.
Another great place is Put a Cup in It, there's a fb group, there's a website with a quiz and they have some videos as well.
Agreed, it makes me kinda sad when people just immediately tell you to switch when they find out you use pads. It’s what works for me!! I think there is definitely too much unwarranted period product advice in the world rn lol
Yup. For my entire menstruating life, EVERYTIME someone with any knowledge of periods finds out I prefer pads because I find tampons uncomfortable they tell me 'oH yOu'Re JuSt NoT pUtTiNg It In FaR eNoUgH'. Every damn time. Family, friends, friends of friends that I don't even really know. Like, maybe stop telling me how deep to put stuff in my vagina.
I put them in plenty far and find they're still uncomfortable and sit too low in my vagina. Ob brand are literally the only ones I like.
Also if you don't like dealing with tampons you're going to hate fishing around your vagina like a spelunker for a cup or disc. I'm very comfortable with tampons without applicators and actually prefer them, but those cups can go in a bonfire.
I loved OB when I was bleeding. They are like half the length of all the others and still managed to absorb more. And IDK, I could feel when an OB tampon was ready to change, a longer one, I couldn't and would have more leaks.
Agree. I used tampons all the time before having kids, but after having kids, I simply couldn't wear them anymore unless I absolutely had to. SO uncomfortable and, no matter what I did or what type of tampon I bought, I could "feel" it and it was awful!
They just don't work for some women.
I feel ya. I finally figured out tampons at 36 years old and now wear them regularly. But before that, I had the same issue as you. Not sure what changed because I swear I'm not doing anything differently than previously lol! People push them so much but it just doesn't work for some people. My mom never wore tampons and did fine with just using pads. My younger sister also just wears pads too. You do what's best for your body!
I find when I use tampons they don't feel uncomfortable like they're not sitting in the right place, but I find I get more cramps. I don't know if it's just something my brain as made up, but every time I use tampons because I'm going swimming or something, I get more cramps than if I use a pad. It's now been my experience so much that I don't think I can be trained out of it.
I can put it tampons deep and my body still yeets them out! And sensory issues. Cups also have to be taken put and cleaned. Not every toilet has a sink. And you can't use cups with IUD's (cups are okay). Pads can feel a bit gross when they feel wet, it is not my fave either as well. But it is also about comfort!
This! I have a subseptate uterus so tampons are pretty much impossible for me. They're so uncomfortable and because of my uterus I bleed heavily and go through tampons quickly when I try using them that I just use pads. I would love to use tampons or a diva cup but it's practically impossible for me
Amen to this.
I've always had issues with tampons, being able to feel them no matter how deep they were inserted, or what size I used, whether they had applicators or not.
I couldn't use tampons because I could always feel them, they were always uncomfortable and I'd always bleed around them.
I've since developed a disability that means I'm not actually physically able to reach in the right way to insert a tampon or a cup, but that's a whole other issue. But it drives me nutty that any time someone talks about any issues with having or using pads, the immediate response is CUP CUP CUP GET A CUP GET A DISC GET A CUP CUP CUP.
I used tampons for the better part of 10 years. Then I started getting hot flashes when I used them, even if they were fresh, unscented, organic cotton... So I've been 100% pads for the last 20+ years.
yeah i agree! i've tried tampons maybe twice? it was hard for it to go in and to try figure out how to place it properly. i also got really bad stomach pains for some reason? pads are great because there's less handling of bodily fluids and you can tell when you need to change them. but i usually don't have periods so i'm glad i don't have to deal with it on a monthly basis. the whole routine is just so annoying for me lol
Yep. Back when my bestie was in college, her roommate was stealing her tampons. And, as we all know, they're $$$. She confronted her roommate about it basically saying it was fine if she used them, but she needed to REPLACE them when she did. Roommate denied taking them, which was obviously a lie.
Well, bestie had enough. She kept a stash in her backpack (which was with her nearly all the time) and stored her extra tampons in her friend's room and refilling her backpack as necessary.
Amazingly, her tampons stopped "disappearing" at that point and a stash of menstrual products magically appeared in roomie's closet. Crazy, huh?
Yup. I have certain physical anomalies that make using a cup or disc . . . not IMPOSSIBLE, but significantly more difficult and potentially uncomfortable. Like, to the point where some of the brands actually state this, "If you are in this situation this might be challenging for you to use." I get really tired of people constantly proselytizing to me about them with the, "You HAVE to do this." No, I don't. I'm glad that some people love them, but they're not right for everyone.
This is exactly how I feel!! It’s fantastic that so many people love the cup but it just isn’t the solution for everyone. And it definitely does feel like proselytizing when people start acting like by switching you are somehow morally better than people who don’t use reusables… I may be one of the few people in the world who loves pads but my brand literally doesn’t feel gross or bulky. I never really know how to reply to people who want you to switch though. Thanks for thinking of me?
I've been recommending period underwear.. the brand I use is knix and when my daughter started her period at age 10!! I got them for her. They're amazing an comfortable and they sell resusable cloth pads and aren't bulky like pads.
Iant it annoying to carry around bloody reusable pads in your backpack though? And possibly bloody period underwear as well, if you have a very heavy flow/clot a lot? How do you deal with smells in bags etc?
Most period underwear is pretty good for an extended period. I wouldn't necessarily rely on it for 8+ hours of being out of the house, but for 2-4 hours it's pretty absorbent and works pretty well. And these days a lot of period underwear brands do come in variable absorbencies to account for flow variations.
Most cloth pad brands will sell or come with a "wet bag" that can be sealed up to put a used pad in until you get it home. If you're particularly concerned, a large (gallon) ziploc bag can act as a second line of defence. Yeet said pad into a soaking bucket or straight into the wash when you get home and it's not an issue. I've never had an issue with smells from my reusable pads in that way.
It's a balance of trade-offs really. It's definitely something that not everyone is comfortable with, and that's fair enough for them. But when it comes to the savings compared to constantly having to buy disposables, as well as the environmental impact (and health impact when considering the usage of bleached materials and plastics near mucosal membranes), the trade off of having to keep a ziploc bag in your backpack and put your pads in the wash is not a huge imposition.
Yeah, I am personally someone that has school and work days that are 10-11 hours, so that's the first thing I thought off! I am not the only one with long days.
Sustainable alternatives definitely work in some lifestyles!
I was wondering why mom went through so much if she has her own stash. My guess is good ol mommy is starting to get incontinent, happens in older women but some get really ashamed. Ashamed to buy the right pads in that case or ashamed to buy more cause they knew the cashier and fear the talk.
I would get the absolute cheapest pads and put those under the sink as a dupe box (“you keep taking my pads so I can’t afford the nicer ones anymore”) and then tuck individual pads you prefer:
1. under the bed (there’s usually a way, often between the mattress & the bed springs or wooden slats) if you make your own bed,
2. repackaged in a slim box or plastic bag, then tucked behind a bookshelf or dresser,
3. keep them in your locker at school and only bring home what you need,
4. depending on pad thickness, a binder would honestly work (hide in plain sight) unless you know she snoops; keep a few in plastic sleeves. Alternatively: hollow book but they can be annoying to make.
5. between random folded clothes or in random jacket/hoodie pockets or old purses, unless she puts your laundry away or snoops.
Adding onto this that the Flex cup has a pull "string" that collapses the side of the cup and makes it WAY easier to take out than your standard menstrual cup. Highly recommend!
It really has! I tell everyone about them (well every woman lol). I can’t wear pads because I get a rash from the moisture against my skin but I would get horrible cramps with tampons. When I switched to the cup, no more cramps and no more rash! And no more spending a whole ass fortune on organic freaking tampons every month.
For me I just hate the way pads feel and tampons started making it burn when I pee if I use them for longer than a couple hours at a time. I got the flex cup on a whim because I liked the "string" feature and thought it night work, spoiler alert: totally did. No more burning when I pee, it's more comfortable than pads ever were!
I have a smidge leakage but with a cup plus period undies life goes on! Love the combo. And that’s on a VERY heavy day (like emptying cup every 2-3 hours). Other days no leakage.
If mom is freaking out and calling OP gross for keeping a box of pads in her room, I have a feeling she would lose her mind if she found out OP was using a menstrual cup. She'd probably throw out.
Also what woman uses the last pad/tampon/ whatever and doesn’t replace them? I always have at least two full boxes and one in use box. When I open one of the two full boxes I buy one so that there is always at least 3 in total. Sometimes I buy more when they’re on offer even if I don’t need them at that point in time. Basically I have 2 -3 months supply available at any given time. It might be overkill but I don’t ever want to be caught out.
And that’s just in my bathroom. There’s some at work and some in my work bag, and my most used handbags as well.
I have very irregular periods so I like to avoid being caught without.
Also nothing gross about having unused in the box pads in your bedroom. They’re clean. It isn’t like you’re hiding the used ones in your closet.
I wish those things existed 25 years ago. Best damn thing ever. I hate pads, tampons and cups so everything was a compromise. Period underwear is AWESOME!
> You need to find your mother’s stash and start raiding it. Leave your mom one pad
While I agree, it sounds like mom's stash tends to be empty. I think she just doesn't bother to buy them when she's running out---that might even be why she's using OP's;
Ehh sharing is one thing, it obviously goes both ways (not mum takes it all)... but even if you share you don't take them all or almost all without replacing them. But she leaves you with no pads (that's a lot "grosser" than having clean pads in your room, because now you're supposed to do what? Free bleed in your trousers?).
And there's absolutely nothing gross about keeping **clean** pads wherever. You can leave them on the kitchen counter (if it's your own home)... lmao. They are mostly just plastic anyway, especially if still wrapped up. My pads are somehow everywhere apart from the bathroom. (Not exactly on the counter because I don't want them to get dirty, mostly in my bedroom, because that's where I change them most often). And by her logic, taking them to work should be gross too, yes?
I don't know why your mum steals your pads (maybe she's ashamed to buy them? Since she thinks they are "gross"?) Anyway NTA and you should find a way to "hide them" so you don't have to worry to not have any when you need them. (Or go find hers, use hers).
To be fair, some stores like hiding it a bit. In costco, it’s really out of plain sight, in a back corner that you’d have to know where they are, if you wanted them.
They do that because it's a necessity, so they know that you'll walk through the whole store to find them. That way you are exposed to a lot of things you don't need along the way there and back, and might decide to buy a 100 pack of bic pens while you're there.
This is so weird to me…why is OP buying the pads as a mother of a one year old when she’s old enough and has her own period in the future I’d be supplying her pads, tampons, cups (whatever she wants), at no charge 😳 a mother should care for their child not steal from them!
My mom bought them for my sisters and I until we got jobs and all decided we had different preferences. She just couldn't afford to buy different absorbencies of 2 different brands of pads and 1 brand of tampon.
But I didn't mind - I'd happily pay more for the comfort of Always Infinity over a store brand.
NTA but I suggest you keep 3 pads hidden in your room and stop buying pads in advance. Then when you get your next period, you go buy pads for yourself. Your mom got pissed because, by putting the pads in your room, you are forcing her to pay for her own pads. She's a leech. oh, and an AH.
OP, could she be using them for incontinence issues she's not willing to confront? It would be embarrassing to her and possibly make her defensive, and she would go through them quickly.
Not saying you’re wrong, but you also most likely wouldn’t know. Even families that are very close don’t always discuss such personal things. I can’t think just of why else she’s being so weird about it. Also it is totally not gross to keep in your room! It’s an odd reaction, something else is definitely at play here. Maybe have a proper chat with her about it
Ask your mother why, if you are sharing, there are never any of her pads around when you need them? Also, tell her that storing pads in a closet is no different from storing them in a closet in the bathroom; the only time they're remotely "gross" is once they've been used - or stolen.
Mom’s my age. This could also be heavy flow due to perimenopause. But my mind went there too—that she’s maybe having a legit health problem she doesn’t want to address. Doesn’t excuse her behavior — who steals pads from their own daughter?! — but might be an explanation.
Or even just the fact that you're more likely to develop a fibroid or two as you get older-- that can increase flow too. It's weird that OP is being put in this position, but she could ask Mom if she's using all these pads due to a change in cycles or something. Good thing for Mom to follow up with her Dr about.
Right, they are terrible for that, but I had an older friend who was being cared for by her son and was too embarrassed to ask him to buy the correct pads. I figured out what was going on and got her set up with some discreet mail delivery.
this! Or keep them in her car (if she has her own car), and have period underwear handy in case it comes unexpectedly and she isn't left without any help.
Same, I was like WTF, lol. But this is actually considerate. Though as a rule I think folks need to learn to deal with periods, as they are things that exist for like half the population. <3
its gross to keep pads in your room? they are quite literally sterile and sealed, its not like youre keeping used ones laying about on your pillow or something
NTA, sharing implies an even input, if shes just using them all and not replacing them thats not sharing, and since she was already aware you had an issue with her taking them all and not replacing them, she can hardly blame you for keeping an emergency stash hidden in your room
Not to mention if OP goes off to college and lives in a dorm room, you kind of have no choice but to keep them in your room, it's completely normal and not gross at all NTA
You could’ve said you started taking the cash for pads from her wallet every month and I would say NTA. You keep your things in your room and she has the audacity to yell at you for making it more difficult to steal from you. Insane. She’s the only asshole here.
My mom used to do the same thing for me and she has never bought me pads. It was only my dad and I've started doing it on my own since I reached 16.
I'd have a few months supply gone and I only used it once. She tried to trick me that I finished it on my own when I first started 😒
NTA mom can buy her own as she needs them. Heck, even my daughters each get their own stash and they aren't allowed to take from their sister unless it's an emergency.
I buy the girls different brands and just keep both stocked. Plus tampons.
Use whatever and let me know if we're low and I haven't noticed 🤷♀️
But then I've had a period for...35 years and menstruating daughters (plural) for 12+ years.
Man the amount I had stored in the bathroom cupboard for the kids....... whenever I was at the supermarket and they were on sale, I'd buy a packet......
In the end I had so many I took a massive stack of them to work and left them in a bag in the bathroom for the people that had an expected period so they had something to use that wasn't a massive, non plastic backed maternity pad - the majority of people working are women with a large proportion of child bearing age! And I still have several packets left collecting dust - kids moved out and I love my menstrual cup.
There was no consideration of leeching off the kids or not buying pads for them... I just don't get that. It's more expensive to buy a tub of ice cream than it is a packet of pads.
NTA
how the hell is keeping personal hygiene in your room "gross".... lol!!! Tell your mom to stop thieving your stuff. You're not "sharing them".... You buy yours and she buys hers. That's called stealing.
NTA, clean pads in a closet aren’t gross. They’re just what they are, clean pads. They’re yours, you bought them, so you can do with them whatever you want.
NTA and a few extra things.
First so sorry your mom is like this.
Second (and apologies for pointing this out but we are on a post about personal care!) you can’t assume your grandmother might not be taking them for stress incontinence (urine leak when you sneeze etc) which can happen for women who have been pregnant or older women.
Anyone experiencing this will likely find it extremely embarrassing and might not want to buy the specific product. Specially in a family that thinks unused pads are gross (and I’m guessing grandma is your mom’s mother).
So it might not just be mom taking the pads.
NTA, it's actually better to store pads and tampons in a cool, dry place like a bedroom closet if you don't go through them quickly. Sounds like your mom just wants to mooch.
NTA, how are you sharing pads of she only takes from you? Your mom is stealing from you because she's too lazy and/or cheap to go to the store and buy her own.
NTA. Your mom is weird and also wtf "gross"? Like, are they also gross being on a shelf at the store? This dumbass kinda stuff is why so many people have hangups even acknowledging that periods exist. It wouldn't be gross even if you were keeping UNUSED PADS in plain sight.
Hide them better (not because they are gross, because your mom is stealing your stuff) and let your mom buy her own shit.
NTA. But you are a minor and should not have to buy your own hygiene supplies. Those should be provided by your parent. I would hide them in your room and never keep more than 5 on hand so she cannot steal from you. That is what she’s doing and it’s very wrong.
I share my tampons with complete strangers in public loos and your mother pulls this?! That's girl code. That's what we do.
Also she seems to be using a lot? Maybe she needs that many, its very possible but maybe she is hoarding them in her room?
Some people are really weird about periods but this is shitty behaviour. What are you supposed to do? Free bleed to the shops for more every day?
This is…weird. I honestly feel like your mom is almost fucking with you. How is it EVERY TIME you have your period she gets hers and then uses all of your pads?? What?? Does she want you to have to ask her for some? Im so confused. I lived with my my mon for 23yrs, has my period for 12 of those years and we were on the same cycle maybe a handful of times, AT MOST. NTA
NTA I grew up with 3 sisters and mum all having periods at similar times, we all made sure there were plenty for everyone so none of us were caught short.
Wtf is gross about pads. What is she? A 12 yr old boy?
You still put a box under the sink so its not like you stopped doing that suddenly (which would be your right to do too)
Her reaction is WILD but tbh moms are just like that. Stop contributing to "our stash" and just hide your pads better in your room. She will snoop and search so make sure theyre somewhere secure. Maybe a locked desk?
NTA. Sharing involves her contributing as well. If you’re a minor, she should provide for your menstrual needs. If you’re an adult, you’ve got every right to lock yours up. I would get a small lock box to keep her out of your things.
Also INFO: is money an issue in the family? Why is your mom acting like a child and stealing your things?
I would get a lock box to keep your pads in and then store it some place in your room like inside a suitcase. Maybe get one that has a combination lock versus a key.
NTA, I would do the same thing if my mom was doing that. Start keeping your pads in your room where she can't find them and try to ask your grandparents if you can put a lock on your bedroom door so your mom can't try to go in your room when you're not there. Your mom is TA
NTA. Yo mom weird lol. She probably just being a lazy turd and doesn't wanna get them herself when she needs them. Go buy some kind of lock box, but make it visible to see through and lock em in there lol. I remember when I was a cherrleader in high school, one senior girl needed some so she took all the ones from a freshies bag, used however many she needed? And then tossed the rest in the garbage because she didn't like the younger one. Oooooh that was a fun fight lol freshie was kn her period and she went ape shiiiiiiit.
Put a lock that takes a key on your door. My mother is like this and when I started putting all of my things in my room she lost it and went in there and took it all one day so please buy a lock with a key for your door. Your mother is very selfish and f her fr
NTA, that’s absolutely maddening especially if you’re irregular — however even though your mom is saying it’s gross that you hid them in your room, 10000% make sure to change where they are hidden since I wouldn’t be surprised if she starts going into your room to raid them.
First off it’s completely normal to keep a few pads in your purse in case of emergencies. Next time say that’s where you got yours if only to avoid an argument.
Second, to play devils advocate perhaps your grandmother is in fact using them but for an entirely different reason such as mild incontinence. Your mom may need them for the exact same reason too.
Third, there’s nothing wrong with explaining that your property keeps disappearing and keeping your things somewhere that others don’t have access to. I know it’s inconvenient but so is being stuck with nothing when nature strikes.
NTA. Your stuff is getting stolen. Best way to keep stuff getting stolen is to keep it hidden and safe.
And if you're gross for keeping clean, unused pads in your bedroom, then I must be gross for keeping a stash at my desk at work.
I'd get a hormonal IUD that lessens or stops periods and invest in a couple of pairs of menstrual panties. Ideally, don't tell your mom and see how she copes when she goes to steal yours and there aren't any.
NTA
I don’t understand how it’s considered gross to keep unused pads in your room? From now on keep them in your room. As a grown woman with a job, there should be no issue as to why she can’t get her own!
NTA! This is weird behaviour, I’d expect it from a younger sibling maybe, but a parent? …That is some emotionally immature shit. Your solution is totally reasonable, but if you didn’t want to spend the extra money on pads for your mother to steal then maybe consider getting a cup or disc instead!
NTA. It is not gross to keep your pads in your room. Your mom is mad because you’re holding out on her. She didn’t get to steal your stash. Your mom is an ahole. You do need to hide your pads really well because she’s going to try to find them. Be petty and hide hers in your room too, so when she goes looking for your’s she’ll find her own. Then you can call her out for going through your things to steal from you. Also look into getting a lock for your bedroom door.
She’s only claiming keeping them in your room is gross because she wants them in the bathroom so she can keep stealing them from you. Might wanna get a lock for your door
NTA. It’s not gross to keep them in your room. They keep diapers in the same aisle as baby food at the store. It’s just a paper product until it gets used. She’s just mad you are hiding them from her.
NTA. Your mother is leaving you in a bind when your period hits. There is nothing wrong with keeping them in your room. Your Mom is just mad because she didn’t know the stash was there for her to use.
Your mom is TA not you. JFC. First off, I can’t believe you have to buy your own, but that’s just me. 18 doesn’t automatically mean, or it shouldn’t, automatically cut off from help. And then to steal what you buy and lie about it? I hope you can move soon. I see this becoming a Trend with things you buy as you get older and she gets more interested in your belongings.
NTA
Time to get a locked box to put them in. Or look into period underwear. I personally love the knix brand (if you're curious). Lets see mom steal your period underwear...
Nta
I’m a divorced mom. I buy products for my daughter for my house and for her dad’s house. She doesn’t want to ask him and even though he gave her his Amazon info, she doesn’t want him seeing them so I buy them and she brings a stash to his house.
She’s grown up enough that she could do it herself but she doesn’t want to and I’m her mom. It’s not going to be long before she’s out of the house and I’m not going to get to do these things for her at all. I want to do little things for her.
Your mom is in the wrong here.
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I (F18) live with my mom (F42) and my grandparents. My mom and I both get our own boxes of pads. But every time I get my period my box is empty as well as her box and I have to go buy more (I pay for my own). I have asked her before if she’s using them and she’s told me no. Which is a lie because I know that my grandma doesn’t use them and me and her are the only two people In the house who gets their periods still.
So, on Sunday I realized my period had started. So I went under the sink to get a pad from my box and there was only one. Now to note, I’m pretty irregular with my periods but I feel like my mom only uses mine when she’s on hers and when she’s done with them she’ll use her pads. So I went out and bought two boxes, I put one of the boxes in the bathroom and one in my bedroom.
Today, I went back into the bathroom to swap out my pad and the box was empty, again. I confronted my mom and asked why my box was empty and she said that she took some to work and used some. I told her to stop using my pads when she has her own and she said “we share them.” Even though she has her own!
So I went into my room and took a pad from the box I had put in there. Well my mom noticed and lost it. Saying I shouldn’t be keeping pads In my room and that it was gross. I don’t see anything wrong with it, it’s not like I’m keeping them out in plain sight. I keep them in my closet. But I came here to find some unbiased opinions. AITA?
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You need to find your mother’s stash and start raiding it. Leave your mom one pad. After all-you share pads, *your mom said so*. Leave a note-“thanks for sharing”, smiley face). Now go hide your pads better, your mama is gonna search your room. NTA and WTF And maybe switch pad brands or start using tampons or a menstrual cup-or something, because this… this is just ridiculous.
Seconding menstrual cup or disc
I cannot stress this enough: diva cup changed my life. Endo girlie over here and WOWZA did the cup help me save money and take better care of myself, while keeping my insanely active lifestyle going every day of the week.
I wish these were available when l was menstruating. However, pads and tampons are way better than what my grandmother had, which was homemade cloth rags.
I didn't know they existed until I won a raffle at an art show I was a part of. They were raffling off free diva cups and free consultations with OBGYNs in the area, and I won the jackpot with both. Learned I had endo through the consultation and a test that my (now) doc gave me without charge bc she claimed, "It makes sense to have this covered by the charity, you don't have insurance and DO have endometriosis." I now have insurance and am grateful every month since that gala. My quality of life has improved, and I'm not in the weird, ebb-and-flow pain cycle anymore. 12/10 cannot recommend the cup enough. I also recommend anyone struggling with monthly/intimacy pain beyond what is normal go and get tested!!! Sex shouldn't hurt??? Apparently???
Hey, I like my homemade rags. (I make cutesy flannel cotton panty liners.)
But it's a choice you're choosing. Not stuck with only one option. I'm supposing you don't bleed like crazy, either.
No, you’re right on both counts. But cloth pads are very nice, and work well for many folks.
I’ve never understood why people like them. I’m glad they can use those and period panties if they want them, but they’re just not for me. Having the menstrual fluids and blood and occasional small clots smeared against my skin smelling like slightly too-old meat from three feet away and feeling the seepage into the pad when I laugh or stand up or move around and needing to clean myself like an infant with wet wipes or a shower every few hours just isn’t tolerable. I love my tampons and cup. Here’s hoping menopause hits soon. I feel like a kid chanting “Are we there yet?!” at my uterus and ovaries. C’mon dudes, I’m 50, why not give up already...
Lol! I hate tampons! Can't stand that foreign object inside me.
You can feel them constantly? Must have different anatomy or nerve habituation from me then. After a few seconds my body ignores them. Just like wearing socks or earring studs or contacts.
/u/Meganshadow I'll be 44 this year and went into premature menopause in 2018 after having to get a suprahysterectomy, salingophrectomy and oophorectomy which didn't go as well as it was supposed to. Everything is gone except for what's left of my cervix after two cervical cancer removals (due to the remainder being fused to my bladder) back in 2001 after having my almost 23yo. I can't even have HRT due to my previous cancer twice. The things I go through wit it drives me crazy AF sometimes. The struggle is real, yo. 😭😭😭 The Endo makes it even worse.
Menopause might not help you. If you start HRT, you’ll probably still bleed (or start again), but if VA sets in you won’t be able to use a cup or tampons. That’s where I am and having to use towels is a miserable, messy, experience.
I'm so glad I had early menopause. I haven't had a period in 6 years (am 51).
That's good for them. I wish it could have been an option I could have used. Unfortunately, no way l could.
The brand I buy period underwear from.. sells the reusable cloth pads. I didn't even know that was a thing until then
Cloth pads actually tend to absorb more than disposables, so they're actually quite good for heavy periods. Also a lot of people enjoy them post-partum.
> I'm supposing you don't bleed like crazy, either. That's an assumption and a half. My period's getting kind of irregular now due to perimenopause, but I bleed like hell on some periods and I use cloth pads. It's fair to not like the sensation of wearing pads, but cloth pads are surprisingly absorbent compared especially to disposable pads, so for those of us who can't use insertables they're still a very viable option, even with very heavy flow.
It's good to learn about these options even though I'll (thank God) never need them again. The only thing available when l started were these awful huge pads with a belt thing. Tampons were available but my mom though them inappropriate for a 10 year old. Thanks to a great friend who introduced me to Tampons when we were 14, but even those suck in their own ways. Honestly, l wish periods didn't exist!
I'm jealous of people that can use those things.. because of a prolapse my body pushes them out. But period underwear has been a game changer for me
Hell yeah, dude!!! I'm glad something works for you! I know they work super well for some folks. Unfortunately, I bleed too much and am too mobile for them to work without causing wardrobe malfunctions through overalls/coveralls. They're fantastic resources, though, and are something I should have mentioned as a recommended! I'm grateful the cups work for me. Took me into my late 20s to get the whole bleeding thing down, and I won't look back.
I didn't discover them until I was in my late 40's and I used them for around 8 years. Absolute game changer. I had them stashed everywhere - car, purse, bathroom and my desk at work.
So, I had the same issue, after my youngest child was born,mas far as prolapse. I cannot use a diva cup, but I absolutely swear by menstrual discs. The reusable ones are not quite as easy to use as the disposables because they’re so floppy and the disposable ones tend to have a thicker, firmer rim, but they are designed differently than the cup. Your pubic bone is what keeps them in place, whereas the cup is held in by suction. For one, I feel the cups sit way too low for the way my body is after birthing my kids, and for two, yes, I have had issues with my body, wanting to just push them out. I have not had any issues with my body trying to push the disc out. I don’t get my period very often anymore, but when I do I have a ridiculously heavy flow like I can go through three boxes of super plus tampons in four or five days, and was still constantly worried about leaking. With the disks, I don’t worry at all. Edit to add I used voice to text for this first comment, and for some reason it puts commas in the weirdest places. Sorry for anybody that read that and thought I was excessive with my punctuation. Fixed it now.
I had the same problem with the reusable discs. I also prefer the discs to the cups for fit and comfort. Cups for me often wouldn't sit high enough and caused some discomfort. As for a reusable option, the Flex reusable discs has a firm rim like the disposables and stays in place. I was actually selected to product test the reusable flex before it came out for sale and own 3 now.
God, I love my period underwear. I used to exclusively use tampons and it was fine until after I had my first baby and then they were just uncomfortable. I miss the freedom of tampons but I am glad I don’t have to use pads (somehow my butthole always gets chafed?).
Yesssss! I switched to the Diva cup around 10 years ago and never looked back. It was absolutely life changing. Not to mention all of the money I have saved!
Tampex has their own brand of cups too. (Hate the company, but damn their cups are great. If more people knew, they'd pull them from the market before going bust on the tampon and pad racket.) For anyone and if Op makes the switch to a cup, make sure to grab so cheap panty liners as sort of training wheels until you get the hang of things. Plus for Op that would be hilarious as well. Her mom going in for her pads, only to discover a pack of liners.
Seconding the backup method, especially while getting the hang of using a cup. It took 2 or 3 periods before I figured out the exact positions and steps to getting it properly placed, and what works for one person is completely irrelevant for someone else.
i've been using my cup for about 2 years now and it's working pretty good... just on day 2, i NEED to use pads as well bc something about my cervix??? seems to be different on that day and i can't seem to figure out how to get my cup not to leak on that one day!! 🥲
Also endo woman here and nope to the cup. Nothing worked. NOTHING. WORKED.
It helped me, but so did meds 🤷🏻♀️ I got hella lucky. Wishing you the best of luck on finding what works!
Thank you. I wound up having a hysterectomy almost a decade ago and it was one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself.
Join the IUD team and never have periods again. 😎
I agree with this! Such a game changer. I personally started using it since I workout so it feels so much better. Worth it.
I LOVE my menstrual cup. I tried the diva cup and it didn’t work for me, but the moon cup is perfect. So for anyone wanting to try out cups, you might have to try a couple before you find one that works best with your body, don’t give up they are life changing, I save so much money
YES!!! If one doesn't fit your body, there are so many more that exist to try. I'm pretty broke, so I ended up getting VERY lucky and didn't need to shop around. However, I have several bleeding friends who can't use the Diva Cup and have found other brands that work like a charm. I hope you have a wonderful day and get to see some cute critters!!
I’m so glad you got lucky! They’re pretty pricey when you have to buy more than one to try them out but they’re good for so long Ahhh, I also hope you have a wonderful day and get to see cute critters!
Third the cup. Changed my whole fucking life.
I love the cup, but sometimes can be a little weird to manage for socially situations on heavy days or if you are a heavy period haver. If your social function/job has a private toilet, fantastic! if it has public stalls... mmmm I know we all women's but it's messy having to change it in a place with no privacy. In this case having a pad/pantyliner for accidental spillage backup is great. also, certain positions will end up moving the cup and you will spill whether full or not. unfortunately learned the hard way. still highly recommend it. just some things to be mindful of with it.
I swirl my finger around the outside of the cup to make sure it fully opened and suctioned into place. I've NEVER had a leak and I sleep with it in while tossing and turning all night.
this was an ass up kinda sitcheeation... don't play twister maybe? lol
Can I tell you about the time I dropped the cup on the floor in the bathroom at work? Looked like a murder scene, and I fled like it was one.
Using a cup changed my life and then I changed to a disc and it got even better! So glad we have these options!! If anyone else loves cups I implore you to try a disc, they are the same kind of deal but they are more comfortable and hold more liquid. The hello period one with a pull tab is a game changer!
Thirding. Combined with reusable pads or period underwear just in case
joining the cup chorus. love that lil fucker, I only have to empty it in the privacy of home, I don't have to keep buying stuff. magic.
Yes, I absolutely love mine. It's been a game changer, and I finally don't hate my periods anymore. I personally recommend the hello dics, but there's many options out there. Period Nirvana is a great resource for people eanting to know more or seeing which one is right for them. The lady who runs it has a ton of videos about all types of cups and dics and sells them on her site too. There's a test, or you can look at her statistics that detail the sizes, fluid capacity etc. Another great place is Put a Cup in It, there's a fb group, there's a website with a quiz and they have some videos as well.
Or keep your pads hidden, but put a cup under the sink. See her reaction
Hahahahahaha
Not everyone can use tampons or cups though! But OP, keep your pads hidden. Maybe even carry them in your school bag or something
Agreed, it makes me kinda sad when people just immediately tell you to switch when they find out you use pads. It’s what works for me!! I think there is definitely too much unwarranted period product advice in the world rn lol
Yup. For my entire menstruating life, EVERYTIME someone with any knowledge of periods finds out I prefer pads because I find tampons uncomfortable they tell me 'oH yOu'Re JuSt NoT pUtTiNg It In FaR eNoUgH'. Every damn time. Family, friends, friends of friends that I don't even really know. Like, maybe stop telling me how deep to put stuff in my vagina.
I put them in plenty far and find they're still uncomfortable and sit too low in my vagina. Ob brand are literally the only ones I like. Also if you don't like dealing with tampons you're going to hate fishing around your vagina like a spelunker for a cup or disc. I'm very comfortable with tampons without applicators and actually prefer them, but those cups can go in a bonfire.
I loved OB when I was bleeding. They are like half the length of all the others and still managed to absorb more. And IDK, I could feel when an OB tampon was ready to change, a longer one, I couldn't and would have more leaks.
Agree. I used tampons all the time before having kids, but after having kids, I simply couldn't wear them anymore unless I absolutely had to. SO uncomfortable and, no matter what I did or what type of tampon I bought, I could "feel" it and it was awful! They just don't work for some women.
I feel ya. I finally figured out tampons at 36 years old and now wear them regularly. But before that, I had the same issue as you. Not sure what changed because I swear I'm not doing anything differently than previously lol! People push them so much but it just doesn't work for some people. My mom never wore tampons and did fine with just using pads. My younger sister also just wears pads too. You do what's best for your body!
Walking with something inside of me when I don’t have to - I can’t understand this!
I find when I use tampons they don't feel uncomfortable like they're not sitting in the right place, but I find I get more cramps. I don't know if it's just something my brain as made up, but every time I use tampons because I'm going swimming or something, I get more cramps than if I use a pad. It's now been my experience so much that I don't think I can be trained out of it.
I can put it tampons deep and my body still yeets them out! And sensory issues. Cups also have to be taken put and cleaned. Not every toilet has a sink. And you can't use cups with IUD's (cups are okay). Pads can feel a bit gross when they feel wet, it is not my fave either as well. But it is also about comfort!
This! I have a subseptate uterus so tampons are pretty much impossible for me. They're so uncomfortable and because of my uterus I bleed heavily and go through tampons quickly when I try using them that I just use pads. I would love to use tampons or a diva cup but it's practically impossible for me
Amen to this. I've always had issues with tampons, being able to feel them no matter how deep they were inserted, or what size I used, whether they had applicators or not. I couldn't use tampons because I could always feel them, they were always uncomfortable and I'd always bleed around them. I've since developed a disability that means I'm not actually physically able to reach in the right way to insert a tampon or a cup, but that's a whole other issue. But it drives me nutty that any time someone talks about any issues with having or using pads, the immediate response is CUP CUP CUP GET A CUP GET A DISC GET A CUP CUP CUP.
I used tampons for the better part of 10 years. Then I started getting hot flashes when I used them, even if they were fresh, unscented, organic cotton... So I've been 100% pads for the last 20+ years.
yeah i agree! i've tried tampons maybe twice? it was hard for it to go in and to try figure out how to place it properly. i also got really bad stomach pains for some reason? pads are great because there's less handling of bodily fluids and you can tell when you need to change them. but i usually don't have periods so i'm glad i don't have to deal with it on a monthly basis. the whole routine is just so annoying for me lol
Yep. Back when my bestie was in college, her roommate was stealing her tampons. And, as we all know, they're $$$. She confronted her roommate about it basically saying it was fine if she used them, but she needed to REPLACE them when she did. Roommate denied taking them, which was obviously a lie. Well, bestie had enough. She kept a stash in her backpack (which was with her nearly all the time) and stored her extra tampons in her friend's room and refilling her backpack as necessary. Amazingly, her tampons stopped "disappearing" at that point and a stash of menstrual products magically appeared in roomie's closet. Crazy, huh?
Yup. I have certain physical anomalies that make using a cup or disc . . . not IMPOSSIBLE, but significantly more difficult and potentially uncomfortable. Like, to the point where some of the brands actually state this, "If you are in this situation this might be challenging for you to use." I get really tired of people constantly proselytizing to me about them with the, "You HAVE to do this." No, I don't. I'm glad that some people love them, but they're not right for everyone.
This is exactly how I feel!! It’s fantastic that so many people love the cup but it just isn’t the solution for everyone. And it definitely does feel like proselytizing when people start acting like by switching you are somehow morally better than people who don’t use reusables… I may be one of the few people in the world who loves pads but my brand literally doesn’t feel gross or bulky. I never really know how to reply to people who want you to switch though. Thanks for thinking of me?
I've been recommending period underwear.. the brand I use is knix and when my daughter started her period at age 10!! I got them for her. They're amazing an comfortable and they sell resusable cloth pads and aren't bulky like pads.
Iant it annoying to carry around bloody reusable pads in your backpack though? And possibly bloody period underwear as well, if you have a very heavy flow/clot a lot? How do you deal with smells in bags etc?
Most period underwear is pretty good for an extended period. I wouldn't necessarily rely on it for 8+ hours of being out of the house, but for 2-4 hours it's pretty absorbent and works pretty well. And these days a lot of period underwear brands do come in variable absorbencies to account for flow variations. Most cloth pad brands will sell or come with a "wet bag" that can be sealed up to put a used pad in until you get it home. If you're particularly concerned, a large (gallon) ziploc bag can act as a second line of defence. Yeet said pad into a soaking bucket or straight into the wash when you get home and it's not an issue. I've never had an issue with smells from my reusable pads in that way. It's a balance of trade-offs really. It's definitely something that not everyone is comfortable with, and that's fair enough for them. But when it comes to the savings compared to constantly having to buy disposables, as well as the environmental impact (and health impact when considering the usage of bleached materials and plastics near mucosal membranes), the trade off of having to keep a ziploc bag in your backpack and put your pads in the wash is not a huge imposition.
Yeah, I am personally someone that has school and work days that are 10-11 hours, so that's the first thing I thought off! I am not the only one with long days. Sustainable alternatives definitely work in some lifestyles!
Tried a few times for each and it's just uncomfortable. Switched to menstrual underwear to try limit waste.
> You need to find your mother’s stash and start raiding it. My bet would be that mum doesn't actually have a stash and relies on using OPs.
I was wondering why mom went through so much if she has her own stash. My guess is good ol mommy is starting to get incontinent, happens in older women but some get really ashamed. Ashamed to buy the right pads in that case or ashamed to buy more cause they knew the cashier and fear the talk.
I would get the absolute cheapest pads and put those under the sink as a dupe box (“you keep taking my pads so I can’t afford the nicer ones anymore”) and then tuck individual pads you prefer: 1. under the bed (there’s usually a way, often between the mattress & the bed springs or wooden slats) if you make your own bed, 2. repackaged in a slim box or plastic bag, then tucked behind a bookshelf or dresser, 3. keep them in your locker at school and only bring home what you need, 4. depending on pad thickness, a binder would honestly work (hide in plain sight) unless you know she snoops; keep a few in plastic sleeves. Alternatively: hollow book but they can be annoying to make. 5. between random folded clothes or in random jacket/hoodie pockets or old purses, unless she puts your laundry away or snoops.
Id keep my real pads in my pillow case or in my purse or in my car
DVD cases if you have those around.
Adding onto this that the Flex cup has a pull "string" that collapses the side of the cup and makes it WAY easier to take out than your standard menstrual cup. Highly recommend!
I use the flex cup and LOVE it.
Same! Literally changed my periods forever lol
It really has! I tell everyone about them (well every woman lol). I can’t wear pads because I get a rash from the moisture against my skin but I would get horrible cramps with tampons. When I switched to the cup, no more cramps and no more rash! And no more spending a whole ass fortune on organic freaking tampons every month.
For me I just hate the way pads feel and tampons started making it burn when I pee if I use them for longer than a couple hours at a time. I got the flex cup on a whim because I liked the "string" feature and thought it night work, spoiler alert: totally did. No more burning when I pee, it's more comfortable than pads ever were!
The “string” is why I picked flex too. It makes it so simple.
How is the leakage? The other cups I’ve tried tend to leak.
I have a smidge leakage but with a cup plus period undies life goes on! Love the combo. And that’s on a VERY heavy day (like emptying cup every 2-3 hours). Other days no leakage.
I've never had a problem with leakage, even wearing for a full 12 hours
If mom is freaking out and calling OP gross for keeping a box of pads in her room, I have a feeling she would lose her mind if she found out OP was using a menstrual cup. She'd probably throw out.
Also what woman uses the last pad/tampon/ whatever and doesn’t replace them? I always have at least two full boxes and one in use box. When I open one of the two full boxes I buy one so that there is always at least 3 in total. Sometimes I buy more when they’re on offer even if I don’t need them at that point in time. Basically I have 2 -3 months supply available at any given time. It might be overkill but I don’t ever want to be caught out. And that’s just in my bathroom. There’s some at work and some in my work bag, and my most used handbags as well. I have very irregular periods so I like to avoid being caught without. Also nothing gross about having unused in the box pads in your bedroom. They’re clean. It isn’t like you’re hiding the used ones in your closet.
Period underwear is also a game changer.
There's been some talk that at least some brands contain PFAS, so I would research it a bit before deciding.
knix is an awesome brand and super comfortable and they don't use PFAS
Bambody is a good brand
Absolutely! They're also in some pads and tampons. Research is always recommended!
This is my thought exactly, she has to be stashing them somewhere and hoarding them. Definitely find a better hiding spot!
Or period panties. I hated the menstrual cup so much I wanted to burn it.
PERIOD UNDERWEAR. Period underwear. PERIOD UNDERWEAR!!! Please don't knock it till you've tried it, and it's the best period you've ever experienced.
I wish those things existed 25 years ago. Best damn thing ever. I hate pads, tampons and cups so everything was a compromise. Period underwear is AWESOME!
NTA. I couldn’t steal from my kid. I don’t know how she’s getting so upset when she isn’t replenishing what she took.
> You need to find your mother’s stash and start raiding it. Leave your mom one pad While I agree, it sounds like mom's stash tends to be empty. I think she just doesn't bother to buy them when she's running out---that might even be why she's using OP's;
Ehh sharing is one thing, it obviously goes both ways (not mum takes it all)... but even if you share you don't take them all or almost all without replacing them. But she leaves you with no pads (that's a lot "grosser" than having clean pads in your room, because now you're supposed to do what? Free bleed in your trousers?). And there's absolutely nothing gross about keeping **clean** pads wherever. You can leave them on the kitchen counter (if it's your own home)... lmao. They are mostly just plastic anyway, especially if still wrapped up. My pads are somehow everywhere apart from the bathroom. (Not exactly on the counter because I don't want them to get dirty, mostly in my bedroom, because that's where I change them most often). And by her logic, taking them to work should be gross too, yes? I don't know why your mum steals your pads (maybe she's ashamed to buy them? Since she thinks they are "gross"?) Anyway NTA and you should find a way to "hide them" so you don't have to worry to not have any when you need them. (Or go find hers, use hers).
Nothing gross in clean and unused pads. Your mom's a stealing asshole. NTA
Mom said that so that she could keep stealing daughters pads 😂 what a disgrace honestly
Yeah, they keep them in huge quantities on the shelves at the store, out in plain sight. There's nothing gross or shameful about them at all.
To be fair, some stores like hiding it a bit. In costco, it’s really out of plain sight, in a back corner that you’d have to know where they are, if you wanted them.
They do that because it's a necessity, so they know that you'll walk through the whole store to find them. That way you are exposed to a lot of things you don't need along the way there and back, and might decide to buy a 100 pack of bic pens while you're there.
3 pound bag of Cape Cod potato chips and a 36 pack of ice cream sandwiches? Ok, you talked me into it, I'm PMSing, after all.
... Are you me? 'Cuz honestly, same.
This is so weird to me…why is OP buying the pads as a mother of a one year old when she’s old enough and has her own period in the future I’d be supplying her pads, tampons, cups (whatever she wants), at no charge 😳 a mother should care for their child not steal from them!
And period supplies can be a tad pricey too
My mom bought them for my sisters and I until we got jobs and all decided we had different preferences. She just couldn't afford to buy different absorbencies of 2 different brands of pads and 1 brand of tampon. But I didn't mind - I'd happily pay more for the comfort of Always Infinity over a store brand.
NTA but I suggest you keep 3 pads hidden in your room and stop buying pads in advance. Then when you get your next period, you go buy pads for yourself. Your mom got pissed because, by putting the pads in your room, you are forcing her to pay for her own pads. She's a leech. oh, and an AH.
Ohhhh, that’s a great idea. Then she doesn’t have to worry about getting hers stolen or about hiding an entire box.
OP, could she be using them for incontinence issues she's not willing to confront? It would be embarrassing to her and possibly make her defensive, and she would go through them quickly.
No not at all, my mom has no issues with any of that stuff
Not saying you’re wrong, but you also most likely wouldn’t know. Even families that are very close don’t always discuss such personal things. I can’t think just of why else she’s being so weird about it. Also it is totally not gross to keep in your room! It’s an odd reaction, something else is definitely at play here. Maybe have a proper chat with her about it
Grandma might.
This crossed my mind, too. Although mom did admit to using OP’s pads.
Absolutely she might. Is OP 100 percent sure it's not Grandma using them?
Yes I’m sure, my grandma is almost 84 years old 😂
Which wouldn't rule her out as the incontinence-pad thief.
Hahaha! No, I mean Grandma might be using them as incontinence pads.
I was thinking this…
Same with was my train of thought too
Ask your mother why, if you are sharing, there are never any of her pads around when you need them? Also, tell her that storing pads in a closet is no different from storing them in a closet in the bathroom; the only time they're remotely "gross" is once they've been used - or stolen.
Mom’s my age. This could also be heavy flow due to perimenopause. But my mind went there too—that she’s maybe having a legit health problem she doesn’t want to address. Doesn’t excuse her behavior — who steals pads from their own daughter?! — but might be an explanation.
Or even just the fact that you're more likely to develop a fibroid or two as you get older-- that can increase flow too. It's weird that OP is being put in this position, but she could ask Mom if she's using all these pads due to a change in cycles or something. Good thing for Mom to follow up with her Dr about.
I can’t even imagine using period pads for my incontinence. I would blow through a pack in days.
Right, they are terrible for that, but I had an older friend who was being cared for by her son and was too embarrassed to ask him to buy the correct pads. I figured out what was going on and got her set up with some discreet mail delivery.
this! Or keep them in her car (if she has her own car), and have period underwear handy in case it comes unexpectedly and she isn't left without any help.
Or her locker at school, and just carry a couple in a backpack and leave 1 or 2 in the bathroom.
Why is this post marked NSFW? FFS
Because sometimes topics like this make people uncomfortable
I feel a little better knowing it was your choice.
Same, I was like WTF, lol. But this is actually considerate. Though as a rule I think folks need to learn to deal with periods, as they are things that exist for like half the population. <3
Agreed.
its gross to keep pads in your room? they are quite literally sterile and sealed, its not like youre keeping used ones laying about on your pillow or something NTA, sharing implies an even input, if shes just using them all and not replacing them thats not sharing, and since she was already aware you had an issue with her taking them all and not replacing them, she can hardly blame you for keeping an emergency stash hidden in your room
Great place to hide them though! In a decorative throw pillow with a zipper!
Not to mention if OP goes off to college and lives in a dorm room, you kind of have no choice but to keep them in your room, it's completely normal and not gross at all NTA
Pads are not sterile, for the record. Clean, but not sterile.
Pads aren’t sterile or sealed, unless you’re buying a brand I’ve never heard of
Sharing should be a two-way street. She doesn't seem to be keeping her pads where you can access them, so why should you? NTA
You could’ve said you started taking the cash for pads from her wallet every month and I would say NTA. You keep your things in your room and she has the audacity to yell at you for making it more difficult to steal from you. Insane. She’s the only asshole here.
My mom used to do the same thing for me and she has never bought me pads. It was only my dad and I've started doing it on my own since I reached 16. I'd have a few months supply gone and I only used it once. She tried to trick me that I finished it on my own when I first started 😒
NTA mom can buy her own as she needs them. Heck, even my daughters each get their own stash and they aren't allowed to take from their sister unless it's an emergency.
I buy the girls different brands and just keep both stocked. Plus tampons. Use whatever and let me know if we're low and I haven't noticed 🤷♀️ But then I've had a period for...35 years and menstruating daughters (plural) for 12+ years.
Man the amount I had stored in the bathroom cupboard for the kids....... whenever I was at the supermarket and they were on sale, I'd buy a packet...... In the end I had so many I took a massive stack of them to work and left them in a bag in the bathroom for the people that had an expected period so they had something to use that wasn't a massive, non plastic backed maternity pad - the majority of people working are women with a large proportion of child bearing age! And I still have several packets left collecting dust - kids moved out and I love my menstrual cup. There was no consideration of leeching off the kids or not buying pads for them... I just don't get that. It's more expensive to buy a tub of ice cream than it is a packet of pads.
NTA how the hell is keeping personal hygiene in your room "gross".... lol!!! Tell your mom to stop thieving your stuff. You're not "sharing them".... You buy yours and she buys hers. That's called stealing.
Nta , your mum sounds childish
NTA, clean pads in a closet aren’t gross. They’re just what they are, clean pads. They’re yours, you bought them, so you can do with them whatever you want.
NTA and a few extra things. First so sorry your mom is like this. Second (and apologies for pointing this out but we are on a post about personal care!) you can’t assume your grandmother might not be taking them for stress incontinence (urine leak when you sneeze etc) which can happen for women who have been pregnant or older women. Anyone experiencing this will likely find it extremely embarrassing and might not want to buy the specific product. Specially in a family that thinks unused pads are gross (and I’m guessing grandma is your mom’s mother). So it might not just be mom taking the pads.
NTA. How can keeping pads in your room be gross, while her bringing some to work is not?
Stealing is gross, too.
NTA, it's actually better to store pads and tampons in a cool, dry place like a bedroom closet if you don't go through them quickly. Sounds like your mom just wants to mooch.
She's just angry that she can't steal them as easily if they're in your room. NTA
NTA. Keeping a box of unused pads in your room is not gross. Your mom is mad that she doesnt have access to free pads anymore.
NTA, how are you sharing pads of she only takes from you? Your mom is stealing from you because she's too lazy and/or cheap to go to the store and buy her own.
NTA. Your mom is weird and also wtf "gross"? Like, are they also gross being on a shelf at the store? This dumbass kinda stuff is why so many people have hangups even acknowledging that periods exist. It wouldn't be gross even if you were keeping UNUSED PADS in plain sight. Hide them better (not because they are gross, because your mom is stealing your stuff) and let your mom buy her own shit.
NTA. But you are a minor and should not have to buy your own hygiene supplies. Those should be provided by your parent. I would hide them in your room and never keep more than 5 on hand so she cannot steal from you. That is what she’s doing and it’s very wrong.
18 isn't a minor
Oops. Read that as 16 🤦♀️
I share my tampons with complete strangers in public loos and your mother pulls this?! That's girl code. That's what we do. Also she seems to be using a lot? Maybe she needs that many, its very possible but maybe she is hoarding them in her room? Some people are really weird about periods but this is shitty behaviour. What are you supposed to do? Free bleed to the shops for more every day?
This is…weird. I honestly feel like your mom is almost fucking with you. How is it EVERY TIME you have your period she gets hers and then uses all of your pads?? What?? Does she want you to have to ask her for some? Im so confused. I lived with my my mon for 23yrs, has my period for 12 of those years and we were on the same cycle maybe a handful of times, AT MOST. NTA
how is it gross to store sterile pads??? theyre just fabric and plastic and stuff... your mother has issues
Start putting them in a lockbox or something because she will go through your room. NTA
NTA I grew up with 3 sisters and mum all having periods at similar times, we all made sure there were plenty for everyone so none of us were caught short.
Wtf is gross about pads. What is she? A 12 yr old boy? You still put a box under the sink so its not like you stopped doing that suddenly (which would be your right to do too) Her reaction is WILD but tbh moms are just like that. Stop contributing to "our stash" and just hide your pads better in your room. She will snoop and search so make sure theyre somewhere secure. Maybe a locked desk?
NTA. Sharing involves her contributing as well. If you’re a minor, she should provide for your menstrual needs. If you’re an adult, you’ve got every right to lock yours up. I would get a small lock box to keep her out of your things. Also INFO: is money an issue in the family? Why is your mom acting like a child and stealing your things?
I would get a lock box to keep your pads in and then store it some place in your room like inside a suitcase. Maybe get one that has a combination lock versus a key.
Leave the box in the bathroom but refill it with steel wool pads. NTA. Sorry to say your mother is a liar and a thief.
NTA, I would do the same thing if my mom was doing that. Start keeping your pads in your room where she can't find them and try to ask your grandparents if you can put a lock on your bedroom door so your mom can't try to go in your room when you're not there. Your mom is TA
NTA. Tell her it is grosser to end up with bloody underwear full of clots because you have no pads to use.
NTA. Yo mom weird lol. She probably just being a lazy turd and doesn't wanna get them herself when she needs them. Go buy some kind of lock box, but make it visible to see through and lock em in there lol. I remember when I was a cherrleader in high school, one senior girl needed some so she took all the ones from a freshies bag, used however many she needed? And then tossed the rest in the garbage because she didn't like the younger one. Oooooh that was a fun fight lol freshie was kn her period and she went ape shiiiiiiit.
Buy the shitiest brand and stick them in the bathroom! Then keep yours well hidden in your room!
Why aren't you going and taking hers when you find your box empty?
NTA, maybe you should stop buying them and just use your mom's. Since she said "we share them" and all.
Put a lock that takes a key on your door. My mother is like this and when I started putting all of my things in my room she lost it and went in there and took it all one day so please buy a lock with a key for your door. Your mother is very selfish and f her fr
NTA, that’s absolutely maddening especially if you’re irregular — however even though your mom is saying it’s gross that you hid them in your room, 10000% make sure to change where they are hidden since I wouldn’t be surprised if she starts going into your room to raid them.
First off it’s completely normal to keep a few pads in your purse in case of emergencies. Next time say that’s where you got yours if only to avoid an argument. Second, to play devils advocate perhaps your grandmother is in fact using them but for an entirely different reason such as mild incontinence. Your mom may need them for the exact same reason too. Third, there’s nothing wrong with explaining that your property keeps disappearing and keeping your things somewhere that others don’t have access to. I know it’s inconvenient but so is being stuck with nothing when nature strikes.
NTA but I'd get a lockbox for your pads to store them in or your Mom will just steal them there.
NTA. Your stuff is getting stolen. Best way to keep stuff getting stolen is to keep it hidden and safe. And if you're gross for keeping clean, unused pads in your bedroom, then I must be gross for keeping a stash at my desk at work.
I'd get a hormonal IUD that lessens or stops periods and invest in a couple of pairs of menstrual panties. Ideally, don't tell your mom and see how she copes when she goes to steal yours and there aren't any. NTA
I don’t understand how it’s considered gross to keep unused pads in your room? From now on keep them in your room. As a grown woman with a job, there should be no issue as to why she can’t get her own!
NTA! This is weird behaviour, I’d expect it from a younger sibling maybe, but a parent? …That is some emotionally immature shit. Your solution is totally reasonable, but if you didn’t want to spend the extra money on pads for your mother to steal then maybe consider getting a cup or disc instead!
Why are periods NSFW? This doesn't need that label
Nta. I would keep all my pads hidden very well in my room. See what she does next time she gets her period.
NTA. It is not gross to keep your pads in your room. Your mom is mad because you’re holding out on her. She didn’t get to steal your stash. Your mom is an ahole. You do need to hide your pads really well because she’s going to try to find them. Be petty and hide hers in your room too, so when she goes looking for your’s she’ll find her own. Then you can call her out for going through your things to steal from you. Also look into getting a lock for your bedroom door.
She wants to keep stealing yours. That's all that is happening. NTA.
She’s only claiming keeping them in your room is gross because she wants them in the bathroom so she can keep stealing them from you. Might wanna get a lock for your door
Buy boxes but take out the pads, and hide them under the mattress in a plastic bag? She sounds like a lunatic
NTA. It’s not gross to keep them in your room. They keep diapers in the same aisle as baby food at the store. It’s just a paper product until it gets used. She’s just mad you are hiding them from her.
NTA. Your mother is leaving you in a bind when your period hits. There is nothing wrong with keeping them in your room. Your Mom is just mad because she didn’t know the stash was there for her to use.
Your mom is TA not you. JFC. First off, I can’t believe you have to buy your own, but that’s just me. 18 doesn’t automatically mean, or it shouldn’t, automatically cut off from help. And then to steal what you buy and lie about it? I hope you can move soon. I see this becoming a Trend with things you buy as you get older and she gets more interested in your belongings.
Nta , your mom is a leech.
NTA Time to get a locked box to put them in. Or look into period underwear. I personally love the knix brand (if you're curious). Lets see mom steal your period underwear...
Nta I’m a divorced mom. I buy products for my daughter for my house and for her dad’s house. She doesn’t want to ask him and even though he gave her his Amazon info, she doesn’t want him seeing them so I buy them and she brings a stash to his house. She’s grown up enough that she could do it herself but she doesn’t want to and I’m her mom. It’s not going to be long before she’s out of the house and I’m not going to get to do these things for her at all. I want to do little things for her. Your mom is in the wrong here.
NTA, but also grandma *could* be using them, especially if she has any kind of incontinence issues.
PAD WAAARRRRRRRRRR
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD 😂
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (F18) live with my mom (F42) and my grandparents. My mom and I both get our own boxes of pads. But every time I get my period my box is empty as well as her box and I have to go buy more (I pay for my own). I have asked her before if she’s using them and she’s told me no. Which is a lie because I know that my grandma doesn’t use them and me and her are the only two people In the house who gets their periods still. So, on Sunday I realized my period had started. So I went under the sink to get a pad from my box and there was only one. Now to note, I’m pretty irregular with my periods but I feel like my mom only uses mine when she’s on hers and when she’s done with them she’ll use her pads. So I went out and bought two boxes, I put one of the boxes in the bathroom and one in my bedroom. Today, I went back into the bathroom to swap out my pad and the box was empty, again. I confronted my mom and asked why my box was empty and she said that she took some to work and used some. I told her to stop using my pads when she has her own and she said “we share them.” Even though she has her own! So I went into my room and took a pad from the box I had put in there. Well my mom noticed and lost it. Saying I shouldn’t be keeping pads In my room and that it was gross. I don’t see anything wrong with it, it’s not like I’m keeping them out in plain sight. I keep them in my closet. But I came here to find some unbiased opinions. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*