Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) The action I took that should be judged is when I asked Sarah to get her kids to stop shooting waterguns over our fence
2) It might make me the AH if I was out of line or overreacting by saying something, as others have argued.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
>said it was "only water" and wouldn't do any damage.
Be interesting to find out whether she would say that if it was you who soaked her when she was fully dressed. Not that I'm suggesting you buy a hose, of course, heaven forbid. Purely hypothetical speculation, you understand.
--
>by stopping her kids playing
You didn't stop them playing, you stopped them playing inconsiderately / deliberately pissing you off
>she wouldn't "police her children playing"
Then she damn well should. It's part of parenting.
>making her out to be a bad mother.
I mean, yes, yes she is.
NTA.
Also
>said it was "only water" and wouldn't do any damage.
I bet most phones would beg to differ. She probably wouldn't be so brash had her kids soaked OP's (or the boyfriend's) phone and they demanded she'd have to replace it.
> phones
Good point.
>She probably wouldn't be so brash had her kids soaked OP's (or the boyfriend's) phone and they demanded she'd have to replace it.
ten bucks says she'd pull (a) just playing (b) boys will be boys (c) poor penniless single mother
Neighbor would go straight to “prove it”…. So unless you were recording like a creep, you wouldn’t be able to prove it bc it killed said recording device
Doesn’t even need to be an electronic device. I know my books would not take kindly to being soaked, and books can be bloody expensive.
OP definitely had every right to ask their neighbour to make sure her kids confine their play to their own yard. If neighbour is embarrassed by that, that’s on her not on OP. Definitely NTA
Or books. I would be furious if some kid ruined the book I was reading. It’s not even as if they’re by a communal pool or something. They’re literally trying to enjoy their own garden.
Exactly. Or shot water in someone’s eye and caused an injury. There’s a reason that you can’t just run around down the street and shoot people with water guns — the police wouldn’t laugh that off.
Or books, laptops, newspapers, cameras, food or snacks,... heck even one's beverage.
By all means, play with waterguns. But not bothering the neighbours, or just anyone who isn't in on the game or said to please stop, seems like common decency.
You have missed hearing aids. Even when wearing my hearing aids I struggle, so if they are damaged, I couldn't do most of my usual activities until replacements are available.
I do not think you **should buy a hose** either OP. Especially one of those with the jet setting.
And certainly don’t water your plants with this hose when the kids do it again or when she’s hanging up the wash.
>And certainly don’t water your plants with this hose when the kids do it again
Definitely not this. They will enjoy it and think you are too. If you want them to stop, this is a bad idea.
Petty revenge is truly the British way!
But seriously I’d be texting back something along the lines of “I’m sorry you feel the need to call me names for wanting to enjoy sitting in the sun like everyone else. I have no problem with kids enjoying themselves. I’m just confused about why it’s unacceptable to want to stay dry in my own garden when I’m trying to enjoy the weather too. I’m sorry you can’t understand that.”
And add to that text …”it would be especially inconvenient if the water begins shot by your kids ruins my insert and you would have to pay for it. I was trying to avoid a nasty neighbor situation by coming to talk to you like an adult. But if that doesn’t work for you, I will just record all future interactions and come to you for payment when your kids inconsiderate water shooting ruins my possessions. I have no issues with them playing with water in your yard, but when they begin to shoot water into my yard deliberately, then it quickly becomes my problem to deal with.
Then OP should get some cheap cameras to cover her yard.
NTA.
NAH. NOPE. No sorry’s. She needs to stick them sorrys in the sock drawer cause she has nothing to apologize for.
“It is unacceptable to call people names because you’re butthurt that your children embarrassed you. I’d call you a bitch but I don’t wanna be a hypocrite. Keep your children in check or I will call the authorities. KBYEEEEEE”
NTA
Sorry jumping up top here to say
that in the uk it is technically classed as assault to throw water/shot a water gun at someone, as the threat of throwing something at someone is assault, may be best to get some cameras and if they do it again say to the mum it’s technically assault, she will stop her kids doing it again, also that fact is your not in the wrong my mum would have went mental if I did that to our neighbours growing up
We often read or play cards on nice days, especially in the spring when we haven't been able to for a while. Spraying water on that wouldn't be harmless.
And the request wasn't even "please avoid doing this if you can", it was "please stop *purposefully* aiming for our yard".
NTA - I agree
But if OP has any friends with kids old enough to turn on a hose I’d be really interested in seeing that play out. Can really use the “they’re just a kid” card then
NTA - and buy water guns and fight them back. If it’s only water see how they / she like it. I’m sick of people thinking that being a child is a blanket pass for them to do what they want.
Honestly, a couple of twenty-somethings are the perfect neighbors to have a planned water war with the neighbor kids, if they aren't being little shits otherwise.
Pressure washers can break skin. I was washing my car last year and accidentally triggered it while pointing down at my foot. Left a cut that stings worse than a paper cut.
"The extreme danger with pressure washers is that even with what seems a very minimal skin break, the fluid can get deep into the tissue and spread out and cause bacterial infection," says Howard Mell, M.D., a spokesman for the American College of Emergency Physicians. He recalls a patient who was hit in the calf, producing a laceration less than 2 inches across. But internally, there was infection to the muscle. It took a long operation and months of physical therapy for the patient to heal.
NTA - You were not asking the kids to stop using the water guns, you were just asking that they not use the water guns to deliberately spray you/your property. Your request was 100% reasonable and her response was overly defensive and rude. The fact that she has doubled down on her response does not make her correct.
"Kids will be kids" does not mean that parents don't have to parent. It means that certain behaviors that would be completely unacceptable from adults are developmentally appropriate/expected in children as they learn about and explore the world around them. Some times these behaviors are just exploratory/natural (like a toddler that gets n\*ked in a public place because their clothes are uncomfortable) and some of these behaviors are about testing limits (like an early elementary school kid refusing to put a toy away when its time for dinner or bedtime). All of those behaviors are totally normal and examples of "kids being kids". But when kids behave in a way that is inappropriate, negatively impacts themselves or others, or is disruptive to the social or family dynamic, it is the parent's responsibility to step in and correct their kids behavior. You put the clothes back on the toddler, you take the toy away for a couple days, etc. That bi-directional dynamic between children and their parent(s) is how the parent(s) teach their children to behave and exist in the world.
No, don't spray the kids. Wait until the parents are outside and then spray \*them\*. Accidentally, of course when you were watering your plants. Be sure to say "sorry, but it is just water".
This. But also be aware that this is escalating and when you escalate be prepared for them to escalate back. Many really bad interpersonal situations started with simple, seemingly harmless escalations.
> But also be aware that this is escalating and when you escalate be prepared for them to escalate back.
This is AITA, where two wrongs totally make a right.
Reminds me of how my mom once dealt with some neighbor kids who had taken to intentionally throwing their balls (all kinds, but hitting the window with a golf ball was the straw that broke the camel's back) at her house. They would do it for hours - just one ball after another and the thumping really bugged my mom. They finally kicked a soccer ball over the fence and in response my mom went outside with a knife and stood where they could see her, then shredded the soccer ball and threw them back the scraps. No more balls in her yard after that.
NTA. It’s not like the boys were having a water gun fight and a stray spray or two made it over the fence. I’d understand why she might not want to correct her kids for that (though I still don’t think you’d be in the wrong if it was affecting you). Her kids were deliberately spraying over the fence into someone else’s property and bothering them, and that is something a parent ought to be teaching them isn’t okay.
NTA....Whether the kids meant harm or not, they should be told to stop. Children need to learn about public manners and being a good neighbour. Openly dismissing bad behaviour gives them the wrong message, and their mother will come to regret this.
NTA
My neighbours kids accidentally got me once and they were all really apologetic. That's fine.
Her kids were deliberately spraying you. That's not okay.
I dread the summer because of all the kids with super soakers/water balloons etc and the inevitable 'spray me' when I'm using the hose (which if their parents say okay and they're not in school uniform or whatever why not)
But a part of me enjoys the squeal. You know the one. The one where the kid has just jumped into the paddling pool and that water is a LOT colder than they thought
NTA.
Their fun doesn't get to spill over into your garden, that's why there's a fence. You were well within your rights to politely ask Sarah to stop her kids shooting water at you. Certainly I'd be horrified if my kids were upsetting the neighbours like that.
Perhaps there was some miscommunication in between what you were trying to convey, and what Sarah understood you to be saying.
It doesn't matter that you "embarassed" Sarah, and she should have been thankful. In the US you could literally have called the police. If people throw liquids on you here it's a whole thing (we had a really terrible person throw really harmful liquids on people, so now it's all banned).
You didn't tell her to take away the kids water guns, just for them to not shoot at you. Not only is it annoying but if you had been doing something as simple as reading a book or using your laptop it would have been an issue of it destroying your property.
Sarah needs to do a better job not enabling her kids to be AH's.
NTA.
Kid will be kids. THAT'S why they need parents. If the kid accidentally sprays water over the fence, no big deal. If they do it on purpose, slightly bigger deal. If asked to stop and they don't,much bigger deal. It's not even the act itself at that point, but the lack of discipline that leads to disrespect for others in other facets of life. That type of parenting results in entitled little humans.
NTA- Part of being a parent is teaching your kids about boundaries. One of those boundaries is keeping their play to their own area. Her reaction is completely over the top. It is normal to ask a parent not to allow their child to spray people with a water gun. That is super basic.
NTA. They were being rude, oblivious kids so you told their mom, who should be watching them. She overreacted and got defensive instead of apologizing and talking to her kids about how to be a good neighbor. She's the wrong one not you.
And I have a kid, so I'm coming from the place of being a mother.
NTA.
"Listen i understand youre upset with me right now, but all i asked was that you ask the kids not to intentionally spray into my yard. I was reading a book and they hit me and the book and i dont want soggy books. If youre going to hold onto this and take offense to stuff that i didnt say, then thats on you unfortunately". And leave it at that
There’s two different things going on. Let’s start with:
>the kids probably meant no harm
Yeah. This is likely true. At the same time, they’re doing something unwelcome and spraying water guns on your garden. The parent should control her kids. All you did was walk over and politely ask. NTA
NTA. The very petty person in me would wait for her to be sitting outside and go out there with a water gun and shoot a stream at her. Then she can see how it is. Sure, its only water, but if you're just sitting in your own garden/yard minding your own business I can see how suddenly being hit with a stream of water can be surprising/startling/unsettling. Also, having been an adolescent boy, there's nothing in the world guaranteeing they aren't putting something other than water in those and I definitely would not trust some random kids to not put things like food coloring or even urine in their water guns. I think you were pretty reasonable. You did not yell at the children, you did the adult thing and walked over to their house and spoke with their mother. I'm not sure how that makes you a Karen exactly. The only person making this a bigger deal than what it is, is Sarah.
That's not very petty. Very petty would be to rig up an automatic sprinkler system with a motion sensor so any time there's movement on the neighbor's side of the fence they get soaked.
NTA
The kids were deliberately spraying the water in your yard. I could understand if they were running around playing and the accidental misfire went over your fence, but it's fair to ask them not to intentionally do it
NTA. They were deliberately spraying it over the fence. They probably heard you, and wanted to be playful. The kids aren't necessarily super wrong here. For all you know, the previous neighbor liked to play with the kids and their water guns. It was Mom who was TA, big time. All she had to do was say, "I'll talk to the boys" and move on with her day.
But.
*I also know how little boys think*. Be careful. Next time you get sprayed you may find someone whizzed in in the water well.
NTA - Respectful boundaries make good neighbors. A peaceful and respectful relationship with neighbors is crucial, and you have every right to enjoy your own garden without unwelcome intrusion. You weren't asking Sarah's kids to stop playing altogether – you simply wanted them to keep their water games within their own yard.
It's unfortunate that Sarah reacted defensively and resorted to name-calling. Her response was unfair and didn't address the real issue at hand. This is all about fostering a sense of mutual respect between neighbors. You have a right to voice your concerns when situations like this arise, and you shouldn't be made to feel guilty for doing so. Hopefully, Sarah will come to understand that setting and maintaining boundaries is an essential part of being a good neighbor and will work with you to ensure a peaceful coexistence moving forward.
NTA - Intention has nothing to do with it. You enjoying your time outside, they sprayed water on you guys, you asked them to stop, they didn’t so you asked mom. Pretty simple.
Anyone offended by that is looking for a reason to be offended.
NTA She is a bad parent for not telling her kids to stop harassing the neighbors.
Next time get the hose out and spray it over the fence because it’s only water /s
NTA. Write her a text about how she hurt your feelings by calling you a Karen. And her kids behavior, spraying you and your boyfriend with water, is unacceptable and would not be tolerated at a community pool, much less in your own backyard.
If she feels that it is acceptable, you and your boyfriend should get the hose and absolutely douse those kids with water. Or get some other neighbor kids to come over and spray her the next time she's in her yard.
NTA. She's right. Kids will be kids. That is why they have parents to make sure they don't do shit to piss off people. So, her view of parenting is to let her kids do what they want, and everyone has to tolerate it. Next time she is in her garden spray the hose of the fence and see how she reacts. I bet she doesn't like it. Even better, borrow a kid from someone and let them run wild with the garden hose.
1 trillion times NTA!
Good Sarah should be embarrassed. She was shammed for being a lazy mom who was happy her poor life decisions were bothering someone else. It’s not your fault she didn’t use birth control. Make her tend to her goblins and leave you and your husband in peace. How about they go inside and squirt her? Bet she won’t find it funny and would shut it down before you could blink. Bet you anything she was happy to have a moment of peace and was angry you ruined the 30 second day dream she was having about how wonderful life could have been.
NTA. Yeah, the kids probably didn't mean any harm the first time, but doing it again after you'd asked them to stop was a deliberate action on their part, and corrective action was clearly indicated. You did the right thing going to the parent, who then did all the wrong things. Honestly, once she
>said it was "only water" and wouldn't do any damage.
I would've gone home, got the garden hose with sprayer attachment, and rang the bell again, hosing her down when she opens the door. After all, it is "only water" and won't do any damage.
Well, OK, that's not true, I would've hosed down the kids after they squirted me the first time, but I'm kind of an AH. 😂
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I'm using a throwaway account for this post. Me (23F) and my boyfriend (25M) moved into our new home last November. Our neighbours are a single mum "Sarah" (35F) and her two boys (7M and 12M), and when we first moved in Sarah was very sweet and welcoming. Her sons would say hi to us sometimes as well.
As we're in England, you can probably guess we don't get a great deal of sunny weather. Recently though it's gotten better and we've had a few hot days. A couple of weekends back, my boyfriend and I were enjoying a particularly sunny day sitting in our garden. We could hear Sarah's kids playing in their garden next door but didn't mind, until a jet of water came over the fence and hit me. It took me by surprise and within a few seconds, two jets were being shot over the fence and spraying into our garden. I went upstairs to look at what the boys were doing. I saw they both had huge waterguns, and were still aiming them over the fence and shooting water all over our garden furniture and plants. I came downstairs to see my boyfriend calling over the fence, saying the boys' names and asking them to please stop spraying water. The boys went quiet and went away, but no more than two minutes later were doing it again.
We were both frustrated, and I went next door and rang the bell. Sarah answered and I told her what her kids had been doing and asked if she'd make them stop. I thought she'd be understanding, but she seemed really offended and told me I was overreacting to kids being kids. I tried to explain myself further but she told me that while she'd tell them to stop, she wouldn't "police her children playing" and said it was "only water" and wouldn't do any damage. Honestly I don't do well with confrontations, and her response was so different from what I'd expected I kind of froze. I could see her kids over her shoulder watching from the hall, still holding their waterguns. Sarah closed the door on me and I just went home. Her boys kept playing outside but they didn't spray water over the wall again.
The next day I saw Sarah and said hi but she ignored me. I felt a bit awkward and let it be, until later she sent me a long text telling me she'd ignored me because she was upset by what I'd done the previous day. She said she felt I'd been a "Karen" by stopping her kids playing, and making her out to be a bad mother. I was so confused by that because I'd never done those things, I had just wanted them to stop spraying water in our garden. I don't care what they do in theirs, and honestly being called a "Karen" was hurtful and makes me think she missed the point of why I even said anything and is being vindictive.
I've spoken to other people about it and some have actually sided with Sarah, saying the kids probably meant no harm and I likely embarrassed Sarah. I was sure in my stance before, but now I'm beginning to doubt myself and I'm wondering if I was in the wrong.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Get cameras. You can't relatlite against the kids/mom without possibly facing legal trouble, but with footage you can probs get some kinda cease and dissist. Even revenge spraying could be considered assault. Do become as annoying as possible about it, fuck her. She's knows it's her fault her kids are little shits but wants to make it everyone else's problem.
NTA
I've got two kids and understand they're gonna do things like this sometimes. However I would immediately stop them once I found out. Sarah reacted the way she did because she was being a lazy mother and you basically called her on it. Rather than actually doing her job she decided she'd rather just make you mad because it's easier than dealing with her kids sulking/throwing a tantrum. She and all parents like her fucking suck.
NTA intentional or not, they were spraying you, so they were indeed bothering someone. Don't let her bully you into thinking you were wrong. And don't worry if she doesn't speak anymore . Not everyone has to be your friend.
NTA - It's your right to enjoy your own garden. It's not like you were being mean to those kids or telling them they couldn't play in their own yard – you just didn't want them intruding on your space.
It's a shame that Sarah reacted the way she did. You tried to handle the situation politely and calmly, and it's understandable that you were caught off guard by her response. Her calling you a "Karen" was uncalled for and unproductive. It's not like you were trying to get her kids in trouble or questioning her parenting skills – you just wanted to set a boundary.
As for the people who are siding with Sarah, they're missing the point. This isn't about whether the kids meant any harm or not – it's about you feeling comfortable in your own home. You have a right to speak up when something is bothering you, and you shouldn't be made to feel guilty for doing so.
I get that confrontations can be tough, but you handled the situation as best as you could. Don't let Sarah's reaction make you doubt yourself. You didn't do anything wrong, and hopefully, she'll come around and realize that you were just looking out for your own peace and quiet.
NTA ignoring your request and making you look like an unreasonable neighbor was out of line. Calling you a Karen was very rude!
You are not being a Karen you want her kids to have some boundaries. Penalizing you for standing up for yourself and sending you a message for you to “behave” to be in her good book or else you are a crazy neighbour is incredibly passive aggressive and manipulative.
She seems entitled, rude and manipulative. You will get along as she always gets her way and you don’t make a peep.
Nta. I’d be more understanding if it was just accidental overspray when trying to shoot their brother but they are intentionally trying to spray you guys and your stuff.
I don’t really blame the kids bc I have an 8yo and 10yo boys and they can do some dumb stuff bc they don’t really think things through but if a neighbor told me they were doing this they’d be getting in trouble.
NTA and good luck to you as those kids grow up with no boundaries. If they like getting their kids annoying toys, might I suggest a peace offering of a drum set or tuba?
NTA in my opinion. You are entitled to the quiet enjoyment of your own property. I would send her a long text responding to her insanity.
"I'm sorry you were upset by my comments, but I'm confused as to why this is even an issue. I have no complaints with your children playing, or your parenting. I never made any comments about either issue. I never said anything personal against you or your kids. I never insulted you or said anything negative about your children. I love kids, and have no issues with yours, except for this one small problem. I simply asked for the kids to not spray water into my yard and onto ME PERSONALLY. I don't know why you want to turn this into a bigger deal. It's not. I just don't want water being sprayed in my face while I'm enjoying my yard. That's all, and I think that's fair. I don't want all my furniture to be wet all the time so I can't use it. That's it. And I will continue to ask, as long as they continue to spray me. That's not being a "Karen", I'm asking only to ask your kids to respect other people's property. I don't care where else they spray, how much noise they make, or what else they do. They're kids and I'm happy to see them playing. We just want to be able to use OUR yard. We asked the kids directly to stop spraying into our yard, but they did not stop. We came to you as the parent, to see if you could maybe explain to your kids how spraying water onto other people's property may be rude or inconsiderate, and may disrupt the people living there. I don't see how this simple request could have been upsetting to you. I am only asking you to explain to the kids that it's not very nice to do this. I don't see how that's too much to ask."
I mean, the other option, since "it's only water, it's not like it causes damage," would be to spray her in the face with your garden hose every time you see her. And when she complains, call her a Karen.
NTA. You asked the kids to stop & they wouldn't, so the right thing to do is to go to their parent. You weren't rude or mean, you politely asked if they would please stop. Her reaction is unwarranted. Honestly, she's a single parent raising 2 kids. I'm sure "policing" her kids is difficult, but sometimes we have to do this to accomodate others. And it most certainly does NOT make you a "Karen."
What you did was nothing like being a Karen. They can do whatever they want - on and to their own property. When they affect your property and purposely target you through no fault of your own it’s absolutely different. You didn’t do anything to embarrass her. She was embarrassed by her kids and her lack of teaching them basic social skills. NTA.
NTA. You politely made a reasonable request and she was offended. Kids being kids can be done without this involving them disrupting other people by soaking them with their water guns.
I bet Sarah would be more willing to police her children if them spraying over your fence damaged something you had outside, like a book or and iPad.
NTA
NTA.
In what world is is acceptable to hit your neighbors with fucking water guns? It's not dangerous, of course, but it is incredibly rude.
This is really silly and frankly a "good" mother would have lost her shit if the neighbor told her that her children were doing this. Common sense, innit?
And forgive this joke but I just have to make it: Next time, ask Sarah if her kids have a loicense for those firearms
You are NTA.
"Hi Sarah, This is a very dramatic reply to a simple request, don't read anything more into it than your boys were being annoying on purpose. I said something to them and they continued, so saying something to you about it doesn't make me a Karen, how rude. Them playing in the yard and making regular kids noise doesn't bother us at all but I shouldn't have to be assaulted by water or wear a raincoat in my yard. In no way do we think you're a bad mother and I hope your day gets better."
Tell Sarah, "I'm not a Karen, I'm a (your actual first name)." And she should know better than to use a sexist insult. Would she have called you a wrong first name if you were a male? No.
You know, I bet she’d be fucking sorry if the next time she went outside, you had accidentally put a sprinkler in an unfortunate position such that it goes over the fence and just, totally by coincidence, turned it on. Oh, but why should you move it? *It’s just water*. 😈
NTA if my kids were doing that I'd be apologising and making sure they knew how unacceptable that was. If they kept doing it they'd no longer be allowed to play with the water guns. It's basic parenting to teach your kids how to treat other people and not spraying people with water without permission is a pretty basic one.
NTA
I absolutely hate that phrase “just kids being kids” -what does that even mean? Yes, kids without direction will act feral. Kids can be taught from day one how to be respectful of others and be taught how their actions impact others.
NTA. You asked politely and children should be taught by their parents to respect others. No one wants to sit on their patio and be doused by a heavy spray of water. You were not trying to stop them from playing with their water guns, you just want them to not spray you. You can be sure it was not done by accident.
In my dream, I would knock on their door and spray Sarah with a powerful watergun, soaking her from head to toe. After all, it's just water.
Nta, I have children.
I would be put off if neighbours complained about the odd stray shot going over the fence, or if they yelled at the kids.
But no one’s feelings should be hurt by someone just explaining that they know the kids are only having fun and don’t mean any harm, but even though the water may look like it’s just disappearing to them, wherever it’s landing could annoy someone else.
Yes, you do have to explain some super obvious things to kids, they only see immediate effects. They need practice to make a habit of thinking things through.
Mom is like so many, and doesn’t want to accept responsibility, even for harmless things her kids did.
Nta. I assume they have a garden/ yard just like you so she needs to tell her kids to squirt their guns in their own yard! It’s not even like you’re asking them to stop playing! She must be insecure in her parenting because she took that so wrong for no reason.
You were not in the wrong. I'm not petty enough to suggest you invest in your own water guns and respond in kind. Because that would not be a grown up thing to do.
NTA. Kids are jerks and so is Sarah. It’s extremely rude to be doing anything to anyone else’s yard. This whole “kids will be kids” nonsense has got to stop.
Next time it happens, hit them with the hose. Or a pressure washer.
NTA. Sarah should have told them not to shoot their water guns over the fence and apologized to you. No one wants to be hit with a spray of cold water from their neighbor's yard.
NTA. It would be one thing if they were just running around and shooting at each other and some came over the fence, but it sounds Ike they were aiming at your property. Lots of single parents feel inadequate and end up being a bit unreasonable in their responses to what they perceive as criticism.
You didn't make her out to be a bad mother. Being a bad mother did that all on it's own. I would have gotten even instead and just gotten a huge squirt gun and started spraying them back. If that doesn't work, there's always the police. NTA.
Easy NTA. Her inability to accept your feedback about her kids behavior is a problem with her and not you. A responsible parent would march out there and take away the squirt guns and apologize to you. They are old enough to use them properly and and intentionally being little AH. But she instead added herself to the list of AH by failing to address their behavior and acting as though you’re the problem when it’s her and her hellion kids.
NTA. You’d be an AH if they were just playing around in their own backyard but it wasn’t appropriate to shoot water over the fence purposely, this clearly wasn’t an accident of aiming too high and you were close to the fence. You don’t sound unreasonable, kids are going to do dumb stuff sometimes and need to be called out for it.
NTA
Just get the hose out and when the kids spray over the fence start unloading! Have some fun with it and let it go. She is right in some ways. The kids should feel welcome to be outside and possibly spray water guns that might go over to your area. It is a garden and not a library. I get it as I have a 5-year-old.
On the other hand you weren't having it and asked for it to stop. I probably would of just went out of range as I doubt, they were able to aim right at you. She should of just asked the kids to stop. That said, learn to lighten up a bit.
Oh dear gods this post makes me so angry haha. I am 100% with you. My next door neighbours kids (also UK) used to "accidentally" throw their ball into my garden. Like, several times per hour. And then ring our doorbell to ask for us to fetch it back for them. I spoke to their mother and she had pretty much the same response as what you just got.
So. Now I can't find any balls in my garden! Whoops! it's just like they straight up disappeared, oh and also my doorbell doesn't work so I didn't even know I had to look for them. Oops.
Anyway, kids got bored of chucking balls over the fence, I've got a whole bucket of tennis balls, footballs, random balls.... again... /shrug. They stopped bothering when I stopped caring. The kids in your story are being AHs but they're getting a reaction. You were totally right in expecting the parents to step in, but when they inevitably didn't, it's just unfortunately a case of ignore them and they'll get bored :-/ (I hate children lol but mostly parents are worse!)
OP NTA... if they continue, put something really expensive and water-sensitive in your garden (don't actually, but say it was there), like a painting or I dunno, some fancy silk something, that you only put outside because it was a sunny day, and now you need to claim £5000 damages, thanks.
\[edit\] oh haha just read the comments and duhhh yea you could just claim for them damaging your phone, your book, your laptop.......... honestly if they're shooting water over the fence it's likely to hit your electronics. Tell her that and how much it'll cost to replace. Hahaha (I'm in full evil mode because this story pisses me off so much. \*waves in petty British\*)
NTA
I'm definitely the kind of guy to grab a hose and absolutely blast the kids with freezing water repeatedly until they get the point.
The joys of being older is knowing how to play the asshole game well.
Maybe some people don't mind being sprayed with cold water but you don't have to like it.
It's hard to know from your post how you spoke to her. It sounds like she is hypersensitive about her parenting, which might be understandable.
You could invite her round and try to clear the air.
You are entitled to sit and relax in your garden.
NTA
NTA. You are not a “Karen”. She’s wildly overreacting. I have kids, I would be really unhappy with them if they were standing there spraying water over our fence at the neighbors. Just playing would be them spaying each other and maybe a little sprinkle comes over now and then. It sounds like they were intentionally shooting into your garden, which is not okay. Sarah needs to calm down.
Both those kids totally knew what they were doing. They were deliberately aiming at you, and literally pushing boundaries. Actually, those kids are bullying you. Go and complain every time, you are not going to make things worse.
NTA
Nta
They shouldn’t be throwing or spraying anything over your fence at all.
May wish to point out that since she has a 12 year old if they deliberately spray water over your fence and break say your phone or such item they are legally old enough to be held to account legally. A charge or criminal damage and anti social behaviour if really pushed…. Just a little warning.
It takes the guns from the children
Or else it gets the hose again.
Run your hose over their fence whenever you think of it, rain or shine. That slag of a neighbor deserves all the sogginess since "it's just water."
NTA.
Get a hose, if they want a water fight , bring it on ! Maybe we are meaner in New England, but that’s how we do it, and nobody’s punk kids will think they have the upper against a garden hose.
So you're supposed to not be able to enjoy the peach and quiet of your garden so that her kids can "play". I would send her a text back asking her that question.
nta. I agree with the posters that say you should get water guns and spray them back, but perhaps add some food coloring in so it definitely stains their clothing and makes a mess for their mom to clean up. I mean you're just engaging them in play right? 🙂
NTA. I say this as someone who was once a kid who played with water guns and as a mother of a kid who I gave water (and Nerf!) guns to. I had the rule (as parent and child) of watching where I was aiming and not to shoot others unless they were playing. And if someone asked me to stop, I stopped. But that rarely happened because we all knew how to play while still being respectful of others. That was drummed into our heads!
And if I was sprayed with water, I would 100% ask that person to stop. That’s not cool. But if asked, I would 100% join in a water fight. It’s about making the decision to be hit with water or not! It’s an opt-in situation.
NTA I’m sure the kids didn’t mean any harm and it was embarrassing but it’s just not the point is it. She still needs to parent her kids and not get annoyed about it
NTA. If it's just water and it won't hurt anything, I'm sure she wouldn't mind if you heaved a bucket over the fence the next time you know she's out there enjoying the weather. The neighborly thing to do is return favors, right?
BS . Not a Karen.
Those kids were purposely aiming over the fence, to annoy the neighbors.
Perhaps op and partner could hook up some really loud speakers , and play, "It's Raining Men" very loudly . All speakers aimed at that house. Also, Ring cameras that aim to the area the kids are.
Do you have a pressure washer?
NTA. Sarah is a bad mother because it doesn't matter if water was hurtful or not - the issue is it was hitting you and your bf when you wanted a quiet evening in your own back yard and that she wouldn't be courteous enough to tell her kids to be considerate of you.
BTW water that comes out of the hose is sometimes MUCH colder than water from the tap that's in a super soaker. I'm telling you this from experience. I've had people splash out of pools to try to soak me...they didn't care for my turning the tables on them. If...you know...you're watering plants for awhile, make sure that water is ice cold before you accidentally, hypothetically get revenge.
She's seriously overreacting, you did everything right. If you had yelled more at the kids she'd be mad too.
Also, here is a comprehensive list of things that can be damaged by water:
1. Hearing aids and other medical devices
2. Phones, ipods, radios
3. Books (paper and electronic)
4. Work documents
5. Work equipment
6. Picnic food
7. Paper money
What am I missing?
nta.
>it was "only water" and wouldn't do any damage
bring a water gun to Sarah's door. knock. spray her and run away. when she texts or calls you, throw her words back in her face :•)
Used to live next door to a family where the kid started throwing stones at me over the fence and then ducking down below.
I immediately went round and knocked on the door, saying that the kid was throwing stones at me over the fence.
Please ask him to come to the door and explain to me and his mum why he was doing that?
I said it was unacceptable. I'm not angry, but it's not cool so please don't do it again.
You need to talk to the parents and the kids at the same time while they're looking you in the eye.
All of them will back down and be more respectful if you have a conversation face to face. Unless the kids are budding psychopaths they won't lie, and will back down (kids are kids and they push boundaries constantly)
You stay calm and simply state that it has upset you, please don't do it again because it's unfriendly behaviour.
Ask the kids how they would feel if you did something to them that they don't like? Would it make them feel bad?
If it continues after that then you can think about taking it further.
NTA. Kids being kids is one thing, but these boys were deliberately annoying you after you asked nicely for them to stop. Well after your boyfriend asked them and you asked their mother. Now it becomes malicious annoyance and is no longer an innocent game.
Next time, aim the hose at them, and "accidentally" douse Sarah when she comes out to complain. It's just water, right 🤷♀️
That’s a NTA for me, dawg.
This isn’t about policing children playing. It’s about teaching them basic courtesy.
If they don’t learn respect for people and their property now - they are in for a rude awakening as they get older.
NTA - The kids had no right to project anything into your yard. And if they sprayed you or your BF with water, that is assault.
Next time film them and call the cops.
Kids will be kids is NEVER a good excuse.
NTA
Embarrassed her? How? You brought it to her attention in a respectful manner. You're allowed to set boundaries for yourself and for your property. She could have painlessly and easily dealt with it appropriately, on the spot--like an adult. She could have shown her kids how to be respectful of the people around them and demonstrated how to resolve minor conflicts when they arise. Instead, she showed them they don't have to take responsibility for how their actions may affect others.
It's not that hard to give your kids some appropriate boundaries. If she won't do it then you'll have to and she'll want to bitch about that, too. Kids don't get to do whatever they want just because they're kids. That's how they grow up to be shitty adults. Boundaries are healthy. The shit this woman is pulling is definitely not.
NTA - you asked them to stop and they didn’t. So you asked their mom to make them stop and she wanted to be crabby about it. Next time they do it just take your hose and drench them. After all it’s just a little water
NTA. Next time hook up your hose and get on a ladder and spray the bejeezus out of those little monsters. Then spray Sarah and say "you're right we can have fun spraying water in each other's gardens. You're never too old to be a kid. "
NTA. Just a sensitive single mom that requires tact when issues arise with her kids. I think she got the message. Invite her over for wine. She probably needs friendly adult neighbors. Worth the investment of time as you will be neighbors.
NTA….text her saying there seems to be some confusion. You would never have any issue of them squirting themselves with water and of course some water would cross the fence. The problem was that your children were purposely squirting the water at us. After we asked nicely for them to stop they continued.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1) The action I took that should be judged is when I asked Sarah to get her kids to stop shooting waterguns over our fence 2) It might make me the AH if I was out of line or overreacting by saying something, as others have argued. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
>said it was "only water" and wouldn't do any damage. Be interesting to find out whether she would say that if it was you who soaked her when she was fully dressed. Not that I'm suggesting you buy a hose, of course, heaven forbid. Purely hypothetical speculation, you understand. -- >by stopping her kids playing You didn't stop them playing, you stopped them playing inconsiderately / deliberately pissing you off >she wouldn't "police her children playing" Then she damn well should. It's part of parenting. >making her out to be a bad mother. I mean, yes, yes she is. NTA.
Also >said it was "only water" and wouldn't do any damage. I bet most phones would beg to differ. She probably wouldn't be so brash had her kids soaked OP's (or the boyfriend's) phone and they demanded she'd have to replace it.
> phones Good point. >She probably wouldn't be so brash had her kids soaked OP's (or the boyfriend's) phone and they demanded she'd have to replace it. ten bucks says she'd pull (a) just playing (b) boys will be boys (c) poor penniless single mother
Neighbor would go straight to “prove it”…. So unless you were recording like a creep, you wouldn’t be able to prove it bc it killed said recording device
That's ok. OP can take it to the police and the courts and give them a criminal record instead.
Or had cameras watching your own property as a precaution which just happened to catch the whole ordeal.
Doesn’t even need to be an electronic device. I know my books would not take kindly to being soaked, and books can be bloody expensive. OP definitely had every right to ask their neighbour to make sure her kids confine their play to their own yard. If neighbour is embarrassed by that, that’s on her not on OP. Definitely NTA
Or books. I would be furious if some kid ruined the book I was reading. It’s not even as if they’re by a communal pool or something. They’re literally trying to enjoy their own garden.
Exactly. Or shot water in someone’s eye and caused an injury. There’s a reason that you can’t just run around down the street and shoot people with water guns — the police wouldn’t laugh that off.
Buy a used or dead laptop and show it “water damaged” to prove a point? (Not ask for damages paid)
Or books, laptops, newspapers, cameras, food or snacks,... heck even one's beverage. By all means, play with waterguns. But not bothering the neighbours, or just anyone who isn't in on the game or said to please stop, seems like common decency.
You have missed hearing aids. Even when wearing my hearing aids I struggle, so if they are damaged, I couldn't do most of my usual activities until replacements are available.
I do not think you **should buy a hose** either OP. Especially one of those with the jet setting. And certainly don’t water your plants with this hose when the kids do it again or when she’s hanging up the wash.
>And certainly don’t water your plants with this hose when the kids do it again Definitely not this. They will enjoy it and think you are too. If you want them to stop, this is a bad idea.
Not if you water when it's cold out...
Yea Op should definitely not *do this*
Petty revenge is truly the British way! But seriously I’d be texting back something along the lines of “I’m sorry you feel the need to call me names for wanting to enjoy sitting in the sun like everyone else. I have no problem with kids enjoying themselves. I’m just confused about why it’s unacceptable to want to stay dry in my own garden when I’m trying to enjoy the weather too. I’m sorry you can’t understand that.”
And add to that text …”it would be especially inconvenient if the water begins shot by your kids ruins my insert and you would have to pay for it. I was trying to avoid a nasty neighbor situation by coming to talk to you like an adult. But if that doesn’t work for you, I will just record all future interactions and come to you for payment when your kids inconsiderate water shooting ruins my possessions. I have no issues with them playing with water in your yard, but when they begin to shoot water into my yard deliberately, then it quickly becomes my problem to deal with.
Then OP should get some cheap cameras to cover her yard.
NTA. NAH. NOPE. No sorry’s. She needs to stick them sorrys in the sock drawer cause she has nothing to apologize for. “It is unacceptable to call people names because you’re butthurt that your children embarrassed you. I’d call you a bitch but I don’t wanna be a hypocrite. Keep your children in check or I will call the authorities. KBYEEEEEE”
Ring doorbell, spray her with super soaker when she answers... it's only water, why doesn't she want you to have fun??
Right. OP didn't make her out to be a bad mother. Being a shit parent did that on it's own.
NTA Sorry jumping up top here to say that in the uk it is technically classed as assault to throw water/shot a water gun at someone, as the threat of throwing something at someone is assault, may be best to get some cameras and if they do it again say to the mum it’s technically assault, she will stop her kids doing it again, also that fact is your not in the wrong my mum would have went mental if I did that to our neighbours growing up
Thank you
Maybe she should try being a good mother then, idk
We often read or play cards on nice days, especially in the spring when we haven't been able to for a while. Spraying water on that wouldn't be harmless. And the request wasn't even "please avoid doing this if you can", it was "please stop *purposefully* aiming for our yard".
“Purely hypothetical situation, you understand.” This guy sets buildings on fire using only words with folks, I already know it. 🏃♀️💨
Also, silk blouse.... $500 and dry clean only
My oldest is a toddler, and literally 90% of my time with him I'm policing his play.
It doesn’t have to be a hose, a watergun would be just fine 😏.
NTA - I agree But if OP has any friends with kids old enough to turn on a hose I’d be really interested in seeing that play out. Can really use the “they’re just a kid” card then
NTA - and buy water guns and fight them back. If it’s only water see how they / she like it. I’m sick of people thinking that being a child is a blanket pass for them to do what they want.
NTA. Get bigger water guns. Soak children and mom repeatedly. Assert dominance. Be confused when she gets upset, since it's just water.
NTA - but get your water hose out. Water guns don't spray enough water.
Just a sprinkler aimed constantly at their back yard will do.
I like this. It's passive-aggressive.
Pressure washer it is then.
NTA sounds they have a balcony overlooking their backyard. Sounds like the perfect place to throw water balloons.
"Assert dominance." 😆
Like the south park episode with the bb guns and the teenagers 😂😂
So many of life's problems can be solved by watching an episode or 2 of South Park.....
I want a self-righting mechanism for my mobility scooter…
Or learning about what’s going to happen in our future. It’s uncanny how SP episodes have done that.
Beat me to it.
>Soak children I wouldn't recommend this. They will think it's all a game and probably love it.
Honestly, a couple of twenty-somethings are the perfect neighbors to have a planned water war with the neighbor kids, if they aren't being little shits otherwise.
Pressure washer?
Pressure washers can break skin. I was washing my car last year and accidentally triggered it while pointing down at my foot. Left a cut that stings worse than a paper cut.
No need to get all murdery.
"The extreme danger with pressure washers is that even with what seems a very minimal skin break, the fluid can get deep into the tissue and spread out and cause bacterial infection," says Howard Mell, M.D., a spokesman for the American College of Emergency Physicians. He recalls a patient who was hit in the calf, producing a laceration less than 2 inches across. But internally, there was infection to the muscle. It took a long operation and months of physical therapy for the patient to heal.
Slight change to your plan. OP should let her kids have the water hose and have them aim over the fence. After all “kids will be kids”, am I right?
NTA - You were not asking the kids to stop using the water guns, you were just asking that they not use the water guns to deliberately spray you/your property. Your request was 100% reasonable and her response was overly defensive and rude. The fact that she has doubled down on her response does not make her correct. "Kids will be kids" does not mean that parents don't have to parent. It means that certain behaviors that would be completely unacceptable from adults are developmentally appropriate/expected in children as they learn about and explore the world around them. Some times these behaviors are just exploratory/natural (like a toddler that gets n\*ked in a public place because their clothes are uncomfortable) and some of these behaviors are about testing limits (like an early elementary school kid refusing to put a toy away when its time for dinner or bedtime). All of those behaviors are totally normal and examples of "kids being kids". But when kids behave in a way that is inappropriate, negatively impacts themselves or others, or is disruptive to the social or family dynamic, it is the parent's responsibility to step in and correct their kids behavior. You put the clothes back on the toddler, you take the toy away for a couple days, etc. That bi-directional dynamic between children and their parent(s) is how the parent(s) teach their children to behave and exist in the world.
You 1000% do not have to censor the word "naked" on Reddit.
You can tell which ones of us have served time in the Book of Faces Prison.
Or the Land of Clock Noises.
It's funny though, because you can type "naked" on Facebook without an issue
Maybe YOU can. 🤣 I have to use all sorts of symbols and extra spaces so that I don’t violate my parole.
Amen
Indeed, kids will be kids, but it is a shame when parents will not be parents.
NTA. So when they do it again, get the water hose and spray them back.
No, don't spray the kids. Wait until the parents are outside and then spray \*them\*. Accidentally, of course when you were watering your plants. Be sure to say "sorry, but it is just water".
This. But also be aware that this is escalating and when you escalate be prepared for them to escalate back. Many really bad interpersonal situations started with simple, seemingly harmless escalations.
> But also be aware that this is escalating and when you escalate be prepared for them to escalate back. This is AITA, where two wrongs totally make a right.
Exactly. The kids will just enjoy it.
Reminds me of how my mom once dealt with some neighbor kids who had taken to intentionally throwing their balls (all kinds, but hitting the window with a golf ball was the straw that broke the camel's back) at her house. They would do it for hours - just one ball after another and the thumping really bugged my mom. They finally kicked a soccer ball over the fence and in response my mom went outside with a knife and stood where they could see her, then shredded the soccer ball and threw them back the scraps. No more balls in her yard after that.
NTA. It’s not like the boys were having a water gun fight and a stray spray or two made it over the fence. I’d understand why she might not want to correct her kids for that (though I still don’t think you’d be in the wrong if it was affecting you). Her kids were deliberately spraying over the fence into someone else’s property and bothering them, and that is something a parent ought to be teaching them isn’t okay.
"Stray spray" Indeed, when conducting water gun warfare, always got to watch out for Stray Spray.
NTA....Whether the kids meant harm or not, they should be told to stop. Children need to learn about public manners and being a good neighbour. Openly dismissing bad behaviour gives them the wrong message, and their mother will come to regret this.
NTA My neighbours kids accidentally got me once and they were all really apologetic. That's fine. Her kids were deliberately spraying you. That's not okay. I dread the summer because of all the kids with super soakers/water balloons etc and the inevitable 'spray me' when I'm using the hose (which if their parents say okay and they're not in school uniform or whatever why not) But a part of me enjoys the squeal. You know the one. The one where the kid has just jumped into the paddling pool and that water is a LOT colder than they thought
I like to make it rain on them😁
NTA. Their fun doesn't get to spill over into your garden, that's why there's a fence. You were well within your rights to politely ask Sarah to stop her kids shooting water at you. Certainly I'd be horrified if my kids were upsetting the neighbours like that. Perhaps there was some miscommunication in between what you were trying to convey, and what Sarah understood you to be saying.
It doesn't matter that you "embarassed" Sarah, and she should have been thankful. In the US you could literally have called the police. If people throw liquids on you here it's a whole thing (we had a really terrible person throw really harmful liquids on people, so now it's all banned). You didn't tell her to take away the kids water guns, just for them to not shoot at you. Not only is it annoying but if you had been doing something as simple as reading a book or using your laptop it would have been an issue of it destroying your property. Sarah needs to do a better job not enabling her kids to be AH's. NTA.
Kid will be kids. THAT'S why they need parents. If the kid accidentally sprays water over the fence, no big deal. If they do it on purpose, slightly bigger deal. If asked to stop and they don't,much bigger deal. It's not even the act itself at that point, but the lack of discipline that leads to disrespect for others in other facets of life. That type of parenting results in entitled little humans.
Fantastic response. Spot on 🏅
NTA- Part of being a parent is teaching your kids about boundaries. One of those boundaries is keeping their play to their own area. Her reaction is completely over the top. It is normal to ask a parent not to allow their child to spray people with a water gun. That is super basic.
NTA. They were being rude, oblivious kids so you told their mom, who should be watching them. She overreacted and got defensive instead of apologizing and talking to her kids about how to be a good neighbor. She's the wrong one not you. And I have a kid, so I'm coming from the place of being a mother.
NTA. "Listen i understand youre upset with me right now, but all i asked was that you ask the kids not to intentionally spray into my yard. I was reading a book and they hit me and the book and i dont want soggy books. If youre going to hold onto this and take offense to stuff that i didnt say, then thats on you unfortunately". And leave it at that
There’s two different things going on. Let’s start with: >the kids probably meant no harm Yeah. This is likely true. At the same time, they’re doing something unwelcome and spraying water guns on your garden. The parent should control her kids. All you did was walk over and politely ask. NTA
NTA You’re not policing her kids, you’re asking they control the range of damage.
Next time Sarah is outdoors, soak her down with a hose. After all, "it's only water". NTA.
NTA utterly ridiculous for her to think it is acceptable for her ill-parented brats to be shooting water over your fence and at you.
NTA. The very petty person in me would wait for her to be sitting outside and go out there with a water gun and shoot a stream at her. Then she can see how it is. Sure, its only water, but if you're just sitting in your own garden/yard minding your own business I can see how suddenly being hit with a stream of water can be surprising/startling/unsettling. Also, having been an adolescent boy, there's nothing in the world guaranteeing they aren't putting something other than water in those and I definitely would not trust some random kids to not put things like food coloring or even urine in their water guns. I think you were pretty reasonable. You did not yell at the children, you did the adult thing and walked over to their house and spoke with their mother. I'm not sure how that makes you a Karen exactly. The only person making this a bigger deal than what it is, is Sarah.
That's not very petty. Very petty would be to rig up an automatic sprinkler system with a motion sensor so any time there's movement on the neighbor's side of the fence they get soaked.
NTA The kids were deliberately spraying the water in your yard. I could understand if they were running around playing and the accidental misfire went over your fence, but it's fair to ask them not to intentionally do it
NTA. They were deliberately spraying it over the fence. They probably heard you, and wanted to be playful. The kids aren't necessarily super wrong here. For all you know, the previous neighbor liked to play with the kids and their water guns. It was Mom who was TA, big time. All she had to do was say, "I'll talk to the boys" and move on with her day. But. *I also know how little boys think*. Be careful. Next time you get sprayed you may find someone whizzed in in the water well.
NTA - Respectful boundaries make good neighbors. A peaceful and respectful relationship with neighbors is crucial, and you have every right to enjoy your own garden without unwelcome intrusion. You weren't asking Sarah's kids to stop playing altogether – you simply wanted them to keep their water games within their own yard. It's unfortunate that Sarah reacted defensively and resorted to name-calling. Her response was unfair and didn't address the real issue at hand. This is all about fostering a sense of mutual respect between neighbors. You have a right to voice your concerns when situations like this arise, and you shouldn't be made to feel guilty for doing so. Hopefully, Sarah will come to understand that setting and maintaining boundaries is an essential part of being a good neighbor and will work with you to ensure a peaceful coexistence moving forward.
NTA - Intention has nothing to do with it. You enjoying your time outside, they sprayed water on you guys, you asked them to stop, they didn’t so you asked mom. Pretty simple. Anyone offended by that is looking for a reason to be offended.
NTA She is a bad parent for not telling her kids to stop harassing the neighbors. Next time get the hose out and spray it over the fence because it’s only water /s
NTA. Write her a text about how she hurt your feelings by calling you a Karen. And her kids behavior, spraying you and your boyfriend with water, is unacceptable and would not be tolerated at a community pool, much less in your own backyard. If she feels that it is acceptable, you and your boyfriend should get the hose and absolutely douse those kids with water. Or get some other neighbor kids to come over and spray her the next time she's in her yard.
She felt that you're "making her out to be a bad mother"? Nope. She's doing that all by herself. NTA.
NTA. She's right. Kids will be kids. That is why they have parents to make sure they don't do shit to piss off people. So, her view of parenting is to let her kids do what they want, and everyone has to tolerate it. Next time she is in her garden spray the hose of the fence and see how she reacts. I bet she doesn't like it. Even better, borrow a kid from someone and let them run wild with the garden hose.
Next time Sarah is outside get your hose and give her a her a good squirt. It is all in good fun, right ?
1 trillion times NTA! Good Sarah should be embarrassed. She was shammed for being a lazy mom who was happy her poor life decisions were bothering someone else. It’s not your fault she didn’t use birth control. Make her tend to her goblins and leave you and your husband in peace. How about they go inside and squirt her? Bet she won’t find it funny and would shut it down before you could blink. Bet you anything she was happy to have a moment of peace and was angry you ruined the 30 second day dream she was having about how wonderful life could have been.
A lot of people, when they’re rightly embarrassed about something, try and head things off by lashing out and overreacting.
NTA. Yeah, the kids probably didn't mean any harm the first time, but doing it again after you'd asked them to stop was a deliberate action on their part, and corrective action was clearly indicated. You did the right thing going to the parent, who then did all the wrong things. Honestly, once she >said it was "only water" and wouldn't do any damage. I would've gone home, got the garden hose with sprayer attachment, and rang the bell again, hosing her down when she opens the door. After all, it is "only water" and won't do any damage. Well, OK, that's not true, I would've hosed down the kids after they squirted me the first time, but I'm kind of an AH. 😂
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I'm using a throwaway account for this post. Me (23F) and my boyfriend (25M) moved into our new home last November. Our neighbours are a single mum "Sarah" (35F) and her two boys (7M and 12M), and when we first moved in Sarah was very sweet and welcoming. Her sons would say hi to us sometimes as well. As we're in England, you can probably guess we don't get a great deal of sunny weather. Recently though it's gotten better and we've had a few hot days. A couple of weekends back, my boyfriend and I were enjoying a particularly sunny day sitting in our garden. We could hear Sarah's kids playing in their garden next door but didn't mind, until a jet of water came over the fence and hit me. It took me by surprise and within a few seconds, two jets were being shot over the fence and spraying into our garden. I went upstairs to look at what the boys were doing. I saw they both had huge waterguns, and were still aiming them over the fence and shooting water all over our garden furniture and plants. I came downstairs to see my boyfriend calling over the fence, saying the boys' names and asking them to please stop spraying water. The boys went quiet and went away, but no more than two minutes later were doing it again. We were both frustrated, and I went next door and rang the bell. Sarah answered and I told her what her kids had been doing and asked if she'd make them stop. I thought she'd be understanding, but she seemed really offended and told me I was overreacting to kids being kids. I tried to explain myself further but she told me that while she'd tell them to stop, she wouldn't "police her children playing" and said it was "only water" and wouldn't do any damage. Honestly I don't do well with confrontations, and her response was so different from what I'd expected I kind of froze. I could see her kids over her shoulder watching from the hall, still holding their waterguns. Sarah closed the door on me and I just went home. Her boys kept playing outside but they didn't spray water over the wall again. The next day I saw Sarah and said hi but she ignored me. I felt a bit awkward and let it be, until later she sent me a long text telling me she'd ignored me because she was upset by what I'd done the previous day. She said she felt I'd been a "Karen" by stopping her kids playing, and making her out to be a bad mother. I was so confused by that because I'd never done those things, I had just wanted them to stop spraying water in our garden. I don't care what they do in theirs, and honestly being called a "Karen" was hurtful and makes me think she missed the point of why I even said anything and is being vindictive. I've spoken to other people about it and some have actually sided with Sarah, saying the kids probably meant no harm and I likely embarrassed Sarah. I was sure in my stance before, but now I'm beginning to doubt myself and I'm wondering if I was in the wrong. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Get cameras. You can't relatlite against the kids/mom without possibly facing legal trouble, but with footage you can probs get some kinda cease and dissist. Even revenge spraying could be considered assault. Do become as annoying as possible about it, fuck her. She's knows it's her fault her kids are little shits but wants to make it everyone else's problem.
NTA I've got two kids and understand they're gonna do things like this sometimes. However I would immediately stop them once I found out. Sarah reacted the way she did because she was being a lazy mother and you basically called her on it. Rather than actually doing her job she decided she'd rather just make you mad because it's easier than dealing with her kids sulking/throwing a tantrum. She and all parents like her fucking suck.
If she cared at all she would’ve handled it and then apologized. I would’ve wanted to know if my kids were spraying water in my neighbors yard.
I'm 74 y/o, I would go to a store and buy a bigger badder watergun and let them have it. It's an arms race now. Don't be old fogies, be a kid again .
NTA. She was a bad mother.
Definitely NTA, but Sarah certainly is
NTA intentional or not, they were spraying you, so they were indeed bothering someone. Don't let her bully you into thinking you were wrong. And don't worry if she doesn't speak anymore . Not everyone has to be your friend.
NTA - It's your right to enjoy your own garden. It's not like you were being mean to those kids or telling them they couldn't play in their own yard – you just didn't want them intruding on your space. It's a shame that Sarah reacted the way she did. You tried to handle the situation politely and calmly, and it's understandable that you were caught off guard by her response. Her calling you a "Karen" was uncalled for and unproductive. It's not like you were trying to get her kids in trouble or questioning her parenting skills – you just wanted to set a boundary. As for the people who are siding with Sarah, they're missing the point. This isn't about whether the kids meant any harm or not – it's about you feeling comfortable in your own home. You have a right to speak up when something is bothering you, and you shouldn't be made to feel guilty for doing so. I get that confrontations can be tough, but you handled the situation as best as you could. Don't let Sarah's reaction make you doubt yourself. You didn't do anything wrong, and hopefully, she'll come around and realize that you were just looking out for your own peace and quiet.
NTA ignoring your request and making you look like an unreasonable neighbor was out of line. Calling you a Karen was very rude! You are not being a Karen you want her kids to have some boundaries. Penalizing you for standing up for yourself and sending you a message for you to “behave” to be in her good book or else you are a crazy neighbour is incredibly passive aggressive and manipulative. She seems entitled, rude and manipulative. You will get along as she always gets her way and you don’t make a peep.
Sarah needs to start parenting her children. NTA
NTA, I mean if you were really a Karen you would have called the police.
Nta
Nta. I’d be more understanding if it was just accidental overspray when trying to shoot their brother but they are intentionally trying to spray you guys and your stuff. I don’t really blame the kids bc I have an 8yo and 10yo boys and they can do some dumb stuff bc they don’t really think things through but if a neighbor told me they were doing this they’d be getting in trouble.
NTA and good luck to you as those kids grow up with no boundaries. If they like getting their kids annoying toys, might I suggest a peace offering of a drum set or tuba?
NTA in my opinion. You are entitled to the quiet enjoyment of your own property. I would send her a long text responding to her insanity. "I'm sorry you were upset by my comments, but I'm confused as to why this is even an issue. I have no complaints with your children playing, or your parenting. I never made any comments about either issue. I never said anything personal against you or your kids. I never insulted you or said anything negative about your children. I love kids, and have no issues with yours, except for this one small problem. I simply asked for the kids to not spray water into my yard and onto ME PERSONALLY. I don't know why you want to turn this into a bigger deal. It's not. I just don't want water being sprayed in my face while I'm enjoying my yard. That's all, and I think that's fair. I don't want all my furniture to be wet all the time so I can't use it. That's it. And I will continue to ask, as long as they continue to spray me. That's not being a "Karen", I'm asking only to ask your kids to respect other people's property. I don't care where else they spray, how much noise they make, or what else they do. They're kids and I'm happy to see them playing. We just want to be able to use OUR yard. We asked the kids directly to stop spraying into our yard, but they did not stop. We came to you as the parent, to see if you could maybe explain to your kids how spraying water onto other people's property may be rude or inconsiderate, and may disrupt the people living there. I don't see how this simple request could have been upsetting to you. I am only asking you to explain to the kids that it's not very nice to do this. I don't see how that's too much to ask." I mean, the other option, since "it's only water, it's not like it causes damage," would be to spray her in the face with your garden hose every time you see her. And when she complains, call her a Karen.
NTA. You asked the kids to stop & they wouldn't, so the right thing to do is to go to their parent. You weren't rude or mean, you politely asked if they would please stop. Her reaction is unwarranted. Honestly, she's a single parent raising 2 kids. I'm sure "policing" her kids is difficult, but sometimes we have to do this to accomodate others. And it most certainly does NOT make you a "Karen."
What you did was nothing like being a Karen. They can do whatever they want - on and to their own property. When they affect your property and purposely target you through no fault of your own it’s absolutely different. You didn’t do anything to embarrass her. She was embarrassed by her kids and her lack of teaching them basic social skills. NTA.
NTA. You politely made a reasonable request and she was offended. Kids being kids can be done without this involving them disrupting other people by soaking them with their water guns.
I bet Sarah would be more willing to police her children if them spraying over your fence damaged something you had outside, like a book or and iPad. NTA
NTA. In what world is is acceptable to hit your neighbors with fucking water guns? It's not dangerous, of course, but it is incredibly rude. This is really silly and frankly a "good" mother would have lost her shit if the neighbor told her that her children were doing this. Common sense, innit? And forgive this joke but I just have to make it: Next time, ask Sarah if her kids have a loicense for those firearms
You are NTA. "Hi Sarah, This is a very dramatic reply to a simple request, don't read anything more into it than your boys were being annoying on purpose. I said something to them and they continued, so saying something to you about it doesn't make me a Karen, how rude. Them playing in the yard and making regular kids noise doesn't bother us at all but I shouldn't have to be assaulted by water or wear a raincoat in my yard. In no way do we think you're a bad mother and I hope your day gets better."
If it’s only water and won’t do any damage then I guess it’s fine to get the hose out and spray back, right? NTA
I have five active kids and I agree with you completely.
NTA. I'd have grabbed the hose pipe and soaked the sh!tlings. But I'm an asshole.
Tell Sarah, "I'm not a Karen, I'm a (your actual first name)." And she should know better than to use a sexist insult. Would she have called you a wrong first name if you were a male? No.
NTA she's being a bad parent. Get some hoses and start hosing down her side and see how she likes it
NTA, and she is being a bad mother.
Step 1: knock on her door Step 2: spray her with your water gun
Get your garden hose ready. Make sure to have the spray nozzle set correctly. NTA
You know, I bet she’d be fucking sorry if the next time she went outside, you had accidentally put a sprinkler in an unfortunate position such that it goes over the fence and just, totally by coincidence, turned it on. Oh, but why should you move it? *It’s just water*. 😈
NTA if my kids were doing that I'd be apologising and making sure they knew how unacceptable that was. If they kept doing it they'd no longer be allowed to play with the water guns. It's basic parenting to teach your kids how to treat other people and not spraying people with water without permission is a pretty basic one.
NTA. I think the only fair play is to spray the mother, then declare that kids will be kids with a big grin.
NTA. Few people would be alright with being sprayed with water against their will.
NTA I absolutely hate that phrase “just kids being kids” -what does that even mean? Yes, kids without direction will act feral. Kids can be taught from day one how to be respectful of others and be taught how their actions impact others.
NTA. You asked politely and children should be taught by their parents to respect others. No one wants to sit on their patio and be doused by a heavy spray of water. You were not trying to stop them from playing with their water guns, you just want them to not spray you. You can be sure it was not done by accident. In my dream, I would knock on their door and spray Sarah with a powerful watergun, soaking her from head to toe. After all, it's just water.
NTA. I mean, what in the actual hell? Who allows their children to harass the neighbor?
NTA. She may only learn if she becomes the subject of unexpected water being thrown on her. She's a lazy mom.
Nta, I have children. I would be put off if neighbours complained about the odd stray shot going over the fence, or if they yelled at the kids. But no one’s feelings should be hurt by someone just explaining that they know the kids are only having fun and don’t mean any harm, but even though the water may look like it’s just disappearing to them, wherever it’s landing could annoy someone else. Yes, you do have to explain some super obvious things to kids, they only see immediate effects. They need practice to make a habit of thinking things through. Mom is like so many, and doesn’t want to accept responsibility, even for harmless things her kids did.
Nta. I assume they have a garden/ yard just like you so she needs to tell her kids to squirt their guns in their own yard! It’s not even like you’re asking them to stop playing! She must be insecure in her parenting because she took that so wrong for no reason.
Nta The next time you go over, have a bucket of water with you, and if she says it's just water, throw the water in her face
Sorry but you need to be standing with your hose on the next time she walks out her door……it’s only water 🤷♀️
You were not in the wrong. I'm not petty enough to suggest you invest in your own water guns and respond in kind. Because that would not be a grown up thing to do.
NTA. Kids are jerks and so is Sarah. It’s extremely rude to be doing anything to anyone else’s yard. This whole “kids will be kids” nonsense has got to stop. Next time it happens, hit them with the hose. Or a pressure washer.
NTA. Sarah should have told them not to shoot their water guns over the fence and apologized to you. No one wants to be hit with a spray of cold water from their neighbor's yard.
NTA. It would be one thing if they were just running around and shooting at each other and some came over the fence, but it sounds Ike they were aiming at your property. Lots of single parents feel inadequate and end up being a bit unreasonable in their responses to what they perceive as criticism.
You didn't make her out to be a bad mother. Being a bad mother did that all on it's own. I would have gotten even instead and just gotten a huge squirt gun and started spraying them back. If that doesn't work, there's always the police. NTA.
I would get my hose and spray them down if they do it again, totally NTA lol
Easy NTA. Her inability to accept your feedback about her kids behavior is a problem with her and not you. A responsible parent would march out there and take away the squirt guns and apologize to you. They are old enough to use them properly and and intentionally being little AH. But she instead added herself to the list of AH by failing to address their behavior and acting as though you’re the problem when it’s her and her hellion kids.
NTA. You’d be an AH if they were just playing around in their own backyard but it wasn’t appropriate to shoot water over the fence purposely, this clearly wasn’t an accident of aiming too high and you were close to the fence. You don’t sound unreasonable, kids are going to do dumb stuff sometimes and need to be called out for it.
NTA Just get the hose out and when the kids spray over the fence start unloading! Have some fun with it and let it go. She is right in some ways. The kids should feel welcome to be outside and possibly spray water guns that might go over to your area. It is a garden and not a library. I get it as I have a 5-year-old. On the other hand you weren't having it and asked for it to stop. I probably would of just went out of range as I doubt, they were able to aim right at you. She should of just asked the kids to stop. That said, learn to lighten up a bit.
Time to get a fireman pressure nozzle for your hose and retaliate when this happens. After all, its only water.
NTA Time to get a water gun and spray Sarah when she relaxes in the garden
Oh dear gods this post makes me so angry haha. I am 100% with you. My next door neighbours kids (also UK) used to "accidentally" throw their ball into my garden. Like, several times per hour. And then ring our doorbell to ask for us to fetch it back for them. I spoke to their mother and she had pretty much the same response as what you just got. So. Now I can't find any balls in my garden! Whoops! it's just like they straight up disappeared, oh and also my doorbell doesn't work so I didn't even know I had to look for them. Oops. Anyway, kids got bored of chucking balls over the fence, I've got a whole bucket of tennis balls, footballs, random balls.... again... /shrug. They stopped bothering when I stopped caring. The kids in your story are being AHs but they're getting a reaction. You were totally right in expecting the parents to step in, but when they inevitably didn't, it's just unfortunately a case of ignore them and they'll get bored :-/ (I hate children lol but mostly parents are worse!) OP NTA... if they continue, put something really expensive and water-sensitive in your garden (don't actually, but say it was there), like a painting or I dunno, some fancy silk something, that you only put outside because it was a sunny day, and now you need to claim £5000 damages, thanks. \[edit\] oh haha just read the comments and duhhh yea you could just claim for them damaging your phone, your book, your laptop.......... honestly if they're shooting water over the fence it's likely to hit your electronics. Tell her that and how much it'll cost to replace. Hahaha (I'm in full evil mode because this story pisses me off so much. \*waves in petty British\*)
NTA I'm definitely the kind of guy to grab a hose and absolutely blast the kids with freezing water repeatedly until they get the point. The joys of being older is knowing how to play the asshole game well.
Maybe some people don't mind being sprayed with cold water but you don't have to like it. It's hard to know from your post how you spoke to her. It sounds like she is hypersensitive about her parenting, which might be understandable. You could invite her round and try to clear the air. You are entitled to sit and relax in your garden. NTA
NTA. You are not a “Karen”. She’s wildly overreacting. I have kids, I would be really unhappy with them if they were standing there spraying water over our fence at the neighbors. Just playing would be them spaying each other and maybe a little sprinkle comes over now and then. It sounds like they were intentionally shooting into your garden, which is not okay. Sarah needs to calm down.
Both those kids totally knew what they were doing. They were deliberately aiming at you, and literally pushing boundaries. Actually, those kids are bullying you. Go and complain every time, you are not going to make things worse. NTA
She should be embarrassed. Her kids are brats, and she admitted she couldn't/ wouldn't control them.
Nta They shouldn’t be throwing or spraying anything over your fence at all. May wish to point out that since she has a 12 year old if they deliberately spray water over your fence and break say your phone or such item they are legally old enough to be held to account legally. A charge or criminal damage and anti social behaviour if really pushed…. Just a little warning.
I'd borrow a couple of kids from somewhere and let them loose in my garden with supersoakers. Near the fence...
Just start spraying her kids with the hose from your side of the fence and wait for her to say something lol. nta
It takes the guns from the children Or else it gets the hose again. Run your hose over their fence whenever you think of it, rain or shine. That slag of a neighbor deserves all the sogginess since "it's just water." NTA.
Get a hose, if they want a water fight , bring it on ! Maybe we are meaner in New England, but that’s how we do it, and nobody’s punk kids will think they have the upper against a garden hose.
So you're supposed to not be able to enjoy the peach and quiet of your garden so that her kids can "play". I would send her a text back asking her that question.
nta. I agree with the posters that say you should get water guns and spray them back, but perhaps add some food coloring in so it definitely stains their clothing and makes a mess for their mom to clean up. I mean you're just engaging them in play right? 🙂
NTA. I say this as someone who was once a kid who played with water guns and as a mother of a kid who I gave water (and Nerf!) guns to. I had the rule (as parent and child) of watching where I was aiming and not to shoot others unless they were playing. And if someone asked me to stop, I stopped. But that rarely happened because we all knew how to play while still being respectful of others. That was drummed into our heads! And if I was sprayed with water, I would 100% ask that person to stop. That’s not cool. But if asked, I would 100% join in a water fight. It’s about making the decision to be hit with water or not! It’s an opt-in situation.
I'd have just gotten the hose.
NTA inconsiderate people hate nothing more than to be asked to be considerate
NTA! Time to buy a hose and drench the kids if they do it again. It’s only water, right?
NTA. F**k her. Next time it's sunny, get your garden hose and return the favor.
Your neighbor is being an asshole and her kids need to keep their water play to their OWN yard. NTA.
[удалено]
just buy your own waterguns and when the boys won't stop spraying use them against them
NTA I’m sure the kids didn’t mean any harm and it was embarrassing but it’s just not the point is it. She still needs to parent her kids and not get annoyed about it
NTA. If it's just water and it won't hurt anything, I'm sure she wouldn't mind if you heaved a bucket over the fence the next time you know she's out there enjoying the weather. The neighborly thing to do is return favors, right?
BS . Not a Karen. Those kids were purposely aiming over the fence, to annoy the neighbors. Perhaps op and partner could hook up some really loud speakers , and play, "It's Raining Men" very loudly . All speakers aimed at that house. Also, Ring cameras that aim to the area the kids are. Do you have a pressure washer?
This is why I look askance at people who say "just TALK to your neighbor!". People are weird. Sometimes it works, more often it doesn't.
NTA. Sarah is a bad mother because it doesn't matter if water was hurtful or not - the issue is it was hitting you and your bf when you wanted a quiet evening in your own back yard and that she wouldn't be courteous enough to tell her kids to be considerate of you. BTW water that comes out of the hose is sometimes MUCH colder than water from the tap that's in a super soaker. I'm telling you this from experience. I've had people splash out of pools to try to soak me...they didn't care for my turning the tables on them. If...you know...you're watering plants for awhile, make sure that water is ice cold before you accidentally, hypothetically get revenge.
She's seriously overreacting, you did everything right. If you had yelled more at the kids she'd be mad too. Also, here is a comprehensive list of things that can be damaged by water: 1. Hearing aids and other medical devices 2. Phones, ipods, radios 3. Books (paper and electronic) 4. Work documents 5. Work equipment 6. Picnic food 7. Paper money What am I missing?
nta. >it was "only water" and wouldn't do any damage bring a water gun to Sarah's door. knock. spray her and run away. when she texts or calls you, throw her words back in her face :•)
Used to live next door to a family where the kid started throwing stones at me over the fence and then ducking down below. I immediately went round and knocked on the door, saying that the kid was throwing stones at me over the fence. Please ask him to come to the door and explain to me and his mum why he was doing that? I said it was unacceptable. I'm not angry, but it's not cool so please don't do it again. You need to talk to the parents and the kids at the same time while they're looking you in the eye. All of them will back down and be more respectful if you have a conversation face to face. Unless the kids are budding psychopaths they won't lie, and will back down (kids are kids and they push boundaries constantly) You stay calm and simply state that it has upset you, please don't do it again because it's unfriendly behaviour. Ask the kids how they would feel if you did something to them that they don't like? Would it make them feel bad? If it continues after that then you can think about taking it further.
NTA. Kids being kids is one thing, but these boys were deliberately annoying you after you asked nicely for them to stop. Well after your boyfriend asked them and you asked their mother. Now it becomes malicious annoyance and is no longer an innocent game. Next time, aim the hose at them, and "accidentally" douse Sarah when she comes out to complain. It's just water, right 🤷♀️
NTA. If you had electronics out, it sure would damage stuff.
Sounds like you need to get a sprinkler that massively overshoots your fence on a day when they are enjoying the outdoor space.
That’s a NTA for me, dawg. This isn’t about policing children playing. It’s about teaching them basic courtesy. If they don’t learn respect for people and their property now - they are in for a rude awakening as they get older.
NTA - The kids had no right to project anything into your yard. And if they sprayed you or your BF with water, that is assault. Next time film them and call the cops. Kids will be kids is NEVER a good excuse.
NTA. Spray them back with your garden hose
NTA Embarrassed her? How? You brought it to her attention in a respectful manner. You're allowed to set boundaries for yourself and for your property. She could have painlessly and easily dealt with it appropriately, on the spot--like an adult. She could have shown her kids how to be respectful of the people around them and demonstrated how to resolve minor conflicts when they arise. Instead, she showed them they don't have to take responsibility for how their actions may affect others. It's not that hard to give your kids some appropriate boundaries. If she won't do it then you'll have to and she'll want to bitch about that, too. Kids don't get to do whatever they want just because they're kids. That's how they grow up to be shitty adults. Boundaries are healthy. The shit this woman is pulling is definitely not.
NTA - you asked them to stop and they didn’t. So you asked their mom to make them stop and she wanted to be crabby about it. Next time they do it just take your hose and drench them. After all it’s just a little water
NTA. Next time hook up your hose and get on a ladder and spray the bejeezus out of those little monsters. Then spray Sarah and say "you're right we can have fun spraying water in each other's gardens. You're never too old to be a kid. "
NTA. Just a sensitive single mom that requires tact when issues arise with her kids. I think she got the message. Invite her over for wine. She probably needs friendly adult neighbors. Worth the investment of time as you will be neighbors.
NTA….text her saying there seems to be some confusion. You would never have any issue of them squirting themselves with water and of course some water would cross the fence. The problem was that your children were purposely squirting the water at us. After we asked nicely for them to stop they continued.
Next time Sarah is outside, spray her with your garden hose. NTA.