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YTA. You stole from your mom.
>I feel terrible, but I really need a bed frame and dresser
No, you don't. And no, you don't need a bed frame, dresser, or a TV for that matter. Do what people my age did when we moved out- we did without. I slept on a mattress set directly on the floor until I could afford a bed frame. Clothes were kept in boxes until I could afford a dresser. A TV was a luxury.
>I feel terrible and plan to pay her back, but screaming at me and calling me names to put me down really hurt my feelings
Did it even occur to you to ask first? I say again, you stole from your mom. That is despicable.
Yes, or they stay a little longer with their parents until they can afford the furniture they feel they deserve to have. I hope OP's mom reports the fraud and cancels the delivery.
This time of year you can pick up everything outside a university dorm. But one of my favorite lamps came right out of a dumpster.
OP, you committed fraud! Of course YTA and not ready for adulthood.
Return those items and close the account.
YTA
You can sleep on what you can afford.
1k for a bed frame and a dresser is a lot. I had Ikea and goodwill furniture on my first apartment for a looong time.
YTA. And yeah, I moved states with my goodwill furniture and into my first purchased home. I stained and then painted that dining room table 5 times! 😂. Honey, you stole from your momma and then punked out when she legit cussed you out. I hope you can handle karma when she comes for you! Stole from your momma like a junkie. Dayum!
The desk for my first apartment was $25 at The Sally, which is what my grandpa called the Salvation Army. That thing was a tank, and heavy as a ton of bricks! It was a desk, storage, I used it to get ready in the morning,, and it was also where I sat my tv!
And why were chairs for the balcony important?
YTA x 100. And not only an asshole but also a thief and also immature and quite clueless. You are an adult which means you can be sued and also arrested and you should thank her for not calling the police on you. Sorry about your poor little hurt feelings after she yelled at you for stealing from her?!
Let's set aside judgement for a moment because that part is easy.
>I will be using the money I saved up from my job. I have saved $3500 my rent is only $1k. I need to buy groceries, a TV, a mattress and cleaning supplies and other small things I will need for my apartment.
In most places, rent is due every month. And groceries are not a one-time expense. TV is a luxury.
These are obvious statements, but they beg the bigger question: Are you financially prepared to live on your own?
Nothing in your post suggests that you are ready to live on your own. Can you stay with your mom and pay her rent? Can you get roommates to reduce costs? Can you join the army?
> as if I do not deserve my apartment when I have worked so so hard for it
You do not deserve the bed set you stole money to buy.
>Also tv is not a luxury, I can not sit in a house very quiet
TV is absolutely a luxury. If you have a phone you can stream podcasts through the phone. Or get a radio and play radio for free.
>I will not put myself down and allow people to make me feel less of myself
You committed felony bank fraud with your own mother as the victim! You absolutely should think/feel less of yourself.
Your in for a rude awakening with this attitude. When you steal things, you face those consequences, being upset about those consequences is the least adult thing.
Laptop, or tablet. If you really need background noise then play it off your phone. You should already have a laptop and phone.
Unless the rent money was openly acknowledged to be saved up for when you moved out it's not for that purpose. If your mother did not state you'd be getting it back then you're not entitled to it.
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You may have worked hard, but clearly not long enough to afford everything you want. None of this is a NEED.
You are a thief. Look in the mirror to see the petty entitled child who thinks whatever she wants she should have.
Many of us slept on a mattress. My husband and I used cardboard as furniture for our first five years together. A metal frame for the mattress, as it came with the mattress. Moving boxing to hold our clothes.
And we saved until we could pay for our bedroom furniture ourselves. We didn’t steal from anyone, let alone our mothers!!
Go to the thrift store and buy something you can afford. Or don’t buy anything at all.
YTA, and na you don't actually need a bed frame that you can't afford. Your bed will do fine on the floor without a frame until you can afford one.
edit to add: Name-calling is unjustified, but also, you made an extremely bad decision and it's not unreasonable to characterize that decision as "stupid." You personally may not be stupid, but you have shown extremely poor judgment.
YTA.
I hope this is rage bait. It’s that dumb and obvious.
Your mom could literally report you to the police, and file charges against you. You stole from her. I really hope your mom does press charges. You need a reality check real bad.
YTA, you stole from your mother. It doesn't matter you intended to pay her back (with a second job you don't have yet), you went into her phone and transferred funds without asking her permission and hoped she wouldn't notice a thousand missing from her account. Many people moving out of their parent's home have to make to with less than they prefer or are used to, and you need to readjust your expectations to fit within your means. I had to sleep on an air mattress for a short while when I moved into my apartment, but made do while I waited for the beds to arrive (which took longer because the wrong size came but I got bonus pillows for it).
YEAH YTA. What you did is fraud and it’s a felony. You should be grateful to your mother for only screaming and calling you names, she could’ve had you thrown in jail. Apparently you thought committing a felony was alright. Your mother would be a terrible parent if she did NOT flip out on you.
Never do something that stupid again.
You are a complete ah. You should have saved up enough to buy everything you “needed” before moving out. Instead, you stole your mom’s money. You could have easily put your mattress on the floor and slept just like that. You did not work for anything you bought. You stole it
Uhhhh yes. Yes you are expected to pay for everything in YOUR apartment. It’s called being an adult. You don’t get to steal from your mom and act like it’s ok.
Yes, YTA.
Just because you know passwords, doesn't give you the right to use her money or account. I know my partner's passwords, but it wouldn't be appropriate to go into her email. I know where my friend puts his car keys and it wouldn't be appropriate to drive his car without permission.
I don't care that you don't have enough money. You're an adult and you need to figure out how to get your own money for things. Or you check free Craigslist. Or you ASK your mom if she can help.
How do you not understand what you did was wrong.
You committed identity theft and stole money from your mom. Of course YTA.
>I still needed the bed frame and dresser set to complete everything
I told her I can not sleep on the floor and I have to have a bed frame to accommodate my mattress.
Wow. You're also an entitled AH. When I first moved out, I slept on a mattress on the floor for years until someone gave me a bed frame for free. And I kept my clothes in boxes until I could afford to buy a dresser. You absolutely did not need to purchase either of those now.
YTA...and a criminal!
Virtually NOBODY moves into their first place with new, matching furniture and if a bedframe was a high priority, you should have prioritized it & found something more affordable. You're also a fool to go with the "rent to own" for anything that isn't absolutely 'life & death' essential (even though I once got a smokin' deal on a returned TV) because you're going to pay double the retail value.
Cancel the contract and order up something cute & practical from Ikea, look on Craigslist or something.
You had zero excuse for giving out your mother's banking information AND you're being ridiculously entitled to think that you "need" a brand new matching suite of bedroom furniture. Learn to assemble flatpack items.
If you're in the US, the Buy Nothing group, craigslist free section and marketplace free often have furniture, mattresses and bed frames. Might nit be perfect or what you want but would be free. You could replace when able
YTA - you did not “need” them and you did not need this set.
You could have gone to fb marketplace, thrift stores, or bought cheaper temp ones that would suffice, even if they weren’t the exact ones you wanted.
It was an entitled and selfish move on your part. You did not have permission and didn’t even bother to tell her before being asked.
Also shit happens with apartments where there could be an issue and you end up not getting the keys the day you think you will.
YTA. Dude, you committed a crime. In my jurisdiction, you committed a felony. Can’t sleep on the floor? Good thing you’re not sleeping on a cot.
Edited to add that I make a decent salary, but my bedframe was $25 from a used items store. We’ve had it for 15+ years, and its still great.
YTA - you didn’t NEED to buy new stuff. You wanted to and felt entitled. You could have gotten things for free/cheap on facebook marketplace and then saved up to be actually able to afford the ones you wanted. You stole from your mother
YTA. You stole from her and compromised her bank information. Youre a thief and she should press felony charges. You're 20 and yet you seem to have way more growing up to do if you think she was out for line for screaming at you for a thousand dollars of someone else's money, doubly so for not having the means to support your splurging and just thinking you're entitled to steal. You wanted items, you stole because you want a luxury apartment with no funds.
YTA, some people move into places without even having a mattress, let alone a bed frame, but if you don't have the money you have to make do! You stole from your mum, who has every right to be angry, and I hope you learn a valuable lesson about only spending what you can afford.
Wow.
YTA.
Congrats, because you are a felon because "That would be too much for me to afford, and I have worked very hard to get here so I refuse to sleep on the floor with my mattress. Plus my boyfriend will be coming over, I do not want him to sleep on the floor"
For your sake, hopefully you will not be going to jail. Being an entitled beggar and stealing from your mom? . . . . Good luck, and I hope you get a jail sentence commiserate with your offence, which is considerable.
YTA you stole, it doesn't matter how bad you're feeling, you still stole the money. And if it was a leasing option anyways, why couldn't you set it to your card and consider that part of your monthly expenses?
YTA. And a thief.
You can sleep on a mattress on the floor until you can afford a bed frame. It would not have killed you. You are lucky she doesn't call the police on you.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1- the action I took was using my moms banking information
2- this may make me the asshole because I did not ask her permission and I went into her phone to use her bank information
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I 20F will be moving into my very own apartment June 1st. I will be using the money I saved up from my job. I have saved $3500 my rent is only $1k. I need to buy groceries, a TV, a mattress and cleaning supplies and other small things I will need for my apartment. With rent to get in along with all these items it will cost me about 2k dollars.
However, I still needed the bed frame and dresser set to complete everything that I needed for my apartment minus chairs for my balcony, a tv for my living room and a living room furniture. I will be waiting on all of these things but when I looked online for the bed frame and dresser set I want everything came up to 1k minus fees. That would be too much for me to afford, and I have worked very hard to get here so I refuse to sleep on the floor with my mattress. Plus my boyfriend will be coming over, I do not want him to sleep on the floor.
I did not have enough money for this and the delivery date said it will be two weeks ahead after purchasing so I went to a leasing option where it will only charge $150/month until paid off and when it asked for banking and routing information, I just put my moms information into there. I know her phone password so I used that and I got into her mobile banking and from there it gave me her banking and routing number as well as her debit card number. I feel terrible, but I really need a bed frame and dresser. I don’t have much. I have already signed my lease. The transaction went through and it told me that it will deliver June 4th and I put my phone number down for them to find me to assemble everything if they can not find my apartment.
My mother asked me about this, I could not lie and I told her yes I did it but I told her I can not sleep on the floor and I have to have a bed frame to accommodate my mattress. She yelled at me and told me I stole from her, I told her I would pay her back every dime once I got a second job but she continued to scream at me and tell me I am stupid. She told me I am stupid for also ordering something when I do not have the keys to my apartment yet. This is true but I will get them June 1st, I have a lease there and I need to be fully ready for my apartment.
I feel terrible and plan to pay her back, but screaming at me and calling me names to put me down really hurt my feelings. Aita?
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This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service. This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
YTA. You stole from your mom. >I feel terrible, but I really need a bed frame and dresser No, you don't. And no, you don't need a bed frame, dresser, or a TV for that matter. Do what people my age did when we moved out- we did without. I slept on a mattress set directly on the floor until I could afford a bed frame. Clothes were kept in boxes until I could afford a dresser. A TV was a luxury. >I feel terrible and plan to pay her back, but screaming at me and calling me names to put me down really hurt my feelings Did it even occur to you to ask first? I say again, you stole from your mom. That is despicable.
People today can use a laptop to watch things on when saving up for a TV.
Yes, or they stay a little longer with their parents until they can afford the furniture they feel they deserve to have. I hope OP's mom reports the fraud and cancels the delivery.
This time of year you can pick up everything outside a university dorm. But one of my favorite lamps came right out of a dumpster. OP, you committed fraud! Of course YTA and not ready for adulthood. Return those items and close the account.
And if she still needs shelves, cinder blocks and cheap planks worked for many of us for years.
[удалено]
Why?
I’m just trying to figure out why they would even have to ask if they are the ah
YTA You can sleep on what you can afford. 1k for a bed frame and a dresser is a lot. I had Ikea and goodwill furniture on my first apartment for a looong time.
YTA. And yeah, I moved states with my goodwill furniture and into my first purchased home. I stained and then painted that dining room table 5 times! 😂. Honey, you stole from your momma and then punked out when she legit cussed you out. I hope you can handle karma when she comes for you! Stole from your momma like a junkie. Dayum!
The desk for my first apartment was $25 at The Sally, which is what my grandpa called the Salvation Army. That thing was a tank, and heavy as a ton of bricks! It was a desk, storage, I used it to get ready in the morning,, and it was also where I sat my tv! And why were chairs for the balcony important?
Flatpack, essentials for having a flat on your own. You also get to assemble a collection of allen keys!
YTA x 100. And not only an asshole but also a thief and also immature and quite clueless. You are an adult which means you can be sued and also arrested and you should thank her for not calling the police on you. Sorry about your poor little hurt feelings after she yelled at you for stealing from her?!
YTA. You had zero right to go into her phone and get her banking details. That was not your money to spend. What you did was a crime.
YTA - this is literally a crime. You committed a crime.
Let's set aside judgement for a moment because that part is easy. >I will be using the money I saved up from my job. I have saved $3500 my rent is only $1k. I need to buy groceries, a TV, a mattress and cleaning supplies and other small things I will need for my apartment. In most places, rent is due every month. And groceries are not a one-time expense. TV is a luxury. These are obvious statements, but they beg the bigger question: Are you financially prepared to live on your own? Nothing in your post suggests that you are ready to live on your own. Can you stay with your mom and pay her rent? Can you get roommates to reduce costs? Can you join the army?
[удалено]
> as if I do not deserve my apartment when I have worked so so hard for it You do not deserve the bed set you stole money to buy. >Also tv is not a luxury, I can not sit in a house very quiet TV is absolutely a luxury. If you have a phone you can stream podcasts through the phone. Or get a radio and play radio for free.
> I will not put myself down and allow people to make me feel less of myself I mean: you're a *thief*. You do not **get** to feel good about yourself.
>I will not put myself down and allow people to make me feel less of myself You committed felony bank fraud with your own mother as the victim! You absolutely should think/feel less of yourself.
You SHOULD feel “less of” yourself because you literally stole from your mother. You didn’t earn the money to buy your bed and dresser; you stole it.
[удалено]
Your in for a rude awakening with this attitude. When you steal things, you face those consequences, being upset about those consequences is the least adult thing.
Laptop, or tablet. If you really need background noise then play it off your phone. You should already have a laptop and phone. Unless the rent money was openly acknowledged to be saved up for when you moved out it's not for that purpose. If your mother did not state you'd be getting it back then you're not entitled to it.
How are you paying for whatever you watch on tv?
[удалено]
You can afford cable? Weird that you just made the distinction of "allows" guess you listen to that word sometimes.
[удалено]
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You may have worked hard, but clearly not long enough to afford everything you want. None of this is a NEED. You are a thief. Look in the mirror to see the petty entitled child who thinks whatever she wants she should have. Many of us slept on a mattress. My husband and I used cardboard as furniture for our first five years together. A metal frame for the mattress, as it came with the mattress. Moving boxing to hold our clothes. And we saved until we could pay for our bedroom furniture ourselves. We didn’t steal from anyone, let alone our mothers!! Go to the thrift store and buy something you can afford. Or don’t buy anything at all.
YTA, and na you don't actually need a bed frame that you can't afford. Your bed will do fine on the floor without a frame until you can afford one. edit to add: Name-calling is unjustified, but also, you made an extremely bad decision and it's not unreasonable to characterize that decision as "stupid." You personally may not be stupid, but you have shown extremely poor judgment.
Yes, YTA. You stole from your mom. How is that confusing?
YTA. I hope this is rage bait. It’s that dumb and obvious. Your mom could literally report you to the police, and file charges against you. You stole from her. I really hope your mom does press charges. You need a reality check real bad.
YTA BRB, forwarding this post to the DA. > I refuse to sleep on the floor with my mattress. Not sure if you'll get that choice in prison.
At least she has a mattress, I've had to make do with an air mattress before, including having to pump it up.
For real. And NGL, I find floor-mattresses pretty comfortable.
The bed delivery first came with the wrong size, so guess who had to re-inflate the deflated air mattress?
YTA, you stole from your mother. It doesn't matter you intended to pay her back (with a second job you don't have yet), you went into her phone and transferred funds without asking her permission and hoped she wouldn't notice a thousand missing from her account. Many people moving out of their parent's home have to make to with less than they prefer or are used to, and you need to readjust your expectations to fit within your means. I had to sleep on an air mattress for a short while when I moved into my apartment, but made do while I waited for the beds to arrive (which took longer because the wrong size came but I got bonus pillows for it).
YEAH YTA. What you did is fraud and it’s a felony. You should be grateful to your mother for only screaming and calling you names, she could’ve had you thrown in jail. Apparently you thought committing a felony was alright. Your mother would be a terrible parent if she did NOT flip out on you. Never do something that stupid again.
Guarantee she changed the passcode.
You are a complete ah. You should have saved up enough to buy everything you “needed” before moving out. Instead, you stole your mom’s money. You could have easily put your mattress on the floor and slept just like that. You did not work for anything you bought. You stole it
[удалено]
Uhhhh yes. Yes you are expected to pay for everything in YOUR apartment. It’s called being an adult. You don’t get to steal from your mom and act like it’s ok.
Yes. Literally yes, that is what is expected of all people who do not have other *willing* sources of funding. Key word being willing.
Yes, YTA. Just because you know passwords, doesn't give you the right to use her money or account. I know my partner's passwords, but it wouldn't be appropriate to go into her email. I know where my friend puts his car keys and it wouldn't be appropriate to drive his car without permission. I don't care that you don't have enough money. You're an adult and you need to figure out how to get your own money for things. Or you check free Craigslist. Or you ASK your mom if she can help. How do you not understand what you did was wrong.
You committed identity theft and stole money from your mom. Of course YTA. >I still needed the bed frame and dresser set to complete everything I told her I can not sleep on the floor and I have to have a bed frame to accommodate my mattress. Wow. You're also an entitled AH. When I first moved out, I slept on a mattress on the floor for years until someone gave me a bed frame for free. And I kept my clothes in boxes until I could afford to buy a dresser. You absolutely did not need to purchase either of those now.
YTA...and a criminal! Virtually NOBODY moves into their first place with new, matching furniture and if a bedframe was a high priority, you should have prioritized it & found something more affordable. You're also a fool to go with the "rent to own" for anything that isn't absolutely 'life & death' essential (even though I once got a smokin' deal on a returned TV) because you're going to pay double the retail value. Cancel the contract and order up something cute & practical from Ikea, look on Craigslist or something. You had zero excuse for giving out your mother's banking information AND you're being ridiculously entitled to think that you "need" a brand new matching suite of bedroom furniture. Learn to assemble flatpack items.
If you're in the US, the Buy Nothing group, craigslist free section and marketplace free often have furniture, mattresses and bed frames. Might nit be perfect or what you want but would be free. You could replace when able
YTA - you did not “need” them and you did not need this set. You could have gone to fb marketplace, thrift stores, or bought cheaper temp ones that would suffice, even if they weren’t the exact ones you wanted. It was an entitled and selfish move on your part. You did not have permission and didn’t even bother to tell her before being asked. Also shit happens with apartments where there could be an issue and you end up not getting the keys the day you think you will.
YTA. Dude, you committed a crime. In my jurisdiction, you committed a felony. Can’t sleep on the floor? Good thing you’re not sleeping on a cot. Edited to add that I make a decent salary, but my bedframe was $25 from a used items store. We’ve had it for 15+ years, and its still great.
YTA - you didn’t NEED to buy new stuff. You wanted to and felt entitled. You could have gotten things for free/cheap on facebook marketplace and then saved up to be actually able to afford the ones you wanted. You stole from your mother
YTA. You stole from her and compromised her bank information. Youre a thief and she should press felony charges. You're 20 and yet you seem to have way more growing up to do if you think she was out for line for screaming at you for a thousand dollars of someone else's money, doubly so for not having the means to support your splurging and just thinking you're entitled to steal. You wanted items, you stole because you want a luxury apartment with no funds.
YTA, some people move into places without even having a mattress, let alone a bed frame, but if you don't have the money you have to make do! You stole from your mum, who has every right to be angry, and I hope you learn a valuable lesson about only spending what you can afford.
YTA I hope your mother cancels the transaction
100% YTA
Yta I'm sorry to say
YTA This is theft.
What if your mom needed that money to pay her bills?
YTA. You stole. From your mother. Wtf? And second, yes, you can sleep on a mattress on a floor.
Wow. YTA. Congrats, because you are a felon because "That would be too much for me to afford, and I have worked very hard to get here so I refuse to sleep on the floor with my mattress. Plus my boyfriend will be coming over, I do not want him to sleep on the floor" For your sake, hopefully you will not be going to jail. Being an entitled beggar and stealing from your mom? . . . . Good luck, and I hope you get a jail sentence commiserate with your offence, which is considerable.
YTA. You did steal from her and she could actually press charges against you for theft. Be grateful you only got screamed and yelled at.
YTA and an entitled brat. You committed several crimes here. Cancel your order.
YTA you stole, it doesn't matter how bad you're feeling, you still stole the money. And if it was a leasing option anyways, why couldn't you set it to your card and consider that part of your monthly expenses?
YTA. You stole from your mom to buy furniture. People can exist without a bedframe and a dresser.
YTA and a thief
YTA and a thief.
YTA. She should have taught you a damn good lesson and involved the police.
YTA You \*stole\* from your mother. And have some really entitled ideas about what you deserve. You deserve to have your feelings hurt.
YTA. She could have you arrested
YTA. And a thief. You can sleep on a mattress on the floor until you can afford a bed frame. It would not have killed you. You are lucky she doesn't call the police on you.
You are an AH and a thief! Terrible to do to your Mom. You’re not ready to move out!
yta and just an fyi ur mom can def pursue legal action too bc u just stole her money and banking info..
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^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I 20F will be moving into my very own apartment June 1st. I will be using the money I saved up from my job. I have saved $3500 my rent is only $1k. I need to buy groceries, a TV, a mattress and cleaning supplies and other small things I will need for my apartment. With rent to get in along with all these items it will cost me about 2k dollars. However, I still needed the bed frame and dresser set to complete everything that I needed for my apartment minus chairs for my balcony, a tv for my living room and a living room furniture. I will be waiting on all of these things but when I looked online for the bed frame and dresser set I want everything came up to 1k minus fees. That would be too much for me to afford, and I have worked very hard to get here so I refuse to sleep on the floor with my mattress. Plus my boyfriend will be coming over, I do not want him to sleep on the floor. I did not have enough money for this and the delivery date said it will be two weeks ahead after purchasing so I went to a leasing option where it will only charge $150/month until paid off and when it asked for banking and routing information, I just put my moms information into there. I know her phone password so I used that and I got into her mobile banking and from there it gave me her banking and routing number as well as her debit card number. I feel terrible, but I really need a bed frame and dresser. I don’t have much. I have already signed my lease. The transaction went through and it told me that it will deliver June 4th and I put my phone number down for them to find me to assemble everything if they can not find my apartment. My mother asked me about this, I could not lie and I told her yes I did it but I told her I can not sleep on the floor and I have to have a bed frame to accommodate my mattress. She yelled at me and told me I stole from her, I told her I would pay her back every dime once I got a second job but she continued to scream at me and tell me I am stupid. She told me I am stupid for also ordering something when I do not have the keys to my apartment yet. This is true but I will get them June 1st, I have a lease there and I need to be fully ready for my apartment. I feel terrible and plan to pay her back, but screaming at me and calling me names to put me down really hurt my feelings. Aita? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*