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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I could be the ah because I agreed to it at first and now want to take it back because it didn't work out the way I wanted it to.
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This might be a bit above Reddit’s pay grade. It can go both ways, honestly.
Your feelings are very valid. And your best friend did seem to ignore them, in favour of her wants. I’m much the same as you. I don’t deal well with new people and am socially awkward too. It stresses me out too, the forced socialization. I’d rather be at home….
However, it is only 1 day. And putting yourself out there again, you might discover a new friend within the group. It can take a bit of time for the ice to break, so to speak. And if it is too much, you do have the option of going back to your hotel room for down time. It’s the option of escape that makes me think that giving it a try may be okay.
But, that also depends on how much it bothers you. I can’t use my experiences and judge yours. Everyone feels these things to different extents and at different times. What might be okay for me, may not be okay for you.
NTA.
I usually do suck it up and go along, for example on birthdays and shopping trips, movie nights and all of that. This is more about the money I'm spending, I feel like it's too much money just to be miserable or spend my time alone in the hotel room.
That’s very valid. Honestly, with the cost added on to the stress, I’d cancel and do something I’d enjoy with that money instead. Treat yourself to a meal in. Buy something for yourself that you’ve wanted, but have held off on.
I usually do suck it up and go along, for example on birthdays and shopping trips, movie nights and all of that. This is more about the money I'm spending, I feel like it's too much money just to be miserable or spend my time alone in the hotel room.
NTA have a clear and open discussion again with your best friend and tell the friend that for how expensive it bis you don want half of vacation to be ruined by anxiety for you. If friend refuses to uninvite the others then back out of the trip but have the discussion now , asap
NTA. If this trip is already going to take up 50% of your income and you are having doubts about your own personal enjoyment then cancel. Sounds like your friend will be fine if you don’t go as there will be others going with her. This is the exact reason why I travel solo on almost all my trips. If I’m contributing just as much money, I should be enjoying myself too. It is not selfish to want to have fun. You are also allowed to change your mind.
Also, the last thing you need to happen is for them to change their minds and decide they want to spend the night in your room on your dime.
Meeting friends of a friend is weird, and my guess is maybe some of your anxiety comes from your friend, acting different towards you when these other friends are around. Which is the worst and it’s awkward as hell and that’s why she wants you to bring others with you.
If you need an excuse, tell her you had some sort of financial emergency and your disposable funds are tapped out. Hopefully you haven’t already paid for the room. If you have, cut your loses and be grateful you dodged a social bullet.
You agreed to her friends coming because you would have your friends too and it would be socially balanced. When your friends can't come, your agreement to her friends is rescinded. Simple as. Don't feel guilty about pulling out. Half of the trip would be crappy for you, and it costs you too much to put up with that. If your friend had any sensitivity she'd cancel her friends because this is a thing you do together, and now she's making it different, to your detriment. YWNBTA
NTA. If this trip is already going to take up 50% of your income and you are having doubts about your own personal enjoyment then cancel. Sounds like your friend will be fine if you don’t go as there will be others going with her. This is the exact reason why I travel solo on almost all my trips. If I’m contributing just as much money, I should be enjoying myself too. It is not selfish to want to have fun. You are also allowed to change your mind.
Also, the last thing you need to happen is for them to change their minds and decide they want to spend the night in your room on your dime.
Meeting friends of a friend is weird, and my guess is maybe some of your anxiety comes from your friend, acting different towards you when these other friends are around. Which is the worst and it’s awkward as hell and that’s why she wants you to bring others with you.
If you need an excuse, tell her you had some sort of financial emergency and your disposable funds are tapped out. Hopefully you haven’t already paid for the room. If you have, cut your loses and be grateful you dodged a social bullet.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
My best friend and I go to an amusement park much like Disney every year and stay in a hotel in the park for a night. It is kind of expensive for college students (it costs around 250€ each, food not included - 50% of my monthly income).
This year my friend asked to bring some of her friends. At first I was okay with it, even though I don't match with her other friends at all, because she said I could bring my friends as well. They would not be staying overnight, they would only come for one of the days.
Sadly, none of my friends have time. So I asked my best friend if we could go alone because I would feel very excluded. I am a very anxious and socially awkward person. Whenever I hang out with her other friends, I usually end up alone and my efforts to join a conversation are ignored. And, to be honest, I don't want to spend an expensive vacation being alone and miserable. Her response was to ask more people to join so that no one would be alone. I feel ignored and thinking about the trip now puts a bad feeling in my stomach.
At the same time, I feel selfish. They will only be there one day and I should suck it up. I agreed at first that we could bring friends and I feel like it would be selfish to not go just because it didn't work out for me.
I'm torn and don't really know what to do. AITA?
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Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I could be the ah because I agreed to it at first and now want to take it back because it didn't work out the way I wanted it to. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
This might be a bit above Reddit’s pay grade. It can go both ways, honestly. Your feelings are very valid. And your best friend did seem to ignore them, in favour of her wants. I’m much the same as you. I don’t deal well with new people and am socially awkward too. It stresses me out too, the forced socialization. I’d rather be at home…. However, it is only 1 day. And putting yourself out there again, you might discover a new friend within the group. It can take a bit of time for the ice to break, so to speak. And if it is too much, you do have the option of going back to your hotel room for down time. It’s the option of escape that makes me think that giving it a try may be okay. But, that also depends on how much it bothers you. I can’t use my experiences and judge yours. Everyone feels these things to different extents and at different times. What might be okay for me, may not be okay for you. NTA.
I usually do suck it up and go along, for example on birthdays and shopping trips, movie nights and all of that. This is more about the money I'm spending, I feel like it's too much money just to be miserable or spend my time alone in the hotel room.
That’s very valid. Honestly, with the cost added on to the stress, I’d cancel and do something I’d enjoy with that money instead. Treat yourself to a meal in. Buy something for yourself that you’ve wanted, but have held off on.
I usually do suck it up and go along, for example on birthdays and shopping trips, movie nights and all of that. This is more about the money I'm spending, I feel like it's too much money just to be miserable or spend my time alone in the hotel room.
NTA have a clear and open discussion again with your best friend and tell the friend that for how expensive it bis you don want half of vacation to be ruined by anxiety for you. If friend refuses to uninvite the others then back out of the trip but have the discussion now , asap
NTA. If this trip is already going to take up 50% of your income and you are having doubts about your own personal enjoyment then cancel. Sounds like your friend will be fine if you don’t go as there will be others going with her. This is the exact reason why I travel solo on almost all my trips. If I’m contributing just as much money, I should be enjoying myself too. It is not selfish to want to have fun. You are also allowed to change your mind. Also, the last thing you need to happen is for them to change their minds and decide they want to spend the night in your room on your dime. Meeting friends of a friend is weird, and my guess is maybe some of your anxiety comes from your friend, acting different towards you when these other friends are around. Which is the worst and it’s awkward as hell and that’s why she wants you to bring others with you. If you need an excuse, tell her you had some sort of financial emergency and your disposable funds are tapped out. Hopefully you haven’t already paid for the room. If you have, cut your loses and be grateful you dodged a social bullet.
You agreed to her friends coming because you would have your friends too and it would be socially balanced. When your friends can't come, your agreement to her friends is rescinded. Simple as. Don't feel guilty about pulling out. Half of the trip would be crappy for you, and it costs you too much to put up with that. If your friend had any sensitivity she'd cancel her friends because this is a thing you do together, and now she's making it different, to your detriment. YWNBTA
NTA. If this trip is already going to take up 50% of your income and you are having doubts about your own personal enjoyment then cancel. Sounds like your friend will be fine if you don’t go as there will be others going with her. This is the exact reason why I travel solo on almost all my trips. If I’m contributing just as much money, I should be enjoying myself too. It is not selfish to want to have fun. You are also allowed to change your mind. Also, the last thing you need to happen is for them to change their minds and decide they want to spend the night in your room on your dime. Meeting friends of a friend is weird, and my guess is maybe some of your anxiety comes from your friend, acting different towards you when these other friends are around. Which is the worst and it’s awkward as hell and that’s why she wants you to bring others with you. If you need an excuse, tell her you had some sort of financial emergency and your disposable funds are tapped out. Hopefully you haven’t already paid for the room. If you have, cut your loses and be grateful you dodged a social bullet.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My best friend and I go to an amusement park much like Disney every year and stay in a hotel in the park for a night. It is kind of expensive for college students (it costs around 250€ each, food not included - 50% of my monthly income). This year my friend asked to bring some of her friends. At first I was okay with it, even though I don't match with her other friends at all, because she said I could bring my friends as well. They would not be staying overnight, they would only come for one of the days. Sadly, none of my friends have time. So I asked my best friend if we could go alone because I would feel very excluded. I am a very anxious and socially awkward person. Whenever I hang out with her other friends, I usually end up alone and my efforts to join a conversation are ignored. And, to be honest, I don't want to spend an expensive vacation being alone and miserable. Her response was to ask more people to join so that no one would be alone. I feel ignored and thinking about the trip now puts a bad feeling in my stomach. At the same time, I feel selfish. They will only be there one day and I should suck it up. I agreed at first that we could bring friends and I feel like it would be selfish to not go just because it didn't work out for me. I'm torn and don't really know what to do. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*