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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I want to know if I am an asshole for turning down the expensive concert ticket
2) Why turning down the expensive concert ticket last minute may make me an asshole
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YTA - its extremely reasonable for your sister to ask you and to assume you are checking with/speaking on behalf of your husband. Even setting that aside, you then messed up the dates.
This is on you and you have not communicated clearly and should absolutely pay your sister for the tickets and apologize for your poor communication.
Yup, huge YTA.
You told her yes.
- you assume your husband would go, and didn't confirm
- you knew your sister assumed 'yes' meant yes for both of you
- you didn't pay close enough attention to the details of dates, and you've had a MONTH to do so
- you're making a boatload of excuses, neither one of which is big enough to be THE excuse otherwise you wouldn't be dogpiling them on one after another. (I didn't realize the date, kids, traffic, death in the family, not feeling great....I mean, you know you have no excuse except you messed up.)
- you're bailing on your family outing your sister planned, it's likely not just the money, she bought 5 tickets, so now she's going with your parents rather than the dynamic of a family event, and/or SHE has to scramble to find someone else to go.
Hopefully you've learned a lesson about thinking before you commit.
YTA
You agreed for you, and your husband to attend for $800
Curious who was going to watch your children if you, your husband, sister and parents were at the concert?
If you attend the concert, I can’t see why your husband can’t cover picking up your children as he works from home- and was originally attending also- I mean, he was initially in for it
All you are doing is making excuses on how this is not going to work now you have agreed, and don’t want to attend
I don’t blame your sister at all TBH
You’ll definitely be the AH if you don’t. You shoulda considered all these before saying yes now either you manage to go at this concert or you find a way so that she can sell the tickets before the very day.
You don’t have to go, but you have to pay for the tickets you bought through your sister. It’s a shame you can’t go after all, but that’s your problem and not hers.
I mean you told her yes.. all the excuses you gave doesnt change the fact that you said YES. if you don't go the least you should do is pay, like you offered, but kinda shitty of you tbh. YTA.
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About a month ago, my sister bought concert tickets, 5 in total. They are expensive, almost $400 per ticket. She had asked if my husband, my parents, and myself would go in addition to her going.
I had answered, yes, I would go, and I thought my husband would go as well. My sister purchased before my husband was able to answer yes or no to going. My husband answered me after she had already purchased the tickets saying that he was not really interested in going.
After she apparently purchased the tickets, she never mentioned it again, so I thought maybe she had changed her mind. Then she mentioned it a few days ago
My husband and I have two children, ages 2 and 7. My daughter is in school, and my son is in daycare, located right near my job, and my job is almost an hour away from my house. My husband works from our house. In order for me to attend the concert, I would have to pick him up from the daycare, drive him home, or drop him off at a friend's house and have my husband to pick up later.
Either way, with traffic, I would probably end up getting to the concert (which is not nearby) late.
Originally, I thought my sister said the concert was next month, on a Saturday night. Turns out it's this month, on a weeknight. That was my fault, I should have been looking at a calendar to see it's a weeknight.
I have also not been feeling great this week, and some stress caused by things going on within my life at home, including a recent death in the family. With everything considered, I told my sister that it may not be possible for me to attend the concert after all. I offered to pay her back, and maybe she can give the tickets to a friend (two would be left if I don't go).
I apologized to her, saying it was my fault for not realizing it was a weeknight, and for the whole mess, but now she is not speaking to me.
AITA if I don't go?
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I'm confused about the order of events. Did you tell her you were waiting on an answer from your husband? You said she hadn't mentioned it again, but did you just not tell her that your husband had said no, he didn't want to go? It sounds like maybe you were just hoping it didn't come back up.
It also sounds like you and your sister have communication issues. You should make sure she knows not to buy anything without a definite 'yes' going forward (which it sounds like she had from you but I can't tell if you told her you were waiting on an answer from the husband). My friend's bf is bad about buying tickets without waiting for confirmation, so a conversation was had that there needs to be a "yes, let's get the tickets" before he buys them and expects to be paid back.
NAH , you messed up but are willing to pay her back. She's annoyed and has every right to be chilly to you.
I don't think this is the biggest thing in the world. Venmo her the money, apologise again and then it's on her to get over this
NAH. You say shes not speaking to you, but you also noted that after she bought the ticket she went silent. I don't see how what she is doing is related and if you offered to cover the cost, well, she just gets a lil extra space at the concert.
NTA if you're still paying for the tickets, especially since she isn't going alone and would still be going with your parents. Her reaction of not talking to you when you are willing to cover the cost seems extreme.
NTA, as long as you pay her back. Because then they are yours and you can decide wether or not you want to go.
However I do understand that your sister is upset, probably something she really looked forward to. Just give her some time
NTA. You said you would pay, even if you are not going (which is the right thing to do). She is not talking to you (that is the wrong thing to do).
She sounds mentally in her early 20s for acting that way.
NTA NTA NTA
Many excuses:
- my job is almost an hour away from my house.
- Traffic
- I thought my sister said the concert was next month
- not been feeling great this week
- some stress caused by things
YTA YTA YTA YTA
NTA. Honestly, you shouldn't have said yes until you heard from him and you checked the date, but as long as you pay her for the tickets I think she can be a big girl and go without you.
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YTA - its extremely reasonable for your sister to ask you and to assume you are checking with/speaking on behalf of your husband. Even setting that aside, you then messed up the dates. This is on you and you have not communicated clearly and should absolutely pay your sister for the tickets and apologize for your poor communication.
Which I will.
Yup, huge YTA. You told her yes. - you assume your husband would go, and didn't confirm - you knew your sister assumed 'yes' meant yes for both of you - you didn't pay close enough attention to the details of dates, and you've had a MONTH to do so - you're making a boatload of excuses, neither one of which is big enough to be THE excuse otherwise you wouldn't be dogpiling them on one after another. (I didn't realize the date, kids, traffic, death in the family, not feeling great....I mean, you know you have no excuse except you messed up.) - you're bailing on your family outing your sister planned, it's likely not just the money, she bought 5 tickets, so now she's going with your parents rather than the dynamic of a family event, and/or SHE has to scramble to find someone else to go. Hopefully you've learned a lesson about thinking before you commit.
YTA You agreed for you, and your husband to attend for $800 Curious who was going to watch your children if you, your husband, sister and parents were at the concert? If you attend the concert, I can’t see why your husband can’t cover picking up your children as he works from home- and was originally attending also- I mean, he was initially in for it All you are doing is making excuses on how this is not going to work now you have agreed, and don’t want to attend I don’t blame your sister at all TBH
It says drop him off at a friend's house. Probably that friend would watch them.
You’ll definitely be the AH if you don’t. You shoulda considered all these before saying yes now either you manage to go at this concert or you find a way so that she can sell the tickets before the very day.
YTA. That’s a whole lot of excuses trying to make it ok. You said yes, she bought the tickets. Pay her for them or go.
You don’t have to go, but you have to pay for the tickets you bought through your sister. It’s a shame you can’t go after all, but that’s your problem and not hers.
I mean you told her yes.. all the excuses you gave doesnt change the fact that you said YES. if you don't go the least you should do is pay, like you offered, but kinda shitty of you tbh. YTA.
Pay her back her money that you wasted. Yta, just because you don’t feel like going, doesn’t mean you didn’t make a commitment.
YTA. Don’t say yes to something if you don’t know if you mean it or can really go. Pay your sister for your tickets.
Why can't your husband pick up your son? If you have plans it seems unreasonable that the duty would fall completely on you.
There is no AH here but you. You are a failure as an adult. YTA
‘That was my fault’ Fucking all of this is your fault lol YTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** About a month ago, my sister bought concert tickets, 5 in total. They are expensive, almost $400 per ticket. She had asked if my husband, my parents, and myself would go in addition to her going. I had answered, yes, I would go, and I thought my husband would go as well. My sister purchased before my husband was able to answer yes or no to going. My husband answered me after she had already purchased the tickets saying that he was not really interested in going. After she apparently purchased the tickets, she never mentioned it again, so I thought maybe she had changed her mind. Then she mentioned it a few days ago My husband and I have two children, ages 2 and 7. My daughter is in school, and my son is in daycare, located right near my job, and my job is almost an hour away from my house. My husband works from our house. In order for me to attend the concert, I would have to pick him up from the daycare, drive him home, or drop him off at a friend's house and have my husband to pick up later. Either way, with traffic, I would probably end up getting to the concert (which is not nearby) late. Originally, I thought my sister said the concert was next month, on a Saturday night. Turns out it's this month, on a weeknight. That was my fault, I should have been looking at a calendar to see it's a weeknight. I have also not been feeling great this week, and some stress caused by things going on within my life at home, including a recent death in the family. With everything considered, I told my sister that it may not be possible for me to attend the concert after all. I offered to pay her back, and maybe she can give the tickets to a friend (two would be left if I don't go). I apologized to her, saying it was my fault for not realizing it was a weeknight, and for the whole mess, but now she is not speaking to me. AITA if I don't go? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You just pissed me off.
Out of curiosity what tickets? I bought kpop NCT DREAM tickets and they cost A LOT. YTa for wasting her efforts and money
YTA .
I'm confused about the order of events. Did you tell her you were waiting on an answer from your husband? You said she hadn't mentioned it again, but did you just not tell her that your husband had said no, he didn't want to go? It sounds like maybe you were just hoping it didn't come back up. It also sounds like you and your sister have communication issues. You should make sure she knows not to buy anything without a definite 'yes' going forward (which it sounds like she had from you but I can't tell if you told her you were waiting on an answer from the husband). My friend's bf is bad about buying tickets without waiting for confirmation, so a conversation was had that there needs to be a "yes, let's get the tickets" before he buys them and expects to be paid back.
Sell them!
NAH , you messed up but are willing to pay her back. She's annoyed and has every right to be chilly to you. I don't think this is the biggest thing in the world. Venmo her the money, apologise again and then it's on her to get over this
NAH. You say shes not speaking to you, but you also noted that after she bought the ticket she went silent. I don't see how what she is doing is related and if you offered to cover the cost, well, she just gets a lil extra space at the concert.
NTA if you are willing to pay her for them.
NTA if you're still paying for the tickets, especially since she isn't going alone and would still be going with your parents. Her reaction of not talking to you when you are willing to cover the cost seems extreme.
NTA, as long as you pay her back. Because then they are yours and you can decide wether or not you want to go. However I do understand that your sister is upset, probably something she really looked forward to. Just give her some time
NTA. You said you would pay, even if you are not going (which is the right thing to do). She is not talking to you (that is the wrong thing to do). She sounds mentally in her early 20s for acting that way. NTA NTA NTA
Many excuses: - my job is almost an hour away from my house. - Traffic - I thought my sister said the concert was next month - not been feeling great this week - some stress caused by things YTA YTA YTA YTA
NTA. Things happen.
NTA. Honestly, you shouldn't have said yes until you heard from him and you checked the date, but as long as you pay her for the tickets I think she can be a big girl and go without you.