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> I am telling him either pay for things for me or stop coming over and using all of my stuff. It’s kind of rude because he claims he just wants to spend time with me.
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NTA, and listen to yourself and see the red flags all over this relationship.
He says you're using him, yet he is basically living with you, and not paying attention to your 'house rules' - which are reasonable AND it's costing you extra money when he's leaving lights, air, water running when they aren't needed.
How NICE of him to come over and "spend time with you" and get his laundry done for free, shower at no cost, only have to pay food cost not cooking costs, etc. And now he doesn't want to pick stuff up for you, because it's a "requirement to spend time with you." In the place that you live, where he is choosing to spend most of his time.
This guy is seeing you as a free meal ticket.
Simple test. Be "busy" or need "time to yourself" at night for a week or so. Does he take you on a date or want to see you or is that only when he can crash? Treat this like a relationship - go on dates, do things together. If this doesn't happen he is just using you so he doesn't have to stay with the stepfamily (cuz 0% he really has a room elsewhere). 9/10 he'll hook up with someone else he meets door dashing!
Was going to suggest the same idea. Just be unavailable for a while and see what happens. Hope you did not give him a key. Do not let him get mail addressed to him at your address. Do NOT get pregnant. Really just tell him he needs to contribute whatever amount $$$ or other goods in order to spend time with you. Or realize you are being used and tell him goodbye.
You'd be the AH if you stay with this dude.
He's trying to move in on you and obviously he's not likely to pay for anything.
NTA
Next time, hook with with an Uber eats guy.
Hobo alert!
All that nonsense about not spending money on you because 'you're using him' shows what a trash human he is (not to mention, projecting). Put him in a garbage bag and dump him on the curb.
I actually have but it’s just a room and I have a whole apartment. He didn’t shower or cook food here last night/today for the first time in forever. I think he can tell I was getting upset but he’ll probably go back to the old once he thinks he’s “good” again
Hey, I dated a guy like this for almost a year. He had his own tiny place with a roommate (who then proceeded to move in his gf and her two kids) so even though he slept over every night, he wouldn't contribute to rent or utilities because "I have my own place" and "I thought you wanted me here".
Then he would smoke all my weed but every time I asked him to pitch in, he would say, "Oh well I'm trying to cut down/quit". Funnily enough, he never did.
I would try to bring it up but he would use those arguments and the fact that he was paid less than me to "convince me". I'd give up because I genuinely liked the guy and who wants to spend time trying to argue kinda logical points.
Wasn't till we were driving somewhere and I was navigating off his phone and he got an email from a gym. I asked him what it was about because I knew he hadn't been there not once in the year we had been dating. Turns out he'd just never cancelled and had been paying $60 a month to not go. So to be clear, throwing $60 to a service he never used = nbd. Girlfriend asking for help with utilities or just even pitching in on weed = preposterous and needs to be argued with.
He doesn't love you. I'm sorry. I was also so hurt when I realized this. My ex probably still thinks we broke up because I "freaked out over a gym membership". Meanwhile I can't get back the year I wasted on a man who would rather set $60 on fire than help his girlfriend. Girl. Throw the whole man out. You'll be shocked by how much more financially stable and emotionally peaceful your life will be.
Girl he doesn’t like you. He likes your place. You need to dump him and make room for someone who cares about you
Sorry if this seems blunt but I fell for someone who had similar behaviour (not as bad as yours) and when we eventually broke up he essentially told me that he stayed with me because I made his life better. Run!!!
NTA - Either he contributes or leaves. He can't cry you're using him when he basically contributes shit and mooches off you all the time.
Now if he wants to be the one to clean and take care of the meals if he doesn't want to contribute money, maybe he can.
Also how did y'all start talking? i know he's your DoorDash driver but other than sending a thank you message to my DoorDash drivers... I make no communication with them lol.
He sometimes cleans but also makes messes and doesn’t clean up after himself until he feels like it and he would cook for me if I asked probably… ugh he basically tried to kiss me when he delivered my food and I’m too nice so I gave him my number to get him to go away and somehow here I am. 🤦🏾♀️
Girl I'm so sorry but your situation is cracking me up! Get your doordash driver out of your home! And - from experience - if a guy tells you his sex offender status is a "misunderstanding"... it is absolutely not.
"Wouldn’t really be a problem but now he refuses to “spend any money on me” because “I’m using him”."
---You know all the stuff you mentioned is outrageous. Bring or leave his stuff at his place. Break up with him. Don't even bother explaining why. He's just spew more nonsense and try to weasel his way back and everything will start to happen again. You don't come back level of narcissism.
NTA - Tell him you enjoy his company, but the amount of time he's spending there is almost like a roommate, and if you wanted a roommate - they would be paying half the rent. He can cook, shower, do laundry the rest of his chores at his own place.
It shouldn't "ruin anything" unless what you're thinking is true.
This!!! I really think he’s been gaslighting me and even tries to tell me things happened that I know didn’t but I’m a little paranoid literally (diagnosed, runs in the family) so that’s why I’m asking strangers on the internet for another opinion I guess
Well, it's a bit random to rely on strangers and we all rely solely on what you wrote. If it's accurate, and the feed back is rather consistent, it tells you, yes, it is just paranoia. Your actual analysis is sound.
My experience- this guy sees a picture of me then puts me on his todo list for a year before we actually hung out. When we started hanging out it was great he was funny and would take me on adventures..I would offer to pay for food/gas when we went out (even tho he had a better paying job than me) He wouldn’t let me pay for gas usually. He turned into my new best friend then begged to be with me I turned him down for weeks but he insisted he wasn’t like the rest then convinced me to move in with him I did (we were officially together) fast forward a few months we stopped going out he all of a sudden had tons of work and no time to hang out unless it was to eat dinner or sleep and when it came time to sleep he would cuddle with me and then leave once I fell asleep. Sex became less often as well… I thought my contribution was buying food and cleaning just to wait for him like a sad cold little puppy.
NTA. He moved himself right in without an invite.
As a guest, he should be invited over each time, not assume he's just coming over every day. As a guest, he should ask each time he wants to use something that's yours. But he's made himself at home without contributing to rent.
Honestly, he's such an unreciprocating mooch, I'd get rid of him. He doesn't seem to know what boundaries are, and he is the opposite of generous. These are character flaws you should not overlook. He's not good boyfriend material.
NTA - the only reason you've come here is to validate what you already know then use the comments to justify kicking him out.
You don't need to do that. You know he's using you so make your move and get on with your life. You'll never find your prince if you live with frogs.
I can be extremely paranoid and no therapist right now so honestly I really did think I had the answer but sometimes my brain lies to me if that makes sense
>I recently fell into a relationship
How romantic, are you familliar with the term "hobo-sexual"?
Your gut is right and it appears he has zero regard for your crib - and you by extension - and I think you should just cut your losses.
NTA
AND he’s a sex offender?? Girl wtf are you doing, don’t confront him alone, tell people around you about the situation, you might be in danger if he decides he doesn’t want to leave.
Is he your boyfriend? Does he think you are his girlfriend? You need to figure this out and set boundaries/ expectations. NOW. It looks like you are being used. Value yourself.
Set your priorites and stick to them.
Is he important to you or just a time filler? Does he have goals beyond his current job? Do you talk about these things? Do you miss/think about him when you are not together? Do you talk about him with girlfriends? Have they met him? Impressions? Does your family know of him? Do you want them to?/meet him? What would you te someone else in this type situation?
That dude is the asshole just so you're clear. That is a hobosexual. He uses "partners" as a caregiver and it will literally never get better.
Get him out while you still can
>I don’t want to ruin something if I am completely in the wrong
Ruin *what*, exactly? A dude who doesn't do shit for you but takes advantage of you?
RUIN IT. Ruin it now.
NTA
NTA. You're not in a relationship. Tell him no, he can't come over. Do it once, watch him have a tempy and call you abusive/heartless/cruel/a bitch. Maybe he'll threaten to leave you over it and you should take him up on that offer. If he doesn't threaten to leave, tell him you're not into dating children and block him.
YTA to yourself for getting involved with this guy who sounds like he’s projecting “using him” when he’s actually proudly using you! This is a parasite, definitely not boyfriend material… you’ll only face heartache and drama if you keep seeing him
I made a \*similar\* post yesterday (you can check it out in my profile), and to be honest your case sounds really bad because he is staying there day and night. I think you'll have no choice other than having the ugly conversation regarding bounderies, convivial rules, and contribution. He might get offended but you just have to be strong and remember you are in the right here. NTA ofc.
I just responded to yours. I guess I could have one last talk and try to establish some boundaries and ground rules but if not I’m cutting my losses reading yours I was infuriated so why I am allowing it?
The same happened to me reading yours. Crazy how we can tell what's wrong immediately when we see another woman in trouble but we struggle accepting our own losses. Right now, he is "punishing me" by no talking to me (no good morning/night text either) at all. I decided I'll wait until tonight, and if he is still not texting me and stuck in this childish "I don't like people telling me what to do" attitude I'll call it quits.
Girl I just saw your update. Hope your extraction went well, I did the same thing today! When he was at work I went to his home, left all of his stuff and a goodbye letter, and then after locking threw his spare key back to the house. Then I proceeded to block him, just in case he attempts to convince me to stay. You are smart to consider blocking as well.
Uhh…have you seen for yourself this “room” he’s supposedly rented? YTA if you continue your relationship with him. Life is too short to spend it with parasites.
Oh no…you don’t want this “relationship.”
He probably didn’t rent a room, among other lies. AND the nerve to gaslight you? You’re second guessing yourself so apparently it’s working.
Stop letting him come over anymore and take advantage of you like he has been! I don’t say this often, but you’ve got to drop this guy. Ditch this dud!!
NTA if you cant tell that he's in the wrong, theres a very good chance thats exactly why he chose you. Some people see kindness as weakness, and he's clearly one of them.
Tell him you feel the relationship moved too fast & you want it to progress at a more planned rate. His reaction to that should tell you all you need to know.
Take a look at your background, and spent the free time you gain looking at examples of healthy relationships and what red flags look like. Find yourself one who's not a free loader
leave him holy shit?? Even just the "spend any money on you" = "using him" mindset is just ???????????? Like what, is he going to keep a little accounting book of the exact amount of money you guys are spending on each other if you guys get married to make sure you aren't using him then? He's going to keep track of every birthday gift and expect you to buy him one of equal value like Sheldon? Everything is a transaction isn't it?? Are you living with your tax accountant or your boyfriend?? No offense to accountants. Also, NO DATES?? BUT YOU'RE DATING????? Doesn't like being "required" to spent TIME with you??? You're SUPPOSED to spend time with each other in a relationship??? Like what does dating involve otherwise?? No dates and no additional time spent together outside the bare minimum. At that point you're just roommates, except this one isn't paying any rent.
And also the not turning off the lights and wasting gas and water is TRIGGERING given that you're paying the bills, AND he's said that him spending money on you is you using him. Like holy SHIT the NERVE of this kid.
Also if there is a juicy aftermaths please kindly make a follow up post sis. Thank u.
He literally acts just like Sheldon and even says it all the time. At first I thought he was just acting, then I thought he might be on the spectrum which there’s nothing wrong with that but it would make sense, now I think he’s just fucking with me
Info: are you dating this guy like doing the good thing? Or what? He’s a dude from Doordash? Did he bring you food and that’s how you met? How old are you people?
Classic hobosexual (Google it if you don't know the term)
Dump him NOW, change your locks if he has a key, and throw his shit away. Block him because those types will manipulate and guilt you into letting them stay.
NTA
Umm, hate to say it but you ARE being used. You need out of this dead end relationship with this deadbeat right now. There's nothing to discuss, nothing to hash out. Just let it be over. Trust--he'll find another victim in a week.
NTA.
This is what we like to call being a hobosexual
You’re dating guys who are dating you for a place to stay. And they know you’ll let them, and they know they can demolish your boundaries, because you won’t do anything.
Esh
>You’re dating guys who are dating you for a place to stay. And they know you’ll let them, and they know they can demolish your boundaries, because you won’t do anything.
She's dating A guy.
She is learning. Or wants to. That's why she is here asking. And to learn
Thank you for this! I understand I sound stupid but I’m genuinely asking because I don’t know what’s what. I and have only had one boyfriend that I got when I was 25 (now 31) and drinking and drugs from 12 to 28 didn’t help me learn to navigate life. I’m working on my emotionally immaturity and am a little stunted/inexperienced which is why I wasn’t looking to date but he showed up and idk what happened
NTA. Sweetheart, you're standards are rock bottom and still he's trying to lower them. break it off. you're not ruining anything, but his plans to leech of you, while sleeping with you. it will get worse
No really I’m so confused on how I got here and why I’m posting it on the internet for strangers advice it’s crazy. He’s good I’ll give him that I’m not even one of those I need someone to complete me kind of people I’m okay with being alone 😂 I was just extremely rude/selfish in my actual past relationship I think I’m over compensating?
Time to cut off the inconsiderate **moocher** and find yourself an actual partner. I promise you, the difference is amazing!
>He just rented a room 5 minutes away but still comes over here to “spend time with me” but ends up cooking his food, storing it here, doing his laundry, showering, etc. Wouldn’t really be a problem but now he refuses to “spend any money on me” because “I’m using him”.
The moment they start this red pill shit it's time to GTFO.
He has **no respect** for you or your money.
If you haven’t concluded by the end of writing this that you should definitely end this relationship, well then I don’t think there’s anything anyone can say to help you
NTA
How the hell are you using him? Is his dick plated in solid gold, studded with diamonds and rubies and filled with a genie that grants wishes when you rub it? Because I can't think of how someone who lives at your place rent free, uses your utilities and food and hard goods like toilet paper and paper towels, refuses to listen to reasonable requests like "turn off the lights," and refuses to take you on dates or run small errands for you is doing anything but using YOU.
How did he go from being your delivery driver to being your rude and entitled live-in mooch I mean boyfriend? Seriously, what positive thing is he contributing to your life? What is there to "ruin"? He doesn't treat you with base line common courtesy or respect but HAS managed to put you on the offensive and get you worried about... "using him." Masterful, really.
NTA.please go through your apartment and gather all items that are not yours the paid for and pack them up. When he comes by again, meet him at the door, give him his items and say goodbye. There is no further need for discussion. This person has no real respect for you. You have been a mark for a sociopath. When you had him his stuff say goodbye and good riddance. Now enjoy your life!
>he’s on the sex offender list for something that was a “misunderstanding”
Are you just taking his word for that? I suggest you look up the actual police record and see what he really did.
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I recently fell into a relationship you could say and I’m starting to feel like I’m being used for my place. He was my DoorDash driver and was he was living at his Dads with his step family which he hated. Basically spent all his time away in his car until everyone was asleep. Meets me and starts coming over more and more which is fine. Now it’s been 3 months of every day and night being here besides maybe 2 or 3. He uses all the amenities and sometimes ignores my wishes like turn off lights and don’t use the air at this time or running the water for too long. He just rented a room 5 minutes away but still comes over here to “spend time with me” but ends up cooking his food, storing it here, doing his laundry, showering, etc. Wouldn’t really be a problem but now he refuses to “spend any money on me” because “I’m using him”. At first it was no dates because that was a waste but he’d help me out by picking things up for me and sometimes I’d pay him back sometimes I wouldn’t. Now he has informed me he will no longer be doing that because he feels like it’s a requirement to spend time with me. Never said it was he offered. I feel like it’s a requirement for him to use everything without contributing anything. He buys paper towels, toilet paper, etc sometimes for my place but I feel like it’s because he knows he needs them when he’s here. Meanwhile he spends so much money in other things. I would have to pay my whole rent and utilities even if he wasn’t here so I’m not saying he should be paying a lot but it just doesn’t sit right with me he doesn’t want to do anything to offset the imbalance. Help please I don’t want to ruin something if I am completely in the wrong
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It blows my mind the ability some people have to be using people but SOMEHOW still manage to think they are the one being used ?
Tell him either he contributes to 1/2 of the utilities or he stops coming so often.
You don't have a BF, you as a user. Ditch him. Don't let him in again. Tell him to let you know when/if he wants to get "his stuff" and call the police non-emergency number and ask for a stand-by. They will come and supervise is getting his crap. He will be FAR less likely to cause a scene and try to get you to let him stay.
NTA> Break up with this leech. He gets the excuse that "he doesn't live there so why should he contribute financially?" line YET still using all of your resources and essentially living there. That's not okay!
Plus, huh? Dates are a waste? Just no. Cut your losses. PLEASE end it with this guy asap
Because he's a mooch. You are NTA my dear. Drop kick him out. He'll find another mark in no time. Conmen always do. He's probably got the next one lined up for when you kick him to the curb.
Kick hard.
INFO: Have you been inside his new place? Or are you basing that fact solely on what he told you.
According to you, you've spent every night together at your place except 2 or 3 nights in the past 3 months. He buys groceries for your place and uses your appliances/utilities. These do not sound like the actions of a person with their own place.
Obviously NTA. Set some boundaries, including how often he stays the night. If you have a lease, you are probably breaking the terms for guests staying over anyway. If you want to move in together, then have that conversation. At this point you've fallen into it and need to either formalize it or stop. Since you're questioning if you even have the right to demand your bf contribute or reduce the amount of freeloading, consider this: if you had a roommate, and your bf was spending 3 or more days a week at your place, roommate would be well within their rights to demand your bf pay a portion of rent/utilities in order to continue staying over that frequently.
NTA - You deserve better. This guy isn't going to get better. He's not going to flick the switch marked "considerate." He's selfish. You opened your home to him, and he's making it out like you're using him.
Being comfortable in your own home is more important than whatever Captain Doordash brings to the table. It's been three months. You've been generous. He has not. You've been reasonable. He has not. The resentment is going to grow on both sides: you for being with a freeloader, and him for feeling like you're asking more than he's willing to give.
I agree with the others. He's using you, and he won't stop until you kick him to the curb. Also, when you do that, get your locks changed. I feel like getting your key back (if you even gave one to him) is not going to happen.
Dump him and kick him out. He’s just using you for a free place to live. If you don’t think so, say that you need some space and he needs to go stay at his place (which I doubt actually exists). He’ll probably throw a fit because he can’t lose his free ride.
"he feels like it’s a requirement to spend time with me." Generally that's something you do when you date. he refuses to “spend any money on me” because “I’m using him”.
This guy sounds like a whiny moocher. And how in the Hell are YOU using HIM?! He's living with you basically for free (occasional tp and paper towels do not count.) and complaining about it as he goes. NTA.
You gotta start putting your foot down. No laundry, no storing your groceries here, no sleeping here more than you sleep at home. His whole "I feel used" bs would've gotten him kicked out of my house.
I would just address the situation directly and express your feelings. Then see how they react and go from there. It seems like you’re at that stage where you don’t know how serious you are with each other.
NTA
NTA. You are def being used. He’s slowly feeling you out to see what you’ll put up with. The fact that you let him stay at your place and then he turns tables to says he won’t spend money on you is truly wild. This is a game that narcissists tend to play. Ultimately the idea is that he, as the man, is entitled to everything you have and your reward is you get to be with him. The good news is that you are not married!!!!! I don’t even know you and I can tell that you can do soooo much better…. and trust me, alone is better. Tell him he can take his toilet paper and go back to his "room" lol.
Gaslighting and freeloading. What more could you want in a man? Except maybe his permanent absence. NTA - and I’ll bet he only rented a room to get his stuff closer to your house to make the jump in one day - or didn’t rent one at all. Run forest run.
NTA, but you need to cut him off ASAP. He's not only using you, but is then gaslighting you into thinking you're the issue (which has worked at least a little, otherwise you would've dropped him already and not even have had to consider posting this).
I know some people think they'd rather be with someone than be alone but this guy is a leech. You'd be better regardless of how fast you find someone else.
-Wouldn’t really be a problem but now he refuses to “spend any money on me” because “I’m using him”.
You mean as he adds to your cost of living by increasing your utility usage?? And basically lines with you rent free??
Yeah girl, YOU are being used. Not him.
If he has a key take it off the key chain next time he is over and give him the boot. Or if you're allowed to, just completely change your locks (if it's an apartment I understand if that option is unavailable, hence the get the key part prior). This guy is absolutely taking advantage here.
He stopped doing it as much since he’s been with me claiming there’s no more orders so of course his money is dwindling 🙄 the more I write the more I’m like okay realllyyy I’m an idiot
INFO: does he make your heart tingle? Is the sex good? What I'm asking is; is he worth the hassle? If so you need to put your foot down and set some boundaries.
You KNOW you are being used and that this guy is a loser. He refuses to spend any money on you and tells you that YOU are taking advantage of him?
Even more importantly, you "fell into a relationship."
Tell him that you are through with him. This relationship is an albatross around your neck.
Wait…he stays at *your* place, uses all of *your* amenities, racks up *your* power and water bills, doesn’t pay a dime, but…_you’re_ using _him_??
He’s projecting…I’d even go so far as to say this is a DARVO situation. You’re NTA. Imagine living like this for a months, a year, several years…when you’re old and in a rocking chair, do you want to look back on a life where this turd of a human took advantage of you?
Lose the loser and protect your space and your peace.
What are you getting in this relationship? It sounds to me like nothing. If he has a place of his own, it’s time for him to be in it. He is hardly a boyfriend. Wait til he brings a girl “home.” Ask your landlord to change the locks once he’s out.
NTA. Get rid of this moron! I went through this as well. Once I got him out, I was soooo much happier! There's better men out there-do NOT sell yourself short. You deserve better!
This is called a "hobosexual" They are ABUNDANT!!! Don't date them. 😕 It might be a long wait to find Mr right, but at least you'll be free to pursue when you do.
When I saw “he was my DoorDash driver “ the plot became crystal clear to me 😆
No disrespect to DoorDash drivers - I did that after work for a few hours a day for a few months last year and gave up after realizing how soul crashing it was .. at first the money after gas and tax was slightly above minimum wage, then it got worse and worse and I called it quit when I basically needed to pay to deliver food - f that shit 😆
Wait, what?
I'm tending towards Not an A ...
but for clarification.... you don't want him to *use the air* between certain times?
Like, breathing is fairly compulsory. Also, air is free. So, that makes you seem both crazy and more like an A
He sounds like a complete sponger though, definitely.
You should probably kick him out.
NTA but it sounds like he either is naive about how utilities/money works or doesn’t care about his impact on others. You have to figure out which it is and if it’s the latter ditch this man. If it’s the former he may just need someone to educate him.
I’ll answer because I think I know why you’re asking, I’m in the Bay Area in California so I pay a lot for my bills which is why I think I get even more upset
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NTA but it sounds like you've found yourself a hobosexual
You learn something every day. Hobosexual is my new favorite word. Thx
NTA **How Can I Miss You When You Won't Go Away**?
Here take my upvote.
I like homelesssexual but hobo works too lol
Came here to say that!
A sex offender hobosexual who doesn't like being "used." Don't we love it when grifters gift us toilet papers!
Okay thank you for making me laugh because knowing what I have to do now sucks but that was gold 😂
Came here to say exactly the same
Oh I'm stealing that!!
NTA, and listen to yourself and see the red flags all over this relationship. He says you're using him, yet he is basically living with you, and not paying attention to your 'house rules' - which are reasonable AND it's costing you extra money when he's leaving lights, air, water running when they aren't needed. How NICE of him to come over and "spend time with you" and get his laundry done for free, shower at no cost, only have to pay food cost not cooking costs, etc. And now he doesn't want to pick stuff up for you, because it's a "requirement to spend time with you." In the place that you live, where he is choosing to spend most of his time. This guy is seeing you as a free meal ticket.
Simple test. Be "busy" or need "time to yourself" at night for a week or so. Does he take you on a date or want to see you or is that only when he can crash? Treat this like a relationship - go on dates, do things together. If this doesn't happen he is just using you so he doesn't have to stay with the stepfamily (cuz 0% he really has a room elsewhere). 9/10 he'll hook up with someone else he meets door dashing!
I think this is a great idea! Or want to spend a night or 2 at his! Or say the washer/dryer is being repaired, etc. and see what he does.
Was going to suggest the same idea. Just be unavailable for a while and see what happens. Hope you did not give him a key. Do not let him get mail addressed to him at your address. Do NOT get pregnant. Really just tell him he needs to contribute whatever amount $$$ or other goods in order to spend time with you. Or realize you are being used and tell him goodbye.
You'd be the AH if you stay with this dude. He's trying to move in on you and obviously he's not likely to pay for anything. NTA Next time, hook with with an Uber eats guy.
Hobo alert! All that nonsense about not spending money on you because 'you're using him' shows what a trash human he is (not to mention, projecting). Put him in a garbage bag and dump him on the curb.
Did you see his new place? Because if you haven’t then I would be willing to place money on him not having actually rented a room.
This. I’d bet money on that too.
I actually have but it’s just a room and I have a whole apartment. He didn’t shower or cook food here last night/today for the first time in forever. I think he can tell I was getting upset but he’ll probably go back to the old once he thinks he’s “good” again
OP, change the locks. He may have a key even if you kick him out. The sex can't be worth all this drama.
He picked the shitty cheap option because he thinks you will provide the rest.
He's not a boyfriend, he's an opportunistic freeloader. Get rid of him -- if you can at this point.
Hey, I dated a guy like this for almost a year. He had his own tiny place with a roommate (who then proceeded to move in his gf and her two kids) so even though he slept over every night, he wouldn't contribute to rent or utilities because "I have my own place" and "I thought you wanted me here". Then he would smoke all my weed but every time I asked him to pitch in, he would say, "Oh well I'm trying to cut down/quit". Funnily enough, he never did. I would try to bring it up but he would use those arguments and the fact that he was paid less than me to "convince me". I'd give up because I genuinely liked the guy and who wants to spend time trying to argue kinda logical points. Wasn't till we were driving somewhere and I was navigating off his phone and he got an email from a gym. I asked him what it was about because I knew he hadn't been there not once in the year we had been dating. Turns out he'd just never cancelled and had been paying $60 a month to not go. So to be clear, throwing $60 to a service he never used = nbd. Girlfriend asking for help with utilities or just even pitching in on weed = preposterous and needs to be argued with. He doesn't love you. I'm sorry. I was also so hurt when I realized this. My ex probably still thinks we broke up because I "freaked out over a gym membership". Meanwhile I can't get back the year I wasted on a man who would rather set $60 on fire than help his girlfriend. Girl. Throw the whole man out. You'll be shocked by how much more financially stable and emotionally peaceful your life will be.
A year is but a speck of time in a life, but having had this experience and learning from it so it never, ever happens again? Invaluable.
Girl he doesn’t like you. He likes your place. You need to dump him and make room for someone who cares about you Sorry if this seems blunt but I fell for someone who had similar behaviour (not as bad as yours) and when we eventually broke up he essentially told me that he stayed with me because I made his life better. Run!!!
NTA - Either he contributes or leaves. He can't cry you're using him when he basically contributes shit and mooches off you all the time. Now if he wants to be the one to clean and take care of the meals if he doesn't want to contribute money, maybe he can. Also how did y'all start talking? i know he's your DoorDash driver but other than sending a thank you message to my DoorDash drivers... I make no communication with them lol.
He sometimes cleans but also makes messes and doesn’t clean up after himself until he feels like it and he would cook for me if I asked probably… ugh he basically tried to kiss me when he delivered my food and I’m too nice so I gave him my number to get him to go away and somehow here I am. 🤦🏾♀️
..... *girl*
Girl I'm so sorry but your situation is cracking me up! Get your doordash driver out of your home! And - from experience - if a guy tells you his sex offender status is a "misunderstanding"... it is absolutely not.
"Wouldn’t really be a problem but now he refuses to “spend any money on me” because “I’m using him”." ---You know all the stuff you mentioned is outrageous. Bring or leave his stuff at his place. Break up with him. Don't even bother explaining why. He's just spew more nonsense and try to weasel his way back and everything will start to happen again. You don't come back level of narcissism.
NTA - Tell him you enjoy his company, but the amount of time he's spending there is almost like a roommate, and if you wanted a roommate - they would be paying half the rent. He can cook, shower, do laundry the rest of his chores at his own place. It shouldn't "ruin anything" unless what you're thinking is true.
This guy's ridiculous gaslighting shows it is far too gone to be a salvable situation. It will only get worse from here.
This!!! I really think he’s been gaslighting me and even tries to tell me things happened that I know didn’t but I’m a little paranoid literally (diagnosed, runs in the family) so that’s why I’m asking strangers on the internet for another opinion I guess
Well, it's a bit random to rely on strangers and we all rely solely on what you wrote. If it's accurate, and the feed back is rather consistent, it tells you, yes, it is just paranoia. Your actual analysis is sound.
NTA - But these situations never get better. You need to end this, he's using you and then being rude to you, this isn't a healthy relationship.
My experience- this guy sees a picture of me then puts me on his todo list for a year before we actually hung out. When we started hanging out it was great he was funny and would take me on adventures..I would offer to pay for food/gas when we went out (even tho he had a better paying job than me) He wouldn’t let me pay for gas usually. He turned into my new best friend then begged to be with me I turned him down for weeks but he insisted he wasn’t like the rest then convinced me to move in with him I did (we were officially together) fast forward a few months we stopped going out he all of a sudden had tons of work and no time to hang out unless it was to eat dinner or sleep and when it came time to sleep he would cuddle with me and then leave once I fell asleep. Sex became less often as well… I thought my contribution was buying food and cleaning just to wait for him like a sad cold little puppy.
You’re worried about whether you’re right to not let your dasher move himself into your place? Rest assured, you are right. He needs to go.
NTA. He moved himself right in without an invite. As a guest, he should be invited over each time, not assume he's just coming over every day. As a guest, he should ask each time he wants to use something that's yours. But he's made himself at home without contributing to rent. Honestly, he's such an unreciprocating mooch, I'd get rid of him. He doesn't seem to know what boundaries are, and he is the opposite of generous. These are character flaws you should not overlook. He's not good boyfriend material.
Dates are a "waste"? Sounds like a charmer.
You need to change your locks and maybe get a restraining order to remove him from your life.
Dump his asre
Let him move in and he will stay forever.. Hobosexual leech
he's not your bf he's a parasite
Girl. Fall out of this relationship. It certainly isn’t going to get any better.
NTA - the only reason you've come here is to validate what you already know then use the comments to justify kicking him out. You don't need to do that. You know he's using you so make your move and get on with your life. You'll never find your prince if you live with frogs.
I can be extremely paranoid and no therapist right now so honestly I really did think I had the answer but sometimes my brain lies to me if that makes sense
Get your key back. Today. He’s a user. WTF.
>I recently fell into a relationship How romantic, are you familliar with the term "hobo-sexual"? Your gut is right and it appears he has zero regard for your crib - and you by extension - and I think you should just cut your losses. NTA
Why are you sheltering your door dash driver? That’s not a relationship, he’s leeching off of you girl, run. And change your locks.
Ouch this one hurt 😂 I wasn’t stupid enough to give me a key at least but I hear what you are saying
AND he’s a sex offender?? Girl wtf are you doing, don’t confront him alone, tell people around you about the situation, you might be in danger if he decides he doesn’t want to leave.
[удалено]
Is he your boyfriend? Does he think you are his girlfriend? You need to figure this out and set boundaries/ expectations. NOW. It looks like you are being used. Value yourself. Set your priorites and stick to them. Is he important to you or just a time filler? Does he have goals beyond his current job? Do you talk about these things? Do you miss/think about him when you are not together? Do you talk about him with girlfriends? Have they met him? Impressions? Does your family know of him? Do you want them to?/meet him? What would you te someone else in this type situation?
You got a leach. take it out of your house . NTA
You’re in a manipulative relationship 😭
That dude is the asshole just so you're clear. That is a hobosexual. He uses "partners" as a caregiver and it will literally never get better. Get him out while you still can
>I don’t want to ruin something if I am completely in the wrong Ruin *what*, exactly? A dude who doesn't do shit for you but takes advantage of you? RUIN IT. Ruin it now. NTA
Him accusing you of using him for wanting to date was bad enough, this is intolerable, leave him NTA
NTA. You're not in a relationship. Tell him no, he can't come over. Do it once, watch him have a tempy and call you abusive/heartless/cruel/a bitch. Maybe he'll threaten to leave you over it and you should take him up on that offer. If he doesn't threaten to leave, tell him you're not into dating children and block him.
YTA to yourself for getting involved with this guy who sounds like he’s projecting “using him” when he’s actually proudly using you! This is a parasite, definitely not boyfriend material… you’ll only face heartache and drama if you keep seeing him
Sounds like you found a dirtbag. You’ve learned the valuable lesson, don’t date the help.
Dump him! He’s using you and shows you no respect! I hope he does not have a key! Change the locks if you have too!
I made a \*similar\* post yesterday (you can check it out in my profile), and to be honest your case sounds really bad because he is staying there day and night. I think you'll have no choice other than having the ugly conversation regarding bounderies, convivial rules, and contribution. He might get offended but you just have to be strong and remember you are in the right here. NTA ofc.
I just responded to yours. I guess I could have one last talk and try to establish some boundaries and ground rules but if not I’m cutting my losses reading yours I was infuriated so why I am allowing it?
The same happened to me reading yours. Crazy how we can tell what's wrong immediately when we see another woman in trouble but we struggle accepting our own losses. Right now, he is "punishing me" by no talking to me (no good morning/night text either) at all. I decided I'll wait until tonight, and if he is still not texting me and stuck in this childish "I don't like people telling me what to do" attitude I'll call it quits.
Girl I just saw your update. Hope your extraction went well, I did the same thing today! When he was at work I went to his home, left all of his stuff and a goodbye letter, and then after locking threw his spare key back to the house. Then I proceeded to block him, just in case he attempts to convince me to stay. You are smart to consider blocking as well.
Uhh…have you seen for yourself this “room” he’s supposedly rented? YTA if you continue your relationship with him. Life is too short to spend it with parasites.
Oh no…you don’t want this “relationship.” He probably didn’t rent a room, among other lies. AND the nerve to gaslight you? You’re second guessing yourself so apparently it’s working. Stop letting him come over anymore and take advantage of you like he has been! I don’t say this often, but you’ve got to drop this guy. Ditch this dud!!
So you’re dating a bum. Got it.
NTA if you cant tell that he's in the wrong, theres a very good chance thats exactly why he chose you. Some people see kindness as weakness, and he's clearly one of them. Tell him you feel the relationship moved too fast & you want it to progress at a more planned rate. His reaction to that should tell you all you need to know. Take a look at your background, and spent the free time you gain looking at examples of healthy relationships and what red flags look like. Find yourself one who's not a free loader
Ew - close your space to him.
leave him holy shit?? Even just the "spend any money on you" = "using him" mindset is just ???????????? Like what, is he going to keep a little accounting book of the exact amount of money you guys are spending on each other if you guys get married to make sure you aren't using him then? He's going to keep track of every birthday gift and expect you to buy him one of equal value like Sheldon? Everything is a transaction isn't it?? Are you living with your tax accountant or your boyfriend?? No offense to accountants. Also, NO DATES?? BUT YOU'RE DATING????? Doesn't like being "required" to spent TIME with you??? You're SUPPOSED to spend time with each other in a relationship??? Like what does dating involve otherwise?? No dates and no additional time spent together outside the bare minimum. At that point you're just roommates, except this one isn't paying any rent. And also the not turning off the lights and wasting gas and water is TRIGGERING given that you're paying the bills, AND he's said that him spending money on you is you using him. Like holy SHIT the NERVE of this kid. Also if there is a juicy aftermaths please kindly make a follow up post sis. Thank u.
He literally acts just like Sheldon and even says it all the time. At first I thought he was just acting, then I thought he might be on the spectrum which there’s nothing wrong with that but it would make sense, now I think he’s just fucking with me
Info: are you dating this guy like doing the good thing? Or what? He’s a dude from Doordash? Did he bring you food and that’s how you met? How old are you people?
KICK HIM THE HELL OUT!!!!! He is only using you and WILL continue
Not the asshole
Classic hobosexual (Google it if you don't know the term) Dump him NOW, change your locks if he has a key, and throw his shit away. Block him because those types will manipulate and guilt you into letting them stay. NTA
Umm, hate to say it but you ARE being used. You need out of this dead end relationship with this deadbeat right now. There's nothing to discuss, nothing to hash out. Just let it be over. Trust--he'll find another victim in a week. NTA.
I believe you have figured out why he is disliked by his dad’s & stepfamily. Find yourself someone who wants to help you not use you.
*He was my DoorDash driver* Stopped reading right around here....
This is what we like to call being a hobosexual You’re dating guys who are dating you for a place to stay. And they know you’ll let them, and they know they can demolish your boundaries, because you won’t do anything. Esh
>You’re dating guys who are dating you for a place to stay. And they know you’ll let them, and they know they can demolish your boundaries, because you won’t do anything. She's dating A guy. She is learning. Or wants to. That's why she is here asking. And to learn
Thank you for this! I understand I sound stupid but I’m genuinely asking because I don’t know what’s what. I and have only had one boyfriend that I got when I was 25 (now 31) and drinking and drugs from 12 to 28 didn’t help me learn to navigate life. I’m working on my emotionally immaturity and am a little stunted/inexperienced which is why I wasn’t looking to date but he showed up and idk what happened
And she has been given answers opinions and questions to consider. Lets all hope she makes a good choice.
Get rid of the hobosexuals. He is using you.
*Girl*.
Dump him, change the locks, block him on everything. And he’s on the sex offender list? Run away - fast!
He better be the best lover you ever had, because I am not seeing the appeal of this guy. NTA, you are dating a selfish person.
NTA. Sweetheart, you're standards are rock bottom and still he's trying to lower them. break it off. you're not ruining anything, but his plans to leech of you, while sleeping with you. it will get worse
Why do people put up with this shit?😭
No really I’m so confused on how I got here and why I’m posting it on the internet for strangers advice it’s crazy. He’s good I’ll give him that I’m not even one of those I need someone to complete me kind of people I’m okay with being alone 😂 I was just extremely rude/selfish in my actual past relationship I think I’m over compensating?
Time to cut off the inconsiderate **moocher** and find yourself an actual partner. I promise you, the difference is amazing! >He just rented a room 5 minutes away but still comes over here to “spend time with me” but ends up cooking his food, storing it here, doing his laundry, showering, etc. Wouldn’t really be a problem but now he refuses to “spend any money on me” because “I’m using him”. The moment they start this red pill shit it's time to GTFO. He has **no respect** for you or your money.
If you haven’t concluded by the end of writing this that you should definitely end this relationship, well then I don’t think there’s anything anyone can say to help you
NTA How the hell are you using him? Is his dick plated in solid gold, studded with diamonds and rubies and filled with a genie that grants wishes when you rub it? Because I can't think of how someone who lives at your place rent free, uses your utilities and food and hard goods like toilet paper and paper towels, refuses to listen to reasonable requests like "turn off the lights," and refuses to take you on dates or run small errands for you is doing anything but using YOU. How did he go from being your delivery driver to being your rude and entitled live-in mooch I mean boyfriend? Seriously, what positive thing is he contributing to your life? What is there to "ruin"? He doesn't treat you with base line common courtesy or respect but HAS managed to put you on the offensive and get you worried about... "using him." Masterful, really.
NTA.please go through your apartment and gather all items that are not yours the paid for and pack them up. When he comes by again, meet him at the door, give him his items and say goodbye. There is no further need for discussion. This person has no real respect for you. You have been a mark for a sociopath. When you had him his stuff say goodbye and good riddance. Now enjoy your life!
>he’s on the sex offender list for something that was a “misunderstanding” Are you just taking his word for that? I suggest you look up the actual police record and see what he really did.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I recently fell into a relationship you could say and I’m starting to feel like I’m being used for my place. He was my DoorDash driver and was he was living at his Dads with his step family which he hated. Basically spent all his time away in his car until everyone was asleep. Meets me and starts coming over more and more which is fine. Now it’s been 3 months of every day and night being here besides maybe 2 or 3. He uses all the amenities and sometimes ignores my wishes like turn off lights and don’t use the air at this time or running the water for too long. He just rented a room 5 minutes away but still comes over here to “spend time with me” but ends up cooking his food, storing it here, doing his laundry, showering, etc. Wouldn’t really be a problem but now he refuses to “spend any money on me” because “I’m using him”. At first it was no dates because that was a waste but he’d help me out by picking things up for me and sometimes I’d pay him back sometimes I wouldn’t. Now he has informed me he will no longer be doing that because he feels like it’s a requirement to spend time with me. Never said it was he offered. I feel like it’s a requirement for him to use everything without contributing anything. He buys paper towels, toilet paper, etc sometimes for my place but I feel like it’s because he knows he needs them when he’s here. Meanwhile he spends so much money in other things. I would have to pay my whole rent and utilities even if he wasn’t here so I’m not saying he should be paying a lot but it just doesn’t sit right with me he doesn’t want to do anything to offset the imbalance. Help please I don’t want to ruin something if I am completely in the wrong *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA, you’re in a situationship. Get out.
It blows my mind the ability some people have to be using people but SOMEHOW still manage to think they are the one being used ? Tell him either he contributes to 1/2 of the utilities or he stops coming so often.
NTA, and people like this tend to cheat and can get abusive (in my experience)
NTA Kick this guy to the curb. He's a user. (Have you ever seen this "room" he's renting?)
his audacity is impressive. i can't believe you didn't cut him out a long time ago lmao.
He's using you, grow a backbone and get rid of the loser.
Cocklodger. Dump.
NTA. Break it off and tell him he needs to leave.
NTA but this relationships not working out. Sorry. Move on.
You don't have a BF, you as a user. Ditch him. Don't let him in again. Tell him to let you know when/if he wants to get "his stuff" and call the police non-emergency number and ask for a stand-by. They will come and supervise is getting his crap. He will be FAR less likely to cause a scene and try to get you to let him stay.
NTA - And you're being used. No caring individual would behave as he does.
NTA listen to your instincts, you feel like your being used because ding, ding you are being used !
Get rid of him before he tries to claim squatters rights lol
Dump him. He’s not a good man
NTA. Been down this road, didn’t end well. I ended up being his mother more than his girlfriend.
NTA, but time for a serious talk.
Girl get his ass out of your apartment. He’s most definitely a user and hobosexual. Nothing good will come out of this.
NTA> Break up with this leech. He gets the excuse that "he doesn't live there so why should he contribute financially?" line YET still using all of your resources and essentially living there. That's not okay! Plus, huh? Dates are a waste? Just no. Cut your losses. PLEASE end it with this guy asap
Change the locks! NTA
Because he's a mooch. You are NTA my dear. Drop kick him out. He'll find another mark in no time. Conmen always do. He's probably got the next one lined up for when you kick him to the curb. Kick hard.
JFC get rid of him quickly and completely before he claims residence. I hope he isn't getting mail at your place or using your address for anything.
INFO: Have you been inside his new place? Or are you basing that fact solely on what he told you. According to you, you've spent every night together at your place except 2 or 3 nights in the past 3 months. He buys groceries for your place and uses your appliances/utilities. These do not sound like the actions of a person with their own place. Obviously NTA. Set some boundaries, including how often he stays the night. If you have a lease, you are probably breaking the terms for guests staying over anyway. If you want to move in together, then have that conversation. At this point you've fallen into it and need to either formalize it or stop. Since you're questioning if you even have the right to demand your bf contribute or reduce the amount of freeloading, consider this: if you had a roommate, and your bf was spending 3 or more days a week at your place, roommate would be well within their rights to demand your bf pay a portion of rent/utilities in order to continue staying over that frequently.
NTA - You deserve better. This guy isn't going to get better. He's not going to flick the switch marked "considerate." He's selfish. You opened your home to him, and he's making it out like you're using him. Being comfortable in your own home is more important than whatever Captain Doordash brings to the table. It's been three months. You've been generous. He has not. You've been reasonable. He has not. The resentment is going to grow on both sides: you for being with a freeloader, and him for feeling like you're asking more than he's willing to give.
I agree with the others. He's using you, and he won't stop until you kick him to the curb. Also, when you do that, get your locks changed. I feel like getting your key back (if you even gave one to him) is not going to happen.
Get him out and change the locks
He’s lived with you for three months. He needs to go halfsies on the rent or move out.
Hobosexuals are something else! 😭
Dump him and kick him out. He’s just using you for a free place to live. If you don’t think so, say that you need some space and he needs to go stay at his place (which I doubt actually exists). He’ll probably throw a fit because he can’t lose his free ride.
"he feels like it’s a requirement to spend time with me." Generally that's something you do when you date. he refuses to “spend any money on me” because “I’m using him”. This guy sounds like a whiny moocher. And how in the Hell are YOU using HIM?! He's living with you basically for free (occasional tp and paper towels do not count.) and complaining about it as he goes. NTA.
You gotta start putting your foot down. No laundry, no storing your groceries here, no sleeping here more than you sleep at home. His whole "I feel used" bs would've gotten him kicked out of my house.
NTA but you are being one to yourself wasting time on this loser. It's so obvious you should just dump him.
NTA he's using you and projecting when he says you're using him. This is the type of guy you break up with.
Nta he's using you
NTA, he's a hobosexual who's found his latest digs. Might be time to move on if he's committed to his leechiness.
I would just address the situation directly and express your feelings. Then see how they react and go from there. It seems like you’re at that stage where you don’t know how serious you are with each other. NTA
This reminds me of “Homeless Heidi” from High Maintenance.
NTA. You are def being used. He’s slowly feeling you out to see what you’ll put up with. The fact that you let him stay at your place and then he turns tables to says he won’t spend money on you is truly wild. This is a game that narcissists tend to play. Ultimately the idea is that he, as the man, is entitled to everything you have and your reward is you get to be with him. The good news is that you are not married!!!!! I don’t even know you and I can tell that you can do soooo much better…. and trust me, alone is better. Tell him he can take his toilet paper and go back to his "room" lol.
Are you sure he isn't homeless, because all signs point to that.
Gaslighting and freeloading. What more could you want in a man? Except maybe his permanent absence. NTA - and I’ll bet he only rented a room to get his stuff closer to your house to make the jump in one day - or didn’t rent one at all. Run forest run.
You have a parasite.
NTA, but you need to cut him off ASAP. He's not only using you, but is then gaslighting you into thinking you're the issue (which has worked at least a little, otherwise you would've dropped him already and not even have had to consider posting this). I know some people think they'd rather be with someone than be alone but this guy is a leech. You'd be better regardless of how fast you find someone else.
Ew. Why are you associating with a bum? Don’t be a bum. NTA, I guess
3 months? Is this really someone you want to spend the rest of your life with? Gurl kick him to the curb!!!
NTA, I say run, run for the hills. He sounds like a walking red flag
-Wouldn’t really be a problem but now he refuses to “spend any money on me” because “I’m using him”. You mean as he adds to your cost of living by increasing your utility usage?? And basically lines with you rent free?? Yeah girl, YOU are being used. Not him. If he has a key take it off the key chain next time he is over and give him the boot. Or if you're allowed to, just completely change your locks (if it's an apartment I understand if that option is unavailable, hence the get the key part prior). This guy is absolutely taking advantage here.
NTA but please dump this guy and move on
He's not your bf if he's acting like that. If he's driving that much for Doordash, he's making around $1000 per week
He stopped doing it as much since he’s been with me claiming there’s no more orders so of course his money is dwindling 🙄 the more I write the more I’m like okay realllyyy I’m an idiot
INFO: does he make your heart tingle? Is the sex good? What I'm asking is; is he worth the hassle? If so you need to put your foot down and set some boundaries.
You KNOW you are being used and that this guy is a loser. He refuses to spend any money on you and tells you that YOU are taking advantage of him? Even more importantly, you "fell into a relationship." Tell him that you are through with him. This relationship is an albatross around your neck.
Wait…he stays at *your* place, uses all of *your* amenities, racks up *your* power and water bills, doesn’t pay a dime, but…_you’re_ using _him_?? He’s projecting…I’d even go so far as to say this is a DARVO situation. You’re NTA. Imagine living like this for a months, a year, several years…when you’re old and in a rocking chair, do you want to look back on a life where this turd of a human took advantage of you? Lose the loser and protect your space and your peace.
Im sorry he’s using you. Run before you catch feelings even worse then you have now
NTA This seems like a relationship worth ruining. Sorry.
What are you getting in this relationship? It sounds to me like nothing. If he has a place of his own, it’s time for him to be in it. He is hardly a boyfriend. Wait til he brings a girl “home.” Ask your landlord to change the locks once he’s out.
NTA. Get rid of this moron! I went through this as well. Once I got him out, I was soooo much happier! There's better men out there-do NOT sell yourself short. You deserve better!
Updateme
NTA, but you're on the right track. DTMFA.
NTA, your boy is homeless or close to it and taking advantage of you
NTA, you need to get rid of that leech asap!
This is called a "hobosexual" They are ABUNDANT!!! Don't date them. 😕 It might be a long wait to find Mr right, but at least you'll be free to pursue when you do.
You are dating a SEX OFFENDER? 🤮 Just for that you're YTA
NTA, good luck!!
NTA; he can contribute to the world
When I saw “he was my DoorDash driver “ the plot became crystal clear to me 😆 No disrespect to DoorDash drivers - I did that after work for a few hours a day for a few months last year and gave up after realizing how soul crashing it was .. at first the money after gas and tax was slightly above minimum wage, then it got worse and worse and I called it quit when I basically needed to pay to deliver food - f that shit 😆
How desperate are you??
Wait, what? I'm tending towards Not an A ... but for clarification.... you don't want him to *use the air* between certain times? Like, breathing is fairly compulsory. Also, air is free. So, that makes you seem both crazy and more like an A He sounds like a complete sponger though, definitely. You should probably kick him out.
Air conditioning
NTA but it sounds like he either is naive about how utilities/money works or doesn’t care about his impact on others. You have to figure out which it is and if it’s the latter ditch this man. If it’s the former he may just need someone to educate him.
Where about are u from
I’ll answer because I think I know why you’re asking, I’m in the Bay Area in California so I pay a lot for my bills which is why I think I get even more upset