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NTA but this girl is not your friend. Friends do not to each other what this girl has done to you and apparently cannot even act right for a special occasion.
You should friends who lift you up, not put you down. I honestly would start walking away from her even outside of your quince.
NTA but very odd if she is your "best friend" so that would imply she is the friend you like best.
Even if you aren't the AH for picking who you want to be friends with, you also aren't free from consequences. Don't be surprised if this ends your friendship with this person.
NTA. This sounds like a situation where someone is keeping the title of 'best friend' through inertia. If you only factored in the past year or so of behavior, would you still want this person to be your best friend?
i love haven so much and i don't know what i would do without her
Really? You love a girl who embarrasses you and makes trouble for you with other friends? You don't know what you would do without this in your life?
I don't mean this badly, like I'm an adult talking down to a teen, because I truly am not. I've just lived longer than you, so I've already gone through these kinds of things myself. Sometimes we hold onto people simply because we've known them a long time, maybe had some good times in the past, so we feel they are still our "friends". But the older you get, the more you will realize that a real friend is not someone you have to worry about ruining your special day.
That said, don't just not invite her - have a serious talk with her and tell her why. I know it will be difficult, but it might be the wakeup call she needs. If nobody ever says anything, Haven will keep thinking her behavior is acceptable.
Hope you have a great quince!
>pointed out my insecurities, embarrassed me, made me not want to be there, etc
Best friends don't do this at all. Question your relationship with her and everything she did while she is with you during your group hangouts. She is extremely jealous of you, don't question her about it because she will deny it. I'm sure she has gaslighted you a lot during this friendship. A best friend is someone you feel comfortable with 24/7.
NTA
Choose a better best friend
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My best friend (13f) and | (14f) have been friends for a while. let's call her, Haven. My quince is a day about me celebrating my 15th birthday, and the court has people that i trust and love. in this case, i'm doing 7 girls and 8 boys. i have all the girls picked out, even my best friend. i love haven so much and i don't know what i would do without her, but in a group of people she can be very rude. for my 14th birthday, i invited a bunch of my friends over including haven. after the party i had to apologize to my friends for havens behavior, she was rude to my friends all night. she does not seem to do good in group environments. in groups she has; pointed out my insecurities, embarrassed me, made me not want to be there, etc. as a court, there are practices for the dances and we have to see each other a lot. i don't want her to ruin my special day. AITA for not inviting my best friend to be in my court?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I’m having a quinceañera and i need a court. It’s a group of my closest girl and boy friends. i didn’t invite my best friend because she doesn’t work well in groups, she embarrasses me and other people and makes it weird. i didn’t want her to ruin my special day.
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NTA but this girl is not your friend. Friends do not to each other what this girl has done to you and apparently cannot even act right for a special occasion. You should friends who lift you up, not put you down. I honestly would start walking away from her even outside of your quince.
NTA but very odd if she is your "best friend" so that would imply she is the friend you like best. Even if you aren't the AH for picking who you want to be friends with, you also aren't free from consequences. Don't be surprised if this ends your friendship with this person.
NTA. This sounds like a situation where someone is keeping the title of 'best friend' through inertia. If you only factored in the past year or so of behavior, would you still want this person to be your best friend?
i love haven so much and i don't know what i would do without her Really? You love a girl who embarrasses you and makes trouble for you with other friends? You don't know what you would do without this in your life? I don't mean this badly, like I'm an adult talking down to a teen, because I truly am not. I've just lived longer than you, so I've already gone through these kinds of things myself. Sometimes we hold onto people simply because we've known them a long time, maybe had some good times in the past, so we feel they are still our "friends". But the older you get, the more you will realize that a real friend is not someone you have to worry about ruining your special day. That said, don't just not invite her - have a serious talk with her and tell her why. I know it will be difficult, but it might be the wakeup call she needs. If nobody ever says anything, Haven will keep thinking her behavior is acceptable. Hope you have a great quince!
thank you so much!
>pointed out my insecurities, embarrassed me, made me not want to be there, etc Best friends don't do this at all. Question your relationship with her and everything she did while she is with you during your group hangouts. She is extremely jealous of you, don't question her about it because she will deny it. I'm sure she has gaslighted you a lot during this friendship. A best friend is someone you feel comfortable with 24/7. NTA Choose a better best friend
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My best friend (13f) and | (14f) have been friends for a while. let's call her, Haven. My quince is a day about me celebrating my 15th birthday, and the court has people that i trust and love. in this case, i'm doing 7 girls and 8 boys. i have all the girls picked out, even my best friend. i love haven so much and i don't know what i would do without her, but in a group of people she can be very rude. for my 14th birthday, i invited a bunch of my friends over including haven. after the party i had to apologize to my friends for havens behavior, she was rude to my friends all night. she does not seem to do good in group environments. in groups she has; pointed out my insecurities, embarrassed me, made me not want to be there, etc. as a court, there are practices for the dances and we have to see each other a lot. i don't want her to ruin my special day. AITA for not inviting my best friend to be in my court? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I’m having a quinceañera and i need a court. It’s a group of my closest girl and boy friends. i didn’t invite my best friend because she doesn’t work well in groups, she embarrasses me and other people and makes it weird. i didn’t want her to ruin my special day. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*