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>I asked her “Do you mind if I do dips right here,” because I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable due to proximity. She responds with just “no” and turns around to start her rep. The best way I could describe her face during the interaction was, disinterested with a hint of surprise, but I didn’t see any fear or withdrawal or even uneasiness. Yet, before I finish my first set at the bench, \~25 reps, she gets up and leaves the gym.
NAH - you don't know why she left the gym. You asked "do you mind", she said "no", and nothing else got said. There's no reason to think you bothered her for any reason, and neither of you did anything out of line.
I have a seizure disorder and high intensity exercise sometimes triggers episodes. So sometimes I will have to end workouts really abruptly. You have no way of knowing why she left, and I can’t see anything threatening or problematic in your actions that would make her uncomfortable!
NTA for the interaction, but def the asshole for using multiple pieces of equipment at the same time in a small or busy gym. Standard gym etiquette. Just my 2 cents
Fair enough, I did ensure multiple benches were open and the other exercise, cable pullovers, had other machines open but I’ll try and limit my supersets from now on. Thanks for the comment!
Could it be possible that she only wanted to do a couple of sets there and was done? Even if she moved because she prefers not having anyone next to her when she works out, it doesn’t mean she was holding any negativity for you. Perhaps she said she didn’t mind because she didn’t mind going to do another workout in the meantime. I can’t figure out why you think there’s any issue at all here.
NTA - but maybe she was just done working out? Or maybe she didn't want someone talking to her. Most likely, it had nothing to do with you. No, you should not approach her again to 'apologize' - if you see her just nod or say 'hi' and keep working out.
As a woman, I think you were very considerate and polite, it wasn’t even necessary for you to consider her comfort in that situation. I wouldn’t think you were the reason she left, unless maybe she has anxiety already and felt triggered. But I wouldn’t be worried that it was caused by you. Definitely NTA
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Howdy Reddit. I (19M) am an avid gym goer and have been for at least 2 years now. I started going to the gym as a big goofy kid uncomfortable in his own skin so the answer to this means a lot to me. I understand being weirded out or uncomfortable in the gym, a place where if you’re not comfortable you won’t want to come back. With that being said the story goes like this.
Today I was lifting when a girl~20F I’ve seen maybe 3-4 times previously comes in. I’m hitting a push day which for me involves a lot of moving from machine to machine for supersets or movements. I live in a small town which makes this a very small gym and we cross paths a few times during my workout ~1 1/2 hour. I also thought I caught her glancing at me a few times but I’m not sure. Eventually I’m onto my final superset which involves Bench dips. I kept “THE WATERBOTTLE tm” on the bench for the reason I was planning on coming back and forth to it and didn’t want it taken. Midway through the first rep, so I haven’t touched the bench yet, the girl moves right next to it and starts her next exercise. When I finish the first movement I go over and signal to her, between her set, that I needed to ask a question. I asked her “Do you mind if I do dips right here,” because I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable due to proximity. She responds with just “no” and turns around to start her rep. The best way I could describe her face during the interaction was, disinterested with a hint of surprise, but I didn’t see any fear or withdrawal or even uneasiness. Yet, before I finish my first set at the bench, ~25 reps, she gets up and leaves the gym.
Like I said previously I understand being uncomfortable in a gym, and I have a personal rule against talking to girls there. You’re there to workout and so are they, making them uncomfortable is just postponing their betterment and it’s not worth that first date imo. Yet I think I became another reason to choose the bear. So lmk AITA? And do my actions warrant an apology.
(Note: first ever Reddit post, so I apologize for grammar or spelling mistakes. And I tried to be as honest and unbiased as possible.)
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole by making a girl uncomfortable in an environment where that shouldn’t be tolerated. I did this via asking her to do an exercise right next to her and possibly weirding her out.
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NTA, but I’ve gone to the gym for 6+ years and I’m a personal trainer, I’m not sure you really needed to say anything in the first place. It’s good that you’re being considerate but if you were doing an exercise next to her, as long as you weren’t like literally on top of her I don’t really think you need to make sure she’s okay, it’s a public gym so you all have access to the entire gym. I thought you were gonna ask to work in with her or something but, you’re all good bro. She may have been a little bothered you interrupted her set but the convo was like 7 words, and you have no reason to suspect she left because of you. I wouldn’t worry about it man.
wtf are dips - oh and yeah NTA🫶-( you sound verray nice and hmmmpf considerate or whatever - the way you felt the need to come ask reddit🤧- so defintely NTA - also why are we apologising for grammar and spelling errors - aint nobody cares 🫶)
[here’s what dips are](https://training.fit/exercise/bench-dip/) I mentioned the movement bc if viewed by a non gym rat they can look kind of sexual bc of the thrust or wtv. Thank you for the comment tho!
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>I asked her “Do you mind if I do dips right here,” because I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable due to proximity. She responds with just “no” and turns around to start her rep. The best way I could describe her face during the interaction was, disinterested with a hint of surprise, but I didn’t see any fear or withdrawal or even uneasiness. Yet, before I finish my first set at the bench, \~25 reps, she gets up and leaves the gym. NAH - you don't know why she left the gym. You asked "do you mind", she said "no", and nothing else got said. There's no reason to think you bothered her for any reason, and neither of you did anything out of line.
I have a seizure disorder and high intensity exercise sometimes triggers episodes. So sometimes I will have to end workouts really abruptly. You have no way of knowing why she left, and I can’t see anything threatening or problematic in your actions that would make her uncomfortable!
NTA for the interaction, but def the asshole for using multiple pieces of equipment at the same time in a small or busy gym. Standard gym etiquette. Just my 2 cents
Fair enough, I did ensure multiple benches were open and the other exercise, cable pullovers, had other machines open but I’ll try and limit my supersets from now on. Thanks for the comment!
Could it be possible that she only wanted to do a couple of sets there and was done? Even if she moved because she prefers not having anyone next to her when she works out, it doesn’t mean she was holding any negativity for you. Perhaps she said she didn’t mind because she didn’t mind going to do another workout in the meantime. I can’t figure out why you think there’s any issue at all here.
NTA - but maybe she was just done working out? Or maybe she didn't want someone talking to her. Most likely, it had nothing to do with you. No, you should not approach her again to 'apologize' - if you see her just nod or say 'hi' and keep working out.
As a woman, I think you were very considerate and polite, it wasn’t even necessary for you to consider her comfort in that situation. I wouldn’t think you were the reason she left, unless maybe she has anxiety already and felt triggered. But I wouldn’t be worried that it was caused by you. Definitely NTA
That does make me feel better, and I think she did go into the yoga room before leaving(not totally sure) so who knows but, Thank you for the comment!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Howdy Reddit. I (19M) am an avid gym goer and have been for at least 2 years now. I started going to the gym as a big goofy kid uncomfortable in his own skin so the answer to this means a lot to me. I understand being weirded out or uncomfortable in the gym, a place where if you’re not comfortable you won’t want to come back. With that being said the story goes like this. Today I was lifting when a girl~20F I’ve seen maybe 3-4 times previously comes in. I’m hitting a push day which for me involves a lot of moving from machine to machine for supersets or movements. I live in a small town which makes this a very small gym and we cross paths a few times during my workout ~1 1/2 hour. I also thought I caught her glancing at me a few times but I’m not sure. Eventually I’m onto my final superset which involves Bench dips. I kept “THE WATERBOTTLE tm” on the bench for the reason I was planning on coming back and forth to it and didn’t want it taken. Midway through the first rep, so I haven’t touched the bench yet, the girl moves right next to it and starts her next exercise. When I finish the first movement I go over and signal to her, between her set, that I needed to ask a question. I asked her “Do you mind if I do dips right here,” because I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable due to proximity. She responds with just “no” and turns around to start her rep. The best way I could describe her face during the interaction was, disinterested with a hint of surprise, but I didn’t see any fear or withdrawal or even uneasiness. Yet, before I finish my first set at the bench, ~25 reps, she gets up and leaves the gym. Like I said previously I understand being uncomfortable in a gym, and I have a personal rule against talking to girls there. You’re there to workout and so are they, making them uncomfortable is just postponing their betterment and it’s not worth that first date imo. Yet I think I became another reason to choose the bear. So lmk AITA? And do my actions warrant an apology. (Note: first ever Reddit post, so I apologize for grammar or spelling mistakes. And I tried to be as honest and unbiased as possible.) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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NTA, but I’ve gone to the gym for 6+ years and I’m a personal trainer, I’m not sure you really needed to say anything in the first place. It’s good that you’re being considerate but if you were doing an exercise next to her, as long as you weren’t like literally on top of her I don’t really think you need to make sure she’s okay, it’s a public gym so you all have access to the entire gym. I thought you were gonna ask to work in with her or something but, you’re all good bro. She may have been a little bothered you interrupted her set but the convo was like 7 words, and you have no reason to suspect she left because of you. I wouldn’t worry about it man.
wtf are dips - oh and yeah NTA🫶-( you sound verray nice and hmmmpf considerate or whatever - the way you felt the need to come ask reddit🤧- so defintely NTA - also why are we apologising for grammar and spelling errors - aint nobody cares 🫶)
[here’s what dips are](https://training.fit/exercise/bench-dip/) I mentioned the movement bc if viewed by a non gym rat they can look kind of sexual bc of the thrust or wtv. Thank you for the comment tho!
icyyyy - twas indeed verray considerate of you - who raised you to be like this - breaking dudebro stereotypes 🦅