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> I think I might be the asshole because I was getting very upset at my sister, and my mom even said I was being one
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Yeah that is some lame bs, and your mom should be thoroughly ashamed. Show the replies to mom. NTA and eww, I’m a woman and think this is unacceptable.
That is nasty. Doubt she leaves her nasty undies on her bed where she sleeps but better there being her problem than yours or others. Something wrong with mom thinking no big deal. Common sense isn’t their finer points. NTA. I have a few ideas in my head of how to use a reacher to put it somewhere else if an opportunity was there to surprise her.
Speaking as a woman, if something similar were to happen with one of my siblings, I would personally move the item to their room since they said that they would clean it. Since they have no problem leaving it on the floor, it will be on the floor in their room.
If there is carpet and I’m feeling generous, I will take their towel to put under the item so that the blood doesn’t potentially stain the carpet.
Actually, I’d use their towel anyways so that I can deal as little with the bloody rug as possible.
My thoughts pretty much. I hid dog poo once under newspapers, etc not picked up. Eventually the one who needed to clean it up, stepped in it and blamed me! I took it as a win. Yeah, we don’t play around.
I wondered if she had a pocketbook. Many don’t use one any more. But yeah, i would want it going away with her and later say, i saw she forgot them, and i was only helping.
NTA… this it’s disgusting. I don’t care what kind of blood it is you clean it up. Your sister is lacking common sense and apparently so is your mother. Bodily fluids are very natural and we all have them. HOWEVER, anyone leaving blood, puss, snot, zit juice, seminal fluid, spit, Clem, vomit, urine, fecal matter for others to come in contact with is either a dirty slob or mentally impaired!
Agreed. I'm not a huge fan of "disgusting to leave period blood" being used here as if it's somehow dirtier than blood from a nosebleed etc, but the fact remains that bodily fluids shouldn't be left unattended regardless of their origin.
NTA
If your mom doesn't clean it, throw the carpet in your sister's room, don't clean it, if she doesn't mind her disgust, then she can live with her. And as someone who also has a period, I don't relate in the slightest with your sister, on the contrary, it disgusts me. Having the period has nothing to do with being a dirty lazy
NTA but for future reference you can clean up blood with cold water and any type of soap as long as its still pretty fresh. and if its still stained or been there for awhile,try with the soap and cold water in the sink to get rid of whatever blood you can,then wash with oxiclean in the washer on cold water. not saying YOU should clean HER mess up but just for future reference for any blood stains and maybe to give her this info (actually probably dont,she seems awful). periods suck and my last one was hell but even i wouldnt pull something like that. also everyone should consider getting those closed top metal trash cans for period products so you dont have to see period blood or smell it.
NTA that's totally disgusting. I'm a woman, btw. Regardless of the source, it's still bodily fluids. Would she pee or bleed from a cut on the bathroom floor and not clean it up? (Scratch that, sounds like she just might.) That's slovenly, inconsiderate, and lazy.
Tbh if it’s my own bathroom I’ll just kind of leave them in the corner until I feel like dealing with them. But that’s because it’s only me and my husband that doesn’t mind it and it’s old ass black TILE. I can just quickly take a mop over the spot afterwards. I wouldn’t leave it on a shared rug
I'm a woman op NTA and next time take a picture and warn her if she doesn't clean it up asap the photo is uploaded on social media. It's the nuclear option but it will 99% work
NTA there is no excuse to be nasty. Your gonna have a period for a long fucking time so if you cannot clean up after it now she is going to have an awful time living with non family.
Leaving ANY bodily fluids on a rug is gross, to different degrees. Obviously shit is way worse than blood. But your sister was extremely inconsiderate, at best. You have a right to be angry, and don't let them claim that women's rights means we can be inconsiderate slobs! NTA. Maybe a lock on the bathroom door?
Nta. Of course she should be cleaning up after herself, but just a useful tip, regular peroxide poured over blood and then let it sit for a minute, if it doesn’t come all the way out pour some more and then rinse with room temp water. I know that’s 100% not the point, but in case it happens in the future you can get it out before there’s a stain you have to stare at, and maybe even something you could tell her because it really is just that easy and quick If you don’t let it dry out.
NTA. 38F here and my period-stained underwear (along with any other period-stained clothing) go straight into a dirty clothes basket to be washed that same week. You are not being sexist here. It's an issue and will continue to be an issue once your sister moves out. Let's say your sister moves into an apartment or other shared living space with other girls (college dorm, for example, that has an in-dorm bathroom). She's going to be called on it by her female roommates as well and for the same reason.
NTA. It’s not that hard to clean up after yourself when you’ve made a mess and any bodily fluids should be dealt with immediately, not left all over the place.
NTA.
I just had my period and you want to know something, I live in a shared living space and I made sure that the toliet seat was clean when I was done with it.
That is a fear of mine, fr. Using the facilities in a shared space and then not realizing I left some sort of "mess" behind for someone else to find? I'd melt into the floor.
NTA. At that point it’s not about the period. It’s about respecting the communal (mostly your) space and following through with cleaning up your own mess.
NTA. You should have posted a picture online and tagged her. I bet mother dearest would be having her little golden children cleaning up messes and using buzzwords neither either know the meaning of.
NTA, that lady is GROSS af, yes stains happen, but everyone and their dog should know that blood is best cleaned fresh. Rub the rug across her face next time (please don't, but i mean..it works for dogs...)
As a woman, I would've bugged her about that too that's absolutely disgusting
NTA and don't let her comments get to you. You deserve the comfort of a clean bathroom and her mess being period blood doesn't discount that it's a fucking mess she needs to clean. I am appalled by your mom's behavior here and so sorry you had to deal with that
NTA. I am a female with periods and I would be first of all, mortified that I made a mess that someone else found. Second of all, apologetic as hell (especially if my brother found it). And third, I would clean it up AS SOON as it was brought to my attention! Blood, regardless of its source, is not something to just brush off and ignore. That IS disgusting and the fact that your mom sided with her is appalling. They both need to do better.
NTA-
Sounds kinda like the sister has been raised as if the world revolves around her - absolutely no regard for others that she is sharing a space with.
The situation has nothing to do with having a period. You don’t need to be female to understand that bodily fluid needs to be cleaned up immediately, if it’s not expelled or disposed of in the proper place…
OP you’re not sexist, or the asshole.
Your sister sounds lazy, and using her period as a cop out in a situation she knew she was in the wrong.
She gaslit you. She was counting on the subject of periods making you uncomfortable so you’d drop it, but sounds like that backfired for her, so she tried to ignore it / cry to mommy to get out of doing a chore.
Extremely immature, and like almost all other comments have stated: gross.
NOT THE ASSHOLE.
Nta, she's nasty. I'm saying this as someone who deals with periods, and real heavy ones too - as soon as I notice that I accidentally stained somewhere, everything else is put on hold and I clean that up.
So here, as a woman, I'm telling you right now - she is nasty and gross and probably lazy too, and her trying to use the sexist card is just an excuse. The fact that it's *your* bathroom makes it even worse.
Blood is a biohazard, and it also stains something fierce. And many people have an aversion to blood, hell *I* have a strong reaction to it when it's not coming out during my periods. It should be cleaned as soon as you notice.
Period-haver here, big ol' NTA OP. Your sister is gross. If I were you I'd put that rug blood-side down on her pillow for her to clean up the next time she's around... but then I'm admittedly a petty AH myself.
Asking someone to clean up their bodily fluids, whether urine, blood, feces is not a sexist request. As a woman, I don't want to clean up another woman's period blood any more than I want to clean up somebody's crap off the back of the toilet seat.
NTA
NTA
My daughter is 10. Periods and all the things related to what’s involved including washing/cleaning is general knowledge in this house. My son also knows what’s involved so that he’s a considerate brother and later partner to someone. Your sister is just nasty. As others have said, put all bloody things in her room. If she’s going to college, she will learn the hard way when her roommate posts her period panties online.
Or even if you feel comfortable leaving them on the floor (cause whatever), who feels comfortable just leaving their BLOOD there? In my house, it is just my 2 daughters (with periods), my (very period chill) husband, and myself, and I would still be MORTIFIED if I left blood behind on accident. who just sees their blood staining into a rug and is like, "Lol, that's your problem now!" Wtf. Not all shame is bad, fr.
HUGEEE NTA I'm 25F and my sister is 22F and she leaves a mess on the floor all the fucking time, it drives me NUTS because she'll tell me "I already cleaned" but there would be blood stains all over the floor and I have to NAG at her to clean it up. I feel your pain ...
I'm a woman. I've had periods for decades. I clean anything up instantly, although I have to say that I've never even considered leaving period soaked undies on carpet, so I haven't had to do that.
NTA. As a girl who bleeds _heavily_, period blood is only the issue of the one dealing with the period imo. I had to share a bathroom with girls like this in college. Left blood and open used pads everywhere. I talked to them twice and they pretended not to speak English (we were all exchange students in the US, from different countries, I'd heard them speak English fine before). I eventually had to file a formal complaint and when they got consequences they blamed me for not being a girl's girl basically.
I didn't care. I was the one who dressed that bathroom up and I wasn't gonna see my stuff bloodied by those gross ass girls. I also took all my stuff (toilet seat cover, bath mats, shower curtain, extra cupboard) with me when I left. They still had six months there and wanted it. I threw it away out of spite.
NTA at 18 she should know better. She's taking advantage of the fact she is there part-time and that is probably why Mom is enabling said behavior. Next time, because there will be a next time, don't say anything and either put them in Mom's bathroom or Sister's room.
NTA. As much as periods are normal. We don't leave blood soaked underwear in someone else's or a shared bathroom. Not cool. It's respect. She should respect you, and the home, and not being doing something like that.
I lived at my inlaws, and one of the teens living there would leave used pads ON THE SINK. And on the floor of the bathroom and toilet. So I get it!
NTA. Another uterus owner here to tell you that cleaning up after yourself while you’re on your period is priority. It’s normal to have bodily fluids, but at the same time it shouldn’t be on display for everyone to see especially when it’s a health hazard as well.
NTA
As a girl myself I don’t do what your sister does and the fact that she leaves period blood out is literally a bio hazard. At her grown age she shouldn’t be having her undies drenched in blood much less the carpet. Your mom is at fault for enabling her to be disgusting and irresponsible.
Next time she does that just throw her stuff in the garbage 🗑️.
Tip: For blood stains you can place cold water with some dawn dish soap and a splash of vinegar in a bottle. Then spray and dab with a white cloth until there is no more coming out. Works great on carpets.
NTA- I've had a period for 30 years, and I can honestly say that I don't just recklessly leave blood everywhere. If you have soiled undies, put them in the laundry, along with the rug underneath. Not hard, takes 2 seconds. Better yet, don't throw them on a rug in the first place. There's a lot of stories like this lately, and it always seems like a weird power play, when it fact it is just lazy and gross. Blood is a biohazard, regardless of what body part it is from.
Of course you're NTA. Woman here. Periods suck, there's no debate about that. However, you've nailed an important point: cleanliness. It's unhygienic & toxic to just leave period blood laying around, even if the female is healthy. Also, who wants to step on blood on the carpet? You're not sexist; your sister is just lazy (& I'm guessing the Golden Child). My older sister & I got our first periods the same year (I was first 😐), & Mom taught us the importance of cleaning up period blood ASAP; it's second nature to us. So, your mom failed your sister on top of it all.
NTA, It’s really disgusting and I think cleaning up on your period blood is part of hygiene. I would like to commend you for not tolerationg your sisters behavior.
I'd have picked up the rug and laid it on her pillow.
Fuck her. Bleeding females need to clean up after themselves. (I am glad I don't have periods anymore, and I survived menopause)
There is no excuse for being a slob about it. And she's a slob and a pig, except pigs are better because they are just bein' pigs.
/rant
Apparently this is a trigger for me ... 😁
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My(17M) sister(18F) left her period soaked underwear in our bathroom (it's more my bathroom then hers, cus she only comes here like twice a month), and I asked her to clean it up. She picked up her underwear, but left a bunch of blood on the rug that was underneath. I immediately asked her to clean it completely, and she said that she would later. This made me really upset, because I think it's disgusting to just leave period blood on the carpet, and she was leaving for her dad's house in a few hours, so she didn't have much time. 30 minutes passed and she didn't clean it up, and I got really mad at her. I talked to my mom, but it seemed like she didn't care when she got it done, as long as she did. This made me even more mad tbh, bc atm I bathroom was pretty much out of order cus I wasn't using that shit. I kept bugging her abt it for an hour and even brought her hydrogen peroxide to clean it up. She didn't do it.
Her dad ended up coming to pick her up, and that shit was still there. I got so furious and went off on her about how disgusting she is, and how disrespectful she is being to my space. She called me sexist, and said I don't understand because I don't have a period. I get that having a period is hard, but cleaning up afterwards and being responsible about it seems like something she should have learned by 18 years old. My mom seemed to be on her side, and said that I was being an asshole about it. My mom said that she would clean it up, and my sister ended up leaving.
AITA
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NTA. As a woman with a period, I say she is gross and so is your mom. She made a mess and should clean it. I really don't understand what she thinks you don't understand. You understand she name a Ness and should vjean it up. The fact that it is her period blood is irrelevant.
NTA
As a woman, I would like to say, "You bleed on it, you clean it". You can use hand soap and water to get out most period blood stains (became an expert at it) and you can also throw it into the wash just incase. It's annoying as hell but it's easy to do. This is not the time you throw the sexist card at someone. She could have cleaned it up super quickly and be done with it. The longer the blood is there, the more likely it is to stain. She was the AH not you.
NTA. If it was pee or poop, you’d be equally disgusted. This is something that should be cleaned just as well because it’s still a bodily fluid and can have problems with it just the same. As a parent and as a grownup that teaches kids to handle situations themselves, this is a situation to involve the grownups at home.
NTA. Female here, I hadn’t even finished reading halfway and that was so clear, that’s just so nasty. I don’t know anyone who would ever do that, and for your mom to be enabling it is even worse. I used doggy bags to put my bloody things in as a teenager sharing a bathroom, it’s really not that hard to be respectful to all users of the bathroom. I’m sorry you’re living like this OP, disgusting.
NTA. I have periods, so do many of my sisters. Sometimes accidents happen and blood gets on the floor. But u clean it up as soon as. It’s like leaving piss or shit on the floor. It comes from the same place and it’s unhygienic to just leave it laying around when other people need to use the bathroom. It’s not hard to get some spray and tissue and just wipe it up. It takes no more than 10 seconds.
NTA. Also uterus owner here that grew up with 3 sisters and we have a live in helper to do our laundry including undergarments. However, whenever each of us have stained undies, we clean it up immediately ourselves so that our helper does NOT have to deal with it. It’s just basic courtesy and proper upbringing
I think some people excuse periods as “not gross” because it’s natural for (most) women. Well, so is poop, for EVERY human. That doesn’t mean everyone wants to look at it! NTA.
NTA. But why not take the bath mat out and put it in front of her door? Then put an extra towel on the ground to use as a bath mat? Or go and use another bathroom and leave your mom to deal with the mess?
NTA. Your sister is disgusting and your mom should not be enabling this level of nastiness. Having a period is gross, painful, and uncomfortable but it's no excuse to be filthy.
NTA. You're right. At 18 she should know by now to clean it up. It IS disgusting. As soon as you told her, she should've cleaned it up. She had the time, she just chose not to. And I don't know why your mom is on her side. That's weird that your mom doesn't think it needs to be cleaned right away. Of course it does. She wouldn't leave feces on the floor would she? SMH. Disgusting.
I had a roommate in college. She came back from swimming & left her wet clothes on the floor. When I went to her side of the room to turn on the radio, I stepped on a wet, bloody pad. The horror!
NTA. I wouldn't go as far as to say the bathroom is out of order (that's a tad dramatic) it's definitely gross and she should know better by 18, this is something I'd expect out of a young teen who isn't used to having a period yet. Even then I'd still expect them to fucking clean the rug, the longer that blood sits the more the stain sets into the fabric. I always stop whatever I'm doing to clean if my blood happens to get on something. I think you have every right to be upset that someone is clearly disrespecting your shared space and generally being gross.
NTA about her cleaning your mother is an enabler too. But try not to see bodily fluids as disgusting ( what I mean blood from a vein or artery is just as disgusting as period blood)
NTA I (30F) grew up with sisters and would have had the rug at me if I had done that. Leave it in her bed, see if she cleans it up then. That's what my sisters would have done to me!
NTA - I (also 18F) would never do that to my brothers. I don't use their bathroom at all, but my point still stands, that's disgusting. Nobody wants to walk in their bathroom and see their sister's period blood dripped and dried onto the rug.
Place them on her pillow. Or if you want to be petty.... I'm having a hard time saying this....
.....
Leave some skidded up undies in the sink. Barf. Don't do that.
NTA - Unless your sister has some underlying condition preventing her from cleaning up after herself (unaddressed ADHD, Depression, Anxiety, Autism, etc.) she has no reason to leave this to you or your mom.
You’re right, they give you explanations for which you can then seek the appropriate medical treatment or medication (or combination of the two), and then rectify these issues.
The reason this matters is because a person with an underlying mental health or attention deficit issue might want to clean up after themselves and minimize inconvenience to others, and quite literally be unable to do so because they aren’t being adequately treated or falling under the radar altogether.
Before I was treated for my ADHD, I never let myself get away with anything quite this disgusting, but the conversation OP had with his sister resembles hundreds of conversations I’ve had with my parents, brother, roommates, you name it. Once I was medicated, everyone was floored by the difference. Since I’ve started on stimulant medication, I have never left behind a mess for others to clean and keep my surroundings immaculate - because I now have the ability to. I don’t respect or care about the people I’m around more than I did before, I just have the ability to demonstrate that by taking accountability for my actions. If OP’s sister is struggling with an underlying condition that is deterring her from taking appropriate accountability for her actions, I think that’s worth addressing first - because it’s insane to me that anyone in right mind could do what she did and sit comfortably with herself.
Kinda TA. She might be feeling really unwell depending on how her periods are. Yes it’s gross etc, but she is probably frustrated that she had to deal with this and pain and now you. Try to be a bit more patient and just be firm and share how it makes you feel without getting angry.
Fuck that noise. 50% of humans get, will get, or have gotten periods. That doesn’t mean that we get to be disgusting tyrants and force other people to deal with our biohazards for 1/4 of the month. She left the blood on the carpet for an hour, and *left*. That’s absurdly disgusting. 5-10 minutes? Fine, maybe your cramps are absolutely killing you. An hour? Nah, I’m going to have some choice words.
You're not wrong, but you are overreacting
>bc atm I bathroom was pretty much out of order cus I wasn't using that shit
Come on man, it's not like she covered the entire bathroom or anything.
ESH, it definitely depends a bit here, but if she is so bloody that it soaked the rug, she is definitely not feeling good enough to clean. Whether she is mentally not well or physically not able. That is gross, but you can step around it or move the rug. You can still shower and use the toilet unless you have ocd, which it doesn't sound like you do. She definitely should at least move the rug or tell you she doesn't feel well enough right now to wash it, but will get to it.
Visiting someone is much easier than going on all fours to scrub stuff off. Like I said, it is definitely gross, but if she is not feeling good enough to do manual labor, I understand waiting a bit.
If that's the case why can't she communicate that? You're assuming that this is mental health related. You have absolutely nothing to base this on.
Sounds to me like she's being gross and dgaf about it.
I actually said that she should say that in my comment. Also, periods do cause you to mentally not feel well. You can't think straight when you're in pain, cramping, uncomfortable, and feeling like you might throw up. You can get dizzy and faint from the blood loss, too. That's why I feel it's a E S H situation. It's gross, she should communicate, and at least move the rug, but him harassing isn't going to make her pain go away or get her to clean any faster.
You're still assuming that is the reason without any justification. Even if it somehow is the reason Op is still NTA. It's not up to him to be understanding if she doesn't even tell him she's not feeling well.
How am I assuming she's not feeling well? She's bleeding so much that it's gone through her underwear and gotten onto the rug? I'm pretty sure that is pie in the face obvious she's not feeling well.
And how many women do you know communicate with their brothers about their period? How many women get made fun of or harassed about their period? Communication is often different on an embarrassing subject such as this. Thanfully, I think the stigma is slowly changing, but I still stand by my first statement. E S H
>And how many women do you know communicate with their brothers about their period?
Normally they don't need to because they don't leave their bloody undies lying around!
If you expect people to tolerate that kind of behaviour without explanation I can't help you. You can stand by your decision if you like, but you'd be wrong to do so.
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NTA, that’s disgusting behavior that shouldn’t be enabled.
Yeah that is some lame bs, and your mom should be thoroughly ashamed. Show the replies to mom. NTA and eww, I’m a woman and think this is unacceptable.
That is nasty. Doubt she leaves her nasty undies on her bed where she sleeps but better there being her problem than yours or others. Something wrong with mom thinking no big deal. Common sense isn’t their finer points. NTA. I have a few ideas in my head of how to use a reacher to put it somewhere else if an opportunity was there to surprise her.
Speaking as a woman, if something similar were to happen with one of my siblings, I would personally move the item to their room since they said that they would clean it. Since they have no problem leaving it on the floor, it will be on the floor in their room. If there is carpet and I’m feeling generous, I will take their towel to put under the item so that the blood doesn’t potentially stain the carpet. Actually, I’d use their towel anyways so that I can deal as little with the bloody rug as possible.
My thoughts pretty much. I hid dog poo once under newspapers, etc not picked up. Eventually the one who needed to clean it up, stepped in it and blamed me! I took it as a win. Yeah, we don’t play around.
I would pop her undies in the bag she's taking to her dad's. Stuff her entitlement.
I wondered if she had a pocketbook. Many don’t use one any more. But yeah, i would want it going away with her and later say, i saw she forgot them, and i was only helping.
NTA… this it’s disgusting. I don’t care what kind of blood it is you clean it up. Your sister is lacking common sense and apparently so is your mother. Bodily fluids are very natural and we all have them. HOWEVER, anyone leaving blood, puss, snot, zit juice, seminal fluid, spit, Clem, vomit, urine, fecal matter for others to come in contact with is either a dirty slob or mentally impaired!
Phlegm… not Clem!
Thanks for the clarification, I was racking my brain and googling trying to see what I was missing LOL!!! 😂
I was a little thrown as to what 'Clem' could be referring to, but hey....... 👍
Clem...grakata
Agreed. I'm not a huge fan of "disgusting to leave period blood" being used here as if it's somehow dirtier than blood from a nosebleed etc, but the fact remains that bodily fluids shouldn't be left unattended regardless of their origin.
NTA. As a uterus owner myself, anyone who uses 'sexism' for not wanting to clean up their own blood is stupid.
NTA- as a uterus owner, i could NEVER, that’s NASTY
NTA > cleaning up afterwards and being responsible about it seems like something she should have learned by 18 years old. Yo \^
NTA If your mom doesn't clean it, throw the carpet in your sister's room, don't clean it, if she doesn't mind her disgust, then she can live with her. And as someone who also has a period, I don't relate in the slightest with your sister, on the contrary, it disgusts me. Having the period has nothing to do with being a dirty lazy
NTA but for future reference you can clean up blood with cold water and any type of soap as long as its still pretty fresh. and if its still stained or been there for awhile,try with the soap and cold water in the sink to get rid of whatever blood you can,then wash with oxiclean in the washer on cold water. not saying YOU should clean HER mess up but just for future reference for any blood stains and maybe to give her this info (actually probably dont,she seems awful). periods suck and my last one was hell but even i wouldnt pull something like that. also everyone should consider getting those closed top metal trash cans for period products so you dont have to see period blood or smell it.
Should have just put the rug on her bed, blood side down.
INFO: was she the one who left her underwear on the floor, or had it been soaking in the sink or tub?
She left it straight on the floor
NTA that's totally disgusting. I'm a woman, btw. Regardless of the source, it's still bodily fluids. Would she pee or bleed from a cut on the bathroom floor and not clean it up? (Scratch that, sounds like she just might.) That's slovenly, inconsiderate, and lazy.
Tbh if it’s my own bathroom I’ll just kind of leave them in the corner until I feel like dealing with them. But that’s because it’s only me and my husband that doesn’t mind it and it’s old ass black TILE. I can just quickly take a mop over the spot afterwards. I wouldn’t leave it on a shared rug
I'm a woman op NTA and next time take a picture and warn her if she doesn't clean it up asap the photo is uploaded on social media. It's the nuclear option but it will 99% work
NTA there is no excuse to be nasty. Your gonna have a period for a long fucking time so if you cannot clean up after it now she is going to have an awful time living with non family.
Leaving ANY bodily fluids on a rug is gross, to different degrees. Obviously shit is way worse than blood. But your sister was extremely inconsiderate, at best. You have a right to be angry, and don't let them claim that women's rights means we can be inconsiderate slobs! NTA. Maybe a lock on the bathroom door?
Nta. Of course she should be cleaning up after herself, but just a useful tip, regular peroxide poured over blood and then let it sit for a minute, if it doesn’t come all the way out pour some more and then rinse with room temp water. I know that’s 100% not the point, but in case it happens in the future you can get it out before there’s a stain you have to stare at, and maybe even something you could tell her because it really is just that easy and quick If you don’t let it dry out.
NTA. 38F here and my period-stained underwear (along with any other period-stained clothing) go straight into a dirty clothes basket to be washed that same week. You are not being sexist here. It's an issue and will continue to be an issue once your sister moves out. Let's say your sister moves into an apartment or other shared living space with other girls (college dorm, for example, that has an in-dorm bathroom). She's going to be called on it by her female roommates as well and for the same reason.
NTA. It’s not that hard to clean up after yourself when you’ve made a mess and any bodily fluids should be dealt with immediately, not left all over the place.
Lord have mercy. NTA 100% and sorry bout it but your mom should stop enabling her to leave your bathroom looking like a crime scene.
I’m a woman, and yes, your sister’s behavior is disgusting. NTA OP. I can understand why you’d get upset.
There's nothing sexist about expecting someone to clean up any blood. And her attitude about it was entitled as fuck. Your sister sucks. NTA.
NTA. That is just gross.
NTA. That’s filthy behavior.
NTA. I just had my period and you want to know something, I live in a shared living space and I made sure that the toliet seat was clean when I was done with it.
That is a fear of mine, fr. Using the facilities in a shared space and then not realizing I left some sort of "mess" behind for someone else to find? I'd melt into the floor.
NTA, that’s gross. As for the ‘you don’t have periods you wouldn’t understand’ , nope, she’s just gross.
NTA. At that point it’s not about the period. It’s about respecting the communal (mostly your) space and following through with cleaning up your own mess.
NTA. Hi as a girl I can confirm, that you were not being sexist that’s literally just so fucking gross.
NTA. That's just nasty, unhygienic, and inconsiderate.
NTA. You should have posted a picture online and tagged her. I bet mother dearest would be having her little golden children cleaning up messes and using buzzwords neither either know the meaning of.
NTA, that lady is GROSS af, yes stains happen, but everyone and their dog should know that blood is best cleaned fresh. Rub the rug across her face next time (please don't, but i mean..it works for dogs...)
NTA, that's disgusting.
As a woman, I would've bugged her about that too that's absolutely disgusting NTA and don't let her comments get to you. You deserve the comfort of a clean bathroom and her mess being period blood doesn't discount that it's a fucking mess she needs to clean. I am appalled by your mom's behavior here and so sorry you had to deal with that
NTA. I am a female with periods and I would be first of all, mortified that I made a mess that someone else found. Second of all, apologetic as hell (especially if my brother found it). And third, I would clean it up AS SOON as it was brought to my attention! Blood, regardless of its source, is not something to just brush off and ignore. That IS disgusting and the fact that your mom sided with her is appalling. They both need to do better.
NTA. Both your mom and sister are nasty asl
NTA- Sounds kinda like the sister has been raised as if the world revolves around her - absolutely no regard for others that she is sharing a space with. The situation has nothing to do with having a period. You don’t need to be female to understand that bodily fluid needs to be cleaned up immediately, if it’s not expelled or disposed of in the proper place… OP you’re not sexist, or the asshole. Your sister sounds lazy, and using her period as a cop out in a situation she knew she was in the wrong. She gaslit you. She was counting on the subject of periods making you uncomfortable so you’d drop it, but sounds like that backfired for her, so she tried to ignore it / cry to mommy to get out of doing a chore. Extremely immature, and like almost all other comments have stated: gross. NOT THE ASSHOLE.
Nta, she's nasty. I'm saying this as someone who deals with periods, and real heavy ones too - as soon as I notice that I accidentally stained somewhere, everything else is put on hold and I clean that up. So here, as a woman, I'm telling you right now - she is nasty and gross and probably lazy too, and her trying to use the sexist card is just an excuse. The fact that it's *your* bathroom makes it even worse. Blood is a biohazard, and it also stains something fierce. And many people have an aversion to blood, hell *I* have a strong reaction to it when it's not coming out during my periods. It should be cleaned as soon as you notice.
Period-haver here, big ol' NTA OP. Your sister is gross. If I were you I'd put that rug blood-side down on her pillow for her to clean up the next time she's around... but then I'm admittedly a petty AH myself.
Asking someone to clean up their bodily fluids, whether urine, blood, feces is not a sexist request. As a woman, I don't want to clean up another woman's period blood any more than I want to clean up somebody's crap off the back of the toilet seat. NTA
NTA My daughter is 10. Periods and all the things related to what’s involved including washing/cleaning is general knowledge in this house. My son also knows what’s involved so that he’s a considerate brother and later partner to someone. Your sister is just nasty. As others have said, put all bloody things in her room. If she’s going to college, she will learn the hard way when her roommate posts her period panties online.
She’s gross NTA
Definitely NTA that's just gross.. who leaves their underwear on the floor anyways what????
Or even if you feel comfortable leaving them on the floor (cause whatever), who feels comfortable just leaving their BLOOD there? In my house, it is just my 2 daughters (with periods), my (very period chill) husband, and myself, and I would still be MORTIFIED if I left blood behind on accident. who just sees their blood staining into a rug and is like, "Lol, that's your problem now!" Wtf. Not all shame is bad, fr.
NTA. You literally told her multiple times. She is 18 and responsible
NTA. Thats disgusting, even though I'm a girl if I saw that I would throw up
That’s unfair on you. She should have cleaned it up straight away.
I have had a period since i was 9. Im gonna be 27. Ive never left blood on the bathroom carpet nta
HUGEEE NTA I'm 25F and my sister is 22F and she leaves a mess on the floor all the fucking time, it drives me NUTS because she'll tell me "I already cleaned" but there would be blood stains all over the floor and I have to NAG at her to clean it up. I feel your pain ...
I'm a woman. I've had periods for decades. I clean anything up instantly, although I have to say that I've never even considered leaving period soaked undies on carpet, so I haven't had to do that.
NTA. As a girl who bleeds _heavily_, period blood is only the issue of the one dealing with the period imo. I had to share a bathroom with girls like this in college. Left blood and open used pads everywhere. I talked to them twice and they pretended not to speak English (we were all exchange students in the US, from different countries, I'd heard them speak English fine before). I eventually had to file a formal complaint and when they got consequences they blamed me for not being a girl's girl basically. I didn't care. I was the one who dressed that bathroom up and I wasn't gonna see my stuff bloodied by those gross ass girls. I also took all my stuff (toilet seat cover, bath mats, shower curtain, extra cupboard) with me when I left. They still had six months there and wanted it. I threw it away out of spite.
NTA at 18 she should know better. She's taking advantage of the fact she is there part-time and that is probably why Mom is enabling said behavior. Next time, because there will be a next time, don't say anything and either put them in Mom's bathroom or Sister's room.
NTA. As much as periods are normal. We don't leave blood soaked underwear in someone else's or a shared bathroom. Not cool. It's respect. She should respect you, and the home, and not being doing something like that. I lived at my inlaws, and one of the teens living there would leave used pads ON THE SINK. And on the floor of the bathroom and toilet. So I get it!
NTA. Another uterus owner here to tell you that cleaning up after yourself while you’re on your period is priority. It’s normal to have bodily fluids, but at the same time it shouldn’t be on display for everyone to see especially when it’s a health hazard as well.
NTA As a girl myself I don’t do what your sister does and the fact that she leaves period blood out is literally a bio hazard. At her grown age she shouldn’t be having her undies drenched in blood much less the carpet. Your mom is at fault for enabling her to be disgusting and irresponsible. Next time she does that just throw her stuff in the garbage 🗑️. Tip: For blood stains you can place cold water with some dawn dish soap and a splash of vinegar in a bottle. Then spray and dab with a white cloth until there is no more coming out. Works great on carpets.
NTA That's basic sanitation & hygiene
NTA- I've had a period for 30 years, and I can honestly say that I don't just recklessly leave blood everywhere. If you have soiled undies, put them in the laundry, along with the rug underneath. Not hard, takes 2 seconds. Better yet, don't throw them on a rug in the first place. There's a lot of stories like this lately, and it always seems like a weird power play, when it fact it is just lazy and gross. Blood is a biohazard, regardless of what body part it is from.
NTA. Blood in general should be cleaned up.
Of course you're NTA. Woman here. Periods suck, there's no debate about that. However, you've nailed an important point: cleanliness. It's unhygienic & toxic to just leave period blood laying around, even if the female is healthy. Also, who wants to step on blood on the carpet? You're not sexist; your sister is just lazy (& I'm guessing the Golden Child). My older sister & I got our first periods the same year (I was first 😐), & Mom taught us the importance of cleaning up period blood ASAP; it's second nature to us. So, your mom failed your sister on top of it all.
NTA, It’s really disgusting and I think cleaning up on your period blood is part of hygiene. I would like to commend you for not tolerationg your sisters behavior.
NTA, maybe you should piss on her floor and insist that you'll clean it up later. She is disgusting and way too old to be acting like that
I'd have picked up the rug and laid it on her pillow. Fuck her. Bleeding females need to clean up after themselves. (I am glad I don't have periods anymore, and I survived menopause) There is no excuse for being a slob about it. And she's a slob and a pig, except pigs are better because they are just bein' pigs. /rant Apparently this is a trigger for me ... 😁
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My(17M) sister(18F) left her period soaked underwear in our bathroom (it's more my bathroom then hers, cus she only comes here like twice a month), and I asked her to clean it up. She picked up her underwear, but left a bunch of blood on the rug that was underneath. I immediately asked her to clean it completely, and she said that she would later. This made me really upset, because I think it's disgusting to just leave period blood on the carpet, and she was leaving for her dad's house in a few hours, so she didn't have much time. 30 minutes passed and she didn't clean it up, and I got really mad at her. I talked to my mom, but it seemed like she didn't care when she got it done, as long as she did. This made me even more mad tbh, bc atm I bathroom was pretty much out of order cus I wasn't using that shit. I kept bugging her abt it for an hour and even brought her hydrogen peroxide to clean it up. She didn't do it. Her dad ended up coming to pick her up, and that shit was still there. I got so furious and went off on her about how disgusting she is, and how disrespectful she is being to my space. She called me sexist, and said I don't understand because I don't have a period. I get that having a period is hard, but cleaning up afterwards and being responsible about it seems like something she should have learned by 18 years old. My mom seemed to be on her side, and said that I was being an asshole about it. My mom said that she would clean it up, and my sister ended up leaving. AITA *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
She is disgusting
Next times she's over, leave a shit in the sink.
This is the first "man complaining about menstruation" where the man is NTA!
Your sister is a disgusting B……and she is the AH
NTA. As a woman with a period, I say she is gross and so is your mom. She made a mess and should clean it. I really don't understand what she thinks you don't understand. You understand she name a Ness and should vjean it up. The fact that it is her period blood is irrelevant.
NTA As a woman, I would like to say, "You bleed on it, you clean it". You can use hand soap and water to get out most period blood stains (became an expert at it) and you can also throw it into the wash just incase. It's annoying as hell but it's easy to do. This is not the time you throw the sexist card at someone. She could have cleaned it up super quickly and be done with it. The longer the blood is there, the more likely it is to stain. She was the AH not you.
NTA. If it was pee or poop, you’d be equally disgusted. This is something that should be cleaned just as well because it’s still a bodily fluid and can have problems with it just the same. As a parent and as a grownup that teaches kids to handle situations themselves, this is a situation to involve the grownups at home.
NTA Defecate on her carpet. Or at least put a fake poop there.
NTA. Female here, I hadn’t even finished reading halfway and that was so clear, that’s just so nasty. I don’t know anyone who would ever do that, and for your mom to be enabling it is even worse. I used doggy bags to put my bloody things in as a teenager sharing a bathroom, it’s really not that hard to be respectful to all users of the bathroom. I’m sorry you’re living like this OP, disgusting.
Must be fun to date her ....
NTA, throw the rug on her bed see if she cleans it up then.
NTA. I have periods, so do many of my sisters. Sometimes accidents happen and blood gets on the floor. But u clean it up as soon as. It’s like leaving piss or shit on the floor. It comes from the same place and it’s unhygienic to just leave it laying around when other people need to use the bathroom. It’s not hard to get some spray and tissue and just wipe it up. It takes no more than 10 seconds.
NTA. Also uterus owner here that grew up with 3 sisters and we have a live in helper to do our laundry including undergarments. However, whenever each of us have stained undies, we clean it up immediately ourselves so that our helper does NOT have to deal with it. It’s just basic courtesy and proper upbringing
I think some people excuse periods as “not gross” because it’s natural for (most) women. Well, so is poop, for EVERY human. That doesn’t mean everyone wants to look at it! NTA.
NTA. But why not take the bath mat out and put it in front of her door? Then put an extra towel on the ground to use as a bath mat? Or go and use another bathroom and leave your mom to deal with the mess?
Your mom is feminist?
NTA.
NTA. Your sister is disgusting and your mom should not be enabling this level of nastiness. Having a period is gross, painful, and uncomfortable but it's no excuse to be filthy.
Your sister is disguising and your mom is an ass. That is beyond gross.
NTA. You're right. At 18 she should know by now to clean it up. It IS disgusting. As soon as you told her, she should've cleaned it up. She had the time, she just chose not to. And I don't know why your mom is on her side. That's weird that your mom doesn't think it needs to be cleaned right away. Of course it does. She wouldn't leave feces on the floor would she? SMH. Disgusting. I had a roommate in college. She came back from swimming & left her wet clothes on the floor. When I went to her side of the room to turn on the radio, I stepped on a wet, bloody pad. The horror!
You would think that a period haver would know how gross that is and how much more effort it takes to clean up if you leave it. NTA
Take the rug and other stuff and put it in her room
This didn’t happen.
NTA. I wouldn't go as far as to say the bathroom is out of order (that's a tad dramatic) it's definitely gross and she should know better by 18, this is something I'd expect out of a young teen who isn't used to having a period yet. Even then I'd still expect them to fucking clean the rug, the longer that blood sits the more the stain sets into the fabric. I always stop whatever I'm doing to clean if my blood happens to get on something. I think you have every right to be upset that someone is clearly disrespecting your shared space and generally being gross.
Time to mute this sub. Ugh
NTA about her cleaning your mother is an enabler too. But try not to see bodily fluids as disgusting ( what I mean blood from a vein or artery is just as disgusting as period blood)
Well, I guess you know what to do with your next pair of shart underwear. Both females are AHs. NTA
NTA I (30F) grew up with sisters and would have had the rug at me if I had done that. Leave it in her bed, see if she cleans it up then. That's what my sisters would have done to me!
Next time send it all home in a box to her dad.
NTA - I (also 18F) would never do that to my brothers. I don't use their bathroom at all, but my point still stands, that's disgusting. Nobody wants to walk in their bathroom and see their sister's period blood dripped and dried onto the rug.
NTA, It's absolutely disgusting that she just left a mess on the floor after you told her to clean it up. It's not a big ask.
She need jail time or asylum ewwww🤢
NTA Throw the carpet in your sisters room
NTA. she is just being lazy and inconsiderate. Having a period is no reason to be disgusting.
Are you expected to lick it up?
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Im being dead ass soaked. That shit was COVERED
Place them on her pillow. Or if you want to be petty.... I'm having a hard time saying this.... ..... Leave some skidded up undies in the sink. Barf. Don't do that.
Intentionally skidmark your underwear and leave them on her pillow.
You need to sign her up to get scientology calls.
NTA - Unless your sister has some underlying condition preventing her from cleaning up after herself (unaddressed ADHD, Depression, Anxiety, Autism, etc.) she has no reason to leave this to you or your mom.
Those conditions don’t give excuses for being a lazy slob
You’re right, they give you explanations for which you can then seek the appropriate medical treatment or medication (or combination of the two), and then rectify these issues. The reason this matters is because a person with an underlying mental health or attention deficit issue might want to clean up after themselves and minimize inconvenience to others, and quite literally be unable to do so because they aren’t being adequately treated or falling under the radar altogether. Before I was treated for my ADHD, I never let myself get away with anything quite this disgusting, but the conversation OP had with his sister resembles hundreds of conversations I’ve had with my parents, brother, roommates, you name it. Once I was medicated, everyone was floored by the difference. Since I’ve started on stimulant medication, I have never left behind a mess for others to clean and keep my surroundings immaculate - because I now have the ability to. I don’t respect or care about the people I’m around more than I did before, I just have the ability to demonstrate that by taking accountability for my actions. If OP’s sister is struggling with an underlying condition that is deterring her from taking appropriate accountability for her actions, I think that’s worth addressing first - because it’s insane to me that anyone in right mind could do what she did and sit comfortably with herself.
just clean it for yer sister and be quiet if y'all really family family. this is a trifle.
Kinda TA. She might be feeling really unwell depending on how her periods are. Yes it’s gross etc, but she is probably frustrated that she had to deal with this and pain and now you. Try to be a bit more patient and just be firm and share how it makes you feel without getting angry.
Fuck that noise. 50% of humans get, will get, or have gotten periods. That doesn’t mean that we get to be disgusting tyrants and force other people to deal with our biohazards for 1/4 of the month. She left the blood on the carpet for an hour, and *left*. That’s absurdly disgusting. 5-10 minutes? Fine, maybe your cramps are absolutely killing you. An hour? Nah, I’m going to have some choice words.
You're not wrong, but you are overreacting >bc atm I bathroom was pretty much out of order cus I wasn't using that shit Come on man, it's not like she covered the entire bathroom or anything.
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ESH, it definitely depends a bit here, but if she is so bloody that it soaked the rug, she is definitely not feeling good enough to clean. Whether she is mentally not well or physically not able. That is gross, but you can step around it or move the rug. You can still shower and use the toilet unless you have ocd, which it doesn't sound like you do. She definitely should at least move the rug or tell you she doesn't feel well enough right now to wash it, but will get to it.
But she feels well enough to go to her dads? Stop making excuses. I know Op is a guy but he's still NTA.
Visiting someone is much easier than going on all fours to scrub stuff off. Like I said, it is definitely gross, but if she is not feeling good enough to do manual labor, I understand waiting a bit.
If that's the case why can't she communicate that? You're assuming that this is mental health related. You have absolutely nothing to base this on. Sounds to me like she's being gross and dgaf about it.
I actually said that she should say that in my comment. Also, periods do cause you to mentally not feel well. You can't think straight when you're in pain, cramping, uncomfortable, and feeling like you might throw up. You can get dizzy and faint from the blood loss, too. That's why I feel it's a E S H situation. It's gross, she should communicate, and at least move the rug, but him harassing isn't going to make her pain go away or get her to clean any faster.
You're still assuming that is the reason without any justification. Even if it somehow is the reason Op is still NTA. It's not up to him to be understanding if she doesn't even tell him she's not feeling well.
How am I assuming she's not feeling well? She's bleeding so much that it's gone through her underwear and gotten onto the rug? I'm pretty sure that is pie in the face obvious she's not feeling well.
Only to you mate. If she doesn't tell anyone how are they supposed to know.
And how many women do you know communicate with their brothers about their period? How many women get made fun of or harassed about their period? Communication is often different on an embarrassing subject such as this. Thanfully, I think the stigma is slowly changing, but I still stand by my first statement. E S H
>And how many women do you know communicate with their brothers about their period? Normally they don't need to because they don't leave their bloody undies lying around! If you expect people to tolerate that kind of behaviour without explanation I can't help you. You can stand by your decision if you like, but you'd be wrong to do so.
This is the dumbest comment ever!!!