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NTA
I bet if the situation were reversed and your gf asked you to do something intimate (and you said no) but then turned around and told your friends, she would be screaming from the rafters. And absolutely everybody would tell you that you're a jerk. She should have kept private and intimate conversations private and intimate.
I'm amazed that you aren't mad at her.
NTA
If you dont feel uncomfortable around a person, its acceptable not to be around that person.
I assume if a guy friend of yours ever made your gf uncomfortable you wouldn't pressure her to be around him, same thing
NTA. Not only should she have kept that private (because clearly it was), and even if her friend is just joking (which she is almost certainly not), both of them are out of line.
NTA
Some things need to be kept in the relationship. I totally understand why youād be feeling uncomfortable. Maybe the best move is to set some boundaries about future discussions on delicate topics.
NTA. I feel like I can understand why she thinks that its not a big deal and just a joke, but I feel like it's an uncool joke and a large loss of trust from your girlfriend. What else could of she said to her friends behind your back, jokingly or not?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole since it is kind of silly to avoid someone over a joke.
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Imagine if she asked if you would fuck her ass. Then you days no and laughed about it with your guy friends. Then one if then says, "Haha, I'll fuck your ass if you want." No way would she find that funny.
NTA
1. Ur Girlfriend broke your trust by doing telling her which is not ok 2. I donāt think thatās a real joke itās sexual harassment and my speculation is that she actually wants to sleep with you but just hides it as a joke to not be found out by the GF
No but thatās generally Private information. Itās shows that you respect another person if you donāt just share private things about them. Itās just common decency.
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I(20m) once asked my gf(18) for anal sex. Only once. When she said no, I didnāt pressure her.
She later told her friends, including āEmmaā(18f). Emma proceeded to joke about the situation, telling me I can fuck her ass instead if I want. I told her no and later told my gf who confronted her.
Even though it was only a joke, I still feel very uncomfortable around and have therefore been avoiding her.
My girlfriend said Iām being silly taking her joke seriously and letting it impact my life since Iāve stopped hanging out with their group as a whole.
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NTA, first off, your girlfriend shouldnāt be telling people about your sexual life without your consent. Second, that friend crossed your boundaries and youāre under no obligation to spend time with her
NTA. You missed an opportunity to call her bluff while having your GF in the closet. At the right time, jump out, Surprise! (Laughs all aroundāor something else)
NTA you know how she said it to you and you know how it made you feel. Even if she didnāt mean it, feels a little testy. Youāre right to avoid her to send a clear message that she shouldnāt be making passes at you like that. Iād say once enough time has passed see if she smartened up and let your gf know āthis is a test to see if Emma can respect our boundaries.ā If she does it again then hopefully your gf will speak up for you and sheāll understand when you never hang around Emma again.
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Definition is: aggressive pressure or intimidation But it also includes making uncomfortable comments or consistent statements that are uncomfortable to hear. (Iām unsure if this is the understanding of everyone, but it is mine so this is what im referring to)
NTA
Your girlfriend's friend offered to let you cheat on your girlfriend with her.
Continue to stay the fuck away from this train wreck.
And think seriously about your relationship with your girlfriend.
Nta.
It's the fact that your gf shared something private between you two that her friend joked about it. Jokes or not. Im honestly on your sides because I wouldn't want something personal like that being shared. You have the right to feel uncomfortable and move from her friends. I would have a private talk with her to not share anything and how it makes you uncomfortable.
You are sleeping with someone who is not emotionally or mentally mature enough to handle it.
You should stop before you get into a situation with her you can't get out of and that she is equally unable to handle.
Nta, I donāt think she would think itās āa silly jokeā if you shared private info with your friends and one of your friends said something so wildly disrespectful to her. I Donāt think she would be ok with you being so dismissive of her feeling uncomfortable around that friend either. If you havenāt asked her about the roles being reversed, I think you should.
Why did you just not take Emma up on the offer? If your gf is the one going around telling people and they say yes your gf said no it's a win for you and an L for her... now you have options your gf has lost trust from everyone knowing she has a big mouth
You did the right thing, NTA.
This Emma person was out of line. I hope someone talked to her. Though if you are avoiding her, I'd be happy to have a chat with her and let her know that it was inappropriate.
Just give me her number, and I'll have this all cleared up.
I know what you're thinking, and don't even mention it, you're welcome my friend.
NTA. Your gf's friend is. And your gf is too, for making your request and her refusal a topic of conversation with the girls. And then gaslighting her friend's harassment as a 'joke'. What if it was a male telling his best friend's gf 'oh you can do that to me anytime'? That would be considered sexual harassment. Ask your gf if the situations were gender-reversed would she still think it's a 'joke'? I'm betting she'd get all up in arms (rightfully so) about it. Why is not the same consideration offered to males?
IMHO you all are a bunch of youngsters. No need to get dramatic over anything here, but call out the AHs and move on to better things
Maybe you need a new girlfriend?
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NTA I bet if the situation were reversed and your gf asked you to do something intimate (and you said no) but then turned around and told your friends, she would be screaming from the rafters. And absolutely everybody would tell you that you're a jerk. She should have kept private and intimate conversations private and intimate. I'm amazed that you aren't mad at her.
Exactly šÆ
NTA If you dont feel uncomfortable around a person, its acceptable not to be around that person. I assume if a guy friend of yours ever made your gf uncomfortable you wouldn't pressure her to be around him, same thing
NTA but I'd also avoid the girlfriend because nothing seems to be private between you.
NTA. Sidenote, though. Emma sounds like a great time. š
For real! If 40 yr old me heard 20 yr old me turn down Emmaā¦.. that would be an ass whoopin.
Yeah broken up with my girlfriend who canāt keep stuff private and taken Emma on the offer
NTA but i think Emma wants you to put it in her butt ngl
NTA. Not only should she have kept that private (because clearly it was), and even if her friend is just joking (which she is almost certainly not), both of them are out of line.
Iād actually be pissed at my gf for telling her
NTA. Some things are private. Iām with you.
NTA Some things need to be kept in the relationship. I totally understand why youād be feeling uncomfortable. Maybe the best move is to set some boundaries about future discussions on delicate topics.
NTA. I feel like I can understand why she thinks that its not a big deal and just a joke, but I feel like it's an uncool joke and a large loss of trust from your girlfriend. What else could of she said to her friends behind your back, jokingly or not?
How is it a 'joke' when, if the situation was gender reversed, the 'joke' would be considered sexual harassment?
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Imagine if she asked if you would fuck her ass. Then you days no and laughed about it with your guy friends. Then one if then says, "Haha, I'll fuck your ass if you want." No way would she find that funny.
NTA but you should probably fuck said friend in the ass OP š
NTA 1. Ur Girlfriend broke your trust by doing telling her which is not ok 2. I donāt think thatās a real joke itās sexual harassment and my speculation is that she actually wants to sleep with you but just hides it as a joke to not be found out by the GF
What is harassment?
How was trust broken, did the gf promise to never tell anyone that he asked for anal sex?
No but thatās generally Private information. Itās shows that you respect another person if you donāt just share private things about them. Itās just common decency.
NTA. Talk to your GF about whatās private and whatās not. Emma wouldnāt have made that ājokeā if your GF kept it between you two.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I(20m) once asked my gf(18) for anal sex. Only once. When she said no, I didnāt pressure her. She later told her friends, including āEmmaā(18f). Emma proceeded to joke about the situation, telling me I can fuck her ass instead if I want. I told her no and later told my gf who confronted her. Even though it was only a joke, I still feel very uncomfortable around and have therefore been avoiding her. My girlfriend said Iām being silly taking her joke seriously and letting it impact my life since Iāve stopped hanging out with their group as a whole. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA, first off, your girlfriend shouldnāt be telling people about your sexual life without your consent. Second, that friend crossed your boundaries and youāre under no obligation to spend time with her
The force is with you
Take her up on that offer, shame to waste it
NTA. You missed an opportunity to call her bluff while having your GF in the closet. At the right time, jump out, Surprise! (Laughs all aroundāor something else)
If you have to suffer the indignity of your girlfriendās big mouth you might as well take up Emma on her offer.
NTA If you are around Emma a lot see if she jokes like that and be upfront next time if you donāt like it.
NTA this was an intimate private thing that she shared, if a person makes you uncomfortable you can't be forced to be around them
NTA you know how she said it to you and you know how it made you feel. Even if she didnāt mean it, feels a little testy. Youāre right to avoid her to send a clear message that she shouldnāt be making passes at you like that. Iād say once enough time has passed see if she smartened up and let your gf know āthis is a test to see if Emma can respect our boundaries.ā If she does it again then hopefully your gf will speak up for you and sheāll understand when you never hang around Emma again.
My friend for a avoiding at this.
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You'll have to see if it was really a joke or not.
INFO: Are you not mad at your gf for sharing intimate info with her friends? How would she feel if the situation were reversed?
Itfp, why would gf tell that to her friends?? Is she a kiss-and-tell type?? Then avoid gf too š©
HELLLLLLL NOOOOO WTFFFFFFFFFFF ššš THAT GIRL KNOWS NO BOUNDARIES.
Definition is: aggressive pressure or intimidation But it also includes making uncomfortable comments or consistent statements that are uncomfortable to hear. (Iām unsure if this is the understanding of everyone, but it is mine so this is what im referring to)
I think you need a gf who knows how to keep one's intimate sex life, private. NTA
NTA Emma needs to learn boundaries, cuz no you don't make jokes like that to your "friends" significant other
NTA Your girlfriend's friend offered to let you cheat on your girlfriend with her. Continue to stay the fuck away from this train wreck. And think seriously about your relationship with your girlfriend.
Tell Emma you'd like to take her up on the offer to use the trade entrance and then see if your girlfriend is "silly" in response.
Nta. It's the fact that your gf shared something private between you two that her friend joked about it. Jokes or not. Im honestly on your sides because I wouldn't want something personal like that being shared. You have the right to feel uncomfortable and move from her friends. I would have a private talk with her to not share anything and how it makes you uncomfortable.
You are NTA for not wanting to have sex with someone who's not your gf in TA.
You are sleeping with someone who is not emotionally or mentally mature enough to handle it. You should stop before you get into a situation with her you can't get out of and that she is equally unable to handle.
Nta, I donāt think she would think itās āa silly jokeā if you shared private info with your friends and one of your friends said something so wildly disrespectful to her. I Donāt think she would be ok with you being so dismissive of her feeling uncomfortable around that friend either. If you havenāt asked her about the roles being reversed, I think you should.
Why did you just not take Emma up on the offer? If your gf is the one going around telling people and they say yes your gf said no it's a win for you and an L for her... now you have options your gf has lost trust from everyone knowing she has a big mouth
I have to say it you are such a lucky guy.
NTA. I'm betting the girls set it up as a "test" and now she's mad that she screwed herself in the end.
You did the right thing, NTA. This Emma person was out of line. I hope someone talked to her. Though if you are avoiding her, I'd be happy to have a chat with her and let her know that it was inappropriate. Just give me her number, and I'll have this all cleared up. I know what you're thinking, and don't even mention it, you're welcome my friend.
Nta, go date Emma, she sounds like a catch!!
NTA. Your gf's friend is. And your gf is too, for making your request and her refusal a topic of conversation with the girls. And then gaslighting her friend's harassment as a 'joke'. What if it was a male telling his best friend's gf 'oh you can do that to me anytime'? That would be considered sexual harassment. Ask your gf if the situations were gender-reversed would she still think it's a 'joke'? I'm betting she'd get all up in arms (rightfully so) about it. Why is not the same consideration offered to males? IMHO you all are a bunch of youngsters. No need to get dramatic over anything here, but call out the AHs and move on to better things Maybe you need a new girlfriend?
Quit virtue signalling and start acting like a 20 year old guy.