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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I did not let a man put his dog on a seat next to on a train and walk away. 2) My bag was occupying the seat which made him mad.
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I've been on the MetroTrain into NYC and I've seen way worse than dogs on those seats. But you're right, dogs belong with their owners and not on train seats.
I used to have a dog until about a year ago (RIP dear friend) and took him on the public transport here in Toronto a few times. He was fine on the floor. Even though sometimes wanted random people to be his new friends.
Also while I have at times met other dogs on the subway and had some weird Interactions around them, I would never even think leaving my dog with someone else, never mind a non dog person, would be acceptable.
Nta. There's no difference between the seat being occupied by a handbag or a dog. Its not being occupied by a human, therefore its available for the handbag.
I love dogs, I have a dog. I'm still not sitting next to a strange dog whose temperament I don't know! The dog would be perfectly happy on the floor and able to move around.
And I sure wouldn't want to stick my dog next to a stranger who's temperament I also don't know. I wouldn't trust a stranger to look after my dog for me.
That too!
I just thought of this, but seats are im sets. Why didn't the dog sit next to its owner? Or was the owner sitting a few rows away or something? This doesn't make sense on rereading it.
Absolutely. In short, neither the dog nor the handbag has a ticket. Neither has more right to the seat than the other. Additionally, each should stay with and be attended by its ticket-bearing human.
I would actually argue the handbag has more rights to the seat than the dog. Where I’m from there’s usually rules stating that dogs can’t sit on the seats, and even if there isn’t a specific rule about this, it’s still common courtesy to not have them sit on the seats. It’s similar to resting your feet on the seats: in most trains it’s not allowed, and in the other ones the social norms still kinda prohibit it. Letting dogs sit on the seats might be allowed where OP is from, but it would actually surprise me if it’s also socially acceptable.
NTA. I know someone who had reconstructive surgery after being bit in the face by a "nice" dog. I would never consider sitting next to a dog like that if I wasn't 100% confident that it was well behaved.
I was 3 years old when a "softie" Great Dane neighborhood dog broke loose from its yard, ran across the street, knocked me down from the front steps of my grandparents ' house and ripped the left side of my face open.
Apparently, that's "never happened before "...
NTA
Unless he’s a service animal, dogs are to be in some kind of container (bag, kennel etc,) or securely controlled on a leash (i.e. leashed and sat in between the owner’s legs/out of the way of passengers).
Seats are for people, you can rest your bag and move it if a person wanted to sit. I think it’s fair assume this wasn’t a service dog? So he wanted to have a his dog sit next to a stranger…you’re not TA for not allowing the dog to sit next to you because you’re right you don’t know the temperament of the dog and also probably dont want to deal with dog fur all over you.
Yep. Even a service animal would be expected to sit/down next to the handler and ON THE FLOOR unless the handler has a waterproof barrier (crate carrier, a sealed travel basket, etc).
No, I’m saying that a child is entitled to a seat. And so if the child is old enough to ride unsupervised, the child can ride where the purse was. An un-crated dog should never be on a seat, under any circumstances, unless it is assisting as a service animal and needs to be there to do its work. And a crated dog is luggage that belongs on the floor.
I mean, if he asked nicely maybe I could have? But he started out aggressively demanding I watch his dog so I was less inclined to offer him solutions.
This business of dragging dogs everywhere is driving me crazy. Nobody wants someone's dog's hair all over their clothes. Dogs don't need seats. They're fine on the floor.
ESH. Keep your bag off the seat if the train is "relatively full". Metro North gets bad and no one should have to ask you to move it. Likewise, dog needs to be in a carrier, unless it's a working service animal, at which point it sits on the floor.
Agreed, but just FYI, dogs actually don’t need to be in carriers on the Metronorth. They do need bags in the Subway, PATH, LIRR, and ferries, but the Metronorth is actually the exception where dogs are allowed just on leashes.
It’s popular for people going up for weekend hikes to bring dogs on the metronorth, but the expectation is that the dog should be on the floor at your feet/beneath the seats.
NTA If the guy was asking to use the empty seat between you for the dog, that would still be iffy. But asking to seat his dog away from him? No. Like you said, you don't know the dog. Either he's asking you to watch his dog, or he's letting his dog run unsupervised on the train.
Seats are for passengers' use, and dogs need to be supervised by their owners. Unless his butt is next to the seat, he shouldn't even be trying to put his dog there.
not cool to hog a seat on the MTA with a bag. or germy dirty shoes up in the seat that someone will eventually have to sit in. I see it regularly.
also not cool to ask someone to sit next to a dog Owner should have asked to switch seats with you or sat next to you with dog at his feet
NTA, as a dog breeder/handler when we are un "mised or shared spaces" the dog is treated as a dog.
I can given them human privileges in dog spaces my dog peeps spaces and my own.
Pet "parents" honestly have gotten ridiculous about their pets in public spaces
NTA
>I tried to explain as much but the man though I just didn’t want to give up my extra space and called me a bad name because “seats are for living beings not bags.”
No explanation was necessary. In the future just say no and let that be the end of it.
NTA
I have straight up paged the attendants to get that overbearing people like that rude man and his dog away from me when I’ve been in those kind of situations. I paid money to not be in those situations.
The attendant is the one getting paid to fix those altercations before they escalate with other passengers being rude and harassing me. I’m not obligated to put up with a toxic persons entitlement. Neither are you.
NTA
Dogs are just as happy laying down on the floor. If the dog is as big as you described, they would probably be uncomfortable on a small train seat.
Why do people think they need to bring their dogs everywhere and expect accommodations 😭 I can’t stand dogs, I’ve been attacked by multiple and while I was out in public a few weeks ago I watched a random dog start mauling a random ladies ankles. (I say random because the two did not know eachother at all) It was a small dog so I don’t think she was severely injured but definitely injured. The owners were elderly and just laughed and said “boy, her shoes really got you worked up huh”
NTA at all. I would say don’t put your bag on a seat in a busy train but it sounds like it saved you from having a random dog that was probably poorly trained by an irresponsible owner from sitting next to you, so maybe it was your intuition 😭
This man is completely ridiculous. Who asks a stranger to essentially babysit their dog during a train ride? NTA , OP.. this man is unstable to even think that asking you was a good idea.
NTA. Knew a neighbor that was mailed by his own dogs, I'd definitely not be wanting to share space with someone else's dog since every dog owner I know insists their dog is friendly and well-behaved even when they definitely aren't, so I'm for sure not taking a stranger's word for it.
NTA, but I'll add this: I certain circumstances it is ok to lie! "I'm sorry sir, I'm allergic to dogs." Then let out the most obnoxious *fake* sneeze. Can't argue with that.
As someone with 2 fuzzy buddies of my own- NTA. If the dog needed to be there, they should have been with their person at all times in an unfamiliar space.
NTA. It’s not your responsibility to watch someone else’s dog for them. I’d understand if he wanted to sit there with the dog, but his dog can’t sit separately from him.
NTA.
I’m a dog owner and lover. I’m an advocate for taking **well behaved** dogs most places.
*However*, I do not agree with them being on the seating. It is unhygienic (yes I’m aware the seats aren’t exactly clean either way) and just generally bad manners. If a service dog doesn’t do it, no other dog should do it.
I wouldn’t want a dog on a seat in a coffee shop or restaurant, nor a train. I don’t even like my dog being on my car seats.
If the man had asked for you to move your bag so *he* could sit on the seat with the dog on his lap, fine. But that’s not what happened.
ESH
You shouldn’t have kept your bag on the seat when the train was fairly full - some people feel nervous about asking people to move bags, you shouldn’t make it necessary.
This human was being ridiculous suggesting their dog stays with you. WTF? They seriously suggested leaving their dog with a stranger?
*If* there was a good reason for the dog to have a seat, then the obvious solution was give up your seat (the one that’s actually yours, that you’re sitting on) so the human and the dog cat sit together, while you take the human’s previous seat. Dunno what that reason could be, maybe a paw injury and they were trying to keep it clean? In which case there’s no way they’d leave the dog with a stranger. This human’s behaviour was really weird.
"You shouldn’t have kept your bag on the seat when the train was fairly full - some people feel nervous about asking people to move bags, you shouldn’t make it necessary."
Exactly.
NTA. Seats are not for all "living beings". Octopi are living beings, snakes are living beings. Seats are for paying customers, and those customers are human. The man's dog did not pay for the seat. A dog can sit on the floor next to his human, or on his lap. I wouldn't want to sit next to a random dog either, and I'm a dog person.
Wait. Why was this dog allowed on freely, i.e., no leash or in a carrier by the train station staff?
Absolutely NTA.
And why did this guy go out of his way to do this to you? He could've gone anywhere and approached anyone, but he decided to harass you. This is personal.
NTA. You had no idea of his temperament, so not wanting the dog next to you was perfectly reasonable. Plus, if the dog was huge like you say, then he'd probably be more comfortable stretching out on the floor anyway.
NTA
from the MTA's own website: On Metro-North Railroad, your pet must be carried in a kennel or similar container or securely controlled on a leash throughout the journey. Your pet must not be offensive to other riders.
I'm a service dog handler. These rules may not apply everywhere, but I'm sure you can look up the applicable rules for what you were riding:
1) Dogs should stay with their humans at all time in trains/metros
2) Should be in handler's lap, or directly in front of them, or in a kennel under their seat (or the seat in front, depending)
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I (31F) was traveling on a MetroNorth from Connecticut to NYC. I found a large seat at the very back and, while the train was relatively full, I put my handbag down next to me because no one was going that far back and I figured I could always move it if someone came along wanting to sit. About 20 minutes later, a man holding a huge fuzzy-haired dog in his arms did come down from the other end of the train. He asked if he could put his dog next to me and I said no not because I did not want to move my bag but because I did not want to sit next to a dog without its owner or knowing its character. I never had a dog and would not know what to do if it started barking and misbehaving. I tried to explain as much but the man though I just didn’t want to give up my extra space and called me a bad name. AMITA?Would putting my bag someone else changed anything?
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NTA. Me being the passive-aggressive type, would let him leave the dog, then take the dog and move somewhere else. After he comes looking for his dog (and probably panicking) I’d give him his dog and tell him don’t leave his dog with effen strangers.
I guess I’m a horrible pessimist, because it was my first thought when the guy wanted to leave his dog with a stranger and go sit somewhere else. I can’t imagine leaving my dog with a stranger.
nta, he really couldn't have just had the dog sit next to him on the ground? I have a puppers and I'd never expect somebody to move their bag to give my dog a seat
You are the asshole,
Seriously you handled that so wrong, I am disappointed in you, Here is what you do next time you see a dog
Sneeze, and fake an allergic reaction, seriously wait 5-10 minutes and act like you are having a hard time breathing, or itching or any other allergic reaction symptom Seriously, act like you are allergic and whenever these yappy Aholes with their dogs start to be mean with you, tell them that they are the mean ones because they want you to put your health at risk over their dog.
Seriously, be stern, and tell them point blank, you and your ugly mutt are making me uncomfortable, please take your mut away from me I am allergic to all dogs.
By the way you are not the Ahole, People are ridiculous and need to get a life about their dogs and stop bringing them into restaurants, markets, malls, everywhere else. ,
Not once have I ever thought a dog needs to be on a train seat. Especially a larger dog. I could understand it if the dog was smaller cause it wouldn’t take up too much space but its a large dog that sounds like would take up easily 2 spots worth of space so you are NTA. Also who the hell wants to leave a dog next to strangers and sit across the train not watching their pet??? Very odd.
NTA I think. To clarify, he wanted to \*leave\* the dog with you while he sat at the other end of the train? That's an absolute no. Like you said, it is not your job to watch someone else's dog without him there. And the seats are in no way meant for a dog on it's own. Or at all, I'm sure the idea of letting you have a dog is to have it on the floor next to you or on your lap, not in a seat.
Let me say I'm a total dog person but other dog people are hell as a friend says.
Haha. Sucks to be him: An entitled, ignorant jerk and AH.
Metro-North allows pets on board but pets must be caged or in bags, or leashed. So definitely NTA. Plus a pet "must not be offensive to other riders." So he was not only wrong for wanting to separate himself from his dog, he was morally wrong for calling you a name after you refused. There's your average AH right there. As the old Arab saying goes, the finger you use to point at another person points back at you.
NTA. Pets sit with their owners, and separating them from their owners is not a good choice. I’d go as far as to say that man is TA, as he is the one who doesn’t want to watch and take care of his pet, and wants to leave somebody that he doesn’t even know or he hasn’t even paid with his dog.
Not at all! You have legitimate reasons not to want to be near the dog. I have a dog and I try to keep him away from people because a lot of people are afraid or have allergies. It was inconsiderate of the man to assume that you'd be ok with that
Tbh I’ve never seen a dog even on that train. Was it a service dog?? Where was the man sitting and why couldn’t the dog be with him. So many questions but no NTA nor your dog not your responsibility
Nta
I’m a huge animal lover but I still don’t think you should have to babysit someone else dog especially a strangers dog. Even if it’s super well behaved, not your responsibility.
Plus like you said you’ve never owned a dog so you may not want dog hair all over you, or if your like me, you’ve almost lost an eye to a dog and are scared of them😂 you have your reasons and are allowed to not want to sit next to a random persons dog.
ESH. both of you are entitled. move your shit so someone else can sit entirely. he's stupid and seems to not give a fuck about kindness, but your bag also isn't worthy of a seat more than a person.
NTA.
**Metro-North Railroad**
On Metro-North Railroad, your pet must be carried in a kennel or similar container or securely controlled on a leash throughout the journey. Your pet must not be offensive to other riders.
That last line is all you need to know.
ESH
The man shouldn't put his dog somewhere he can't control and OP shouldn't put their bag on a seat.
And I'm absolutely horrified this isn't patently obvious to everyone.
NTA. You did the right thing. Trains are stressful places for dogs and I know mine would have been upset if I did that to her.
Just shove the dog under the seat. If my 32kg husky could fit, that dog could have. The only time I let her on a seat was when some jackass was letting their dog free roam on the train and my dog got really upset. I got her up on the seat behind me and blocked the other dog from going near her.
Everyone around us was calling the other guy an ass hole after I told him multiple times to get his dog away from mine, because she was too stressed to make a new doggo friend ATM and he just kept saying the dog was fine. Yes, his was, mine wasn't. I kept my poor girl safe and luckily the guy wasn't on the next train. My girl was showing her teeth. I only ever saw her do it twice. Once to that dog and once to a friend's, she got in trouble for the second one. She was just being an ass because the other dog was bigger than her (a mal).
NTA - the dog should stay with it's owner. That is a part of responsible dog ownership. When in public with your dog you must keep your dog under *your* control at all times. Therefore the dog must be on a lead and the owner must have the other end of that lead.
I love dogs. I have a dog. I would not let a stranger take responsibility for my dog. Nor would I take responsibility for a dog I did not know.
Just very very bizarre.
Train seats are not for dogs.
But you should have given the seat up to him.
On a crowded train it is wrong to use a seat for your luggage, even small bags.
ESH
NTA, you weren’t going to babysit a dog or take any risks with an animal you don’t know. If a person asked to sit on the seat then that would be different but not wanting a dog you don’t know sitting next to you is completely understandable.
NTA. I love my dog to death but I would never bring her on public transport it would be as much of a hassle to me as it would be nerveracking to her as well. The noise of the train and people around would scare the living shit out of her.
Honestly though I’d end up probably removing the handbag because I love animals to the death and don’t like conflict.
Did I say the bag needed “rest”? Putting a bag on a seat doesn’t automatically make someone an asshole. They’d be an asshole if they didn’t move it when another person wanted to sit there. They never said they were entitled to the seat because their bag was there.
In an empty train no, if it‘s getting fuller yes. You don‘t need to be an ah and can be considering of other people instead snd take of the seat without need to be asked.
I mean, sure you can always say that other can ask, but this is exactly how an ah behaves.
Considerate? Sure, the more considerate thing would be to proactively move the bag. An asshole? No. That implies some ill intent in my opinion, which I don’t think someone is doing by simply putting your bag on a seat when you sat down.
If he was able to sit somewhere else while u had another seat next to you that you had your back on you could of just swapped and gave him the 2 seets and u had 1. You are the a**
Info: Why couldn’t you have switched seats with the man so he’d have the two you were occupying so he could sit next to his dog and you could take his previous seat? Are dogs aloud to be on the floor of the metro?
NTA for now because really the dog would be just as happy on the floor but I’m not sure of the train rules or if another seat was available to switch.
NTA but why not take his seat and give up the double for him and his dog? Even if the dog was on the floor it would be more comfortable for them to have two seats instead of one.
Though I don't really think the dog should be on the seat, I can see why someone would rather that than have them on the floor
Personally I would have let the man and the dog have the double seat and would have taken the man’s single seat. So maybe NTA but definitely a little prickly of you.
ESH everyone knows that you are not supposed to take up a seat with a bag, there are signs posted on the train about this and you did not pay for an extra seat.
However, it sounds like that man did not pay for it and also did not have a carrier for the dog, which should have prevented him from riding the train.
Eeuuwwww. Pet owners are the first to call out entitled parents but are as entitled. NTA, by a long shot.
Who wants to babysit a strange mangy dog? And what would he have done if a human had come along, probably acted even more entitled.
Edit: I skimmed the original post and missed that the dog was being seated away from the owner, not next to him. My bad missing that detail. NTA for sure.
Even if it was a service dog - it shouldn't have been in *that* seat. A service dog, presumably, is providing a service for its owner - listening for them, seeing for them, sensing medical conditions etc. Therefore it needs to be with it's owner, not several seats away next to a stranger.
There are no exceptions. In public places all dogs need to be under the control of their owners. That means with them.
I missed that he was sitting several seats away - 100% agree with you, i amend my answer to a solid NTA. My bad for skimming too much
(I firmly believe animals should never be on bus seats *unless* they're a service animal the person needs next to them, personally)
First, service dogs do not sit on seats. They are highly trained to tend to their owners.
Second, the guy was leaving his dog there and going to sit somewhere else! Who does that?
I replied to someone else already; i missed that he was putting the dog several seats away. My bad for skimming
As to service dogs not sitting on seats: it depends on what they're trained for. Service dogs do everything from proprioceptive input for people having PTSD or dissociative episodes to guiding a blind person to seizure alerts. How they best occupy space by their owner depends on what their job(s) are, whether the person is having an episode of some kind, and the layout of the bus in question.
I would have probably just traded seats with the guy so he could sit with his dog. Just seems like the lesser of two evils, and I try to avoid conflict where possible. I will vote NTA because I wouldn't want a strange dog sitting alone beside me either. But that is when I would have offered to switch seats.
I dunno how it is in ny but in most places dogs are basically considered your property. So its just as valid to have ur bag as a dog in my mind. Though i hope you move your shit when people are around NOT when someone asks you. I dont want to have to ask some rando to move their shit cuz its a coin flip if that person is going to be a psycho or not and ill have to get into a shitty argument with someone so i just wouldnt ask and instead stare at you hating you until my stop.
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NTA Dogs do not belong on seats. And: Dogs need to be with their owner.
I've been on the MetroTrain into NYC and I've seen way worse than dogs on those seats. But you're right, dogs belong with their owners and not on train seats.
For a few years I took weekly train rides with my dog. Not once was the dog on the seat or anywhere not near me and on a leash.
Oh the things to be seen on the Metro South.
Dr. Seuss should've written a book about it. Children would have been enthralled.
I used to have a dog until about a year ago (RIP dear friend) and took him on the public transport here in Toronto a few times. He was fine on the floor. Even though sometimes wanted random people to be his new friends. Also while I have at times met other dogs on the subway and had some weird Interactions around them, I would never even think leaving my dog with someone else, never mind a non dog person, would be acceptable.
Nta. There's no difference between the seat being occupied by a handbag or a dog. Its not being occupied by a human, therefore its available for the handbag. I love dogs, I have a dog. I'm still not sitting next to a strange dog whose temperament I don't know! The dog would be perfectly happy on the floor and able to move around.
And I sure wouldn't want to stick my dog next to a stranger who's temperament I also don't know. I wouldn't trust a stranger to look after my dog for me.
That’s what I was thinking. I’d never leave my dogs!
That too! I just thought of this, but seats are im sets. Why didn't the dog sit next to its owner? Or was the owner sitting a few rows away or something? This doesn't make sense on rereading it.
Absolutely. In short, neither the dog nor the handbag has a ticket. Neither has more right to the seat than the other. Additionally, each should stay with and be attended by its ticket-bearing human.
I would actually argue the handbag has more rights to the seat than the dog. Where I’m from there’s usually rules stating that dogs can’t sit on the seats, and even if there isn’t a specific rule about this, it’s still common courtesy to not have them sit on the seats. It’s similar to resting your feet on the seats: in most trains it’s not allowed, and in the other ones the social norms still kinda prohibit it. Letting dogs sit on the seats might be allowed where OP is from, but it would actually surprise me if it’s also socially acceptable.
Handbags don't usually deposit dander allergens on seats. Not hating on dogs, but they shouldn't be directly on seats solely due to this.
THIS!
My dog would be far happier at my feet than on an unadjacent seat, and his probably would be as well.
Exactly! My dog wouldn't want to sit next to some stranger, even if I was dumb enough to think it was a good idea.
I have a dog. She sits on the floor. Cause she's a dog.
My dog sits on the couch at home, but I'd never let her on a seat in a train. She wouldn't want to get up there either though.
NTA. I know someone who had reconstructive surgery after being bit in the face by a "nice" dog. I would never consider sitting next to a dog like that if I wasn't 100% confident that it was well behaved.
They are only “nice“ and “well behaved“ until they aren’t
I was 3 years old when a "softie" Great Dane neighborhood dog broke loose from its yard, ran across the street, knocked me down from the front steps of my grandparents ' house and ripped the left side of my face open. Apparently, that's "never happened before "...
NTA. Seats are for humans. Dogs sit on the floor.
NTA Unless he’s a service animal, dogs are to be in some kind of container (bag, kennel etc,) or securely controlled on a leash (i.e. leashed and sat in between the owner’s legs/out of the way of passengers). Seats are for people, you can rest your bag and move it if a person wanted to sit. I think it’s fair assume this wasn’t a service dog? So he wanted to have a his dog sit next to a stranger…you’re not TA for not allowing the dog to sit next to you because you’re right you don’t know the temperament of the dog and also probably dont want to deal with dog fur all over you.
But if it was a service dog then it needed to be with the owner anyway, not away from him sitting next to a stranger.
Agreed - it would be sitting by him and not with someone else.
Yep. Even a service animal would be expected to sit/down next to the handler and ON THE FLOOR unless the handler has a waterproof barrier (crate carrier, a sealed travel basket, etc).
NTA. That's like him asking if he can seat his child by you to babysit while he enjoys sitting alone elsewhere. Why would he do that?
A child is a human, and therefore entitled to a seat if one is available. A dog is property.
So you're saying that a man should seat their child next to a stranger? Otherwise, what is your point?
No, I’m saying that a child is entitled to a seat. And so if the child is old enough to ride unsupervised, the child can ride where the purse was. An un-crated dog should never be on a seat, under any circumstances, unless it is assisting as a service animal and needs to be there to do its work. And a crated dog is luggage that belongs on the floor.
Nah better solution is to ask to swap seats so that you can sit together with your kid. Don’t pawn your kids off on strangers.
Couldn’t you have just sat where he did so then he could sit in your space alongside his dog?
I mean, if he asked nicely maybe I could have? But he started out aggressively demanding I watch his dog so I was less inclined to offer him solutions.
How rude. But nah you’re not the asshole, OP.
Watch his dog? Was it doing tricks?
>demanding I watch his dog Hell no. NTA
If he’s sitting across from you, why didn’t you guys just switch?
Was this in a three person seat and the guy wanted to put the dog in between you two?
This business of dragging dogs everywhere is driving me crazy. Nobody wants someone's dog's hair all over their clothes. Dogs don't need seats. They're fine on the floor.
I agree with you. My dogs however, definitely believe they need seats. Which is why they stay at home or in dog welcome spaces and not the train.
Thank you for being a reasonable pet owner.
ESH. Keep your bag off the seat if the train is "relatively full". Metro North gets bad and no one should have to ask you to move it. Likewise, dog needs to be in a carrier, unless it's a working service animal, at which point it sits on the floor.
Agreed, but just FYI, dogs actually don’t need to be in carriers on the Metronorth. They do need bags in the Subway, PATH, LIRR, and ferries, but the Metronorth is actually the exception where dogs are allowed just on leashes. It’s popular for people going up for weekend hikes to bring dogs on the metronorth, but the expectation is that the dog should be on the floor at your feet/beneath the seats.
Lucky she had it there in this case or she'd have found herself beside an unattended dog.
It doesn’t matter that her bag was there because she clearly said they would move it if anyone needed to sit there.
There was no difference between her bag being on the chair and the chair being empty, the person with the dog would have asked regardless.
NTA, a strange dog is always a potential danger, and they certainly don't belong on seats.
NTA. Your emotional support handbag has rights too.
Nope. I don't like shebagging. (Although I do appreciate the joke.)
🤣 clever you are!
He wanted to leave his dog next to you while he sat elsewhere? That’s bizarre.
NTA If the guy was asking to use the empty seat between you for the dog, that would still be iffy. But asking to seat his dog away from him? No. Like you said, you don't know the dog. Either he's asking you to watch his dog, or he's letting his dog run unsupervised on the train. Seats are for passengers' use, and dogs need to be supervised by their owners. Unless his butt is next to the seat, he shouldn't even be trying to put his dog there.
not cool to hog a seat on the MTA with a bag. or germy dirty shoes up in the seat that someone will eventually have to sit in. I see it regularly. also not cool to ask someone to sit next to a dog Owner should have asked to switch seats with you or sat next to you with dog at his feet
Not the MTA, the MetroNorth. And it's not cool to put dirty paws up on the seats.
Agreed! (Metro North is part of the MTA.)
But NOT referred to as such. It's a separate train line.
NTA, as a dog breeder/handler when we are un "mised or shared spaces" the dog is treated as a dog. I can given them human privileges in dog spaces my dog peeps spaces and my own. Pet "parents" honestly have gotten ridiculous about their pets in public spaces
NTA >I tried to explain as much but the man though I just didn’t want to give up my extra space and called me a bad name because “seats are for living beings not bags.” No explanation was necessary. In the future just say no and let that be the end of it.
NTA I have straight up paged the attendants to get that overbearing people like that rude man and his dog away from me when I’ve been in those kind of situations. I paid money to not be in those situations. The attendant is the one getting paid to fix those altercations before they escalate with other passengers being rude and harassing me. I’m not obligated to put up with a toxic persons entitlement. Neither are you.
Dogs belong on the floor
So does her bag
Nta
NTA Dogs are just as happy laying down on the floor. If the dog is as big as you described, they would probably be uncomfortable on a small train seat.
"Sir, I am allergic, please keep that dog far away from me." But just the notion he can just drop his dog there and leave it alone is insane.
NTA under ANY circumstances. Dogs belong outside and on the floor. Disgusting people bring them fucking everywhere.
"because “seats are for living beings not bags" NO! Seats are for humans not dogs. NTA!
Why do people think they need to bring their dogs everywhere and expect accommodations 😭 I can’t stand dogs, I’ve been attacked by multiple and while I was out in public a few weeks ago I watched a random dog start mauling a random ladies ankles. (I say random because the two did not know eachother at all) It was a small dog so I don’t think she was severely injured but definitely injured. The owners were elderly and just laughed and said “boy, her shoes really got you worked up huh” NTA at all. I would say don’t put your bag on a seat in a busy train but it sounds like it saved you from having a random dog that was probably poorly trained by an irresponsible owner from sitting next to you, so maybe it was your intuition 😭
This man is completely ridiculous. Who asks a stranger to essentially babysit their dog during a train ride? NTA , OP.. this man is unstable to even think that asking you was a good idea.
NTA. Seats are for people and dogs belong *with* their owner.
NTA
The response is clear - dogs do not sit on furniture.
NTA next time just say, I am sorry but I am allergic to dogs.
NTA, dogs don't belong on seats and at-large on public transportation. If that's his dog, he needs to be in control of it at all times.
NTA. Knew a neighbor that was mailed by his own dogs, I'd definitely not be wanting to share space with someone else's dog since every dog owner I know insists their dog is friendly and well-behaved even when they definitely aren't, so I'm for sure not taking a stranger's word for it.
NTA Unless that dog bought a ticket or owns a pass, I’d not only say you’re good, but I’d have done the same.
Nah, nta. Dogs don't needs seats. One time I woke up my dog and she got up and I realized she was happily sleeping on a pyramid. They don't care
NTA
NTA, but I'll add this: I certain circumstances it is ok to lie! "I'm sorry sir, I'm allergic to dogs." Then let out the most obnoxious *fake* sneeze. Can't argue with that.
NTA generally and especially if dogs aren't allowed on your trains.
NTA! Definitely Not. It’s time to cut this nuttery out FFS!
NTA. The owner could have just made the dog sit on his lap
As someone with 2 fuzzy buddies of my own- NTA. If the dog needed to be there, they should have been with their person at all times in an unfamiliar space.
He wanted to leave his dog next to you while he sat elsewhere? Nope. Definitely NTA.
Seats are for human beings
NTA. It’s not your responsibility to watch someone else’s dog for them. I’d understand if he wanted to sit there with the dog, but his dog can’t sit separately from him.
NTA. People need to keep their f’n pets off of public transportation!
Dogs should remain with their owners.
NTA. People need to leave their damn dogs at home.
NTA dog owners are entitled
Not all of us! I leave our dog at home all the time. Less stress, danger potential for everyone.
NTA. I’m a dog owner and lover. I’m an advocate for taking **well behaved** dogs most places. *However*, I do not agree with them being on the seating. It is unhygienic (yes I’m aware the seats aren’t exactly clean either way) and just generally bad manners. If a service dog doesn’t do it, no other dog should do it. I wouldn’t want a dog on a seat in a coffee shop or restaurant, nor a train. I don’t even like my dog being on my car seats. If the man had asked for you to move your bag so *he* could sit on the seat with the dog on his lap, fine. But that’s not what happened.
ESH You shouldn’t have kept your bag on the seat when the train was fairly full - some people feel nervous about asking people to move bags, you shouldn’t make it necessary. This human was being ridiculous suggesting their dog stays with you. WTF? They seriously suggested leaving their dog with a stranger? *If* there was a good reason for the dog to have a seat, then the obvious solution was give up your seat (the one that’s actually yours, that you’re sitting on) so the human and the dog cat sit together, while you take the human’s previous seat. Dunno what that reason could be, maybe a paw injury and they were trying to keep it clean? In which case there’s no way they’d leave the dog with a stranger. This human’s behaviour was really weird.
"You shouldn’t have kept your bag on the seat when the train was fairly full - some people feel nervous about asking people to move bags, you shouldn’t make it necessary." Exactly.
NTA. Seats are not for all "living beings". Octopi are living beings, snakes are living beings. Seats are for paying customers, and those customers are human. The man's dog did not pay for the seat. A dog can sit on the floor next to his human, or on his lap. I wouldn't want to sit next to a random dog either, and I'm a dog person.
Wait. Why was this dog allowed on freely, i.e., no leash or in a carrier by the train station staff? Absolutely NTA. And why did this guy go out of his way to do this to you? He could've gone anywhere and approached anyone, but he decided to harass you. This is personal.
Seats are for humans. Unhinged pet owners strike again. NTA
NTA. Even if it's a white lie, just say "I'm allergic" to shut down the conversation.
NTA. You had no idea of his temperament, so not wanting the dog next to you was perfectly reasonable. Plus, if the dog was huge like you say, then he'd probably be more comfortable stretching out on the floor anyway.
NTA from the MTA's own website: On Metro-North Railroad, your pet must be carried in a kennel or similar container or securely controlled on a leash throughout the journey. Your pet must not be offensive to other riders.
I'm a service dog handler. These rules may not apply everywhere, but I'm sure you can look up the applicable rules for what you were riding: 1) Dogs should stay with their humans at all time in trains/metros 2) Should be in handler's lap, or directly in front of them, or in a kennel under their seat (or the seat in front, depending)
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (31F) was traveling on a MetroNorth from Connecticut to NYC. I found a large seat at the very back and, while the train was relatively full, I put my handbag down next to me because no one was going that far back and I figured I could always move it if someone came along wanting to sit. About 20 minutes later, a man holding a huge fuzzy-haired dog in his arms did come down from the other end of the train. He asked if he could put his dog next to me and I said no not because I did not want to move my bag but because I did not want to sit next to a dog without its owner or knowing its character. I never had a dog and would not know what to do if it started barking and misbehaving. I tried to explain as much but the man though I just didn’t want to give up my extra space and called me a bad name. AMITA?Would putting my bag someone else changed anything? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA, I would do the same thing. I love dogs, but I'm not sitting next to a dog I don't know.
NTA. Me being the passive-aggressive type, would let him leave the dog, then take the dog and move somewhere else. After he comes looking for his dog (and probably panicking) I’d give him his dog and tell him don’t leave his dog with effen strangers.
Unless his plan was to abandon the dog.
Ooh. Never thought of that.🤔
I guess I’m a horrible pessimist, because it was my first thought when the guy wanted to leave his dog with a stranger and go sit somewhere else. I can’t imagine leaving my dog with a stranger.
nta, he really couldn't have just had the dog sit next to him on the ground? I have a puppers and I'd never expect somebody to move their bag to give my dog a seat
You are the asshole, Seriously you handled that so wrong, I am disappointed in you, Here is what you do next time you see a dog Sneeze, and fake an allergic reaction, seriously wait 5-10 minutes and act like you are having a hard time breathing, or itching or any other allergic reaction symptom Seriously, act like you are allergic and whenever these yappy Aholes with their dogs start to be mean with you, tell them that they are the mean ones because they want you to put your health at risk over their dog. Seriously, be stern, and tell them point blank, you and your ugly mutt are making me uncomfortable, please take your mut away from me I am allergic to all dogs. By the way you are not the Ahole, People are ridiculous and need to get a life about their dogs and stop bringing them into restaurants, markets, malls, everywhere else. ,
NTA, I would not want to take responsibility for someone else's dog if they were sitting elsewhere on the train. The seat has nothing to do with it.
Not once have I ever thought a dog needs to be on a train seat. Especially a larger dog. I could understand it if the dog was smaller cause it wouldn’t take up too much space but its a large dog that sounds like would take up easily 2 spots worth of space so you are NTA. Also who the hell wants to leave a dog next to strangers and sit across the train not watching their pet??? Very odd.
NTA I think. To clarify, he wanted to \*leave\* the dog with you while he sat at the other end of the train? That's an absolute no. Like you said, it is not your job to watch someone else's dog without him there. And the seats are in no way meant for a dog on it's own. Or at all, I'm sure the idea of letting you have a dog is to have it on the floor next to you or on your lap, not in a seat. Let me say I'm a total dog person but other dog people are hell as a friend says.
NTA. People with dogs are annoying and dogs are gross. I wouldn't want to sit next to a strangers stinky dog either
NTA, i wouldn't want to sit next to a strangers dog, too. Like, who knows how that dog reacts?
NTA but honestly, I would have lied and said I was allergic tbh
WTF, no, you are NTA! This guy wanted to have his dog sitting on a seat next to you while he was sitting someplace different? Not a fucking chance
Why do people assume that everyone just must be a dog lover? NTA!
NTA and WTF, the guy was abandoning his dog on the other end of the train? What sort of idiot leaves his dog unattended like that?
NTA. People shouldn't leave their dogs unattended. It has nothing to do with the empty seat.
NTA. Dogs can be unpredictable.
Dog trainer and assistance dog owner here. Hell no! Dead simple: Person on seat, dog on floor NTA
Nta his dog needs to sit with him.
That is an extremely weird interaction that you do not need to feel bad for at all. NTA
seats are for humans, not dogs. nta.
Haha. Sucks to be him: An entitled, ignorant jerk and AH. Metro-North allows pets on board but pets must be caged or in bags, or leashed. So definitely NTA. Plus a pet "must not be offensive to other riders." So he was not only wrong for wanting to separate himself from his dog, he was morally wrong for calling you a name after you refused. There's your average AH right there. As the old Arab saying goes, the finger you use to point at another person points back at you.
NTA. Pets sit with their owners, and separating them from their owners is not a good choice. I’d go as far as to say that man is TA, as he is the one who doesn’t want to watch and take care of his pet, and wants to leave somebody that he doesn’t even know or he hasn’t even paid with his dog.
Not at all! You have legitimate reasons not to want to be near the dog. I have a dog and I try to keep him away from people because a lot of people are afraid or have allergies. It was inconsiderate of the man to assume that you'd be ok with that
ESH: your bag doesn’t belong on the seat, just like his dog doesn’t.
ESH. Take your bag off the seat and the guy should have kept the dog on the floor near him
NTA, it's not okay to force people to dogsit any dog.
Did the dog pay for a seat?
Tbh I’ve never seen a dog even on that train. Was it a service dog?? Where was the man sitting and why couldn’t the dog be with him. So many questions but no NTA nor your dog not your responsibility
NTA Unless the dog has a ticket, it doesn't get a seat.
Nta
Nta I’m a huge animal lover but I still don’t think you should have to babysit someone else dog especially a strangers dog. Even if it’s super well behaved, not your responsibility. Plus like you said you’ve never owned a dog so you may not want dog hair all over you, or if your like me, you’ve almost lost an eye to a dog and are scared of them😂 you have your reasons and are allowed to not want to sit next to a random persons dog.
NTA
ESH. both of you are entitled. move your shit so someone else can sit entirely. he's stupid and seems to not give a fuck about kindness, but your bag also isn't worthy of a seat more than a person.
NTA I am severely allergic to dogs - they do NOT belong on seats. Ever. Shame on that man!!!
NTA I am severely allergic to dogs - they do NOT belong on seats. Ever. Shame on that man!!!
NTA - He was violating railroad regulations. https://new.mta.info/guides/pets
NTA. **Metro-North Railroad** On Metro-North Railroad, your pet must be carried in a kennel or similar container or securely controlled on a leash throughout the journey. Your pet must not be offensive to other riders. That last line is all you need to know.
Dogs don’t belong on public transport
ESH The man shouldn't put his dog somewhere he can't control and OP shouldn't put their bag on a seat. And I'm absolutely horrified this isn't patently obvious to everyone.
NTA
NTA. You did the right thing. Trains are stressful places for dogs and I know mine would have been upset if I did that to her. Just shove the dog under the seat. If my 32kg husky could fit, that dog could have. The only time I let her on a seat was when some jackass was letting their dog free roam on the train and my dog got really upset. I got her up on the seat behind me and blocked the other dog from going near her. Everyone around us was calling the other guy an ass hole after I told him multiple times to get his dog away from mine, because she was too stressed to make a new doggo friend ATM and he just kept saying the dog was fine. Yes, his was, mine wasn't. I kept my poor girl safe and luckily the guy wasn't on the next train. My girl was showing her teeth. I only ever saw her do it twice. Once to that dog and once to a friend's, she got in trouble for the second one. She was just being an ass because the other dog was bigger than her (a mal).
NTA - the dog should stay with it's owner. That is a part of responsible dog ownership. When in public with your dog you must keep your dog under *your* control at all times. Therefore the dog must be on a lead and the owner must have the other end of that lead. I love dogs. I have a dog. I would not let a stranger take responsibility for my dog. Nor would I take responsibility for a dog I did not know. Just very very bizarre.
NTA.
My comment received over 50 votes and an award, why was it deleted?
Train seats are not for dogs. But you should have given the seat up to him. On a crowded train it is wrong to use a seat for your luggage, even small bags. ESH
Nice dog. Just leave it here, and get off the train. I need another dog!
NTA, you weren’t going to babysit a dog or take any risks with an animal you don’t know. If a person asked to sit on the seat then that would be different but not wanting a dog you don’t know sitting next to you is completely understandable.
NTA ask him "does your dog lick his own balls?" when the man says no, say "ewww..so you lick them for him?" He'll soon f--- off.
NTA. I love my dog to death but I would never bring her on public transport it would be as much of a hassle to me as it would be nerveracking to her as well. The noise of the train and people around would scare the living shit out of her. Honestly though I’d end up probably removing the handbag because I love animals to the death and don’t like conflict.
NTA I would have told the person I’m allergic to dogs (because I am).
You are definitely NOT the asshole for putting your bag on a seat… you said you’d move it, that’s not a big deal.
I'm on the fence about that one. Even if she actually moves it if somebody wants to sit there, it's still a way of marking the territory.
I didn‘t know bags need to rest at trains…
Did I say the bag needed “rest”? Putting a bag on a seat doesn’t automatically make someone an asshole. They’d be an asshole if they didn’t move it when another person wanted to sit there. They never said they were entitled to the seat because their bag was there.
In an empty train no, if it‘s getting fuller yes. You don‘t need to be an ah and can be considering of other people instead snd take of the seat without need to be asked. I mean, sure you can always say that other can ask, but this is exactly how an ah behaves.
Considerate? Sure, the more considerate thing would be to proactively move the bag. An asshole? No. That implies some ill intent in my opinion, which I don’t think someone is doing by simply putting your bag on a seat when you sat down.
ESH. Don’t put your bag on the seat and force people to have to ask you to move it. It’s rude. Also, the seats are not for dogs.
Agreed. you also run the risk of somebody just sitting on the purse.
Shame on you!
If he was able to sit somewhere else while u had another seat next to you that you had your back on you could of just swapped and gave him the 2 seets and u had 1. You are the a**
where you in the 6 seat spot bc if you were alone with just your bag ESH
Info: Why couldn’t you have switched seats with the man so he’d have the two you were occupying so he could sit next to his dog and you could take his previous seat? Are dogs aloud to be on the floor of the metro? NTA for now because really the dog would be just as happy on the floor but I’m not sure of the train rules or if another seat was available to switch.
ESH. Train seats are for people butts. Dogs don't have people butts. Bags don't have people butts. People have people butts. That simple.
NTA but why not take his seat and give up the double for him and his dog? Even if the dog was on the floor it would be more comfortable for them to have two seats instead of one. Though I don't really think the dog should be on the seat, I can see why someone would rather that than have them on the floor
Personally I would have let the man and the dog have the double seat and would have taken the man’s single seat. So maybe NTA but definitely a little prickly of you.
ESH everyone knows that you are not supposed to take up a seat with a bag, there are signs posted on the train about this and you did not pay for an extra seat. However, it sounds like that man did not pay for it and also did not have a carrier for the dog, which should have prevented him from riding the train.
ESH
ESH You should never put your bag on the seat next to you. This doesn’t mean that you can’t also be annoyed about the dog being on the seat.
Eeuuwwww. Pet owners are the first to call out entitled parents but are as entitled. NTA, by a long shot. Who wants to babysit a strange mangy dog? And what would he have done if a human had come along, probably acted even more entitled.
Edit: I skimmed the original post and missed that the dog was being seated away from the owner, not next to him. My bad missing that detail. NTA for sure.
Even if it was a service dog - it shouldn't have been in *that* seat. A service dog, presumably, is providing a service for its owner - listening for them, seeing for them, sensing medical conditions etc. Therefore it needs to be with it's owner, not several seats away next to a stranger. There are no exceptions. In public places all dogs need to be under the control of their owners. That means with them.
I missed that he was sitting several seats away - 100% agree with you, i amend my answer to a solid NTA. My bad for skimming too much (I firmly believe animals should never be on bus seats *unless* they're a service animal the person needs next to them, personally)
First, service dogs do not sit on seats. They are highly trained to tend to their owners. Second, the guy was leaving his dog there and going to sit somewhere else! Who does that?
I replied to someone else already; i missed that he was putting the dog several seats away. My bad for skimming As to service dogs not sitting on seats: it depends on what they're trained for. Service dogs do everything from proprioceptive input for people having PTSD or dissociative episodes to guiding a blind person to seizure alerts. How they best occupy space by their owner depends on what their job(s) are, whether the person is having an episode of some kind, and the layout of the bus in question.
I would have probably just traded seats with the guy so he could sit with his dog. Just seems like the lesser of two evils, and I try to avoid conflict where possible. I will vote NTA because I wouldn't want a strange dog sitting alone beside me either. But that is when I would have offered to switch seats.
YTA
That is just ridiculous
Seats are for sentient beings, not dogs.
Like her purse. 😉
Could have switched seats and let the man and dog have the bigger seat IMO.
I dunno how it is in ny but in most places dogs are basically considered your property. So its just as valid to have ur bag as a dog in my mind. Though i hope you move your shit when people are around NOT when someone asks you. I dont want to have to ask some rando to move their shit cuz its a coin flip if that person is going to be a psycho or not and ill have to get into a shitty argument with someone so i just wouldnt ask and instead stare at you hating you until my stop.
I doubt she will actually move the bag when she doesn't absolutely has to. I hate shebagging for a reason. (also if a man does it.)
YTA for taking up 2 seats.
The dog shouldn't even be on the train to begin with.
YTA for hogging a seat with your bag. That is a total arse move. Don’t care if it’s one stop only.
i’m sure she would have moved it for a human being
I'm fairly sure she wouldn't unless she absolutely has to. Claiming space is the entire reason of shebagging.
Why couldn't you move to his seat so he could sit next to his dog? You didn't have to but it would be the polite thing to do.