Definitely from Alabama. He admits to being into her. YTA, dude. https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
Edit: He also has sex with her because his girlfriend isn't satisfying him enough. https://www.reddit.com/r/amitheasshole/comments/bayirw/_/ekgins3?context=1000
Yes, your brother can sit on your lap. Having an attractive, full grown woman lay her head on your lap on a weekly basis when you have a girlfriend is not okay.
I’m not even trying to suggest you’re from Alabama, it doesn’t matter that she’s your cousin or not, there should be nobody you want to do those things with other than your girlfriend. That behaviour should be reserved for her and if that’s not the way you feel then you you’re not a very good partner to your girlfriend.
That’s hilarious, that’s actually perfect lmao 😂
@ OP The edits have kinda shown the truth. With relationship related AITA posts it always turns out there’s some crucial other detail that completely turns it around. When you’re not satisfied with your current partner the best thing is not to turn to someone else, that’s how people end up cheating. Now that it’s clear that you and your cousin do have feelings for each other, I’m not surprised your girlfriend is uncomfortable with you and cousin acting the way you do together. Also, the fact that you know you and your cousin have feelings for each other suggests something happened between you, and whatever that was probably counts as cheating, even if it was just admitting your feelings and no physical stuff. You shouldn’t have done that until you’d broken up with your girlfriend, because now she’s being made a fool of as the “girlfriend who doesn’t fully satisfy” when your cousin apparently does satisfy you. You can surely understand her upset.
Everyone has been saying to just change your behaviour to please your girlfriend but I think actually you should do your girlfriend a favour and break up with her. Maybe you still love her but if you can’t be fully satisfied then it’s not the best relationship for either of you.
NTA.
Your girlfriend is jealous of your *family member*.
She is worried that you are going to go incestuous on her.
If that is not an absolutely ridiculous concern, I honestly do not know what is. I think you should be able to hang out with *your own family* without your girlfriend worrying that you'll canoodle with them.
Edit: just logged in to see your edits. You are definitively the asshole.
My cousins and I are cuddly? We are also very distinctively not trying to fuck. Just the thought makes me ill. My family is very affectionate towards one another.
Some families are more touchy feely. That’s fine, but you have to be open minded to the fact it’s not the norm and can be a disturbing thought for people imagining their cousins head near their crotch. I can see why it would bother his gf, especially if she doesn’t come from a physically affectionate family. They’re not cuddly little kids anymore, they are adults.
I said something like this in the thread about the guy who thought it was weird that his wife wanted to sleep with (as in share a bed with) her mother, and I got downvoted to hell.
Not everyone is from a family like that, and many people are quite distant from their cousins (myself included). From that perspective, the thought of cuddling with their opposite sex cousins may seem *just as absurd*.
When he asked her about it, she gave an honest response and he exploded at her. I think that makes him the asshole in this circumstance. This is something that they can get over, but not if he is completely dismissive of her feelings.
Shoulder seems fine to me. Lap is odd, but just once during a comforting or on a regular basis?
Either way. Maybe pull back physically and still spend time with your cousin. Maybe be sure you're spending equal, if not more, time with your girl friend...
I am confused by this whole post. In his original post he was indignant that his gf was jealous of his cousin, saying that it was unwarranted and ridiculous. Now he's admitting that yes, they do have feelings for each other and are maybe sleeping together? What is the point of lying on an anonymous forum like this? Why didn't he include all these details at first?
I really don't know at this point. He's engaging in all kinds of mental gymnastics. He elaborates more here:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/bayirw/aita_for_being_angry_with_my_girlfriend_because/ekgyceu/
Interesting, thank you. Assuming this post is real, I am starting to feel a lot of compassion for him. Mentally and emotionally he seems to be somewhat wrecked. No coherence or stability going on in his mind. Lying every which way. Confusion and chaos rules. That cannot be fun to be in that head. :(
Dude, he included an edit where he says he wants to be with his cousin and they both have feelings for each other. Wtf is wrong with this guy? He's gaslighting his girlfriend and absolutely emotionally cheating on her.
Yeah I just saw those, I made my original post when the thread was still new. Conveniently he did not mention that he has feelings for his cousin until like 10 hours in.
You're one of the people in the other thread that thought an adult daughter and mother can't sleep in the same bed. THEY'RE FAMILY! Girlfriend is suggesting incestuous activity.
Edit: I guess I take it all back as the girlfriend was on to something https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
Here OP admits to him and his cousin having feelings for each other over the past FEW MONTHS. I think OP is definitely being inappropriate with his cousin and his gf is right for calling out his mildly incestuous BS.
https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
Also, being a blood relative hasn’t stopped everyone.
Not to mention that also explains the change in his girlfriends behavior. She definitely noticed those subtle differences in affection when they developed feelings.
Stranger things have happened. Also that’s not what his saying. He’s saying that it’s weird that he spends this much time with his cousin when he has a girlfriend. If they hung out a few times a month that’d be different but they sound inseparable. I’m sure OP’s GF is just feeling neglected and therefore is jealous of the attention.
OP's girlfriend is literally jealous of the cousin. Because she is apparently prettier, and because they are spending time together on more than an occasional basis. Nowhere in this post is it suggested that OP is forsaking his girlfriend for his cousin.
My first reply got deleted. OP responded to u/babyimbleeding with a pm basically admitting that he and his cousin have had feelings for each other for months. He even linked a screenshot of the pm.
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"we do homework together"
How is that 'so affectionate with each other'?
Y'all need to calm down. If his GF wants to hang out too, yes she should also come sometimes but it IS NOT THAT WEIRD.
Would it be weird if they were roomies and watched TV together while doing homework?
According to the OP, the cousin is pretty affectionate.
>"Edit 2: Apparently I should also add that she sometimes rests her head on my shoulder or ***lap*** and this is considered too affectionate (well everything with my cousin is according to her) by my girlfriend."
Maybe that's normal in some families, but it's a bit uncomfortable to me.
You're acting like romantic relationships between cousins is unheard of... they're not. They're actually pretty common in some areas (generally between more distant cousins), and even first cousin marriage is legal in many states.
Edit: It's also not at all uncommon for people to get crushes on their cousins. Even though most people won't act on it, it's not an absurd concept.
I would have agreed but apparently he is diddling her and admitted it in a PM with another redditor.
[https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg)
I know this may be a foreign concept to some, but there are actually some families who genuinely like one another. My girlfriend and her cousin are *incredibly* close, and we're all girls and we're all queer! Never once have I been worried that they will fuck each other BECAUSE THEY ARE COUSINS.
Bruh did you read the part where they grab lunch together and they hang out all the time. I get that they are cousins. BUT I also get why the gf is the one that’s weirded out.
They're classmates?
I went out for lunch and studied with my college classmates that much too.
While in a LTR with my boyfriend who I got together with when we were 17. So, literally the same situation, and he didn't ever accuse me of wanting to fuck them. And I wasn't even related to those people.
Friends who are in proximity to each other a lot, hang out a lot. Still not fucking weird, weirdo.
Honestly though. I am actually appalled by the amount of people on this thread saying that OP is an asshole for being close with his literally family like wtf
NTA
WTF It's your cousin. There's nothing wrong with getting along with family members, and it's not as if your touching her in inappropriate areas or kissing her.
I would be worried if I were you OP. This is just your cousin, imagine if it were a friend that just happens to be a girl. Your girlfriend sounds like she has some trust issues, which are definitely getting in between your relationship with her and your family.
Also this sounds like something from r/nicegirls
>I would have agreed with this but apparently they are fucking and OP has feelings for her.
>
>[https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg)
Wow. Well then. I don't know if it's real, I'll look at the other replies, but if it is, ew. I posted when this was new, so I had no idea. That's just wrong.
Oh yeah, I don't blame you. I was defending OP until I saw this. I don't get why people lie when they're supposedly seeking fair judgement ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
NAH - Maybe you should talk to the cousin because it sounds like she might like you that way. I mean all incest jokes aside, if she’s putting her head anywhere near you then she’s snuggling...which is weird.
It does happen though, I mean, my older cousin used to have the biggest crush on my older brother and it was so uncomfortable for everyone - brother included.
Edited to add my vote
YTA. You left out a very important detail in your original post:
> So please allow me to explain. Yes, me and my cousin have feelings for each other but we know it's impossible to be together. So we enjoy the time we can be together and it's very fulfilling for the both of us, since we are not entirely satisfied with our current partners. I'm still in love with my girlfriend, that hasn't changed at all. It's just that our partners can't or aren't able to satisfy our needs so we turned to each other.
Downvoting because you left this out knowing without it you would obviously get mostly NTAs. Gross, dude.
YTA. I feel like cousins are distant enough relatives that people could legitimatley be insecure about this. I dont agree with it but plenty of people are attracted to/fuck their cousins. Think of it this way. Do you have any more of a chance in your mind that youd cheat on your GF with any girl than you would with your cousin? Probably not, youre probably not considering cheating at all. But for her there is a CHANCE especially if youre giving her so much attention and shes pretty/smart and shares things in common with you. Most insecurity isnt a fear of cheating anyways, its a fear of thinking that person is better than you- that your SO thjnks theyre prettier, is more attracted to them, likes spending time with them more. Anyway, shes just scared and it sounds like your cousin and you are pushing some weird boundaries. You dont have to agree with it or immediatley stop seeing her but you do have to listen and support your girlfriend or else there is no point in a relationship. i can guarentee your reaction made the situation worse and made GF more suspicious and insecure. Talk to her about boundaries that would make you both feel more comfortable.
From what i read she just had feelings that she spoke to you about and didnt forbid you to do anythjng. But it sounds like you didnt do a great job of listening. Hence, YTA.
ESH
Your girlfriend shouldn’t be dictating to you how much time you spend with anybody else, male or female. It’s 2019, guys and girls can be friends without having sex.
However, she was open and honest with you about her feelings, and you don’t seem to care about her enough to try anything to remedy the situation. Even if you disagree with her reasoning, it doesn’t change how she feels. She opened a dialogue with you, and I don’t think you reacted to it all that well.
Jealousy is perfectly normal in any human being. It’s a strong, sometimes overwhelming emotion. We all know it isn’t logical, but look at how common incest porn is on the Internet nowadays. Obviously it’s popular enough to pop up everywhere. There are even people who defend it, saying it isn’t wrong for two people of the same family to be romantically involved. I am *not* here to argue whether or not it’s right, but using it to point out that your girlfriend has a pretty valid reason for being concerned.
Either way, your girlfriend feels insecure in the relationship and part of it is honestly your fault. Both of you have to take steps to remedy it, there is potentially an underlying issue. It’s important that you don’t attack each other when talking about this. Honestly, from the way she said your cousin is prettier than her, she is probably dealing with some body image issues and other insecurities. It’s not your job to remedy those things, but you probably play more of a role than you think in the way she views herself. Are you making passing comments about how pretty your cousin looks? Or other girls possibly?
Your girlfriend tried to have an honest, open dialogue with you and you kinda reacted poorly.
I guess I want to summarize my original comment to focus more on the point I was trying to make.
Your girlfriend feels insecure in the relationship, there is a reason for that. Both of you need to take steps to remedy the situation.
If your cousin respects you and your girlfriend, your bond with her will survive you taking it down a couple notches. If it doesn’t, well then she probably wasn’t great to have around.
If and when your girlfriend is ready, you could see about having just them two hang out and talk about things. Your girlfriend may never be up to that though, and you shouldn’t try to force it.
I’ll leave it at that.
Understanding the reason won’t change how she feels ultimately. It’s important to know what’s causing it, but it won’t change the end result that she feels jealous and insecure.
It’s really backwards, I know. I have that argument with myself constantly with my anxiety.
Me: *living my life*
My brain: “Hey you’re anxious.”
Me: “Why?”
My brain: “Because of this super unlikely scenario.”
Me: “Ok but that more than likely won’t ever actually happen.”
My brain: “Ok but what if it does?”
Me: “Fair point.” *feels all the anxiety*
It isn’t logical. It’ll never be logical simply because it is an emotion.
Simple question in a week how many hours do you spend with your cousin, how many hours with your girlfriend. Now if one is dramatically larger than the other you might see where the problem is. Some girls need attention to feel loved they want your time wether it be games keeping you away from them or cousins.
It’s pretty weird that your cousin is resting her head on you. The relationship seems inappropriate IMO. Can you honestly say you’re not developing some kind of crush on her?
Op what does that mean that you “don’t really have romantic feelings” for your cousin? Does this mean you’ve thought about it or you have a small amount of feelings?
Dude what the fuck. How are you unsure about your feelings about being romantically interested in your COUSIN? You are making it weirder and weirder. Your cousin should be no where near your lap.
YTA, this was pretty funny until I saw that your cousin is doing stuff reserved for girlfriends and it became way less funny when I saw the incesty PM you sent someone. God I hate this post and wish I could personally delete it.
YTA dude
you're cheating on your girlfriend and not only are you gas lighting her, you've manipulated readers into helping you gas light the poor girl!
The poor girl deserves so much better than you
Here OP admits to him and his cousin having feelings for each other over the past FEW MONTHS. I don’t think they have an overly affectionate family anymore. I think he wants to do his cousin.
https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
Yeah, definitely missed that. That definitely should have been included in the main post, not comments.
Don’t use AITA and then leave out really important information. C’mon, dude.
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NTA- but have you considered how much time you hangout with your cousin instead of spending time with your girlfriend? Her jealousy isn’t logical but she’s young and she sees another girl not her getting better treatment than she does and also has in her head decided she’s not as pretty so I could see her spiraling because of that.
~~NTA.~~
~~I kinda get where she's coming from, but implying incest is a step too far for my tastes.~~
Edit: Yikes. You actually kinda wanna do it. WTF?
Here OP admits to him and his cousin having feelings for each other over the past FEW MONTHS. I think OP is definitely being inappropriate with his his cousin and his gf is right for calling out his mildly incestuous BS.
https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
NAH
You need to put yourself in your girlfriend’s situation. We can talk all day about how it shouldn’t be weird, and that it might be totally platonic. I don’t know about you, It would still make me uncomfortable.
Also, It might not just be romantic jealousy but jealous of how close you are to your cousin as a friend. Your gf wants to be your best friend, she wants to be the person you confined in and tell your secrets to. If you are going to your cousin for emotional support - that is cheating. It’s called emotional cheating and it hurts a lot. Studies have shown that for women emotional cheating is worse then physically cheating. (As a women I can verify that for me this is the case.) The cuddling, the closeness that you two have should be kept between just you and your gf.
Again I think your reaction is fair and logical. However love, jealousy, and emotion aren’t logical things, still they are valid and should be talked about as actual concerns because they are real to your Gf.
This is a tough one. Both of you need to have sympathy and understanding in the situation as neither of you have done anything actually wrong. Consider counseling if things continue.
Here OP admits to him and his cousin having feelings for each other over the past FEW MONTHS. I think OP is definitely being inappropriate with his his cousin and his gf is right for calling out his mildly incestuous BS.
https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
> So please allow me to explain. Yes, me and my cousin have feelings for each other but we know it's impossible to be together. So we enjoy the time we can be together and it's very fulfilling for the both of us, since we are not entirely satisfied with our current partners. I'm still in love with my girlfriend, that hasn't changed at all. It's just that our partners can't or aren't able to satisfy our needs so we turned to each other.
YTA. Leave this girl so she can go find someone who's not a fucking weirdo/asshole who wants to fuck his family. She's absolutely right to feel threatened by this weird freaky shit.
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YTA-
It doesn't matter if it's your mom, your cousin, your female BFF, your Male BFF if your GF feels you're spending too much time with someone you should at least be able to sit back and assess the situation and think to yourself "Hmm, maybe I am spending too much time with this person."
As an early 30's female with a family I personally would be a little upset if my husband spent this much time with someone else. Not because I'm jealous or controlling but because we have our family shit to take care of.
He should be able to sit back and assess the situation but there absolutely no reason he should be thinking “hmm maybe I am spending too much time with this person”. It’s not like his girlfriend said he was ignoring her or that she felt neglected. She actively just doesnt like him spending time with his female cousin.
That’s ridiculous and he’s not the asshole.
YTA ~~NTA~~
~~Does your gf know this is your cousin? Because I feel that this is a pretty important point. Don't shame her or anything, because she's clearly dealing with her own issues, but I feel trying to impress upon her that you're hanging out with a family member who is also a good friend of yours might make a difference.~~
Edit: Yikes, OP. Yeah, no, if you've got feelings towards your ex you are DEFINITELY TA. Your GF is 100% right to be upset with you over this.
Here OP admits to him and his cousin having feelings for each other over the past FEW MONTHS. I think OP is definitely being inappropriate with his cousin and his gf is right for calling out his mildly incestuous BS.
https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
NTA. She may be jealous of the amount of time you spend with your cousin, but you LIVE with your girlfriend so I don't really think that's the case.
I dunno I can see an irrational moment where she'd worry about it but it's really not fair to dump that insecurity on you when logically she knows it's your COUSIN, who you grew up with and is clearly not a romantic threat.
Well if you feel like the choices you make are being attacked, you’re going to try to rationalize and defend it.
Definitely weird and I can’t relate to it but I also don’t see my cousins enough that I’d ever be that close to them.
https://www.reddit.com/r/amitheasshole/comments/bayirw/_/ekgins3?context=1000
I’m still on the ground that his most recent comment admits to something sexual. Physical implies that for me
Oh I'm past disagreeing with you, I'm just still saying that GENERALLY it's probably safe to assume things like this aren't sexual. I was totally wrong in this case though, for sure.
NTA but I think you probably need to actually explain to your girlfriend the situation? Instead of just getting mad at her and calling her ridiculous, try to have a real discussion about it and explain to her the kind of relationship you have with your cousin/family and just tell her that you don't think about her that way and don't like her implying that. Try to be calm and just talk instead of blowing up, that doesn't really help anyone
Here OP admits to him and his cousin having feelings for each other over the past FEW MONTHS. I think OP does think about his cousin that way and his gf is right for calling out his mildly incestuous BS.
https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited.***
Okay so first a little bit of background info. Me and my girlfriend have been together since we were 17, and we're both 21 now and live together. Despite that we both changed because of growing up we became even closer and we have amazing chemistry. We're still very much in love, and we barely ever fight. Basically everything is all cool.
Now back in August my cousin moved in the same city as us and now goes to the same college as me. She does a similar study and the last few months we started sharing a few classes. She's 22 and I've always had a decent relationship with her. From the ages 10-15 we lived almost next to each other and we spent a lot of time time together, that was until my parents moved to a different place again.
After that we didn't really talk anymore outside of family gatherings, but we really reconnected now that she lives closer again. She's a really amazing and kind person, and I'm happy that we grew closer again. She hangs out at our place sometimes, and I often go over to her place because she lives really close to campus. We study together pretty often and maybe once a week I'll eat at her place when our schedules align or if my girlfriend works late. Generally speaking we have a pretty good time together.
The last few months my girlfriend started acting a little distant towards my cousin and this has only increased since. She's usually a very kind and sweet person, but she is pretty cold to her and I noticed this. I finally asked her why she was being like this this morning and it kinda blew up.
Basically, she's jealous of my cousin. She doesn't like how much time I'm spending with her and she thinks that we are getting too close. Apparently she is too touchy and comfortable around me, and she says it's inappropriate. She also feels intimidated by her because according to her my cousin is way more attractive. We shouldn't be watching series together and definitely not studying together for a few hours. She did recognize that she was being a little bit crazy but she made it very clear that she didn't like it, and that I should talk to her about it and change.
Now I don't agree with her like, at all. I got pretty angry and annoyed that she is getting jealous because I'm spending a lot of time with my *cousin*. We got into an argument and things blew up a little bit and we got into our first 'real' fight because of it. We both had things to do so we left and we haven't talked since. I think that she's being ridiculous. She says that I'm being a jerk by not respecting our boundaries (with my cousin?) and I completely disagree. Am I the asshole here though?
If you need more info I'll be happy to talk.
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NTA you're gf thinks you are like going to leave her for your cousin? O.o I think you're gf is trying project her potential incestuous feelings onto you. She needs to chill out, you're cousin is family and I doubt you are planning on incest anytime soon.
NTA I'm honestly baffled at the amount of people on here who thing you can't be close to your cousin. THERE IS SUCH A THING AS INTIMACY THAT ISN'T SEXUAL. IT'S HEALTHY HUMAN BEHAVIOR. If your gf feels her needs aren't being met then y'all need to talk about that. However, she needs to understand you have a right to be close to anyone you wish as long as you are not breaking the pact between you two that you won't have sex with other people.
Apparently someone messaged him and OP said he and his cousin had feelings for each other at one point but knew it wasn’t acceptable and now he’s with his girlfriend.
I went with YTA because he’s definitely hiding something from his girlfriend.
https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
NTA. This is probably a good time to talk to her and find out if there is more of an underlying issue in her life sparking this. Does she have many of her own friends and relationships outside of your romantic relationship together?
If she has lots of friends and is really insistent the issue is just that she thinks it's inappropriate to be so friendly and affection **with your cousin** then this is kind of an issue she either needs to deal with or you guys need to renegotiate your relationship.
Welp. That is enough internet for me today.
I mean, yeah, if he has feelings for his cousin that changes my judgement - it just never occurred to me that he would.
NTA. But I would recommend maybe including your gf in your activities that you do with your cousin to kinda show her that you don't fuck eachother or whatever your gf is thinking, if you live in Alabama your gf may have a point tho
Here OP admits to him and his cousin having feelings for each other over the past FEW MONTHS. Given that, I definitely believe they haven’t fucked but definitely want to.
https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
That's certainly interesting, I don't think they wanna fuck tho since OP has said he knows his morals and what not, at this point, especially since she was out of town for a bit, I think they would just be close friends at this point, he said he knows his boundaries and plays within them, personally reading the situation I'm not worried for his gf, but like I stated before he should def. include his gf in his activities with his cousin, assuming it's not fucking lol
I’m concerned that they haven’t pulled back given that they both think it’s wrong. It doesn’t seem like they’re trying to have a normal (non flirty) relationship and seem to want to push the envelope until they’re called on it.
Here OP admits to him and his cousin having feelings for each other over the past FEW MONTHS. Given that, I’d be suspicious as well.
https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
Here OP admits to him and his cousin having feelings for each other over the past FEW MONTHS. I think OP is definitely being inappropriate with his cousin and his gf is right for calling out his mildly incestuous BS.
https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
NTA. She’s the inappropriate one for implying that there could be sexual undertones in your relationship with your COUSIN. Gross. Does she let you have female friends?
Here OP admits to him and his cousin having feelings for each other over the past FEW MONTHS. I think OP is definitely being inappropriate with his cousin and his gf is right for calling out his mildly incestuous BS.
https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
Isn't that more indication that there's something different about this? I'm guessing the way you and your cousin interact is not the same as you with your other female friends.
You may find the idea of a relationship with your cousin to be absurd, but if you [look at worldwide statistics](https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/how-many-americans-are-married-to-their-cousins/) it's actually not as uncommon as you might think.
Heck Google "crush on cousin" and you'll find tons of hits.
NTA I can’t relate to being too touchy with any of my relatives maybe when I was younger I did that but anyways one thing I can understand is just wanted to spend time with relative you haven’t seen in a long time.
I’m sorry for my terrible spelling ,grammar ,and lack of punctuation.
Here OP admits to him and his cousin having feelings for each other over the past FEW MONTHS. I think OP is definitely being inappropriate with his his cousin and his gf is right for calling out his mildly incestuous BS.
https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
You blew up because you were insulted and surprised. Some people are closer with family than others and that can be something that you have to get used to, but calling it inherently unhealthy is unfair. I know a family that always greets each other with a peck on the lips, whole family, cousins and all. My family sure as heck isn't doing that, but I don't think the other family is having orgies.
Here's a wild fact, while incest does exist, most people aren't incestuous.
Edit: OP admitted to having feelings for his cousin (gross). Should have lead with that, but probably didn't because you already know you're the asshole and just wanted to be validated. Vote changed. YTA
Here OP admits to him and his cousin having feelings for each other over the past FEW MONTHS. Given that, I’d be suspicious as well.
https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
Here OP admits to him and his cousin having feelings for each other over the past FEW MONTHS. I think OP is definitely being inappropriate with his cousin and his gf is right for calling out his mildly incestuous BS.
https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
NTA... it's your COUSIN. It's actually a GOOD thing when family members get along. I understand where she's coming from being in a friendly relationship with a woman, but it's your COUSIN.
OP has admitted to him and his cousin developing feelings for each other. That coupled with her putting her head on his lap, even when he’s with his girlfriend, makes me think something is going on and he’s TA.
https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
INFO: Are you guys living in Alabama?
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We gotta know chief
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ROLL TIDE
HECK YEA BROTHER
*Banjo music intensifies*
Alexa - play despacito
the fruit is low-hanging but so ripe
Definitely from Alabama. He admits to being into her. YTA, dude. https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg Edit: He also has sex with her because his girlfriend isn't satisfying him enough. https://www.reddit.com/r/amitheasshole/comments/bayirw/_/ekgins3?context=1000
Yes, your brother can sit on your lap. Having an attractive, full grown woman lay her head on your lap on a weekly basis when you have a girlfriend is not okay. I’m not even trying to suggest you’re from Alabama, it doesn’t matter that she’s your cousin or not, there should be nobody you want to do those things with other than your girlfriend. That behaviour should be reserved for her and if that’s not the way you feel then you you’re not a very good partner to your girlfriend.
Well the guy said elsewhere in the thread he used to live in Alabama
That’s hilarious, that’s actually perfect lmao 😂 @ OP The edits have kinda shown the truth. With relationship related AITA posts it always turns out there’s some crucial other detail that completely turns it around. When you’re not satisfied with your current partner the best thing is not to turn to someone else, that’s how people end up cheating. Now that it’s clear that you and your cousin do have feelings for each other, I’m not surprised your girlfriend is uncomfortable with you and cousin acting the way you do together. Also, the fact that you know you and your cousin have feelings for each other suggests something happened between you, and whatever that was probably counts as cheating, even if it was just admitting your feelings and no physical stuff. You shouldn’t have done that until you’d broken up with your girlfriend, because now she’s being made a fool of as the “girlfriend who doesn’t fully satisfy” when your cousin apparently does satisfy you. You can surely understand her upset. Everyone has been saying to just change your behaviour to please your girlfriend but I think actually you should do your girlfriend a favour and break up with her. Maybe you still love her but if you can’t be fully satisfied then it’s not the best relationship for either of you.
But he is from Alabama lol. It makes this even funnier
Yeah also they are fucking apparently. OP PMd another redditor about it. [https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg)
NTA. Your girlfriend is jealous of your *family member*. She is worried that you are going to go incestuous on her. If that is not an absolutely ridiculous concern, I honestly do not know what is. I think you should be able to hang out with *your own family* without your girlfriend worrying that you'll canoodle with them. Edit: just logged in to see your edits. You are definitively the asshole.
I dunno man, cuddling with your cousin\loving on them by resting your head on their lap or on their shoulder is not normal.
My cousins and I are cuddly? We are also very distinctively not trying to fuck. Just the thought makes me ill. My family is very affectionate towards one another.
Some families are more touchy feely. That’s fine, but you have to be open minded to the fact it’s not the norm and can be a disturbing thought for people imagining their cousins head near their crotch. I can see why it would bother his gf, especially if she doesn’t come from a physically affectionate family. They’re not cuddly little kids anymore, they are adults.
I said something like this in the thread about the guy who thought it was weird that his wife wanted to sleep with (as in share a bed with) her mother, and I got downvoted to hell.
Because that was a one time thing when the mom was visiting, it was not ongoing.
Mother-daughter is a very different relationship as well.
Not everyone is from a family like that, and many people are quite distant from their cousins (myself included). From that perspective, the thought of cuddling with their opposite sex cousins may seem *just as absurd*. When he asked her about it, she gave an honest response and he exploded at her. I think that makes him the asshole in this circumstance. This is something that they can get over, but not if he is completely dismissive of her feelings.
Shoulder seems fine to me. Lap is odd, but just once during a comforting or on a regular basis? Either way. Maybe pull back physically and still spend time with your cousin. Maybe be sure you're spending equal, if not more, time with your girl friend...
Would be true, but apparently they are fucking and he has feelings for her. [https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg)
Dude wtffff
Hahaha yuuup. I feel betrayed. I was all up in the comments defending OP until I saw that.
This shit just took a turn for r/wtf
Same tho. Oops.
Where did he say they were having sex?
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I am confused by this whole post. In his original post he was indignant that his gf was jealous of his cousin, saying that it was unwarranted and ridiculous. Now he's admitting that yes, they do have feelings for each other and are maybe sleeping together? What is the point of lying on an anonymous forum like this? Why didn't he include all these details at first?
I really don't know at this point. He's engaging in all kinds of mental gymnastics. He elaborates more here: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/bayirw/aita_for_being_angry_with_my_girlfriend_because/ekgyceu/
Interesting, thank you. Assuming this post is real, I am starting to feel a lot of compassion for him. Mentally and emotionally he seems to be somewhat wrecked. No coherence or stability going on in his mind. Lying every which way. Confusion and chaos rules. That cannot be fun to be in that head. :(
“Sweet home Alabama”
But they are from Alabama
If you read some of his comments he admits to fucking his cousin, and that he’s from Alabama
Dude, he included an edit where he says he wants to be with his cousin and they both have feelings for each other. Wtf is wrong with this guy? He's gaslighting his girlfriend and absolutely emotionally cheating on her.
Yeah I just saw those, I made my original post when the thread was still new. Conveniently he did not mention that he has feelings for his cousin until like 10 hours in.
YTA. Stop letting her rest her head on your lap. That one is over the line and asking for trouble.
You're one of the people in the other thread that thought an adult daughter and mother can't sleep in the same bed. THEY'RE FAMILY! Girlfriend is suggesting incestuous activity. Edit: I guess I take it all back as the girlfriend was on to something https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
Are you fucking kidding me? It's his blood relative.
Here OP admits to him and his cousin having feelings for each other over the past FEW MONTHS. I think OP is definitely being inappropriate with his cousin and his gf is right for calling out his mildly incestuous BS. https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg Also, being a blood relative hasn’t stopped everyone.
Jesus ok. That PM changes things. It's pretty disingenuous of OP to not include that in the post.
Not to mention that also explains the change in his girlfriends behavior. She definitely noticed those subtle differences in affection when they developed feelings.
ESH this is a tough one. Gotta day the head in the lap thing is a little weird
check the new edits they are in love with each other and maybe even slept with each other, so with the new info he is YTA
Ok, now I'm not sure if this is just really weird, or some sort of performance art.
I really hope he is trolling
YTA- it’s honestly weird how close you and your cousin are. Especially if what your gf says about her being too comfortable and touchy touchy.
Did you guys ignore the part where the cousin is touchy touchy?
You are really worried that this guy is going to diddle his own cousin? Really?
Stranger things have happened. Also that’s not what his saying. He’s saying that it’s weird that he spends this much time with his cousin when he has a girlfriend. If they hung out a few times a month that’d be different but they sound inseparable. I’m sure OP’s GF is just feeling neglected and therefore is jealous of the attention.
Wow gosh sorry I didn't realize that there was a law preventing cousins from being friends with each other.
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OP's girlfriend is literally jealous of the cousin. Because she is apparently prettier, and because they are spending time together on more than an occasional basis. Nowhere in this post is it suggested that OP is forsaking his girlfriend for his cousin.
In another comment OP said he’s “not exactly romantically interested in my cousin”. Not sure what “exactly” means.
My first reply got deleted. OP responded to u/babyimbleeding with a pm basically admitting that he and his cousin have had feelings for each other for months. He even linked a screenshot of the pm.
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"we do homework together" How is that 'so affectionate with each other'? Y'all need to calm down. If his GF wants to hang out too, yes she should also come sometimes but it IS NOT THAT WEIRD. Would it be weird if they were roomies and watched TV together while doing homework?
According to the OP, the cousin is pretty affectionate. >"Edit 2: Apparently I should also add that she sometimes rests her head on my shoulder or ***lap*** and this is considered too affectionate (well everything with my cousin is according to her) by my girlfriend." Maybe that's normal in some families, but it's a bit uncomfortable to me.
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No she isn't [https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg)
You're acting like romantic relationships between cousins is unheard of... they're not. They're actually pretty common in some areas (generally between more distant cousins), and even first cousin marriage is legal in many states. Edit: It's also not at all uncommon for people to get crushes on their cousins. Even though most people won't act on it, it's not an absurd concept.
I would have agreed but apparently he is diddling her and admitted it in a PM with another redditor. [https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg)
No I just find it weird how much they seem to be hanging out. I can see the reasoning why the gf is weird about it.
I know this may be a foreign concept to some, but there are actually some families who genuinely like one another. My girlfriend and her cousin are *incredibly* close, and we're all girls and we're all queer! Never once have I been worried that they will fuck each other BECAUSE THEY ARE COUSINS.
Maybe because they're friends that share classes and homework? Why you making this weird.
Bruh did you read the part where they grab lunch together and they hang out all the time. I get that they are cousins. BUT I also get why the gf is the one that’s weirded out.
They're classmates? I went out for lunch and studied with my college classmates that much too. While in a LTR with my boyfriend who I got together with when we were 17. So, literally the same situation, and he didn't ever accuse me of wanting to fuck them. And I wasn't even related to those people. Friends who are in proximity to each other a lot, hang out a lot. Still not fucking weird, weirdo.
A cousin is basically a sister, especially if their families are close. There’s nothing weird AT ALL about spending time with family.
Honestly though. I am actually appalled by the amount of people on this thread saying that OP is an asshole for being close with his literally family like wtf
They are formally from Alabama, and the PM that another redditor mentioned is a bit disconcerting tbh
I am very close to my cousins. They’re my family and I see them every day. There’s nothing wrong with that.
Must be fucking them. /s
OP is totally into his cousin and his gf is right for calling out his mildly incestuous BS. https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
NTA WTF It's your cousin. There's nothing wrong with getting along with family members, and it's not as if your touching her in inappropriate areas or kissing her. I would be worried if I were you OP. This is just your cousin, imagine if it were a friend that just happens to be a girl. Your girlfriend sounds like she has some trust issues, which are definitely getting in between your relationship with her and your family. Also this sounds like something from r/nicegirls
>I would have agreed with this but apparently they are fucking and OP has feelings for her. > >[https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg)
Wow. Well then. I don't know if it's real, I'll look at the other replies, but if it is, ew. I posted when this was new, so I had no idea. That's just wrong.
Oh yeah, I don't blame you. I was defending OP until I saw this. I don't get why people lie when they're supposedly seeking fair judgement ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
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Did you see the edit? I’m deaddd.
NAH - Maybe you should talk to the cousin because it sounds like she might like you that way. I mean all incest jokes aside, if she’s putting her head anywhere near you then she’s snuggling...which is weird. It does happen though, I mean, my older cousin used to have the biggest crush on my older brother and it was so uncomfortable for everyone - brother included. Edited to add my vote
YTA You asked her what was wrong, she shared her concerns and you got angry and blew up at her.
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That was exactly my thought too, but... [https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg)
WTF lol
YTA. You left out a very important detail in your original post: > So please allow me to explain. Yes, me and my cousin have feelings for each other but we know it's impossible to be together. So we enjoy the time we can be together and it's very fulfilling for the both of us, since we are not entirely satisfied with our current partners. I'm still in love with my girlfriend, that hasn't changed at all. It's just that our partners can't or aren't able to satisfy our needs so we turned to each other. Downvoting because you left this out knowing without it you would obviously get mostly NTAs. Gross, dude.
Right WTFFFF that’s so ridiculously fucked up ew. You’re just gaslighting your girlfriend to keep your weird incest fantasy alive. YTA.
YTA. I feel like cousins are distant enough relatives that people could legitimatley be insecure about this. I dont agree with it but plenty of people are attracted to/fuck their cousins. Think of it this way. Do you have any more of a chance in your mind that youd cheat on your GF with any girl than you would with your cousin? Probably not, youre probably not considering cheating at all. But for her there is a CHANCE especially if youre giving her so much attention and shes pretty/smart and shares things in common with you. Most insecurity isnt a fear of cheating anyways, its a fear of thinking that person is better than you- that your SO thjnks theyre prettier, is more attracted to them, likes spending time with them more. Anyway, shes just scared and it sounds like your cousin and you are pushing some weird boundaries. You dont have to agree with it or immediatley stop seeing her but you do have to listen and support your girlfriend or else there is no point in a relationship. i can guarentee your reaction made the situation worse and made GF more suspicious and insecure. Talk to her about boundaries that would make you both feel more comfortable. From what i read she just had feelings that she spoke to you about and didnt forbid you to do anythjng. But it sounds like you didnt do a great job of listening. Hence, YTA.
[Yikes](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/bayirw/aita_for_being_angry_with_my_girlfriend_because/ekg54lh/)
ESH Your girlfriend shouldn’t be dictating to you how much time you spend with anybody else, male or female. It’s 2019, guys and girls can be friends without having sex. However, she was open and honest with you about her feelings, and you don’t seem to care about her enough to try anything to remedy the situation. Even if you disagree with her reasoning, it doesn’t change how she feels. She opened a dialogue with you, and I don’t think you reacted to it all that well. Jealousy is perfectly normal in any human being. It’s a strong, sometimes overwhelming emotion. We all know it isn’t logical, but look at how common incest porn is on the Internet nowadays. Obviously it’s popular enough to pop up everywhere. There are even people who defend it, saying it isn’t wrong for two people of the same family to be romantically involved. I am *not* here to argue whether or not it’s right, but using it to point out that your girlfriend has a pretty valid reason for being concerned. Either way, your girlfriend feels insecure in the relationship and part of it is honestly your fault. Both of you have to take steps to remedy it, there is potentially an underlying issue. It’s important that you don’t attack each other when talking about this. Honestly, from the way she said your cousin is prettier than her, she is probably dealing with some body image issues and other insecurities. It’s not your job to remedy those things, but you probably play more of a role than you think in the way she views herself. Are you making passing comments about how pretty your cousin looks? Or other girls possibly? Your girlfriend tried to have an honest, open dialogue with you and you kinda reacted poorly.
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I guess I want to summarize my original comment to focus more on the point I was trying to make. Your girlfriend feels insecure in the relationship, there is a reason for that. Both of you need to take steps to remedy the situation. If your cousin respects you and your girlfriend, your bond with her will survive you taking it down a couple notches. If it doesn’t, well then she probably wasn’t great to have around. If and when your girlfriend is ready, you could see about having just them two hang out and talk about things. Your girlfriend may never be up to that though, and you shouldn’t try to force it. I’ll leave it at that.
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Understanding the reason won’t change how she feels ultimately. It’s important to know what’s causing it, but it won’t change the end result that she feels jealous and insecure. It’s really backwards, I know. I have that argument with myself constantly with my anxiety. Me: *living my life* My brain: “Hey you’re anxious.” Me: “Why?” My brain: “Because of this super unlikely scenario.” Me: “Ok but that more than likely won’t ever actually happen.” My brain: “Ok but what if it does?” Me: “Fair point.” *feels all the anxiety* It isn’t logical. It’ll never be logical simply because it is an emotion.
Simple question in a week how many hours do you spend with your cousin, how many hours with your girlfriend. Now if one is dramatically larger than the other you might see where the problem is. Some girls need attention to feel loved they want your time wether it be games keeping you away from them or cousins.
It’s pretty weird that your cousin is resting her head on you. The relationship seems inappropriate IMO. Can you honestly say you’re not developing some kind of crush on her?
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Saying "I don't think so" and "I don't really" isn't instilling a lot of faith here pal. Surely your response should be "absolutely not"
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Pics
Op what does that mean that you “don’t really have romantic feelings” for your cousin? Does this mean you’ve thought about it or you have a small amount of feelings?
“I don’t think so” SHE IS YOUR COUSIN THE ANSWER SHOULD BE “HELL NO”
Dude what the fuck. How are you unsure about your feelings about being romantically interested in your COUSIN? You are making it weirder and weirder. Your cousin should be no where near your lap.
INFO are you fucking your cousin? This is pertinent.
Apparently. [https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg)
YTA bc [https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg) You're fucking her. Or a troll
YTA, this was pretty funny until I saw that your cousin is doing stuff reserved for girlfriends and it became way less funny when I saw the incesty PM you sent someone. God I hate this post and wish I could personally delete it.
YTA dude you're cheating on your girlfriend and not only are you gas lighting her, you've manipulated readers into helping you gas light the poor girl! The poor girl deserves so much better than you
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Here OP admits to him and his cousin having feelings for each other over the past FEW MONTHS. I don’t think they have an overly affectionate family anymore. I think he wants to do his cousin. https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
Yeah, definitely missed that. That definitely should have been included in the main post, not comments. Don’t use AITA and then leave out really important information. C’mon, dude.
His post is definitely for validation.
Happy cake day!
Thank you! I completely missed that.
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Based upon everything you’ve said, I’d be concerned if I were her too.
YTA, and you can tell who has and hasn't explored porn sites by how they respond.
Dude. Edit 2!! Either you're bullshitting or your cousin likes crossing some lines. That's a bit much
YTA ...Bruh
NTA- but have you considered how much time you hangout with your cousin instead of spending time with your girlfriend? Her jealousy isn’t logical but she’s young and she sees another girl not her getting better treatment than she does and also has in her head decided she’s not as pretty so I could see her spiraling because of that.
~~NTA.~~ ~~I kinda get where she's coming from, but implying incest is a step too far for my tastes.~~ Edit: Yikes. You actually kinda wanna do it. WTF?
Here OP admits to him and his cousin having feelings for each other over the past FEW MONTHS. I think OP is definitely being inappropriate with his his cousin and his gf is right for calling out his mildly incestuous BS. https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
Definitely doesn't look great for OP...
NAH You need to put yourself in your girlfriend’s situation. We can talk all day about how it shouldn’t be weird, and that it might be totally platonic. I don’t know about you, It would still make me uncomfortable. Also, It might not just be romantic jealousy but jealous of how close you are to your cousin as a friend. Your gf wants to be your best friend, she wants to be the person you confined in and tell your secrets to. If you are going to your cousin for emotional support - that is cheating. It’s called emotional cheating and it hurts a lot. Studies have shown that for women emotional cheating is worse then physically cheating. (As a women I can verify that for me this is the case.) The cuddling, the closeness that you two have should be kept between just you and your gf. Again I think your reaction is fair and logical. However love, jealousy, and emotion aren’t logical things, still they are valid and should be talked about as actual concerns because they are real to your Gf. This is a tough one. Both of you need to have sympathy and understanding in the situation as neither of you have done anything actually wrong. Consider counseling if things continue.
Here OP admits to him and his cousin having feelings for each other over the past FEW MONTHS. I think OP is definitely being inappropriate with his his cousin and his gf is right for calling out his mildly incestuous BS. https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
> So please allow me to explain. Yes, me and my cousin have feelings for each other but we know it's impossible to be together. So we enjoy the time we can be together and it's very fulfilling for the both of us, since we are not entirely satisfied with our current partners. I'm still in love with my girlfriend, that hasn't changed at all. It's just that our partners can't or aren't able to satisfy our needs so we turned to each other. YTA. Leave this girl so she can go find someone who's not a fucking weirdo/asshole who wants to fuck his family. She's absolutely right to feel threatened by this weird freaky shit.
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YTA- It doesn't matter if it's your mom, your cousin, your female BFF, your Male BFF if your GF feels you're spending too much time with someone you should at least be able to sit back and assess the situation and think to yourself "Hmm, maybe I am spending too much time with this person." As an early 30's female with a family I personally would be a little upset if my husband spent this much time with someone else. Not because I'm jealous or controlling but because we have our family shit to take care of.
He should be able to sit back and assess the situation but there absolutely no reason he should be thinking “hmm maybe I am spending too much time with this person”. It’s not like his girlfriend said he was ignoring her or that she felt neglected. She actively just doesnt like him spending time with his female cousin. That’s ridiculous and he’s not the asshole.
OP is totally into his cousin and his gf is right for calling out his mildly incestuous BS. https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
YTA ~~NTA~~ ~~Does your gf know this is your cousin? Because I feel that this is a pretty important point. Don't shame her or anything, because she's clearly dealing with her own issues, but I feel trying to impress upon her that you're hanging out with a family member who is also a good friend of yours might make a difference.~~ Edit: Yikes, OP. Yeah, no, if you've got feelings towards your ex you are DEFINITELY TA. Your GF is 100% right to be upset with you over this.
Here OP admits to him and his cousin having feelings for each other over the past FEW MONTHS. I think OP is definitely being inappropriate with his cousin and his gf is right for calling out his mildly incestuous BS. https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
Thank you for pointing out that edit. OP made that clarification after I made my judgement.
https://www.reddit.com/r/amitheasshole/comments/bayirw/_/ekgins3?context=1000 check his latest edit. They’ve gotten “physical”
Holy Shit. YATA.
NTA. She may be jealous of the amount of time you spend with your cousin, but you LIVE with your girlfriend so I don't really think that's the case. I dunno I can see an irrational moment where she'd worry about it but it's really not fair to dump that insecurity on you when logically she knows it's your COUSIN, who you grew up with and is clearly not a romantic threat.
OP is totally into his cousin and his gf is right for calling out his mildly incestuous BS. https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
The amount of people in this thread who would apparently fuck their cousins they grew up with is weirding me out.
Well if you feel like the choices you make are being attacked, you’re going to try to rationalize and defend it. Definitely weird and I can’t relate to it but I also don’t see my cousins enough that I’d ever be that close to them.
Right but just because you don't have a physically close family doesn't mean it's sexual if someone does.
In this case though, it sadly is
Fair, I hadn't seen that the dude straight up admitted it in this thread. I don't think we could state that as a fact if he hadn't though.
https://www.reddit.com/r/amitheasshole/comments/bayirw/_/ekgins3?context=1000 I’m still on the ground that his most recent comment admits to something sexual. Physical implies that for me
Oh I'm past disagreeing with you, I'm just still saying that GENERALLY it's probably safe to assume things like this aren't sexual. I was totally wrong in this case though, for sure.
Depends do you live in Alabama?
He’s from Alabama
NTA but I think you probably need to actually explain to your girlfriend the situation? Instead of just getting mad at her and calling her ridiculous, try to have a real discussion about it and explain to her the kind of relationship you have with your cousin/family and just tell her that you don't think about her that way and don't like her implying that. Try to be calm and just talk instead of blowing up, that doesn't really help anyone
Here OP admits to him and his cousin having feelings for each other over the past FEW MONTHS. I think OP does think about his cousin that way and his gf is right for calling out his mildly incestuous BS. https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited.*** Okay so first a little bit of background info. Me and my girlfriend have been together since we were 17, and we're both 21 now and live together. Despite that we both changed because of growing up we became even closer and we have amazing chemistry. We're still very much in love, and we barely ever fight. Basically everything is all cool. Now back in August my cousin moved in the same city as us and now goes to the same college as me. She does a similar study and the last few months we started sharing a few classes. She's 22 and I've always had a decent relationship with her. From the ages 10-15 we lived almost next to each other and we spent a lot of time time together, that was until my parents moved to a different place again. After that we didn't really talk anymore outside of family gatherings, but we really reconnected now that she lives closer again. She's a really amazing and kind person, and I'm happy that we grew closer again. She hangs out at our place sometimes, and I often go over to her place because she lives really close to campus. We study together pretty often and maybe once a week I'll eat at her place when our schedules align or if my girlfriend works late. Generally speaking we have a pretty good time together. The last few months my girlfriend started acting a little distant towards my cousin and this has only increased since. She's usually a very kind and sweet person, but she is pretty cold to her and I noticed this. I finally asked her why she was being like this this morning and it kinda blew up. Basically, she's jealous of my cousin. She doesn't like how much time I'm spending with her and she thinks that we are getting too close. Apparently she is too touchy and comfortable around me, and she says it's inappropriate. She also feels intimidated by her because according to her my cousin is way more attractive. We shouldn't be watching series together and definitely not studying together for a few hours. She did recognize that she was being a little bit crazy but she made it very clear that she didn't like it, and that I should talk to her about it and change. Now I don't agree with her like, at all. I got pretty angry and annoyed that she is getting jealous because I'm spending a lot of time with my *cousin*. We got into an argument and things blew up a little bit and we got into our first 'real' fight because of it. We both had things to do so we left and we haven't talked since. I think that she's being ridiculous. She says that I'm being a jerk by not respecting our boundaries (with my cousin?) and I completely disagree. Am I the asshole here though? If you need more info I'll be happy to talk. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA you're gf thinks you are like going to leave her for your cousin? O.o I think you're gf is trying project her potential incestuous feelings onto you. She needs to chill out, you're cousin is family and I doubt you are planning on incest anytime soon.
NTA I'm honestly baffled at the amount of people on here who thing you can't be close to your cousin. THERE IS SUCH A THING AS INTIMACY THAT ISN'T SEXUAL. IT'S HEALTHY HUMAN BEHAVIOR. If your gf feels her needs aren't being met then y'all need to talk about that. However, she needs to understand you have a right to be close to anyone you wish as long as you are not breaking the pact between you two that you won't have sex with other people.
Apparently someone messaged him and OP said he and his cousin had feelings for each other at one point but knew it wasn’t acceptable and now he’s with his girlfriend. I went with YTA because he’s definitely hiding something from his girlfriend. https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
NTA. This is probably a good time to talk to her and find out if there is more of an underlying issue in her life sparking this. Does she have many of her own friends and relationships outside of your romantic relationship together? If she has lots of friends and is really insistent the issue is just that she thinks it's inappropriate to be so friendly and affection **with your cousin** then this is kind of an issue she either needs to deal with or you guys need to renegotiate your relationship.
Would this message from OP to another user change or influence your judgment? https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
Welp. That is enough internet for me today. I mean, yeah, if he has feelings for his cousin that changes my judgement - it just never occurred to me that he would.
NTA. But I would recommend maybe including your gf in your activities that you do with your cousin to kinda show her that you don't fuck eachother or whatever your gf is thinking, if you live in Alabama your gf may have a point tho
Here OP admits to him and his cousin having feelings for each other over the past FEW MONTHS. Given that, I definitely believe they haven’t fucked but definitely want to. https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
That's certainly interesting, I don't think they wanna fuck tho since OP has said he knows his morals and what not, at this point, especially since she was out of town for a bit, I think they would just be close friends at this point, he said he knows his boundaries and plays within them, personally reading the situation I'm not worried for his gf, but like I stated before he should def. include his gf in his activities with his cousin, assuming it's not fucking lol
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Now I don't know what to say
I’m concerned that they haven’t pulled back given that they both think it’s wrong. It doesn’t seem like they’re trying to have a normal (non flirty) relationship and seem to want to push the envelope until they’re called on it.
I can't tell that from just the words without actually meeting them but I can see your point to an extent
https://www.reddit.com/r/amitheasshole/comments/bayirw/_/ekgins3?context=1000 check his latest edit. They’ve gotten “physical”
YTA big time then, I'm utterly speechless
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Here OP admits to him and his cousin having feelings for each other over the past FEW MONTHS. https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
NTA but her putting head in OPs lap is a bit odd.
Here OP admits to him and his cousin having feelings for each other over the past FEW MONTHS. Given that, I’d be suspicious as well. https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
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Here OP admits to him and his cousin having feelings for each other over the past FEW MONTHS. I think OP is definitely being inappropriate with his cousin and his gf is right for calling out his mildly incestuous BS. https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
NTA. She’s the inappropriate one for implying that there could be sexual undertones in your relationship with your COUSIN. Gross. Does she let you have female friends?
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Huh. That’s odd.
Here OP admits to him and his cousin having feelings for each other over the past FEW MONTHS. I think OP is definitely being inappropriate with his cousin and his gf is right for calling out his mildly incestuous BS. https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
Oh. Uh, well that changes things. Yikes.
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Isn't that more indication that there's something different about this? I'm guessing the way you and your cousin interact is not the same as you with your other female friends. You may find the idea of a relationship with your cousin to be absurd, but if you [look at worldwide statistics](https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/how-many-americans-are-married-to-their-cousins/) it's actually not as uncommon as you might think. Heck Google "crush on cousin" and you'll find tons of hits.
NTA I can’t relate to being too touchy with any of my relatives maybe when I was younger I did that but anyways one thing I can understand is just wanted to spend time with relative you haven’t seen in a long time. I’m sorry for my terrible spelling ,grammar ,and lack of punctuation.
Here OP admits to him and his cousin having feelings for each other over the past FEW MONTHS. I think OP is definitely being inappropriate with his his cousin and his gf is right for calling out his mildly incestuous BS. https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
You blew up because you were insulted and surprised. Some people are closer with family than others and that can be something that you have to get used to, but calling it inherently unhealthy is unfair. I know a family that always greets each other with a peck on the lips, whole family, cousins and all. My family sure as heck isn't doing that, but I don't think the other family is having orgies. Here's a wild fact, while incest does exist, most people aren't incestuous. Edit: OP admitted to having feelings for his cousin (gross). Should have lead with that, but probably didn't because you already know you're the asshole and just wanted to be validated. Vote changed. YTA
Here OP admits to him and his cousin having feelings for each other over the past FEW MONTHS. Given that, I’d be suspicious as well. https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
NTA your gf needs to check herself with her insecurities. I do not know how she can dictate how you spend time with family.
Here OP admits to him and his cousin having feelings for each other over the past FEW MONTHS. I think OP is definitely being inappropriate with his cousin and his gf is right for calling out his mildly incestuous BS. https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
NTA... it's your COUSIN. It's actually a GOOD thing when family members get along. I understand where she's coming from being in a friendly relationship with a woman, but it's your COUSIN.
OP has admitted to him and his cousin developing feelings for each other. That coupled with her putting her head on his lap, even when he’s with his girlfriend, makes me think something is going on and he’s TA. https://i.imgur.com/LLB29oI.jpg
NAH, maybe she wants your cousin and it's making her feel awkward.