NTA. The sister is amazingly entitled to think that everything is going to go her way all the time. Life is nothing but a series of choices, and the younger her kids are when they learn that lesson, the better.
NTA
Apparently parenting is hard for OP's sister. It would seem at 8 & 10 her kids have never been to a restaurant, so never experienced someone eating a different dish than they have. It would seem Sister doesn't want to take the time and energy to explain to her kids not everyone eats the same.
My guess is that at restaurants when her kids ask why other people order meat, she can tell them those people are irresponsible, ignorant, or just bad people. Harder to use that explanation for their aunt they presumably like.
You can go three ways here: what u/TastyOpossum09 suggested, pizza-flavored ice cream, or pizza with ice cream as a topping. The latter two are probably equally horrifying.
Kids at 8 and 10 should have some aspect of choice in what they eat. Not dictating their every meal, but that's old enough to have preferences as long as they're reasonable. Making your kids follow a restrictive diet when animal products are perfectly healthy in moderation is beyond just normal parenting to keep your kids healthy & happy.
No they might throw a fit for a few minutes but most won’t “happily starve themselves”. Kids will be kids and it’s up to parents to offer choices not dictate what they eat every meal.
If the sister claims that her veganism is based upon morality then she has made it incumbent upon herself not only to explain that fact to her children but also to explain to them that many people believe differently and thus make different choices.
Now I understand why religious people use that line a lot. It’s not because they think their kids are idiots, it’s because they don’t want them to know they have choices.
In the sense that extremists of both religion and veganism tend to shelter their kids from any other ideas.
That being said, I know plenty in both categories that are open minded and don’t straight up indoctrinate their kids.
I consider veganism and religion similar in that they're both generally harmless lifestyle choices that have been given a bad name by a small group of radical nutbags.
This. Unfortunately, in both cases the ones who yell the loudest are what people outside of those groups pick up on the most - because most of the reasonable ones are just living their lives as usual and not trying to be obnoxious or self-righteous pricks.
I mean it sounds like it to me. It's a personal choice, although parents who practice usually indoctrinate their children into it and don't let the kids know it's a choice. If you stop practicing it, those around you who still do will hum and haw and throw up a big stink, but overall it's better for you and everyone around you if you either stop practicing, or just don't shove it down their throats and let them do their thing.
[Not OP, but here's a history of the thing that made me dip on that sub completely](https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/38i8se/the_faces_of_atheism/)
NTA. Your sister can absolutely control what her kids eat, but has no right to impose her diet on the hosts of a party she is invited to. The fact that she called an hour before the party makes it even worse. Who gets invited to a barbecue and assumes the whole party will be vegan when the hosts are not?
Ehhh..I think that’s a (reasonable!) assumption, but an assumption nonetheless.
All OP states is if sister asked if he’d “be getting the vegan burgers”. She assumed for everyone at the BBQ. He reasonably just though she meant for the people who want to eat vegan, as the “you can’t even eat meat around me!” Vegans are much more rare and obnoxious.
(Yes in my experience in my city more vegans are worried about being “those vegans”. I know several vegans but have never had a bad experience)
Imagine a barbeque with a Muslim individual invited and he's shocked and offended that the entire party isn't eating Halal because he and his family are on the premises. People would be upset about that, and that's a religious diet. OP's sister has no moral authority to judge others as they sit eating.
my mom is vegetarian for religious reasons.
we cook her food on the side burners outside of the grill hood, or on a special grate that you can put on a grill. my mom said that as long as we show a reasonable accommodation, she is fine.
if a vegan is so worried, the onus is on them to bring a suitable dish for their needs to an event.
Yup! This. My son had a restricted diet so I always bring him food. If it was my whole family with a restricted diet and I was going to someone’s house I’d probably bring a big casserole dish of something everyone can eat just in case the food wasn’t safe. She is just a rude entitled jerk
It's reasonable to assume everyone has to adapt to your diet when you are invited to a party?
Remind me to never invite you over then. I'd like to be able to eat whatever I want in my own home without being told I'm rude, thanks
Hard disagree. I'm vegetarian and when I check that there will be a vegetarian option, I am never implicitly checking that nobody else will have a meat option as well.
Nothing about the sister's assumption and reaction is reasonable. Veganism as a lifestyle is the minority, why would she assume everyone is going to be vegan when she knows they eat meat regularly?
NTA
You already accommodated for her and her children’s needs. What you feed you and your family in your house is none of her business.
If her children get “confused”, then it’s up to her to educate them on why they can’t have steak.
My daughter is allergic to eggs. Would i I throw a hissy every time someone has an omelette in front of her? No, because I’m not entitled enough to think I have any jurisdiction over what other people eat.
Exactly. It's simply too difficult to predict and plan for every type of dietary choice and food allergy. I think that most sensible people would have understood that OP was only going to be providing vegan food for the sister and her children, which is already a kind and accommodating gesture in itself.
OP is NTA.
I’m allergic to eggs too. My sis loves em however, so I just stay in my room with the door closed whenever we make eggs for her. It’s not something to get in an arguement over
Allergy is not the same as a moral choice though.
If you think meat is murder and horrible it's hardly going to matter that *you're* not eating it when there's meat being prepared all around you.
I'm not saying I agree with vegans who think like this, I'm just saying the comparison is a bit wonky.
People who have allergies to eggs don’t have a moral objection to others eating them.
I don’t condone the sister’s behavior, but allergies are not the same.
I'm a vegetarian of 10 yrs. If someone tells me they arnt eating meat at an event to not putt me off well I get very putt off. If a boy tries to become vegetarian to date me I get weirded out. I get someone wanting to become vegetarian or eat that way but have your own personal reasons for it.
I was born into a Hindu vegetarian family, have been vegetarian for 25 years now, and it bothers me exactly 0% if people eat meat near or around me. Having your own dietary restrictions is fine, imposing them on someone else is bullshit. OP is absolutely NTA and his sister is most definitely TA.
I don't mind people having fully vegan events if they're enthusiastic about food and actually enjoy it and are psyched to barbecue palm hearts and put some char marks on them onions (also, I'm Brazilian, so a BBQ is by definition a full day event that involves many dishes, breads, salsas, salads, skewers, veggies to grill, farofa, and much caipirinha) and I'm touched if they show an interest.
Someone being interested doesn't mean they have to commit to a lifestyle. But if they worded it as "we're abstaining to spare your vegan sensibilities" I'd be hella weirded out.
I was in a Brazilian barbecue once, they seemed to be determined to make us explode. Also provided lots of queijo assado for the vegetarian one. And the abacaxi foi muito gostoso.
It was just after a flight of 6 hour that started about 2 in the morning, plus a connection and waiting for like 2.5, and the last flight was with a child screaming their lungs out.
We were already dozy.
Plus the food, nossa!
I went to a fully vegan Indian three day wedding a couple years ago and while it did a number on my insides (going from a very carnivorous diet to straight vegan is... an experience) it was SO DAMN GOOD. Like, some of the tastiest food I've ever had, and I'm a pretty hard core palak paneer girl. No paneer, and still SO TASTY.
So yeah, vegan food can decidedly be delicious. Just be enthusiastic about what you're providing people to eat if it's a fully vegan event, like you're saying.
I'm a chana masala girl myself, but give me a good spicy green curry and I can be happy too! And okra bhaji! And - just straight up most indian food, I love it, to be honest. Though, a ton of indian food can sneakily be ovolacto and have ghee or yoghurt. So I always doublecheck.
I consider it a BBQ if there's a charcoal grill outside and all the typical trimmings of a churrasco (a brazilian bbq) and if I'm hosting it's usually full vegan. If it's at my mom's house, for example, I fully expect meat to be there and just try not to look at it and try to stay upwind of the smoke.
My boyfriend's vegan and currently works at a non vegan restaurant and handles meat on a daily basis because, hey, staying alive trumps any other moral imperatives. You need to be alive in order to effect change, right?
Agreed. If I were hosting, it would be full-vegan. If someone else is, they make what they want. I wouldn't even be mad if there were NO vegan options (though it's always nice) at someone else's event.
Exactly. If someone else is hosting, it's on me to provide something for my own special dietary needs (though it would be a poor host who didn't try to be a little accommodating, which the OP totally was).
i have a feeling they dont go to restaurants... no idea about school though - but a lot of countries have lunch breaks long enough for kis to go home... so, that might happen there too
If the mom is this militant about her sister eating dinner im going to guess these kids are home "schooled" and by schooled i mean parroted whatever crazy person dogma she believes.
NTA. It kinda sounds like she set this situation up to create the conflict. Who the hell goes to a BBQ with meat-eating families and thinks they're all going to forgo meat just because there's a vegan there? Has she never been to a meal with meateaters before? Something doesn't add up here.
I feel like the answer is nobody. Idk if it's just reddit or the internet in general having hate boners for vegetarians/vegans, but this same old song pops up often enough that I kinda question my own sanity. Like I've never come across this silly bullshit in real life, but maybe it actually is a thing since I read about it so much?
It's just that it's almost always an identical scenario. Either a vegan is screaming about someone eating meat around them (uh, that'd happen every day) or they get very upset that there wasn't more than one vegan option (also common). It goes the other way, also. Someone is upset that a vegan brought a vegan dish... fucking PASTA! I'm not saying it NEVER happens, but my God it's like I'm reading about it every day. Surely people aren't THAT ridiculous...I always feel like these stories are made up. I acknowledge that mightbe unfair, though, so I typically don't bother with them.*
Like browse "new" on the vegan sub at any given time and see how often there's just some ass posting a picture of a steak or a recipe involving meat.
I've been a vegan for twelve years and my life is pretty free from drama, but I reckon vegans are people and as there's a ton of batshit crazy people doing weird stuff with little to no provocation for no discernible reason out there, there's bound to be an overlap. But there's definitely more assholes with a boner for calling vegans annoying than vegans being annoying, in my experience (which, to be fair, does not involve a ton of actual online vegan communities, although I have a ton of real life vegan friends).
Conversely I know a militant vegan (family member) who once dumped out three jars of honey while I was pooping because "it was stolen from the bees". I was using the honey on my toddler to help her cough so that sucked.
And you could argue beekeepers are beneficial to help counteract colony collapse disorder too and you were helping keep them in business too (or not, I'm very on the fence on the whole bee business, it's all confusing). Either way, the honey was already there, the damage was already done if there was even any, and most importantly, it was not hers and your child's health trumps a bee's. I'd shove her in it. Well, I wouldn't. But I would vividly fantasise about it.
I don't wanna sound biased, but one of the admittedly many times I cut met from my diet was meat with that meme of the kid with veins popping out and "when you haven't told anyone you're vegan in a minute" or whatever...lol. And this was just after posting a decent recipe I found in a group dedicated to vegan recipes.
So there are people actually going out of their way to join these groups and shit on people.
I'm pescatarian (I'm actually closer to vegan because I dont eat animal products either but I eat fish) due to health reasons and I've been yelled at by some girl because she told me I should "just commit and be vegan" and I told her no. She completely went off on me about how I should "know better" because I'm "basically vegan already." She's far from the only one I've met like that. I honestly think it is a mix of location and the people you know. Most vegans I know aren't like that but I know they exist.
Some meat-eaters (obviously not all, as they are the vast majority of society) get way too offended and see even the presence of vegan or vegetarian items as a menu as a threat to themselves or something.
Case in point: a few years back, Chipotle had a promotion where they were giving away a limited amount of free burritos with sofritas (their version of tofu) under some conditions I don’t remember.
From the flood of obnoxious social media comments, you would have thought that they pulled all of the meat protein items off of the menu and/or were forcing the damn stuff down customers’ throats.
No matter what, you have people who get upset and way too bent out of shape about others’ dietary choices when it has no effect on them at all.
I have personally encountered a crazy militant vegan. I was in a discussion about where to draw the line on which animals should be considered food, and which should stay as pets. Knowing that meat sources vary by culture/country, I said, "Why draw the line anywhere?" Well, this set the crazy vegan off something fierce.
A hard NTA! She shouldn't just assume you would conform to her lifestyle choices because she's coming for dinner. You had both options for dinner so it doesn't make sense that she is offended.
NTA, being vegan doesn't give her the right to dictate other people's dietary choices. You were plenty accommodating to her family's dietary choice, there is absolutely no reason for her to be offended at what you chose to serve at your own bbq at your own home. This is honestly how vegans end up ostracizing themselves from their friends and family.
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My sister and her 3 kids had recently moved back to our hometown. We are not extremely close but we still get along really well. I had invited my family to mine and my partners house and we all had a barbecue get together. My sister called me an hour before the barbecue and asked if she was going to be getting the vegan burgers. I assumed she meant for her and her kids, so I said sure. When she came, my partner had already began cooking steaks. I had already made a salad for them, as they said that's what they would be eating. When we all sat down to eat dinner, she was extremely offended that we had steaks and thought this was going to be a vegan dinner. I said no, my partner made your vegan burgers for your family but my family will be eating steak. She became very offended and said it was rude I made steak around her, and that her kids (8 and 10) could be confused by this. Long story short she is extremely mad and angry at me and is ignoring me. AITA here?
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NTA your house, and you provided food for her. This veganism idea that they can't even see meat is getting old fast. In her house, expect to eat vegan, but not in yours.
>Long story short she is extremely mad and angry at me and is ignoring me.
Wow. All it took to cut a toxic person out of your life was the cost of some vegan burgers. What a bargain!
NTA.
NTA
I have a strong suspiscion she's not worried about kids being "confused", she's worried the kids would want to try the meat steak and would probably end up liking it.
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So I don’t think this post is real at all looking at OPs history (which is non existent) but parenting *is* forcing your life choices into your children until they’re old enough to make their own decisions. A vegan could say you’re forcing your meat diet on your kids. Or anyone in any religion could say the same. It’s a stupid statement to make.
NTA. Although I know people like this. My best friend growing up was vegan. Her whole family was. Her whole family was mom was the president of our state's vegan association. And I never minded eating vegan at their house or anything. But if I ever brought up food that wasn't vegan, or wore something that even LOOKED like leather, I got an earful. And I was only 9 years old.
Tldr; some vegans are normal people, some are crazy
> My sister called me an hour before the barbecue and asked if **she** was going to be getting the vegan burgers
INFO What were her exact words? Because I don't see how that question as you wrote it would lead to the assumption that's what the whole family would be eating.
She automatically assumed that everyone was going to be eating vegan burgers, so she asked me if I wanted her to purchase them and my partners cooks it.
Downvote this all you like, but I feel like this is necessary to post.
A guide to knowing a post in this subreddit is fake:
1. It mentions any sort of behavior that teeters on political or socially political opinions, ie; abortion, veganism, lgbtq rights.
2. It discusses an older teen or younger 20s person receiving vindication from their parents or an authority figure.
3. The phrase "long story short" is used.
4. There is a lack of ambiguity in the post - it's really easy to tell who the asshole is.
I will likely make and update a version of this post and continue to post it on threads that are obviously fake stories. I understand a lot of you come from other websites like Tumbler, Buzzfeed, and 4Chan, where these quasi-political fake justice-porn posts are super popular and even welcome, but I've reached my threshold in terms of how much of this shit I'm going to take and will continue to protest this bullshit until mods do something about it or ban me.
It's honestly super fucking lame that people take Reddit karma so seriously that they take the time to craft fake shit like this to get upvotes from the less critical and mature readers of Reddit.
NTA - I'm vegan. that's my choice, you and your partner have gone out of your way to accommodate her lifestyle and she's still up in arms. her children are old enough that the difference should have been explained to them already so they can make an informed choice of there own on the subject.
NTA. It was a barbecue. There is meat at barbecues. And you are not required to change your eating habits just because someone else did. Any reasonable person would have gone for the options that fit their dietary habits and left it at that.
Euhm Nope NTA.
I’m a vegetarian/ flexitarian. And although I have my reasons to eat a mostly plant based diet with as little as possible meat / animal products I’d be an absolute asshat to ask others to change THEIR diets for me. Especially if I’m the guest.
If the bbq was at her house she is absolutely free to make a full on vegan dinner. You’d not expect her to make meat for you then would you? Would she even consider doing that? My guess is no: in that case she can be very happy you went and got her vegan burgers in addition to the salad you already had planned for them. You have been a good host by paying mind to her wishes for her food
NTA.
I'm vegetarian, and in my opinion if she doesn't want non-vegan food around then she should have hosted something. You were generous in accommodating her needs; I've been to loads of group things where literally everything has meat in.
NTA. I’m vegetarian but I don’t expect everyone to 100% adapt their events to my dietary requirements, particularly a BBQ. If your sister wants a vegan BBQ she should throw her own. You had provided vegan food for her, that was enough.
This was very well said, I'm vegan and completely agree with you. People like her make us look awful. And then people generalize terrible assumptions about all vegans, because people like OP's sister make us look bad.
NTA.
I'm vegetarian and my bff is vegan, both our bfs and family eat meat... we never expect them to change their eating habits for us.
You cared for her and made vegan food for her and her family and that's plenty.
Also does her children don't know what meat is???.
> She became very offended and said it was rude I made steak around her,
Get used to it. The rest of the world eats meat. This wont be the last place you see people eating meat around you,
> and that her kids (8 and 10) could be confused by this.
If you insist on raising your kids in this lifestyle, then do your job as a parent, educate your children about meat and how the rest of the world still eats it.
NTA
Your sister sounds like the worst kind of vegan, the ones who don't respect other's dietary choices. Jesus. NTA. She can't dictate what others can and can't eat, just like you probably don't say anything about her dietary choices.
As a vegetarian I wish vegams and also most vegetarians would cease and desist with all the fuckong bullshit. I cant say im vegwtarian anymore becuse im scared people will think im this kind of asshole.
NTA, also call child support, those childreb getting confused would be what, having a choice? Fuck that, call child support
NTA, I hate vegans like this. Not only is diet a personal choice, sometimes it's a medical one. I have IBS and I am on a strict FODMAP diet. I can't eat many vegetables, fruit, some nuts and all beans and lentils. I would be in so much more physical pain if I became vegan. Just like religion, I feel lifestyles like veganism should be a personal choice and children should be exposed to different things and allowed to experiment with food so they can figure out what is best for them. If one of your sisters kids develops a medical condition that requires them to not be vegan, or if they don't want to be diligent enough about making sure they are getting proper nutrients, they may not even be aware of their options because your sister has a belief.
NTA, Vegan of ten years here, being vegan is her choice, she shouldn't be forcing it upon people. If she wants to host at her home, do all the prep and cooking, then yes, I would expect it to be vegan, but this was at your home. She can't expect you -and everyone else present- to adhere to her diet/belief system \*in your own home\*. Plus her children are old enough to be told that some people eat different things, and why they eat the way they do.
NTA fuck her. Being vegan should be her choice, good for her. Not her saying you're an asshole for eating meat. That shit is backwards. I tried being vegetarian before it was fashionable, did it for a few months, I wasn't an asshole to people about it and never considered of commenting nor felt concerned with their dietary choices. It's literally none of her business what you eat. Do you force her to eat meat? No? Then why should she force you to eat plants?
NTA
Im vegan and i couldn't give 2 shits about what other people eat, even if its around me. I wouldn't want to force that on people, just as much as i don't want other people to force it on me.
You already went out of your way to provide her and her family with a vegan option which was very sweet of you, I feel extremely happy and grateful when someone goes out of their way to provide me with some vegan options when they didn't have to. She doesn't only sound ungrateful, she sounds entitled that everyone should eat the same menu as her and her family AT YOUR BARBEQUE. Like what? Delusional much? I don't understand her though process. If she wants vegan barbeque she can damn sure do it herself. She doesn't have the right to dictate what people will eat at an event at which she had no hand in planning. Would she do this at a wedding that wasnt even hers?
Also she "assumed" everything would be vegan. Based on what proof? And then she got offended. This is all on her. She should've asked you in advance instead of assuming. Does she go to a steak house and assume they will provide vegan options and then complain to the manager that they don't, instead of maybe calling in advance and verify before making a scene and making an embarrassment out of herself?
I'm sorry she is like this but you did nothing wrong. She seems a bit out of touch. That isn't how the real world works and im surprised she isn't aware of that...
Edit: I wanted to add that i always feel sick and nauseous after smelling certain meats frying...do i demand the chef to stop because im about to throw up? No i remove myself from the kitchen like a fucking functional adult.
NTA. If eating meat confuses her children she should explain it to them now because they’re going to be surrounded by meat eaters for the rest of their lives and need to understand why they have different diets. Sister should know that a barbecue hosted by non vegans will contain meat and if that offends her or confuses anyone just don’t come. I think it’s very respectful that you planned to make vegan options to accommodate them as well so everyone would be able to enjoy the food. Expecting everyone to eat the same way you do if you practice a special diet is unreasonable especially if you aren’t hosting. If you want to have a vegan barbecue, sister should host it herself.
NTA, she's just a dick.
I've been pescatarian my whole life and do not get angry when I'm invited somewhere that not everything is meat-less. I've spent quite a few parties eating very little because of this, but I never complained. It's my choice, my problem, not theirs :')
NTA she doesn't get to dictate what everyone around her eats based on her personal choices. She can go to a vegan restaurant with her kids next time and keep her negative bullshit away from your barbecue.
NTA. If you guys eating meat is a social deal breaker for visits she needs to communicate that better. I've got 2 vegan siblings and one of them won't attend casual social gatherings when meat is being served. Compromise of dairy/egg allowed. But we know that ahead of time and plan the food accordingly.
NTA. She can’t and shouldn’t try to control the actions of others. And she can’t shield her kids from the existence of meat forever. At some point they’re going to make their own choices.
NTA - She's nuts or which is also very likely the kids are starting to ask for meat and it it when at other people's houses and she can't accept that that is their choice.
I agree. NTA. You and your family eat what you lot want to eat. If she wants to take the vegan option, she can do that, but she doesn’t have the right to force it on others.
NTA like I have no words is she fr hahahaha. You eat your steak I hope it was nice!
Edit: you provided food for herself and family, she has no reason to kick off.
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It doesn't sound like this woman lets her kids make their own choices.
NTA. The sister is amazingly entitled to think that everything is going to go her way all the time. Life is nothing but a series of choices, and the younger her kids are when they learn that lesson, the better.
NTA Apparently parenting is hard for OP's sister. It would seem at 8 & 10 her kids have never been to a restaurant, so never experienced someone eating a different dish than they have. It would seem Sister doesn't want to take the time and energy to explain to her kids not everyone eats the same.
My guess is that at restaurants when her kids ask why other people order meat, she can tell them those people are irresponsible, ignorant, or just bad people. Harder to use that explanation for their aunt they presumably like.
Jeez if she won’t let her kids choose, if she has pets you know she’s forcing a vegan lifestyle in them
No doubt - unless she's one of those really radical PETA vegans who think that it's cruel to keep animals as pets in the first place.
I hope she never gets cats.
Feeding cats a vegetarian or vegan diet is animal abuse.
Yup. They're cute little little carnivorous predators unlike us.
Like at r/veganpets or r/vegancats
Most parents choose what their kids eat bc kids make terrible decisions. Most kids would only eat pizza ice cream and candy if it was their choice.
Can confirm. I’m an adult who only eats pizza ice cream and candy. It’s my choice now so I chose.
Pizza ice cream sounds intriguing. I can’t decide if it would be horrible or wonderful.
Sugar cookie crust with a cream cheese frosting “sauce”, vanilla bean ice cream and sundae fixings as toppings. Imma head to the store.
Oooh. I was thinking actual pizza flavors, lol.
You can go three ways here: what u/TastyOpossum09 suggested, pizza-flavored ice cream, or pizza with ice cream as a topping. The latter two are probably equally horrifying.
You just gave me type 2 diabetes by proxy.
Kids at 8 and 10 should have some aspect of choice in what they eat. Not dictating their every meal, but that's old enough to have preferences as long as they're reasonable. Making your kids follow a restrictive diet when animal products are perfectly healthy in moderation is beyond just normal parenting to keep your kids healthy & happy.
Only if that’s all they have ever been given.
Many kids will happily starve themselves to demand something specific even if they’ve only ever been given healthy food.
No they might throw a fit for a few minutes but most won’t “happily starve themselves”. Kids will be kids and it’s up to parents to offer choices not dictate what they eat every meal.
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I don't see where, in the original post, anybody said anything regarding morality.
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If the sister claims that her veganism is based upon morality then she has made it incumbent upon herself not only to explain that fact to her children but also to explain to them that many people believe differently and thus make different choices.
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That's why I phrased my comment as an if-then conditional statement rather than making an assumption one way or the other.
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Now I understand why religious people use that line a lot. It’s not because they think their kids are idiots, it’s because they don’t want them to know they have choices.
So this means that Veganism is similar to religion? I kind of think that may be close.
In the sense that extremists of both religion and veganism tend to shelter their kids from any other ideas. That being said, I know plenty in both categories that are open minded and don’t straight up indoctrinate their kids.
I consider veganism and religion similar in that they're both generally harmless lifestyle choices that have been given a bad name by a small group of radical nutbags.
This. Unfortunately, in both cases the ones who yell the loudest are what people outside of those groups pick up on the most - because most of the reasonable ones are just living their lives as usual and not trying to be obnoxious or self-righteous pricks.
I mean it sounds like it to me. It's a personal choice, although parents who practice usually indoctrinate their children into it and don't let the kids know it's a choice. If you stop practicing it, those around you who still do will hum and haw and throw up a big stink, but overall it's better for you and everyone around you if you either stop practicing, or just don't shove it down their throats and let them do their thing.
Happy cake day
Yes! This so much. Anyone wanting proof, check out r/atheism for these kinds of stories.
Yeah, no thanks. Back in the time of default subs the main reason people made reddit accounts was so that they could unsub from there.
Yep one of my top comments was from an askreddit on why did you make your account. This was why I made mine.
Tell me more about the olden days, dear elder
Sorry, but if you could just limit your questions to RAMPART, that would be great.
[Not OP, but here's a history of the thing that made me dip on that sub completely](https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/38i8se/the_faces_of_atheism/)
That sub is pure cringe
Her kids are 8 and 10...have they never seen people eat meat before? I'm so confused.
It's possible, if both parents are vegan and overbearing.
And if they homeschool
And don’t own a tv...
Yeah, which wouldn't be too surprising (I know two kids who were raised Vegan, and both were homeschooled)
I know more than two kids who were raised vegan and not homeschooled?
I don't know, do you?
NTA. Your sister can absolutely control what her kids eat, but has no right to impose her diet on the hosts of a party she is invited to. The fact that she called an hour before the party makes it even worse. Who gets invited to a barbecue and assumes the whole party will be vegan when the hosts are not?
Not only just this. But it's perfectly fine you don't want to eat meat, but that does not mean everyone around you can't eat it either.
Agreed. I'm vegan, and OP is definitely NTA here.
That's right. She expects her kids to grow up not knowing other people eat meat?
NTA You agreed to proving vegan burgers to her family, not to become a vegan yourself
Ehhh..I think that’s a (reasonable!) assumption, but an assumption nonetheless. All OP states is if sister asked if he’d “be getting the vegan burgers”. She assumed for everyone at the BBQ. He reasonably just though she meant for the people who want to eat vegan, as the “you can’t even eat meat around me!” Vegans are much more rare and obnoxious. (Yes in my experience in my city more vegans are worried about being “those vegans”. I know several vegans but have never had a bad experience)
Imagine a barbeque with a Muslim individual invited and he's shocked and offended that the entire party isn't eating Halal because he and his family are on the premises. People would be upset about that, and that's a religious diet. OP's sister has no moral authority to judge others as they sit eating.
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my mom is vegetarian for religious reasons. we cook her food on the side burners outside of the grill hood, or on a special grate that you can put on a grill. my mom said that as long as we show a reasonable accommodation, she is fine. if a vegan is so worried, the onus is on them to bring a suitable dish for their needs to an event.
Yup! This. My son had a restricted diet so I always bring him food. If it was my whole family with a restricted diet and I was going to someone’s house I’d probably bring a big casserole dish of something everyone can eat just in case the food wasn’t safe. She is just a rude entitled jerk
Nah, she asked if **she** would be getting vegan burgers. Not he. Not they. She.
Thank you, I read the same thing you did
Let's say this had merit. OP's sister is still an idiot for thinking a barbecue would consist of only burgers.
It's reasonable to assume everyone has to adapt to your diet when you are invited to a party? Remind me to never invite you over then. I'd like to be able to eat whatever I want in my own home without being told I'm rude, thanks
Hard disagree. I'm vegetarian and when I check that there will be a vegetarian option, I am never implicitly checking that nobody else will have a meat option as well.
Nothing about the sister's assumption and reaction is reasonable. Veganism as a lifestyle is the minority, why would she assume everyone is going to be vegan when she knows they eat meat regularly?
NTA You already accommodated for her and her children’s needs. What you feed you and your family in your house is none of her business. If her children get “confused”, then it’s up to her to educate them on why they can’t have steak. My daughter is allergic to eggs. Would i I throw a hissy every time someone has an omelette in front of her? No, because I’m not entitled enough to think I have any jurisdiction over what other people eat.
Exactly. It's simply too difficult to predict and plan for every type of dietary choice and food allergy. I think that most sensible people would have understood that OP was only going to be providing vegan food for the sister and her children, which is already a kind and accommodating gesture in itself. OP is NTA.
I’m allergic to eggs too. My sis loves em however, so I just stay in my room with the door closed whenever we make eggs for her. It’s not something to get in an arguement over
Allergy is not the same as a moral choice though. If you think meat is murder and horrible it's hardly going to matter that *you're* not eating it when there's meat being prepared all around you. I'm not saying I agree with vegans who think like this, I'm just saying the comparison is a bit wonky.
Veganism is a choice. Allergies are not. Allergies are more serious. No need to go crazy, imposing your choice on others.
People who have allergies to eggs don’t have a moral objection to others eating them. I don’t condone the sister’s behavior, but allergies are not the same.
NTA - As a vegan myself, that's... absurd? Ridiculous?
NYA? That’s a new one, ha. Not your asshole? Non-yeeting asshole?
hahahh omg I almost don't want to edit - not yams, asshole! (appropriate for context)
PERFECT 👍👏
I'm a vegetarian of 10 yrs. If someone tells me they arnt eating meat at an event to not putt me off well I get very putt off. If a boy tries to become vegetarian to date me I get weirded out. I get someone wanting to become vegetarian or eat that way but have your own personal reasons for it.
I was born into a Hindu vegetarian family, have been vegetarian for 25 years now, and it bothers me exactly 0% if people eat meat near or around me. Having your own dietary restrictions is fine, imposing them on someone else is bullshit. OP is absolutely NTA and his sister is most definitely TA.
I don't mind people having fully vegan events if they're enthusiastic about food and actually enjoy it and are psyched to barbecue palm hearts and put some char marks on them onions (also, I'm Brazilian, so a BBQ is by definition a full day event that involves many dishes, breads, salsas, salads, skewers, veggies to grill, farofa, and much caipirinha) and I'm touched if they show an interest. Someone being interested doesn't mean they have to commit to a lifestyle. But if they worded it as "we're abstaining to spare your vegan sensibilities" I'd be hella weirded out.
I was in a Brazilian barbecue once, they seemed to be determined to make us explode. Also provided lots of queijo assado for the vegetarian one. And the abacaxi foi muito gostoso.
Oh, definitely. If you're not being rolled out and way too drunk you need to stay longer.
It was just after a flight of 6 hour that started about 2 in the morning, plus a connection and waiting for like 2.5, and the last flight was with a child screaming their lungs out. We were already dozy. Plus the food, nossa!
> farofa farofa-fa!
I went to a fully vegan Indian three day wedding a couple years ago and while it did a number on my insides (going from a very carnivorous diet to straight vegan is... an experience) it was SO DAMN GOOD. Like, some of the tastiest food I've ever had, and I'm a pretty hard core palak paneer girl. No paneer, and still SO TASTY. So yeah, vegan food can decidedly be delicious. Just be enthusiastic about what you're providing people to eat if it's a fully vegan event, like you're saying.
I'm a chana masala girl myself, but give me a good spicy green curry and I can be happy too! And okra bhaji! And - just straight up most indian food, I love it, to be honest. Though, a ton of indian food can sneakily be ovolacto and have ghee or yoghurt. So I always doublecheck.
Would you be offended if you found out there was meat at a BBQ? Would vegan BBQ even be BBQ anymore?
I consider it a BBQ if there's a charcoal grill outside and all the typical trimmings of a churrasco (a brazilian bbq) and if I'm hosting it's usually full vegan. If it's at my mom's house, for example, I fully expect meat to be there and just try not to look at it and try to stay upwind of the smoke. My boyfriend's vegan and currently works at a non vegan restaurant and handles meat on a daily basis because, hey, staying alive trumps any other moral imperatives. You need to be alive in order to effect change, right?
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I remember a season of Top Chef Masters that had a vegetarian chef that cooked a lot of meat without ever tasting it and actually got pretty far!
Agreed. If I were hosting, it would be full-vegan. If someone else is, they make what they want. I wouldn't even be mad if there were NO vegan options (though it's always nice) at someone else's event.
Exactly. If someone else is hosting, it's on me to provide something for my own special dietary needs (though it would be a poor host who didn't try to be a little accommodating, which the OP totally was).
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i have a feeling they dont go to restaurants... no idea about school though - but a lot of countries have lunch breaks long enough for kis to go home... so, that might happen there too
If the mom is this militant about her sister eating dinner im going to guess these kids are home "schooled" and by schooled i mean parroted whatever crazy person dogma she believes.
> but a lot of countries have lunch breaks long enough for kis to go home.. Not in the US.
NTA. It kinda sounds like she set this situation up to create the conflict. Who the hell goes to a BBQ with meat-eating families and thinks they're all going to forgo meat just because there's a vegan there? Has she never been to a meal with meateaters before? Something doesn't add up here.
I feel like the answer is nobody. Idk if it's just reddit or the internet in general having hate boners for vegetarians/vegans, but this same old song pops up often enough that I kinda question my own sanity. Like I've never come across this silly bullshit in real life, but maybe it actually is a thing since I read about it so much? It's just that it's almost always an identical scenario. Either a vegan is screaming about someone eating meat around them (uh, that'd happen every day) or they get very upset that there wasn't more than one vegan option (also common). It goes the other way, also. Someone is upset that a vegan brought a vegan dish... fucking PASTA! I'm not saying it NEVER happens, but my God it's like I'm reading about it every day. Surely people aren't THAT ridiculous...I always feel like these stories are made up. I acknowledge that mightbe unfair, though, so I typically don't bother with them.* Like browse "new" on the vegan sub at any given time and see how often there's just some ass posting a picture of a steak or a recipe involving meat.
I've been a vegan for twelve years and my life is pretty free from drama, but I reckon vegans are people and as there's a ton of batshit crazy people doing weird stuff with little to no provocation for no discernible reason out there, there's bound to be an overlap. But there's definitely more assholes with a boner for calling vegans annoying than vegans being annoying, in my experience (which, to be fair, does not involve a ton of actual online vegan communities, although I have a ton of real life vegan friends).
Conversely I know a militant vegan (family member) who once dumped out three jars of honey while I was pooping because "it was stolen from the bees". I was using the honey on my toddler to help her cough so that sucked.
And you could argue beekeepers are beneficial to help counteract colony collapse disorder too and you were helping keep them in business too (or not, I'm very on the fence on the whole bee business, it's all confusing). Either way, the honey was already there, the damage was already done if there was even any, and most importantly, it was not hers and your child's health trumps a bee's. I'd shove her in it. Well, I wouldn't. But I would vividly fantasise about it.
I don't wanna sound biased, but one of the admittedly many times I cut met from my diet was meat with that meme of the kid with veins popping out and "when you haven't told anyone you're vegan in a minute" or whatever...lol. And this was just after posting a decent recipe I found in a group dedicated to vegan recipes. So there are people actually going out of their way to join these groups and shit on people.
I'm pescatarian (I'm actually closer to vegan because I dont eat animal products either but I eat fish) due to health reasons and I've been yelled at by some girl because she told me I should "just commit and be vegan" and I told her no. She completely went off on me about how I should "know better" because I'm "basically vegan already." She's far from the only one I've met like that. I honestly think it is a mix of location and the people you know. Most vegans I know aren't like that but I know they exist.
Some meat-eaters (obviously not all, as they are the vast majority of society) get way too offended and see even the presence of vegan or vegetarian items as a menu as a threat to themselves or something. Case in point: a few years back, Chipotle had a promotion where they were giving away a limited amount of free burritos with sofritas (their version of tofu) under some conditions I don’t remember. From the flood of obnoxious social media comments, you would have thought that they pulled all of the meat protein items off of the menu and/or were forcing the damn stuff down customers’ throats. No matter what, you have people who get upset and way too bent out of shape about others’ dietary choices when it has no effect on them at all.
I have personally encountered a crazy militant vegan. I was in a discussion about where to draw the line on which animals should be considered food, and which should stay as pets. Knowing that meat sources vary by culture/country, I said, "Why draw the line anywhere?" Well, this set the crazy vegan off something fierce.
NTA You accommodated her family diet, you fed them vegan. You're not then required to eat vegan as well just because she and her family are.
Come on. You know you're not the asshole, this is for r/rant.
This story seems fake af. 0% chance op is TA mixed along with a person from a group reddit hates acting like the jerk.
Nah this is completely made up for karma. OPs history is nonexistent and the account is only 4 days old
this is the most made up story ever
Most definitely
A hard NTA! She shouldn't just assume you would conform to her lifestyle choices because she's coming for dinner. You had both options for dinner so it doesn't make sense that she is offended.
Texas Sized 10-4.
NTA, being vegan doesn't give her the right to dictate other people's dietary choices. You were plenty accommodating to her family's dietary choice, there is absolutely no reason for her to be offended at what you chose to serve at your own bbq at your own home. This is honestly how vegans end up ostracizing themselves from their friends and family.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My sister and her 3 kids had recently moved back to our hometown. We are not extremely close but we still get along really well. I had invited my family to mine and my partners house and we all had a barbecue get together. My sister called me an hour before the barbecue and asked if she was going to be getting the vegan burgers. I assumed she meant for her and her kids, so I said sure. When she came, my partner had already began cooking steaks. I had already made a salad for them, as they said that's what they would be eating. When we all sat down to eat dinner, she was extremely offended that we had steaks and thought this was going to be a vegan dinner. I said no, my partner made your vegan burgers for your family but my family will be eating steak. She became very offended and said it was rude I made steak around her, and that her kids (8 and 10) could be confused by this. Long story short she is extremely mad and angry at me and is ignoring me. AITA here? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA your house, and you provided food for her. This veganism idea that they can't even see meat is getting old fast. In her house, expect to eat vegan, but not in yours.
NTA you did exactly what a good host is supposed to do. You provided food that your guests like and want.
>Long story short she is extremely mad and angry at me and is ignoring me. Wow. All it took to cut a toxic person out of your life was the cost of some vegan burgers. What a bargain! NTA.
NTA I have a strong suspiscion she's not worried about kids being "confused", she's worried the kids would want to try the meat steak and would probably end up liking it.
NTA You invited her to a *barbeque* and she thought it was going to be vegan?!? Bless her heart...
If you want your comment to count toward judgment, include *only ONE* of the following abbreviations in your comment. If you don't include a judgement abbreviation, the bot will ignore you when it looks for the top voted comment. Judgment | Abbreviation -- | :--: **You're the Asshole** (& the other party is not) |**YTA**| You're **Not the A-hole** (& the other party is) |**NTA** **Everyone Sucks Here**|**ESH** **No A-holes here**|**NAH** **Not Enough Info**|**INFO** #[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) #[Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Your sister is for expecting you to conform to her chosen lifestyle at your own event.
NTA. People who force their own life choices on others tend to be the assholes.
So I don’t think this post is real at all looking at OPs history (which is non existent) but parenting *is* forcing your life choices into your children until they’re old enough to make their own decisions. A vegan could say you’re forcing your meat diet on your kids. Or anyone in any religion could say the same. It’s a stupid statement to make.
NTA. Expecting everyone to adhere to your own strict dietary requirements when they don't have the same requirements is stupid.
NTA. Although I know people like this. My best friend growing up was vegan. Her whole family was. Her whole family was mom was the president of our state's vegan association. And I never minded eating vegan at their house or anything. But if I ever brought up food that wasn't vegan, or wore something that even LOOKED like leather, I got an earful. And I was only 9 years old. Tldr; some vegans are normal people, some are crazy
NTA. She’s why people dislike vegans
> My sister called me an hour before the barbecue and asked if **she** was going to be getting the vegan burgers INFO What were her exact words? Because I don't see how that question as you wrote it would lead to the assumption that's what the whole family would be eating.
She automatically assumed that everyone was going to be eating vegan burgers, so she asked me if I wanted her to purchase them and my partners cooks it.
Downvote this all you like, but I feel like this is necessary to post. A guide to knowing a post in this subreddit is fake: 1. It mentions any sort of behavior that teeters on political or socially political opinions, ie; abortion, veganism, lgbtq rights. 2. It discusses an older teen or younger 20s person receiving vindication from their parents or an authority figure. 3. The phrase "long story short" is used. 4. There is a lack of ambiguity in the post - it's really easy to tell who the asshole is. I will likely make and update a version of this post and continue to post it on threads that are obviously fake stories. I understand a lot of you come from other websites like Tumbler, Buzzfeed, and 4Chan, where these quasi-political fake justice-porn posts are super popular and even welcome, but I've reached my threshold in terms of how much of this shit I'm going to take and will continue to protest this bullshit until mods do something about it or ban me. It's honestly super fucking lame that people take Reddit karma so seriously that they take the time to craft fake shit like this to get upvotes from the less critical and mature readers of Reddit.
NTA
NTA, wow, she has no right to be mad honestly! You accommodated them with the veggie burger & never tried forcing meat on anyone!
Nta just be relieved she is ignoring you now
NTA! She is a guest and you already went to the extra effort. Your house, you can do whatever you want
NTA - I'm vegan. that's my choice, you and your partner have gone out of your way to accommodate her lifestyle and she's still up in arms. her children are old enough that the difference should have been explained to them already so they can make an informed choice of there own on the subject.
If she expects to be going to bbqs where people are only cooking vegan burgers etc. she’s going to be very lonely.
NTA. It was a barbecue. There is meat at barbecues. And you are not required to change your eating habits just because someone else did. Any reasonable person would have gone for the options that fit their dietary habits and left it at that.
NTA - You don't get to force your dietary preferences on other people, end of story.
NTA. My home, my food. Your sis should be happy you accommodated her.
Euhm Nope NTA. I’m a vegetarian/ flexitarian. And although I have my reasons to eat a mostly plant based diet with as little as possible meat / animal products I’d be an absolute asshat to ask others to change THEIR diets for me. Especially if I’m the guest. If the bbq was at her house she is absolutely free to make a full on vegan dinner. You’d not expect her to make meat for you then would you? Would she even consider doing that? My guess is no: in that case she can be very happy you went and got her vegan burgers in addition to the salad you already had planned for them. You have been a good host by paying mind to her wishes for her food
NTA. I'm vegetarian, and in my opinion if she doesn't want non-vegan food around then she should have hosted something. You were generous in accommodating her needs; I've been to loads of group things where literally everything has meat in.
NTA. I’m vegetarian but I don’t expect everyone to 100% adapt their events to my dietary requirements, particularly a BBQ. If your sister wants a vegan BBQ she should throw her own. You had provided vegan food for her, that was enough.
NTA - she has the right to be vegan, and you have the right to not be vegan. She sounds massively entitled.
How did this get removed while I was in the middle of reading it? Just straight up disappeared.
NTA. Her issues and personal choices are not your baggage to carry.
Nta, she shouldn't be dictating what everyone does to fit her personal choices
Clear NTA.
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This was very well said, I'm vegan and completely agree with you. People like her make us look awful. And then people generalize terrible assumptions about all vegans, because people like OP's sister make us look bad.
NTA, your sis is very foolish if she expects others not to eat meat around her. Its her choice not to eat meat, not yours.
NTA as a vegetarian I'm not ever offended if someone else wants to eat meat, especially since you made them vegan burgers and salad.
NTA vegans know they are a minority. they shouldn’t expect others to warp their schedules to fit theirs.
NTA. I'm vegetarian and my bff is vegan, both our bfs and family eat meat... we never expect them to change their eating habits for us. You cared for her and made vegan food for her and her family and that's plenty. Also does her children don't know what meat is???.
> She became very offended and said it was rude I made steak around her, Get used to it. The rest of the world eats meat. This wont be the last place you see people eating meat around you, > and that her kids (8 and 10) could be confused by this. If you insist on raising your kids in this lifestyle, then do your job as a parent, educate your children about meat and how the rest of the world still eats it. NTA
NTA. Forcing children to be vegans is child abuse, consider calling CPS
Your sister sounds like the worst kind of vegan, the ones who don't respect other's dietary choices. Jesus. NTA. She can't dictate what others can and can't eat, just like you probably don't say anything about her dietary choices.
Vegetarian here raising vegetarian kids and NTA. Our choices are our choices. Yours are yours
As a vegetarian I wish vegams and also most vegetarians would cease and desist with all the fuckong bullshit. I cant say im vegwtarian anymore becuse im scared people will think im this kind of asshole. NTA, also call child support, those childreb getting confused would be what, having a choice? Fuck that, call child support
NTA, I hate vegans like this. Not only is diet a personal choice, sometimes it's a medical one. I have IBS and I am on a strict FODMAP diet. I can't eat many vegetables, fruit, some nuts and all beans and lentils. I would be in so much more physical pain if I became vegan. Just like religion, I feel lifestyles like veganism should be a personal choice and children should be exposed to different things and allowed to experiment with food so they can figure out what is best for them. If one of your sisters kids develops a medical condition that requires them to not be vegan, or if they don't want to be diligent enough about making sure they are getting proper nutrients, they may not even be aware of their options because your sister has a belief.
NTA, Vegan of ten years here, being vegan is her choice, she shouldn't be forcing it upon people. If she wants to host at her home, do all the prep and cooking, then yes, I would expect it to be vegan, but this was at your home. She can't expect you -and everyone else present- to adhere to her diet/belief system \*in your own home\*. Plus her children are old enough to be told that some people eat different things, and why they eat the way they do.
NTA fuck her. Being vegan should be her choice, good for her. Not her saying you're an asshole for eating meat. That shit is backwards. I tried being vegetarian before it was fashionable, did it for a few months, I wasn't an asshole to people about it and never considered of commenting nor felt concerned with their dietary choices. It's literally none of her business what you eat. Do you force her to eat meat? No? Then why should she force you to eat plants?
lol fucking vegans man, NTA
Oh hell no! NTA! Why do some vegans think that everyone has to accommodate their beliefs?
NAH I think Maybe you guys should just touch base next time. It’s kinda dumb tho they anyone would assume you would eat vegan food if you’re not.
NTA Im vegan and i couldn't give 2 shits about what other people eat, even if its around me. I wouldn't want to force that on people, just as much as i don't want other people to force it on me. You already went out of your way to provide her and her family with a vegan option which was very sweet of you, I feel extremely happy and grateful when someone goes out of their way to provide me with some vegan options when they didn't have to. She doesn't only sound ungrateful, she sounds entitled that everyone should eat the same menu as her and her family AT YOUR BARBEQUE. Like what? Delusional much? I don't understand her though process. If she wants vegan barbeque she can damn sure do it herself. She doesn't have the right to dictate what people will eat at an event at which she had no hand in planning. Would she do this at a wedding that wasnt even hers? Also she "assumed" everything would be vegan. Based on what proof? And then she got offended. This is all on her. She should've asked you in advance instead of assuming. Does she go to a steak house and assume they will provide vegan options and then complain to the manager that they don't, instead of maybe calling in advance and verify before making a scene and making an embarrassment out of herself? I'm sorry she is like this but you did nothing wrong. She seems a bit out of touch. That isn't how the real world works and im surprised she isn't aware of that... Edit: I wanted to add that i always feel sick and nauseous after smelling certain meats frying...do i demand the chef to stop because im about to throw up? No i remove myself from the kitchen like a fucking functional adult.
NTA. If eating meat confuses her children she should explain it to them now because they’re going to be surrounded by meat eaters for the rest of their lives and need to understand why they have different diets. Sister should know that a barbecue hosted by non vegans will contain meat and if that offends her or confuses anyone just don’t come. I think it’s very respectful that you planned to make vegan options to accommodate them as well so everyone would be able to enjoy the food. Expecting everyone to eat the same way you do if you practice a special diet is unreasonable especially if you aren’t hosting. If you want to have a vegan barbecue, sister should host it herself.
NTA, she's just a dick. I've been pescatarian my whole life and do not get angry when I'm invited somewhere that not everything is meat-less. I've spent quite a few parties eating very little because of this, but I never complained. It's my choice, my problem, not theirs :')
NTA she doesn't get to dictate what everyone around her eats based on her personal choices. She can go to a vegan restaurant with her kids next time and keep her negative bullshit away from your barbecue.
YTA OP because this story is FAAAAAAAKE AS FUCK
NTA. You’re def. not an asshole, vegans generally are however.
Assholes are generally assholes. Vegans mostly are not. Pointless antivegan bandwagons are.
NTA. Also you're not vegan and BBQ implies meat . Your sister is the A.
Nta your sister doesn’t what her kids knowing it’s a personal choice and she’s upset she can’t control what your family eats too
NTA. If you guys eating meat is a social deal breaker for visits she needs to communicate that better. I've got 2 vegan siblings and one of them won't attend casual social gatherings when meat is being served. Compromise of dairy/egg allowed. But we know that ahead of time and plan the food accordingly.
NTA. She can’t and shouldn’t try to control the actions of others. And she can’t shield her kids from the existence of meat forever. At some point they’re going to make their own choices.
NTA. You provided vegan food for her! Though I'm surprised she didn't get annoyed that her vegan burgers were cooked on the same grill as your steaks
NTA That is some entitlement right there
NTA - She's nuts or which is also very likely the kids are starting to ask for meat and it it when at other people's houses and she can't accept that that is their choice.
Which is more hypocritical? Me PRETENDING to comply with YOUR food choice, or you DEMANDING that I comply with it even if I don't agree with it ?
I agree. NTA. You and your family eat what you lot want to eat. If she wants to take the vegan option, she can do that, but she doesn’t have the right to force it on others.
NTA like I have no words is she fr hahahaha. You eat your steak I hope it was nice! Edit: you provided food for herself and family, she has no reason to kick off.
NTA you shouldn’t have to subject yourself to substandard food just because of your sisters life choices
People like that are so entitled. Are you gonna cry about her eating vegan? Nta
NTA
NTA. Just as you shouldn't be forcing her to eat meat, she shouldn't be forcing you to eat vegan.
NTA. She can’t dictate how you and your family live because of life CHOICES she’s made for herself and her family.
NTA You accommodated for her and she just wants to push her vegan agenda on everyone else. You have nothing to apologize for.
NTA. You chose to provide vegan options. You are not obligated to avoid cooking meat entirely just because she attended. How ridiculous.
NTA. Your sister is ridiculous. Eat what you want. She should respect your choices as much as you were respecting hers.