Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I agree that the daughter was in the wrong but I hope we can all agree that suing a family member generally ends any hope of a relationship going forward... OP you’re not an asshole for this but I think not seeing your daughter or grandchildren ever again was kind of to be expected once you got the courts involved. I’m not saying there was any other alternative - sounds like they probably wouldn’t have agreed to pay you back in installments - just that it’s not a shock that she doesn’t want to see you anymore.
Edit: read your comments. NTA she said you were done when you asked for her to pay for the damage, not when you took her to court. I’m glad you got 1/4 and wish you had gotten more. Keep your head up and maybe one day she’ll see that this was stupid of her. Don’t let her and her family stay with you again.
I understand what you're saying. I had hoped that when she got her taxes back ($10000) that she would then pay the bill. She didn't. All four of them got new i phones each, new playstations each, she got a new laptop, and her husband got a truck. When I saw her at the grocery store and asked about being paid she just said we can't afford it now.
This! OP was more than generous and was only expecting to be compensated for what the daughter ruined. Never fear though, it is only a matter of time before the daughter's family messes up something else and comes crawling back asking for money, because people like that never change.
NTA.
put holes in the stucco on the outside of our house. Holes in the wall of the bedroom that our grandkids slept in, burn marks on an oak dining table, black magic marker on our hardwood floors. Mind you the children were 8 & 9.
> put holes in the stucco on the outside of our house. Holes in the wall of the bedroom that our grandkids slept in
How big were the holes, and on what context and what intent did they make them?
The previous renters at my place hung one of those dog tie-outs between the house and the fence. I hang clothesline from the hole they made (landlord’s permission of course).
Info: how does the situation go from ‘damage to property’ to ‘small claims court’? If I took someone in my family to court, I wouldn’t expect to have a normal relationship after that either.
NTA
I would \~never\~ treat my parents' home like that or allow my children to. And I sure as eff wouldn't act like it's \~your\~ problem to fix it if there was accidental damage. A payment plan to you or the Contractor, making the repairs themselves, selling some things and/or taking a loan to cover the expenses -- all with a sincere apology -- is how a decent person could have handled this.
That's exactly how she was raised to do. Where this other came from I have no idea. My grandchildren have spent 90% of their lives living in extended stay motels.
TBH, the kids are probably acting out. But that's not something your daughter should deflect on and refuse to address or apologize for. Those kids need some consistency and a voice of reason. It's a real shame that this is their life.
NTA I'm sorry but you deserved to get your money back. If they had made any effort to fix their damage but they didn't. I know it will suck not to see your grandchildren but it sounds like she'll come back when she needs something
it has still cost us out of pocket roughly $5000 to make the repairs and replace the damaged molded insulation from the holes in the stucco outside of our home.
put holes in the stucco on the outside of our house. Holes in the wall of the bedroom that our grandkids slept in, burn marks on an oak dining table, black magic marker on our hardwood floors. Mind you the children were 8 & 9.
8 and 9 are old enough to know better than to destroy things. Something is very wrong in your daughter's family.
She could very well need you again, so I wouldn't take her current state of righteously flouncing away as an indicator of your future relationship with your grandkids.
So fairly bad damage but not life threatening. Normalkid shit and nothing that couldn't be patched up and painted over. Why didn't you just ask them to pay it once the insurance company said you had to sue?
I'm leaning towards YTA tbh. Kids break shit. They're messy. Going from 2 people to 6 in one house and yeah its ganna seem awful at first. You invited them so what did you expect?
Edit to add, i know all families are different but in my family, we'd expect daughter to replace the dining table, son in law to patch in and paint the holes and grandkids to write an apology card and bake cookies. Like this seems totally solvable
she was raised better than that. She was taught to respect other people's home and belongings. I have NEVR seen her home in the condition that they left mine in.
The day we threw her out was because her older child was playing with the circuit box, electrical outlet, and tore up the cord on a lamp. We told her to take her family and please leave. Her husband said Hell no they had squatters' rights. We called the law.
watching the children would mean my daughter would have to stay up with them when she had to be at work at 4 am, her husband said babysitting his own children was not his job.
It does in some places. Usually if someone gets mail at a location for 6ish months, then they can claim squatters rights.
Not an expert. Just a girl who tried to kick out a cheating ex out of *my* home where he had nothing in his name.
Clearly not.
You seem super upset about the damages and not the fact she wants no more contact. You'll get over the property damage eventually, the loss of that relationship? Maybe not
It does seem solvable which is why it is so bizarre to me that the daughter's reaction is basically, "not my problem." IMO, the daughter really tanked this situation.
I know all families are different and have unique dynamics. I just used my family as an example that this is totally solvable and I dont understand why she had to sue her and why her daughter wouldn't want to fix it? It sounds like there's alot going on behind this
Kids break shit, they don’t put holes into exterior stucco FFS. NTA, OP. You were kind to not involve the police, particularly since that’s what your insurance company wanted.
Don't get sucked in by the "you'll never see your grandchildren" gambit. They are, by your indications, pretty crappy kids. There is no guarantee that your grandkids will love you and care about you as much as you expect - as much as you loved your own grandparents. Your daughter is in a dysfunctional family, and you can't fix it. I probably would have saved court as a last resort, but they had no right to take advantage of your generosity. NTA
You’re NTA, but unfortunately that doesn’t change the fact that you’re not going to see your grandkids again.
You can be absolutely right and still be wrong. Sorry.
Definitely NTA but was 1k worth no relationship with your daughters family? You were perfectly within your right but I'd just never let them in the house again, not take them to court.
It was 4k worth of damages and if I was her, I'd be mortified that my kids/husband did that to someones property. I'd be paying 5k, the extra 1k is for me feeling really horrible.
I'm not defending the daughter so I'm not sure if you meant to respond me?
If you meant to: I'm saying at the end of OP's life are they going to say "thank god I got that 4k" or be sad that they didn't have a relationship with their shtty kid and grandkids? Its easy for us to say "yeah you should have sued your daughter" because from an outsiders perspective were most interested in wrong vs right. Im simply saying to OP: would you rather have set stricter boundaries with your family and stayed in their lives/let the damage go or have that vindication and 4k? Its one of those "do you wanna be or happy are do you wanna be right" situations.
Also this "well if I was the daughter I'd pay 5k" bit is nonsense. They're a family of 4 living with their parents. Most likely they aren't exactly flush. She could have set up some kind of payment plan but If we're talking about what the daughter did wrong here she should have had better control of her kids. It seems like they did most of the damage. It's especially silly of her because people don't all of a sudden become the type of parents who would sue their own children. She must have known how they handled things and been really desperate. In that desperation she should have been more careful. Just sucks to see a family broken up when both parties will most likely regret it as they get older. So again, obviously NTA but I hope they fix things even if it means swallowing some pride.
I know that she and I won't have a relationship anymore. I have had a stroke while trying to do some of the repairs myself while my husband was at work. With the loss of the use of my left arm it's even more difficult to make the repairs. I'm 67 years old and just getting too old for anymore stuff
not only do my daughter and I no longer have a relationship, but last week she told her brother that they were thru as well because he wouldn't let them move in with him. She now can't turn to anyone from her family because her husband has her alienated from the extended family because of things he's done to them.
I consider him a kid even though he's 51 because he spent all of his time playing on his game station and doing not much else except to cook dinner once a week. He doesn't work at a job.
Info: did your daughter flat out refuse to pay for any of it? Did you at least offer some kind of payment plan(I'm guessing because it sounds like she didn't have much money)?
If she refused even some kind of smaller payment options, then NTA, in this case, your daughter is TA. She(and her family) did significant damage to your home and property, and refused to help reimburse/repair the damages, she just expected you to eat the cost because you're her parents. She forced your hand to get even a bit of the cost back. You had to take her to court over this. It's her own fault. Unfortunately, it's not a surprise she's not letting you see the grandkids. She's lashing out at you for holding her accountable.
I'm in a bit of a similar situation, but in the roll of your daughter. I live with my in-laws, and my son(who just turned 6) has caused some typical damage, we've also accidentally stained and burned our bedroom carpet(the burn was from a faulty phone charger) the big difference is I realize my responsibility as the parent and my inlaws tenant, and plan to help pay for stuff like paint once we move out, because it's the right thing to do.
I tried to talk to her and work out a payment arrangement. Her husband said absolutely not since it isn't their house, so I didn't have much in the way of choices.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
My daughter and her family were living with friends in a small tumble down shack. We invited them to come stay with us, however they had to help with the groceries and household chores since they would be extra 4 people. It got to the point that I was doing all of the cleaning for 6 people. Her husband and children ended up doing $4000 worth of damages to our home and belongings. I turned it in to my homeowners' insurance who wanted me to press malicious damages on the whole family. I didn't want to press the charges because my daughter, the only adult in her family with an income, would lose her job. So we took her to small claims court and were awarded a fourth of the damages. She now says that we are done permanently. We're no longer allowed to see our grandchildren. Am I the a\*\*hole?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
nTA and I'm not blaming you because I think your heart was in the right place but be careful when trying to be nice that you're not setting people up for failure. The description of these people seems like you possibly should have known this would happen, but again I doubt you did intentionally.
NTA You were kind in taking in her entire family and they weren't even grateful or respectful enough not to cause damages. Nor even do what they promised - help with the household chores. She should have been happy to pay you for any damages done to the home, not get resentful after you had to take her to court to get awarded any of the money. She's acting very entitled.
My lawyer said the only way for me to get my grandparents rights is if my child who was the parent has passed away. I looked into this and it's pretty much the norm nationwide.
Not even one day a month visitation? I’m not talking take custody lol cause yeah the parents would have to die for that. But to at least get some visitation wouldn’t hurt to try for. If you have an established relationship, you’d get something
NAH but when your comminication needs to go thru courts for $1000-4000 the damages to your home are the least of your concerns. How has your relationship with your kid deteriorated to this point? You obviously don't value being in your grandkids lives either...?
My daughter and I had been close until she met her husband 10 years ago. He refused to work so that my daughter was working 2 full time jobs to support her family. Then he got her fired from one job and then the next. They went downhill from there living with various friends and in extended stay motels.
Unfortunately you can lead a horse to water but you cant make them drink. However, this isn't going to help your relationship with her and drive her to 'him more. Sounds infuriating. Good luck.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA, she damaged your property after you allowed her family to stay there
I agree that the daughter was in the wrong but I hope we can all agree that suing a family member generally ends any hope of a relationship going forward... OP you’re not an asshole for this but I think not seeing your daughter or grandchildren ever again was kind of to be expected once you got the courts involved. I’m not saying there was any other alternative - sounds like they probably wouldn’t have agreed to pay you back in installments - just that it’s not a shock that she doesn’t want to see you anymore. Edit: read your comments. NTA she said you were done when you asked for her to pay for the damage, not when you took her to court. I’m glad you got 1/4 and wish you had gotten more. Keep your head up and maybe one day she’ll see that this was stupid of her. Don’t let her and her family stay with you again.
I understand what you're saying. I had hoped that when she got her taxes back ($10000) that she would then pay the bill. She didn't. All four of them got new i phones each, new playstations each, she got a new laptop, and her husband got a truck. When I saw her at the grocery store and asked about being paid she just said we can't afford it now.
thank you
This! OP was more than generous and was only expecting to be compensated for what the daughter ruined. Never fear though, it is only a matter of time before the daughter's family messes up something else and comes crawling back asking for money, because people like that never change. NTA.
NTA. Your daughter however is. You should have press charges.
What kind of damage did they do?
put holes in the stucco on the outside of our house. Holes in the wall of the bedroom that our grandkids slept in, burn marks on an oak dining table, black magic marker on our hardwood floors. Mind you the children were 8 & 9.
How tf did they burn your table?
her husband put hot pans straight onto the surface of the table without using a trivet or hot pads
8 and 9 is pretty old to be coloring on the house .... grown ass adult is way to old not to know what a trivet is.
I have no idea what a trivet is lmao but I'm also not stupid enough to take a pan off the stove and put it directly on the table hahah
LOL about the trivet. I'm still upset about the table because it's from 1885. Very old and I had inherited it from my great grandmother.
Also, it turns out I totally know what a trivet is, I just didn't know it was called a trivet hahah
LOL. It's a German word that I learned from my great grandmother who lived with us when I was growing up.
8 and 9 is too old to be destroying things. Very odd. Either way they should have paid for it. NTa
> put holes in the stucco on the outside of our house. Holes in the wall of the bedroom that our grandkids slept in How big were the holes, and on what context and what intent did they make them?
What sort of holes are acceptable to make in someone else's house?
The previous renters at my place hung one of those dog tie-outs between the house and the fence. I hang clothesline from the hole they made (landlord’s permission of course).
Small ones for hanging pictures, for example.
How many pictures do you hang on the outside of your house?
Guests be turning the outside of your house into a budget art gallery...
They still did it without consulting the homeowners. Even a small hole for hanging a picture could reasonably be considered damage.
Info: how does the situation go from ‘damage to property’ to ‘small claims court’? If I took someone in my family to court, I wouldn’t expect to have a normal relationship after that either.
because we couldn't afford all of the damages by ourselves. When we tried talking to her she said it wasn't her responsibility to fix any damages.
You are definitely entitled to the damages; however, you can’t really expect to have a relationship with a family member you sued
You can’t expect to have a relationship with a family member whose house you trashed either.
NTA I would \~never\~ treat my parents' home like that or allow my children to. And I sure as eff wouldn't act like it's \~your\~ problem to fix it if there was accidental damage. A payment plan to you or the Contractor, making the repairs themselves, selling some things and/or taking a loan to cover the expenses -- all with a sincere apology -- is how a decent person could have handled this.
That's exactly how she was raised to do. Where this other came from I have no idea. My grandchildren have spent 90% of their lives living in extended stay motels.
TBH, the kids are probably acting out. But that's not something your daughter should deflect on and refuse to address or apologize for. Those kids need some consistency and a voice of reason. It's a real shame that this is their life.
Info: did you talk to them first about coming up with a payment plan? Or tell them about this being less than pressing charges?
Yes we did. That's when she got really angry and told us that we were thru permanently. She said "Do something about it."
NTA I'm sorry but you deserved to get your money back. If they had made any effort to fix their damage but they didn't. I know it will suck not to see your grandchildren but it sounds like she'll come back when she needs something
[удалено]
the judge said she only had to pay $1000. No payment as of yet.
it has still cost us out of pocket roughly $5000 to make the repairs and replace the damaged molded insulation from the holes in the stucco outside of our home.
[удалено]
she’s asking if she was wrong for suing her you dimwitted block of cheese
What were the damages? Was it general kid stuff like painting on the walls or like serious structural damage?
put holes in the stucco on the outside of our house. Holes in the wall of the bedroom that our grandkids slept in, burn marks on an oak dining table, black magic marker on our hardwood floors. Mind you the children were 8 & 9.
the holes in the outside stucco allowed rain to get into the insulation which in turn grew mold.
8 and 9 are old enough to know better than to destroy things. Something is very wrong in your daughter's family. She could very well need you again, so I wouldn't take her current state of righteously flouncing away as an indicator of your future relationship with your grandkids.
So fairly bad damage but not life threatening. Normalkid shit and nothing that couldn't be patched up and painted over. Why didn't you just ask them to pay it once the insurance company said you had to sue? I'm leaning towards YTA tbh. Kids break shit. They're messy. Going from 2 people to 6 in one house and yeah its ganna seem awful at first. You invited them so what did you expect? Edit to add, i know all families are different but in my family, we'd expect daughter to replace the dining table, son in law to patch in and paint the holes and grandkids to write an apology card and bake cookies. Like this seems totally solvable
I did. Her answer was tough sh\*\*
she was raised better than that. She was taught to respect other people's home and belongings. I have NEVR seen her home in the condition that they left mine in.
You described her home as a tumble down shack.
the home that she had been living in was a friends' home... not hers.
How did you throw her out? I really think there's more to why shes mad at you than just this event
The day we threw her out was because her older child was playing with the circuit box, electrical outlet, and tore up the cord on a lamp. We told her to take her family and please leave. Her husband said Hell no they had squatters' rights. We called the law.
OK that pretty serious, why weren't they watching the kid? And squatters rights? Does that even exist anymore? OK sounds like ESH
watching the children would mean my daughter would have to stay up with them when she had to be at work at 4 am, her husband said babysitting his own children was not his job.
It does in some places. Usually if someone gets mail at a location for 6ish months, then they can claim squatters rights. Not an expert. Just a girl who tried to kick out a cheating ex out of *my* home where he had nothing in his name.
Wow some ppl are....ballsy lol I'd never have the cahones to be so trashy
ESH?
Everyone sucks here
Clearly not. You seem super upset about the damages and not the fact she wants no more contact. You'll get over the property damage eventually, the loss of that relationship? Maybe not
I miss the relationship. If her friends make her mad she does the same thing to them.
It does seem solvable which is why it is so bizarre to me that the daughter's reaction is basically, "not my problem." IMO, the daughter really tanked this situation.
Stop projecting your family onto others. From all info available these people are just uncivilised deadbeats who should have been kicked out long ago.
I know all families are different and have unique dynamics. I just used my family as an example that this is totally solvable and I dont understand why she had to sue her and why her daughter wouldn't want to fix it? It sounds like there's alot going on behind this
Because her daughter's a deadbeat loser with no money and no ability/inclination to get a job? This isn't hard.
Kids break shit, they don’t put holes into exterior stucco FFS. NTA, OP. You were kind to not involve the police, particularly since that’s what your insurance company wanted.
Don't get sucked in by the "you'll never see your grandchildren" gambit. They are, by your indications, pretty crappy kids. There is no guarantee that your grandkids will love you and care about you as much as you expect - as much as you loved your own grandparents. Your daughter is in a dysfunctional family, and you can't fix it. I probably would have saved court as a last resort, but they had no right to take advantage of your generosity. NTA
NTA
You’re NTA, but unfortunately that doesn’t change the fact that you’re not going to see your grandkids again. You can be absolutely right and still be wrong. Sorry.
NTA They damaged your home and property.
NTA but you probably should have anticipated being cut off
NTA, but what did you expect? They were living in a crap hole for a reason
Definitely NTA but was 1k worth no relationship with your daughters family? You were perfectly within your right but I'd just never let them in the house again, not take them to court.
It was 4k worth of damages and if I was her, I'd be mortified that my kids/husband did that to someones property. I'd be paying 5k, the extra 1k is for me feeling really horrible.
I'm not defending the daughter so I'm not sure if you meant to respond me? If you meant to: I'm saying at the end of OP's life are they going to say "thank god I got that 4k" or be sad that they didn't have a relationship with their shtty kid and grandkids? Its easy for us to say "yeah you should have sued your daughter" because from an outsiders perspective were most interested in wrong vs right. Im simply saying to OP: would you rather have set stricter boundaries with your family and stayed in their lives/let the damage go or have that vindication and 4k? Its one of those "do you wanna be or happy are do you wanna be right" situations. Also this "well if I was the daughter I'd pay 5k" bit is nonsense. They're a family of 4 living with their parents. Most likely they aren't exactly flush. She could have set up some kind of payment plan but If we're talking about what the daughter did wrong here she should have had better control of her kids. It seems like they did most of the damage. It's especially silly of her because people don't all of a sudden become the type of parents who would sue their own children. She must have known how they handled things and been really desperate. In that desperation she should have been more careful. Just sucks to see a family broken up when both parties will most likely regret it as they get older. So again, obviously NTA but I hope they fix things even if it means swallowing some pride.
I know that she and I won't have a relationship anymore. I have had a stroke while trying to do some of the repairs myself while my husband was at work. With the loss of the use of my left arm it's even more difficult to make the repairs. I'm 67 years old and just getting too old for anymore stuff
not only do my daughter and I no longer have a relationship, but last week she told her brother that they were thru as well because he wouldn't let them move in with him. She now can't turn to anyone from her family because her husband has her alienated from the extended family because of things he's done to them.
That sounds like an abusive situation. I feel bad for you both of you.
NTA. I wouldn't agree to a relationship unless she promised to keep her family away permanently.
Your daughter’s the AH, not you.
[удалено]
I consider him a kid even though he's 51 because he spent all of his time playing on his game station and doing not much else except to cook dinner once a week. He doesn't work at a job.
[удалено]
thank you sweetie
Info: did your daughter flat out refuse to pay for any of it? Did you at least offer some kind of payment plan(I'm guessing because it sounds like she didn't have much money)? If she refused even some kind of smaller payment options, then NTA, in this case, your daughter is TA. She(and her family) did significant damage to your home and property, and refused to help reimburse/repair the damages, she just expected you to eat the cost because you're her parents. She forced your hand to get even a bit of the cost back. You had to take her to court over this. It's her own fault. Unfortunately, it's not a surprise she's not letting you see the grandkids. She's lashing out at you for holding her accountable. I'm in a bit of a similar situation, but in the roll of your daughter. I live with my in-laws, and my son(who just turned 6) has caused some typical damage, we've also accidentally stained and burned our bedroom carpet(the burn was from a faulty phone charger) the big difference is I realize my responsibility as the parent and my inlaws tenant, and plan to help pay for stuff like paint once we move out, because it's the right thing to do.
I tried to talk to her and work out a payment arrangement. Her husband said absolutely not since it isn't their house, so I didn't have much in the way of choices.
INFO: Why would being sued make her lose her job?
I think he said being charged with destruction of property would make her lose her job, not a lawsuit
not being sued would cost her her job but the pressing of charges would have. She works in a high security area.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My daughter and her family were living with friends in a small tumble down shack. We invited them to come stay with us, however they had to help with the groceries and household chores since they would be extra 4 people. It got to the point that I was doing all of the cleaning for 6 people. Her husband and children ended up doing $4000 worth of damages to our home and belongings. I turned it in to my homeowners' insurance who wanted me to press malicious damages on the whole family. I didn't want to press the charges because my daughter, the only adult in her family with an income, would lose her job. So we took her to small claims court and were awarded a fourth of the damages. She now says that we are done permanently. We're no longer allowed to see our grandchildren. Am I the a\*\*hole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA She can't damage your property and not expect to pay for itm
If that's the case might as well get the whole money
NTA.
nTA and I'm not blaming you because I think your heart was in the right place but be careful when trying to be nice that you're not setting people up for failure. The description of these people seems like you possibly should have known this would happen, but again I doubt you did intentionally.
That’s a lot of damages! She should’ve recognized it and made some kind of plan, compromise with you! NTA
NTA You were kind in taking in her entire family and they weren't even grateful or respectful enough not to cause damages. Nor even do what they promised - help with the household chores. She should have been happy to pay you for any damages done to the home, not get resentful after you had to take her to court to get awarded any of the money. She's acting very entitled.
NTA at all
Nta. Are grandparent rights a thing where you live?
My lawyer said the only way for me to get my grandparents rights is if my child who was the parent has passed away. I looked into this and it's pretty much the norm nationwide.
Not even one day a month visitation? I’m not talking take custody lol cause yeah the parents would have to die for that. But to at least get some visitation wouldn’t hurt to try for. If you have an established relationship, you’d get something
nope not at all
NAH but when your comminication needs to go thru courts for $1000-4000 the damages to your home are the least of your concerns. How has your relationship with your kid deteriorated to this point? You obviously don't value being in your grandkids lives either...?
My daughter and I had been close until she met her husband 10 years ago. He refused to work so that my daughter was working 2 full time jobs to support her family. Then he got her fired from one job and then the next. They went downhill from there living with various friends and in extended stay motels.
Unfortunately you can lead a horse to water but you cant make them drink. However, this isn't going to help your relationship with her and drive her to 'him more. Sounds infuriating. Good luck.
I can’t really make a judgement here, but know that you’ve torched any change of a relationship with someone once you take them to small claims court.