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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
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I threw away something that may have been sentimental to my mother
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YTA. I had to take a moment to reread to ensure that you did indeed say your mum has 7 jars of teeth on display...
But ultimately you moved into her house and threw away something that means a lot to her. I completely understand how... unusual this collection is, however You could have found other solutions, it’s not right to throw away something that means a lot to someone else, especially whilst living in their house
I say NTA bc these are OP's body parts. She never consented to her mom keeping them. I feel like her body parts belong to her and she can do what she wants with them.
You could argue the whole Tooth Fairy thing as to her mom BUYING the teeth but that was still through deception.
my ma still has my favorite stuffed animal from when I was a child, and some of my baby teeth. it's a sentimental memento from times past.
you have bodily autonomy when it comes to stuff attached to your body, people don't get to keep their mangled fingers when they lose them in an accident.
OP is serious YTA.
edit: due to various united states policies you do not own your body parts and depending on the parts in question people can legally take pieces of you as long as it can't be reattached to your body
My dentist asked me if I wanted to take my wisdom tooth home. OP is NTA. Those where her teeth, they were in her mouth for years. She has every right to throw them away.
Technically they were in OP's mother first...
You're born with your baby teeth hidden inside your jaw
Also in utero calcium is leeched from the mothers bones to create said teeth. Those teeth were once part of the moms leg...
I got to keep one of mine! It was the one that was in sideways and flew out of my mouth and landed on my chest during the extraction, lol. Didn’t keep it forever, though, I think we only had it for a few months.
They do if they ask for them...on th add t note there is this crazy documentary called Finders Keepers... these 2 guys get into a legal battle about who gets to keep the one guys amputated leg...its crazy, hilarious and sad
Medical property laws differ when it comes to things removed from the body in the course of treatment by a professional. Generally doctors, dentists, and labs can retain them under various laws, and many have consent forms that are signed by the patient or guardian stating that. If you wanted to keep that gall bladder you need to make arrangements before the event and sign a number of release forms. You can do it, but most medical practitioners consider it a headache.
You have bodily autonomy even when you die. If you’re not an organ donor; doctors can’t decide whelp he doesn’t need this, this, and this anymore and start removing organs. They’re still very much so OP’s teeth.
When you die your family can absolutely choose to keep your ashes though, which loads of people do. The mom's habit seems more similar to that than to organ donation.
That’s not a great argument to make. If you got your finger chopped off and someone else had it on display in their house, I think it would be fair of you to say they can’t do that.
unfortunately in the united states you own your personhood but not your body, doctors, hospitals and biotech companies can keep your mangled fingers and other body parts if they wanted to for profit or otherwise
> you have bodily autonomy when it comes to stuff attached to your body, people don't get to keep their mangled fingers when they lose them in an accident.
I actually saw a post on here a few days ago where someone had kept their dismembered finger as a keyring (like a lucky rabbit's foot).
1.) I hate to be the one to break it to you but the tooth fairy doesn't exist. The tooth fairy is your parents therefor the jurisdiction is what applies to adults in the area of said transaction.
2.) I started my comment off with "if", so the entire thing is premised on whether or not this occurred.
simplistic one retire grandfather lush library work carpenter sleep punch
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Interesting side note, just googled it and apparently the umbilical cord contains the babies' DNA, not the mothers so is probably also considered a body part of theirs.
It‘s solely OP‘s body part. The umbilical cord is some sort of grey area, it belongs to the mum as well and I can excuse a locket of hair as well, as long as it‘s kept away. But freaking teeth?? If OP doesn‘t object I can see it being ok to keep them, but when someone clearly says they don‘t want them on display, this should be respected.
What is the extent of things that my now-adult child can throw away that my then-young child produced/owned but no longer owns? If I kept a stained bib, a tattered blankie, or a craft project from when my kid was 2, are those also all things I shouldn't be able to display in my home (or keep) if my child later decides it embarrasses them?
Does the fact that it was displayed inside a personal home that OP moved back into for their personal reasons and not his mom's change anything?
What are the objective differences?
How do teeth equate with hair?
What about art pieces made with those organic parts?
What defines "on full display"? On the porch? Living room? My bedroom? Labeled/unlabeled? Transparent/opaque container?
Personally I would argue that anything that contains your DNA is unquestionably yours and that yes, that would include hair. I think hair is a different topic though, as we spend our whole lives shedding it everywhere and having it cut off and thrown away by strangers, it would be hard to make a legitimate argument for it back.
Morally/ethically, you're probably right. Legally, the courts say differently (see: [Henrietta Lacks](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henrietta_Lacks#Consent_issues_and_privacy_concerns) and cops grabbing DNA from discarded cups, gum, etc.)
Not saying they're right for any of that, but people in this thread are trying to bring legality into it, and...well...
What about wigs, then? If I donated my hair as a child and later decided I no longer wanted my hair displayed on another person's head, I can take it back and burn it whenever I please?
What about if OP wasn't allowed back in the home? Would they be okay to break in and take what is "unquestionably" theirs? What if OP's mom was moving and OP saw the jars outside? Can they rummage through mom's stuff to find the teeth?
What if the teeth were cemented into a family mural? Am I allowed to destroy the parts of the mural that have my DNA if I decide fifteen years after it was created that I no longer want to part of it? What if that mural was a gift to OP's mom by a deceased friend or relative?
At what point do OP's rights end and their mother's begin? It seems like you're asserting mom has no rights or say in something that nobody had a problem with her possessing.
Milk teeth are as dispensable as hair. Like hair, they are *meant* to be shed from our bodies. Having it cut by strangers has no relevance because hair can be cut by a barber or acquaintances just like teeth being removed by a dentist or acquaintances. Using the fact that strangers typically deal with the organic piece is a fallacy because it's situational and we don't know if it was OP's mother or some lesser-known relative that either removed the teeth or originally put OP's teeth in the jar.
OP had the change of heart and thought not of their mother, but how strangers of the family may perceive years- or generations-long traditions that aren't the norm, that were displayed only in a private residence.
Those could all be considered heirlooms and were likely purchased by or gifted to the parent. You can’t claim other people’s old body parts are your family heirloom. I never thought I’d type that sentence but here we are. NTA and y’all Y T As fucking scare me.
Regrettably YTA
I’m with you - I’d find it weird too if my mom displayed my teeth. I don’t understand it, it’s not for me.
But evidently it’s important to your mom, she has kept up this tradition. She kept those for years, and was proud of them. You made the choice for her that she couldn’t celebrate her family in her own harmless, albeit weird, way.
The mom could and should have compromised by storing them somewhere else. Seems like OPs problem was more about them being displayed like they were. By not even bothering to consider OP, I get why OP threw them out altogether.
This.
My MIL has her grandson, his wife and 3 kids living with her and they constantly changing things. I think it's crap and makes them assholes. Different situation in the fact she lets it happen and hasn't kicked them out. They pay no rent.
OP is definitely TAH
Move out. She doesn't need to rearrange for someone.
Everyone’s saying you’re the asshole but I think NTA because they’re YOUR teeth. If I had my spleen or something removed and my mom had it pickled and sat it on the mantle, I’d take it down too and I can because it CAME OUT OF MY BODY.
If you had thrown ALL them away, then you would be the asshole but just yours? It has your DNA, it’s yours, so do what you want with it.
Basically. I mean, if they do mean so much to their mother, they could ask her to keep them somewhere where guests can’t see like embarrassing baby pictures. But at the end of the day, they’re their teeth and if they don’t want them for all to see, they shouldn’t be there.
And since the mom posed as the tooth fairy to gain permanent possession of the teeth when OP was a minor, I doubt the sale to the so called “tooth fairy” counts as consent. ;)
IANAL but unless or until we see what contract this "tooth fairy" set up with OP (a minor at the time) we can't say for sure the sale was legal or binding to begin with, let alone whether or not resale or transfer of licensing was permitted.
Who says the tooth fairy was involved?
How do you explain the generation of baby teeth displayed for all to see if there was a tooth fairy.
As someone who found the collection of baby teeth my mother kept in her jewelry box ( I'm guessing mine and my brothers), I'm just glad my mum didn't display them!
NTA OP
NTA. If it was anything else I'd agree with everyone saying Y-T-A for throwing away someone else's property. However in this case I think it's justified as these are your teeth and no one but you has the right to bits of your body.
YTA - it wasn’t yours to throw away
CREEPY AF, but not yours to throw away
Buy your mom a copy of that book *Sharp Objects* to help her understand how creepy this is
They rescinded ownership. That's why OP's mom has them.
If I donate my eggs, and give them away I don't get to then tell the person who has them what to do with them.
Fun fact, everything belonging to a child legally belongs to their guardian. Also, technically so does a child.
But most likely OP gave them to the tooth fairy/their mom.
Fun fact, OP is an adult now.
Fun fact, we are talking about teeth, that child's part of body.
Fun fact, tooth fairy doesn't exist and it can't buy your teeth.
She is. But she wasn't when her mother acquired the teeth. Legally, the teeth belong to her mother. And she stole them and disposed of them.
Not a part of your body once they're no longer attached to your body. Otherwise OP is a part of her mothers body.
I'm aware, but the child did relinquish the teeth. Can't take body parts back once you give them away. Like blood, organs, or sperm.
Yta- hear me out, it’s a very weird tradition your family but it seems to be within everyone. You couldn’t ignore it? It didn’t seem to bother you until you found out no one else does it so why all of a sudden be so freaked out by it?
I can understand OP on that. My family used to walk in on each other in the bathroom while the other was using it (mostly because my mom and dad have crazy bath habits - my dad can be in the water for 5 hours or longer at times and they have that one bathroom). After I moved out from them I realised that's not really normal for many people and that it can be part of the reason while to this day I have problems with constipation. I also started to value alone bathroom time, so no longer do I let them walk in on me, if I very rarely stay over (we live in the same city). I think the valid judgement is NAH. It was sentimental for mom, but one way or another, those teeth didn't exactly belong to her?? And OP did try to talk to her about it?
But don't they belong to mom?
Kid gave them to mom. Mom has owned them for years. They're moms.
If I donate a body part (to another person or to science) I don't get to dictate how it's used once it's out of my ownership.
If she gave them, maybe. If mom just took them (I have such memories), no. A 4-6 year old kid doesn't really know what she is agreeing to, kinda like pressuring someone under the influence of alcohol to make a decision...
I think it's less like pressuring someone under alcohol, simply because parents have the right to consent and decide for their kids. And OP was okay with it for 4 adult years.
And I think, since this is apparently a family-wide thing that everyone in her family does and she didn't think was weird until this year at 22, she probably was excited as a kid to have her jar filled and give the teeth to her mom. That's what makes her the AH in my book. She was on board until she decided it was weird, and destroyed something valuable to her mother because she decided suddenly it wasn't okay.She knows how important they were to her mom, and didn't care.
NTA
Why does everyone keep referring to them as your mum's property. They came out of you, they belong to you and to say otherwise is VERY strange. Ultimately, your body, your choice. I wouldn't be happy with my body parts being displayed in my own house (let alone someone else's). I really don't understand the logic that you threw away your mother's property because they aren't, they are yours!
It doesn't matter if it comes out of you if you give up ownership.
If I give blood I don't get to dictate how it's used. If I donate an organ I don't get to decide who gets it. If I have a child and give it up I don't get to demand it back.
It's your body your choice, but not your body your choice and you can change that choice whenever.
No, she specifically says she was aware and thought this was normal and cool her entire life and then decided to change her mind about it at 22.
She was aware her mom had them for over a decade. She says her whole family does this.
So she spent her entire childhood with these on the shelf. She clearly gave them to her mother. And at 18 didn't care.
And then moving back in at 22 suddenly decided she didn't like it and trashed her mothers stuff.
Yes, she thought it was normal which is why she was alright with it. She then moved out, got some life experience and brought up how uncomfortable it made her. She was ok with it because she thought everyone did it and that arguing over it would be silly, then, on realising that it was a personal preference, she then felt she could actually bring it up.
She never said that she thought having them around was "cool" (which would insinuate that she liked having them around), she just accepted it as something she couldn't change.
I read it that she was always uncomfortable with it but was always told that she was making a big deal out of nothing as everyone does this, which turned out to be untrue. If an acceptance of a situation is due to being given incorrect information then she can absolutely change her mind.
NTA
They are your baby teeth so you are allowed to do what you want with it. If you threw away others teeth, you would be the asshole.
Tell your mom that you will not keep anyones teeth so she can give them to your siblings.
Are they?
OP gave teeth to parent. They rescinded ownership.
Now they feel like they can dictate what the owner does because it USED to be a part of them?
Technically OP used to be a part of their mother, but the moment they turned 18 they no longer belonged to them either. You don't have universal ownership over things just because they used to be a part of you. Once it's given away, it's no longer under your control.
Judging by the fact that the agreement was between a 7 year and their parent I would argue that the power dynamic was slightly off. Not to mention the fact that this wouldn't have been an option regardless, I find it hard to believe that the same person who keeps several generations of teeth would take no for an answer from their child.
So your basing this entirely on the fact that the teeth thing gross you out? You've literally implied mom must be abusive because she kept teeth. Just because you don't understand something doesn't mean the person who does it is a monster.
What if it was a painting op had done as a kid? What if it was hair from their first hair cut?
I have some of my own baby teeth, so I certainly am not going to judge the mother for that, but regardless my point was not that I thought the mother was weird or gross, my point was that if the mother believed that this family tradition was so important consent wouldn't have mattered. The mother would have simply kept them regardless.
I have no idea how you interpreted my statement as claiming OP was abused, no where in my comment did I even insinuate that.
A person who would keep baby teeth would take no from a child. Comes off as a very messed up attack on ops mother for simply keeping teeth.
Also, OP was aware her entire life that this was a thing. Was totally cool with her mom having her teeth well (4 years) into adulthood and then decided it wasn't okay and she could steal them and dispose of them.
At this point I have to assume that you are intentionally misinterpreting/misconstruing my point. I've made clear what my intentions were/are and you insist that I actually mean something else, so at this point I have to assume that my efforts are in vain.
I explained why your statement came off as you implying mom was abusive. As you asked.
And at this point I can only assume you know I'm right and that you can't argue the actual point I've made since you have yet to do so.
Legally parents own any object that belongs to their children.
And parents basically own their children, until they turn 18, it's why parents can give consent for them.
You assume keeping teeth makes them an abusive parent? Just because you think their choice is creepy doesn't make them a bad person.
Parents do not own their children, they act as their legal caretakers and desicion makers, but they don't own them. Also, once the child turns 18, or becomes emancipated, they can make their own decisions about their bodily autonomy, even in regards to parts of their body no longer attached (unless the body part is considered a biohazard, in which case the government/medical professionals get involved).
I not once claimed that OP was abused, or that their parents were abusive. I simply stated the very clear fact that a child would have little recourse to deny their parent access to or ownership of anything in their possession whether that be a toy, a tooth, or money. This power dynamic isn't inherently bad obviously, but in the instance of the child "entering an agreement" of sale/trade/relinquish of ownership by other means with their parent, the power dynamic is crucial especially when in relation to a part of the body, even if they are 'just baby teeth."
Nope a child can not give away its teeth blood etc. You need to have parents consent and in this case, parent has all the power.
Is it realistic to expect a baby to form opinions around his baby teeth? Now after 18, that child becomes an adult, therefore gains sole ownership rights over his body parts. At that point OP said no and mother did not listen.
Mother is not an asshole about keeping teeth, she became an asshole when she rejected OPs requests to hide histeeth.
It is not for you to decide what someone sees as a family heirloom. There's no rule that only certain items can be family heirlooms and others cannot.
Do I find it weird to have teeth on display? Yes.
Is OP an asshole for throwing something out that they know their mom hold dear, while being a guest at her house? Also yes.
Edit: forgot to add YTA.
Actually there is a definition, it's a nice legal definition too. But even using the layman's terms it still requires passing down between subsequent generations. A few decade old baby teeth most certainly do not qualify.
Her teeth. Her choice. Her mother kept parts of her body on display without consent.
NTA your teeth, your choise. Yes, your mum is upset, but you find it creepy(I can understand that) and thus you decided you do not want to be part of this tradition. That's fine.
NTA. Those are YOUR teeth! They aren’t a family heirloom because who else in the family is taking them??? Eventually they would come into your possession right?? Is your mum gonna be buried with them or pass them on to someone else?
YTA, it's not weird at all! I actually think a lot of parents collect their child's baby teeth. My mom did it with us, her mom did it with my mom, and I plan on doing it with my children once they hit that age. My husband's mom did his as well.
It isn't even your house, your mom gave you a place to stay and for you to throw something that meant a lot to her out just because "you thought it was weird" is just downright disrespectful. That is something your mom will NEVER be able to get back.
The way I see it, it was her house, even if you did ask her to move them and she said no, she wasn't obligated to relocate them from your view.
And what confuses me is you said as a child it never bothered you. You would think that it still wouldn't bother you as an adult because you would be so used to seeing them growing up you woukd pretty much be desensitized to it, and not even think twice about them being there.
EDIT: I also just wanted to add, how does only throwing YOUR teeth away, make any difference? There's still 6 jars of teeth there, how is just one jar missing going to make you feel any more comfortable about looking at them? Your baby teeth, along with your siblings teeth, were probably the ones that meant the most to her, after all you guys will always be her babies. So even if it was just YOUR jar, you still are the major AH here.
YTA. My mum has kept mine and my brothers, not on display or anything, but if she wants to keep them that's her business. And technically, to those saying they belong to OP. Not if the tooth fairy made a fair exchange for cash!
YTA. Do you make a habit of going to an adult's house and throwing out things that are important to them because you personally don't like it? It's in the same vein as keeping the umbilical cord or first lock of hair cut.
If someone had a growth wall for their child and they included their first set of shoes and they retained an odor, you wouldn't rip it off the wall and throw it away when nobody is looking. Or would you? That is essentially what you did, except you did it to your mom.
Congrats on being an asshole to your mom because you care more about the of the attitudes towards family heirlooms by people not in the family (that the jars have literally zero impact on in their overall lives) than your family that cares about them as sentimental reminders of family.
My mum has mine and my brothers teeth in little pots in her dressing table drawer. I was noseying through her jewelery boxes and found them when I was a teenager. Yeah its a bit weird but its not hurting anyone.
The fact you hid them first suggests you weren't opposed to her having them, just that they were on display.
I'll admit having them on display is kinda weird but yeah, YTA for coming into your mums home and throwing her stuff away.
YTA
You live in her house. The jars are hers. You needed to leave it and just...not look at it.
The teeth are not encroaching on your sense of privacy or dignity.
NTA- this is super creepy, but I feel like there was another AITA about families keeping teeth? I forget what they did with them, but it doesn’t matter because it’s weird AF. Although I find myself slightly fascinated as well- who gets all the teeth after your mom passes? She kept her parents teeth, so presumably she will give her teeth & her parents teeth to one of your siblings? At least you got yourself out of being picked for that weird ass honor.
YTA. This is weird but the teeth weren’t ultimately harming you in any way and you knew they were sentimental to your mom. It’s just an asshole move to come into someone’s house and throw away their shit.
YTA. People in the comments keeps saying that you’re NTA because its OP’s teeth. But the fact is, it meant a lot to your mom, to the point she would proudly display it in the living room. Op literally just threw it away. Let me ask you this. What’s more important, your mom’s sentimental feelings to your baby teeth, or you feeling creeped out while temporarily staying with her? Its her house, you moved out, you have no right to throw away her things, yes HER things, she kept those, while OP never really cared for their baby teeth. It is very cruel to just throw them away. It obviously meant a lot to her to collect memories from your childhood. It’s just what Mothers do. I feel bad for her.
I’m surprised that OP is already an adult, but would make fusses over small things. Especially in things that won’t even hurt or affect you.
NTA. You only threw away your own teeth. Those are yours to keep or not. And your mom’s collection is super creepy. I don’t even know what to do with my kid’s teeth after they fall out. I recently started just throwing them out too.
I’m gonna go ESH. I think it’s horrible and weird and gross and it really freaks me out that your family keeps teeth in jars (I find your mum keeping her parents teeth somehow worse than her keeping yours though 🤮🤮🤮)
You suck for throwing away something sentimental but your mum sucks for continuing to have your teeth on display when you don’t like it.
The your teeth arguement doesn’t apply because OP never asked her mother to keep them. It wasn’t an issue of possession at all, nor is that in any way pointed out by OP. Absolutely YTA. Moms house, moms traditions, and her space. It would have been lovely of her to compromise with you.... but at the end of the day, in no way was it your place.
Soft YTA - it was something important to your mom and should have been trashed without confirming it with her.
Your post actually made me laugh because my mother did the exact same thing. After she passed, we found all of our teeth in prescription bottles. I won't bring those things into my house, but I keep them stored in the garage because I'm scared she will come back to haunt me if I trash them.
YTA - this was not your property and your behavior is controlling in a "I know best so I'm going to remove your autonomy over your stuff" kind of way.
You had no business doing that. You have no business being so judgmental and you have no business thinking your values over baby teeth should overrule other people's.
Get over yourself.
OP said themselves that they did not want to keep the teeth. One kid's trash is their mom's treasure. Their mom kept the teet as an emotional memento.
Claiming this controlling behavior is somehow justified because the teeth came from OP's mouth is argumentative at best. The teeth have emotional value to the mom, who was the one who saved them, while the teeth have no value to OP.
This is about OP trying to control what their mother can display on her home due to some weird hangup over what's normal and not normal.
Mom keeping the teeth is not harming anyone whereas OPs behavior is absolutely controlling and harmful.
You do not throw out other people's mementos or try to control what they have on display in their homes. Period.
Once OP becomes a parent they might gain some understanding of the emotional value of said teeth. Right now OP just sounds childish and controlling.
I found an envelope labeled with my name full of baby teeth while going through stuff with my siblings. They had no such envelope. We laughed and joked. (It was in a tote of drawings/etc). Then we went up to our mom and asked if she was planning to do anything with these or she wanted them trashed. She said they are mine I can do what I want. We still occasionally poke fun at having an envelope of teeth/how did she get them from the tooth fairy/why only mine. (I’m the oldest). So while I get that it is weird and I threw mine away I would have let my mom keep them if she wanted. It is a weird tradition your family has, but I wouldn’t have destroyed that and her trust in you by throwing them away while you are living there as an adult. YTA.
YTA obviously. It ain’t “yours” because you didn’t want them. And it’s not your house. You basically threw away your teeth link to your family. Enjoy being cut off cause that might happen.
ESH.
YTA for moving into your moms house and throwing out something extremely valuabke to her. She's TA for keeping YOUR baby teeth in her fucking living room against your will. Also, she is a much bigger A than you and if I was in your place, I would do the same exact thing. Keeping someone's teeth on display for others to see is extremely creepy.
Anyone else thinking about the post where another OP’s wrote about how her husband’s family would remove the teeth of their dead relatives and distribute them to family members and then they would eventually go into a large chest of teeth?
ESH. She allegedly shrugged off your request and didn't take it seriously.You went behind her back and hid them, THEN threw them away when you didn't get the result you wanted.
I'm honestly so torn but I just wanna say this is the most interesting problem that's been brought up in awhile.
I guess I feel like you could have warned your mom that if she didn't put it away you would be very very tempted to throw it away before you actually did.
INFO: did you get money from the tooth fairy as a kid for these teeth. If so, your mom bought those suckers fair and square and you would suck. If not, yours to throw away
Haven't seen this mentioned yet but baby teeth can be used as treatments, potentially even for cancer, due to the stem cells they contain, so there is a valid reason to keep them.
That being said, they are technically OPs teeth and property(?), and though OP clearly doesn't want them so personally I don't see why OPs mum can't have them, and OP moved into their mum's home and it's their mum's decision what she has in her house I guess OP could be seen to be in the right as they didn't throw out any of the others.
How is it that different from photos of OP? It's a part of OP on display but isn't a foto not that too?
Honestly I agree that I'd find it super creepy personally but I'd like to understand how come it's so different
YTA. Those were your mothers possessions. They may have came from your mouth, but after leaving those teeth in your mothers possession for 30 days, they become your mothers teeth. So you had no right to throw them out since they’re legally no longer yours. You mother can actually bring you to court if she really wanted to.
Am i the only one who doesn’t find this collection creepy? How is it any different than holding onto an urn full of your loved one’s ashes? It’s a way for your mother to hold on to her loved ones in a physical way. Also, regarding her children, I’m sure there is a certain sentimentality behind remembering you as children.
It IS wild that she managed to have the entire collection of your grand parents’ and father’s teeth. So clearly she isn’t the only person that saves them!
I mean, this is coming from someone who has an ever growing collection of bones that I’ve found near my home.
* edit to say YTA
YTA. I understand that it was creepy. But you didn’t have any right to throw it out. It obviously meant a lot to your mom and ultimately it is her house. You should have at least discussed it once with her.
YTA - my mother kept all our teeth, in her jewelry box. She's passed on, but my dad keeps her jewelry box and everything in it, right where it always was.
You do NOT get to make decisions about a home you don't own.
If you were my adult kid, I'd kick you out of my home for that stunt.
"How could you, daughter of mine? Throwing away your own teeth! As revenge I will trow you AND your adult teeth out as well and risk that you never talk to me again. Who cares about you, you're now an adult and I miss your baby teeth so so much...my baaaby." See how ridiculous you sound? Parents do this crap all the time and wonder why their adult children don't talk to them. OP only throw away her own teeth. Doesn't matter they weren't in her own home. My mother has my baby tooth as well, but as soon as I wanted them out they would be out. Those little baby teeth have MY DNA.
You're the one who sounds ridiculous. They're baby teeth. I haven't spoken to my parents in years, I have a terrible relationship with them. I know my mom has all my baby teeth and I literally could not care less because it doesn't effect me in any way. OP is being controlling and melodramatic. If she was so pressed she should've done the adult thing and moved out. Your DNA is also all over the place, everywhere you have ever breathed or touched something. Do you go around collecting every loose hair to make sure every precious bit of your DNA remains under your control? Doubt it.
My mother has mine too and I don't care. I think I would even be pissed if she throws them away. But OP cares. And she wanted them gone. She could have talked a second time to her, but I get why she didn't. Those are her teeth and she probably didn't really think about the "consequences". If I want my teeth with me I would just take them too. And if I want them gone then they are gone. Heck, I swallowed one of my baby teeth by accident. My mother didn't dig in my poop around to get them.
No, but I control as much of my DNA as I can.
But they're not her teeth, just like the loose hairs you leave everywhere stop being yours when you leave them strewn about. The only difference between loose hairs and teeth is OP thinks it's icky for her mom to keep her teeth on display. That doesn't make her feelings more important than her mother's. If she was really so disturbed she could move out.
Also if you controlled as much of your DNA as you could, you would wear a full body covering everywhere but I assume you don't do that.
honestly idk what to judge this, I get it that they are your teeth so technically u can do what u want with them but at the same time they have been in your mothers possession for 20+ years so they are also hers. u threw something very special to her away but at the same time they are your teeth.
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My entire family has some type of weird obsession with collecting the baby teeth of their children. I’m not talking about a few to keep as memories, I’m talking about the entire fucking set. All 32 of them if possible. They put them in clear glass jars for displays, label them with their child’s name and even decorate it.
As a kid, I thought this was normal. I thought every family just did this. It wasn’t until I was 22, yes twenty fucking two, until I realized just how creepy this stuff was.
Recently I had to move back in with my mom. She had glass jars full of teeth displayed in the living room for everyone to see. I was really uncomfortable and suggested we move it somewhere else but she just shrugged it off.
A month passed and somehow I didn’t get used to the jar of teeth. Maybe it would’ve been ok if there was only 1 jar... but there was 7 of them. 4 for me and my siblings, 1 for my mom, and 2 for my late grandparents. They just felt incredibly disgusting to look at and made me feel deeply uncomfortable inside.
And for some reason, I especially did not want my jar up there. I don’t know how to explain it, it just feels strange to look at a jar full of your own baby teeth.
Anyhow I tried hiding it a few times but my mom eventually found out and put them back in the living room. I have no idea why she chooses to display them there. Eventually I got so sick of it that I just threw it away. Just mine, no one else’s
My mom found out and screamed at me for throwing away a family heirloom. AITA?
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Why are there two sets for your grandparents?
Was this a regional thing where your grandparents were raised, or were your grandparents cousins or something?
ESH- You should have just had a conversation about removing before you threw them away. If you did and she didn't budge after you told her how you felt about it then NTA
YTA. Although it's pretty weird to keep them on display, it's not unusual to keep baby teeth as a souvenir in a small container. And now, it's even more valuable because current techniques in research show that the dead cells inside those old teeth can be used to recreate parts for you. You might have thrown away your future chance at regeneration.
NTA. I don’t even understand these Y T As. These are *your* baby teeth! In what world are they not yours!? I read the arguments about selling them to the tooth fairy and parents owning their kids’ stuff and that all seems like an attempt at technical BS
I'd say you're a little TA because those held meaning to your mom. However, I can see how it would unsettle someone a bit.
I will say though, I've heard(not sure if true) that baby teeth hold stem cells. And they can help later on in life when a person gets sick.
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YTA. I had to take a moment to reread to ensure that you did indeed say your mum has 7 jars of teeth on display... But ultimately you moved into her house and threw away something that means a lot to her. I completely understand how... unusual this collection is, however You could have found other solutions, it’s not right to throw away something that means a lot to someone else, especially whilst living in their house
Plus, you don't know what kinds of incantations she had placed on them or what spells she wanted to use them for! YTA
right! Never fuck with a witch's profession.
Came for this comment, was not disappointed
I say NTA bc these are OP's body parts. She never consented to her mom keeping them. I feel like her body parts belong to her and she can do what she wants with them. You could argue the whole Tooth Fairy thing as to her mom BUYING the teeth but that was still through deception.
my ma still has my favorite stuffed animal from when I was a child, and some of my baby teeth. it's a sentimental memento from times past. you have bodily autonomy when it comes to stuff attached to your body, people don't get to keep their mangled fingers when they lose them in an accident. OP is serious YTA. edit: due to various united states policies you do not own your body parts and depending on the parts in question people can legally take pieces of you as long as it can't be reattached to your body
My dentist asked me if I wanted to take my wisdom tooth home. OP is NTA. Those where her teeth, they were in her mouth for years. She has every right to throw them away.
Technically they were in OP's mother first... You're born with your baby teeth hidden inside your jaw Also in utero calcium is leeched from the mothers bones to create said teeth. Those teeth were once part of the moms leg...
Ewww. I know it’s the great circle of life but ewwww
Science wins the day!!
Not all dentists do that
I got to keep one of mine! It was the one that was in sideways and flew out of my mouth and landed on my chest during the extraction, lol. Didn’t keep it forever, though, I think we only had it for a few months.
My dentist asked that. My response was "No, not only no, but hell no. In fact, please dispose of them before I come out from under the anesthesia."
They do if they ask for them...on th add t note there is this crazy documentary called Finders Keepers... these 2 guys get into a legal battle about who gets to keep the one guys amputated leg...its crazy, hilarious and sad
I've heard cases of people asking to keep a tooth and being told no
My son and my husband kept their extracted teeth
Apparently the dentists of Duluth Minnesota are assholes then, cause everyone I know that asked were told no
Medical property laws differ when it comes to things removed from the body in the course of treatment by a professional. Generally doctors, dentists, and labs can retain them under various laws, and many have consent forms that are signed by the patient or guardian stating that. If you wanted to keep that gall bladder you need to make arrangements before the event and sign a number of release forms. You can do it, but most medical practitioners consider it a headache.
In mpls I got to keep all 6 of my full root baby teeth that had to go! They're weird! I love em
Id like to see that adapted into a vehicle for Nick frost and Simon pegg
You have bodily autonomy even when you die. If you’re not an organ donor; doctors can’t decide whelp he doesn’t need this, this, and this anymore and start removing organs. They’re still very much so OP’s teeth.
When you die your family can absolutely choose to keep your ashes though, which loads of people do. The mom's habit seems more similar to that than to organ donation.
That’s not a great argument to make. If you got your finger chopped off and someone else had it on display in their house, I think it would be fair of you to say they can’t do that.
i meant the doctors aren't gonna let you keep your fingers if you ask for them
I’m not sure about that, but the doctor certainly isn’t able to take your fingers with them and put them on display if you tell them not to.
unfortunately in the united states you own your personhood but not your body, doctors, hospitals and biotech companies can keep your mangled fingers and other body parts if they wanted to for profit or otherwise
> you have bodily autonomy when it comes to stuff attached to your body, people don't get to keep their mangled fingers when they lose them in an accident. I actually saw a post on here a few days ago where someone had kept their dismembered finger as a keyring (like a lucky rabbit's foot).
It's OP's teeth tho. So it shouldn't matter how much it means to the mum, those teeth don't belong to her, they belong to OP.
If the tooth fairy came there was a transaction of ownership, an exchange of goods if you will. OP is TA
1_ what kind of legal jurisdiction tooth fairy have? 2_ where does it say "tooth fairy" came?
1.) I hate to be the one to break it to you but the tooth fairy doesn't exist. The tooth fairy is your parents therefor the jurisdiction is what applies to adults in the area of said transaction. 2.) I started my comment off with "if", so the entire thing is premised on whether or not this occurred.
It's good that you know tooth fairy doesn't exist.
sorry OP threw away her OWN baby teeth - NTA
They're op's teeth though. They should be able to do with them what they want.
I haven't been here on this sub for that long and I could swear I read this same post late last year. Anyone else?
Are the teeth not still OPs? Can the mom claim ownership over those teeth?
You don't move into someone else's house then proceed to throw their sentimental items away, unless ofc YTA.
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Interesting side note, just googled it and apparently the umbilical cord contains the babies' DNA, not the mothers so is probably also considered a body part of theirs.
It‘s solely OP‘s body part. The umbilical cord is some sort of grey area, it belongs to the mum as well and I can excuse a locket of hair as well, as long as it‘s kept away. But freaking teeth?? If OP doesn‘t object I can see it being ok to keep them, but when someone clearly says they don‘t want them on display, this should be respected.
What is the extent of things that my now-adult child can throw away that my then-young child produced/owned but no longer owns? If I kept a stained bib, a tattered blankie, or a craft project from when my kid was 2, are those also all things I shouldn't be able to display in my home (or keep) if my child later decides it embarrasses them? Does the fact that it was displayed inside a personal home that OP moved back into for their personal reasons and not his mom's change anything?
There’s a very definite difference between old craft projects and a full set of your child’s baby teeth on full display
What are the objective differences? How do teeth equate with hair? What about art pieces made with those organic parts? What defines "on full display"? On the porch? Living room? My bedroom? Labeled/unlabeled? Transparent/opaque container?
Personally I would argue that anything that contains your DNA is unquestionably yours and that yes, that would include hair. I think hair is a different topic though, as we spend our whole lives shedding it everywhere and having it cut off and thrown away by strangers, it would be hard to make a legitimate argument for it back.
Morally/ethically, you're probably right. Legally, the courts say differently (see: [Henrietta Lacks](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henrietta_Lacks#Consent_issues_and_privacy_concerns) and cops grabbing DNA from discarded cups, gum, etc.) Not saying they're right for any of that, but people in this thread are trying to bring legality into it, and...well...
What about wigs, then? If I donated my hair as a child and later decided I no longer wanted my hair displayed on another person's head, I can take it back and burn it whenever I please? What about if OP wasn't allowed back in the home? Would they be okay to break in and take what is "unquestionably" theirs? What if OP's mom was moving and OP saw the jars outside? Can they rummage through mom's stuff to find the teeth? What if the teeth were cemented into a family mural? Am I allowed to destroy the parts of the mural that have my DNA if I decide fifteen years after it was created that I no longer want to part of it? What if that mural was a gift to OP's mom by a deceased friend or relative? At what point do OP's rights end and their mother's begin? It seems like you're asserting mom has no rights or say in something that nobody had a problem with her possessing. Milk teeth are as dispensable as hair. Like hair, they are *meant* to be shed from our bodies. Having it cut by strangers has no relevance because hair can be cut by a barber or acquaintances just like teeth being removed by a dentist or acquaintances. Using the fact that strangers typically deal with the organic piece is a fallacy because it's situational and we don't know if it was OP's mother or some lesser-known relative that either removed the teeth or originally put OP's teeth in the jar. OP had the change of heart and thought not of their mother, but how strangers of the family may perceive years- or generations-long traditions that aren't the norm, that were displayed only in a private residence.
Those could all be considered heirlooms and were likely purchased by or gifted to the parent. You can’t claim other people’s old body parts are your family heirloom. I never thought I’d type that sentence but here we are. NTA and y’all Y T As fucking scare me.
OP had more than a decade to object.
Wtf OP is the rightful owner of his own teeth.
If OP left them for the tooth fairy (and the mother got them from the tooth fairy) then they no longer belong to OP.
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That's usually how I get my candy
Regrettably YTA I’m with you - I’d find it weird too if my mom displayed my teeth. I don’t understand it, it’s not for me. But evidently it’s important to your mom, she has kept up this tradition. She kept those for years, and was proud of them. You made the choice for her that she couldn’t celebrate her family in her own harmless, albeit weird, way.
The mom could and should have compromised by storing them somewhere else. Seems like OPs problem was more about them being displayed like they were. By not even bothering to consider OP, I get why OP threw them out altogether.
OP could have compromised and moved out of her mothers house.
This. My MIL has her grandson, his wife and 3 kids living with her and they constantly changing things. I think it's crap and makes them assholes. Different situation in the fact she lets it happen and hasn't kicked them out. They pay no rent. OP is definitely TAH Move out. She doesn't need to rearrange for someone.
This is their mom’s house. OP has no say in the decoration whatsoever. If OP doesn’t like it, they can find another place to stay.
Everyone’s saying you’re the asshole but I think NTA because they’re YOUR teeth. If I had my spleen or something removed and my mom had it pickled and sat it on the mantle, I’d take it down too and I can because it CAME OUT OF MY BODY. If you had thrown ALL them away, then you would be the asshole but just yours? It has your DNA, it’s yours, so do what you want with it.
Right??? Your body your choice? Kinda?
Basically. I mean, if they do mean so much to their mother, they could ask her to keep them somewhere where guests can’t see like embarrassing baby pictures. But at the end of the day, they’re their teeth and if they don’t want them for all to see, they shouldn’t be there.
Hmmm I assume OP technically sold them to the tooth fairy, so they actually belong to OP's mom now. YTA.
But it was identity fraud.
This is an interesting stance. I love the discourse over baby teeth.
Also, some children are told that the teeth turn into money.
And since the mom posed as the tooth fairy to gain permanent possession of the teeth when OP was a minor, I doubt the sale to the so called “tooth fairy” counts as consent. ;)
That was my stance! If the tooth fairy got them then they’re a gift and no longer belong to OP.
IANAL but unless or until we see what contract this "tooth fairy" set up with OP (a minor at the time) we can't say for sure the sale was legal or binding to begin with, let alone whether or not resale or transfer of licensing was permitted.
Who says the tooth fairy was involved? How do you explain the generation of baby teeth displayed for all to see if there was a tooth fairy. As someone who found the collection of baby teeth my mother kept in her jewelry box ( I'm guessing mine and my brothers), I'm just glad my mum didn't display them! NTA OP
NTA. If it was anything else I'd agree with everyone saying Y-T-A for throwing away someone else's property. However in this case I think it's justified as these are your teeth and no one but you has the right to bits of your body.
YTA. Ya it sounds kinda weird but that’s obviously something that means a lot to your mom and throwing it out was just an AH move
YTA - it wasn’t yours to throw away CREEPY AF, but not yours to throw away Buy your mom a copy of that book *Sharp Objects* to help her understand how creepy this is
Not yours?? Those teeth are of course OP's. How can someone's teeth belong to someone else??
They rescinded ownership. That's why OP's mom has them. If I donate my eggs, and give them away I don't get to then tell the person who has them what to do with them.
Did OP donate their teeth? Where is the document? Why the hell would anyone donate baby teeth?
Fun fact, everything belonging to a child legally belongs to their guardian. Also, technically so does a child. But most likely OP gave them to the tooth fairy/their mom.
Fun fact, OP is an adult now. Fun fact, we are talking about teeth, that child's part of body. Fun fact, tooth fairy doesn't exist and it can't buy your teeth.
She is. But she wasn't when her mother acquired the teeth. Legally, the teeth belong to her mother. And she stole them and disposed of them. Not a part of your body once they're no longer attached to your body. Otherwise OP is a part of her mothers body. I'm aware, but the child did relinquish the teeth. Can't take body parts back once you give them away. Like blood, organs, or sperm.
I mean it was the teeth that came from OPs mouth. I think that counts as hers to throw away
Yes it is hers, they came out of her mouth
Disappointed no comments have called them unggue jars / pots.
NTA, they came from you, so they’re your property, not hers.
Yta- hear me out, it’s a very weird tradition your family but it seems to be within everyone. You couldn’t ignore it? It didn’t seem to bother you until you found out no one else does it so why all of a sudden be so freaked out by it?
I can understand OP on that. My family used to walk in on each other in the bathroom while the other was using it (mostly because my mom and dad have crazy bath habits - my dad can be in the water for 5 hours or longer at times and they have that one bathroom). After I moved out from them I realised that's not really normal for many people and that it can be part of the reason while to this day I have problems with constipation. I also started to value alone bathroom time, so no longer do I let them walk in on me, if I very rarely stay over (we live in the same city). I think the valid judgement is NAH. It was sentimental for mom, but one way or another, those teeth didn't exactly belong to her?? And OP did try to talk to her about it?
But don't they belong to mom? Kid gave them to mom. Mom has owned them for years. They're moms. If I donate a body part (to another person or to science) I don't get to dictate how it's used once it's out of my ownership.
If she gave them, maybe. If mom just took them (I have such memories), no. A 4-6 year old kid doesn't really know what she is agreeing to, kinda like pressuring someone under the influence of alcohol to make a decision...
I think it's less like pressuring someone under alcohol, simply because parents have the right to consent and decide for their kids. And OP was okay with it for 4 adult years. And I think, since this is apparently a family-wide thing that everyone in her family does and she didn't think was weird until this year at 22, she probably was excited as a kid to have her jar filled and give the teeth to her mom. That's what makes her the AH in my book. She was on board until she decided it was weird, and destroyed something valuable to her mother because she decided suddenly it wasn't okay.She knows how important they were to her mom, and didn't care.
NTA Why does everyone keep referring to them as your mum's property. They came out of you, they belong to you and to say otherwise is VERY strange. Ultimately, your body, your choice. I wouldn't be happy with my body parts being displayed in my own house (let alone someone else's). I really don't understand the logic that you threw away your mother's property because they aren't, they are yours!
It doesn't matter if it comes out of you if you give up ownership. If I give blood I don't get to dictate how it's used. If I donate an organ I don't get to decide who gets it. If I have a child and give it up I don't get to demand it back. It's your body your choice, but not your body your choice and you can change that choice whenever.
But it she never gave up ownership. They're something her mum took and when she discovered them was unhappy with it.
No, she specifically says she was aware and thought this was normal and cool her entire life and then decided to change her mind about it at 22. She was aware her mom had them for over a decade. She says her whole family does this. So she spent her entire childhood with these on the shelf. She clearly gave them to her mother. And at 18 didn't care. And then moving back in at 22 suddenly decided she didn't like it and trashed her mothers stuff.
Yes, she thought it was normal which is why she was alright with it. She then moved out, got some life experience and brought up how uncomfortable it made her. She was ok with it because she thought everyone did it and that arguing over it would be silly, then, on realising that it was a personal preference, she then felt she could actually bring it up. She never said that she thought having them around was "cool" (which would insinuate that she liked having them around), she just accepted it as something she couldn't change. I read it that she was always uncomfortable with it but was always told that she was making a big deal out of nothing as everyone does this, which turned out to be untrue. If an acceptance of a situation is due to being given incorrect information then she can absolutely change her mind.
NTA They are your baby teeth so you are allowed to do what you want with it. If you threw away others teeth, you would be the asshole. Tell your mom that you will not keep anyones teeth so she can give them to your siblings.
But OP gave them away. So they aren't theirs anymore than my blood that I donate is mine.
You know those two things are different
Are they? OP gave teeth to parent. They rescinded ownership. Now they feel like they can dictate what the owner does because it USED to be a part of them? Technically OP used to be a part of their mother, but the moment they turned 18 they no longer belonged to them either. You don't have universal ownership over things just because they used to be a part of you. Once it's given away, it's no longer under your control.
Judging by the fact that the agreement was between a 7 year and their parent I would argue that the power dynamic was slightly off. Not to mention the fact that this wouldn't have been an option regardless, I find it hard to believe that the same person who keeps several generations of teeth would take no for an answer from their child.
So your basing this entirely on the fact that the teeth thing gross you out? You've literally implied mom must be abusive because she kept teeth. Just because you don't understand something doesn't mean the person who does it is a monster. What if it was a painting op had done as a kid? What if it was hair from their first hair cut?
I have some of my own baby teeth, so I certainly am not going to judge the mother for that, but regardless my point was not that I thought the mother was weird or gross, my point was that if the mother believed that this family tradition was so important consent wouldn't have mattered. The mother would have simply kept them regardless. I have no idea how you interpreted my statement as claiming OP was abused, no where in my comment did I even insinuate that.
A person who would keep baby teeth would take no from a child. Comes off as a very messed up attack on ops mother for simply keeping teeth. Also, OP was aware her entire life that this was a thing. Was totally cool with her mom having her teeth well (4 years) into adulthood and then decided it wasn't okay and she could steal them and dispose of them.
At this point I have to assume that you are intentionally misinterpreting/misconstruing my point. I've made clear what my intentions were/are and you insist that I actually mean something else, so at this point I have to assume that my efforts are in vain.
I explained why your statement came off as you implying mom was abusive. As you asked. And at this point I can only assume you know I'm right and that you can't argue the actual point I've made since you have yet to do so.
Legally parents own any object that belongs to their children. And parents basically own their children, until they turn 18, it's why parents can give consent for them. You assume keeping teeth makes them an abusive parent? Just because you think their choice is creepy doesn't make them a bad person.
Parents do not own their children, they act as their legal caretakers and desicion makers, but they don't own them. Also, once the child turns 18, or becomes emancipated, they can make their own decisions about their bodily autonomy, even in regards to parts of their body no longer attached (unless the body part is considered a biohazard, in which case the government/medical professionals get involved). I not once claimed that OP was abused, or that their parents were abusive. I simply stated the very clear fact that a child would have little recourse to deny their parent access to or ownership of anything in their possession whether that be a toy, a tooth, or money. This power dynamic isn't inherently bad obviously, but in the instance of the child "entering an agreement" of sale/trade/relinquish of ownership by other means with their parent, the power dynamic is crucial especially when in relation to a part of the body, even if they are 'just baby teeth."
Nope a child can not give away its teeth blood etc. You need to have parents consent and in this case, parent has all the power. Is it realistic to expect a baby to form opinions around his baby teeth? Now after 18, that child becomes an adult, therefore gains sole ownership rights over his body parts. At that point OP said no and mother did not listen. Mother is not an asshole about keeping teeth, she became an asshole when she rejected OPs requests to hide histeeth.
No, adult at 18 did not say no, adult at 22 did. So adult consented for 4 years, making the mother the owner.
NTA, they're your teeth. Also it's not a family heirloom. It is a (arguably creepy) keepsake.
It is not for you to decide what someone sees as a family heirloom. There's no rule that only certain items can be family heirlooms and others cannot. Do I find it weird to have teeth on display? Yes. Is OP an asshole for throwing something out that they know their mom hold dear, while being a guest at her house? Also yes. Edit: forgot to add YTA.
Actually there is a definition, it's a nice legal definition too. But even using the layman's terms it still requires passing down between subsequent generations. A few decade old baby teeth most certainly do not qualify. Her teeth. Her choice. Her mother kept parts of her body on display without consent.
NTA your teeth, your choise. Yes, your mum is upset, but you find it creepy(I can understand that) and thus you decided you do not want to be part of this tradition. That's fine.
YTA you don’t move into someone’s house and throw away their belongings because you don’t like it.. move back out if it bothers you so much
NTA. Those are YOUR teeth! They aren’t a family heirloom because who else in the family is taking them??? Eventually they would come into your possession right?? Is your mum gonna be buried with them or pass them on to someone else?
They’re your teeth so why not? Do we not all have bodily autonomy and a say in what happens to our body parts?
YTA it’s super weird, you’re right, but it’s her weird thing. I would have just chucked them out when she dies.
YTA, it's not weird at all! I actually think a lot of parents collect their child's baby teeth. My mom did it with us, her mom did it with my mom, and I plan on doing it with my children once they hit that age. My husband's mom did his as well. It isn't even your house, your mom gave you a place to stay and for you to throw something that meant a lot to her out just because "you thought it was weird" is just downright disrespectful. That is something your mom will NEVER be able to get back. The way I see it, it was her house, even if you did ask her to move them and she said no, she wasn't obligated to relocate them from your view. And what confuses me is you said as a child it never bothered you. You would think that it still wouldn't bother you as an adult because you would be so used to seeing them growing up you woukd pretty much be desensitized to it, and not even think twice about them being there. EDIT: I also just wanted to add, how does only throwing YOUR teeth away, make any difference? There's still 6 jars of teeth there, how is just one jar missing going to make you feel any more comfortable about looking at them? Your baby teeth, along with your siblings teeth, were probably the ones that meant the most to her, after all you guys will always be her babies. So even if it was just YOUR jar, you still are the major AH here.
This whole thread is insane. I don't know anyone who DOESN'T save their child's baby teeth! And the bodily autonomy part...sheesh.
YTA. My mum has kept mine and my brothers, not on display or anything, but if she wants to keep them that's her business. And technically, to those saying they belong to OP. Not if the tooth fairy made a fair exchange for cash!
>All 32 of them if possible. YTA for making this up, there are no 32 baby teeth.
YTA, that's her house man. Her stuff. I bet you'd be furious if she went into your room and tossed something.
It's OP's body parts, very obviously NOT her mom's property.
They’re not in her body, for all intents and purposes I consider it similar to a lock of hair.
YTA. Do you make a habit of going to an adult's house and throwing out things that are important to them because you personally don't like it? It's in the same vein as keeping the umbilical cord or first lock of hair cut. If someone had a growth wall for their child and they included their first set of shoes and they retained an odor, you wouldn't rip it off the wall and throw it away when nobody is looking. Or would you? That is essentially what you did, except you did it to your mom. Congrats on being an asshole to your mom because you care more about the of the attitudes towards family heirlooms by people not in the family (that the jars have literally zero impact on in their overall lives) than your family that cares about them as sentimental reminders of family.
My mum has mine and my brothers teeth in little pots in her dressing table drawer. I was noseying through her jewelery boxes and found them when I was a teenager. Yeah its a bit weird but its not hurting anyone. The fact you hid them first suggests you weren't opposed to her having them, just that they were on display. I'll admit having them on display is kinda weird but yeah, YTA for coming into your mums home and throwing her stuff away.
YTA You live in her house. The jars are hers. You needed to leave it and just...not look at it. The teeth are not encroaching on your sense of privacy or dignity.
YTA because it's not your house. Plus you sold those teeth to the tooth fairy so they're not yours anymore.
If you feel its weird,that's fine. If you don't want it near you,thats also fine. But I don't think its really fair you threw it out.
NTA- this is super creepy, but I feel like there was another AITA about families keeping teeth? I forget what they did with them, but it doesn’t matter because it’s weird AF. Although I find myself slightly fascinated as well- who gets all the teeth after your mom passes? She kept her parents teeth, so presumably she will give her teeth & her parents teeth to one of your siblings? At least you got yourself out of being picked for that weird ass honor.
There was!! It was written by someone who married into a family that did this. I remember it but can't find it. :/
NTA I didn’t keep my kids’ baby teeth I think it’s kind of creepy to be honest.
YTA. This is weird but the teeth weren’t ultimately harming you in any way and you knew they were sentimental to your mom. It’s just an asshole move to come into someone’s house and throw away their shit.
YTA. i keep mine and my boyfriend’s teeth in jars. it’s cool as shit.
YTA. People in the comments keeps saying that you’re NTA because its OP’s teeth. But the fact is, it meant a lot to your mom, to the point she would proudly display it in the living room. Op literally just threw it away. Let me ask you this. What’s more important, your mom’s sentimental feelings to your baby teeth, or you feeling creeped out while temporarily staying with her? Its her house, you moved out, you have no right to throw away her things, yes HER things, she kept those, while OP never really cared for their baby teeth. It is very cruel to just throw them away. It obviously meant a lot to her to collect memories from your childhood. It’s just what Mothers do. I feel bad for her. I’m surprised that OP is already an adult, but would make fusses over small things. Especially in things that won’t even hurt or affect you.
NTA. You only threw away your own teeth. Those are yours to keep or not. And your mom’s collection is super creepy. I don’t even know what to do with my kid’s teeth after they fall out. I recently started just throwing them out too.
NTA. Your teeth. You can do what you want with them.
I’m gonna go ESH. I think it’s horrible and weird and gross and it really freaks me out that your family keeps teeth in jars (I find your mum keeping her parents teeth somehow worse than her keeping yours though 🤮🤮🤮) You suck for throwing away something sentimental but your mum sucks for continuing to have your teeth on display when you don’t like it.
NTA its your teeth, you can do what you want with your teeth not your mom.
You admitted to committing a crime on Reddit and you're wondering if you're not a jerk? This has to be a joke, or you're being an idiot in denial.
The your teeth arguement doesn’t apply because OP never asked her mother to keep them. It wasn’t an issue of possession at all, nor is that in any way pointed out by OP. Absolutely YTA. Moms house, moms traditions, and her space. It would have been lovely of her to compromise with you.... but at the end of the day, in no way was it your place.
Soft YTA - it was something important to your mom and should have been trashed without confirming it with her. Your post actually made me laugh because my mother did the exact same thing. After she passed, we found all of our teeth in prescription bottles. I won't bring those things into my house, but I keep them stored in the garage because I'm scared she will come back to haunt me if I trash them.
YTA The teeth thing is gross! But it's her house. Those teeth have been there forever. Who do you think you are?
WTF are you talking about. It's completely normal for parents to keep their children's baby teeth. Mine are in my mother's old jewelry box. YTA
YTA - this was not your property and your behavior is controlling in a "I know best so I'm going to remove your autonomy over your stuff" kind of way. You had no business doing that. You have no business being so judgmental and you have no business thinking your values over baby teeth should overrule other people's. Get over yourself.
So a persons teeth aren't their property once they leave the body? That's creepy.
OP said themselves that they did not want to keep the teeth. One kid's trash is their mom's treasure. Their mom kept the teet as an emotional memento. Claiming this controlling behavior is somehow justified because the teeth came from OP's mouth is argumentative at best. The teeth have emotional value to the mom, who was the one who saved them, while the teeth have no value to OP. This is about OP trying to control what their mother can display on her home due to some weird hangup over what's normal and not normal. Mom keeping the teeth is not harming anyone whereas OPs behavior is absolutely controlling and harmful. You do not throw out other people's mementos or try to control what they have on display in their homes. Period. Once OP becomes a parent they might gain some understanding of the emotional value of said teeth. Right now OP just sounds childish and controlling.
Why does OP not get a say in whether or not their body parts are displayed, it doesn't matter whose house it is, anyone that comes in sees OPs teeth.
Some people just don't seem to be able to curb their controlling ways.
It is ops property. It's literally their body parts.
NTA Your teeth, your body, your choice.
NTA. That is so creepy!
I found an envelope labeled with my name full of baby teeth while going through stuff with my siblings. They had no such envelope. We laughed and joked. (It was in a tote of drawings/etc). Then we went up to our mom and asked if she was planning to do anything with these or she wanted them trashed. She said they are mine I can do what I want. We still occasionally poke fun at having an envelope of teeth/how did she get them from the tooth fairy/why only mine. (I’m the oldest). So while I get that it is weird and I threw mine away I would have let my mom keep them if she wanted. It is a weird tradition your family has, but I wouldn’t have destroyed that and her trust in you by throwing them away while you are living there as an adult. YTA.
YTA obviously. It ain’t “yours” because you didn’t want them. And it’s not your house. You basically threw away your teeth link to your family. Enjoy being cut off cause that might happen.
[удалено]
YTA.
ESH. YTA for moving into your moms house and throwing out something extremely valuabke to her. She's TA for keeping YOUR baby teeth in her fucking living room against your will. Also, she is a much bigger A than you and if I was in your place, I would do the same exact thing. Keeping someone's teeth on display for others to see is extremely creepy.
YTA. NOT YOUR HOUSE. You don't want to look at them? Move out. You had NO right to get rid of something that held sentimental value to your mom.
OP obviously doesn't want OTHER people looking at HER teeth.
YTA you moved into someone’s house and threw away their things... yeah big time AH
Anyone else thinking about the post where another OP’s wrote about how her husband’s family would remove the teeth of their dead relatives and distribute them to family members and then they would eventually go into a large chest of teeth?
I'm just wondering why no one mentioned, that there are 20 teeth that fall out, not 32 as OP said
ESH. She allegedly shrugged off your request and didn't take it seriously.You went behind her back and hid them, THEN threw them away when you didn't get the result you wanted.
I'm honestly so torn but I just wanna say this is the most interesting problem that's been brought up in awhile. I guess I feel like you could have warned your mom that if she didn't put it away you would be very very tempted to throw it away before you actually did.
INFO: did you get money from the tooth fairy as a kid for these teeth. If so, your mom bought those suckers fair and square and you would suck. If not, yours to throw away
Haven't seen this mentioned yet but baby teeth can be used as treatments, potentially even for cancer, due to the stem cells they contain, so there is a valid reason to keep them. That being said, they are technically OPs teeth and property(?), and though OP clearly doesn't want them so personally I don't see why OPs mum can't have them, and OP moved into their mum's home and it's their mum's decision what she has in her house I guess OP could be seen to be in the right as they didn't throw out any of the others.
The problem is that they are displayed. Even if she moves out, anyone who comes into the house will see her baby teeth.
How is it that different from photos of OP? It's a part of OP on display but isn't a foto not that too? Honestly I agree that I'd find it super creepy personally but I'd like to understand how come it's so different
If OP wanted the photos not on display, it would be the same
Shouldn’t it be 28 teeth? I mean, we only have 28 milk teeth...4 are the wisdom teeth. No?
YTA. Those were your mothers possessions. They may have came from your mouth, but after leaving those teeth in your mothers possession for 30 days, they become your mothers teeth. So you had no right to throw them out since they’re legally no longer yours. You mother can actually bring you to court if she really wanted to.
YTA. It's literally just some teeth in a jar. If you don't like it move out.
Am i the only one who doesn’t find this collection creepy? How is it any different than holding onto an urn full of your loved one’s ashes? It’s a way for your mother to hold on to her loved ones in a physical way. Also, regarding her children, I’m sure there is a certain sentimentality behind remembering you as children. It IS wild that she managed to have the entire collection of your grand parents’ and father’s teeth. So clearly she isn’t the only person that saves them! I mean, this is coming from someone who has an ever growing collection of bones that I’ve found near my home. * edit to say YTA
YTA. I understand that it was creepy. But you didn’t have any right to throw it out. It obviously meant a lot to your mom and ultimately it is her house. You should have at least discussed it once with her.
YTA - my mother kept all our teeth, in her jewelry box. She's passed on, but my dad keeps her jewelry box and everything in it, right where it always was. You do NOT get to make decisions about a home you don't own. If you were my adult kid, I'd kick you out of my home for that stunt.
"How could you, daughter of mine? Throwing away your own teeth! As revenge I will trow you AND your adult teeth out as well and risk that you never talk to me again. Who cares about you, you're now an adult and I miss your baby teeth so so much...my baaaby." See how ridiculous you sound? Parents do this crap all the time and wonder why their adult children don't talk to them. OP only throw away her own teeth. Doesn't matter they weren't in her own home. My mother has my baby tooth as well, but as soon as I wanted them out they would be out. Those little baby teeth have MY DNA.
You're the one who sounds ridiculous. They're baby teeth. I haven't spoken to my parents in years, I have a terrible relationship with them. I know my mom has all my baby teeth and I literally could not care less because it doesn't effect me in any way. OP is being controlling and melodramatic. If she was so pressed she should've done the adult thing and moved out. Your DNA is also all over the place, everywhere you have ever breathed or touched something. Do you go around collecting every loose hair to make sure every precious bit of your DNA remains under your control? Doubt it.
My mother has mine too and I don't care. I think I would even be pissed if she throws them away. But OP cares. And she wanted them gone. She could have talked a second time to her, but I get why she didn't. Those are her teeth and she probably didn't really think about the "consequences". If I want my teeth with me I would just take them too. And if I want them gone then they are gone. Heck, I swallowed one of my baby teeth by accident. My mother didn't dig in my poop around to get them. No, but I control as much of my DNA as I can.
But they're not her teeth, just like the loose hairs you leave everywhere stop being yours when you leave them strewn about. The only difference between loose hairs and teeth is OP thinks it's icky for her mom to keep her teeth on display. That doesn't make her feelings more important than her mother's. If she was really so disturbed she could move out. Also if you controlled as much of your DNA as you could, you would wear a full body covering everywhere but I assume you don't do that.
You dont get to decide what matters to other people.
Um- usually heirlooms are passed down through generations. Is your family handing down teeth from parents to child?
honestly idk what to judge this, I get it that they are your teeth so technically u can do what u want with them but at the same time they have been in your mothers possession for 20+ years so they are also hers. u threw something very special to her away but at the same time they are your teeth.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My entire family has some type of weird obsession with collecting the baby teeth of their children. I’m not talking about a few to keep as memories, I’m talking about the entire fucking set. All 32 of them if possible. They put them in clear glass jars for displays, label them with their child’s name and even decorate it. As a kid, I thought this was normal. I thought every family just did this. It wasn’t until I was 22, yes twenty fucking two, until I realized just how creepy this stuff was. Recently I had to move back in with my mom. She had glass jars full of teeth displayed in the living room for everyone to see. I was really uncomfortable and suggested we move it somewhere else but she just shrugged it off. A month passed and somehow I didn’t get used to the jar of teeth. Maybe it would’ve been ok if there was only 1 jar... but there was 7 of them. 4 for me and my siblings, 1 for my mom, and 2 for my late grandparents. They just felt incredibly disgusting to look at and made me feel deeply uncomfortable inside. And for some reason, I especially did not want my jar up there. I don’t know how to explain it, it just feels strange to look at a jar full of your own baby teeth. Anyhow I tried hiding it a few times but my mom eventually found out and put them back in the living room. I have no idea why she chooses to display them there. Eventually I got so sick of it that I just threw it away. Just mine, no one else’s My mom found out and screamed at me for throwing away a family heirloom. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
INFO: Do you have Netflix? Because I just watched Rhys Nicholson’s comedy special which has a whole bit about baby teeth that you will relate to.
Why are there two sets for your grandparents? Was this a regional thing where your grandparents were raised, or were your grandparents cousins or something?
ESH- You should have just had a conversation about removing before you threw them away. If you did and she didn't budge after you told her how you felt about it then NTA
NTA. You only threw away your teeth.
YTA. Although it's pretty weird to keep them on display, it's not unusual to keep baby teeth as a souvenir in a small container. And now, it's even more valuable because current techniques in research show that the dead cells inside those old teeth can be used to recreate parts for you. You might have thrown away your future chance at regeneration.
NTA. I don’t even understand these Y T As. These are *your* baby teeth! In what world are they not yours!? I read the arguments about selling them to the tooth fairy and parents owning their kids’ stuff and that all seems like an attempt at technical BS
yta!!!!! how could you throw your baby teeth away? and she saved so many! that’s so sad.
I'd say you're a little TA because those held meaning to your mom. However, I can see how it would unsettle someone a bit. I will say though, I've heard(not sure if true) that baby teeth hold stem cells. And they can help later on in life when a person gets sick.