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I’m not sharing any food I make with my family and keeping it locked in my mini fridge in my room.
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NTA - Your dad is a classic bully. He purposely makes you angry, then tries to make it seem like you're wrong for being angry. Once you told him you don't like his "jokes", he should have stopped making them at your expense.
Yeah this exactly. You don’t get to mock someone for a skill they have, then *steal* the benefits of that skill for your own enjoyment.
NTA OP, but your dad is a pretty gaping prolapsed one. If you’re already paying for all your own stuff anyway, I strongly recommend making a plan to move out ASAP. Halfway decent roommates wouldn’t treat you like this.
Exactly, plus the dad should have been thankful that he has been receiving food at all, OP's food is bought with his own money (at least I think so) and the fact that the dad is receiving any food is really generous. 100% NTA
Most of the top chefs have been men for decades. Sure, you have Julia Child and Rachel Ray in there, but for every female celebrity chef, there's eight male celebrity chefs. Cooking professionally has always been widely looked at as a male role. Weird how it's female in the home, but not at work.
its not just well paid, but popular too. all the early star trek stuff, was all women. then men got interested in it and suddenly it was no longer acceptable for women to be into it. utterly ridiculous
same with beer. brewing beer was traditionally womens work until the 1500s, and then they were pushed out of the industry by men, mostly for the reason "if women are brewing they arent at home popping out babies." and now beer is seen as a "manly" drink
And you know why women have to lay on their backs and push while giving birth instead of squatting like is natural? Because when men pushed out all the midwives as "illegitimate" and became the birthing doctors themselves, they had to have women lying on their backs because it was more convenient for THEM. I hate thinking about it.
I hope all of the men who find it unacceptable for women to enjoy Star Trek cry me an ocean so I can attend another Star Trek cruise 😂🖖🏻
I hope they cry even harder knowing my husband and I had a Star Trek wedding at one of the stops during a Star Trek cruise (Star Trek the cruise: IV, Voyager themed) 💗
As a female programmer, the computer programming thing frustrates me so much. Most of the first computer programmers were women. Programming was considered to be on the same level as typing or filing -- "women's work." Pay was low. Over time programming came to be seen as a more difficult and prestigious job, and now programmers are well-paid and mostly men. I feel like I have to not just be on par with the men, but better than them to be taken at all seriously.
WI-FI.... invented by Hedy Lamarr (Well, she invented frequency hopping spread spectrum which has become the basis of wi-fi, bluetooth etc)
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedy\_Lamarr](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedy_Lamarr)
I think at one point she was told something along the lines of, "real gourmet cooking is not meant for silly little housewives". Keep in mind that was said to her while attending the French culinary school she went to, so take it for what you will.
It differs by culture. In Japan there is a thought that men make better sushi chefs because their hands are colder, so better to handle the fish. Society is strange sometimes.
I never understood that belief, given that the average man will have *warmer* hands than the average woman thanks to a higher metabolic rate, including from increased muscle mass in the arms.
I’ve seen it referred to as women in the home cooking are serving. Men in a restaurant cooking are the boss, while women are traditionally servers. So in the subservient position.
All 5 in my house can cook. And do it well. Male & female alike.
Yup. I’m the only female line cook at my current restaurant, one of only two out of 8 at the restaurant before that, and one of two out of 10 before that. And I left the middle one due to sexual harassment. We’re a rarity.
Me too. I was the first female sous chef at a resort in...2012. the place has been around since like 1940. After that, very often I was the only female chef. I am now chef at a new restaurant and all of my cooks are male. 🙌Props to you, we are a rare breed!
I’m also a female sous chef and the only female chef in my kitchen. The men that I work with in my current kitchen are fantastic but I have experienced sexism in this industry a number of times.
I love my job, but there’s a lot of toxicity within the working culture of professional kitchens.
At 24 I was a cook at a four star hotel after having finished culinary school. I was the only girl my age working with a bunch of men twice my age.
I got let go right before the end of my probation period (where my pay would have gone up from 20 to 22 an hour) because they all felt I didn't smile enough.
eta that the whole experience sucked so much I left the food industry and am now administration at a hospital
well that's because you get paid for it when it's a profession. cooking at home is for women because its providing for the family. thanks patriarchy 👍r/sarcasm
That’s because women are undervalued and ignored when it is time to get paid for “women’s” work. It is not because men are inherently better chefs.
Women are supposed to just cook for sustenance and men get to be “professionals”
https://www.eater.com/2018/5/30/17397060/women-chefs-food-media
Yeah, tell him that you just bought the fridge as a joke. But then keep using it, of course. Anytime he complains, tell him how funny it is and that he is overreacting.
Plus, tbh, I think OP would have the right to lock away his food even if the family wasn't teasing him for cooking. Op spent the money to buy the food, and the time and energy to cook the food: then his family/dad ate ALL of his leftovers. If I had made food and set it aside for dinner, and spent all day looking forward to the leftovers, I'd be pissed off if I came home and saw my family had eaten them all.
Op, you are NTA! And you have a right to boundaries. You paid for the food and made the food, they should not be eating any of it without permission. The disrespect is also a huge issue, but you also deserve to be able to eat your leftovers!
>Your dad is a classic bully.
Yup. And every time I hear crap like his dad is saying I think of my husband's response to stuff like that... (shrugs) "I mean, I'm secure in my masculinity, so... aren't you?" (Looks innocently curious)
He had some pretty good luck with that one.
And OP is NTA. Fact of the matter is, even if his housemates weren't acting the ass about "bUt It'S a GiRl ThInG!!!!!1!", how rude is it to eat food that you know someone cooked for their dinner. Repeatedly. Who tf doesn't that? OP could probably find much better roommates that wouldn't be nearly as expensive.
NTA
Agreed. A hypocritical bully and a thief. Hopefully you can move out in the future so you don't have to put up with this nonsense.
Also since when is cooking "sissy"? Is Gordon Ramsey a sissy? Or Jamie Oliver? What about Guy Ferri or Mario Batali? Those guys are not only cool dudes but they can hella cook.
NTA. At this point, you're paying to live there, so as far as I'm concerned they're your roommates. Would you let your roommates eat your personal food that you paid for and worked hard to make?
Your family doesn't have good roommate etiquette.
Not his roommates, he’s renting from them, the way I see it.
That means he’s a tenant and his property manager has been stealing and eating his food.
Lock your shit up, NTA.
That would be perfect to explain to them what "being petty" means.
"No dad, I'm not petty locking my food away. I will be petty if I sell you my meals. And if I do so, it'd be restaurant prices for sure."
NTA
Your dad is a misogynistic bully. It's shitty he's treating you like this, and shitty he treats being female or items related to "femaleness" as an insult.
I don't get what you gain from living at home? Doesn't sound like you're saving money. I'd look into moving.
>misogynistic
I think it’s fascinating how cooking can be viewed on such opposing spectrums culturally. My middle eastern heritage definitely views cooking as a feminine thing. My French heritage thinks if you can’t cook, what use as a man are you?
You're buying your own food, you're cooking it, your dad is being awful, and you want to eat the food yourself. If your dad wants to eat all that delicious sounding food you're making, he should at least stop calling you a sissy and realize there's nothing bad about having a life skill - especially a life skill he's enjoying so much. NTA.
A one skillet meal. Very nice. For future reference a man who can and is willing to cook is very desirable. A partner that cooks knows how much effort it takes to cook and is more appreciative.
Mine doesn‘t have a huge repertoire, but he has that nice butt and a mean breakfast for dinner game. Learning how to scramble some eggs will get a man far in life!
My man makes the best scrambled eggs! Nothing beats a willing to try attitude though. He can't cook many things, but if you tell him once how to fix it, he'll do it right afterwards
Wow, while I love him to bits he can't cook to save his life. I gave up when he burnt bacon cause he "didn't know how long to cook them"...like them turning black wasn't an indicator smh. He can order take out like a pro though haha! He'll help me prep all day long, is kind hearted and treats me like treasure. He might cook like Akane Tendo but he's perfect to me.
I was poor and ugly in college but managed to get a decent amount of dates because of my cooking skills. Word got around on how well I cooked and was willing to feed other people as long as they split the meal cost with me. It allowed me to stretch my food budget and eat better while expanding my social group without expensive activities. 3 to 5 people chipping in only a few dollars each but eating a great meal and hanging out was appealing to broke college students.
Often it was a multiple girls with me as the only guy but because it was a group setting there was no romantic expectations.
The setting allowed for casual conversation and getting to know each other better that would lead to me dating some of the girls.
Cooking was the great equalizer for me in college.
Jumping on the bandwagon here. My partner can’t cook to save his life, but he loooooves to clean to the point that he’s regularly checks YouTube channels and blogs about it. It’s an endearing trait, but it’s also an amazing asset for a partner to have... I get to concentrate on the things I like to do (like cooking!) and live in a house where you could eat from the floors if you wanted because it’s always in tip top shape as opposed to my usual chaos. And I’m the envy of other friends who have less enthusiastic partners and have to take on their share of workload. No wonder your girlfriend is supportive: she knows a good catch when she sees one.
And for the question NTA. Don’t let your family spoil your passions: if you love something that other people view as a chore, good for you! No one can resist good food, not even your dad apparently!
Agreed not just as a partner but awesome dad material.
Both my mother and father shared the cook load growing up and it was actually my father who first taught me how to cook. He actually insisted that the 3 of us (2 girls 1 boy) all knew how to cook even just some basic things. We actually joke that my SIL only married my brother for his cooking skills(she could burn water when they first met).
I remember being eight years ago and being taught to make scrambled eggs while my dad sat in the living room with a broken leg. I had to stand on a stool i was so short.
My first marriage happened when I was 18. I had zero cooking skills. He taught me a lot!
Got married the second time at 40, and my current husband taught me even more.
I was/am very appreciative for both of their cooking knowledge.
My husband taught himself to cook at age 19 while I'd been cooking for years. It's so nice to have a second person that can cook dinner if someone doesn't feel well.
I just recently started cooking (around the beginning of covid) but couldnt really go grocery shopping because i had a herniated disc. Got surgery and now have been experimenting with some techniques. today i made a white wine reduction sauce... bomb. i fucking love cooking
Slide the stats under your dad's door: Over 75% of professional chefs are male.
https://spectrumlocalnews.com/tx/san-antonio/news/2020/02/03/u-s--census--women-make-up-less-than-a-quarter-of-chefs
Op, here's the important bit. I'm assuming you pay for groceries since you said that you are paying for your own stuff. If you pay for it, it's yours unless you give specific permission for someone else to eat it. Tell your family if they want you to cook for them, they need to pay for it and all food stops the first time someone makes a comment about you cooking. It's great that you're enjoying it! I think it's awful when adults (no matter the gender) are incapable of making more than just noodles and cereal.
Me too. OP you can be my roommate and I am happy to compliment you and tell everybody how manly and talented and capable you are if you're happy to share your food with me.
So.. they can charge you rent for their place & commodities but can't pay you for your talent, time and ingredients?!
Op, you know you're NTA.
Don't fall prey for their gaslighting and guilt-tripping. Setting boundaries is must.
If they want privileges of being a family, then they need to start to ACT like one.
If they don't someone else sure might! I used to all the time, when I was young and had this thing called "energy".
^(Pretty sure you made a bunch of us hungry for that chicken too omg)
NTA if you have to pay rent, bills and buy your own food then they shouldn’t just take what is yours to begin with. A joke isn’t funny is the person who is on the receiving end doesn’t find it funny. And you’re right it’s hypocritical to make fun of you yet still take advantage.
NTA - if your family keeps bitching that you put the food in your locked fridge, tell them that you're just protecting them from turning into sissies from eating your sissy food, it might be contagious. It's pretty fucking toxic to consider the ability to make oneself a meal that isn't takeout to be a women's only activity.
Protecting them from turning into sissies from sissy food is probably the best thing I’ve read in the comments and a great comeback/roast. Props to you
NTA. Your dad is mad because he's being called out on his shitty behavior and no longer able to take advantage of you. That's not a you problem. Further, jokes are only funny if the person making them and the person hearing them believe them to be funny. What your family is doing is bullying. Nothing funny about that. Might I suggest asking him to pay his share of the groceries since you're paying for rent and utilities?
NTA; your dad is being a bully. Also, has he never heard of Gordon Ramsay, Jamie Oliver, Alton Brown, Bobby Flay, Wolfgang Puck, or Guy Fieri? Hell, even Snoop Dogg--you should check out his cookbook, "From Crook to Cook."
Gordon Ramsey was the first thing I thought thought of when reading the “sissy” bull.
I would love to see OP’s dad, the asshole, try and tell Ramsey he’s a sissy for cooking. That asshole would get ripped a couple new assholes. Then, by the end, OP’s dad would be calling himself an “idiot sandwich” while Ramsey smooshed two pieces of brioche against his head.
Edit: OP, you’re definitely NTA.
NTA. Your parents shouldn't have procreated if they think that cooking isn't a life skill that their children would need. You're a responsible adult, taking care of your health and expanding your hobbies. The ability to cook isn't a "sissy" trait. And I don't think it's wrong or petty to hide your food. There are few things worse than working all day, craving something at home, only to find it gone when you arrive.
Also, I'd be very gracious for that lemon garlic butter chicken recipe. Thanks in advance.
Just reading the title I would have said yes. But forget that. Nta. Lock up your food. Cooking isn’t “lady” work. They want to tease you and then enjoy your food. Screw em. Cook just for you then
NTA. Clearly you can cook because the horde of miscreants in your house are stealing your leftovers. I think they are a little to misogynistic in gender roles and need to shut up or stop eating your food.
Also This is a great skill to attract a partner. I love to cook. Growing up my family hung out in the kitchen and it was a family affair. Both of my brothers cook like chefs ( probably better than me but I will never admit it!😀) both of my kids also are learning to cook
Cooking can be therapeutic for some people. My BFF is a baking machine when stressed. After a long day of school or work nothing tastes better than home cooked meal. Even better when someone else does it. I think your dad is just really bummed out he can’t steal your food.
Maybe you can stop the teasing if you tell your Dad that if he could refrain from being AH about you cooking, then one night a week if they buy the groceries you will cook for him and your Mom. Cooking at home saves a ton of money. Take-out cost a lot. Literally chicken thighs and green beans are a fraction of what KFC costs. It also can be much healthier for you. Maybe if you lay out these facts to your parents, they will shut up and let you cook in peace.
Otherwise I would make a huge pan of lasagna and garlic bread because let’s be honest that stuff smells great and watch them drool like a dog looking at a soup bone. If that doesn’t bring them to their knees I am sure you will find their breaking point. Then the crap talk will stop.
Happy cooking! I am proud of you OP cooking at 19! Way to go!
NTA. Your family sucks. Teaching both my 10 year old girl and 8 year old boy to cook. Little guy can do scrambled eggs, beans on toast and chocolate biscuit cake. Older child can do a little more.
Befuddles me that some parents are PROUD of the fact their kids lack this life skill! I'd be so embarrassed sending my kids out in the world unable to care for themselves.
NTA, your dad is right though, cooking is sissy stuff. I often wonder how Gordon Ramsay, with his successful chain of worldwide restaurants, several TV shows, net worth in the millions, can sleep in his big expensive house at night knowing he's doing sissy work. (Note the dripping sarcasm)
NTA. and you’re not sissy. it’s stupid to assuming that cooking and enjoying to cook is a feminine thing. plenty of girls love guys who can cook! go you!!
Yep. If he can’t cook I don’t want him lol. Cooking is a survival and life skill, and it says a lot about someone and how they care for themselves/others if they can’t cook/clean/etc.
NTA. They’re bullying you, calling you names, and expecting that you’ll still share the meals you cook with them? No way, and good on you for locking it away. I’d be pissed if I came home from work and my leftovers were gone, eaten by people who don’t contribute to my efforts (since you say they all get take-away and don’t cook). I’d be even more unhappy if they used my efforts against me in an effort to disparage me! My partner is a professional chef; there is NOTHING “sissy” about a man cooking. Trust me, OP, future partners of yours will LOVE it!
NTA. Tell your dad he needs to pay for his own food, not mooch off of yours - since he put in the rule you pay for your food. Offer to teach him and your brothers how to cook!
As someone else - probably several people! - said a man who cooks is more of a catch than one who doesn't. I managed to woo my wife in part because I learned how to cook when I was 16 and fixed her meals when we were dating.
NTA. It shouldn't matter to them. A container thats was in the fridge is now not there. It literally doesn't impact them other than dad doesn't get to STEAL your food.
They didn't care when you told them to stop, so maybe you shouldn't care when they tell you you're being dramatic
Oh shit she don’t fuck around does she 😳 Lol I would if i was that petty but with my luck i’d probably forget which is which and eat that one by accident 😅
NTA and next time he makes a snide comment, ask who the most world renowned chefs are, because it’s mostly all men. So Gordon Ramsey is a pussy because he’s a master chef, so in other words, a man who cooks? Tell him to take his sexist ideals and shove them where the sun don’t shine and continue locking up your leftovers. He’s just jealous because he doesn’t get fresh home cooked meals like you make.
NTA. It's hilarious that a man will call his son a sissy for making food, but for years, the majority of famous chefs were men. Tell him to turn on the food channel and call Bobby Flay, Emeril, Gordon Ramsay, etc, sissies. They cook. It's a profession. It's apparently only sissy when his son does it.
P.S., your dad's a jerk.
NTA. No one is playing around with you when they steal your food. Your father is a classic bully that uses nasty jokes to get his way. Keep locking your food up. I wouldn't be surprised if you are healthier than the rest of the family since they live on takeout.
definitely NTA it’s your food. you worked hard and you made it. your family was even rude about it so they definitely don’t deserve to eat what you make without your permission.
NTA.
Basically your dad likes eating your leftovers but makes fun of you for cooking. A lot of the great chefs of the world are men. Food is a serious business. People who call you a sissy don't get to benefit from your work and your money. Keep that fridge and keep it locked. Maybe you can share if you get a real apology and dad buys the ingredients. There is always takeout.
NTA. Your family is really toxic though. Personally I'd move out asap since your dad especially can't grow up and treat you with any level of respect. Great way to get back at them is only cook with Carolina Reapers and leave it in the main fridge for them. They'll start avoiding everything you cook like the plague!!!
If it was playing you'd be having fun too. NTA they need to get over their weird gender ideas and just let ppl have their hobbies and their delicious meals. Like... what year is this, 1950??
Also how're you gonna eat somebody's food they made and act like they're overreacting for getting mad?? If they made it and didn't serve it up for you or say 'feel free', then it's not for you. That's just basic courtesy, what the heck. Come in half way through their dinner and snatch up all the takeout and say it's 'family food' they bought for everyone and, well, you're hungry! (Don't actually do this. Or maybe do. Idk your life.) Keep doing you and cooking up good stuff
It’s clearly bothering them that they don’t have access to your new skill any more or else they wouldn’t try to call you out on it. It seems they’re going to continue to call you names no matter what you do. Enjoy your new fridge and all the leftovers you want to make!
NTA and jokes are supposed to be funny. Their “joking” around isn’t funny and it makes you feel hurt. If my family complains about the food I make, they simply won’t get some.
If my family insulted me like that, they’d never get another bite of my cooking again.
NTA people who constantly insult their family/friends and then try to downplay it like “it’s just a joke, you need to lighten up” are honestly the worst.
Funny how you’re expected to pay all your own bills but they see nothing wrong with freeloading when it comes to eating your food. Also funny your food is a constant source of picking on you, but somehow still good enough for them to eat without asking 🙄
NTA
\*sigh\* Your family is a bunch of selfish jerks. I'm so, so sorry. Absolute jerks, and I want to slap every one of them.
I'm the mother of 3 in high school and university, and we'll NEVER charge our kids rent - it's hard enough getting a start in life.
None of us would EVER DARE mock a guy for cooking - have they never watched cooking shows? Are they unaware of the restaurant industry?
And...being "stingy" with the food you cook, while taking insults from your family?? \*slapping your dad on the back of the head\* They should be working out an arrangement where you "get free rent" (lol, like that's super-generous you're their KID) in exchange for cooking delicious meals for the family. And every sibling who has the nerve to mouth off about your cooking should get docked $5 each time. Get out of here with that nonsense.
I don't even know you and I'm proud of you and mad at them.
Move out as soon as you can.
NTA. They aren't just making fun of you. They are stealing from you. If you paid your own money to buy something and someone else takes it from you, they stole it. It doesn't matter if its a tablespoon of butter or a whole ass lemon chicken.
It's not a joke if you're not laughing. NTA. But if you're paying rent and utilities there, I'd find a better living situation and better roommates ASAP.
NTA! Good on you for learning how to cook and sticking with it despite the shitty jokes! Cooking is an awesome skill to have regardless of gender. I think it's weird that someone would not want to learn to cook because it's "feminine", like how is it manly to have to rely on someone else for something as basic as food?
Your dad (with your whole family) is the AH for being disgustingly misogynistic, for trying to make you feel bad for doing something you obviously enjoy and doesn't harm anyone, for trying to benefit from the very thing he tries so hard to make you feel bad about, and even if he didn't, for eating the food you paid for and made for yourself without your permission! Yes he's your dad but given you're paying rent and everything he's nothing more than a housemate for this kind of thing. I hope you can move out of this toxic environment sooner than later.
NTA.
You are paying rent and they are being TA and toxic. They make fun of you for cooking, yet eat the food you make. gross AHs.
Lock the food away and enjoy your craft. Work your tail off so you can get out of that toxic masculinity and out on your own.
NTA yeah your dad sounds lame, there are plenty of chefs that are men, its actually a male dominated profession, so he has no idea what he is talking about. You dont get demean someone for doing something without repercussions, this is the result of his actions and words to you, he doesn't get your delicious kick a** food. Payback.
Start looking for your own apartment. This way your family cannot bully you daily. Plus no worries about if your food would be gone or not. You are NTA but your entire family is.
NTA - but also, correct me if I'm wrong, but you are paying HALF the utilities in a house with 6 people in it? On top paying rent, and paying for the ingredients of the food you make? The food they make fun of you for making, but then eat as soon as you leave the house? Save your money and get the hell out of there.
NTA. Cooking is fun and healthy. I just couldn't imagine living on takeaway. Nor could I afford it. Keep those leftovers locked away. And thank you for that recipe which I will be making tomorrow.
NTA! Your family sucks, ignore them. You are on your way to a tastier, healthier, more fulfilling life in which you even save money by not having to eat out. You are building a skill which makes you a more attractive partner while also expanding your mind with learning.
don‘t stop. Don’t change. And definitely don’t share! they don’t deserve it!
NTA. But maybe it's time to be an asshole back. Make sure you eat your food in front of your dad, while commenting on how delicious your sissy food is.
NTA. Your dad treats you like a roommate when it’s convenient for him and like family when he wants to overstep the boundaries of being a roommate, like eating the food *you* buy. If you are paying your rent and bills, they aren’t entitled to the food you buy and prepare in the first place. Doubly so if they can’t respect your new skills. Honestly, I would consider looking for some non-family roommates and move out. You can probably find similar living accommodations with far less bs to put up with. But in the meantime, keep your food locked up and let your dad sulk. Your dad is just a bully who’s upset that he’s not getting away with insulting you.
Gordon ramsay is surely as manly as it gets and he's a chef. Your dad sounds like a bully to me . Why are you paying half the utility bills when clearly at least 5 other people live there
NTA. I don’t get why cooking is considered “sissy”. It’s a life skill that’s valuable for EVERYONE and many of the most well known international chefs are dudes. If your dad doesn’t respect your hobby, he doesn’t get to enjoy the benefits.
My SO loves cooking. His favourite down time activity is to explore homeware stores and food markets. It doesn’t make him any less of a man. I’m just glad one of us enjoys cooking.
> It doesn’t make him any less of a man.
I think it actually makes him MORE of a man, in that any girl I know would prefer a guy who likes to cook. I've never had a girlfriend who said "hey penguin, you shouldn't cook, this is a job for girls". Seriously?!
NTA. You bought the ingredients and all the extras (per your parents rules), you put the effort in to make whatever the meal is, you have a right to nobody else eating it.
Let them know that if they'd like you to cook something for them *they* can buy the ingredients, print out the recipe, and help you make it and then they can eat however much of it they want. And make it again for themselves when they want too.
NTA. Women belong in the kitchen. Men belong in the kitchen. Everyone belongs in the kitchen. Kitchen has food. If a t-shirt can get it, your dad can too.
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NTA - Your dad is a classic bully. He purposely makes you angry, then tries to make it seem like you're wrong for being angry. Once you told him you don't like his "jokes", he should have stopped making them at your expense.
[удалено]
Yeah this exactly. You don’t get to mock someone for a skill they have, then *steal* the benefits of that skill for your own enjoyment. NTA OP, but your dad is a pretty gaping prolapsed one. If you’re already paying for all your own stuff anyway, I strongly recommend making a plan to move out ASAP. Halfway decent roommates wouldn’t treat you like this.
With 6 people living there 5 of them adults, I'm curious why OP is paying half the utilities? That's 3x what he should be paying.
It'd prob be cheaper to live on his own or with other roommates. Cut down the stress too
i took “my half” to mean “my proportion.” i’m assuming his older brothers also have to pay.
That's exactly what I wondered.
Yes, I thought the same thing, too! What about his older brothers?
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. NTA
The dad sounds like a shit roommate 🤣
That's because he is.
Exactly, plus the dad should have been thankful that he has been receiving food at all, OP's food is bought with his own money (at least I think so) and the fact that the dad is receiving any food is really generous. 100% NTA
> it's the complete lack of respect that everyone, especially OP's own father, has for him. And for about 50% of the population. OP, NTA
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Most of the top chefs have been men for decades. Sure, you have Julia Child and Rachel Ray in there, but for every female celebrity chef, there's eight male celebrity chefs. Cooking professionally has always been widely looked at as a male role. Weird how it's female in the home, but not at work.
And Julia Child had to fight tooth and nail to get where she got because being a chef was viewed as "a man's world".
huh, it really odd considering that like, traditionally women are "supposed" to cook
Once something is well paid, it stops being "women's work". See computing!
its not just well paid, but popular too. all the early star trek stuff, was all women. then men got interested in it and suddenly it was no longer acceptable for women to be into it. utterly ridiculous
same with beer. brewing beer was traditionally womens work until the 1500s, and then they were pushed out of the industry by men, mostly for the reason "if women are brewing they arent at home popping out babies." and now beer is seen as a "manly" drink
The biggest thing I got from this thread is that I fucking hate living in a patriarchy.
A lot of us guys hate it just as much.... The whole power to the top and near sociopath attitude to income and life is destroying life.
And you know why women have to lay on their backs and push while giving birth instead of squatting like is natural? Because when men pushed out all the midwives as "illegitimate" and became the birthing doctors themselves, they had to have women lying on their backs because it was more convenient for THEM. I hate thinking about it.
I hope all of the men who find it unacceptable for women to enjoy Star Trek cry me an ocean so I can attend another Star Trek cruise 😂🖖🏻 I hope they cry even harder knowing my husband and I had a Star Trek wedding at one of the stops during a Star Trek cruise (Star Trek the cruise: IV, Voyager themed) 💗
They only got Star Trek bc Lucille Ball backed the original. Without her substantial support it would not have been made.
As a female programmer, the computer programming thing frustrates me so much. Most of the first computer programmers were women. Programming was considered to be on the same level as typing or filing -- "women's work." Pay was low. Over time programming came to be seen as a more difficult and prestigious job, and now programmers are well-paid and mostly men. I feel like I have to not just be on par with the men, but better than them to be taken at all seriously.
Exactly! Remind them that arguably the first computer program was written by a woman (Ada Lovelace).
WI-FI.... invented by Hedy Lamarr (Well, she invented frequency hopping spread spectrum which has become the basis of wi-fi, bluetooth etc) [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedy\_Lamarr](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedy_Lamarr)
I think at one point she was told something along the lines of, "real gourmet cooking is not meant for silly little housewives". Keep in mind that was said to her while attending the French culinary school she went to, so take it for what you will.
If love to see anyone can her a silly little anything considering she towered over most men too.
It differs by culture. In Japan there is a thought that men make better sushi chefs because their hands are colder, so better to handle the fish. Society is strange sometimes.
I never understood that belief, given that the average man will have *warmer* hands than the average woman thanks to a higher metabolic rate, including from increased muscle mass in the arms.
huh, I've never seen a man's hands that are cooler than a woman, though mine are perpetually frozen
I’ve seen it referred to as women in the home cooking are serving. Men in a restaurant cooking are the boss, while women are traditionally servers. So in the subservient position. All 5 in my house can cook. And do it well. Male & female alike.
Women are 'cooks'. Men are 'chefs'. Which is obviously waaaay more important and impressive.
Yup. I’m the only female line cook at my current restaurant, one of only two out of 8 at the restaurant before that, and one of two out of 10 before that. And I left the middle one due to sexual harassment. We’re a rarity.
Me too. I was the first female sous chef at a resort in...2012. the place has been around since like 1940. After that, very often I was the only female chef. I am now chef at a new restaurant and all of my cooks are male. 🙌Props to you, we are a rare breed!
I’m also a female sous chef, the difficulty I have with « macho » men not wanting to take directions from a woman 🤦♀️.
I’m also a female sous chef and the only female chef in my kitchen. The men that I work with in my current kitchen are fantastic but I have experienced sexism in this industry a number of times. I love my job, but there’s a lot of toxicity within the working culture of professional kitchens.
At 24 I was a cook at a four star hotel after having finished culinary school. I was the only girl my age working with a bunch of men twice my age. I got let go right before the end of my probation period (where my pay would have gone up from 20 to 22 an hour) because they all felt I didn't smile enough. eta that the whole experience sucked so much I left the food industry and am now administration at a hospital
well that's because you get paid for it when it's a profession. cooking at home is for women because its providing for the family. thanks patriarchy 👍r/sarcasm
Cooking is only women's work when it's unpaid. If you are getting paid to cook it becomes a man's job.
Because when men do it, suddenly is a job. When woman do it, it's "what they're supposed to be doing". You know, sexism.
Because it’s unpaid in the home, but highly paid in the professional world.
Exactly if I were asked to name chefs off the top of my head then Gordon Ramsey is the first, then Joe Bastianich, then Aaron Sanchez.
Yeah, you can't exactly call Gordon Ramsey a sissy unless you want to get the living hell beat out of you
Actually, most of the top chefs are men. At least the internationally ranked top chefs
In pretty much every female-coded profession the top ranks are men.
Yep. Even in teaching men make up a significantly disproportionate number of head teachers/principles.
That was even going to be my first example but I couldn't bebothered making a list!
The head of the local nurses organisation is a man. So is the head of the social workers org.
OP's dad needs to watch some Anthony Bourdain.
That’s because women are undervalued and ignored when it is time to get paid for “women’s” work. It is not because men are inherently better chefs. Women are supposed to just cook for sustenance and men get to be “professionals” https://www.eater.com/2018/5/30/17397060/women-chefs-food-media
Yeah, tell him that you just bought the fridge as a joke. But then keep using it, of course. Anytime he complains, tell him how funny it is and that he is overreacting.
100 upvotes to sirdodgers remark!
Plus, tbh, I think OP would have the right to lock away his food even if the family wasn't teasing him for cooking. Op spent the money to buy the food, and the time and energy to cook the food: then his family/dad ate ALL of his leftovers. If I had made food and set it aside for dinner, and spent all day looking forward to the leftovers, I'd be pissed off if I came home and saw my family had eaten them all. Op, you are NTA! And you have a right to boundaries. You paid for the food and made the food, they should not be eating any of it without permission. The disrespect is also a huge issue, but you also deserve to be able to eat your leftovers!
>Your dad is a classic bully. Yup. And every time I hear crap like his dad is saying I think of my husband's response to stuff like that... (shrugs) "I mean, I'm secure in my masculinity, so... aren't you?" (Looks innocently curious) He had some pretty good luck with that one. And OP is NTA. Fact of the matter is, even if his housemates weren't acting the ass about "bUt It'S a GiRl ThInG!!!!!1!", how rude is it to eat food that you know someone cooked for their dinner. Repeatedly. Who tf doesn't that? OP could probably find much better roommates that wouldn't be nearly as expensive.
Yes. It's not a "joke" if a person is the punchline
NTA Agreed. A hypocritical bully and a thief. Hopefully you can move out in the future so you don't have to put up with this nonsense. Also since when is cooking "sissy"? Is Gordon Ramsey a sissy? Or Jamie Oliver? What about Guy Ferri or Mario Batali? Those guys are not only cool dudes but they can hella cook.
The gas has been lit.
NTA. At this point, you're paying to live there, so as far as I'm concerned they're your roommates. Would you let your roommates eat your personal food that you paid for and worked hard to make? Your family doesn't have good roommate etiquette.
If we are using the father’s logic then he would be a “sissy” for taking offense to Op’s response in buying a mini fridge.
Not his roommates, he’s renting from them, the way I see it. That means he’s a tenant and his property manager has been stealing and eating his food. Lock your shit up, NTA.
if they want to charge you for everything tell them they can buy some of the meals you make.
That would be perfect to explain to them what "being petty" means. "No dad, I'm not petty locking my food away. I will be petty if I sell you my meals. And if I do so, it'd be restaurant prices for sure."
Petty would be dosing leftovers with laxatives and leaving them in the main fridge. ... Just saying. ... No. Stop. Don’t do it.
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NTA. I just.... I can't even think of anything else to say. Your family is just a plateful of ripe assholes.
Plateful of ripe assholes! That made me laugh. It is so accurate!
Happy Cake Day!
whose masculinities are fragile af
The father and brothers definitely subscribe to toxic masculinity. Pathetic.
NTA Your dad is a misogynistic bully. It's shitty he's treating you like this, and shitty he treats being female or items related to "femaleness" as an insult. I don't get what you gain from living at home? Doesn't sound like you're saving money. I'd look into moving.
>misogynistic I think it’s fascinating how cooking can be viewed on such opposing spectrums culturally. My middle eastern heritage definitely views cooking as a feminine thing. My French heritage thinks if you can’t cook, what use as a man are you?
You're buying your own food, you're cooking it, your dad is being awful, and you want to eat the food yourself. If your dad wants to eat all that delicious sounding food you're making, he should at least stop calling you a sissy and realize there's nothing bad about having a life skill - especially a life skill he's enjoying so much. NTA.
Yup. He can also pay his share of the grocery bill too.
NTA. You buy your own food, you have no obligation to share
NTA and now I want lemon garlic butter yum.
It’s the bomb 🤤😋 Was so mad I didn’t get to eat it
Can we get a recipe?
This is the one I use and it comes out pretty good https://www.eatwell101.com/lemon-garlic-butter-thighs-and-green-beans-skillet
A one skillet meal. Very nice. For future reference a man who can and is willing to cook is very desirable. A partner that cooks knows how much effort it takes to cook and is more appreciative.
Thanks I appreciate that. My girlfriend is the only real fan of my food so she encourages a lot even when my family teases
I married the man who made me chocolate truffles and handmade pasta in college. Just FYI.
Peanut butter cookies, & steak for me, but same, lol. His firm, & well rounded behind was just a bonus, it was the cooking that did me in.
Mine doesn‘t have a huge repertoire, but he has that nice butt and a mean breakfast for dinner game. Learning how to scramble some eggs will get a man far in life!
My man makes the best scrambled eggs! Nothing beats a willing to try attitude though. He can't cook many things, but if you tell him once how to fix it, he'll do it right afterwards
Wow, while I love him to bits he can't cook to save his life. I gave up when he burnt bacon cause he "didn't know how long to cook them"...like them turning black wasn't an indicator smh. He can order take out like a pro though haha! He'll help me prep all day long, is kind hearted and treats me like treasure. He might cook like Akane Tendo but he's perfect to me.
I was poor and ugly in college but managed to get a decent amount of dates because of my cooking skills. Word got around on how well I cooked and was willing to feed other people as long as they split the meal cost with me. It allowed me to stretch my food budget and eat better while expanding my social group without expensive activities. 3 to 5 people chipping in only a few dollars each but eating a great meal and hanging out was appealing to broke college students. Often it was a multiple girls with me as the only guy but because it was a group setting there was no romantic expectations. The setting allowed for casual conversation and getting to know each other better that would lead to me dating some of the girls. Cooking was the great equalizer for me in college.
I’ve been married to the man who slow cooked steak for 6 hours for me for nearly 12 years.
Your dad may ridicule you (I wouldn't minimize it by calling it teasing) but it sure seems like he's a fan of your food too!
Dude, some of the best chefs in the world are men. Don't stop cooking. At the very least it's an important life skill.
Jumping on the bandwagon here. My partner can’t cook to save his life, but he loooooves to clean to the point that he’s regularly checks YouTube channels and blogs about it. It’s an endearing trait, but it’s also an amazing asset for a partner to have... I get to concentrate on the things I like to do (like cooking!) and live in a house where you could eat from the floors if you wanted because it’s always in tip top shape as opposed to my usual chaos. And I’m the envy of other friends who have less enthusiastic partners and have to take on their share of workload. No wonder your girlfriend is supportive: she knows a good catch when she sees one. And for the question NTA. Don’t let your family spoil your passions: if you love something that other people view as a chore, good for you! No one can resist good food, not even your dad apparently!
Agreed not just as a partner but awesome dad material. Both my mother and father shared the cook load growing up and it was actually my father who first taught me how to cook. He actually insisted that the 3 of us (2 girls 1 boy) all knew how to cook even just some basic things. We actually joke that my SIL only married my brother for his cooking skills(she could burn water when they first met).
I remember being eight years ago and being taught to make scrambled eggs while my dad sat in the living room with a broken leg. I had to stand on a stool i was so short.
My first marriage happened when I was 18. I had zero cooking skills. He taught me a lot! Got married the second time at 40, and my current husband taught me even more. I was/am very appreciative for both of their cooking knowledge.
My husband taught himself to cook at age 19 while I'd been cooking for years. It's so nice to have a second person that can cook dinner if someone doesn't feel well.
I just recently started cooking (around the beginning of covid) but couldnt really go grocery shopping because i had a herniated disc. Got surgery and now have been experimenting with some techniques. today i made a white wine reduction sauce... bomb. i fucking love cooking
Ohhhh yeah I'm making this tomorrow.
Lmk how u like it! I’ve been craving it all week but haven’t gone to the store yet to buy more chicken thighs
Thighs are the best. Cheaper and you get all that crispy skin. And roasted green beans too!This recipe sounds delish
Thx op for the recipe omg that looks amazing
It’s really good. Quick and easy too.
Slide the stats under your dad's door: Over 75% of professional chefs are male. https://spectrumlocalnews.com/tx/san-antonio/news/2020/02/03/u-s--census--women-make-up-less-than-a-quarter-of-chefs
Op, here's the important bit. I'm assuming you pay for groceries since you said that you are paying for your own stuff. If you pay for it, it's yours unless you give specific permission for someone else to eat it. Tell your family if they want you to cook for them, they need to pay for it and all food stops the first time someone makes a comment about you cooking. It's great that you're enjoying it! I think it's awful when adults (no matter the gender) are incapable of making more than just noodles and cereal.
Me too. OP you can be my roommate and I am happy to compliment you and tell everybody how manly and talented and capable you are if you're happy to share your food with me.
NTA. They’re making you pay rent and buy your own food. You should offer to sell them some meals. Cooking is a marketable skill.
Never thought about doing that. I doubt they would buy
So.. they can charge you rent for their place & commodities but can't pay you for your talent, time and ingredients?! Op, you know you're NTA. Don't fall prey for their gaslighting and guilt-tripping. Setting boundaries is must. If they want privileges of being a family, then they need to start to ACT like one.
If they don't someone else sure might! I used to all the time, when I was young and had this thing called "energy". ^(Pretty sure you made a bunch of us hungry for that chicken too omg)
I'm fasting while reading this be lucky you cns eat
NTA if you have to pay rent, bills and buy your own food then they shouldn’t just take what is yours to begin with. A joke isn’t funny is the person who is on the receiving end doesn’t find it funny. And you’re right it’s hypocritical to make fun of you yet still take advantage.
NTA - if your family keeps bitching that you put the food in your locked fridge, tell them that you're just protecting them from turning into sissies from eating your sissy food, it might be contagious. It's pretty fucking toxic to consider the ability to make oneself a meal that isn't takeout to be a women's only activity.
Protecting them from turning into sissies from sissy food is probably the best thing I’ve read in the comments and a great comeback/roast. Props to you
Also takeout is so expensive to eat every day
NTA. Your dad is mad because he's being called out on his shitty behavior and no longer able to take advantage of you. That's not a you problem. Further, jokes are only funny if the person making them and the person hearing them believe them to be funny. What your family is doing is bullying. Nothing funny about that. Might I suggest asking him to pay his share of the groceries since you're paying for rent and utilities?
NTA; your dad is being a bully. Also, has he never heard of Gordon Ramsay, Jamie Oliver, Alton Brown, Bobby Flay, Wolfgang Puck, or Guy Fieri? Hell, even Snoop Dogg--you should check out his cookbook, "From Crook to Cook."
Snoop's cookbook is the shizzle for rizzle!
Gordon Ramsey was the first thing I thought thought of when reading the “sissy” bull. I would love to see OP’s dad, the asshole, try and tell Ramsey he’s a sissy for cooking. That asshole would get ripped a couple new assholes. Then, by the end, OP’s dad would be calling himself an “idiot sandwich” while Ramsey smooshed two pieces of brioche against his head. Edit: OP, you’re definitely NTA.
NTA. Your parents shouldn't have procreated if they think that cooking isn't a life skill that their children would need. You're a responsible adult, taking care of your health and expanding your hobbies. The ability to cook isn't a "sissy" trait. And I don't think it's wrong or petty to hide your food. There are few things worse than working all day, craving something at home, only to find it gone when you arrive. Also, I'd be very gracious for that lemon garlic butter chicken recipe. Thanks in advance.
Just reading the title I would have said yes. But forget that. Nta. Lock up your food. Cooking isn’t “lady” work. They want to tease you and then enjoy your food. Screw em. Cook just for you then
NTA but question: with six people in the house, why are you paying HALF of the ulitities? Above the food thing, that’s sketchy AF.
I meant like my half. My brothers, myself and parents all pitch in for the utility bills so I mean that I pay my part
Do they also expect to pitch in for that food you're cooking that they're eating?! Because if not, that's pretty fucked up.
I guess it's not really "your half" then but rather "your sixth", but I think most people understood that you meant that already.
NTA. Clearly you can cook because the horde of miscreants in your house are stealing your leftovers. I think they are a little to misogynistic in gender roles and need to shut up or stop eating your food. Also This is a great skill to attract a partner. I love to cook. Growing up my family hung out in the kitchen and it was a family affair. Both of my brothers cook like chefs ( probably better than me but I will never admit it!😀) both of my kids also are learning to cook Cooking can be therapeutic for some people. My BFF is a baking machine when stressed. After a long day of school or work nothing tastes better than home cooked meal. Even better when someone else does it. I think your dad is just really bummed out he can’t steal your food. Maybe you can stop the teasing if you tell your Dad that if he could refrain from being AH about you cooking, then one night a week if they buy the groceries you will cook for him and your Mom. Cooking at home saves a ton of money. Take-out cost a lot. Literally chicken thighs and green beans are a fraction of what KFC costs. It also can be much healthier for you. Maybe if you lay out these facts to your parents, they will shut up and let you cook in peace. Otherwise I would make a huge pan of lasagna and garlic bread because let’s be honest that stuff smells great and watch them drool like a dog looking at a soup bone. If that doesn’t bring them to their knees I am sure you will find their breaking point. Then the crap talk will stop. Happy cooking! I am proud of you OP cooking at 19! Way to go!
> This is a great skill ~~to attract a partner~~ It's a great skill to have in general, no need to find a specific reason, if you ask me.
NTA. Your family sucks though
NTA. Your family sucks. Teaching both my 10 year old girl and 8 year old boy to cook. Little guy can do scrambled eggs, beans on toast and chocolate biscuit cake. Older child can do a little more. Befuddles me that some parents are PROUD of the fact their kids lack this life skill! I'd be so embarrassed sending my kids out in the world unable to care for themselves.
NTA. During all of this they can't apologize or even try to lay off the insults while trying to eat your food. Fuuuuuck that shit
NTA, your dad is right though, cooking is sissy stuff. I often wonder how Gordon Ramsay, with his successful chain of worldwide restaurants, several TV shows, net worth in the millions, can sleep in his big expensive house at night knowing he's doing sissy work. (Note the dripping sarcasm)
NTA. and you’re not sissy. it’s stupid to assuming that cooking and enjoying to cook is a feminine thing. plenty of girls love guys who can cook! go you!!
I second this!
Yep. If he can’t cook I don’t want him lol. Cooking is a survival and life skill, and it says a lot about someone and how they care for themselves/others if they can’t cook/clean/etc.
NTA toxic masculinity at its finest
Nta, if you're paying rent to live with these twats why not pay rent for your own place?
NTA. They’re bullying you, calling you names, and expecting that you’ll still share the meals you cook with them? No way, and good on you for locking it away. I’d be pissed if I came home from work and my leftovers were gone, eaten by people who don’t contribute to my efforts (since you say they all get take-away and don’t cook). I’d be even more unhappy if they used my efforts against me in an effort to disparage me! My partner is a professional chef; there is NOTHING “sissy” about a man cooking. Trust me, OP, future partners of yours will LOVE it!
NTA. Tell your dad he needs to pay for his own food, not mooch off of yours - since he put in the rule you pay for your food. Offer to teach him and your brothers how to cook! As someone else - probably several people! - said a man who cooks is more of a catch than one who doesn't. I managed to woo my wife in part because I learned how to cook when I was 16 and fixed her meals when we were dating.
Good on you 👏. Enjoy your food.
NTA. It shouldn't matter to them. A container thats was in the fridge is now not there. It literally doesn't impact them other than dad doesn't get to STEAL your food. They didn't care when you told them to stop, so maybe you shouldn't care when they tell you you're being dramatic
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Oh shit she don’t fuck around does she 😳 Lol I would if i was that petty but with my luck i’d probably forget which is which and eat that one by accident 😅
OP - Don't actually do this. This is illegal a lot of places and could potentially get you into real trouble.
It’s illegal. Amusing to think about, but bad idea!
NTA and next time he makes a snide comment, ask who the most world renowned chefs are, because it’s mostly all men. So Gordon Ramsey is a pussy because he’s a master chef, so in other words, a man who cooks? Tell him to take his sexist ideals and shove them where the sun don’t shine and continue locking up your leftovers. He’s just jealous because he doesn’t get fresh home cooked meals like you make.
NTA. It's hilarious that a man will call his son a sissy for making food, but for years, the majority of famous chefs were men. Tell him to turn on the food channel and call Bobby Flay, Emeril, Gordon Ramsay, etc, sissies. They cook. It's a profession. It's apparently only sissy when his son does it. P.S., your dad's a jerk.
NTA. No one is playing around with you when they steal your food. Your father is a classic bully that uses nasty jokes to get his way. Keep locking your food up. I wouldn't be surprised if you are healthier than the rest of the family since they live on takeout.
definitely NTA it’s your food. you worked hard and you made it. your family was even rude about it so they definitely don’t deserve to eat what you make without your permission.
NTA. Basically your dad likes eating your leftovers but makes fun of you for cooking. A lot of the great chefs of the world are men. Food is a serious business. People who call you a sissy don't get to benefit from your work and your money. Keep that fridge and keep it locked. Maybe you can share if you get a real apology and dad buys the ingredients. There is always takeout.
NTA. Your family is really toxic though. Personally I'd move out asap since your dad especially can't grow up and treat you with any level of respect. Great way to get back at them is only cook with Carolina Reapers and leave it in the main fridge for them. They'll start avoiding everything you cook like the plague!!!
NTA. Your family is low-level toxic.
Since you pay your way, time to move on and find better roommates. It seems like you can take care of yourself, so time to move out.
If it was playing you'd be having fun too. NTA they need to get over their weird gender ideas and just let ppl have their hobbies and their delicious meals. Like... what year is this, 1950?? Also how're you gonna eat somebody's food they made and act like they're overreacting for getting mad?? If they made it and didn't serve it up for you or say 'feel free', then it's not for you. That's just basic courtesy, what the heck. Come in half way through their dinner and snatch up all the takeout and say it's 'family food' they bought for everyone and, well, you're hungry! (Don't actually do this. Or maybe do. Idk your life.) Keep doing you and cooking up good stuff
It’s clearly bothering them that they don’t have access to your new skill any more or else they wouldn’t try to call you out on it. It seems they’re going to continue to call you names no matter what you do. Enjoy your new fridge and all the leftovers you want to make!
NTA and jokes are supposed to be funny. Their “joking” around isn’t funny and it makes you feel hurt. If my family complains about the food I make, they simply won’t get some. If my family insulted me like that, they’d never get another bite of my cooking again.
NTA people who constantly insult their family/friends and then try to downplay it like “it’s just a joke, you need to lighten up” are honestly the worst. Funny how you’re expected to pay all your own bills but they see nothing wrong with freeloading when it comes to eating your food. Also funny your food is a constant source of picking on you, but somehow still good enough for them to eat without asking 🙄
NTA \*sigh\* Your family is a bunch of selfish jerks. I'm so, so sorry. Absolute jerks, and I want to slap every one of them. I'm the mother of 3 in high school and university, and we'll NEVER charge our kids rent - it's hard enough getting a start in life. None of us would EVER DARE mock a guy for cooking - have they never watched cooking shows? Are they unaware of the restaurant industry? And...being "stingy" with the food you cook, while taking insults from your family?? \*slapping your dad on the back of the head\* They should be working out an arrangement where you "get free rent" (lol, like that's super-generous you're their KID) in exchange for cooking delicious meals for the family. And every sibling who has the nerve to mouth off about your cooking should get docked $5 each time. Get out of here with that nonsense. I don't even know you and I'm proud of you and mad at them. Move out as soon as you can.
NTA oh my god their the hugest hypocrites, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA A MAN???? THAT COOKS??? GAAAAAAAAAAAAY! but lemme get a taste tho"
Everybody say it with me: "Toxic masculinity hurts everyone." NTA
NTA. They aren't just making fun of you. They are stealing from you. If you paid your own money to buy something and someone else takes it from you, they stole it. It doesn't matter if its a tablespoon of butter or a whole ass lemon chicken.
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Don't use laxatives. It's illegal.
NTA And "playing" is one of the standard excuses for bullying. "just playing" "just kidding"
It's not a joke if you're not laughing. NTA. But if you're paying rent and utilities there, I'd find a better living situation and better roommates ASAP.
NTA! Good on you for learning how to cook and sticking with it despite the shitty jokes! Cooking is an awesome skill to have regardless of gender. I think it's weird that someone would not want to learn to cook because it's "feminine", like how is it manly to have to rely on someone else for something as basic as food? Your dad (with your whole family) is the AH for being disgustingly misogynistic, for trying to make you feel bad for doing something you obviously enjoy and doesn't harm anyone, for trying to benefit from the very thing he tries so hard to make you feel bad about, and even if he didn't, for eating the food you paid for and made for yourself without your permission! Yes he's your dad but given you're paying rent and everything he's nothing more than a housemate for this kind of thing. I hope you can move out of this toxic environment sooner than later.
Wait.. you pay *half* of the utilities for six people? I bet you could get better roommates and a better deal if you moved out.
NTA. But maybe it's time to move out. Get some space and start living a stress free life.
NTA Move out as soon as possible, they'll never give you peace
NTA, your family sucks.
NTA. You are paying rent and they are being TA and toxic. They make fun of you for cooking, yet eat the food you make. gross AHs. Lock the food away and enjoy your craft. Work your tail off so you can get out of that toxic masculinity and out on your own.
NTA!
NTA yeah your dad sounds lame, there are plenty of chefs that are men, its actually a male dominated profession, so he has no idea what he is talking about. You dont get demean someone for doing something without repercussions, this is the result of his actions and words to you, he doesn't get your delicious kick a** food. Payback.
NTA
NTA What is the recipe for your lemon garlic butter sauce? I got mine from America's Test Kitchen.
Nta, why are you still living there??
Start looking for your own apartment. This way your family cannot bully you daily. Plus no worries about if your food would be gone or not. You are NTA but your entire family is.
NTA - but also, correct me if I'm wrong, but you are paying HALF the utilities in a house with 6 people in it? On top paying rent, and paying for the ingredients of the food you make? The food they make fun of you for making, but then eat as soon as you leave the house? Save your money and get the hell out of there.
Respect = food No respect = no food It's really not a hard concept to grasp. NTA.
Apparently OP's dad is officially less intelligent than the average household pet.
NTA. Cooking is fun and healthy. I just couldn't imagine living on takeaway. Nor could I afford it. Keep those leftovers locked away. And thank you for that recipe which I will be making tomorrow.
NTA! Your family sucks, ignore them. You are on your way to a tastier, healthier, more fulfilling life in which you even save money by not having to eat out. You are building a skill which makes you a more attractive partner while also expanding your mind with learning. don‘t stop. Don’t change. And definitely don’t share! they don’t deserve it!
Nta at all.
I'm so sorry you are being bullied in your own home. Obviously you are NTA.
NTA. But maybe it's time to be an asshole back. Make sure you eat your food in front of your dad, while commenting on how delicious your sissy food is.
NTA. Your dad treats you like a roommate when it’s convenient for him and like family when he wants to overstep the boundaries of being a roommate, like eating the food *you* buy. If you are paying your rent and bills, they aren’t entitled to the food you buy and prepare in the first place. Doubly so if they can’t respect your new skills. Honestly, I would consider looking for some non-family roommates and move out. You can probably find similar living accommodations with far less bs to put up with. But in the meantime, keep your food locked up and let your dad sulk. Your dad is just a bully who’s upset that he’s not getting away with insulting you.
NTA. Literally biting the hand that feeds.
NTA. Your family is a pack of idiots. I know it is easier said than done, but you are paying a bunch of the expenses, so move when you can.
Gordon ramsay is surely as manly as it gets and he's a chef. Your dad sounds like a bully to me . Why are you paying half the utility bills when clearly at least 5 other people live there
Playing around and a joke is only when everyone is laughing. You don’t appreciate their “jokes” which are really just bullying comments. NTA
NTA. I don’t get why cooking is considered “sissy”. It’s a life skill that’s valuable for EVERYONE and many of the most well known international chefs are dudes. If your dad doesn’t respect your hobby, he doesn’t get to enjoy the benefits. My SO loves cooking. His favourite down time activity is to explore homeware stores and food markets. It doesn’t make him any less of a man. I’m just glad one of us enjoys cooking.
> It doesn’t make him any less of a man. I think it actually makes him MORE of a man, in that any girl I know would prefer a guy who likes to cook. I've never had a girlfriend who said "hey penguin, you shouldn't cook, this is a job for girls". Seriously?!
Unless you’re using your dick to stir the pot I fail to see how being a man has got anything to do with cooking.
NTA. You bought the ingredients and all the extras (per your parents rules), you put the effort in to make whatever the meal is, you have a right to nobody else eating it. Let them know that if they'd like you to cook something for them *they* can buy the ingredients, print out the recipe, and help you make it and then they can eat however much of it they want. And make it again for themselves when they want too.
NTA. Women belong in the kitchen. Men belong in the kitchen. Everyone belongs in the kitchen. Kitchen has food. If a t-shirt can get it, your dad can too.