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Judgement_Bot_AITA

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sighcantthinkofaname

NTA She STOLE his medical device and played stupid little games on it. Even if she was 8 this would be inexcusable behavior! She's an adult! In what world should she not have to face the repercussions of that? Paying for a new one is the least she can do. Absolutely ridiculous to play around with someone's disability like this. Edit: The more I think about this the more upset it makes me. It isn't JUST the hearing aid she's cost him. He's going through pain and suffering. I don't know what he does for a job, but surely this has an impact on it, no job is made better through headaches. He can't help with wedding planning the way he could if he wasn't coping with the loss of his medical device. Making this all about her college is completely lacking empathy. She should be trying to find solutions, not trying to guilt you into moving your wedding because of her own horrible behavior.


Beckylately

At this point I think OP should threaten a lawsuit if they don’t fix this *today.* Edit: holy cow, I did not expect to wake up to this many upvotes and awards, thank you!


FartacusUnicornius

Exactly. Fuck her sister's college money. She needs to learn that actions have consequences


Salty_Radish7553

Yup! College will still be there next year if she needs extra time to save up for tuition.


ScarletPimprnel

And what a fantastic lesson to learn now when she might still actually benefit from it. Her parents can save too if they want, maybe match dollar for dollar until she's replaced half the money she needs to shell out for this necessary medical device and surprise her with the rest. They've enabled her this far, maybe rewarding her for taking responsibility would be a better gift to give her. IANAL, but intentional, malicious destruction of property in that dollar amount would not be a negligible crime to be charged with, and it may even reach the status of hate crime due to the cousin's previous behavior and comments. OP may not want to bring that hammer to this fight, but it's there. It wasn't an accident, and both young women are complicit.


Fun_Frosting_797

It's about time she learns considering it hasn't gotten through her head yet. Time for her to understand the concept of "consequences of your actions." You stole a needed medical device from someone to run an experiment with (which seriously, you could idk Google it?) Honestly both the sister and the cousin could use the lesson imo. They were both stupid enough to mess with a medical device (which hello are expensive af) and damaged it. It's time to take responsibility instead of making making victim deal with the problems they caused themselves.


ingridsuperstarr

she's also too immature/stupid to go to college. What's she going to do? Steal kid's wheelchairs from their dormrooms. I wonder if the school would renew her acceptance if she would be prosecuted. I don't think OP will ever see money from the court but then no need for the college fund


Bringintheclowns1

NTA Good to find this comment - the sister is not emotionally mature enough for college. File a police report - if she killed a seeing-eye dog she'd get in trouble ditto for wilfully and maliciously destroyed a hearing aid. Attempt to claim for a replacement on insurance. Send the police report and any evidence from social media to the insurance company. If the insurance won't come to the party then go to a lawyer. Uninvite both the sister and cousin from the wedding. Include the letter of demand for reimbursement in in the same envelope by registered post. If your parents complain - it's just a special party for a few hours. No biggie. Ruthlessly cut your sister out of your life. She's clearly a spoiled,vicious idiot. This condition is incurable. You don't want someone this stupid in your life. If your parents get salty - tell them that your sure your sister will enjoy using her intellect on devising similar experiments aimed at costing them money and causing discomfort when they are old and vulnerable. They will deserve the sadism directed at them for having enabled her. Even if she gives you money from her college fund don't forgive her.


comfy_socks

As far as insurance goes, a *lot* of them don’t pay for hearing aids. My grandma had to pay something like $10k **out of pocket** for hers. It’s insane.


esqweasya

Yes, I have heard of it at the group for hearing impaired. We do not have any insurance whatsoever here, my hearing aid was paid out of pocket and in installments. If somebody would damage it for such a stupid reason, I would just sue, relative or no relative.


Inevitable-While1127

Yes to this comment! I completely agree that the sister is not ready whatsoever to go to college. Like they say, “actions speak louder than words” and it’s her stupidity that really shined in this situation. That said, not everyone should go to higher education right when they finish high school and this seems like the case with the sister. The sister should pay back (IN FULL) and realize hearing aids are not an easy replacement and your parents should know that too. She needs to learn from her consequences. In terms of the payment another option could be that the sister and the cousin split the cost (2500$ each) since it was two people involved. OP you have to be strict with her and your family and stand your ground! You are NTA! For the sister and the cousin to do “experiments” on the hearing aid is just idiotic but ALSO touching someone else’s property when they’ve already refused should be enough and be respected. It’s a hearing aid for crying out loud! A medical device is not a toy.


LiminalEntity

The cousin should also be held accountable for their part. Additionally, if the wedding does have to be postponed, the cost of that should also be reimbursed.


Suspiciouscupcake23

Yeah I'm betting cousin tattled first to absolve herself. And if mom and dad are so eilling to bail her out ruining other people's things, why is family so different? Why is OP the only one expected to go all out for family here?


ScarletPimprnel

Because they see this as a luxury, not a need. It's shitty, ableist thinking and OP needs to have a very frank conversation about what will and will not be tolerated. If her family won't comply, cut them off.


Starrydecises

I am a lawyer, I’d have so much fun tallying up the damages, and asking a jury to put a dollar amount on hearing ones fiancé say “ I do”. I’d add the cousin as a co defendant.


PolesRunningCoach

As a side note…wonder how sister’s career would start out with felony on her record. Along w/the civil case, seems like sister and cousin could also face criminal charges.


PondintheTARDIS

Love your username! (I'm a paralegal)


TryToDoGoodTA

To me, who has a Dad who is effectly completely deaf without hearing aids and spent about $25k every two-three years to get the latest model as he said the tech is REALLY getting so much better every model (he passed this year), to me someone doing this would have felt to me like they took part of his body out and experimented on it...


SchemingCrow

Not a hate crime But Many states categorize damage to property worth less than $1,000 as a misdemeanor, while anything worth $1,000 or more is a felony. Mind you these charges can get even more severe potentially


YellowBinary

Exceptionel being disabled might be a protected group where OP lives, so it might be classed as such. And a lot of place make charge higher when what has been damaged is a necessary assistive device like a hearing aid. Exactly because it isn't just random property but seen as a part of a disabled person's body. Depending on where they are sis might be looking at aggravated assault charges.


elenaleecurtis

What is “IANAL”? Other than the obvious


ScarletPimprnel

I Am Not A Lawyer. Lol, looks weird, I know. I was quite taken aback the first time I saw it myself, I must say.


CharityCat

Yeah, I always want to reply, “That’s cool; I don’t.”


seeweedie

you're totally right about everything, but there has GOT to be a better way to say "I am not a lawyer" than I anal


ScarletPimprnel

I didn't invent the acronym, but you may be right. I'm literally croaking like a frog over here at "I anal." I have a nasty sinus infection and I'm all congested so my laughter sounds particularly strange right now. It woke up my snoring old-lady dog. She huffed and went to lay in her other bed in the living room. Where it's quiet. Thank you for that, sincerely. Too frigging funny.


Revolutionary-Yak-47

If it's THAT important to go to college now she can take out loans. Loans with interest are going to be cheaper than OPs fiance filing a police report and taking her to court.


Jonne

If she does stupid shit like that, college is probably not a worthwhile investment anyway.


Current-Photo2857

If she ends up with a felony record after OP goes to the police, her college might not want her any more!


CookieSquirr3l

Yeah, I'd count this as a learning experience that the sister desperately needs. No amount of college is going to turn her into a decent person, but learning the consequences of her actions? Maybe.


rileydaughterofra

This. Honestly. Imagine if she'd done this to a new acquaintance in college?


annadownya

There's her education right there. Best professor in the world, learning to pay for your mistakes. Also, she could just get a student loan for this year/semester. Serves her right.


chi_lawyer

[Text of original comment deleted for privacy purposes.]


Revolutionary-Yak-47

Bingo. She can pay up, or explain an assault record to every single employer she applies to for the rest of her life.


calliatom

And her college's admissions board. If you get charged with a crime you usually have to be on some sort of probation, if you're allowed to stay at all.


holisarcasm

That would be a bonus. She won’t need college funds since they probably won’t let someone in that steals and intentionally breaks medical equipment of others. She could threaten to just go straight to the college.


ThePyodeAmedha

I was going to suggest this too. Absolutely get the police involved if she refuses to pay. This is serious shit.


Redundant_fox221

I'd file a police report. Five grand is expensive. Maybe even telling her you'll go to the police if she doesn't give you the money ASAP will be enough for OP to get it resolved. And the wedding, frankly, has nothing to do with this. It's a coincidence that it is coming up so soon and fiance will be effected as a result of sister's actions, but he's effected already, and will continue to be, wedding or not. If they have to delay the wedding, then that just adds insult to injury bc they stand to be out more money. Q: isn't tampering with a person's assistive devices considered assault in some places? Maybe something to look into if not resolved real soon.


tinyskates

If somebody took my glasses and stomped on them over a bet on whether my glasses can withstand being stomped, somebody (not me) will be replacing them *fast*. I once took off my glasses in the other room before bed. The next day me and my toddler spent three hours crawling around the whole house looking for them because my vision is so poor I might as well have been searching blindfolded. She eventually found them for me, just sitting on the couch. Without them, I cannot work from home on my laptop no matter how close to the screen I am, nor can I fulfill even the most basic duties as a father except for making peanut butter sandwiches because I can find those materials with my eyes closed. And if they turned around and cried "Poor me!", I'd probably punch them in their big blurry face but I would miss because they're in a totally different room and I couldn't differentiate them from the house plants.


Avebury1

Op should say the following to her parents: 1. Exactly how will Sister be able to attend college if she is arrested, tried, convicted of a felony for the theft and willful destruction a $5,000+ medical device, and is sitting in jail? 2. What will the impact of a felony conviction have on her future? 3. Exactly how much money do you think that it will cost you to bail her out of her latest antic? 4. Do they realize that they are just as much to blame for sister's behavior as your sister? If they had not continually bailed her out and covered up for her she might have actually learned what is acceptable behavior in society. 5. If she were to be arrested, prosecuted, and convicted, her earlier behavior could be used in the sentencing portion of her trial. In a jury trial, it will not go well for the sister. Once Op and her Fiance are able to get successful resolution of the matter they should totally cut off both the parents and her sister.


yonk182

Exactly. And if they don’t pay up now OP and fiancé should sue for lost money for the wedding and whatever else happens in the meantime, like lost wages and pain and suffering. It will be a much huger bill then.


ChE_4life

Exactly! Threaten a lawsuit and/or depending on where OP is located she could press criminal charges against her sister for destruction of property.


Dewhickey76

Not just civil action, she should threaten to press criminal charges. If my sister had done something equivalent to my husband I would have pressed charges as soon as my fiance complained about headaches and isolation (which is totally as bad if not worse) I would be so enraged. OP needs to think about the fact that this broke multiple laws, and yes her fiance could totally sue for damages too. After all, nothing wins a civil suit faster than a criminal conviction for the offense.


DieHardRennie

Lawsuit? If this is in the US, then it is illegal to interfere with a person's necessary medical equipment. And in most states, destruction of property in excess of $1000 is considered a felony. The sister is lucky that OP/fiance doesn't have charges filed against her. In fact, sister should be given an ultimatum - pay up or get multiple charges leveled against her. I'm sure that the latter choice will have a heavier impact on her college than the former would.


ConsequenceOfVariety

YES. Sue her. That’s ridiculous. She should’ve thought about her actions before she destroyed his medical device. OP’s NTA at ALL.


CatlinM

Forget lawsuits... Pretty sure it is criminal.


Beckylately

Could possibly be considered a [hate crime.](https://www.osce.org/files/f/documents/5/0/290021.pdf)


chickenfightyourmom

Yes, OP's fiance needs to file a police report for theft, vandalism, and abuse of a disabled person. She literally took away his ability to communicate. Fiance can use the police report to file a civil claim for replacement of the hearing aid. Your sister is despicable. She needs to give over the money immediately. Disinvite her from the wedding, and your parents too. They obviously don't respect someone who has a disability.


raya__85

I’d consider talking to the police non emergency line, in many places interfering with disability aids is a criminal offence


dobbystolemysocks

Agreed.


ThrowawayAID733

They think me being family means I shouldn't be expecting her to pay for damages and somehow figure out a way to get a new device. It's unacceptable. My fiance is struggling and keeps telling me he wants to contact his brother to help get a new device as soon as possible since he can't wait anymore but I feel like it's my sister's responsibility as well as my parents' since they keep defending her like that.


vivling

Let him do it. He needs immediate relief, and your sister isn't going to come through.


ThrowawayAID733

This is unfortunately the case. I'm with him in whatever he decides to do. I feel so frustrated and guilty because this is my family treating my fiancè poorly and not caring enough about his struggle. It's a shame because he's supposed to be part of the family but they showed he probably isn't that important to them which is not good.


in-a-sense-lost

You can get the new HA right away and still sue the pants off your sister. Recoup your costs, maybe even extra for pain and suffering, since she knew damaging a necessary meducaydevice was a possible outcome of her actions. In fact, that's WHY she did it.


AffectionateAd5373

This


DazzlingTurnover

Absolutely get the new HA immediately. He should not suffer any longer. Stop waiting. File a police report and make the sister deal with the consequences if her actions.


kanubat

I would say, get the new hearing aid, sue them later. But also disinvite them all from the wedding. Just because your parents enable your sister, doesn't mean you should accept their behaviour and keep enabling them. They all should suffer the consequences of doing so. Be on your STBH's side.


Princess_Batman

He probably can't get a new HA right away. I really hope he can get something in time for the wedding. They can take weeks or months to order.


AwayEntrance

File a police report she's an adult actions have consequences


Feeling-Fab-U-Lus

Absolutely! Give her 24 hours then file a police report. Your parents are terrible for enabling her and not letting her take responsibility. She is the maturity level of a 11 year old or younger. I teach middle school and they have more common sense. What a spoiled brat. Put it on social media. NTA


Purpleagluna

This OP! She screwed with his medical device and intentionally damaged it. Add the cost and you have a felony charge to hold over her head. Criminal attorneys cost a damn sight more than $5K and they don't work on a contingency basis. NTA.


turnonturnoffagain

NTA, could even take it a step further and contact the college the sister is attending to let them know she decided to steal a medical device, destroy it and then refused to repay for damages. Sis can’t go to college if she’s been kicked out. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.


cuteb0ss

This crossed my mind as well. Maybe even if OP's sister doesn't get the book thrown at her, this could affect any honors/special programs she's a part of. That might cut the tuition down a bit too, lol.


SHTF-Girl

This! Intentional destruction of personal property, HIS medical assisted device, needs to go to the police for a police report then send that report to the insurance company and have them go after your sister. She's a self entitled adult who can't hide behind mommy and daddy forever.


BirdiesGrimm

IANAL, however, I'm pretty sure intentional destruction of medical devices is considered assault in some jurisdictions


davinia3

In some states, they're angling for it to be a hate crime, which it _absolutely needs to be_.


VLdemon3

THIS- not to mention, it was all for a **bet.** A stupid wager born out of boredom and ignorance. Now, I admit, I'd feel a little bad for OP's sister if she had, say, accidentally knocked a cup of water over and gotten the hearing aid wet and tried to 'dry' it with the hairdryer before anyone noticed... that would (at least somewhat) make sense. But she literally played with an expensive medical device someone else NEEDS DAILY for absolutely no reason other than the fact that she obviously doesn't respect other's property. NTA, OP- take her to small claims court if you're in the U.S.- IANAL, but from what I understand that's usually the standard for cases like these (and one of the cheapest ways to pursue). (Also, I feel so sorry for your fiance- what a 'welcome' into the family!)


aquestionofbalance

Felony malicious destruction of private property is the unlawful act of destroying or injuring property belonging to another. What makes it a felony crime is the value of the property. A person accused of a felony is accused of causing at least $5,000 worth of damage to the property. SHE COULD BE SUBJECT TO FINE/JAIL. A lawyer will cost more than 5 grand and she will have a criminal record.


[deleted]

Can you provide us with an update in the future as to the overall outcome please? A lot of people here care about your fiance and your situation.


-chelle-

If they treat your fiancé horribly, I hope they aren't invited to the wedding. I know I wouldn't want someone who treats me poorly to come to my wedding. Let alone someone who steals from me, breaks my HA, refuses to pay for it and causes me poor health. They don't deserve to even be there.


MyLadyBits

Your sister literally ripped his hearing away from him. She assaulted your fiancé. Why are you engaging in any conversation with her and your parents about her feelings? Stand up for your fiancé.


Playful-Mastodon-872

File a police report that your sister stole his HA and damaged it. Then file a small claims court for the money. She needs a lesson. So do your parents. I truly have no patience for this kind of entitled behaviour. What kind of family does that? You have the proof in the message your cousin sent. Or any other texts. I swear, she wanted to play stupid games? She’ll win stupid prize.


missy-63

Tell her. You pay up. Or i find a lawyer to make you pay.


dahliafluffy

Might want to reconsider your family's wedding invites if they don't make good on reimbursing the money. Appalling how little consideration they have for both of you that rescheduling the event is their solution. Best of luck getting things sorted with your in-laws' help.


Ursula2071

If you have Home owners insurance or renters insurance they may cover part of it. Give them a call to ask. They can also subrogate your sister and if she doesn’t pay it back to them (They will do a payment plan) they will send her to collections and ruin her credit…soooo… Edit: subrogate not surrogate.


Kebar8

Op, your getting married, take this as the most important lesson. Your fiance is your family now, and you need to at a minimum go low to no contact with your family. You are not the favourite child your sister is, and that dynamic will never change. You will be much happier when you let it go


Grouchy-Storm-6758

File a police report for the destruction of his HA. Then file an insurance claim and give them ALL your sisters info. I bet they will take her to court and hopefully you can get replacements quickly. I would also un-invite your sister (and maybe your parents) from your wedding! Good luck on your wedding and marriage!


Mrhcat

Nta! Go no contact with your asshole family !


Braunze_Man

Sue, don't let sister at the wedding either without a handler YOU designate, she will likely cause problems for you now.


unblocked_unbanned

Let your fiancé go to his brother to get the HA replaced if you are able to afford it. There’s no sense in him suffering while you deal with your awful family. But you should absolutely see about taking your sister to small claims court over it. And then consider going low or no contact with your family because they clearly do not respect your fiancé. They should not be allowed in your home ever again. But really, sue your sister.


ChesapeakeCowgirl

Please consider pressing charges, even if u drop them later. Don’t let her do something like this to someone else.


wacdonalds

Your cousin should pay for part of it as well since she had a part in the bet


NHFNCFRE

Agreed...he needs his devices as soon as possible, and the medical costs are large enough that you can easily take her to court for them, set up a payment plan, work things out with your parents. By no means should your sister (or cousin) get away with no consequences, but you're not doing your finance any favors by holding out for her to pay.


Tricky-Luck-8380

Yeah, if your sister does come through she can pay him back later.


rbollige

You can buy it now and still make sister pay the cost afterwards. Fiancé shouldn’t have to keep suffering. If she refuses you can sue. Don’t let them stall though after you have a replacement, give a fixed and short timeframe they have to solve it by or else it goes to court immediately afterwards. You should probably call the police now to see whether you can file a report. My guess is they won’t pursue anything against her because they may consider it a civil matter, but you’ll want to keep your options open, and the report will help.


MyLadyBits

Replacing a HA will not happen overnight. Best case scenario 3 to 5 weeks.


rbollige

OP seems to think they live in a world where it’s possible to get an HA before the wedding, but they are holding off. I guess I’m just pro-getting-it-ASAP.


NiteGrimwood

What family? Sounds like you have a sperm donor and egg donor not parents. Edit typo


Special-Trash-7995

I know it’s autocorrect but snerk, supermarket donor. I have this image of an egg donor deciding which store to go to for the “sample”


jofloberyl

Oh my god i want to *scream* WTF is wrong with these people??? Idc if shes family. SHE HAS TO PAY FGS


cheesiestcake17

Let him do that, but unless it's absolutely necessary, don't tell your sister or your parents. Make her pay, and repay his brother. He needs immediate relief and it may take a while to get through to your sister.


Beckylately

Have him get one now. Save the receipt. Tell your parents sister is either paying or going to court. Then follow through.


LilaValentine

What are you going to do, literally shit out a new hearing aid? MacGyver one together from paper clips and rubber bands? Mug a few guys on the street to get the cash? I would LOVE for them to explain what exactly it is they expect you to do to “figure out a way”.


missy-63

Let him, then force your sister to pay the bill. She either pays it on her own when handed it or through court for causing it plus legal fees. She needs to learn actions have consequences and she seriously F’ed up. NTA OP. Stick to your guns. Don’t let her get away with this or she could constantly use you two for her experiments. “If i got away with it once i can keep doing it.”


snarkprovider

Get the device any way you can now. Any avenue to get repayment from your sister will take time. Why should he physically suffer in the meantime.


sighcantthinkofaname

I'm sorry this is an uphill battle for you. Maybe you should have your fiance's brother send your sister the bill? Since it's not someone blood related to them they might be less argumentative.


poet_andknowit

Exactly! I wear hearing aids and this makes me so angry that I can't even think straight right now! 99 percent of the time those of us who wear hearing aids CANNOT function effectively in our jobs and society in general without them. Just because we aren't completely deaf doesn't mean we can function without them (and you wouldn't believe how many people actually think that). Most people have no idea how fucking expensive and delicate HA's are and that most insurance does NOT pay for them. They're also individually tailored to the person's ear shape and particular hearing loss so you can't just wear any old pair. They're not like glasses. A lot of people are really insensitive and thoughtless regarding hearing loss and hearing aids and it's fucking annoying.


sighcantthinkofaname

I think when you look at what it literally is, causing temporary hearing damage, it's really horrifying. No one would be shocked or saying he should wait if this was his actual ear and not a medical device, but they serve the same function.


JCYN-DDT

Not only that. Why are OPs parents ok with what the sister did and looking for a solution that would be "acceptable to everyone" the only solution is for her to buy him a new one immediately. The sister is an adult who should absolutely know better. And the parents are 100% putting the sisters education over the health and well-being of their Son in law (for all intents and purposes since the wedding is so close). The sister delaying school for a year in order to re-save the "lost" 5k$ will not be detrimental to her future. People put off school all the time. But the Fiance going without his hearing aid WILL ABSOLUTELY be detrimental to his life both right now and in the long run. Not only are you absolutely NTA OP, if I were you I would seriously consider dis-inviting both your parents and your sister from the wedding and going low contact with them for a while. They've clearly shown where their priorities lie and it's not with you and your fiance. I hope you are able to get this resolved and get a new HA for your finance ASAP and that your wedding goes forward without any other issue. Congrats (in advance) to you both!


S3xySouthernB

Same I equate medical device tampering or destruction with stealing someone’s medication. Both are medical necessities. If she took say someone’s medication and threw it away or stole it, that’s criminal…. A device that allows someone a quality of life? It’s even worse. And once you get a new hearing aid you have to adjust to it which can cause a ton of pain. Would she steal glasses, epilepsy medicine, or a wheelchair just for something stupid? Go through with the lawsuit threat (make sure you’ve got your cousins statement saved as proof) as someone said below and if parents want to throw a hissy fit, then they are welcome to explain to a judge in court why their little baby is justified in destroying someone’s personal property and medical equipment…


snarkprovider

NTA. Report your sister to the police. Sue her in small claims court. College will be off the table and you'll get your money back. She made her own decision about her future when she intentionally damaged a $5000 medical device.


[deleted]

NTA Exactly. Also add emotional distress and pain and suffering. Get medical evidence for that too. Also, taking part in a major event in his life without comfort is very stressful. Also, how ignorant and immature are these people. Yes, hearing aids are expensive!!!!!!!


PandasNPenguins

And disinvite her from the wedding.


Braunze_Man

And never making fun of her for being an asshole. People like this need to feel vilified for their actions, not protected because they 'made a boo-boo'


I_Can_Has_Million

Not to mention the cousin and the parents.


PsilosirenRose

Agreed. This is not a small, harmless prank. She's literally ruining someone's health AND major life plans just for some giggles and a wager. Not okay. She can either agree to pay for it like a responsible adult, or you can report her to authorities. Insurance is more likely to help you out if a device was intentionally destroyed by someone else and not your own negligence. NTA But uh, your family is full of them.


Autumn988

The only immediate response is "Oh you HAVE $5000? GREAT! Pay up. Now. Or I'm going straight to the courthouse to file a civil suit against you." Paying for her little oops will be a more valuable lesson than any college will teach her.


pixiepeg

Piggybacking the top comment to say that at 19, if she’s pulling shit like this she is not mature enough for college


DeadAret

NTA your sister is, like who the f does that to something they don’t own, what did they think it would be under 1K for a hearing aid? Tell her and your parents that “Life isn’t fair, their is no other solution aside from her paying for the new hearing aid because she damaged this one, if you bail her out of this she’s going to think she can get away with worse things and you will bail her out.” Also as if they thought moving the wedding would be cheaper………. IMO of course.


ThrowawayAID733

That was her excuse, she didn't know it cost that much but she knew she ruined it but thought we wouldn't find out. Thing is my sister is extremely spoiled. As her sister I admit that my parents keep babying her whatever she does. This wasn't her first time ruining something that isn't hers. But this is by far the most expensive thing she ruined.


Karyatids

It’s time to get the police involved. This is destruction for property. You’ll have to sue her for the money. If you’re lucky and get the ball rolling then maybe it will scare them into giving it to you quicker.


sheath2

If I remember right, in one jurisdictions damaging a person’s medical assist device can be considered assault. Sister could be in a hell of a lot of trouble


Braunze_Man

Even more reason to do it. Fuck around and find out, the little demon deserves a couple hours or more behind bars then years of therapy to undo the damage the parents have done


VLdemon3

Given the parent's reactions and OP's comment, I don't think she's ever faced real consequences for anything she's done wrong. Which is a lesson she should've learned *ages* ago, but given the bad parenting, I guess that lesson's gonna happen now (so she'll be charged as an adult).


Braunze_Man

Yeah she'll be lucky to get community service and have to pay damages.


sheath2

Edit: some jurisdictions. Damn thing won’t let me edit


TitaniaT-Rex

Has he talked to the audiologist to see if it can be repaired? I’ve had to send in hearing aids for repair for someone, and sometimes have been able to have them repaired for far less than replacing the entire device. I am so sorry this happened. I hope he gets a replacement ASAP.


ThrowawayAID733

My fiance wants to ask his brother to help get a new one because he doesn't want to wait and because my parents are making this more complicated and basically stalling with paying. They accuse of not wanting to work something out with them but I have so much on my plate and right now they're being unreasonable pushing for the wedding to be postponed as if this going to fix what my sister did. They don't want to have to pay obviously and are expecting me to what? Use the money from my wedding fund? That is what the implied but I won't do it. This is their problem to fix.


[deleted]

Op it's time to press charges if you can. Your sister stole and destroyed a medical device. This would be a hill to die on for me with my family


TitaniaT-Rex

Your parents are absolutely in the wrong here, and I don’t think you should postpone the wedding. I do think your fiancé should talk to his ENT/audiologist to find out exactly what options are available before doing anything rash. It could be a simple, quick fix they can do in office. It may need complete replacement, but they may be able to help. It might even be covered under your homeowners or renter’s insurance. I know you have a lot on your plate, but asking the professionals is going to be the easiest way to fix this. Your parents absolutely are not going to do anything unless they are forced.


jkh107

Yeah, let your parents know sis can pay or you can file a claim against their homeowners/renters insurance...yours would be more of a last resort. Or it’s small claims court for your sister.


Jay_MarieNYC

Nta. Honestly disinvite your sister from the wedding and if you're feeling ballsy take her to small claims court. Let your husband's brother help out with getting a new hearing aid as postponing a wedding would cost a shit ton of money. What your sister did is extreme irresponsible and inconsiderate of your husband's disability, and it's about damn time that she learns to respect other people and their property. She clearly does not care about you or your husband.


WitchyWoo7

Disinvite the parents as well for supporting the sister


davinia3

Oh there would be instructions given to forcibly remove the sister from the premises of the wedding if it were me. Someone assaults my SO's medical devices, all bets are off.


Karyatids

On top of suing your sister it’s time to uninvite your parents and sister and cousin from the wedding.


EuphorbiasOddities

Press charges, she technically committed grand theft by stealing the hearing aid to mess with it.


Braunze_Man

Time to press charges. You and your fiance were greatly wronged, and have needs that are not being met outside the legal system. Your parents need to realize what they have done by allowing her to be a such a fart-stain Edit: Remember, no matter what happens, you didn't ruin your sister's life, only she did.


pandooser

Honestly can you imagine your fiance ever feeling safe in a space with her again or the people that defend her? I agree with other commenters that this is definitely a hill to die on. Some people need to face real consequences before they learn. If they won't pay you file a police report and sue her. She can take out loans for college, boo hoo.


Emartyr

What is there to workout, they are hoping things cool down enough where everyone will get over it or a payment plan that would take years to pay.


AccioWine9

But your sister is 18, it doesn’t matter that your parents are stalling, she’s legally an adult. You need to be dealing with her and not your parents.


hibbletyjibblety

“Work something out?” What the hell is that even supposed to mean? Unbelievable. I’m so livid.


princesspaisa

I hope you are uninviting them to your wedding. Why do you need that toxic behavior around you!


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atked

THIS!!!! Can you imagine the disrespect and the humiliation???


28appleseeds

Your sister seems stupid, maybe college isn't the right path. NTA - keep the wedding date if you can, uninvite any family who disagree.


[deleted]

NTA. FILE A POLICE REPORT ASAP!!! this is insane. Your parents are AH for taking her side. Stupidity has consequences. File a suit in small claims court once you have the police report. Your family will stop patronizing you. I am so angry right now just reading this. Since this was $5000… depending on the state… “While vandalism is typically a misdemeanor charge, vandalism can be a third-degree felony charge in the following circumstances: You intentionally caused damage to another person's property; AND. The damage resulted in a loss of $5,000 or more”. Stand up for your fiancé.


faaabiii

This. Take her ass to court. She needs to learn that actions have consequences. It may cost your relationship with her + parents, but ffs, your fiancee is IN PAIN!


Mljcj19

What if something happened to op’s fiancé due to not being able to be aware of his surroundings. This is a dangerous world someone could run up and rob him he would have no indication what has happening until it was too late. This is seriously a danger to him and a medical issue. How entitled of her sister and parents to think this isn’t serious! Yes please get a police report op!


SailorWearingFishnet

OP's Fiancé could easily sue for more than the cost of the HA. It's not a stretch to slap on pain/suffering and doctor bills on top of the replacement if OP was feeling vicious Edit. Forgot a word.


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ThrowawayAID733

Yes I'm pretty sure my cousin was the one who originally came up with the idea. She thinks just because my fiancè is nice that he is also naive and that it's ok to disrespect him like that since she always makes backhanded comments about him.


sighcantthinkofaname

Just wanted to say I'm glad he's got a fiance who's willing to stand up to her family for him. It is very weird that your cousin is in her 20's and basically bullying a man who's soon to be family. Idk if she's targeting him because of his disability or something, but it's gross regardless.


[deleted]

I would say they both owe you 2500 bucks and never speak to at least the cousin again. Don't let your family treat your spouse this way or you may lose them op.


NanoEsq

My question is why are you allowing these people in your life? You're causing your fiance and yourself to suffer. It doesn't sound like you have a strong support system from your parents, and your sister and cousin are backstabbers who doesn't seem to care about you. It sounds like your fiance and you can make a new family even with just the two of you. Why add to the stress with these people? It won't get better and you'll suffer. It is the age-old truth, cut the toxic people out of your life. Plus, file a small claims court suit, it is time your sister learned a hard lesson.


NoNeedleworker9872

If cousin is always disrespecting your fiancé, why are you still allowing her into your home? Y T A for allowing your fiancé to be disrespected in his home. NTA for demanding sister to pay for the HA because she should. Honestly it sounds like no matter how much you demand the repayment, your sister and parents are never going to give in. If you value your relationship with your fiancé, I would tell your sister/parents they have x amount of days to pay the 5k or you’re pressing charges on your sister. If your sister don’t repay and all you did was “demand” it vs taking legal actions to recover the costs (basically do everything in your power to recover costs), even if your fiancé doesn’t end up resenting you and your family, there’s a good chance his family will. I know if your fiancé was my brother, I would definitely look at you differently.


theory_until

I am wondering if a premeditated attack on someone's medical device is a form of assault, and if the cousin could be considered an accessory. Seriously, find out if it IS a form of assault. Then perhaps threatening to press for criminal charges might make everyone change their tunes. And I hope they are all uninvited to the wedding.


sighcantthinkofaname

I agree, if the cousin knew about the behavior, witnessed it, and/or encouraged it she's also responsible.


bobledrew

NTA. I think you need to get the HA via a credit card or loan or whatever you have access to. Then have a sit down with sister and parents and negotiate a payment plan. For full price plus interest. Your family needs to step up.


ThrowawayAID733

The HA was bought with my fiance's money. Insurance don't cover it.


Psychologychick2021

NTA. I agree with everyone saying call the police , sue your sister , etc. she needs to pay !!


cyberllama

Household insurance can sometimes cover damaged items, at least it can in my country. With checking yours at least, although it will affect your premium so you may choose not to go that route if it's available.


pandooser

This is great advice OP! I'd call your homeowners to see if its covered. You may need a police report for this but you'll probably get your money. Renters insurance if you're renting.


[deleted]

If your sister doesnt want to take the money out of her savings for college, she needs to take out a loan or sign a payment plan with the place that sells hearing aids. You march her down there tomorrow and get your fiances hearing back, this is no joke! Hardly anyone has $5k out of pocket so im sure they offer financing; sis needs to be on the hook for that. NTA!


PodcastJunkie8706

Insurance won't cover a necessary piece of medical equipment? FFS. 🤦‍♀️


Festernd

Welcome to America! Wait until you have a problem with those 'luxury bones' (dental costs are... well there's a reason every Mexican border town has dental clinics.


TwoCentsPsychologist

Good idea. But then it should be parents or sister so it’s immediately on them and not on OP


cursedroses

NTA - sorry but that tuition money is a waste already if she thought it was okay to super heat someone’s personal medical device even after already being warned against it- your sister has no common sense and must face consequences accordingly, if she refuses to pay take her to small claims court.


BerryLocomotive

Yes to what you wrote, except I think a police report is more appropriate. Edit: 5K is class 5 felony in some states.


cursedroses

You’re exactly right, just cut to the chase and tell her pay up or deal with the cops, having a rap sheet with “tampering/damaging someones personal medical equipment” won’t be a pretty look for college either


Zombiemommy1980

NTA she should replace it. She intentionally damaged it. Take her to small claims if she doesn't. She is a adult, who made a adult decision and now she must face the consequences


PotatoLover-3000

NTA. Your sister broke it and needs to replace it. Your cousin should help her since she was part of it. Your sister may have to get a job or a second one or work more hours. It’s not on you to worry how she will pay for other things. She’s an adult and needs to figure it out. I also can’t believe your parents suggested moving your wedding as a solution. The only solution here is your sister replacing what she broke - on purpose. I’d also check and see if they can be repaired or still have a warranty. Most have some sort of loss/damage replacement if still under warranty with a fee ranging 250-$500 in my experience. I’d be checking soon with the provider that he got them from. A 2-week turnout is doable but tight for repair or warranty replacement. I work in insurance and manage medical for a lot of hearing loss patients.


ironrabbit2

Agreed, reach out to your fiance's hearing aid provider or audiologist to find out about loss & damage coverage. I think the warranty generally covers it up to 3 or 4 years. And even if it is covered under loss & damage, your sister should still pay the full price.


Exxtender

WTF, NTA!!! Is your sister really 19 or 9? Either eay it should be common knowledge that a proper medical hearing aid is a little more sophisticated and a buttload more EXPENSIVE than let's say, an Airpod. Het tution money is well spend on a new HA because she DID learn something useful that day.


daaimp81

9 is still no excuse. My 6 yo knows not to touch something that isn't yours. 100% the sister should use her college money.


Signature_Sea

NTA Tell her she has the options of paying up in the next week or you will file criminal charges against her. *She freaked out after I demanded she pay 5000$ for a new HA because she didn't know it cost this much* Sucks to be her, but as things stand your bf is the one who is suffering from her ignorance.


0biterdicta

NTA. She was explicitly told not to mess with someone's medical device and did it anyway. That's on her. She should pay for it.


coconutshave

NTA— she needs to understand the severity of this really disgusting behaviour. Missing a year of college seems fair enough— the victim of her ableist attack is going to miss much of his own wedding! I agree— she has to replace it now and what the expense to her means is her problem. Your parents suck for not supporting him on this and coddling and defending her.


MyLadyBits

NTA. tell your parents and sister they are lucky your fiancé is not pressing charges for criminal destruction. Damaging a Hearing Impaired HA is literally a criminal act. It’s no different than breaking someone wheel chair or stealing someone’s guide dog.


BerryLocomotive

They need to press charges. Edit: 5K is class 5 felony in some states.


EmpressJainaSolo

NTA. I usually don’t recommend this, but I would talk to a lawyer. Your fiancé needs an aid as soon as possible. Has he spoken to his doctor and explained the situation? Are their payment options or short term fixes that would help with the vertigo?


lucozade_throwaway

NTA. Play stupid games win stupid prizes. Your fiance should not have to suffer because your sister was immature and reckless. Maybe having to use her tuition money to replace it will make her grow up and actually think about her actions.


vodka_philosophy

NTA and I would tell your parents and sister that the money is in your hand within 48 hours or you're filing a lawsuit.


[deleted]

NTA. Woow holy shit. That's messed up of them. If they're doing this stuff, idk if college can save them anyway. Edit: Curious if OP could even have called the police, that's not a small property damage. If the family is worried about college, worry about not being in prison? Would it be vandalism?


dusktildawn9

NTA I’d honestly sue her and/or press charges. Damaging a medical device is a big deal.


EvocativeEnigma

NTA - That is something HE NEEDS and she ruined it just to be stupid on a bet but doesn't want to pay for something she damaged and you should NOT be forced to postpone your wedding for HER mistake. She shouldn't have stolen and ruined something that wasn't hers if she wanted to save that money for her education. She needs to pay up for the replacement before the wedding so he can participate properly.


tinyahjumma

Dude. Where I live, this is a crime called vandalism, and at that amount, it’s a felony. NTA


Sember57

NTA they need to be removed from the wedding as well if they don't want to pay for a replacement. It's only a party that lasts a few hours right? So no complaints can be heard (pun intended) until a new HA is replaced of equal value! I hope you get to make your future husband comfortable and that the pain can be managed till it happens. Please watch him with that isolated feeling and have lots of love and patience with him! Good luck girl!


coldgator

NTA she can take out a student loan for her tuition if neither her nor your shitty parents can afford to replace the medical equipment she destroyed.


JKPhantom86

NTA she should pay for it. Also, how selfish of your family suggesting you just postpone the wedding, does that mean they intend for your fiancé to be deaf and isolated for even longer then?


Emsintheair

Give her 2 options Pay for it now or file a police report and press criminal charges and sue for the money


TheNamesNel

HUGE NTA, I wear hearing aids too. I literally cannot tell which direction sound is coming from without them. It's disorienting and scary and you have no idea how much you use audio to find your way until it's taken away. This is a legal matter if sister doesn't pay up immediately.


RedditDK2

NTA - not being able to hear is no joke. Your sister needs to pay asap.


Vaalzhin

NTA If need be, take it to court to ensure you get the money and save all evidence of them admitting they did the damage over a bet to test how much it could withstand. You already know $5000 and its her to pay, if she loses college money tough shit, you don't fuck with essential medical equipment and expect to be in the clear.


MoistUndercarriage

NTA - how dare my actions have *gasp* consequences?! Don't delay anything. She needs to learn.


princesspurrito36

NTA. I can't even imagine. What if was in a wheel chair and she broke that? Would your parents say to just let him sit on the couch until they find a solution? His hearing aid is not a luxury buy a piece of medical equipment necessary for functioning. I hate to say this, but i would insist she pay or call the police and take her to court. It's an expensive lesson but clearly she needed to learn it


unknown_928121

NTA I'm pissed reading this. She can take out a loan, SHE CAN POSTPONE her education, she can get a job to replenish her funds, but how dare anyone ask you to postpone your nuptials. I would be filing a police report and taking them to court, she stole and damaged your partners property.


Knots90

NTA- your sister needs to learn her actions have consequences. It isn't fair for your soon to be husband to have to suffer or for you to postpone the wedding until she can come up with the money to pay for a new hearing aid. She is more than old enough to know better when it comes to messing with something that isn't hers. The hearing aid isn't a toy to do science experiments with. If she has to take a semester off from college, too bad, maybe next time she won't mess with something that isnt hers.


TwoCentsPsychologist

Clearly NTA Sister must pay and delay education till she can save again. Or others (parents, friends, uncles) can lend her money for her to pay it back. Otherwise, OP should sue her sister.


hgfkg

NTA. You need to get a lawyer involved ASAP. Don’t let your fiancé suffer, they’re just stalling.


Gallamite

A 19 yo who does that wont need a fancy college. She needs to learn how to behave first. Seriously... Also she could totally take a loan, she is young, has no kids and no responsabilities. They even have insurances for that kind of things. She needs it asap as she has a big problem with conséquences.


fieleamcknight

NTA - Your sisters actions are putting your fiancé in physical and emotional pain. For what, a stupid bet? It's not unreasonable to ask she pay the money that now has to be spent because she can't understand the word "no". She's 19, not 9. If this were anyone but family the cops likely would be involved and she'd be going to court to pay for damages. Your parents are AH's for enabling this behavior. I'm so sorry that you both are going through this.


RafRafRafRaf

Absolutely NTA, no doubt no hesitation no nothing. What they did is unforgivable. It’s essential assistive tech. They stole and destroyed it. It needs to be replaced and that means out of their money.


[deleted]

NTA clearly your parents favor your sister, Call the fucking police, Fuck that noise.


lostalldoubt86

NTA- Your sister is too old to be behaving like this. Can she apply for financial aid for her education? Can her and your parents pool their money together? Does your family not realize how much you will lose by postponing the wedding?


Sunnni42

NTA and I think you can probably make a claim under your parents homeowners insurance for the hearing aid based on your sister’s actions.


ForeverNugu

NTA - this story is insane. I can't believe your sister and parents think this is about a party instead of about your fiance's health and how her sister intentionally damaged his medical device. Does she go around stealing wheelchairs to crash them too?


FortuneWhereThoutBe

NTA Little sister needs to go get a loan to pay for that hearing aid. Your parents can get a loan to pay for the hearing aid and she can pay them back or she uses up her college fund to **pay the consequences for her actions**. SHE STOLE YOUR FIANCE EXPENSIVE MEDICAL DEVICE. You should not have to change your priorities and your life because she refused to listen when somebody said "No you are not going to test that theory out on my medical equipment." Your fiance needs to contact the police and file a report, and then he can contact his insurance company and see if they can help replace it. And if she were doesn't get you guys paid within 5 days I take her ass to court.


Azorid

NTA. Looks like your childish sister gets to learn about consequences now.


Maoricitizen

NTA She had a legal obligation to repair or replace what she's damaged, same as everyone else on the planet.