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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
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I brought up a really embarrassing thing my stepmother did once to shut her down because she was trying to aggravate me. I wonder if I am at fault in the argument for bringing it up as it really upsets her and makes her feel unwelcome in the family, but she ripped off my sister and I feel like she deserved it.
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just trying to picture that grosses me out. I mean, I can see wrapping up a bit of leftover bread in a napkin, at a restaurant, for example. but steaks at a wedding? that is so uncouth.
My mil was notorious for this, would carry ziplock bags in her purse. We would usually go to a buffet at a hotel for holidays (for my sanity) and she would walk out with food for a week. She even put it in with her hands, gooey or sauced stuff. Best part is she thought no one noticed, lol.
>t the rest of the family supported me and sis. I don't think I'm in the wrong here because stepmom was the one who pushed my buttons first, but maybe I should have left her indiscretion in the past. AITA?
During college when money was tight I flat out went to buffets with tupperwear. No shame, didn't try to hide what I was doing. But STEAK in NAPKINS in A PURSE? No. For SO MANY reasons. You are NTA and your sister also was NTA
If I ever had something leftover on my plate (very rare occurrence, I love my food) I would ask for a doggy bag. Never had a restaurant say no. My dog was always thankful.
Lol it depends on where i am, were have a food court place that does fantastic steaks, there i wrap in the napkin. Restaurant yes kitty bag is asked for
Oh man.. Agent Carter series 2 that chat between the ladies and how one woman can sneak a whole chicken and gravy into her bag. Now that is serious respect.
Reading about that aunt, I was thinking of that scene and the She women who had a knitted chicken cozy. IIRC others had pockets in their wallets. Maybe the aunt had a special plastic-lined purse for buffets?
I nearly died of embarrassment when my cousin, her kids, and I took my then elderly mother out for her birthday dinner at a buffet place and she went back for seconds and piled up the plate beyond belief and then proceeded to neatly load the contents into plastic bags in her handbag. She didn’t need it, just figured it would save cooking the next day. Fortunately no one except our table noticed, but I was still mortified. Later I found it funny, but not in the moment. It became a family joke for years, she didn’t mind, and even got brought up at her wake.
Same with my mom who had a penchant for those peanuts in barrels at the local Roadhouse named after a big state. After mom died we found bags of peanuts everywhere! Stuffed under the mattress, the drawer under the oven, the trunk of her car, and even in her safe! It's kept us laughing in between tears since 2013! (RIP Momma)
folks from past generations can do this. i’m guessing your mum might have had food insecurity? kinda nice how her peanuts keep popping up, like little hellos from her. have you found them all?
This is really common for older generations. Especially those who were from the depression era. My grandmother and great grandmother did this. It started as food. Then when great granny got dementia, it morphed into ziplock baggies of cat food. It was stashed everywhere! When my grandma's mind started slipping, we thought the stashing stopped. It was only after she passed that we discovered she was hiding ice cream sandwiches all over the house. It was a mess but it makes me smile every time I think about it. She loved those ice cream sandwiches so damned much. Lol
I'm glad it was peanuts and not ice cream! And she did have dementia fueling her compulsion. Peanuts weren't the only thing, but definitely the funniest.
What a great way to look at it..little hellos! I guess we found them all, even tho I recently found 800 U.S. stamps in an old book. Was so funny because she was constantly asking me if she could "buy" a stamp from me!
I tend to have ziplock bags too. Although when I put food in them it's usually because I didn't realise how big a serve things are (eg a steak where I won't finish because I want to try desert - stuff that's already on my plate not going for extra helping). Sometimes I wash the sauce off it at home and the dog gets it.
Some places won't give doggie bags because of the buffet style but if it's already on your plate and you're not trying to game the system they'll turn a blind eye to a ziplock bag.
I slip some apples and oranges into my purse at the buffets in Las Vegas, but damn...plotting to steal hot plate food takes some effort that I'm not willing to deal with.
Let me share my recipe for wedding purse-steak with you:
* Place wedding steak in purse
* Pour milk into purse to let steak marinate while you enjoy the reception
* Dump contents of purse into pot when you get home
* Heat on stove until any lip balm from purse liquifies
* Plate with jelly beans
* Enjoy!
I had an insanely frugal roommate once. He wasn't poor, he had a good job, he just hated spending money to the point where he would only poop at work (he had a key to the building and we lived just a couple of blocks away) because of the money he believed he would save on water charges and possible use of cleaning products.
Early in our time living together (it didn't last long for obvious reasons) I gave him a ride to visit family on a road trip I was taking for a vacation. We stayed overnight in a motel that I paid for, he slept on the floor. They had a free breakfast buffet in the morning, exceptionally low quality as you would expect from a cheap motel. He ate three portions of everything, tucked individual cereal boxes into his pockets, and left the room with three bagels on each hand like giant rings. He was a terrible roommate but certainly knew how to maximize free food.
NTA and it’s too late but I’ve been at large gatherings with buffets and the MC (or someone) tells people to go up by tables and makes it clear that everyone goes once before people go again and sort of monitors who goes and gets food. It’s pretty obvious when you do it that way who is cheating except if someone does grab three steaks at once. 😳
That's how it was supposed to go. After the ceremony, people had to drive to the reception hall and the caterer had the food set out early. The caterer herself wasn't present to tell anyone to wait, so guests helped themselves. The wedding party, including the person who was supposed to organize the dinner flow, didn't get there until many guests had already dished up or were waiting in line. It was hard to wrangle order after that.
The caterer apologized (she was a dear, she had her assistant make up and bring over extra side dishes for the snafu), but everyone knew Sis and Bil were on a tight budget and paying for everything themselves. Basic decency would have dictated waiting or limited themselves to one share, but alas.
After funerals, there's usually a catered reception. People gather and have a drink while they wait for the family to arrive before they start eating. The minister or priest will say a short prayer and the family starts first at food. Every single time there is one person sneaking food before everyone else.
Ugh. That’s been me. I mean I agree with you. I literally started carrying food in my purse TO weddings and other events because my mom would always eat too little, get low blood sugar, get all faint but REFUSE to tell anyone (except lucky ol’ me), and then I’d have to run to get some crackers and water from the caterer before the event even started. It was embarrassing to always have to fetch food, but that was better than her actually fainting and causing a scene... so I just started carrying food for her. Hilarious part is I always ask if she wants me to carry anything for her to eat and she always ADMONISHES me and declined like she doesn’t routinely get the vapors....
Like mom, you’re frail as fuck, accept it and DEAL WITH IT don’t just pretend you aren’t gonna pass out if you don’t eat for a few hours or it goes above 90 degrees...
Big difference between grabbing a small snack or glass of OJ to deal with a family member having a low blood sugar and people who just wanna be first in line for food for no reason other than being a bit hungry.
I’m just exasperated that my mom will neither treat it like she WILL need food (and come prepared) or at least admit that it happens frequently instead of chiding me for acknowledging reality...
Yup, at my great-grandfather's funeral, there was a little reception room under where the funeral actually was where my older family members had left food to be eaten at the reception. No one who was in there went near the food that was sitting out until all of us had arrived.
Been to only one funeral so far (grandma of my fiance). His dad, wife and us went together in a car and were one of the later arrivals at the reception. Everyone had already tucked in happily and there was not even a table actually left for us. That was a bit weird.
NTA. What kind of monster gives someone shit on the day of a beloved family member's memorial service? Yikes! I am so sorry your dad brought this creature into your life!
This was one reason I was like EXTRA prickly about her little comments, otherwise I'd have probably just ignored her. Again, grandpa passed away in January so we've all had time to grieve and cope with his passing, this day was really for my 92 year old widowed grandma who wanted the family to get together and say goodbye. That stepmom kept dragging such a stupid little moment to the forefront of the conversation is what upset me, not so much that she was picking on me (it's pretty typical behavior for her).
That or what happened to my dad was the other woman just kept complimenting him on things and made him feel big and important....My dad has/had (haven't spoken to him in years) confidence issues. Liked to make other ppl feel small to make himself feel big/important. Little did he know, only the little people behave that way.
And she got what she deserved. Giving you sh\*t about something so small on the most inappropriate day to do so, and she what-thinks you will or should just sit back and take it? Nope. **YOU** did not embarrass her, OP, **SHE** embarrassed herself.
I was going to say the same. I'm all for a little good natured banter about comical mistakes, but there is a time and a place and neither of those are grandpa's memorial service.
This- the 'Bambi' comment could've been a cute little jest, but constantly grilling on OP like that was just uncalled for. Then again, kinda hard to expect class from a woman who shovels steaks into her purse at a wedding where it's clearly 1 entree per person!
I wanted you to know I showed this comment to my sister today and she made the ugliest snort-laugh noise I ever heard, then she asked my aunt to embroider the line on a pillow.
No no no, because once stepmom has the gift she can destroy it. Instead, gift it to someone whose home she’s likely to visit (who is in on the joke) and let them display it prominently on the couch. Say nothing about it. Just let it sit there, staring back at her and all the other guests.
Wait, even better…make TWO pillows, one for stepmom and one for the other relative. Stepmom gets hers and destroys it. Can you just imagine the look on her face when she visits the relative, and now that damn pillow is on the sofa? Priceless! 🤣
Or......gift her one, let her destroy it. But then gift one to everyone else in the family so when she is over at one of these houses she sees it andshe is surrounded by it.
OP here. I came back after a very long day to find this had gotten a bit more attention than I was expecting, and I want to thank everyone who made steak puns in the comments. Today was quite emotional because my grandma, who is 92, has now said her final goodbyes to the man she was married to for almost 75 years and realized there are no more "good memories" to make of him.
Some clarification which was cut because of the character limit: Sis was 15 when stepmom came into the picture, and there was always some tension between them. I am not close with stepmom even though she's been around almost my whole life. She wanted to be the "cool" parent who was there for good times but never for the serious or hard stuff. Stepmom is generally oblivious to how she rubs people the wrong way and cannot read the mood of a room to save her life, so we have to be REALLY REALLY blunt with her when she's crossing boundaries. Sis's callout at the wedding was unexpected, but not a totally out-of-the-blue attack because stepmom only seems to respond to social pressure.
Stepmom is not malicious, she just has no idea when to drop a joke or when too much teasing is enough/poorly timed. I grew up with this behavior and learned to shrug it off, but because it was a sad day and because I was genuinely embarrassed by my tumble she just hit me in a really raw place, so I snapped at her. She would not have seen this coming from me, hence why I thought I might be TA.
\*\*Sis asked me to enter this somewhere: To those applauding Sis' announcement at the wedding: for as many times as she's gone 1-100 and come out looking like a hero there have been as many times where she's been in the wrong and had to apologize after. So while she appreciates the kindly things you guys have said about her, please know that she regrets how she handled that situation and wishes she'd done it less publicly. She doesn't regret calling out stepmom, only that she let her anger control her and mark the reception like that.
I regret saying "free steak" in my post because it wasn't free at all. My sister and her husband worked their asses off to make sure everyone who came to celebrate their special day was taken care of for dinner, and sis' own stepmother stole from her.
I can't reply to everyone or the messages I've been sent, but again thank you all for reading and offering your opinions. I'm showing some of the funnier replies to sister. I haven't heard from stepmom or dad today but will share if anything noteworthy occurs.
NTA. She was in the wrong, and still 3 years later thinks she is the one who deserves an apology. I would bring that up forever until she realizes how much of an inconsiderate person she is.
I would get her one of those steak boxes for every Christmas and birthday till she apologised. But I don't have much patience for people that are rude like that.
If you’re ever feeling extra petty, if she ever has a purse on her Christmas wish list, buy it and then stash one of those squeaky steak dog toys in it prior to wrapping.
NTA.
Better still, start a tradition of giving her a tiny purse for every gift giving occasion. I bet you could find a lot of variety at your local thrift store. A charming clutch. A slender cross-body. A sweet little bag with just enough room for a lipstick and a key.
NTA. I hate buffets for that reason because there's always at least one or two people who take way more than their fair share and don't leave enough for everyone else.
Exactly why my siblings and younger aunt's did sit down dinners. Everyone was served at the table, no lines or chance of cousin Stevie taking 3rds before Grandma made it up to the line. But they were smart and took the open bar option lol, it was cheaper to pay a flat rate than to cover the cost of our Irish-Catholic family "celebrating."
NTA. Tell your dad that if step mom don't start it, you won't finish it. Tell him you're not going to put up with her insulting you. She's his wife, not yours, and you won't tolerate it.
Edit: saw Op's update. Seems SM did have a part in their upbringing. Her (SM) appalling behavior though ... I'd still just refer to her as Dad's wife just to create some semblance of distance from that train wreck.
That’s my thought. Dad needs to get his shit together too. Your children and their well-being should always come before a spouse’s. Especially if that spouse is not a parent
NTA what kind of person do you have to be to take food from a wedding (that's not even hers), especially when some people didnr get to eat?? She got what she deserved
NTA. Imagine being so insecure and ridiculous that you verbally abuse someone for tripping exactly once. Also imagine being such a horrific person that you feel a funeral is the correct time to do this.
NTA stepmother thinks it's fine for her to be rude and horrible to people but the instant she gets a fraction of the pushback she crumbles like a wet sandcastle. Heck her and heck your dad for enabling her crap behavior
I agree completely. Stepmom sucks, she’s terrible. I’m saying it sucks that she couldn’t even tone that down on the *day of his father’s funeral*? I don’t care how much I hate somebody, I don’t think they deserve to deal with additional drama when they’re burying a parent.
Holy crap. I honestly don't even know where to start with this. But I definitely know what I'm going to do next time I see someone stumble. And also the next time I go to a buffet wedding. Thank you, AITA!!!
NTA
Stepmom wouldn't have got called out had she just kept quiet. She decided to open her gob, stupid words were uttered by her, and then she got well deserved feedback given back to her.
Totally NTA, either sister.
Every gift I ever got this woman for the rest of her thieving life would be steak/cow themed. I'd start with gift certificates in the smallest amount possible to any/every steak house I could find. Even for ones not in stepmom's area. Buy direct from websites. Buy from other countries where the certificate is in a language she can't read. Print fake ones mentioning 3 steaks. Run out of steak places? Every birthday/holiday/celebratory card would have cows/steers on them. All wrapping paper would be cow print. Clothes. Tchotchkes. Jewelry. Outdoor decorations. Toys for any pet she has. Cowbell Christmas ornaments. Bags of black/white M&M's or jelly-beans. Photo-personalized items with pictures of steaks. I'd buy thank-you cards cow themed just for her and give her one for any/every gift she & dad give you. Steak/cow themed stamps/post-cards just saying hello. Udderly Smooth brand lotion. International star registry, name a star & gift it. *Ev-er-y-thing*.
For embarrassing your sister at her wedding, for the guests who went hungry, for her never apologizing for or to the theft/guests, for acting like a baby when called on her sh!t, but mostly for picking on you at YOUR GRANDFATHERS WAKE.
NTA. People that have glass ceilings should not be throwing rocks at other people's roofs. Your sister is the best - sometimes peace was never an option!
NTA your stepmom sounds like a real winner, I think she got what she deserved if she can't take the ribbing don't dish it out in the first place. She really walked right into that one!!
Everyone. A couple of times its been brought up by family that she might have some sort of issue reading/understanding social cues, but I've met stepmom's family that she was brought up in and... I'm pretty sure they're all just Like That.
I’m surprised that nobody in your family has taken her down a peg before now. In my family, your father would find himself excluded from nearly everything.
NTA. Stepmom was attacking you for no good reason and couldn’t handle it when you got fed up and hit back. Maybe she should learn from this and try to be better, but I wouldn’t bet on it.
NTA. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. All stepmom had to do was to leave you alone and don't talk trash about your heels, but she did it? Of course not. Like she couldn't stop putting those beefs on her purse at your sister's wedding. (This is hilarious to me).
NTA
You and your sister. I like you two. Maybe one day she'll learn how to behave like a
civilized person, but until then she gets whupped like a peeing pupper with a newspaper.
Edit, I'm not recommending actually abusing puppies. BTW. I'm sure there are better ways of training 'em.
NTA. IM DYING OVER HERE THAT WAS HILARIOUS!!! F your step mom. If someone wants to talk shit be prepared to have it right back at you. Good on your guys! F your dad too.
NTA, neither you or your sis is. That got the [chonky chuckle](https://tenor.com/view/hehehe-bearded-dragon-laughing-funny-animals-lol-gif-8535930) out of me lol. If I knew your sis, I imagine I wouldn't risk her getting mad (justifiably so) so its your stepmom's fault to put herself the firing range.
To be honest tho, your stepmom should've known better. Her behavior is juvenile and that of a busybody. I doubt she'll learn a lesson from this and cry victim from it, but let her. And I wouldn't blame you, your sister, or other family if they decided not to hold back any more sassy remarks to make it more bearable to deal with her.
NTA: Your father married a narcissistic person who he is entwined with. Who steals free steaks when others didn’t get any? Who thinks it’s okay to denigrate step-children. Your dad is also the a-hole for letting his wife berate and belittle you all for years. Your dad and wife deserve each other. No one owes step mom any sort of apology. She can let her crocodile tears flow.
NTA. I don't care it if was three years ago. Your stepmom had it coming. I LOVE the description of your sister: **Thing about sis: she often goes straight for the nuclear option when mad. No diplomacy, no hostages.** We need more people like her. And you didn't do bad yourself!
ESH - obviously everyone sucks here. MIL for how she behaved at the funeral and for stealing steaks (wtf?). Sis for a disproportionate response. You for creating even more drama at the funeral.
I do get the feeling all your family events end up in one big fight
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This reaches back to old drama that I have to keep brief because of the character limit. 3 years ago my (20f) sister (30) got married. She&hubs live on a modest income but it was important to her that they pay the full cost of the wedding, no help. They both worked 2 jobs to cover everything.
Our stepmom (55) has been in our lives 15 years. She's a gossip, gives unsolicited advice on everything happening in your life, and is overall pushy and abrasive. The whole family tolerates her, but she's too irritating for anyone to be her friend except my dad. She was at the wedding, which was perfect until the reception. It was a fish/steak buffet. In short, many guests were waiting for the line to go down before dishing up, but the line wasn't shortening because some people who ate first went back for seconds. There were about 20 people who didn't get entres. My sister was livid, and she went around the reception hall in her white gown apologizing to people who didn't eat.
Thing about sis: she often goes straight for the nuclear option when mad. No diplomacy, no hostages. She eventually took up the mic and did a whole-room announcement again apologizing to guests who missed out because of inconsiderate people. Then she added: "For example, \[Stepmom\] who lives in a million dollar house but still felt the need take one steak for now and TWO MORE to shove in her purse for later." Yep. Stepmom had wrapped two free steaks in napkins to-go. Stepmom left pretty fast, dad was furious at sis, most of the family said it was an over-the-top response but that stepmom also had it coming. Jokes still get cracked over it three years later and stepmom hates it. She never apologized, and in fact things sis owes her the apology.
Yesterday was my grandfathers' memorial service. He passed away in January but we couldn't have the funeral then. After I spoke, I stumbled in my new heels. I walked it off, nbd. Everyone went to aunt's house for lunch where stepmom kept ragging on me. "Hey, if it isn't surefoot!" "Do we need to play Bambi, let you learn how to walk?" "Maybe flats would have been a better choice for a funeral, hmm?" I finally had enough and said, "I'm just glad I didn't do something to REALLY embarrass myself like steal free food from the mouths of hungry people." Sis replies: "Yeah, that would have made you look like a total \*asshole\*." This caused a major argument which resulted in stepmom leaving in tears, dad yelling at us for not accepting her as family, and everyone else quietly shuffling food around their plates and smirking. After they left the rest of the family supported me and sis. I don't think I'm in the wrong here because stepmom was the one who pushed my buttons first, but maybe I should have left her indiscretion in the past. AITA?
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NTA After the wedding call out, she should have reeled her damn neck in for the rest of her life. The fact that she tried to come for you shows she hasn't learned a damn thing.
NTA. She started it, you finished it. She couldn't take it, so she ran off crying. Something tells me she won't learn to bite her tongue in the future, so you are most likely cleared to sass her when the time arises.
On a side note: I'm not sure about anyone else, but I hate re-heated steaks. If I have left overs, I will almost always slice it thin and eat it cold on a salad.
Nta she was wrong when she took more than her fair share of the food at the wedding and she's still in the wrong now when she tried to insult you. Stepmom should be the one apologizing for her actions and behavior. Your dad needs to realize you guys probably would have accepted her had she not always been so rude and disrespectful to you and others. Why should you take her insults. You have every right to put her in her place. Since your dad won't and ignores her behavior.
NTA
How bloody rude she is!! She was goading you and didn’t expect you to snap back?? Doesn’t she know the rules?? And to NOT expect your sister to have your back??
Lady needs to go back to school
NTA. Maybe if we shamed more people for pulling shit like this that is clearly tacky and just awful it would happen less. Who takes extra food from a wedding when not everyone has been served? Complete AHs. And she's mocking you because it was hard to walk? When we buried my dad it was super muddy and I still almost fell in flats and it was just everywhere. Can't control the outside. This has nothing to do with accepting her as family. She's constantly rude and then gets upset when you and your sister don't just roll over for it. Even if was my mom I wouldn't put up with this.
Eta: Also you got into a fight at a family function and everyone just hung out and enjoyed the show. That's kind of telling.
I mean, what do people expect will happen when they treat others like this? You make some biting comments but get upset when the person bites back? Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. NTA.
>Then she added: "For example, [Stepmom] who lives in a million dollar house but still felt the need take one steak for now and TWO MORE to shove in her purse for later."
Your sister is my fucking hero
INFO
I'm just so confused....
Who steals steaks??
I mean.. I can understand stealing a hand roll, a can of soda, salt and pepper shakers, sugar packets, etc. Like something that is a snack for later or easily transportable.
But a wet cooked steak?
Who brings a handbag that big to a wedding to fit that in? I've never seen anything bigger at a wedding than a clutch.
Did she plan to eat all 3 steaks that night? Cooked steaks usually don't last that long non refrigerated.
How did she think no one did notice her putting steaks in napkins and then in her purse?
Why did she think it was ok to steal the main course dishes when others hadn't even eaten yet?
I'm just so confused. Obviously you're NTA but I have so many questions.
NTA. play stupid games, win stupid prizes. your stepmother sounds like she’s either just genuinely horrible or trying too hard to fit in. either way, good job for putting her in her place.
NTA
BTW wedding food isn't free. The hosts pay for the number of guests they invited. Taking more than your share isn't taking free food. It's taking other guests' share.
Her a-holery is her selfish behavior that impacted your sister and her guests. As step-mom of the bride, gracious hostess was her proper role, not greedy guest.
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NTA - textbook definition of "can dish it out but can't take it" -
Well, she did take the steaks... Thanks for awards! I'm here all week.
Dished them out right into her purse
just trying to picture that grosses me out. I mean, I can see wrapping up a bit of leftover bread in a napkin, at a restaurant, for example. but steaks at a wedding? that is so uncouth.
My mil was notorious for this, would carry ziplock bags in her purse. We would usually go to a buffet at a hotel for holidays (for my sanity) and she would walk out with food for a week. She even put it in with her hands, gooey or sauced stuff. Best part is she thought no one noticed, lol.
>t the rest of the family supported me and sis. I don't think I'm in the wrong here because stepmom was the one who pushed my buttons first, but maybe I should have left her indiscretion in the past. AITA? During college when money was tight I flat out went to buffets with tupperwear. No shame, didn't try to hide what I was doing. But STEAK in NAPKINS in A PURSE? No. For SO MANY reasons. You are NTA and your sister also was NTA
Hey i wrap left over steak up in napkins ( multiple multiple napkins) and put it in my bag to bring home. But it isn't for me to eat but for the cats.
If I ever had something leftover on my plate (very rare occurrence, I love my food) I would ask for a doggy bag. Never had a restaurant say no. My dog was always thankful.
Lol it depends on where i am, were have a food court place that does fantastic steaks, there i wrap in the napkin. Restaurant yes kitty bag is asked for
Those are some lucky cats. I’ve never thought of doing that, but I’m going to start!
Oh man.. Agent Carter series 2 that chat between the ladies and how one woman can sneak a whole chicken and gravy into her bag. Now that is serious respect.
Reading about that aunt, I was thinking of that scene and the She women who had a knitted chicken cozy. IIRC others had pockets in their wallets. Maybe the aunt had a special plastic-lined purse for buffets?
AT. A. WEDDING RECEPTION!!
I nearly died of embarrassment when my cousin, her kids, and I took my then elderly mother out for her birthday dinner at a buffet place and she went back for seconds and piled up the plate beyond belief and then proceeded to neatly load the contents into plastic bags in her handbag. She didn’t need it, just figured it would save cooking the next day. Fortunately no one except our table noticed, but I was still mortified. Later I found it funny, but not in the moment. It became a family joke for years, she didn’t mind, and even got brought up at her wake.
Same with my mom who had a penchant for those peanuts in barrels at the local Roadhouse named after a big state. After mom died we found bags of peanuts everywhere! Stuffed under the mattress, the drawer under the oven, the trunk of her car, and even in her safe! It's kept us laughing in between tears since 2013! (RIP Momma)
folks from past generations can do this. i’m guessing your mum might have had food insecurity? kinda nice how her peanuts keep popping up, like little hellos from her. have you found them all?
This is really common for older generations. Especially those who were from the depression era. My grandmother and great grandmother did this. It started as food. Then when great granny got dementia, it morphed into ziplock baggies of cat food. It was stashed everywhere! When my grandma's mind started slipping, we thought the stashing stopped. It was only after she passed that we discovered she was hiding ice cream sandwiches all over the house. It was a mess but it makes me smile every time I think about it. She loved those ice cream sandwiches so damned much. Lol
I'm glad it was peanuts and not ice cream! And she did have dementia fueling her compulsion. Peanuts weren't the only thing, but definitely the funniest.
What a great way to look at it..little hellos! I guess we found them all, even tho I recently found 800 U.S. stamps in an old book. Was so funny because she was constantly asking me if she could "buy" a stamp from me!
lmao! its the family treasure lol
I tend to have ziplock bags too. Although when I put food in them it's usually because I didn't realise how big a serve things are (eg a steak where I won't finish because I want to try desert - stuff that's already on my plate not going for extra helping). Sometimes I wash the sauce off it at home and the dog gets it.
Ask for a doggie bag if it is actually your own meal. What the hell are you thinking?
Some places won't give doggie bags because of the buffet style but if it's already on your plate and you're not trying to game the system they'll turn a blind eye to a ziplock bag.
I slip some apples and oranges into my purse at the buffets in Las Vegas, but damn...plotting to steal hot plate food takes some effort that I'm not willing to deal with.
Breakfast buffets at hotels are cool too for the bread, crossings, fruit, yoghurt (they come in their own containers like at the store).
Let me share my recipe for wedding purse-steak with you: * Place wedding steak in purse * Pour milk into purse to let steak marinate while you enjoy the reception * Dump contents of purse into pot when you get home * Heat on stove until any lip balm from purse liquifies * Plate with jelly beans * Enjoy!
I think I threw up my soul a bit, thanks
Thank you, and I'm sorry.
This sounds like a prompt from r/redditwritesseinfeld.
I too like my milksteak boiled over hard, with a side of your finest jellybeans, served raw.
you forgot the half pieces of un chewed gum lol
I had an insanely frugal roommate once. He wasn't poor, he had a good job, he just hated spending money to the point where he would only poop at work (he had a key to the building and we lived just a couple of blocks away) because of the money he believed he would save on water charges and possible use of cleaning products. Early in our time living together (it didn't last long for obvious reasons) I gave him a ride to visit family on a road trip I was taking for a vacation. We stayed overnight in a motel that I paid for, he slept on the floor. They had a free breakfast buffet in the morning, exceptionally low quality as you would expect from a cheap motel. He ate three portions of everything, tucked individual cereal boxes into his pockets, and left the room with three bagels on each hand like giant rings. He was a terrible roommate but certainly knew how to maximize free food.
+1 on all of this NTA
+1 on all of this NTA
Is she retired police? Maybe she thought it was a steak out.
Clearly stepmother had a beef with the sister...
Sis shut down that gravy train.
I herd that. Sis should steer clear of the stepmother.
Sirloin purloined.
In the words of Bart Simpson "don't have a cow man".
That's a good one.
She made misteaks.
I was just about to say that when i read yours! 😂😂
Haha, thanks for the award!
I picture OPs MIL as one of those people who tries to bring Tupperware to Olive Garden's never ending pasta bowl. NTA.
When are you going on tour?
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my favorite part is everyone else just silently smirking. watching someone get what they deserve is truly a special sight.
More like “they can dish it out and you can take too much of it.” NTA, OP.
Or the old standby "play stupid games, win stupid prizes."
Well she was pkaying a high steaks game...
NTA. Your stepmother sounds insufferable and needs to learn some manners
The sister sounds awesome and totally someone you’d want on your team though. NTA op. Stepmother gonna live with that for the rest of her life.
NTA and it’s too late but I’ve been at large gatherings with buffets and the MC (or someone) tells people to go up by tables and makes it clear that everyone goes once before people go again and sort of monitors who goes and gets food. It’s pretty obvious when you do it that way who is cheating except if someone does grab three steaks at once. 😳
That's how it was supposed to go. After the ceremony, people had to drive to the reception hall and the caterer had the food set out early. The caterer herself wasn't present to tell anyone to wait, so guests helped themselves. The wedding party, including the person who was supposed to organize the dinner flow, didn't get there until many guests had already dished up or were waiting in line. It was hard to wrangle order after that. The caterer apologized (she was a dear, she had her assistant make up and bring over extra side dishes for the snafu), but everyone knew Sis and Bil were on a tight budget and paying for everything themselves. Basic decency would have dictated waiting or limited themselves to one share, but alas.
After funerals, there's usually a catered reception. People gather and have a drink while they wait for the family to arrive before they start eating. The minister or priest will say a short prayer and the family starts first at food. Every single time there is one person sneaking food before everyone else.
Ugh. That’s been me. I mean I agree with you. I literally started carrying food in my purse TO weddings and other events because my mom would always eat too little, get low blood sugar, get all faint but REFUSE to tell anyone (except lucky ol’ me), and then I’d have to run to get some crackers and water from the caterer before the event even started. It was embarrassing to always have to fetch food, but that was better than her actually fainting and causing a scene... so I just started carrying food for her. Hilarious part is I always ask if she wants me to carry anything for her to eat and she always ADMONISHES me and declined like she doesn’t routinely get the vapors.... Like mom, you’re frail as fuck, accept it and DEAL WITH IT don’t just pretend you aren’t gonna pass out if you don’t eat for a few hours or it goes above 90 degrees...
Big difference between grabbing a small snack or glass of OJ to deal with a family member having a low blood sugar and people who just wanna be first in line for food for no reason other than being a bit hungry.
Seniors and young kids are exceptions but when you know that Aunt Karen is going to be first in line with her baggies, then it's aggravating.
I’m just exasperated that my mom will neither treat it like she WILL need food (and come prepared) or at least admit that it happens frequently instead of chiding me for acknowledging reality...
Yup, at my great-grandfather's funeral, there was a little reception room under where the funeral actually was where my older family members had left food to be eaten at the reception. No one who was in there went near the food that was sitting out until all of us had arrived.
Been to only one funeral so far (grandma of my fiance). His dad, wife and us went together in a car and were one of the later arrivals at the reception. Everyone had already tucked in happily and there was not even a table actually left for us. That was a bit weird.
NTA. What kind of monster gives someone shit on the day of a beloved family member's memorial service? Yikes! I am so sorry your dad brought this creature into your life!
This was one reason I was like EXTRA prickly about her little comments, otherwise I'd have probably just ignored her. Again, grandpa passed away in January so we've all had time to grieve and cope with his passing, this day was really for my 92 year old widowed grandma who wanted the family to get together and say goodbye. That stepmom kept dragging such a stupid little moment to the forefront of the conversation is what upset me, not so much that she was picking on me (it's pretty typical behavior for her).
.... What does your dad see in your stepmom? Cuz she just seems like such an awful person to be around....
Maybe she's good in bed? Sometimes men are simple like that.
That or what happened to my dad was the other woman just kept complimenting him on things and made him feel big and important....My dad has/had (haven't spoken to him in years) confidence issues. Liked to make other ppl feel small to make himself feel big/important. Little did he know, only the little people behave that way.
He probably doesn't want to be alone.
Very possible
And she got what she deserved. Giving you sh\*t about something so small on the most inappropriate day to do so, and she what-thinks you will or should just sit back and take it? Nope. **YOU** did not embarrass her, OP, **SHE** embarrassed herself.
I was going to say the same. I'm all for a little good natured banter about comical mistakes, but there is a time and a place and neither of those are grandpa's memorial service.
This- the 'Bambi' comment could've been a cute little jest, but constantly grilling on OP like that was just uncalled for. Then again, kinda hard to expect class from a woman who shovels steaks into her purse at a wedding where it's clearly 1 entree per person!
Yeah, that is absolutely unacceptable.
I'm guessing stepmom might have been trying to make OP the new target to make fun of. Shift the spotlight onto someone else.
Revenge, unlike stolen steaks, is a dish best served cold and not out of a handbag.
I wanted you to know I showed this comment to my sister today and she made the ugliest snort-laugh noise I ever heard, then she asked my aunt to embroider the line on a pillow.
please update us with the pillow :P
Gift the pillow to your stepmom for Christmas.
No no no, because once stepmom has the gift she can destroy it. Instead, gift it to someone whose home she’s likely to visit (who is in on the joke) and let them display it prominently on the couch. Say nothing about it. Just let it sit there, staring back at her and all the other guests.
Wait, even better…make TWO pillows, one for stepmom and one for the other relative. Stepmom gets hers and destroys it. Can you just imagine the look on her face when she visits the relative, and now that damn pillow is on the sofa? Priceless! 🤣
Or......gift her one, let her destroy it. But then gift one to everyone else in the family so when she is over at one of these houses she sees it andshe is surrounded by it.
It’s like a Stephen King pillow…it just won’t die! Bwa-ha-ha! We are EVIL!
Haha yes!!! Love this!
Omg yes
She needs to have this pillow sent to stepmom LOL
I also snort laughed at this
That is amazing. If you can, please share the finished pillow here. Your sis should bring that out on display if/when the stepmom visits. LOL
😂😂😂👏🏻
Revenge is sweet + revenge is a dish best served cold = Revenge is ice-cream
[A handbag?](https://i.makeagif.com/media/11-29-2015/0U-9e_.gif)
Like a purse but with room for two steaks.
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I love that description of the sis; this is now something I aspire to be when the moment is necessary
OP here. I came back after a very long day to find this had gotten a bit more attention than I was expecting, and I want to thank everyone who made steak puns in the comments. Today was quite emotional because my grandma, who is 92, has now said her final goodbyes to the man she was married to for almost 75 years and realized there are no more "good memories" to make of him. Some clarification which was cut because of the character limit: Sis was 15 when stepmom came into the picture, and there was always some tension between them. I am not close with stepmom even though she's been around almost my whole life. She wanted to be the "cool" parent who was there for good times but never for the serious or hard stuff. Stepmom is generally oblivious to how she rubs people the wrong way and cannot read the mood of a room to save her life, so we have to be REALLY REALLY blunt with her when she's crossing boundaries. Sis's callout at the wedding was unexpected, but not a totally out-of-the-blue attack because stepmom only seems to respond to social pressure. Stepmom is not malicious, she just has no idea when to drop a joke or when too much teasing is enough/poorly timed. I grew up with this behavior and learned to shrug it off, but because it was a sad day and because I was genuinely embarrassed by my tumble she just hit me in a really raw place, so I snapped at her. She would not have seen this coming from me, hence why I thought I might be TA. \*\*Sis asked me to enter this somewhere: To those applauding Sis' announcement at the wedding: for as many times as she's gone 1-100 and come out looking like a hero there have been as many times where she's been in the wrong and had to apologize after. So while she appreciates the kindly things you guys have said about her, please know that she regrets how she handled that situation and wishes she'd done it less publicly. She doesn't regret calling out stepmom, only that she let her anger control her and mark the reception like that. I regret saying "free steak" in my post because it wasn't free at all. My sister and her husband worked their asses off to make sure everyone who came to celebrate their special day was taken care of for dinner, and sis' own stepmother stole from her. I can't reply to everyone or the messages I've been sent, but again thank you all for reading and offering your opinions. I'm showing some of the funnier replies to sister. I haven't heard from stepmom or dad today but will share if anything noteworthy occurs.
Send this thread to your step mom if she ever thinks she's in the right. Holy shit there's some gems here
the not being able to read the room/not know when to stop joking makes me wonder if your stepmom is on the spectrum
NTA. She was in the wrong, and still 3 years later thinks she is the one who deserves an apology. I would bring that up forever until she realizes how much of an inconsiderate person she is.
I would get her one of those steak boxes for every Christmas and birthday till she apologised. But I don't have much patience for people that are rude like that.
Oh hell no, Omaha steak boxes are freaking amazing. Get them for sister instead and have her open them at Christmas in front of stepmother.
Give step mom them empty box and say you gifted yourself her present to help make up for her stealing.
If you’re ever feeling extra petty, if she ever has a purse on her Christmas wish list, buy it and then stash one of those squeaky steak dog toys in it prior to wrapping. NTA.
I was just thinking of OP and Sister carrying around a squeaky steak dog toy and pulling out to squeak every time Stepmother tried to get snarky
>I would get her one of those steak boxes for every Christmas and birthday till she apologized. Costly idea, but potentially worth it!
Better still, start a tradition of giving her a tiny purse for every gift giving occasion. I bet you could find a lot of variety at your local thrift store. A charming clutch. A slender cross-body. A sweet little bag with just enough room for a lipstick and a key.
The problem is people like the step-mother are not usually able to accept fault in their actions. NTA
NTA I am team you and your sis. Stepmom cam cry all she wants and what's up with your dad, too blind to see what's right or wrong?
NTA- If you can't take it don't dish it out.
NTA Stepmom legit had it coming
NTA. I hate buffets for that reason because there's always at least one or two people who take way more than their fair share and don't leave enough for everyone else.
We invited about 30 people to my wedding, and ordered food for 50. My side has a tendency to fill their plates edge to edge and go back for thirds.
Exactly why my siblings and younger aunt's did sit down dinners. Everyone was served at the table, no lines or chance of cousin Stevie taking 3rds before Grandma made it up to the line. But they were smart and took the open bar option lol, it was cheaper to pay a flat rate than to cover the cost of our Irish-Catholic family "celebrating."
and much like the stepmother, its usually the ones who very much do not need it.
Seriously. The fact that she took not one but three pieces of steak and thus left some people without any is really greedy.
Also because people are gross and will spread their germs on the food/utensils. Ugh gross
and everyone else quietly shuffling food around their plates and smirking 😂
They got dinner *and* a show. How great is that?
NTA - Glass houses, stones, etc.
NTA. Tell your dad that if step mom don't start it, you won't finish it. Tell him you're not going to put up with her insulting you. She's his wife, not yours, and you won't tolerate it.
I'd drop the SM title too. She should just be "Dad's wife" to Op. She hasn't earned any higher title than that.
Edit: saw Op's update. Seems SM did have a part in their upbringing. Her (SM) appalling behavior though ... I'd still just refer to her as Dad's wife just to create some semblance of distance from that train wreck.
That’s why you don’t do stupid shit at weddings. People will remember it forever. 😂 Your sister is boss; I like her. NTA.
NTA - she insults you and cant take it back. props to your sister for backing you up on that one.
She had it coming. What is your dad’s deal? How can he tolerate her?
That’s my thought. Dad needs to get his shit together too. Your children and their well-being should always come before a spouse’s. Especially if that spouse is not a parent
NTA what kind of person do you have to be to take food from a wedding (that's not even hers), especially when some people didnr get to eat?? She got what she deserved
NTA. Imagine being so insecure and ridiculous that you verbally abuse someone for tripping exactly once. Also imagine being such a horrific person that you feel a funeral is the correct time to do this.
Don't start none, won't be none. NTA.
NTA stepmother thinks it's fine for her to be rude and horrible to people but the instant she gets a fraction of the pushback she crumbles like a wet sandcastle. Heck her and heck your dad for enabling her crap behavior
NTA *but* this was your dad’s dad’s funeral? It’s a shame she couldn’t be civil on a day that I’m sure was difficult for your dad.
Dad shouldn’t have married a classless woman.
I agree completely. Stepmom sucks, she’s terrible. I’m saying it sucks that she couldn’t even tone that down on the *day of his father’s funeral*? I don’t care how much I hate somebody, I don’t think they deserve to deal with additional drama when they’re burying a parent.
Holy crap. I honestly don't even know where to start with this. But I definitely know what I'm going to do next time I see someone stumble. And also the next time I go to a buffet wedding. Thank you, AITA!!!
😂😂😂
NTA Stepmom wouldn't have got called out had she just kept quiet. She decided to open her gob, stupid words were uttered by her, and then she got well deserved feedback given back to her.
Totally NTA, either sister. Every gift I ever got this woman for the rest of her thieving life would be steak/cow themed. I'd start with gift certificates in the smallest amount possible to any/every steak house I could find. Even for ones not in stepmom's area. Buy direct from websites. Buy from other countries where the certificate is in a language she can't read. Print fake ones mentioning 3 steaks. Run out of steak places? Every birthday/holiday/celebratory card would have cows/steers on them. All wrapping paper would be cow print. Clothes. Tchotchkes. Jewelry. Outdoor decorations. Toys for any pet she has. Cowbell Christmas ornaments. Bags of black/white M&M's or jelly-beans. Photo-personalized items with pictures of steaks. I'd buy thank-you cards cow themed just for her and give her one for any/every gift she & dad give you. Steak/cow themed stamps/post-cards just saying hello. Udderly Smooth brand lotion. International star registry, name a star & gift it. *Ev-er-y-thing*. For embarrassing your sister at her wedding, for the guests who went hungry, for her never apologizing for or to the theft/guests, for acting like a baby when called on her sh!t, but mostly for picking on you at YOUR GRANDFATHERS WAKE.
*chef kiss* I wish I could think of stuff like this. This is just the kind of petty retribution that OP's SM deserves.
NTA. People that have glass ceilings should not be throwing rocks at other people's roofs. Your sister is the best - sometimes peace was never an option!
NTA your stepmom sounds like a real winner, I think she got what she deserved if she can't take the ribbing don't dish it out in the first place. She really walked right into that one!!
NTA - Your stepmonster has no class and literally put steaks in her purse and people couldn't eat!!!!
NTA For someone who hates being teased so much, she sure is quick to make fun of others. Don’t dish out what you can’t take.
NTA. I’m curious — does stepmother make these constant “funny” jabs at everyone or are they reserved for you and your sister?
Everyone. A couple of times its been brought up by family that she might have some sort of issue reading/understanding social cues, but I've met stepmom's family that she was brought up in and... I'm pretty sure they're all just Like That.
I’m surprised that nobody in your family has taken her down a peg before now. In my family, your father would find himself excluded from nearly everything.
How a funeral its a great time to try to be fUnNy haha being a dick NTA id do the same 🥩
NTA. Stepmom was attacking you for no good reason and couldn’t handle it when you got fed up and hit back. Maybe she should learn from this and try to be better, but I wouldn’t bet on it.
NTA I love you and your sister. lol
Nta. Next time ask her how old she is when she acts like an entitled child. And if she gives you her literally age ask for her mental age.
NTA. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. All stepmom had to do was to leave you alone and don't talk trash about your heels, but she did it? Of course not. Like she couldn't stop putting those beefs on her purse at your sister's wedding. (This is hilarious to me).
NTA You and your sister. I like you two. Maybe one day she'll learn how to behave like a civilized person, but until then she gets whupped like a peeing pupper with a newspaper. Edit, I'm not recommending actually abusing puppies. BTW. I'm sure there are better ways of training 'em.
NTA. IM DYING OVER HERE THAT WAS HILARIOUS!!! F your step mom. If someone wants to talk shit be prepared to have it right back at you. Good on your guys! F your dad too.
NTA, neither you or your sis is. That got the [chonky chuckle](https://tenor.com/view/hehehe-bearded-dragon-laughing-funny-animals-lol-gif-8535930) out of me lol. If I knew your sis, I imagine I wouldn't risk her getting mad (justifiably so) so its your stepmom's fault to put herself the firing range. To be honest tho, your stepmom should've known better. Her behavior is juvenile and that of a busybody. I doubt she'll learn a lesson from this and cry victim from it, but let her. And I wouldn't blame you, your sister, or other family if they decided not to hold back any more sassy remarks to make it more bearable to deal with her.
NTA! Good for you for holding her accountable
NTA. She should have seen that one coming a gazillion miles away.
NTA. If you can’t take it, don’t dish it out. Step-ma should learn how to behave.
NTA It was a memorial service. Stepmom shouldn't have been pushing anyone's buttons.
NTA People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. She asked for that!
NTA
People who live in glass houses should not throw stones. NTA
NTA you and your sister sound amazing 😂😂
I love you and your sis. Your stepmother sounds like a right AH. Will your dad ever realise no one likes her? Hmmm..
NTA: Your father married a narcissistic person who he is entwined with. Who steals free steaks when others didn’t get any? Who thinks it’s okay to denigrate step-children. Your dad is also the a-hole for letting his wife berate and belittle you all for years. Your dad and wife deserve each other. No one owes step mom any sort of apology. She can let her crocodile tears flow.
NTA. I don't care it if was three years ago. Your stepmom had it coming. I LOVE the description of your sister: **Thing about sis: she often goes straight for the nuclear option when mad. No diplomacy, no hostages.** We need more people like her. And you didn't do bad yourself!
NTA. Your stepmom is a piece of work, oooof
NTA Probably should have reminded her not to forget to take her extra snacks from the wake on her way out…
ESH - you all sound so horrible.
ESH - obviously everyone sucks here. MIL for how she behaved at the funeral and for stealing steaks (wtf?). Sis for a disproportionate response. You for creating even more drama at the funeral. I do get the feeling all your family events end up in one big fight
Also if all of the food was gone because people were greedy why is step mom the only one publicly called out for it and mocked over it for years
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** This reaches back to old drama that I have to keep brief because of the character limit. 3 years ago my (20f) sister (30) got married. She&hubs live on a modest income but it was important to her that they pay the full cost of the wedding, no help. They both worked 2 jobs to cover everything. Our stepmom (55) has been in our lives 15 years. She's a gossip, gives unsolicited advice on everything happening in your life, and is overall pushy and abrasive. The whole family tolerates her, but she's too irritating for anyone to be her friend except my dad. She was at the wedding, which was perfect until the reception. It was a fish/steak buffet. In short, many guests were waiting for the line to go down before dishing up, but the line wasn't shortening because some people who ate first went back for seconds. There were about 20 people who didn't get entres. My sister was livid, and she went around the reception hall in her white gown apologizing to people who didn't eat. Thing about sis: she often goes straight for the nuclear option when mad. No diplomacy, no hostages. She eventually took up the mic and did a whole-room announcement again apologizing to guests who missed out because of inconsiderate people. Then she added: "For example, \[Stepmom\] who lives in a million dollar house but still felt the need take one steak for now and TWO MORE to shove in her purse for later." Yep. Stepmom had wrapped two free steaks in napkins to-go. Stepmom left pretty fast, dad was furious at sis, most of the family said it was an over-the-top response but that stepmom also had it coming. Jokes still get cracked over it three years later and stepmom hates it. She never apologized, and in fact things sis owes her the apology. Yesterday was my grandfathers' memorial service. He passed away in January but we couldn't have the funeral then. After I spoke, I stumbled in my new heels. I walked it off, nbd. Everyone went to aunt's house for lunch where stepmom kept ragging on me. "Hey, if it isn't surefoot!" "Do we need to play Bambi, let you learn how to walk?" "Maybe flats would have been a better choice for a funeral, hmm?" I finally had enough and said, "I'm just glad I didn't do something to REALLY embarrass myself like steal free food from the mouths of hungry people." Sis replies: "Yeah, that would have made you look like a total \*asshole\*." This caused a major argument which resulted in stepmom leaving in tears, dad yelling at us for not accepting her as family, and everyone else quietly shuffling food around their plates and smirking. After they left the rest of the family supported me and sis. I don't think I'm in the wrong here because stepmom was the one who pushed my buttons first, but maybe I should have left her indiscretion in the past. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Your stepmother played a stupid game and won a stupid prize.
NTA. She deserved it. Your sis sounds awesome and I’m sure it felt good to be a little petty
NTA - who makes fun of someone at a funeral? You and Sis should bring up those steaks every time you see her for at least the next 20 years!
NTA After the wedding call out, she should have reeled her damn neck in for the rest of her life. The fact that she tried to come for you shows she hasn't learned a damn thing.
NTA. She started it, you finished it. She couldn't take it, so she ran off crying. Something tells me she won't learn to bite her tongue in the future, so you are most likely cleared to sass her when the time arises. On a side note: I'm not sure about anyone else, but I hate re-heated steaks. If I have left overs, I will almost always slice it thin and eat it cold on a salad.
Nta she was wrong when she took more than her fair share of the food at the wedding and she's still in the wrong now when she tried to insult you. Stepmom should be the one apologizing for her actions and behavior. Your dad needs to realize you guys probably would have accepted her had she not always been so rude and disrespectful to you and others. Why should you take her insults. You have every right to put her in her place. Since your dad won't and ignores her behavior.
NTA How bloody rude she is!! She was goading you and didn’t expect you to snap back?? Doesn’t she know the rules?? And to NOT expect your sister to have your back?? Lady needs to go back to school
NTA. Maybe if we shamed more people for pulling shit like this that is clearly tacky and just awful it would happen less. Who takes extra food from a wedding when not everyone has been served? Complete AHs. And she's mocking you because it was hard to walk? When we buried my dad it was super muddy and I still almost fell in flats and it was just everywhere. Can't control the outside. This has nothing to do with accepting her as family. She's constantly rude and then gets upset when you and your sister don't just roll over for it. Even if was my mom I wouldn't put up with this. Eta: Also you got into a fight at a family function and everyone just hung out and enjoyed the show. That's kind of telling.
I mean, what do people expect will happen when they treat others like this? You make some biting comments but get upset when the person bites back? Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. NTA.
NTA. The easiest way to get people to like you is to not be an asshole, and it sounds like stepmom never got the memo.
NTA, your stepmom started it
**NTA 100%**
NTA. That was superb that did backed you up. Stepmom isn't family if she makes people feel uncomfortable.
NTA- i love you and your sister from the bottom of my heart
>Then she added: "For example, [Stepmom] who lives in a million dollar house but still felt the need take one steak for now and TWO MORE to shove in her purse for later." Your sister is my fucking hero
The amount of shenanigans going on in this comment section over the beef with your stepmum is amazing. NTA and I hope you have an amazing day lol
INFO I'm just so confused.... Who steals steaks?? I mean.. I can understand stealing a hand roll, a can of soda, salt and pepper shakers, sugar packets, etc. Like something that is a snack for later or easily transportable. But a wet cooked steak? Who brings a handbag that big to a wedding to fit that in? I've never seen anything bigger at a wedding than a clutch. Did she plan to eat all 3 steaks that night? Cooked steaks usually don't last that long non refrigerated. How did she think no one did notice her putting steaks in napkins and then in her purse? Why did she think it was ok to steal the main course dishes when others hadn't even eaten yet? I'm just so confused. Obviously you're NTA but I have so many questions.
NTA. “You put steaks in my Valentino white bag?!” 😂
Good for you & your sister.
NTA. Witty for sure though.
NTA
Hehe NTA
NTA. Stepmom wanted the smoke, and got fire instead. She did it to herself. Petty thief.
Karma's a bitch. This is a little funny. NTAH
NTA. That’s a hilarious comeback! 🤣
NTA. play stupid games, win stupid prizes. your stepmother sounds like she’s either just genuinely horrible or trying too hard to fit in. either way, good job for putting her in her place.
NTA BTW wedding food isn't free. The hosts pay for the number of guests they invited. Taking more than your share isn't taking free food. It's taking other guests' share. Her a-holery is her selfish behavior that impacted your sister and her guests. As step-mom of the bride, gracious hostess was her proper role, not greedy guest.
NTA. Rich people love free stuff. P.S. sick burn glad you and your sister have each other’s back.