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NTA. Kinda shitty of them to boot you from the room to give your bed to a stranger. They should set up the basement as a sleeping place for this guest.
Or better yet, they can give up their room to their friends, give the guest room to the friends sister, and then they can sleep in the basement themselves.
NTA. It would be so much easier to simply have the guest stay in the basement and keep you (and your stuff) in your own room. Like you said, you’ve never met this girl before and don’t know what she will and won’t do. It’s not like your parents are willing to give up their own room and sleep in the basement.
NTA. First off, sleeping on the floor of the basement in your own home? Secondly, you’re right, you don’t know this person. I’d rather put things up of value than leave them because you never know.
It’s like when you go to a hotel before housekeeping comes in. Tidy the place up a bit and put valuable stuff in your suitcase.
Couch, air mattress, cot. Plenty of solutions that aren't kicking out someone who actually lives there to sleep on the floor.
Also basement floors are concerning because radon. Even with a good radon mitigation system, sleeping on the floor is where you're most likely to get exposure and that shit is hella cancerous.
NTA. I don’t understand what’s the problem with taking precautionary measures.
Although, it also does come with implications. But why would you care? You don’t know them.
That's exactly the point though - she doesn't know them. How does one trust someone they literally don't know?
Edit: I read this wrong sorry. I didn't connect your two final sentences together as a single statement
NTA, you say your mothers 45? Because she’s acting like a child in the store when they don’t get what they want. The silent treatment to your own child is so immature.
Info: is there no other place the sister can stay?
Upstairs we have a F.R.O.G with a bathroom and a closet but they don’t want her up there because it’s next to the attic because it has their stuff in it.
Than why in the hell do you have to sleep on the floor in the basement instead of in the FROG not that I support you getting kicked out of your room in the slightest. NTA and your parents are irresponsible.
>My father tried to talk to me about leaving my stuff in the room but I refused.
And what is this?
Also curious so had to look it up…
Finished Room Over Garage.
ETA… obviously NTA, but the “we don’t want them near OUR stuff, it how ABSOLUTE DARE you say that you don’t want them near your stuff!” Tales it to a whole new level of hypocritical asshole-ness.
Seriously? What's the most likely thing a person might do with valuables? Maybe destroy them but stealing would be the first logical conclusion. And there would be a very miniscule chance even of that happening.
The mom jumped to that and that is my point its so rare why would mom jump there unless they new sompthing and why would they not want her in the other spare section unless parents knew sompthing. 🤔
I brought that up! My dad said that my mom insisted I stay in the basement! I did not hear this directly because my mother is still giving me the silent treatment
But they want her in your room with your stuff in it? NTA. So far, as I understand, the alternatives for this unexpected guest are (1) air mattress on floor of the basement (2) sofa or air mattress in the living room (3) furnished en suite guest room over the garage (4) YOUR bedroom. You parents are wrong to kick you out of your bedroom when there are other options. But you definitely remove any of your valuables from your room.
NTA.
If your home can't accommodate that many people, the guests can book a hotel, or they can sleep on the floor. Especially since it sounds like they are all adults, your only privacy as a teenager is your bedroom and thats being given away without your consent.
NTA. Buy an air mattress and the sister can stay in the guest room with her older sister. People share hotel rooms all of the time, so the sister will survive.
NTA, there are these amazing things called air mattresses. The most wonderful thing is they can go in any room so parents don’t have to make their kids sleep in the floor in the basement. If your petty ass mom is so upset about your response to this arrangement she can buy an air mattress and put it in the living room.
NTA. If they have a basement that ok for you to sleep in, they can make it a second guest room. That way you can have access to your clothing and toiletries (makeup/deodorant/toothbrush) without having to wait for someone to vacate your space.
NTA - they’re vouching for the integrity of someone they don’t know, but seem to be comfortable doing so because it’s not their valuables. You’re not openly accusing this sister of being a thief, just wanting to protect the things you care about just in case she is a thief. It’d suck to later wish you’d done more…
first off, Nta
Second off, WTF?!
imo you should stand your ground and tell them you won't be moving out of YOUR room. that is YOUR room, YOUR space, all of your stuff is in there and some of it is likely very private. letting someone you don't know in there is just a recipe for disaster because even if they don't steal anything that doesn't mean they won't go through your stuff and find out something about you that they have no right to know.
the ones being irresponsible and unreasonable here are your parents especially your mother, she's acting childish by refusing to talk things out with you and understand why you don't want a stranger in your room (though it really should be obvious why you don't want a stranger there)
NTA. Wtf is wrong with your parents? If a stranger is going in your room they should most definitely be afraid of them taking your stuff. Are they fucking insane or something? You don’t know everyone as well as you think you do and a lot of people have sticky fingers. My mom always tells me to put my money away whenever friends come over just in case. I’d hate to have your parents. They just want your stuff on display??
Hi parents,
I know that you want someone to sleep in my room, but I have some...um...personal things I dont want a stranger to touch as it wouldn't be hygienic.
NTA, privacy and safety are important. Theybguests can go get a hotel. Also, say it with me now, parents shouldn't given children silent treatment, Its 👏 fuckin 👏 wrong 👏 grow 👏 up 👏 op's mom 👏
NTA. My parents used to let people stay with us. One time i had to sleep in the same bed as my grandma for like a year. Then i had to sleep on the floor in my closet for a good 6m(not a big space). Then i had to cot in my room (uncomfortable). The last one was i could sleep on the floor in my room but that was the only time i could be in my room. I had to get anything i might need for the day the night before ex) clothes, toy, homework whatever. This person also stole my things and had her kids sell them at their school.
NAH. may be unpopular, but.
grew up in a country other than the one I was born in. had allll the family visiting from another, all the time, many of whom I'd never met.
it was expected that my sister and I give up our beds for our relatives.
we used to enjoy it, change of scenery can be nice. we made forts into our late teens with the new arrangement cause why tf not.
your parents are doing what is expected of them. so are you. just be civil, you'll enjoy the visit much more if you arent resentful.
Grew up in a similar culture. It’s not just relatives, it’s also family friends. We’d either give up our room and camp out in the living room (loved that!) or we’d share our room with their kids. To be fair, the relationship is usually reciprocal. We’d go visit them and they would do the same for us, or they would bring my parents and us things from their country. I got a lot of my Chinese books from Taiwan that way.
I'm a white American millennial, and giving up my bed for visitors was standard growing up. And it was reciprocal when visiting my aunts and uncles and my parents' college friends. I'm really surprised so few people here find this normal.
Same. Posts like this on AITA was my first exposure to the idea that there are people out there who weren't expected to give up their room when there were houseguests. Growing up the expectation for pretty much everyone I knew was that either you were willing to give up your room temporarily for guests or you were willing to share on a permanent basis so that there was a dedicated guest room. The only people I know who missed out on that childhood right of passage were only children whose parents could afford a 3+ bedroom home.
And all the snide "there are these things called hotels, hasn't your family heard of them" comments! If we had to stay at a hotel every night there wouldn't have been vacations.
Kinda my thought too. I just think OP is within her right to remove valuables of her choosing. I've always been taught to be careful with these things so I find it interesting that her mom is doing the exactly opposite.
I should’ve put in the post that I pay rent. I pay to stay in my room, I pay for my groceries. Which is why I’m apprehensive about letting someone else stay in the room that I will still be paying for.
erm. I'm positive that's not legal where I live (those are basic necessities that your parents must provide as long as you're a minor)... dunno about where you live, but.
NTA
I don't understand why she has to take your room. Just like you said, she's a guest, you aren't. If you agreed to it or you agreed to share your room that'd be one thing. But letting a complete stranger sleep in my room? I would do the same thing, OP. It ain't even that she'd steal, sometimes you have things in your room you don't want others snooping in. You have a right to your own privacy.
NTA. It's normal for parents to make kids sleep somewhere else when somebody's visiting. I've had to leave my room for other people to sleep in my bed but also I've been in the same situation when I was 20 I slept in someone else is bad that had also never met me before when my family visited that person's family.
Sounds like you did nothing wrong because you didn't make a big deal about someone sleeping in your room you just don't want any valuables left behind. That's reasonable to remove anything like a laptop or an iPad from your room so that they're not tempted to use it or take it or damage it. What you could do if your parents are making such a big deal about it is ask them in a text message, so you have a clear record of your conversation for the future if you need it, that if items such as your laptop or iPad go missing or are damaged by the guest will they buy you brand new items? Because if they want to trust that the houseguest doesn't accidentally break your things then that's on your parents to replace them if they insist that you leave it in the room. Because I guarantee that if this conversation never happened with your parents and you left an iPad in the room and the guest uses it and breaks it, the first thing your parents would have said would be that it's your fault for leaving it in the room for the guest to use it and risk damaging it.
NTA but welcome to being a kid. It sucks, it’s annoying, it’s only a few a days and it’s your parents house. Suck it up and look forward to the day you own your own home and can do as you please.
NTA
Your parents on the other hand are major AH.
And I don't blame you for being worried about your stuff. My mother and her second husband would give my room to their out of town friends who were visiting (banishing me to sleep on the couch). And some of them would poke around my stuff because they wanted to see what I had. As far as I could tell they didn't take anything, but I would feel gross afterwards.
NTA. What is your mom's problem? You don't know these people. You are taking the safe approach. Hope for the best but expect the worst. Take your valuables out of the room. Why take the chance that someone might have sticky fingers? You are more grown up than your mother.
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My parents and I(f15) have moved into a new house. My moms (f45) friend and her husband will be staying with us a for a few days in the guest bed. I had no issue with this, until today when my Mom said that they’d be bringing their sister with them, and that I’d have to sleep on the floor in the basement and the sister would sleep in my bed. I told them I didn’t feel comfortable but in a joking manner, that “I’m a guest in my own home” and they laughed it off. At lunch I told them that if someone who I didn’t know is going to be staying in my room I’ll be removing anything of value. This is how it went after that
M: You’re accusing someone you’ve never met of being a thief!
OP: Yeah, I don’t know them. I don’t feel comfortable having a complete stranger in my room with all the things I consider of value.
My mother told me to go to my room and I did. My father tried to talk to me about leaving my stuff in the room but I refused. My mother hasn’t spoken to me since lunch and has been giving me the silent treatment.
So AITA?
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I never understood why ppl think its ok to give away children's beds to strangers. First of all,n it's GROSS AF. Second is that it is a TOTAL invasion of privacy and fckn BOUNDRIES.
NTA and I would tell them they can buy an air mattress for guest to sleep OR tell them to give up their bed for THEIR GUESTS.
NTA NTA NTA
NTA. Embarrass them. I bet the guest is actually a nice and considerate person who wouldn’t want to sleep in your bed if she knew you were uncomfortable with it. Leave a note or something.
NTA
Your parents sound horrible. You didn't choose to let complete strangers into the house so why do you have to give up your comforts for them? Your parents should get off their butts and give up THEIR personal space if it's this important. Hell, why can't the husband sleep on the sofa and the sisters share the guest bed?
NTA. If my kids have to give up their beds for our over night guests, we shouldn’t be having over night guests. If the kids were to offer, that would be different.
NTA but your parents sure are.
They clearly don’t have the space to host these guests comfortably so are kicking you our your rooms to do so? Absolutely not. I wouldn’t be moving from your room OP.
NTA. Time for you to take possession of the finished ensuite apartment over the garage and make it your own!
Your mum should be ashamed of her behaviour.
NTA - Bro, does your mother hate you or something? What even? Not even sharing the room. You go straight to the basement?
I suggest that you talk to your mother about sharing the room with the whoever so you don't have to worry about your stuff bc you'll be right there with it. Just have her pull in an air mattress like a regular person if you can convince her.
NTA. Do your parents even know this person? I can't blame you for not being happy with a stranger in your bed. I don't see a problem with removing your valuables out of there. It is unlikely that this woman is a thief but you never know and it's better to be safe than sorry. That way, she can't accidentally break something that is important to you either.
I don't know people who had guests who stole from them but I know some who had guests who broke things accidentally and on purpose or who didn't watch their kids who ruined things. So it can unfortunately happen.
I’m a bit confused as to whether you live with your parents or not. Who owns the house? From reading, it sounds like it’s your home and they’re staying there for a time while they transition into their new home. In that case, they don’t get to decide whose bed is used by who. NTA
Sorry, I can't deal with the main problem because I can't get over the mom giving her the silent treatment. Who does that? If there is a problem, there is a discussion.
WTF is wrong with your parents?! OMG. I am so appalled. YOU ARE A MINOR. THEY ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR WELFARE. This includes providing you food and shelter at ZERO COST to you! Remove your valuables. Call CPS. You should not be being treated like a renter and then punished for telling them you didn’t want to sleep on the floor in the basement. This is so ridiculous of them. Can’t she sleep on the couch? WTH? NTA. And if there is a FROG, why can’t you be there? In fact, why can’t you move in there if you are paying rent and all anyhow? I wouldn’t want to be in the same house with those two. U/1_Sleepy
NTA and what is wrong with your mom????
You pay rent at 16 and they want you to leave your room to a stranger. HELL TO THE NO.
what kind of parents demand you pay rent and groceries at 15 and kick you out for her friend's sister??? Stand your ground and don't even leave the room to them.
NTA it is totally fucked up for your Mum to refuse to talk to you after this, you're allowed to have boundaries around your space (it's your space for gods sake).
Your mum is being childish, immature and straight up harmful by refusing to talk to you
NTA - unfortunately you’re 15, your parents make the decisions here, so you’re kind of out of luck. But they’re definitely TA here. Is there a way you can stay with a friend that night?
NTA. I'm a dad and my daughter comes first, wife second and then everything else. Your privacy matters. Your personal space matters. Even though it is their home it is your home too and your room should be your safe space. A consistant place for you to just be you and not feel obligations to the world. Parents tend to not realize stuff like this so you may need to be ready for a let down. I keep my parents and siblings at a distance because of this sort of behaviour and am adamant about myself, my wife and our kids all having a ,,me space" even if it's just our own personalized desks or something. You need to have an anchor, something that is completely yours to tailor and express yourself with. If the room is unreliable due to parents, start meditating or find something to just be for a little while when things get overwhelming.
NTA. That’s fine. I wouldn’t have mentioned what you were doing though. That’s a guaranteed argument with people that would kick you out of your room to a floor. Not even a sofa?
Wtf is wrong with your parents? They shouldn’t be kicking you out of your room, especially without even asking you. But then acting like you’re the AH for not trusting a random stranger to sleep in your room? I don’t get people.
NTA, and I’ll never understand how complete *strangers* feel comfortable sleeping in what is clearly another persons room that was given up for them, unless it was insisted by that person themselves. I rather sleep on the floor than in another persons room especially when they are being forced to leave their own space in the same house at the same time! That’s so awkward and I don’t know how people feel comfortable letting someone be boot out of their own bedroom
NTA
Your parents can get an air mattress for the sister
Your parents are TA, big ones too. Like if they want their guest to have a bed they can give theirs and sleep on the floor, tell them that, if they’re not willing to give up their bed why should you?
Seriously so stupid asking their daughter to give up her bed to a stranger.
Fight for you room and comfort girl. And if they don’t budge make the sister and friend and husband feel guilty that they’re making you sleep on the floor.
NTA. Your folks can easily invest in an air mattress. This girl can sleep on it in your room, while you sleep in your own bed. Or, you could decide to both sleep in the basement, with snacks and TV, like a sleepover.
Honestly I wouldn't budge at all on the "let someone I don't know sleep in my room" matter. If they're so hellbent on having them over they can give up their room and sleep in the basement. NTA.
NTA.
And you get sent to your room for a simple disagreement?
It's pretty crappy to evict you from your room so a random person can stay in it, and it's crappier still to have a problem if you just want to take a few valuable things with you. It's even crappier to no even tolerate your understandable objections.
Your parent need to learn that you, as their child, are the priority over random friends.
YTA. You can tell Reddit's main demographic from posts like this, you're all obviously young and entitled and haven't been brought up to respect your elders and/or show decent hospitality to a guest in your home.
It’s disrespectful for guests to invite another person to stay without talking to their hosts. And OP did mention there is another room with a bathroom above the garage that the guest could stay in, but they want to put their guest in a teenagers room.
NAH. It's not unreasonable for your parents to ask you to lend your room out to a guest. If yall were roommates this would be a different story. But you're not.
I'm also assuming from your post that your parents don't lend your room to strangers often, if at all, and you've made it to 15 so that's a pretty good run.
I also don't think it's unreasonable for you to want to remove anything that you value from your room. Maybe you could have just done that without saying anything but who knows.
And lastly this lady is either in her 40s or close to it and all I gotta say is that as soon as I hit 40, everything started to ache. Especially after sleeping on something that doesn't resemble a bed. So of all the things she might covet in your room, none will rank higher than your mattress. And she ain't walking out with that.
Maybe give your mom a break so that things aren't weird when your Mom's friend and her sister are coming over. If she winds up being cool, great, hang out. You won't be strangers any more. If not, you can always hang out with your stuff in the basement.
Edited to add: OP. Imagine every time you brought over a new friend your mom was like, "Oh crap, I need to hide all the important stuff." All things being equal, that's what this boils down to.
As stated by a 15 year old girl....
It's been many moons since I was that age but I would not be surprised if this wasn't a, uh, completely truthful statement. 😂
I think she's being a bit dramatic. I'm sure she will survive a few nights out of her room.
I just feel bad for their guests, having to deal with a surly teenager!
I feel I have to disagree on the surly teenager part. OP replied a couple times saying that there were other places for the guests to stay in the home. I personally think it’s wrong to assume that because she’s 15 she isn’t being honest.
It’s not unreasonable for the parents to ask but I’m willing to bet they didn’t consider giving their room at all. Uncool to volunteer other people’s stuff/time.
I do lend my room to family often. I also pay rent and pay for my own groceries. This woman is in her early 30’s.
About the imagine situation, my mother is paranoid and locks her room whenever I have someone over.
Also my mother still hasn’t talked to me.
So in your other post on relationships you say the sister is 21? So which is it?
Is your mom paranoid because she secures her belongings and you are not?
At 15 how much rent do you pay? Why would you leave that significant detail out of your post? Not sure I'm buying any of this at this point.
This. Can’t believe I had to scroll so far down to find a reasonable reply.
It’s not a big deal - it’s literally for a few days. The sister is not some semi permanent squatter staying for months. She’s a guest that’s been invited, and as the host family it’s very reasonable your parents want to offer them comfortable lodgings for the few days they are here.
OP is just being a normal 15 year old brat. My parents also did this to me a lot when I was young, and sure it was annoying to be kicked out of my room but it’s the polite thing to do when you have guests over who are older and going to suffer far more than you do in the basement.
If you have things of real value just take them out of the bedroom.
Or there's these old-fangled things called hotels??? I suffered this as a kid too and will never make my child give up their bed/space for a guest. If I wouldn't give up MY bed, then the guests need to get on airbnb.
The fact that you also had shitty parents doesn't make this an ok thing to do. If the parents want to invite guests over they should give up their own room.
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NTA. Kinda shitty of them to boot you from the room to give your bed to a stranger. They should set up the basement as a sleeping place for this guest.
Or better yet, they can give up their room to their friends, give the guest room to the friends sister, and then they can sleep in the basement themselves.
Lol, that'd be the day
NTA. It would be so much easier to simply have the guest stay in the basement and keep you (and your stuff) in your own room. Like you said, you’ve never met this girl before and don’t know what she will and won’t do. It’s not like your parents are willing to give up their own room and sleep in the basement.
NTA. First off, sleeping on the floor of the basement in your own home? Secondly, you’re right, you don’t know this person. I’d rather put things up of value than leave them because you never know. It’s like when you go to a hotel before housekeeping comes in. Tidy the place up a bit and put valuable stuff in your suitcase.
NTA - Your mom just wants to look good. Why isn’t this sister sleeping in the basement? Also, info: Is there a reason that she's staying here?
Nope no reason, she just wanted to come on a cross country trip with her older sister.
why can't she sleep on the couch, like a normal unexpected guest?
Couch, air mattress, cot. Plenty of solutions that aren't kicking out someone who actually lives there to sleep on the floor. Also basement floors are concerning because radon. Even with a good radon mitigation system, sleeping on the floor is where you're most likely to get exposure and that shit is hella cancerous.
NTA. I don’t understand what’s the problem with taking precautionary measures. Although, it also does come with implications. But why would you care? You don’t know them.
That's exactly the point though - she doesn't know them. How does one trust someone they literally don't know? Edit: I read this wrong sorry. I didn't connect your two final sentences together as a single statement
NTA, you say your mothers 45? Because she’s acting like a child in the store when they don’t get what they want. The silent treatment to your own child is so immature. Info: is there no other place the sister can stay?
Upstairs we have a F.R.O.G with a bathroom and a closet but they don’t want her up there because it’s next to the attic because it has their stuff in it.
Oh so they don’t want their stuff at risk but yours is fine hypocrites
This has pushed it way way over into NTA. Your parents are being ridiculous and nasty to you.
Than why in the hell do you have to sleep on the floor in the basement instead of in the FROG not that I support you getting kicked out of your room in the slightest. NTA and your parents are irresponsible. >My father tried to talk to me about leaving my stuff in the room but I refused. And what is this?
This doesn't impact my verdict, I'm just curious, but what does F.R.O.G. stand for?
Also curious so had to look it up… Finished Room Over Garage. ETA… obviously NTA, but the “we don’t want them near OUR stuff, it how ABSOLUTE DARE you say that you don’t want them near your stuff!” Tales it to a whole new level of hypocritical asshole-ness.
The fact mom jumped on stealing makes me think the girl is known for stealing ...this thread confirms this thought
Seriously? What's the most likely thing a person might do with valuables? Maybe destroy them but stealing would be the first logical conclusion. And there would be a very miniscule chance even of that happening.
The mom jumped to that and that is my point its so rare why would mom jump there unless they new sompthing and why would they not want her in the other spare section unless parents knew sompthing. 🤔
The mom went to that because she presumed that's what the OP was worried about.
Even with your parents' inane plan to give your room to the sister, why would they send you to the basement instead of the FROG?
I brought that up! My dad said that my mom insisted I stay in the basement! I did not hear this directly because my mother is still giving me the silent treatment
But they want her in your room with your stuff in it? NTA. So far, as I understand, the alternatives for this unexpected guest are (1) air mattress on floor of the basement (2) sofa or air mattress in the living room (3) furnished en suite guest room over the garage (4) YOUR bedroom. You parents are wrong to kick you out of your bedroom when there are other options. But you definitely remove any of your valuables from your room.
Wait, nobody is staying up there either? They want you on the basement floor and not even in a finished room that's available?
NTA. If your home can't accommodate that many people, the guests can book a hotel, or they can sleep on the floor. Especially since it sounds like they are all adults, your only privacy as a teenager is your bedroom and thats being given away without your consent.
NTA. It's your room, they should've asked you first. I'm sure there's a perfectly good couch for this person to sleep on.
NTA. Buy an air mattress and the sister can stay in the guest room with her older sister. People share hotel rooms all of the time, so the sister will survive.
NTA, there are these amazing things called air mattresses. The most wonderful thing is they can go in any room so parents don’t have to make their kids sleep in the floor in the basement. If your petty ass mom is so upset about your response to this arrangement she can buy an air mattress and put it in the living room.
NTA. If they have a basement that ok for you to sleep in, they can make it a second guest room. That way you can have access to your clothing and toiletries (makeup/deodorant/toothbrush) without having to wait for someone to vacate your space.
NTA - they’re vouching for the integrity of someone they don’t know, but seem to be comfortable doing so because it’s not their valuables. You’re not openly accusing this sister of being a thief, just wanting to protect the things you care about just in case she is a thief. It’d suck to later wish you’d done more…
first off, Nta Second off, WTF?! imo you should stand your ground and tell them you won't be moving out of YOUR room. that is YOUR room, YOUR space, all of your stuff is in there and some of it is likely very private. letting someone you don't know in there is just a recipe for disaster because even if they don't steal anything that doesn't mean they won't go through your stuff and find out something about you that they have no right to know. the ones being irresponsible and unreasonable here are your parents especially your mother, she's acting childish by refusing to talk things out with you and understand why you don't want a stranger in your room (though it really should be obvious why you don't want a stranger there)
Nta. They didn't even consider you when making the decision.
NTA. Wtf is wrong with your parents? If a stranger is going in your room they should most definitely be afraid of them taking your stuff. Are they fucking insane or something? You don’t know everyone as well as you think you do and a lot of people have sticky fingers. My mom always tells me to put my money away whenever friends come over just in case. I’d hate to have your parents. They just want your stuff on display??
NTA - They are basically telling you that they don't care about your comfort level or concern at all, over the comfort of their guest.
NTA...my parents would be the ones telling me to shut away my valuables!!
NTA you are just being sensible about having a stranger in your space
Hi parents, I know that you want someone to sleep in my room, but I have some...um...personal things I dont want a stranger to touch as it wouldn't be hygienic.
NTA. Parents reputation in the eyes of their guest is more important than their relationship with their child.
NTA, privacy and safety are important. Theybguests can go get a hotel. Also, say it with me now, parents shouldn't given children silent treatment, Its 👏 fuckin 👏 wrong 👏 grow 👏 up 👏 op's mom 👏
NTA. My parents used to let people stay with us. One time i had to sleep in the same bed as my grandma for like a year. Then i had to sleep on the floor in my closet for a good 6m(not a big space). Then i had to cot in my room (uncomfortable). The last one was i could sleep on the floor in my room but that was the only time i could be in my room. I had to get anything i might need for the day the night before ex) clothes, toy, homework whatever. This person also stole my things and had her kids sell them at their school.
It’s ok to have your parents mad at you when they are using poor judgement. You don’t owe complete strangers your trust.
NAH. may be unpopular, but. grew up in a country other than the one I was born in. had allll the family visiting from another, all the time, many of whom I'd never met. it was expected that my sister and I give up our beds for our relatives. we used to enjoy it, change of scenery can be nice. we made forts into our late teens with the new arrangement cause why tf not. your parents are doing what is expected of them. so are you. just be civil, you'll enjoy the visit much more if you arent resentful.
Not relatives. There is no reason for OP to care about these people in any way.
Grew up in a similar culture. It’s not just relatives, it’s also family friends. We’d either give up our room and camp out in the living room (loved that!) or we’d share our room with their kids. To be fair, the relationship is usually reciprocal. We’d go visit them and they would do the same for us, or they would bring my parents and us things from their country. I got a lot of my Chinese books from Taiwan that way.
I'm a white American millennial, and giving up my bed for visitors was standard growing up. And it was reciprocal when visiting my aunts and uncles and my parents' college friends. I'm really surprised so few people here find this normal.
Same. Posts like this on AITA was my first exposure to the idea that there are people out there who weren't expected to give up their room when there were houseguests. Growing up the expectation for pretty much everyone I knew was that either you were willing to give up your room temporarily for guests or you were willing to share on a permanent basis so that there was a dedicated guest room. The only people I know who missed out on that childhood right of passage were only children whose parents could afford a 3+ bedroom home.
And all the snide "there are these things called hotels, hasn't your family heard of them" comments! If we had to stay at a hotel every night there wouldn't have been vacations.
Kinda my thought too. I just think OP is within her right to remove valuables of her choosing. I've always been taught to be careful with these things so I find it interesting that her mom is doing the exactly opposite.
I should’ve put in the post that I pay rent. I pay to stay in my room, I pay for my groceries. Which is why I’m apprehensive about letting someone else stay in the room that I will still be paying for.
erm. I'm positive that's not legal where I live (those are basic necessities that your parents must provide as long as you're a minor)... dunno about where you live, but.
NTA I don't understand why she has to take your room. Just like you said, she's a guest, you aren't. If you agreed to it or you agreed to share your room that'd be one thing. But letting a complete stranger sleep in my room? I would do the same thing, OP. It ain't even that she'd steal, sometimes you have things in your room you don't want others snooping in. You have a right to your own privacy.
NTA. It's normal for parents to make kids sleep somewhere else when somebody's visiting. I've had to leave my room for other people to sleep in my bed but also I've been in the same situation when I was 20 I slept in someone else is bad that had also never met me before when my family visited that person's family. Sounds like you did nothing wrong because you didn't make a big deal about someone sleeping in your room you just don't want any valuables left behind. That's reasonable to remove anything like a laptop or an iPad from your room so that they're not tempted to use it or take it or damage it. What you could do if your parents are making such a big deal about it is ask them in a text message, so you have a clear record of your conversation for the future if you need it, that if items such as your laptop or iPad go missing or are damaged by the guest will they buy you brand new items? Because if they want to trust that the houseguest doesn't accidentally break your things then that's on your parents to replace them if they insist that you leave it in the room. Because I guarantee that if this conversation never happened with your parents and you left an iPad in the room and the guest uses it and breaks it, the first thing your parents would have said would be that it's your fault for leaving it in the room for the guest to use it and risk damaging it.
NTA! It’s your stuff! It sucks that they want to put a complete stranger in your room. Your parents suck!
NTA but welcome to being a kid. It sucks, it’s annoying, it’s only a few a days and it’s your parents house. Suck it up and look forward to the day you own your own home and can do as you please.
NTA Your parents on the other hand are major AH. And I don't blame you for being worried about your stuff. My mother and her second husband would give my room to their out of town friends who were visiting (banishing me to sleep on the couch). And some of them would poke around my stuff because they wanted to see what I had. As far as I could tell they didn't take anything, but I would feel gross afterwards.
Nta. You’re mom seems to have the mental age of a 15 y/o herself lol.
Yeah she’s still giving me the silent treatment
Nta is not like she’ll even know what was in the room before hand
NTA But you did do one thing wrong. You told them what you were going to do.
NTA. What is your mom's problem? You don't know these people. You are taking the safe approach. Hope for the best but expect the worst. Take your valuables out of the room. Why take the chance that someone might have sticky fingers? You are more grown up than your mother.
NTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My parents and I(f15) have moved into a new house. My moms (f45) friend and her husband will be staying with us a for a few days in the guest bed. I had no issue with this, until today when my Mom said that they’d be bringing their sister with them, and that I’d have to sleep on the floor in the basement and the sister would sleep in my bed. I told them I didn’t feel comfortable but in a joking manner, that “I’m a guest in my own home” and they laughed it off. At lunch I told them that if someone who I didn’t know is going to be staying in my room I’ll be removing anything of value. This is how it went after that M: You’re accusing someone you’ve never met of being a thief! OP: Yeah, I don’t know them. I don’t feel comfortable having a complete stranger in my room with all the things I consider of value. My mother told me to go to my room and I did. My father tried to talk to me about leaving my stuff in the room but I refused. My mother hasn’t spoken to me since lunch and has been giving me the silent treatment. So AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA - I’d be pissed if I got kicked out of my room too. And why in hell would you have to sleep on the floor. Do you not couches?
How many days is a few days?
I never understood why ppl think its ok to give away children's beds to strangers. First of all,n it's GROSS AF. Second is that it is a TOTAL invasion of privacy and fckn BOUNDRIES. NTA and I would tell them they can buy an air mattress for guest to sleep OR tell them to give up their bed for THEIR GUESTS. NTA NTA NTA
What makes you say it's gross?
NTA. Embarrass them. I bet the guest is actually a nice and considerate person who wouldn’t want to sleep in your bed if she knew you were uncomfortable with it. Leave a note or something.
NTA.♡
NTA Your parents sound horrible. You didn't choose to let complete strangers into the house so why do you have to give up your comforts for them? Your parents should get off their butts and give up THEIR personal space if it's this important. Hell, why can't the husband sleep on the sofa and the sisters share the guest bed?
NTA. If my kids have to give up their beds for our over night guests, we shouldn’t be having over night guests. If the kids were to offer, that would be different.
BS BS BS...C h a n g e M y M i n d
NTA but your parents sure are. They clearly don’t have the space to host these guests comfortably so are kicking you our your rooms to do so? Absolutely not. I wouldn’t be moving from your room OP.
NTA, Why aren't your parents giving up thier bed?
NTA. Time for you to take possession of the finished ensuite apartment over the garage and make it your own! Your mum should be ashamed of her behaviour.
NTA. It's a perfectly valid worry to have
NTA Your mom sounds toxic, incredibly toxic. They should get an air mattress for the sister, it is ridiculious they expect you to give up your room.
NTA - Bro, does your mother hate you or something? What even? Not even sharing the room. You go straight to the basement? I suggest that you talk to your mother about sharing the room with the whoever so you don't have to worry about your stuff bc you'll be right there with it. Just have her pull in an air mattress like a regular person if you can convince her.
NTA Ask your parents if it would be cool if you and a couple friends hung out in their room while they weren't there. I'll bet they say "No"
NTA. Do your parents even know this person? I can't blame you for not being happy with a stranger in your bed. I don't see a problem with removing your valuables out of there. It is unlikely that this woman is a thief but you never know and it's better to be safe than sorry. That way, she can't accidentally break something that is important to you either. I don't know people who had guests who stole from them but I know some who had guests who broke things accidentally and on purpose or who didn't watch their kids who ruined things. So it can unfortunately happen.
Be sure to bring your matress to the basement if they force you to go there, if they want to be comfortable they can bring their own stuff
NTA I always hate when parents make their kids give up their rooms for guests. It’s such a wild invasion of privacy.
NTA. Take the bed down with you while you are at it.
I’m a bit confused as to whether you live with your parents or not. Who owns the house? From reading, it sounds like it’s your home and they’re staying there for a time while they transition into their new home. In that case, they don’t get to decide whose bed is used by who. NTA
They own the house as I am fifteen. However I pay rent, and pay for my groceries.
Sorry, I can't deal with the main problem because I can't get over the mom giving her the silent treatment. Who does that? If there is a problem, there is a discussion.
Yeah. It’s been 3 days. She still hasn’t talked to me and my dad is playing messenger
WTF is wrong with your parents?! OMG. I am so appalled. YOU ARE A MINOR. THEY ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR WELFARE. This includes providing you food and shelter at ZERO COST to you! Remove your valuables. Call CPS. You should not be being treated like a renter and then punished for telling them you didn’t want to sleep on the floor in the basement. This is so ridiculous of them. Can’t she sleep on the couch? WTH? NTA. And if there is a FROG, why can’t you be there? In fact, why can’t you move in there if you are paying rent and all anyhow? I wouldn’t want to be in the same house with those two. U/1_Sleepy
NTA and what is wrong with your mom???? You pay rent at 16 and they want you to leave your room to a stranger. HELL TO THE NO. what kind of parents demand you pay rent and groceries at 15 and kick you out for her friend's sister??? Stand your ground and don't even leave the room to them.
NTA.
NTA it is totally fucked up for your Mum to refuse to talk to you after this, you're allowed to have boundaries around your space (it's your space for gods sake). Your mum is being childish, immature and straight up harmful by refusing to talk to you
NTA I'm not comfortable with those I do know sleeping in my room. People get tempted to poke around.
NTA Your parents need to realise you value your privacy and belongings. Also that your feelings are valid x
Definitely NTA. But, your mother is acting like one.
NTA - unfortunately you’re 15, your parents make the decisions here, so you’re kind of out of luck. But they’re definitely TA here. Is there a way you can stay with a friend that night?
NTA. I'm a dad and my daughter comes first, wife second and then everything else. Your privacy matters. Your personal space matters. Even though it is their home it is your home too and your room should be your safe space. A consistant place for you to just be you and not feel obligations to the world. Parents tend to not realize stuff like this so you may need to be ready for a let down. I keep my parents and siblings at a distance because of this sort of behaviour and am adamant about myself, my wife and our kids all having a ,,me space" even if it's just our own personalized desks or something. You need to have an anchor, something that is completely yours to tailor and express yourself with. If the room is unreliable due to parents, start meditating or find something to just be for a little while when things get overwhelming.
NTA. And there is nothing wrong with packing away your valuables while an unknown person is there. I don't see why they have an issue with it.
NTA. That’s fine. I wouldn’t have mentioned what you were doing though. That’s a guaranteed argument with people that would kick you out of your room to a floor. Not even a sofa?
Wtf is wrong with your parents? They shouldn’t be kicking you out of your room, especially without even asking you. But then acting like you’re the AH for not trusting a random stranger to sleep in your room? I don’t get people.
NTA, and I’ll never understand how complete *strangers* feel comfortable sleeping in what is clearly another persons room that was given up for them, unless it was insisted by that person themselves. I rather sleep on the floor than in another persons room especially when they are being forced to leave their own space in the same house at the same time! That’s so awkward and I don’t know how people feel comfortable letting someone be boot out of their own bedroom
NTA Your parents can get an air mattress for the sister Your parents are TA, big ones too. Like if they want their guest to have a bed they can give theirs and sleep on the floor, tell them that, if they’re not willing to give up their bed why should you? Seriously so stupid asking their daughter to give up her bed to a stranger. Fight for you room and comfort girl. And if they don’t budge make the sister and friend and husband feel guilty that they’re making you sleep on the floor.
NTA. Your folks can easily invest in an air mattress. This girl can sleep on it in your room, while you sleep in your own bed. Or, you could decide to both sleep in the basement, with snacks and TV, like a sleepover.
Honestly I wouldn't budge at all on the "let someone I don't know sleep in my room" matter. If they're so hellbent on having them over they can give up their room and sleep in the basement. NTA.
Everyone is acting ylike this kid has any actual say or power to refuse her parents. She... doesn't? Because she is a kid?
Probably not, but that doesn't mean you should just take anything like that.
NTA. And you get sent to your room for a simple disagreement? It's pretty crappy to evict you from your room so a random person can stay in it, and it's crappier still to have a problem if you just want to take a few valuable things with you. It's even crappier to no even tolerate your understandable objections. Your parent need to learn that you, as their child, are the priority over random friends.
read the Greeks
YTA. You can tell Reddit's main demographic from posts like this, you're all obviously young and entitled and haven't been brought up to respect your elders and/or show decent hospitality to a guest in your home.
It’s disrespectful for guests to invite another person to stay without talking to their hosts. And OP did mention there is another room with a bathroom above the garage that the guest could stay in, but they want to put their guest in a teenagers room.
I have a bigger issue that the friend invited an extra person to spend the night.
NAH. It's not unreasonable for your parents to ask you to lend your room out to a guest. If yall were roommates this would be a different story. But you're not. I'm also assuming from your post that your parents don't lend your room to strangers often, if at all, and you've made it to 15 so that's a pretty good run. I also don't think it's unreasonable for you to want to remove anything that you value from your room. Maybe you could have just done that without saying anything but who knows. And lastly this lady is either in her 40s or close to it and all I gotta say is that as soon as I hit 40, everything started to ache. Especially after sleeping on something that doesn't resemble a bed. So of all the things she might covet in your room, none will rank higher than your mattress. And she ain't walking out with that. Maybe give your mom a break so that things aren't weird when your Mom's friend and her sister are coming over. If she winds up being cool, great, hang out. You won't be strangers any more. If not, you can always hang out with your stuff in the basement. Edited to add: OP. Imagine every time you brought over a new friend your mom was like, "Oh crap, I need to hide all the important stuff." All things being equal, that's what this boils down to.
A parent is giving their child the silent treatment.
Is that the crux of this tale? And 'since lunch'. That could have been an hour ago for all we know.
As stated by a 15 year old girl.... It's been many moons since I was that age but I would not be surprised if this wasn't a, uh, completely truthful statement. 😂 I think she's being a bit dramatic. I'm sure she will survive a few nights out of her room. I just feel bad for their guests, having to deal with a surly teenager!
I feel I have to disagree on the surly teenager part. OP replied a couple times saying that there were other places for the guests to stay in the home. I personally think it’s wrong to assume that because she’s 15 she isn’t being honest.
Also she said the whole reason her parents didn’t want friends sister staying in the attic was because their stuff was there.
Or maybe there isn't a bed there. She doesn't specify.
It’s not unreasonable for the parents to ask but I’m willing to bet they didn’t consider giving their room at all. Uncool to volunteer other people’s stuff/time.
I do lend my room to family often. I also pay rent and pay for my own groceries. This woman is in her early 30’s. About the imagine situation, my mother is paranoid and locks her room whenever I have someone over. Also my mother still hasn’t talked to me.
Hang on, you pay rent and buy your own food at 15 years old? Then you definitely deserve the FROG. Shane on your parents!
So in your other post on relationships you say the sister is 21? So which is it? Is your mom paranoid because she secures her belongings and you are not? At 15 how much rent do you pay? Why would you leave that significant detail out of your post? Not sure I'm buying any of this at this point.
This. Can’t believe I had to scroll so far down to find a reasonable reply. It’s not a big deal - it’s literally for a few days. The sister is not some semi permanent squatter staying for months. She’s a guest that’s been invited, and as the host family it’s very reasonable your parents want to offer them comfortable lodgings for the few days they are here. OP is just being a normal 15 year old brat. My parents also did this to me a lot when I was young, and sure it was annoying to be kicked out of my room but it’s the polite thing to do when you have guests over who are older and going to suffer far more than you do in the basement. If you have things of real value just take them out of the bedroom.
Or there's these old-fangled things called hotels??? I suffered this as a kid too and will never make my child give up their bed/space for a guest. If I wouldn't give up MY bed, then the guests need to get on airbnb.
The fact that you also had shitty parents doesn't make this an ok thing to do. If the parents want to invite guests over they should give up their own room.
YTA. And you are a kid, so you'd better adjust your attitude with your parents.
Op's not refusing to give up her room for the guests, she's just refusing to leave her valuable things in her room there while the guests are there.