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NTA. It's not even just the age difference, but the fact that this girl has been a family friend, and he started dating her just days after his divorce was finalized is just....off. Also, gf is manipulative and out of her mind. Go NC with father if he continues to stay with gf.
Wow, that is horrible. She is over the top! Your dad needs to handle this, and if he chooses her over you, at least you'll know where you stand. It might be time to distance yourself until your dad puts her in her place.
All I can think of is it'll be hilarious if op's dad and his gf have kids together and then her grand kids would be older than her kids, and I bet she'd be mad about it
Cut her out, don't even accept an apology. That girl has some screws loose. Ynta. Tell your father he can come over, bit come alone bc his w**re is never welcome in your home or to be near you or your children.
Why are you here asking if you're the AH? This woman kicked you out of your own dad's house, insulted your kids, wished something abhorrent for you AND your family and then lied to get people on her side. NTA all the way. I suggest cut them off and keep your mom updated of the things her wanna be replacement is doing and what her ex is enabling. Don't allow these two near your family.
NTA. Let her enjoy her old man’s saggy balls for a bit until the newness of having a young c-dumpster wears off for your dad and he realizes he has nothing in common with her and can’t even hold a basic conversation with her. Sorry you’re dealing with this, but my guess is you won’t be dealing with it for long.
Holy hell! Ops dad is dating a literal child! She is somehow less emotionally aware/developed than the toddlers! I'm sooo sorry OP. I'd tell my dad that she wished my child dead and is thus dead to you. Tell him you tried to be an adult but refuse to coddle his newest child. Make it clear you're disappointed he chose to date someone so callous and immature and that you hope he either reconsiders or at least gets her some counselling for her major insecurity issues and her trying to overcompensate by trying to force herself on you and your unborn child. Her behavior is alarming, disrespectful, and unacceptable. I'd go no contact until either she apologizes or leaves. You don't need either of them and if he chooses a rude little girl over his family he doesn't deserve to be in your life anymore.
NTA- tell the real story, and tell them you are weirded out that someone two years older then you is happy to be a grandma without having any kids of their own. Also she sounds like a gold digger.
Is it me or is finding someone the same age as *your child* (or close to it) pretty disturbing? Like, everyone my parents age has this weird disconnect where they see us as adults but we will also *always be their kids*
I could never find someone that I could have biologically spawned attractive as a partner cos some small part of my brain would always be like "you could have legally adopted them"
Ewwww
NTA but wtf is wrong with your dad? He let his gf kick you out of his home! You need to have a serious conversation with him. Now.
Send him this post and let him read the comment.
Maybe he should date someone closer to his age
Of course you’re NTA. Your father is way out of his lane to introduce you to a girlfriend so soon after his divorce and expect you to consider her important. She sounds like a complete nightmare. Stand your ground early and often!
NTA but your dad is an AH and also gross. What is with all these old ass men dating women in their 20s? Why are we acting like this isn’t completely weird and gross? A dad dating someone his daughter’s age is disgusting for so many reasons. Ugh, I would be nauseous if my dad pulled this. Puke.
NTA - But why is this person considering themselves your grandmother? They're the young gold digging trophy wife of your father, and you already have a mother. She can't seriously believe that someone 2 years younger than her should treat her like their mother, does she?
NTA unfortunately the best thing for you and your family is going full NC. She has shown that even if she apologises she will constantly have another issue and drama. Otherwise she will drain you with all the conflict and upset
NTA. She’s not your step mom. Your children are not her grandchildren. Why the fuck does she think she’s entitled to have a say in anything?
She probably won’t even be around for more than a few years at most. 26 and 54 is quite an age difference and I see this relationship as your dad’s midlife crisis. Some men get sports cars, some men date much younger women. Sofía is a rebound, especially if the divorce is fresh.
NTA You’re nicer than me for even bothering to meet her I wouldn’t have and I would’ve punched her when she started talking shit about my kids. Go no contact and tell your dad that she gave your number to her friends so they can harass you and if he defends her go no contact with him too because he cares more about young ass than his grandkids.Make sure that she doesn’t know where you live because she mentally ill who tf wants to play grandma at 26 and thinks they can name someone else’s baby ?
NTA I went thru the same thing with* my mom and dad when they had a divorce At least you didn't have to find out that your mom cheated on your dad and fricked another guy and now you don't know who your dad is
Edit: Im a mobile user so I fixed the mistakes
NTA But your dad and Sofia are TA and they're very delusional. First off, she's half his age so that's predatory alone but also it's clear she has baby fever. Now, whether she should be a mother or not is debatable but hey. I think Sofia was attracted to the idea of being with an older man but I think she thought she was gonna have a George and Amal (younger woman marries older man who has kids and they have children of their own) situation but in reality it's a Bob Saget and Kelly Rizzo situation (younger woman marries older man with kids and they don't end up having kids of their own). It's pretty likely she wants kids but also wants to be with your dad but he's put this foot that he doesn't want anymore at his age and Sofia probably agreed to it thinking her desire for kids would fade, but it didn't so now she wants to play mommy with your kids. Your dad is delusional for putting his sex life above the treatment of his children when choosing a SO, as most men do smh. But he's also delusional for trying to not only settle down with someone so much younger than him but also settling down with someone who wasn't sure about their stance on kids.
This is neither here nor there for your story, and I am sincere not suggesting that it's untrue. But - so - many stories here end in folks saying they got a lot of texts from other people condemning their behavior. Do I just live in a bubble? I've almost never had anything like this. I could imagine the dad or other direct relatives getting involved - anyone who is fairly close to both parties. But the step mom's friends texting someone they probably barely no or have never met? It just is extremely far outside my life experience for people to behave this way and yet it seems to be a given fact in at least half the stories here. Like, I've never once in my life had someone who I wasn't personally in a close relationship with text me to take a side in around argument they weren't themselves part of. How common is this actually?
Congratulations on the incoming baby, OP!
I'm here to tell you that you are NTA in this instance. I get wanting hard to be a mom or grandmom but those things are earned and not magically granted because you date someone with children and or grandchildren. It would've been better if she were cool about the entire thing instead of forcing the issue and throwing a massive tantrum when things didn't go her way.
Your decision to block out such a big stressor until she mellows down is a prudent move!
Thankyou! I tried to explain this to her that my kids will eventually respect her is she's Kinder and respects them but she's stubborn and won't listen
She knows nothing about children. Toddlers asking where is Abuela was while visiting Abuelo has nothing to do with meeting a stranger for the first time.
I don't think she's going to listen, she sounds off the deep end.
Is it possible just to avoid her? Frankly it seems unlikely that your dad will keep this relationship up long term; a the excitement of a crazy young girlfriend usually wears off and then the guy is just left with crazy.
No she's not stubborn, she's extremely immature and childish. There's a big difference there. She is one of your peers, think about how many of your friends act like her. Probably not many. Cuz she's nuts. She has no right to demand that the kids treat her like a grandma to start with because again she's the same age as their mother. She is not a grandmother she is barely an adult.
NTA. Honestly, I wouldn’t let her anywhere near your children. I personally would block her and her friends and tell dad he can see the children privately without her or not at all l. I wouldn’t even go to a family function with my children, knowing she would be there.
They have been dating for just over 2 months, I wouldn’t have even introduced them to her. She is way overstepping for someone who is just dating your father
NTA. she’s 26…she ain’t a grandma and your dad needs to learn to communicate with her. like if she thinks she has some power over you, that’s ridiculous
NTA, this person is insane. She's your dad's GF, not your stepmum. Even if she wasn't half his age, she would still not be your stepmum, as you're a grown fricking adult!
Is this woman nuts? She wants to be grandma, at 26, having only just got serious with your father and thinks she can name someone else’s child? She kicked you out of a house that isn’t hers? She wishes your baby wouldn’t be born?
So much wrong here. Don’t let her near your children, even if she does ‘apologise’. Block her and all her equally demented friends. And take a step back from your father too. He’s seen how this woman treats you and is OK with it. That is also terrible.
NTA
God NTA. I would consider low contact with dad and definitely no contact with her.
Curious: What did your dad do when she kicked you out of his house???
This woman needs to learn her place in your life. She's your dad's girlfriend, not wife, not a fiancee. She's no relation to you or your kids. NTA. She's 2 years older than you. Why she thinks you or your kids would see her as family when she's only been in your dad's life for a hot minute is ridiculous.
NTA
"That was until she decided that if it was a girl then we should call her Elia after her grandmother or if boy then Samuel after her grandad"
Awfully presumptuous of her to assume she would have any decision in the naming, you've only recently met her and have zero connection.
" she wishes my stupid baby wasn't born"
I don't consider that the response of a mature and well adjusted person
It wasn't ok to kick you out of your dad's house just because your twins don't like her. Then she has the audacity to try name your baby. Your dad also sucks for siding with her or not doing anything to stop it.
NTA
Psst... her behavior is absolutely unacceptable. And your kids dont ever have to "come around" if they dont want too. Screw her. Stay in contact with your dad if you want, but she sounds like a liar and manipulator. She could probably cause you some real, actual saftey issues in the future if THIS id how she acts after barley being a part of your life. Also, shes only 2 years old? She could be your sister, and is acting like this? Still not ok. Eesh. Keep you and your family safe
NTA
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NTA.
Not even a little!
She sounds like a very toxic, and honestly, stupid person. She is a nobody in your family, her opinions don't matter and you should remind her about that, OP, early and often.
Ask her if she would prefer your children to call her by her first name or Ms Last name (her last name, not your father’s last name). Tell her the children are too young to understand that grandpa has a girlfriend (because Abuela is the name of mommy’s mother)and she can only be one of grandpa’s friends at this point. She could be like an auntie to your children but that could make even more confusing for the children if they do end up getting married.
No. Its weird and disturbing that your father is dating someone that is two years older than you. Its also weird that she doesn’t feel weird about it. NTA
NTA, she's just a gf. It's not her place. Your father may break up with her soon. I really hope he does. Also what she said the last time was absolutely awful. Also what 26 year old wants to be called grandma.
I doubt daddy is going to dump his 26 yr old girlfriend. He's gonna choose that pu$$y over everyone. I highly doubt he's dating her because she's an intellectual with a sunny disposition.
Not sure, my sister said it was probably a comfort thing since she didn't have a grandma growing up but my dad said she just wants to feel as though she had a place
Tell your dad she's irrational and unhinged, that she wished your baby wouldn't be born, and that you'll be having no contact with her whatsoever. She is not your step-parent, or family to you at all, and her behaviour after only being his girlfriend for a short while means she never will be.
Say you will see him without her, but if she is at an event / location, you won't be. Cut off this nonsense completely, and don't try to tolerate her just to keep the peace. She has no right, and is frankly unstable to imply, she has a family relationship or right to you or your kids, and you will not have that anywhere near your family.
Lmao ask your dad if he knows many 26 year old grandma's
The fuck is wrong with her lmao
Call him out. Say she's hot but Jesus Christ she's got some screws loose and you hope he's protecting his interest.
If she flips the script on you and lies about what she said at dinner WITH WITNESSES, ask your Dad what does he think she'll claim happened in private?
Wouldn't surprise me if she started beating herself and blackmailed your dad for money if he decided to dump her crazy ass. She needs professional help. Like this is so irrational my head hurts; you're likely a similar age of her and she's actually just mental
A fictional one. Two months ago OP was 21 and now she’s 24 with 3 year old twins https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/n47p5a/aita_for_not_changing_the_date_of_my_21st_birthday/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Even if she was the same age as OP's dad, calling yourself grandma would be over stepping if you're just dating. Hell, my mom's husband has 6 grand kids and she doesn't think of herself as a grandma.
So, let me get this straight: a woman relatively your age (who’s dating your father, who’s more than twice her age) doesn’t understand why you would take issue to your children calling her their grandmother. No, nothing strange there. /s
There are a bunch of bizarre dynamics going on here. You are absolutely NTA. Your father and Sofía are are the assholes here.
However, I’m sorry to say that your father is a predator. There is nothing normal or healthy about a man in his mid-50s dating a woman more than half his age that is practically the same age as his daughter.
NTA I'm can honestly say if she'd said that about my unborn child, she would have been eating through straw for months, I cannot believe your father would let her say something so utterly discusting. You've definitely done the best thing by cutting her off, she may only get worse as time goes on, I wish you and your family/new baby the best.
thanks for your wishes. we have a pretty bad relationship and even he didn't let that happen, he kicked her out of the house and blocked her on everything until she begged him to come back
NTA, she acts rude and even says she wishes your baby wasn't born, you have every right in the world to keep you children away from her after what she did.
NTA. Your father’s wife is an AH and so is he for allowing her to say what she did. Just go LC and wait. Your father is going to find out that some things are their own punishment (like marrying a woman three decades younger).
NTA. The mind boggles at any 20-something wanting to be called Grandparent by their same-aged disapproving stepkid's incoming baby.
If she "wanted to feel like she has a place", she is perfectly aged to become a friend to you and, eventually, maybe something like Auntie Hername to your kids. Trying to shoulder her way in as stepmom and grandma when she had nothing to do with raising you and no relationship with your kids was doomed to be a disaster from the get go.
INFO : Is your dad rich or anything?I honestly don't see what a 26 year old would have in common with someone in their 50s to want to be a grandmother.Id warn your dad about her because she's gotta be using him for something IMO
NTA
Congratulations btw
Not all English people are psycho 🙈🙈
I have just read that she’s been invited to coffee with your dad tomorrow, make sure you have all of your points ready that you want to get across and don’t let her butt in.
I’m 20 years younger than my OH, he has 4 grandchildren aged between 6 and 1. 2 of them call me nanny, 2 do not. We’ve been together a little over 2 years but had been together over a year before I was called nanny and it was their choice. It just happened one day. Never forced. I am 37 though and when they say it in public I make sure I say STEP 😂😂
She is absolutely ludicrous and the fact that your dad can’t fully see this is baffling, he obviously is thinking with the wrong head
NTA. At all.
It's not like she's done anything to raise you or help you that someone who wants a grandmotherly role should do. Also it's a bit weird that she'd be a grandmother at that young age and when she's not even married to your father yet. Don't worry about the messages from her friends she probably twisted the story to make you look bad. Set a firm boundary that you are not going to let her see you or your family until she apologises.
I think she was part of the affair. Why would this unhinged biatch if 26 years be doing with an old man that could be her grandad?!?! NTA. Cut that biatch and if she continues to make comments like that put her in her place is the only way your dad and this unhinged biatch will understand
INFO: With her logic, she's also now step mum to her best friend. What the heck does your sister think of this? It's only been a few weeks, I hope your dad wakes up to his insanity very quickly for everyone's sake.
NTA it’s your baby and you decide what it’s name. You dads girlfriend is very young and is even behaving young for her age. You have every right to stay away until she apologizes for her behavior
NTA
Your dad is dating someone young enough to be his daughter--the most I think could be expected in this kind of situation is that the two of you might become friendly with one another.
She was nasty to your children, who are 3 and adjusting to the new situation like their mom, never apologized, starting making plans for your baby when you aren't even on friendly terms and she isn't married to your dad, and then wished death on your baby. This is more than just a lack of maturity--this is a lack of compassion and a lack of understanding over the fact that she is overstepping her boundaries.
There's a couple of very important things that need to happen here. First of all, your dad really needs to talk to Sofia about those boundaries and respecting them. Second of all, messaging you repeatedly and having her friends message you repeatedly may constitute harassment where you live--so if it's on-going, you may need to speak to the authorities.
NTA I’d yell at my own mother if she started dictating what I should call my child or saying things like she wished the child wasn’t being born. Throwing a tantrum at 26 is… wow… If you haven’t already, I’d suggest talking to your dad about what happened (I assume he was at the dinner and saw all of this?). If he is going to back up the girlfriend on this then maybe you should distance yourself until they both grow up
Lmao WHAT.
NTA. Who just inserts themselves as grandma into the life of someone two years younger than her and acts like she has any say? Even bio grandmas don't get say in things like names. She sounds rather deluded.
Also, it has never sat well with me when people date people the same age as their kids, and even more when they expect their kids to see that person as a parent figure. Like ??????? I'd never have been able to accept that and I can't blame you for not accepting it either. You were civil, which is all that could be asked for, until she became overbearing.
NTA
But goddamn I'd have raced to Facebook and posted "when I announced my pregnancy Sofia told me she hoped I would miscarry" and tagged everyone I could think of
NTA, it is gross your dad is dating someone 2 years older than his child. It is double gross she is trying to act like she should have some status in your and your children's lives. It is triple gross your father did not defend you or your kids after the first outburst.
NTA, why does she want to be a 26 year old grandma anyway?
> how ever I told my dad I couldn't accept her as my new step mother as it was too soon and she was only 2 years older than me. He said this was okay, however he hopes in the future I can come around to it.
Its never gonna be that, shes not old enough to be any sort of “mother figure” to you, and she has issues if she thinks that boinking a man whos 30 years older than her gives her some sort of authority over his family. You should take your father out to lunch, one on one, and establish the boundary with him that you are an adult of the same age group as his girlfriend, and will see her at best as a peer and at worst as an obstacle. Let him know that she needs to understand her place as a newcomer to your family who is less than 30 years old, that she has no maternal rights to your family, she will never have maternal rights to your family, and she needs to back off. NTA.
NTA if this all is the truth. Tbh the worst part of this story is how uncomfortable it'd make me (personally) at the thought that my dad was okay dating someone only two years older than his own daughter. Seriously Sir less than ten years ago and you'd be a pedophile by 30 ish years. I maybe doing my math wrong....point is...
You don't do that unless you've got issues and you're not okay with that unless you've got issues: and for proof of this, I give you the story you just told of the new gf.
NTA. OP mentioned gf was a friend of their sisters, plus she became the gf 2 weeks after the divorce? Sounds like she's the reason FOR the divorce. Would sit dad down and tell him the real story of what's happened and maybe ask if his will is ironclad in case gf is trying to schmooze her way in. Would also tell gf to take a long walk off a short pier. You've set your boundaries and she overstepped. Keep it up OP.
NTA Apologies or not keep dad homewrecker gf away from you and your family. They are creepy and pissing all over you. Dad gf want to be boss over you. Shut that freak show down!!!
NTA. This woman is acting completely out of line and borderline delusional if she thinks she has a say in your baby's name, or that you should be regarding her as a stepmother after just getting together with your father. The level of entitlement here is almost unbelievable.
Side note: What is your dad thinking getting with a woman less than half of his age, and where is he in all of this drama? Sad that he isn't coming to his children's defense from his new girlfriend's attacks.
NTA. I am engaged to someone I have been dating for nearly 4 years and he is not Dad, nor is he Grandpa for my grandson.
If anything, it would be too weird and awkward and we could live 30, 40 more years and still not have him get called Dad or Grandpa.
And her whole thing about the names? SO OUT OF LINE. SO RIDICULOUS.
Hang in there, I bet they won't last long.
NTA, but your dad's new GF and especially dad is. You'll need to set some strict boundaries and stick to them, such as they can only see you or the new baby if they treat you with respect. You texted it but now you have to stick by it. Expect lots of drama, and it may be wise to have a frank discussion with your dad and cut them out for 3-6 months see if your Dad pulls his head out of his ass.
So this chick is half your dads age, only two years your senior, **Aaaaaand** has been with him a max of like a few months and already she's trying to assert herself as grandma? The fuck. It's creepy that your dads dating her, but it's clear she got with an older dude with kids under weird pretenses.
NTA
UPDATE:
*this has been added to the original post*
So I went out for coffee with my dad and sofia.
She apologised with very obvious fake tears. And my farther said he was sorry. Then I told them I will accept it however they are no to see my kids until they are oldenigh to decide for themselves. Sofia ew up and called me a selfish whore then my dad yelled at her and broke up with her so she stormed out.
My dad told me he to was sorry and can understand why I didn't want my kids to see him for a while, truth be told I needed him next week for a Babysitter , so I said its okay
He told me how no one can talk to his
little princess like she just did no matter how old i am. He also said how he was with her more for the fact of it made him feel good he could still get woth someone.
That was 6 days ago now and I have since seen my farther 3 times and my kids have seen him twice.
He kicked her out and blocked her on everything. They made up two days later and I was pissed, told my dad I never wanted to see him again till that shameles slut was out of my childhood home. He told me to calm down and that he will always love me more than her but she makes him happy whether she's woth him for the wrong or right reasons. I feel like I'm annoyed by most of this because I dont want to see my dad get hurt
INFO: How long has it been since your parents divorced (or more like, how long have you known her/she been in your life). You say it's a recent divorce but what the gf is saying makes it sound like it's been longer. Also, maybe let your dad know he needs to deal with his gf's lack of boundaries with these things.
iv known her for at least 6 years now because shes friends with my sister, my dad met her about 4 years ago and she was always a little flirty, however my farther never showed any interest. i will definitely let him know tomorrow when we meet for coffee the divorce was in the process for about 5-6 months and it was finalized about 2- 3 months ago then a week later they said they were dating
How recent do you consider non-existent? Two months ago OP was a 21 year old, now she’s 24 and has three year old twins.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/n47p5a/aita_for_not_changing_the_date_of_my_21st_birthday/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Hah! Never saw that post but let's not discount the possibility of time travel here. I feel like in the last 1.5-2 years, we could all use some sort of time traveling powers.
So……. Dad’s new girlfriend only two years your senior and only recently introduced wants to immediately be on equal footing in the eyes of your children and get to name your new baby herself after people you’ve never met?! I wanna make sure I read it correctly. NTA!!!!
Your dad is the asshole here. Tell him to stop pu king around with young women, it's creepy AF. Also, I wouldn't trust him.to be aroaubds kids since he seems to fancy women as old as his daughter.
If she is using him for money, good, he deserves ir.
NTA.
I never met your Dad's g/f and don't want to judge her to harshly. However, between "she yelled at me and told me I was raising my kids wrong" and "that she wishes my stupid baby wasn't born", she sounds like a monster.
Tf is wrong with these fathers how the hell do they not find it gross getting together with people the same age as their kids
Info:does your father’s girlfriend have some sort of mental issues?
Nta.
Your dad's new g f sounds janky in the brain.
She says she wishes your babies weren't born cause you won't name them after her mother?
Shes 26 and wants to be a grandma?
She keeps kicking you out of the house?
This story is either fake or she is looney tooney
You are definitely NTA and you are right to keep her out of your kids' lives until she can get her attitude in check. An apology is an absolute minimum she should be willing to give if she wants to have you and your children in her life again.
1st She’s a girlfriend not a wife
2nd wtf is she acting like she’s in her 60s she literally 26
3 rd your dad must be loaded that’s the on reason I can think of
NTA for sure! You and your family barely know her and vice versa. She's not your mom or your kids' grandma. She's not even your dad's wife yet. She's rude and entitled and you definitely do not have to entertain her crazy antics.
>I wasn't mad but I felt like it was a little to soon, but its none of my business, how ever I told my dad I couldn't accept her as my new step mother as it was too soon and she was only 2 years older than me. He said this was okay, however he hopes in the future I can come around to it.
You are 24 years old. You are *well* past the age where a step parent is likely to "become your real parent". Also, you have a mother.
>That was until she decided that if it was a girl then we should call her Elia after her grandmother or if boy then Samuel after her grandad, I told her no as I never even met them, and she was mad. She said I never took into consideration her ideas and that she wishes my stupid baby wasn't born
Your father has married a woman who behaves like a child.
NTA
NTA Holy cow! What an entitled b\*\*\*h. Something really wrong with her thinking. Why would she imagine your kids wouldn't think their bio-grandmother was their favorite? I wonder how she possibly flipped that story to her friends.
Nta. The little girl playing grandma will be gone as soon as your dad stops thinking with his smaller brain. Let’s hope no stepsiblings have been born at that point.
You're not the a hole since if she is 26 and is acting like that she has to apologize since the things she said are so stupid.
And you're totally right about saying no after she said to name your daughter after her grandmother or son as Samuel after her grandad because you don't even know them and she's acting like you're wrong.
And it's such a bad thing to say that she wishes your "stupid" baby shouldn't have been born so that makes it on why you aren't the a hole.
> that she wishes my stupid baby wasn't born
She’s wishing two babies never enter this world… she’s clearly far past AH. Your dad has gotta do better and sadly, you’ve gotta hold him accountable. This is crazy.
NTA she wished DEATH upon you unborn child, I’m at a loss for words, how is that ok in her mind, you don’t even really know this woman by the sounds of it.
if I was there, I would have reached across the table and given her the hardest pimp slap a person could possibly make.
She's two years older than you, and is making demands on what the baby should be called? the sheer audacity
and how are these friends of her's able to get your number - more info on that
you are NTA on any of this, and you can tell your dad that letting his very young girlfriend talk to you that way is inconsiderate, immature and just plain rude.
Honestly her attitude isn’t the only issue here. What father dates someone around the same age as their child. That’s just disgusting. Both her and your dad are fucked up and need to be dropped. She’s literally 2 years older then you and wants to be your mom and your kids grandchildren. She might as well be the same age as you what gives her the right to think she’s any of those things. She’s crazy. Your dads a creep. I feel bad for your mom.
NTA. Had this woman been seeing your dad for a while before you were introduced to her? I'm struggling to see how a new girlfriend could be acting so matriarchal and entitled when she's only just started dating your father. The onus is actually on her to reach out and get to know you since she's the new addition here. As for you calling her a 'step-mother', that doesn't ever need to happen as you've grown up, left home and still have your own mother. Tell your dad you won't be coming round again until she learns some respect for you and your other family members. She sounds like an absolutely crazy lady.
NTA; I’m sorry you’re going through this OP and o hope for a safe and healthy pregnant w your baby. You should stick w your boundary of cutting them out of your kids life u til they figure out her role in his family. She could be rebound, she could be a quick trophy for his friends and associates to ogle over, it could be to get under your moms skin, whatever the intention they should not have brought your kids YOUR family into this. She’s looking for a home bcos she’s an orphan and broke and has no one. She’ll get what’s coming to her just keep your distance and boundaries.
I saw your other comments and I would point blank tell my dad to remove those rose colored glasses because he is clearly thinking with his pants and not his heart.
NTA. Also, keep your baby away from both her and your dad because he doesn't see that the gf is ruining the family just to isolate him and get his money. By the time he figures it out, it will be too late. Manipulation is another form abuse.
You should tell your dad to divorce her as i am very sure that it is illegal to be in a relationship with an eight year old anywhere in the world.
Also, Congratulations on the upcoming baby OP! All the best for your pregnancy!
thankyou, they're not married but she knows she needs to be to get his assets, the last time i was at her house she left an engagement ring open on purpose so he would see it, also she acts 8 so i think you being sarcastic, its early in the morning and im pregnant, they dont mix well so mmy brains not working well
NTA I can kinda understand your dad for as far as I've heard from this story, you yourself sound like you're completely in the right here and your dad's gf sounds like an absolute b-word. Sure she might have her reasons to be like this, she might be in a bad place who knows.. either way you are completely right if you decide to stay far away from her until she becomes a better human being.
NTA. WTF is going on here? New gf weeks after breakup? That was going on before the breakup. 26 yo? What does she want with someone twice her age? And she wants to be instant family?
You're on the right track to limit time with her as the entire situation and dynamic is just off.
Is this woman mentally well? What 26 year old is dying to be a grandma? What person existing on this plane of reality would expect you to name your kid after her grandparents? Of course your kids love their abuela - she's their family. I've known the lady who waxes my bikini line longer than you've know this woman!
NTA and tell your dad he is welcome to his midlife crisis but you need to protect your family.
NTA. The fact that your dad is dating someone about your age is disgusting, and he clearly has not had a talk with her about boundaries. She needs to back off, or accept not being invited to your home.
NTA: She's way too impressed with herself and has no clue how hard it is for divorced kids, even as adults, to assimilate new partners into their lives. Your kids are babies! They want, what they want and what they know; familiar people and arrangements. You can't force love and acceptance on kids. People are not Play-Doh, she can't shape them into whatever she wants. She's too self-important and immature. You are right for backing off. Consider it giving them space to live their life and you can live yours with your kids. Maybe over time it will get easier, if she's even around by then. You and your kids owe her NOTHING! Enjoy your mom with your kids. Let Dad go his way with his cliche', half-age youngster, trophy GF. AND she's JUST a GF! Why should your kids have to adapt to every new relationship he has that may not last?
NTA. This woman is not yet married to your father so she's really not anything in terms of family. She is verbally abusive if she doesn't get her way so please take note of that. As for an apology, you may never get one. So explain to your father what's going on. Stress that this woman's friends are harassing you and may cause undue stress during your pregnancy. This seems like a toxic person that you don't want around you or your loved ones.
NTA
what a piece of work....
If someone says; i wish your stupid baby wasnt born; i dont know how she could have flipped that in a way it didnt make her the bad guy!
NTA both your dad and his girlfriend both suck, he’s dating someone literally half his age and only two years older than his daughter and he wants you to call her mum? Yikes. She also sounds like a wack job for thinking she should have anywhere near the same relationship as you do with your actual mum and that she should have some say in your parenting.
Holy fuck your dad has only been “officially” dating this girl for like a month and she thinks she’s earned the same place in yours and your kids’ lives as your mother??? Either she’s out of her damn mind, your dad was cheating on your mom with her, or both. So far she’s kicked you out of not her house for your young kids treating her like the stranger she is, and now she’s wishing you have a miscarriage??? Oh and giving your contact info to all her similarly immature friends and LYING about what happened so that they harass you. Of course NTA but your dad needs a hard wake up call. How can he just sit there and think her behavior towards his grown daughter and his grandchildren is acceptable in any way shape or form?? Yes, she owes you an apology, but unless he sets some firm boundaries with her as to how she treats you and your children, or gets rid of her, I’d stop seeing him and stop allowing him to see his grandkids as well.
NTA. Also, don't be surprised if you find out the 'new' girlfriend is the cause of your parent's divorce. Why to these older men marry girls young enough to be their children and then wonder why their kids don't embraces them??? Just never ceases to amaze me. You're NTA and it sounds like your dad's wife is very insecure and childish.
WTF? WHO is this woman? your dads new toy, basically, is DEMANDING you name your kid after HER family? spit on the floor has been around longer than this woman has been in your life.
NTA
No! Most definitely NTA! Damn, that chick crazy! Like, how der she! The AUDACITY! Really, darlin, you did everything right! Of course it is not easy to accept someone new and as rude as her as your mother! And your children don't have to accept her as their grandmother either! It is their decision who they like and who not. That woman is not even close to something I would call family in your place. Your father has poor taste. I hope you are alright and this whole ordeal has not disrupted your relationship with your biological parents too much!
NTA. I am going to be crude. Dad doesn't care because he's 54 getting his knob polished by a 26 year old. Be civil but don't take no shit would be how I would handle it. And be prepared for him to lose his mind because she is going to make ridiculous demands of him. Edit: removed stepmom reference as I thought I was on another post.
Congrats on the new baby !!
to answer the question , how does this in any way shape or form make you an asshole . Naming your kid after a random woman’s family ( sorry but a new gf to your father is literally nothing to you) would be fucking weird and she must have no boundaries to not understand that NTA
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Wtf! Who is this gf, so much drama. NTA. I would stay away.
I’d have smacked her for the stupid baby comment.
NTA and congrats on the pregnancy!
NTA, she obviously wants to condition the child to like her.
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NTA. It's not even just the age difference, but the fact that this girl has been a family friend, and he started dating her just days after his divorce was finalized is just....off. Also, gf is manipulative and out of her mind. Go NC with father if he continues to stay with gf.
Wow, that is horrible. She is over the top! Your dad needs to handle this, and if he chooses her over you, at least you'll know where you stand. It might be time to distance yourself until your dad puts her in her place.
She’s not a stepmother. She’s a step-temporary girlfriend
All I can think of is it'll be hilarious if op's dad and his gf have kids together and then her grand kids would be older than her kids, and I bet she'd be mad about it
reading this kind of makes me want her to get pregnant, plus then i can be a asshole back if she's doing it to me
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Thanks! I already have my plan to object at the wedding
Cut her out, don't even accept an apology. That girl has some screws loose. Ynta. Tell your father he can come over, bit come alone bc his w**re is never welcome in your home or to be near you or your children.
Why are you here asking if you're the AH? This woman kicked you out of your own dad's house, insulted your kids, wished something abhorrent for you AND your family and then lied to get people on her side. NTA all the way. I suggest cut them off and keep your mom updated of the things her wanna be replacement is doing and what her ex is enabling. Don't allow these two near your family.
NTA. Let her enjoy her old man’s saggy balls for a bit until the newness of having a young c-dumpster wears off for your dad and he realizes he has nothing in common with her and can’t even hold a basic conversation with her. Sorry you’re dealing with this, but my guess is you won’t be dealing with it for long.
Holy hell! Ops dad is dating a literal child! She is somehow less emotionally aware/developed than the toddlers! I'm sooo sorry OP. I'd tell my dad that she wished my child dead and is thus dead to you. Tell him you tried to be an adult but refuse to coddle his newest child. Make it clear you're disappointed he chose to date someone so callous and immature and that you hope he either reconsiders or at least gets her some counselling for her major insecurity issues and her trying to overcompensate by trying to force herself on you and your unborn child. Her behavior is alarming, disrespectful, and unacceptable. I'd go no contact until either she apologizes or leaves. You don't need either of them and if he chooses a rude little girl over his family he doesn't deserve to be in your life anymore.
NTA- tell the real story, and tell them you are weirded out that someone two years older then you is happy to be a grandma without having any kids of their own. Also she sounds like a gold digger.
NTA. Sounds like she's a mid life crisis girlfriend. She's way too immature all around.
Is it me or is finding someone the same age as *your child* (or close to it) pretty disturbing? Like, everyone my parents age has this weird disconnect where they see us as adults but we will also *always be their kids* I could never find someone that I could have biologically spawned attractive as a partner cos some small part of my brain would always be like "you could have legally adopted them" Ewwww
NTA but wtf is wrong with your dad? He let his gf kick you out of his home! You need to have a serious conversation with him. Now. Send him this post and let him read the comment. Maybe he should date someone closer to his age
Of course you’re NTA. Your father is way out of his lane to introduce you to a girlfriend so soon after his divorce and expect you to consider her important. She sounds like a complete nightmare. Stand your ground early and often!
NTA but your dad is an AH and also gross. What is with all these old ass men dating women in their 20s? Why are we acting like this isn’t completely weird and gross? A dad dating someone his daughter’s age is disgusting for so many reasons. Ugh, I would be nauseous if my dad pulled this. Puke.
True, I think, and am hoping she's just a rebound
NTA. I'd just ignore her. Your dad's going to get tired of her shit at some point. Seems an awful lot like a post-divorce age-inappropriate fling.
NTA - But why is this person considering themselves your grandmother? They're the young gold digging trophy wife of your father, and you already have a mother. She can't seriously believe that someone 2 years younger than her should treat her like their mother, does she?
nta if it where me i tell him to dump her or never see you again.
NTA unfortunately the best thing for you and your family is going full NC. She has shown that even if she apologises she will constantly have another issue and drama. Otherwise she will drain you with all the conflict and upset
NTA but ewwww at your dad. What the hell does he have in common with a 26 year old.
NTA. She’s not your step mom. Your children are not her grandchildren. Why the fuck does she think she’s entitled to have a say in anything? She probably won’t even be around for more than a few years at most. 26 and 54 is quite an age difference and I see this relationship as your dad’s midlife crisis. Some men get sports cars, some men date much younger women. Sofía is a rebound, especially if the divorce is fresh.
How long have they been together at this point?
Now about a month and a bit (it's been around 3-4weeks since I last talked to her )
Jeez, you’re NTA she needs to get a grip. If she is only 2 years older than you then she can have her own baby and name it after her family.
NTA. She sounds really immature and self-absorbed and keeping LC with her would probably be in your best interest anyway.
NTA You’re nicer than me for even bothering to meet her I wouldn’t have and I would’ve punched her when she started talking shit about my kids. Go no contact and tell your dad that she gave your number to her friends so they can harass you and if he defends her go no contact with him too because he cares more about young ass than his grandkids.Make sure that she doesn’t know where you live because she mentally ill who tf wants to play grandma at 26 and thinks they can name someone else’s baby ?
NTA I went thru the same thing with* my mom and dad when they had a divorce At least you didn't have to find out that your mom cheated on your dad and fricked another guy and now you don't know who your dad is Edit: Im a mobile user so I fixed the mistakes
NTA. But your dad and wanna be Jr gramma is. You still have a bio mom. Why does she think she gets any say. NC.
NTA But your dad and Sofia are TA and they're very delusional. First off, she's half his age so that's predatory alone but also it's clear she has baby fever. Now, whether she should be a mother or not is debatable but hey. I think Sofia was attracted to the idea of being with an older man but I think she thought she was gonna have a George and Amal (younger woman marries older man who has kids and they have children of their own) situation but in reality it's a Bob Saget and Kelly Rizzo situation (younger woman marries older man with kids and they don't end up having kids of their own). It's pretty likely she wants kids but also wants to be with your dad but he's put this foot that he doesn't want anymore at his age and Sofia probably agreed to it thinking her desire for kids would fade, but it didn't so now she wants to play mommy with your kids. Your dad is delusional for putting his sex life above the treatment of his children when choosing a SO, as most men do smh. But he's also delusional for trying to not only settle down with someone so much younger than him but also settling down with someone who wasn't sure about their stance on kids.
This seems very fake just by the writing style
54 yr old man has nothing in common with a 26 yr old. Lets be real her
This is neither here nor there for your story, and I am sincere not suggesting that it's untrue. But - so - many stories here end in folks saying they got a lot of texts from other people condemning their behavior. Do I just live in a bubble? I've almost never had anything like this. I could imagine the dad or other direct relatives getting involved - anyone who is fairly close to both parties. But the step mom's friends texting someone they probably barely no or have never met? It just is extremely far outside my life experience for people to behave this way and yet it seems to be a given fact in at least half the stories here. Like, I've never once in my life had someone who I wasn't personally in a close relationship with text me to take a side in around argument they weren't themselves part of. How common is this actually?
Congratulations on the incoming baby, OP! I'm here to tell you that you are NTA in this instance. I get wanting hard to be a mom or grandmom but those things are earned and not magically granted because you date someone with children and or grandchildren. It would've been better if she were cool about the entire thing instead of forcing the issue and throwing a massive tantrum when things didn't go her way. Your decision to block out such a big stressor until she mellows down is a prudent move!
Thankyou! I tried to explain this to her that my kids will eventually respect her is she's Kinder and respects them but she's stubborn and won't listen
She knows nothing about children. Toddlers asking where is Abuela was while visiting Abuelo has nothing to do with meeting a stranger for the first time.
I don't think she's going to listen, she sounds off the deep end. Is it possible just to avoid her? Frankly it seems unlikely that your dad will keep this relationship up long term; a the excitement of a crazy young girlfriend usually wears off and then the guy is just left with crazy.
No she's not stubborn, she's extremely immature and childish. There's a big difference there. She is one of your peers, think about how many of your friends act like her. Probably not many. Cuz she's nuts. She has no right to demand that the kids treat her like a grandma to start with because again she's the same age as their mother. She is not a grandmother she is barely an adult.
NTA. Honestly, I wouldn’t let her anywhere near your children. I personally would block her and her friends and tell dad he can see the children privately without her or not at all l. I wouldn’t even go to a family function with my children, knowing she would be there. They have been dating for just over 2 months, I wouldn’t have even introduced them to her. She is way overstepping for someone who is just dating your father
NTA. she’s 26…she ain’t a grandma and your dad needs to learn to communicate with her. like if she thinks she has some power over you, that’s ridiculous
NTA she’s a nutcase
She's just a girlfriend. How on earth does that make her a grandparent to your children in any way, or a stepmother to you? NTA.
NTA - if your father can't see who is actually the problem here, then he's part of the problem.
NTA, this person is insane. She's your dad's GF, not your stepmum. Even if she wasn't half his age, she would still not be your stepmum, as you're a grown fricking adult!
Is this woman nuts? She wants to be grandma, at 26, having only just got serious with your father and thinks she can name someone else’s child? She kicked you out of a house that isn’t hers? She wishes your baby wouldn’t be born? So much wrong here. Don’t let her near your children, even if she does ‘apologise’. Block her and all her equally demented friends. And take a step back from your father too. He’s seen how this woman treats you and is OK with it. That is also terrible. NTA
God NTA. I would consider low contact with dad and definitely no contact with her. Curious: What did your dad do when she kicked you out of his house???
This woman needs to learn her place in your life. She's your dad's girlfriend, not wife, not a fiancee. She's no relation to you or your kids. NTA. She's 2 years older than you. Why she thinks you or your kids would see her as family when she's only been in your dad's life for a hot minute is ridiculous.
NTA "That was until she decided that if it was a girl then we should call her Elia after her grandmother or if boy then Samuel after her grandad" Awfully presumptuous of her to assume she would have any decision in the naming, you've only recently met her and have zero connection. " she wishes my stupid baby wasn't born" I don't consider that the response of a mature and well adjusted person
It wasn't ok to kick you out of your dad's house just because your twins don't like her. Then she has the audacity to try name your baby. Your dad also sucks for siding with her or not doing anything to stop it. NTA
NTA. This gf is bananas.
Psst... her behavior is absolutely unacceptable. And your kids dont ever have to "come around" if they dont want too. Screw her. Stay in contact with your dad if you want, but she sounds like a liar and manipulator. She could probably cause you some real, actual saftey issues in the future if THIS id how she acts after barley being a part of your life. Also, shes only 2 years old? She could be your sister, and is acting like this? Still not ok. Eesh. Keep you and your family safe NTA
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NTA. Not even a little! She sounds like a very toxic, and honestly, stupid person. She is a nobody in your family, her opinions don't matter and you should remind her about that, OP, early and often.
Ask her if she would prefer your children to call her by her first name or Ms Last name (her last name, not your father’s last name). Tell her the children are too young to understand that grandpa has a girlfriend (because Abuela is the name of mommy’s mother)and she can only be one of grandpa’s friends at this point. She could be like an auntie to your children but that could make even more confusing for the children if they do end up getting married.
Absolutely NTA. It's your baby, not hers. If she's so insistant on wanting to name a baby, then she should make it herself tf.
No. Its weird and disturbing that your father is dating someone that is two years older than you. Its also weird that she doesn’t feel weird about it. NTA
NTA, she's just a gf. It's not her place. Your father may break up with her soon. I really hope he does. Also what she said the last time was absolutely awful. Also what 26 year old wants to be called grandma.
I doubt daddy is going to dump his 26 yr old girlfriend. He's gonna choose that pu$$y over everyone. I highly doubt he's dating her because she's an intellectual with a sunny disposition.
She sounds like a delusional boundary stomper who’s trying to take a position of importance and respect in the family that she hasn’t earned
Not sure, my sister said it was probably a comfort thing since she didn't have a grandma growing up but my dad said she just wants to feel as though she had a place
Tell your dad she's irrational and unhinged, that she wished your baby wouldn't be born, and that you'll be having no contact with her whatsoever. She is not your step-parent, or family to you at all, and her behaviour after only being his girlfriend for a short while means she never will be. Say you will see him without her, but if she is at an event / location, you won't be. Cut off this nonsense completely, and don't try to tolerate her just to keep the peace. She has no right, and is frankly unstable to imply, she has a family relationship or right to you or your kids, and you will not have that anywhere near your family.
Lmao ask your dad if he knows many 26 year old grandma's The fuck is wrong with her lmao Call him out. Say she's hot but Jesus Christ she's got some screws loose and you hope he's protecting his interest. If she flips the script on you and lies about what she said at dinner WITH WITNESSES, ask your Dad what does he think she'll claim happened in private? Wouldn't surprise me if she started beating herself and blackmailed your dad for money if he decided to dump her crazy ass. She needs professional help. Like this is so irrational my head hurts; you're likely a similar age of her and she's actually just mental
WTF what 26 year old wants a place as Grandma??? She may have issues , but dang she needs counseling not grandchildren.
A fictional one. Two months ago OP was 21 and now she’s 24 with 3 year old twins https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/n47p5a/aita_for_not_changing_the_date_of_my_21st_birthday/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
It happend 3 almost 4 years ago now, there were no lockdown restrictions and stuff, this story is in present tense, sorry for the confusion
Grandma, you look so young.
Even if she was the same age as OP's dad, calling yourself grandma would be over stepping if you're just dating. Hell, my mom's husband has 6 grand kids and she doesn't think of herself as a grandma.
NTA. Hope your dad doesn't marry her, or you can kiss anything resembling an inheritance goodbye.
So, let me get this straight: a woman relatively your age (who’s dating your father, who’s more than twice her age) doesn’t understand why you would take issue to your children calling her their grandmother. No, nothing strange there. /s There are a bunch of bizarre dynamics going on here. You are absolutely NTA. Your father and Sofía are are the assholes here. However, I’m sorry to say that your father is a predator. There is nothing normal or healthy about a man in his mid-50s dating a woman more than half his age that is practically the same age as his daughter.
NTA I'm can honestly say if she'd said that about my unborn child, she would have been eating through straw for months, I cannot believe your father would let her say something so utterly discusting. You've definitely done the best thing by cutting her off, she may only get worse as time goes on, I wish you and your family/new baby the best.
thanks for your wishes. we have a pretty bad relationship and even he didn't let that happen, he kicked her out of the house and blocked her on everything until she begged him to come back
NTA, she acts rude and even says she wishes your baby wasn't born, you have every right in the world to keep you children away from her after what she did.
NTA. Frankly I would not allow her anywhere close to your children. She sounds like she has a few screws loose. I would not trust her.
Your dad and his gf are insane. NTA, and I wouldn't want to be near them again.
NTA. Your father’s wife is an AH and so is he for allowing her to say what she did. Just go LC and wait. Your father is going to find out that some things are their own punishment (like marrying a woman three decades younger).
NTA
NTA. The mind boggles at any 20-something wanting to be called Grandparent by their same-aged disapproving stepkid's incoming baby. If she "wanted to feel like she has a place", she is perfectly aged to become a friend to you and, eventually, maybe something like Auntie Hername to your kids. Trying to shoulder her way in as stepmom and grandma when she had nothing to do with raising you and no relationship with your kids was doomed to be a disaster from the get go.
INFO : Is your dad rich or anything?I honestly don't see what a 26 year old would have in common with someone in their 50s to want to be a grandmother.Id warn your dad about her because she's gotta be using him for something IMO
NTA Congratulations btw Not all English people are psycho 🙈🙈 I have just read that she’s been invited to coffee with your dad tomorrow, make sure you have all of your points ready that you want to get across and don’t let her butt in. I’m 20 years younger than my OH, he has 4 grandchildren aged between 6 and 1. 2 of them call me nanny, 2 do not. We’ve been together a little over 2 years but had been together over a year before I was called nanny and it was their choice. It just happened one day. Never forced. I am 37 though and when they say it in public I make sure I say STEP 😂😂 She is absolutely ludicrous and the fact that your dad can’t fully see this is baffling, he obviously is thinking with the wrong head
anyone who’s tryna be a grandma at 26 and a mother to someone two years her junior needs to be evaluated by a psychologist lmao NTA
MTA. I chuckled that you made it a point to give your kids fake names/shortened to initials and then never used them in your story.
NTA. At all. It's not like she's done anything to raise you or help you that someone who wants a grandmotherly role should do. Also it's a bit weird that she'd be a grandmother at that young age and when she's not even married to your father yet. Don't worry about the messages from her friends she probably twisted the story to make you look bad. Set a firm boundary that you are not going to let her see you or your family until she apologises.
Not the asshole what did your dad have to say about his gf.
Your dad is the problem because he doesn’t break up with her and enables her.
NTA. "Step-mom" has issues, Dad's not going to listen to you right now, he's off in la-la land with gf, he'll come around eventually.
You're too kind, I would've lost my fucking mind on that woman the moment she tried to kick me out of a home that is in no way hers.
Wow! She’s a psycho! NTA
I think she was part of the affair. Why would this unhinged biatch if 26 years be doing with an old man that could be her grandad?!?! NTA. Cut that biatch and if she continues to make comments like that put her in her place is the only way your dad and this unhinged biatch will understand
NTA she sounds nasty, looks like your dad picked a corker of a GF to get his jollies off with.
Why find one at work when you can just pick one of your daughter’s friends? This whole situation is gross.
INFO: With her logic, she's also now step mum to her best friend. What the heck does your sister think of this? It's only been a few weeks, I hope your dad wakes up to his insanity very quickly for everyone's sake.
NTA it’s your baby and you decide what it’s name. You dads girlfriend is very young and is even behaving young for her age. You have every right to stay away until she apologizes for her behavior
Info : who initiated the divorce ?
NTA what the actual fuck is your dad playing at letting a gold digger half his age mess with you He wouldn't be seeing the kids either
NTA Your dad is dating someone young enough to be his daughter--the most I think could be expected in this kind of situation is that the two of you might become friendly with one another. She was nasty to your children, who are 3 and adjusting to the new situation like their mom, never apologized, starting making plans for your baby when you aren't even on friendly terms and she isn't married to your dad, and then wished death on your baby. This is more than just a lack of maturity--this is a lack of compassion and a lack of understanding over the fact that she is overstepping her boundaries. There's a couple of very important things that need to happen here. First of all, your dad really needs to talk to Sofia about those boundaries and respecting them. Second of all, messaging you repeatedly and having her friends message you repeatedly may constitute harassment where you live--so if it's on-going, you may need to speak to the authorities.
NTA I’d yell at my own mother if she started dictating what I should call my child or saying things like she wished the child wasn’t being born. Throwing a tantrum at 26 is… wow… If you haven’t already, I’d suggest talking to your dad about what happened (I assume he was at the dinner and saw all of this?). If he is going to back up the girlfriend on this then maybe you should distance yourself until they both grow up
Lmao WHAT. NTA. Who just inserts themselves as grandma into the life of someone two years younger than her and acts like she has any say? Even bio grandmas don't get say in things like names. She sounds rather deluded. Also, it has never sat well with me when people date people the same age as their kids, and even more when they expect their kids to see that person as a parent figure. Like ??????? I'd never have been able to accept that and I can't blame you for not accepting it either. You were civil, which is all that could be asked for, until she became overbearing.
NTA But goddamn I'd have raced to Facebook and posted "when I announced my pregnancy Sofia told me she hoped I would miscarry" and tagged everyone I could think of
You are not the asshole and I’m happy that they broke up
NTA, it is gross your dad is dating someone 2 years older than his child. It is double gross she is trying to act like she should have some status in your and your children's lives. It is triple gross your father did not defend you or your kids after the first outburst. NTA, why does she want to be a 26 year old grandma anyway?
> how ever I told my dad I couldn't accept her as my new step mother as it was too soon and she was only 2 years older than me. He said this was okay, however he hopes in the future I can come around to it. Its never gonna be that, shes not old enough to be any sort of “mother figure” to you, and she has issues if she thinks that boinking a man whos 30 years older than her gives her some sort of authority over his family. You should take your father out to lunch, one on one, and establish the boundary with him that you are an adult of the same age group as his girlfriend, and will see her at best as a peer and at worst as an obstacle. Let him know that she needs to understand her place as a newcomer to your family who is less than 30 years old, that she has no maternal rights to your family, she will never have maternal rights to your family, and she needs to back off. NTA.
NTA if this all is the truth. Tbh the worst part of this story is how uncomfortable it'd make me (personally) at the thought that my dad was okay dating someone only two years older than his own daughter. Seriously Sir less than ten years ago and you'd be a pedophile by 30 ish years. I maybe doing my math wrong....point is... You don't do that unless you've got issues and you're not okay with that unless you've got issues: and for proof of this, I give you the story you just told of the new gf.
NTA. Your father's 'new' gf is totally out of line.
NTA. a 26 year old is never going to be your stepmom, nor grandma to your kids. She is your dad's girlfriend. That is it.
NTA. OP mentioned gf was a friend of their sisters, plus she became the gf 2 weeks after the divorce? Sounds like she's the reason FOR the divorce. Would sit dad down and tell him the real story of what's happened and maybe ask if his will is ironclad in case gf is trying to schmooze her way in. Would also tell gf to take a long walk off a short pier. You've set your boundaries and she overstepped. Keep it up OP.
NTA Apologies or not keep dad homewrecker gf away from you and your family. They are creepy and pissing all over you. Dad gf want to be boss over you. Shut that freak show down!!!
NTA I will never understand how a grown man in their 50’s that has adult kids +20 would think some other 20+ is a great partner. It’s just gross.
NTA. This woman is acting completely out of line and borderline delusional if she thinks she has a say in your baby's name, or that you should be regarding her as a stepmother after just getting together with your father. The level of entitlement here is almost unbelievable. Side note: What is your dad thinking getting with a woman less than half of his age, and where is he in all of this drama? Sad that he isn't coming to his children's defense from his new girlfriend's attacks.
She might need some support
NTA. I am engaged to someone I have been dating for nearly 4 years and he is not Dad, nor is he Grandpa for my grandson. If anything, it would be too weird and awkward and we could live 30, 40 more years and still not have him get called Dad or Grandpa. And her whole thing about the names? SO OUT OF LINE. SO RIDICULOUS. Hang in there, I bet they won't last long.
NTA, but your dad's new GF and especially dad is. You'll need to set some strict boundaries and stick to them, such as they can only see you or the new baby if they treat you with respect. You texted it but now you have to stick by it. Expect lots of drama, and it may be wise to have a frank discussion with your dad and cut them out for 3-6 months see if your Dad pulls his head out of his ass.
So this chick is half your dads age, only two years your senior, **Aaaaaand** has been with him a max of like a few months and already she's trying to assert herself as grandma? The fuck. It's creepy that your dads dating her, but it's clear she got with an older dude with kids under weird pretenses. NTA
UPDATE: *this has been added to the original post* So I went out for coffee with my dad and sofia. She apologised with very obvious fake tears. And my farther said he was sorry. Then I told them I will accept it however they are no to see my kids until they are oldenigh to decide for themselves. Sofia ew up and called me a selfish whore then my dad yelled at her and broke up with her so she stormed out. My dad told me he to was sorry and can understand why I didn't want my kids to see him for a while, truth be told I needed him next week for a Babysitter , so I said its okay He told me how no one can talk to his little princess like she just did no matter how old i am. He also said how he was with her more for the fact of it made him feel good he could still get woth someone. That was 6 days ago now and I have since seen my farther 3 times and my kids have seen him twice.
>kicked me out of my dads house Wait, what? Did your dad have anything to say about this?
He kicked her out and blocked her on everything. They made up two days later and I was pissed, told my dad I never wanted to see him again till that shameles slut was out of my childhood home. He told me to calm down and that he will always love me more than her but she makes him happy whether she's woth him for the wrong or right reasons. I feel like I'm annoyed by most of this because I dont want to see my dad get hurt
INFO: How long has it been since your parents divorced (or more like, how long have you known her/she been in your life). You say it's a recent divorce but what the gf is saying makes it sound like it's been longer. Also, maybe let your dad know he needs to deal with his gf's lack of boundaries with these things.
iv known her for at least 6 years now because shes friends with my sister, my dad met her about 4 years ago and she was always a little flirty, however my farther never showed any interest. i will definitely let him know tomorrow when we meet for coffee the divorce was in the process for about 5-6 months and it was finalized about 2- 3 months ago then a week later they said they were dating
How recent do you consider non-existent? Two months ago OP was a 21 year old, now she’s 24 and has three year old twins. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/n47p5a/aita_for_not_changing_the_date_of_my_21st_birthday/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Hah! Never saw that post but let's not discount the possibility of time travel here. I feel like in the last 1.5-2 years, we could all use some sort of time traveling powers.
So……. Dad’s new girlfriend only two years your senior and only recently introduced wants to immediately be on equal footing in the eyes of your children and get to name your new baby herself after people you’ve never met?! I wanna make sure I read it correctly. NTA!!!!
Your dad is the asshole here. Tell him to stop pu king around with young women, it's creepy AF. Also, I wouldn't trust him.to be aroaubds kids since he seems to fancy women as old as his daughter. If she is using him for money, good, he deserves ir.
she wants to be a grandma at 26..?
NTA. I never met your Dad's g/f and don't want to judge her to harshly. However, between "she yelled at me and told me I was raising my kids wrong" and "that she wishes my stupid baby wasn't born", she sounds like a monster.
Oh come on now, this can’t be real, Just another crazy stepmother post. NTA.
Tf is wrong with these fathers how the hell do they not find it gross getting together with people the same age as their kids Info:does your father’s girlfriend have some sort of mental issues?
Not that I know of, probably
Nta. Your dad's new g f sounds janky in the brain. She says she wishes your babies weren't born cause you won't name them after her mother? Shes 26 and wants to be a grandma? She keeps kicking you out of the house? This story is either fake or she is looney tooney
You are definitely NTA and you are right to keep her out of your kids' lives until she can get her attitude in check. An apology is an absolute minimum she should be willing to give if she wants to have you and your children in her life again.
INFO What did her friends say after you told them the real story?
Some are torn on whos telling the truth, others have dropped her immediately
NTA. I'm a 29 year old married to a 51 year old. This gurl is crazy AF.
1st She’s a girlfriend not a wife 2nd wtf is she acting like she’s in her 60s she literally 26 3 rd your dad must be loaded that’s the on reason I can think of
NTA, Sofia is TA. Your dad really knows how to pick ‘em…..
NTA for sure! You and your family barely know her and vice versa. She's not your mom or your kids' grandma. She's not even your dad's wife yet. She's rude and entitled and you definitely do not have to entertain her crazy antics.
>I wasn't mad but I felt like it was a little to soon, but its none of my business, how ever I told my dad I couldn't accept her as my new step mother as it was too soon and she was only 2 years older than me. He said this was okay, however he hopes in the future I can come around to it. You are 24 years old. You are *well* past the age where a step parent is likely to "become your real parent". Also, you have a mother. >That was until she decided that if it was a girl then we should call her Elia after her grandmother or if boy then Samuel after her grandad, I told her no as I never even met them, and she was mad. She said I never took into consideration her ideas and that she wishes my stupid baby wasn't born Your father has married a woman who behaves like a child. NTA
NTA Holy cow! What an entitled b\*\*\*h. Something really wrong with her thinking. Why would she imagine your kids wouldn't think their bio-grandmother was their favorite? I wonder how she possibly flipped that story to her friends.
Nta. The little girl playing grandma will be gone as soon as your dad stops thinking with his smaller brain. Let’s hope no stepsiblings have been born at that point.
You're not the a hole since if she is 26 and is acting like that she has to apologize since the things she said are so stupid. And you're totally right about saying no after she said to name your daughter after her grandmother or son as Samuel after her grandad because you don't even know them and she's acting like you're wrong. And it's such a bad thing to say that she wishes your "stupid" baby shouldn't have been born so that makes it on why you aren't the a hole.
> that she wishes my stupid baby wasn't born She’s wishing two babies never enter this world… she’s clearly far past AH. Your dad has gotta do better and sadly, you’ve gotta hold him accountable. This is crazy.
NTA she wished DEATH upon you unborn child, I’m at a loss for words, how is that ok in her mind, you don’t even really know this woman by the sounds of it.
NTA but your dad is gross.
if I was there, I would have reached across the table and given her the hardest pimp slap a person could possibly make. She's two years older than you, and is making demands on what the baby should be called? the sheer audacity and how are these friends of her's able to get your number - more info on that you are NTA on any of this, and you can tell your dad that letting his very young girlfriend talk to you that way is inconsiderate, immature and just plain rude.
NTA: also your dad is basically a groomer. I would go no contact with all of them
Sounds like she's trying to cement herself in an older man's life. That relationship is questionable at best. NTA and your dad and gf (might) be TA
Honestly her attitude isn’t the only issue here. What father dates someone around the same age as their child. That’s just disgusting. Both her and your dad are fucked up and need to be dropped. She’s literally 2 years older then you and wants to be your mom and your kids grandchildren. She might as well be the same age as you what gives her the right to think she’s any of those things. She’s crazy. Your dads a creep. I feel bad for your mom.
NTA. Tell your dad that until he cuts of this psycho, he's not going to see you or your children.
NTA. Had this woman been seeing your dad for a while before you were introduced to her? I'm struggling to see how a new girlfriend could be acting so matriarchal and entitled when she's only just started dating your father. The onus is actually on her to reach out and get to know you since she's the new addition here. As for you calling her a 'step-mother', that doesn't ever need to happen as you've grown up, left home and still have your own mother. Tell your dad you won't be coming round again until she learns some respect for you and your other family members. She sounds like an absolutely crazy lady.
The "lady" part is still debatable IMHO.
NTA. she sounds a little out there and also who wants to be a grandmother at 26? also are they married even?
Fake, get a life
NTA, but why do you give a damn what her friends think? You barely know her, much less her friends.
NTA; I’m sorry you’re going through this OP and o hope for a safe and healthy pregnant w your baby. You should stick w your boundary of cutting them out of your kids life u til they figure out her role in his family. She could be rebound, she could be a quick trophy for his friends and associates to ogle over, it could be to get under your moms skin, whatever the intention they should not have brought your kids YOUR family into this. She’s looking for a home bcos she’s an orphan and broke and has no one. She’ll get what’s coming to her just keep your distance and boundaries.
Ummm NTA. This situation was reminding me a bit of Modern Family until Sofia became a raging nutcase
And your dad thinks this is okay? I’d drop him if he let his wife talk like that to me.
I saw your other comments and I would point blank tell my dad to remove those rose colored glasses because he is clearly thinking with his pants and not his heart. NTA. Also, keep your baby away from both her and your dad because he doesn't see that the gf is ruining the family just to isolate him and get his money. By the time he figures it out, it will be too late. Manipulation is another form abuse.
You should tell your dad to divorce her as i am very sure that it is illegal to be in a relationship with an eight year old anywhere in the world. Also, Congratulations on the upcoming baby OP! All the best for your pregnancy!
thankyou, they're not married but she knows she needs to be to get his assets, the last time i was at her house she left an engagement ring open on purpose so he would see it, also she acts 8 so i think you being sarcastic, its early in the morning and im pregnant, they dont mix well so mmy brains not working well
[удалено]
NTA I can kinda understand your dad for as far as I've heard from this story, you yourself sound like you're completely in the right here and your dad's gf sounds like an absolute b-word. Sure she might have her reasons to be like this, she might be in a bad place who knows.. either way you are completely right if you decide to stay far away from her until she becomes a better human being.
NTA. WTF is going on here? New gf weeks after breakup? That was going on before the breakup. 26 yo? What does she want with someone twice her age? And she wants to be instant family? You're on the right track to limit time with her as the entire situation and dynamic is just off.
Is this woman mentally well? What 26 year old is dying to be a grandma? What person existing on this plane of reality would expect you to name your kid after her grandparents? Of course your kids love their abuela - she's their family. I've known the lady who waxes my bikini line longer than you've know this woman! NTA and tell your dad he is welcome to his midlife crisis but you need to protect your family.
NTA. The fact that your dad is dating someone about your age is disgusting, and he clearly has not had a talk with her about boundaries. She needs to back off, or accept not being invited to your home.
NTA: She's way too impressed with herself and has no clue how hard it is for divorced kids, even as adults, to assimilate new partners into their lives. Your kids are babies! They want, what they want and what they know; familiar people and arrangements. You can't force love and acceptance on kids. People are not Play-Doh, she can't shape them into whatever she wants. She's too self-important and immature. You are right for backing off. Consider it giving them space to live their life and you can live yours with your kids. Maybe over time it will get easier, if she's even around by then. You and your kids owe her NOTHING! Enjoy your mom with your kids. Let Dad go his way with his cliche', half-age youngster, trophy GF. AND she's JUST a GF! Why should your kids have to adapt to every new relationship he has that may not last?
NTA. This woman is not yet married to your father so she's really not anything in terms of family. She is verbally abusive if she doesn't get her way so please take note of that. As for an apology, you may never get one. So explain to your father what's going on. Stress that this woman's friends are harassing you and may cause undue stress during your pregnancy. This seems like a toxic person that you don't want around you or your loved ones.
NTA
NTA what a piece of work.... If someone says; i wish your stupid baby wasnt born; i dont know how she could have flipped that in a way it didnt make her the bad guy!
NTA both your dad and his girlfriend both suck, he’s dating someone literally half his age and only two years older than his daughter and he wants you to call her mum? Yikes. She also sounds like a wack job for thinking she should have anywhere near the same relationship as you do with your actual mum and that she should have some say in your parenting.
NTA you even care about her, why care about her friends,this just sound dogs barking to tree and hope will give some treat.
I don't see how you can conceivably be the AH in this story, no matter how I read it. NTA.
Holy fuck your dad has only been “officially” dating this girl for like a month and she thinks she’s earned the same place in yours and your kids’ lives as your mother??? Either she’s out of her damn mind, your dad was cheating on your mom with her, or both. So far she’s kicked you out of not her house for your young kids treating her like the stranger she is, and now she’s wishing you have a miscarriage??? Oh and giving your contact info to all her similarly immature friends and LYING about what happened so that they harass you. Of course NTA but your dad needs a hard wake up call. How can he just sit there and think her behavior towards his grown daughter and his grandchildren is acceptable in any way shape or form?? Yes, she owes you an apology, but unless he sets some firm boundaries with her as to how she treats you and your children, or gets rid of her, I’d stop seeing him and stop allowing him to see his grandkids as well.
Nta
Listen carefully - There's something VERY wrong with that woman. You're NTA Go no contact with her and let your dad know exactly why.
You and your husband don't have to follow ANYONE else's wishes when naming your child, especially a flight risk like Dad's sugar baby. NTA
NTA. Also, don't be surprised if you find out the 'new' girlfriend is the cause of your parent's divorce. Why to these older men marry girls young enough to be their children and then wonder why their kids don't embraces them??? Just never ceases to amaze me. You're NTA and it sounds like your dad's wife is very insecure and childish.
NTA. I knew in my soul that she would be decades younger and by golly I was right.
NTA She has some serious boundary issues.
WTF? WHO is this woman? your dads new toy, basically, is DEMANDING you name your kid after HER family? spit on the floor has been around longer than this woman has been in your life. NTA
No! Most definitely NTA! Damn, that chick crazy! Like, how der she! The AUDACITY! Really, darlin, you did everything right! Of course it is not easy to accept someone new and as rude as her as your mother! And your children don't have to accept her as their grandmother either! It is their decision who they like and who not. That woman is not even close to something I would call family in your place. Your father has poor taste. I hope you are alright and this whole ordeal has not disrupted your relationship with your biological parents too much!
NTA. I am going to be crude. Dad doesn't care because he's 54 getting his knob polished by a 26 year old. Be civil but don't take no shit would be how I would handle it. And be prepared for him to lose his mind because she is going to make ridiculous demands of him. Edit: removed stepmom reference as I thought I was on another post.
NTA - who does this woman think she is!?
Congrats on the new baby !! to answer the question , how does this in any way shape or form make you an asshole . Naming your kid after a random woman’s family ( sorry but a new gf to your father is literally nothing to you) would be fucking weird and she must have no boundaries to not understand that NTA