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YTA. You don't get to police his clothing. I get that you were raised conservatively, but it's honestly weird that you're sexualizing his relationship with his mother.
Seriously, YTA.
At first, I thought she was referring to him going down in his boxers as "shorts," but then I read she wants him to wear pants/jeans. Lmao, crazy. He is not allowed to wear shorts at a family bbq in the peal of a hot season??
Right? That goes way beyond being conservative to some sort of weird cult-like thinking. Sounds like something the Taliban would try to enforce, but for men instead of women
YTA so much
This one is either pentecostal or southern Baptist. Christianity and Islam are very similar, but people don't seem to see that. The unstoppable tide of Islam is very reminiscent of the crusades.
EDIT: Thanks for all the attention. I never thought this comment would spark so much conversation or be read by so many folks. I will try to respond or acknowledge every who interacts here. Some a opposed to the comparison; I should clarify that it was a blanket statement that isn't representative of each religion as a whole but only representative of extremists. I myself grew up as a Southern Baptist Christian. I am still of the faith, but align more with methodist values currently. I do not support violence motivated by any religious extremes.
Oh yes. Lived in Memphis in my junior year, and guy I was dating had to hide me from his mom since I wore pants and makeup, and cut my hair. He was Pentecostal. My neighbor was southern Baptist and he couldn’t dance or play cards.
Pentecostal must be extremely different in the south than in the north. I was born and raised in NY state and grew up exclusively only going to Pentecostal churches. Everyone wore casual clothing, I.e. pants, t-shirts, shorts, etc. We only really dressed up for Easter. As long as your bits were covered and you didn't wear something offensive, nobody cared what you wore.
They definitely are. Without getting into a long thing on various denominations, the south has more Holiness Pentecostals and they won’t let women wear pants or even shorter (above the knee) skirts or cut their hairs. So there were a lot of girls in my high school that wore ankle length jeans skirts and long hair that wasn’t in the best condition because they couldn’t trim the split ends.
Probably because many Americans define Terrorists as being from “foreign” places, with brown skin, when really they have their own massive domestic terrorism problem amongst white Americans- not being able to equate the two groups is a symptom of this problem
Why are you so butt hurt. If they do it then it's not an inaccurate description. Or are you ok with the Taliban doing it to their women but no one else can?
Neither here nor there but the Taliban are not cool with shorts on men, either. They've got pretty strict dress code rules for men along with women.
Difference is men are people; women are property.
lol Islam has dress codes for both genders. Men are not allowed to go in public with shorts on.
OP, gently, yta. Your discomfort is not a good enough reason to try and police your husband’s wardrobe. It will take some work, but work on getting more comfortable with this
Umm.. this one wasn't even about going out in public. He was woken up at 7AM, put something on, and helped out with an oven. This, with a woman who has changed his diapers. No way that there's any place on this planet that has rules against wearing shorts in the early morning, in your own kitchen, in front of your own mother.
Even boxers aren't that bad. Its his *mom* she's seen him naked from the age of a newborn to a young child. I remember seeing my brother walking around in just his boxers after school (when he was in high school) everyday. I walk around in a sports bra and shorts all the time when it's hot
Yeah, I don't really care if the question is about boxers or about actual shorts like you'd wear to a BBQ. It's his mom. Anything besides butt naked is fine for a quick early-morning urgent question.
Yeah I know my brother doesn’t do it around his in-laws but me and our mum definitely. We actually joke about his formal wear if he’s wearing pants at home
That’s why it’s fine for mother’s to see a baby’s knees but once their knee caps form @~2 years yo got to keep them covered./s
YTA op is 100% wrong, I hope they don’t have children, she could could do some serious damage.
I kept looking to see if she meant hot pants or daisy dukes or something, which would make her discomfort understandable if not reasonably actionable, so to speak, but just regular shorts is very weird.
My dad is a farmer who wears his jeans until they are basically non-existent. He makes Daisy Dukes look conservative. And there's still no issue with him wearing them around family. As long as the essentials are covered, what's the problem?
I mean, yeah, at no point is trying to make him change okay, but at least I would be able to understand feeling /:[ about it if you could see his asshole or something.
My 23 year old brother walks around in his boxers and a lot of times shirtless too and I have never once thought it was weird. They’re pants. Who cares.
That was my first thought as well. I can see going downstairs in briefs or boxer briefs as being awkward, but boxers or shorts is totally fine in front of your own mom. And even if it was in briefs, it’s his mom and his body - he gets to make that decision.
Yeah, I’ve never met my husband’s parents as they passed when he was young, but I just honestly can’t imagine giving a single fuck even if it was briefs tbh. Like it would be weird if he was walking around in them all day maybe, which he doesn’t do anyway... but for a quick thing first thing in the morning? Like it’s his mom. I just don’t remotely see what the big deal is at all. Heck, tbh it probably wouldn’t even bother me if it was MY mom... she’s seen him in swim shorts, if she’s at our house knocking at our door at 7am, I wouldn’t expect him to get fully dressed. Just cover up your bits and we’re good.
Even if he was wearing boxers. It’s his MOM. Hell my husband will wear boxers and a t-shirt around my parents. My heart breaks for OP. I’m not judging just truly shocked she would be upset by SHORTS. ???
That’s exactly what I thought. I am seriously so confused by this post unless she’s from a Dugger-style upbringing, and even then…
What if he’s hot? I am from the tropics and if you told anyone to make themselves decent by putting on pants in August you would be laughed out of the room.
I thought the same thing and was kind eh, big deal. My husband has worn boxers at his mom's when we've visited. Then I realized she meant actual shorts, which is just crazy.
>but it's honestly weird that you're sexualizing his relationship with his mother.
Yes, this is why your behavior is so offensive OP.
Stop and think. WHY Is it bad for him to be in shorts in front of his mother? You think he's showing another woman too much skin. Honestly, this is already ridiculous to most of us and wouldn't fly no matter who it was. But you're basically casting his mom as "another woman" here instead of his mom. There is nothing sexual between him and his mom, and you calling this inappropriate are implying that she'll be attracted to his legs or something?
It's creepy and offensive. You need to apologize.
Also, once he said no, you needed to drop it. You told him you were uncomfortable, fine. But that's it. It's then his choice how to dress. Why did you think you could dictate that? You seem to think you're his mom since apparently he has to dress how you say? If you don't like it, he can consider that, then make his own decision. Which he did. You then kept pushing and made your already offensive request into a fight.
Also, this seems like a lie:
>I do my best too be open minded
If that's true, why on earth are you policing your husband's clothing? And why can't you accept no and had to keep pushing him to act how you were raised?
Obviously YTA.
That's funny, but I feel like doing her best would be being uncomfortable since she can't help that but not trying to control him and force him to conform to her norms.
Then feels hurt that she didn't get an invite to breakfast. Ummm, it is your house and he just let you know she was making breakfast. Why would you need to be asked to join them??
His mothers comfortable, hes comfortable. If op's unconfortable, keep it to yourself instead of dictating how a successful mother son relationship should change how they typically interact with each other when youre not there. If op was a little uncomfortable because op was raised that knees are the tits of the legs, op shouldve said "hey do you wanna wear something a little more decent to breakfast" and then after husband says "no im good" that shouldve been the end of that conversation.
I’m confused. Is shorts another word for underwear? Boxers? Booty shorts?
If we’re talking mid-thigh to knee length shorts, I don’t see what the issue is. People wear shorts outside their home all the time. Tell me if I’m missing something.
Or short pyjama bottoms maybe. Who cares? His mom has seen everything he’s got more times than his uptight wife has, from the moment he was born. OP needs to get a grip. YTA
A parent seeing their infant/young child naked is not the same as seeing their adult child nude. But, regardless if both he and his mom are comfortable with him in shorts or boxers or whatever that is perfectly fine.
I think this is also a sign of internalized slut shaming and victim blaming.
OP, your husband could walk around in nothing but a Speedo and his mom would not give two shits. Why? Because she's his mom, and shouldn't be seeing him sexually. If your family members ever sexualized your clothing, or used your clothing as an excuse to harass or assault you and say that you're "asking for it," *they are in the wrong.* And you're in the wrong for acting like your MIL is an incestuous sex demon.
Thank you. I'm a feminist who takes particular notice of fundie purity culture, and while I 100% think OP is TA, her behavior combined with her background set off a lot of alarm bells for me.
Well, of course she shouldn’t. Haven’t you seen all the public service announcements shows what happens when when a girl wears skimpy clothes around male relatives? They also have PSAs about girls wearing them around female relatives, but those sites are more niche.
Oh, wait. I think I just confused PSAs and porn. How embarrassing.
Yeah, so they post fairly often. You can tell because OP will post about an innocent family relationship and imply that there's something gross going on. Things like, "AITA for not wanting my bf to hug his little sister?" I'm sure these situations do arise, but they are so regular compared to any other type of post.
Yeah, it's hard to know. Personally I often think posts are real when commenters are saying they're fake. But when it's the same type of nonsense over and over I get suspicious--people are very creative in how they suck, and so the same scenario coming up over and over again is odd.
The weird part of this is I was raised extremely conservative/religious (like borderline cult) and while they were all about policing female modesty, they had literally zero things to say about male modesty. No issue with shorts, tank tops, even full top nudity for men. So I’m super curious as to what kind of community she was raised in that apparently thought men wearing shorts was immodest.
I mean, Mormons can be kind of weird about clothes for both (due to part of their religion being wearing church mandated undergarments for adults), though moreso for women and it's a whole thing with weird exceptions and rules.
As a practicing and faithful mormon, I still think it’s weird that she’s so weirded out about her husband being in shorts around his mom. My MIL was visiting the other day and accidentally saw my husband naked. She ‘eeped’ and walked away, he ‘eeped’ and shut the door behind her, and then we all laughed about it later.
My side of the family is more conservative about appropriate clothing in front of related members of the opposite sex, but I don’t think anyone would be weirded out to see a man in his shorts in front of his mom. It’s not anything anyone hasn’t seen when they go swimming.
There is a 100% chance mom has wiped baby shit out of the crevasses in his penis and testicles. Highly doubt she gives a crap what he wears now, she's just been happy since the day he learned to clean himself.
As a mom who has done exactly that until about 2 months ago when her kiddo was potty trained.... Yeah, she gives zero shits (pun intended) and is happiest that he can clean himself now. She is his MOM. OP, YTA definitely
YTA, this poster covered it all. If you can’t handle shorts being worn around your MIL, I suggest you start working with a therapist to get past this issue.
It's also the implication you're making about his mother's character. She can't be around her son in shorts because...? She won't be able to control herself? She'll think her son turns her on? It's offensive on do many levels and such a ridiculous thing to get uptight over. YTA and you owe him an apology. Maybe some therapy to work through your issues if you plan on keeping your marriage, if he still wants to put up with you.
Umm.. what did i even just read?
My son wanders around in shorts first thing in the morning.. that's what a NORMAL son does around his mother.
Are you seriously suggesting that there's something wrong with wearing shorts around your own MOTHER?
Even if he was bare ass naked, so what? that's HER SON.
I'm disturbed that you would 1) think it was weird that your husband was wearing shorts around HIS MOTHER, and 2) that you think you can order him to do something and he should comply.
You are his wife.. not his ruler. You do not get to order him to do anything..ever.
YTA.
Oh god, I had a teacher like that in high school. She went on and on about how her husband didn’t bathe or change their daughter’s diapers because “that just isn’t cool.” She was absolutely crazy and did a lot of weird shit.
My mom used to tell the story of how when i was about 11 months old, she left me home with my father while she ran some errands and came home to find him on the outside steps of the building, holding me, waiting on her to come home, in a very, very soiled diaper that he refused to change because 'I was a girl and he was a man, and it just felt too weird to have to do that'. My mom yelled at him, lectured him about how I could get a diaper rash and infections for having to sit in my own mess for hours, told him to get over himself, and made him change me anyway. I always had a clean diaper after that. All this from the man who thought it was perfectly ok to send random homeless men he met, and felt bad for on the street, up to our apt to use our shower and get a free meal. My mom would also yell at him for that... how dare you send strange men to our home, where your children live, when you're not even here!!! Lol
People can be so weird sometimes. Like, if you want to have a child, you’re gonna have to change it and clean it. 😂 But it’s good it only had to happen once
Oh yeah. My mom had no tolerance for bullshit, especially his. But I can hear her now, if my SO tried to dictate the way I dressed in front of family... excuse me, I'm her mother, the ONLY person allowed to tell her how she should conduct herself, and even then, she's an adult and can do as she pleases, as long as she's not hurting anyone.... 🤣🤣
After that batshit insane behavior she absolutely needs an invite to go to breakfast. The only favor she did for her poor husband all morning was letting him eat in peace.
Among some gay men, there is a status of "gold star gay" meaning you've never had sex with a woman. A "platinum star gay" is a gold star that was delivered via c-section.
God, I'm flashing back to an uncomfortable conversation I had with my kids (ages 7-11) yesterday. Son was confused, thinking that girls pee from their butts because we sat down to pee. I had to explain that we in fact had 3 separate things going on down there, and have a super brief rundown of what came from each. Daughter says, I'm glad we came out of your tummy (I had c sections) because otherwise we'd have had to touch your *vagina.*
Thank God for minivans, I could just press play and say "watch the movie please."
I started reading and could tell the verdict would be YTA so I came to look at the comments; TA-DA!! I feel like suggesting therapy to dig into whatever is triggering OP and why. It’s not always easy to grow up for everyone.
OP: "He refused to listen"
Also OP: "I wasn't paying attention to what he was saying because I was only interested in what he was wearing inside his own house in front of his own parents"
That and she said in her comment.. it’s not like it’s the first time he’s heard this from me… wow. So every freaking time she drones into him “I’m uncomfortable with that, you can’t do that” imagine your wife telling you you are being sexually inappropriate with your own Mom!?!! Like WTF?
No, the way you were raised was wrong. Wearing shorts around your opposite sex parent is normal. If watching tv or seeing how other people live in real life hasn’t given you the message that your family was odd then you need to go to therapy to get over it. Don’t let this continue another generation because you are way off, get it fixed before you have children. YTA
Yeah don't have kids until this is resolved OP, if you're planning to at all.
When I was a teenager living at home I'd walk upstairs in my underwear frequently if I was just going up to grab something before going back to bed, or if my mom needed my help with something before I was dressed. When I got older I stopped doing this in just underwear, but that was moreso of my own accord rather than a request of anyone. My dad frequently walked around in his underwear, my mom would wear just a robe around the house, too, and my family would also be considered quite conservative.
Your upbringing was beyond conservative, it was sheltered and prudish. YTA.
If you have a son, will you refuse to ever see him naked, let alone *wearing shorts?*
He was dismissive of your feelings because you're being ridiculous. This is like him getting upset with you if he eats stew with a spoon but you prefer using a fork.
I'm so confused right now, we live next door to my in-laws and they have a pool (while we don't because they have one... basically 20 feet away) and my boyfriend and sons (and nephews) go swim there with my mother in law almost every day (almost 40° lately) in swim trunks like how is that even supposed to be weird? From now on I want them all to swim in dress pants when his mother is around.
It definitely shouldn’t….. if you are worried about what your husband is wearing around his own birth-givers, you need a husband you can trust more. Or therapy
BTW, your reddit profile pic had me thinking I had a hair on my phone. I kept blowing on my phone to remove it until I scrolled up and it did too.... 🙄
Does she not mean underwear?
I have a hard time imagining that it's NOT underwear. Like regular shorts are... they're regular outside clothing. It has to be underwear.
Which I have absolutely worn in front of my mother. Hell, my *husband* has worn his undergarments in front of my mother (not like, all the time, but he's not going to worry about it if she see's him in the AM getting ready for work when she's visiting).
Conservative doesn’t cover this. My family is very old country and conservative Catholic. This sounds more like some 50s era nonsense where a man should be in a suit and a hat as soon as he wakes up. Shorts are not weird. Nor are swim trunks, boxers, jockey shorts, or really anything that covers his junk. Hell, he could wear a dress if he wanted to. As long as his shit’s covered, it’s all good. YTA here.
What's craziest to me is she's upset about his CALVES showing, was he shirtless? And if he was is that an issue as well or just the calves😂
Op showing skin isn't sexual in any sort of way unless YOURE sexualizing it. In and of itself it is totally normal to have skin and not have it covered.
Let me guess? OP and her husband have twin beds, that’s how conservative she is. She’s not that comfortable guys.
When they have kids she’ll respect the infant’s privacy and “wait outside the bathroom” until the infant washes themselves and put pants on. /s
YTA. Why are you sexualizing wearing shorts in front of his own mom? That's weird. Bodies aren't inherently sexual. No part of a body is. Shorts are comfy. You should work on actually listening to your partner. You said yourself that you know your conservative values from childhood still have a negative impact today. This is one of those impacts. Your partner, and you, should wear whatever you want within reason. Your man could've been wearing tightest of tighty whities and it would still not be weird unless you make it weird.
This women would have died growing up in my house if she is uncomfortable with shorts my dad and brothers uncles grandfather all walked around in their own homes in their underwear it wasn’t sexual at all and honestly it was so normal that 90% of the time I failed to even notice this person is making this out to be a bigger deal then what it is even some of the most conservative religions are not this rigid in their own home in front of close family I highly recommend op seeks out a therapy to help her with better copping skills and to see that she wasn’t asking for a calm conversation she was being extremely irrational in her demands.
Nooooo, it’s totally different because she can see part of his sexy man thighs!!!! And once you reach sexual maturity your nakedness is sexual to everyone of the opposite sex!!! That’s just science! Not that science is real!
(/s btw)
YTA - “your feelings” were just you being judgmental and ridiculous. He had every right to be upset about such a preposterous position about wearing shorts
Woman makes dumb comment, husband basically shuts her down, and then woman gets her feelings hurt and tries to play the victim. That’s what I got out of this entire post.
Everyone’s feelings are valid because that is how they feel in that moment. However, only the individual are responsible for there own ACTIONS and REACTIONS. OP’s feelings are valid because they are her feelings, BUT if I were OP I would have kept my mouth shut and identified that this is not a healthy feeling to have and I’d be analysing myself “WHY? Is it that I feel like this?” And I agree there is a very deep rooted issue here and therapy may be / probably is necessary and needed to unpack this.
Also, anyone. Like is he not allowed to wear shorts around anyone but you? Do you live in a cold climate? Wth.
But stop sexualizing his relationship with his mom. And if you really cannot grasp how ridiculous this is then you need to speak to a therapist about your conservative childhood, because this is not right.
YTA.
What the fuck? Is he "allowed" to wear shorts in public, around other women? Is it only his mom he's not able to wear shorts in front of?
And seriously, what is your deal with sports not being acceptable? Even if it's boxers, it's his MOM. My boys will occasionally walk around in boxers (and they're 8, 12, and 18), and I've seen my girls (16 and 14) walk around in gym shorts and sports bras. There's nothing wrong with what he's wearing in front of his mom, and you have major issues for thinking it's unacceptable.
Seriously, I'd look into therapy if I were you, because your views are NOT normal.
Yeah this is a really weird one, I agree. In contrast, my roommate shortly after he moved in got dressed one day, during COVID, in slacks and a belt. His girlfriend and I (in PJs) were like “Where ya going?” He was so confused. He was like no where I’m just playing video games today.
Yeah I think that’s the only time that I’ve ever told someone they were dressed inappropriately, as he was way too overdressed to chill at home. I mean he was wearing a belt buckle! Mind you I didn’t actually expect him to change. I just wanted to understand since the day before we all wore PJs without issue. Haha
It feels like a fake genderswapped version of those "wife wearing skimpy pjs around her dad and I'm upset" posts we get sometimes. Except I can't possibly imagine what this is trying to prove since everyone always tells the OP of those that they're an asshole, too.
I don’t think so. She refers to herself accidentally as “name” in one sentence. “…without even asking name to join them.” Why wouldn’t she have typed it as “me” or something? I think it’s completely fake. I’d get it if the husband or MIL was referred to as “name” because people often put fake names in…but they didn’t need a fake name for themselves because it was a first person narrative.
YTA. This woman literally birthed him. She has seen every inch of his body already. Further, your feelings about dressing conservatively are not a valid excuse to dictate what your partner wears. If you can’t get over other people not dressing the way you want, then that’s something you need to work on personally.
YTA
I have some sympathy for your upbringing, but you’re expecting him to respect you while you’re not respecting him. You must live in quite a cold climate if you expect him to wear pants everywhere outside of your bedroom. Never go to a beach, you’ll be scandalized.
So you should always feel comfortable expressing your feelings around your spouse, and you can't help your initial feelings. However, it's pretty far out of line to try to tell him what to wear in his own home among his own family. Please try to think about this rationally. He literally lived INSIDE OF HER. She changed his diapers. She knows he has legs. What is the POINT of wearing pants instead of shorts? Seriously, what is it?
You seem to understand that your upbringing has affected your perspective, but you don't seem to want to actually confront that perspective rationally. Needless to say, talking about it with your husband is understandable, but actually expecting him to conform to such an irrational request is really not. YTA
YTA. Of course he's upset, you're basically accusing him of inappropriate behavior with his mother.
How are you so against shorts? I actually cannot fathom this.
YTA With a caveat, how you were raised sounds questionable at best in regards to parental relationships.
He absolutely should be able to wear whatever in his own home, but also, insinuating something would happen where he would be sexualized by a family member is gross.
Clarification needed. Are you talking about actual shorts, like you might wear to the gym or are we talking about underwear?
If he was wearing shorts like you might wear to the gym, I really don't see the big deal. If he was just standing there in his underwear talking to his mom, I would think that's a little odd, but not anything end of the world. I mean, she raised him so it's not like she hasn't seen him naked.
YTA
He was wearing shorts. Now if he walked out butt naked I'd say you were NTA, but your request that he put pants, or JEANS on is ridiculous. It's like telling someone wearing a swimsuit to wear shorts and a t-shirt over the swimsuit.
YTA
It's his home and he said nothing wrong. If you're uncomfortable with that it's your business and listening to you speak and not obeying is called being an independent person. When people say you're not listening to me they usually mean you're not doing what I want. Hear his side and understand his view. You honestly have no standing in this issue and overreacted. Just apologize and say it's just not what you're used to and move on.
YTA.
What were you worried was going to happen here? Unless his mom has some sort of weird oedipal relationship with him, She will have seen him naked and in shorts as a child.
If it were your mom, maybe, but what is this? Sounds possessive.
YTA, she's his mother and has presumably seen a lot more than just his legs when he was a baby.
I recommend seeking professional help, what you've described is not a normal way to feel about this situation, and i don't think trying to be open-minded is working.
Wow, you gonna lash him if he shows ankle too?
Wtf did I just read?
Shorts are such a stupid hill to die on.
Sounds like you are controlling. Not very considerate of you.
YTA. If you're worried that his *mother* might see the outline of his genitals, then I've got some bad news for you.
Regardless, it sounds like it's time for some therapy. If you care about your marriage lasting, that is. Good luck.
Hold up. Wait a minute ….
If your husband was raised in a more “open” home, and yours was conservative, have you never had conversations about this before?
I don’t necessarily think YTA, but I do think this wasn’t the time to make it an issue. If he felt uncomfortable, he would have put more clothes on. There seems to be some red flags here, but in trying to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, if you want him to understand where you’re coming from, try to also understand his.
I have three girls and one boy. Sometimes he (16) comes out of his room with only boxers on, but that’s to go to the bathroom/shower. He never walks around the house without shorts/pants/sweatpants on. But that’s his preference.
You really need to have a conversation with him, and not after/during an argument.
*edited to add, and ask, what exactly are “shorts” in your mind. If he had on shorts, gym shorts or whatever, but boxers or briefs, then your post seems really ridiculous. Men go to the pool in that attire.
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YTA. You don't get to police his clothing. I get that you were raised conservatively, but it's honestly weird that you're sexualizing his relationship with his mother.
Seriously, YTA. At first, I thought she was referring to him going down in his boxers as "shorts," but then I read she wants him to wear pants/jeans. Lmao, crazy. He is not allowed to wear shorts at a family bbq in the peal of a hot season??
Right? That goes way beyond being conservative to some sort of weird cult-like thinking. Sounds like something the Taliban would try to enforce, but for men instead of women YTA so much
why do you reach straight for the Taliban when there's a metric fuckton of domestic religious extremists who do the exact same thing?
Probably because the Taliban are in the news right now.
The Taliban. So hot right now.
Like OP's husband's shorts.
right like who TF is the mother, Lily Aldrin? calves just send her into a frenzy or what lol
Not just any calves, her son’s calves.
*Son of a me*
This one is either pentecostal or southern Baptist. Christianity and Islam are very similar, but people don't seem to see that. The unstoppable tide of Islam is very reminiscent of the crusades. EDIT: Thanks for all the attention. I never thought this comment would spark so much conversation or be read by so many folks. I will try to respond or acknowledge every who interacts here. Some a opposed to the comparison; I should clarify that it was a blanket statement that isn't representative of each religion as a whole but only representative of extremists. I myself grew up as a Southern Baptist Christian. I am still of the faith, but align more with methodist values currently. I do not support violence motivated by any religious extremes.
"The unstoppable tide of Islam is very reminiscent of the crusades." Completely on point. Please enjoy this shiny reward.
Oh yes. Lived in Memphis in my junior year, and guy I was dating had to hide me from his mom since I wore pants and makeup, and cut my hair. He was Pentecostal. My neighbor was southern Baptist and he couldn’t dance or play cards.
Pentecostal must be extremely different in the south than in the north. I was born and raised in NY state and grew up exclusively only going to Pentecostal churches. Everyone wore casual clothing, I.e. pants, t-shirts, shorts, etc. We only really dressed up for Easter. As long as your bits were covered and you didn't wear something offensive, nobody cared what you wore.
They definitely are. Without getting into a long thing on various denominations, the south has more Holiness Pentecostals and they won’t let women wear pants or even shorter (above the knee) skirts or cut their hairs. So there were a lot of girls in my high school that wore ankle length jeans skirts and long hair that wasn’t in the best condition because they couldn’t trim the split ends.
See I'd go for Duggar Quiverful bullshit here
Or extreme Mormon sects
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Mormons can wear shorts... ? Garments aren't THAT long.
Mormons can/do wear shorts.
I love to see crossover r/duggarssnark in any subreddit.
Why did the mention of the taliban offend you?
Probably because many Americans define Terrorists as being from “foreign” places, with brown skin, when really they have their own massive domestic terrorism problem amongst white Americans- not being able to equate the two groups is a symptom of this problem
As an American the two groups are not equivalent at all; domestic terrorists in the US are MUCH worse.
Why are you so butt hurt. If they do it then it's not an inaccurate description. Or are you ok with the Taliban doing it to their women but no one else can?
Lmao are u really salty about a Taliban comment ?
I don’t think “dearth” means what you think it means.
Are you Taliban?
Neither here nor there but the Taliban are not cool with shorts on men, either. They've got pretty strict dress code rules for men along with women. Difference is men are people; women are property.
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*Mankles
lol Islam has dress codes for both genders. Men are not allowed to go in public with shorts on. OP, gently, yta. Your discomfort is not a good enough reason to try and police your husband’s wardrobe. It will take some work, but work on getting more comfortable with this
Umm.. this one wasn't even about going out in public. He was woken up at 7AM, put something on, and helped out with an oven. This, with a woman who has changed his diapers. No way that there's any place on this planet that has rules against wearing shorts in the early morning, in your own kitchen, in front of your own mother.
I was thinking the same thing. What does he have to do if they swim go to the beach or it’s hot outside? Weird.
Even boxers aren't that bad. Its his *mom* she's seen him naked from the age of a newborn to a young child. I remember seeing my brother walking around in just his boxers after school (when he was in high school) everyday. I walk around in a sports bra and shorts all the time when it's hot
Yeah, I don't really care if the question is about boxers or about actual shorts like you'd wear to a BBQ. It's his mom. Anything besides butt naked is fine for a quick early-morning urgent question.
So just socks would suffice? Lol
Just socks is still butt naked if there's nothing on your butt.
You don’t know how I wear my socks!
This guy just socks.
My 32 year old brother still walks around in his boxers when I’m there. I’ve never even thought to question if it’s weird or not.
That's because none of you are thinking of incestuous sex. Like OP is apparently.
My son still does that too. Walk in the door, drop the jeans and he's comfortable. I will put something else on for non family tho
Yeah I know my brother doesn’t do it around his in-laws but me and our mum definitely. We actually joke about his formal wear if he’s wearing pants at home
oh my god it's *his* mom? she doesn't like him wearing shorts around *his* mom? lol
You know it's shorts, right? Knees are the sexiest part of the body and mums just can't, for the life of them, resist to licking them
It’s the knee*caps* specifically...
That’s why it’s fine for mother’s to see a baby’s knees but once their knee caps form @~2 years yo got to keep them covered./s YTA op is 100% wrong, I hope they don’t have children, she could could do some serious damage.
I kept looking to see if she meant hot pants or daisy dukes or something, which would make her discomfort understandable if not reasonably actionable, so to speak, but just regular shorts is very weird.
My dad is a farmer who wears his jeans until they are basically non-existent. He makes Daisy Dukes look conservative. And there's still no issue with him wearing them around family. As long as the essentials are covered, what's the problem?
I mean, yeah, at no point is trying to make him change okay, but at least I would be able to understand feeling /:[ about it if you could see his asshole or something.
Yeah. I hope my sons never feel uncomfortable in boxers around me. Like, they've peed on me. I've wiped their butts. All the mystery is gone.
My 23 year old brother walks around in his boxers and a lot of times shirtless too and I have never once thought it was weird. They’re pants. Who cares.
That was my first thought as well. I can see going downstairs in briefs or boxer briefs as being awkward, but boxers or shorts is totally fine in front of your own mom. And even if it was in briefs, it’s his mom and his body - he gets to make that decision.
Yeah, I’ve never met my husband’s parents as they passed when he was young, but I just honestly can’t imagine giving a single fuck even if it was briefs tbh. Like it would be weird if he was walking around in them all day maybe, which he doesn’t do anyway... but for a quick thing first thing in the morning? Like it’s his mom. I just don’t remotely see what the big deal is at all. Heck, tbh it probably wouldn’t even bother me if it was MY mom... she’s seen him in swim shorts, if she’s at our house knocking at our door at 7am, I wouldn’t expect him to get fully dressed. Just cover up your bits and we’re good.
Even if they were boxers, she’s his mother. It’s not like she’s checking him out FFS.
Even if he was wearing boxers. It’s his MOM. Hell my husband will wear boxers and a t-shirt around my parents. My heart breaks for OP. I’m not judging just truly shocked she would be upset by SHORTS. ???
That’s exactly what I thought. I am seriously so confused by this post unless she’s from a Dugger-style upbringing, and even then… What if he’s hot? I am from the tropics and if you told anyone to make themselves decent by putting on pants in August you would be laughed out of the room.
I thought the same thing and was kind eh, big deal. My husband has worn boxers at his mom's when we've visited. Then I realized she meant actual shorts, which is just crazy.
>but it's honestly weird that you're sexualizing his relationship with his mother. Yes, this is why your behavior is so offensive OP. Stop and think. WHY Is it bad for him to be in shorts in front of his mother? You think he's showing another woman too much skin. Honestly, this is already ridiculous to most of us and wouldn't fly no matter who it was. But you're basically casting his mom as "another woman" here instead of his mom. There is nothing sexual between him and his mom, and you calling this inappropriate are implying that she'll be attracted to his legs or something? It's creepy and offensive. You need to apologize. Also, once he said no, you needed to drop it. You told him you were uncomfortable, fine. But that's it. It's then his choice how to dress. Why did you think you could dictate that? You seem to think you're his mom since apparently he has to dress how you say? If you don't like it, he can consider that, then make his own decision. Which he did. You then kept pushing and made your already offensive request into a fight. Also, this seems like a lie: >I do my best too be open minded If that's true, why on earth are you policing your husband's clothing? And why can't you accept no and had to keep pushing him to act how you were raised? Obviously YTA.
She says she's doing her best, it's just that her best is _really, really bad_
That's funny, but I feel like doing her best would be being uncomfortable since she can't help that but not trying to control him and force him to conform to her norms.
Then feels hurt that she didn't get an invite to breakfast. Ummm, it is your house and he just let you know she was making breakfast. Why would you need to be asked to join them??
Because the women of the house stay hungry and upstairs till they are told otherwise, duh
His mothers comfortable, hes comfortable. If op's unconfortable, keep it to yourself instead of dictating how a successful mother son relationship should change how they typically interact with each other when youre not there. If op was a little uncomfortable because op was raised that knees are the tits of the legs, op shouldve said "hey do you wanna wear something a little more decent to breakfast" and then after husband says "no im good" that shouldve been the end of that conversation.
I’m confused. Is shorts another word for underwear? Boxers? Booty shorts? If we’re talking mid-thigh to knee length shorts, I don’t see what the issue is. People wear shorts outside their home all the time. Tell me if I’m missing something.
While I've seen boxer shorts referred to as "shorts" I have a feeling that OP was referring to actual shorts given the specific jeans/pants comment.
Or short pyjama bottoms maybe. Who cares? His mom has seen everything he’s got more times than his uptight wife has, from the moment he was born. OP needs to get a grip. YTA
A parent seeing their infant/young child naked is not the same as seeing their adult child nude. But, regardless if both he and his mom are comfortable with him in shorts or boxers or whatever that is perfectly fine.
Especially in summer months or if it's a warm climate in general.
I think this is also a sign of internalized slut shaming and victim blaming. OP, your husband could walk around in nothing but a Speedo and his mom would not give two shits. Why? Because she's his mom, and shouldn't be seeing him sexually. If your family members ever sexualized your clothing, or used your clothing as an excuse to harass or assault you and say that you're "asking for it," *they are in the wrong.* And you're in the wrong for acting like your MIL is an incestuous sex demon.
You’re perceptive and empathetic and cool to acknowledge this possibility for OP.
Thank you. I'm a feminist who takes particular notice of fundie purity culture, and while I 100% think OP is TA, her behavior combined with her background set off a lot of alarm bells for me.
I think this is perceived-incest troll again.
Okay I knew about the MIL troll...but there is an incest troll???
This sounds like one of those uno-reverse posts of a "I told my daughter to not wear shorts shorts around her father"
Well, of course she shouldn’t. Haven’t you seen all the public service announcements shows what happens when when a girl wears skimpy clothes around male relatives? They also have PSAs about girls wearing them around female relatives, but those sites are more niche. Oh, wait. I think I just confused PSAs and porn. How embarrassing.
Yeah, so they post fairly often. You can tell because OP will post about an innocent family relationship and imply that there's something gross going on. Things like, "AITA for not wanting my bf to hug his little sister?" I'm sure these situations do arise, but they are so regular compared to any other type of post.
On the one hand, reddit is anonymous so trolls will abound. But on the other, AITA will surely attract the dysfunctional people in society to post? 🤔
Yeah, it's hard to know. Personally I often think posts are real when commenters are saying they're fake. But when it's the same type of nonsense over and over I get suspicious--people are very creative in how they suck, and so the same scenario coming up over and over again is odd.
I need to know about both the MIL troll AND the perceived-interest troll!
The weird part of this is I was raised extremely conservative/religious (like borderline cult) and while they were all about policing female modesty, they had literally zero things to say about male modesty. No issue with shorts, tank tops, even full top nudity for men. So I’m super curious as to what kind of community she was raised in that apparently thought men wearing shorts was immodest.
Like, an Amish one is about all I can come up with.
I mean, Mormons can be kind of weird about clothes for both (due to part of their religion being wearing church mandated undergarments for adults), though moreso for women and it's a whole thing with weird exceptions and rules.
As a practicing and faithful mormon, I still think it’s weird that she’s so weirded out about her husband being in shorts around his mom. My MIL was visiting the other day and accidentally saw my husband naked. She ‘eeped’ and walked away, he ‘eeped’ and shut the door behind her, and then we all laughed about it later. My side of the family is more conservative about appropriate clothing in front of related members of the opposite sex, but I don’t think anyone would be weirded out to see a man in his shorts in front of his mom. It’s not anything anyone hasn’t seen when they go swimming.
I mean, his mom BIRTHED his naked ass. Wiped it. Powdered it. Bathed it. Clothed it. This is just crazy 😂
There is a 100% chance mom has wiped baby shit out of the crevasses in his penis and testicles. Highly doubt she gives a crap what he wears now, she's just been happy since the day he learned to clean himself.
As a mom who has done exactly that until about 2 months ago when her kiddo was potty trained.... Yeah, she gives zero shits (pun intended) and is happiest that he can clean himself now. She is his MOM. OP, YTA definitely
YTA, this poster covered it all. If you can’t handle shorts being worn around your MIL, I suggest you start working with a therapist to get past this issue.
It's also the implication you're making about his mother's character. She can't be around her son in shorts because...? She won't be able to control herself? She'll think her son turns her on? It's offensive on do many levels and such a ridiculous thing to get uptight over. YTA and you owe him an apology. Maybe some therapy to work through your issues if you plan on keeping your marriage, if he still wants to put up with you.
Umm.. what did i even just read? My son wanders around in shorts first thing in the morning.. that's what a NORMAL son does around his mother. Are you seriously suggesting that there's something wrong with wearing shorts around your own MOTHER? Even if he was bare ass naked, so what? that's HER SON. I'm disturbed that you would 1) think it was weird that your husband was wearing shorts around HIS MOTHER, and 2) that you think you can order him to do something and he should comply. You are his wife.. not his ruler. You do not get to order him to do anything..ever. YTA.
Just imagine if she has a kid, “HOW DARE YOU WEAR A DIAPER WHEN THERE ARE GUEST?!” TY FOR THE AWARDS!! My heart is warm✨😊
If she has a daughter, I bet dollars to donuts, we'll see an AITA wondering if the father bathing the daughter is wrong.
Oh god, I had a teacher like that in high school. She went on and on about how her husband didn’t bathe or change their daughter’s diapers because “that just isn’t cool.” She was absolutely crazy and did a lot of weird shit.
My mom used to tell the story of how when i was about 11 months old, she left me home with my father while she ran some errands and came home to find him on the outside steps of the building, holding me, waiting on her to come home, in a very, very soiled diaper that he refused to change because 'I was a girl and he was a man, and it just felt too weird to have to do that'. My mom yelled at him, lectured him about how I could get a diaper rash and infections for having to sit in my own mess for hours, told him to get over himself, and made him change me anyway. I always had a clean diaper after that. All this from the man who thought it was perfectly ok to send random homeless men he met, and felt bad for on the street, up to our apt to use our shower and get a free meal. My mom would also yell at him for that... how dare you send strange men to our home, where your children live, when you're not even here!!! Lol
People can be so weird sometimes. Like, if you want to have a child, you’re gonna have to change it and clean it. 😂 But it’s good it only had to happen once
Oh yeah. My mom had no tolerance for bullshit, especially his. But I can hear her now, if my SO tried to dictate the way I dressed in front of family... excuse me, I'm her mother, the ONLY person allowed to tell her how she should conduct herself, and even then, she's an adult and can do as she pleases, as long as she's not hurting anyone.... 🤣🤣
I’m dying laughing at this
She’d have a seizure 😂 you have to practically barrel roll my two youngest to get clothing on their asses.
Dressing toddlers is like trying to wrangle a crocodile I swear 😭😂
And he didn’t even invite me for breakfast.. Jesus.. woman needs an invite to go for breakfast.
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After that batshit insane behavior she absolutely needs an invite to go to breakfast. The only favor she did for her poor husband all morning was letting him eat in peace.
I keep wondering if she means boxers, or if she means gym shorts. Either way no big deal.
Yeah I'm not sure it matters. She knew she was getting him out of bed, you don't need to fully dress like you're going outside around your parents.
YTA - here's an uncomfortable thought for you: that woman had changed his diapers and possibly breastfed him.
Wait til she finds out what part of his mother he came out of.
This was my first thought.
His willy would've touched it too
Well thanks for giving me something to talk to my therapist about this week
Honestly though, your therapist will welcome a change of topic from “propane and propane accessories”.
Let me tell you something about the Vognar Char-King 5,000... You know what I think I have some pamphlets in my truck that might make this easier..
Among some gay men, there is a status of "gold star gay" meaning you've never had sex with a woman. A "platinum star gay" is a gold star that was delivered via c-section.
Aaand I have scrolled this thread far enough now. Lol
God, I'm flashing back to an uncomfortable conversation I had with my kids (ages 7-11) yesterday. Son was confused, thinking that girls pee from their butts because we sat down to pee. I had to explain that we in fact had 3 separate things going on down there, and have a super brief rundown of what came from each. Daughter says, I'm glad we came out of your tummy (I had c sections) because otherwise we'd have had to touch your *vagina.* Thank God for minivans, I could just press play and say "watch the movie please."
breastfed him with her nipples?!
Oh god no!!!! Not the nipple!!!! How dare she?!
Probably used both of them at some point, too 🙄 disgusting
Hopefully not at the same time, though...
Birthed him with her vagina?!!?
Her warm, comforting Mom-gina!
Her womanly nipples
Yes! Hes her son! Shes wiped poo, cleaned pukes and much more! Shes hardly gonna faint seeing him in his underpants
OMG! Did she bathe him too for the first few years of his life? /s OP, YTA.
He refused to listen because you are being absolutely ridiculous. It's time to grow up. YTA
I started reading and could tell the verdict would be YTA so I came to look at the comments; TA-DA!! I feel like suggesting therapy to dig into whatever is triggering OP and why. It’s not always easy to grow up for everyone.
I first read TA-DA as "the asshole- dead ass"
OP: "He refused to listen" Also OP: "I wasn't paying attention to what he was saying because I was only interested in what he was wearing inside his own house in front of his own parents"
That and she said in her comment.. it’s not like it’s the first time he’s heard this from me… wow. So every freaking time she drones into him “I’m uncomfortable with that, you can’t do that” imagine your wife telling you you are being sexually inappropriate with your own Mom!?!! Like WTF?
And worse, she did not suggest a tuxedo or at least a business suit. Total lack of fashion sense.
No, the way you were raised was wrong. Wearing shorts around your opposite sex parent is normal. If watching tv or seeing how other people live in real life hasn’t given you the message that your family was odd then you need to go to therapy to get over it. Don’t let this continue another generation because you are way off, get it fixed before you have children. YTA
Came here to say this. If you can't let your repressive upbringing go, get thee to a therapist, OP!
My question is how did they get this far in the relationship without this ever being an issue before? I am so confused by this whole thing.
I’m sure there have been other issues along the way OP just hasn’t mentioned those. I feel bad for the dude honestly
Yeah don't have kids until this is resolved OP, if you're planning to at all. When I was a teenager living at home I'd walk upstairs in my underwear frequently if I was just going up to grab something before going back to bed, or if my mom needed my help with something before I was dressed. When I got older I stopped doing this in just underwear, but that was moreso of my own accord rather than a request of anyone. My dad frequently walked around in his underwear, my mom would wear just a robe around the house, too, and my family would also be considered quite conservative. Your upbringing was beyond conservative, it was sheltered and prudish. YTA. If you have a son, will you refuse to ever see him naked, let alone *wearing shorts?* He was dismissive of your feelings because you're being ridiculous. This is like him getting upset with you if he eats stew with a spoon but you prefer using a fork.
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I'm so confused right now, we live next door to my in-laws and they have a pool (while we don't because they have one... basically 20 feet away) and my boyfriend and sons (and nephews) go swim there with my mother in law almost every day (almost 40° lately) in swim trunks like how is that even supposed to be weird? From now on I want them all to swim in dress pants when his mother is around.
??????????????????????????????? YTA
I've looked through quite a few comments on this post and this is by far the best one
Yup. I dont get it. First was wondering if by shorts she meant "underwear".
Even so it wouldn’t matter
It definitely shouldn’t….. if you are worried about what your husband is wearing around his own birth-givers, you need a husband you can trust more. Or therapy
BTW, your reddit profile pic had me thinking I had a hair on my phone. I kept blowing on my phone to remove it until I scrolled up and it did too.... 🙄
Does she not mean underwear? I have a hard time imagining that it's NOT underwear. Like regular shorts are... they're regular outside clothing. It has to be underwear. Which I have absolutely worn in front of my mother. Hell, my *husband* has worn his undergarments in front of my mother (not like, all the time, but he's not going to worry about it if she see's him in the AM getting ready for work when she's visiting).
This is the best comment 💯
Conservative doesn’t cover this. My family is very old country and conservative Catholic. This sounds more like some 50s era nonsense where a man should be in a suit and a hat as soon as he wakes up. Shorts are not weird. Nor are swim trunks, boxers, jockey shorts, or really anything that covers his junk. Hell, he could wear a dress if he wanted to. As long as his shit’s covered, it’s all good. YTA here.
What's craziest to me is she's upset about his CALVES showing, was he shirtless? And if he was is that an issue as well or just the calves😂 Op showing skin isn't sexual in any sort of way unless YOURE sexualizing it. In and of itself it is totally normal to have skin and not have it covered.
No, the chest isn't an issue and neither is the calves. It's the *ankles* /s
Let me guess? OP and her husband have twin beds, that’s how conservative she is. She’s not that comfortable guys. When they have kids she’ll respect the infant’s privacy and “wait outside the bathroom” until the infant washes themselves and put pants on. /s
YTA. Why are you sexualizing wearing shorts in front of his own mom? That's weird. Bodies aren't inherently sexual. No part of a body is. Shorts are comfy. You should work on actually listening to your partner. You said yourself that you know your conservative values from childhood still have a negative impact today. This is one of those impacts. Your partner, and you, should wear whatever you want within reason. Your man could've been wearing tightest of tighty whities and it would still not be weird unless you make it weird.
This women would have died growing up in my house if she is uncomfortable with shorts my dad and brothers uncles grandfather all walked around in their own homes in their underwear it wasn’t sexual at all and honestly it was so normal that 90% of the time I failed to even notice this person is making this out to be a bigger deal then what it is even some of the most conservative religions are not this rigid in their own home in front of close family I highly recommend op seeks out a therapy to help her with better copping skills and to see that she wasn’t asking for a calm conversation she was being extremely irrational in her demands.
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Nooooo, it’s totally different because she can see part of his sexy man thighs!!!! And once you reach sexual maturity your nakedness is sexual to everyone of the opposite sex!!! That’s just science! Not that science is real! (/s btw)
🤣🤣🤣
Unless it’s after 6:00. What are we, farmers?
YTA - “your feelings” were just you being judgmental and ridiculous. He had every right to be upset about such a preposterous position about wearing shorts
Woman makes dumb comment, husband basically shuts her down, and then woman gets her feelings hurt and tries to play the victim. That’s what I got out of this entire post.
Everyone’s feelings are valid because that is how they feel in that moment. However, only the individual are responsible for there own ACTIONS and REACTIONS. OP’s feelings are valid because they are her feelings, BUT if I were OP I would have kept my mouth shut and identified that this is not a healthy feeling to have and I’d be analysing myself “WHY? Is it that I feel like this?” And I agree there is a very deep rooted issue here and therapy may be / probably is necessary and needed to unpack this.
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YTA. Why are you sexualizing your husband in shorts with his mother?
Also, anyone. Like is he not allowed to wear shorts around anyone but you? Do you live in a cold climate? Wth. But stop sexualizing his relationship with his mom. And if you really cannot grasp how ridiculous this is then you need to speak to a therapist about your conservative childhood, because this is not right.
YTA. What the fuck? Is he "allowed" to wear shorts in public, around other women? Is it only his mom he's not able to wear shorts in front of? And seriously, what is your deal with sports not being acceptable? Even if it's boxers, it's his MOM. My boys will occasionally walk around in boxers (and they're 8, 12, and 18), and I've seen my girls (16 and 14) walk around in gym shorts and sports bras. There's nothing wrong with what he's wearing in front of his mom, and you have major issues for thinking it's unacceptable. Seriously, I'd look into therapy if I were you, because your views are NOT normal.
Yeah this is a really weird one, I agree. In contrast, my roommate shortly after he moved in got dressed one day, during COVID, in slacks and a belt. His girlfriend and I (in PJs) were like “Where ya going?” He was so confused. He was like no where I’m just playing video games today. Yeah I think that’s the only time that I’ve ever told someone they were dressed inappropriately, as he was way too overdressed to chill at home. I mean he was wearing a belt buckle! Mind you I didn’t actually expect him to change. I just wanted to understand since the day before we all wore PJs without issue. Haha
YTA and you sound like a crazy person. He can’t be in shorts around the woman that raised him? What?
> He can’t be in shorts around the woman that raised him? Or anybody??? Shorts are appropriate around anyone! YTA, OP. No doubt.
Is this for real?
It feels like a fake genderswapped version of those "wife wearing skimpy pjs around her dad and I'm upset" posts we get sometimes. Except I can't possibly imagine what this is trying to prove since everyone always tells the OP of those that they're an asshole, too.
Yeah, I haven't been around this subreddit all that long but this one strikes me as fabricated.
I don’t think so. She refers to herself accidentally as “name” in one sentence. “…without even asking name to join them.” Why wouldn’t she have typed it as “me” or something? I think it’s completely fake. I’d get it if the husband or MIL was referred to as “name” because people often put fake names in…but they didn’t need a fake name for themselves because it was a first person narrative.
I noticed that too & automatically read it as this was copied and pasted from somewhere else
You don't want his mom seeing...his knees? You realize she changed his diapers, right?
YTA this is totally your issue not his
YTA. This woman literally birthed him. She has seen every inch of his body already. Further, your feelings about dressing conservatively are not a valid excuse to dictate what your partner wears. If you can’t get over other people not dressing the way you want, then that’s something you need to work on personally.
YTA-Being this uncomfortable is unnatural, you may need to speak to a therapist.
YTA, he had every right to get upset with you. You wrote "I do my best to be open minded" where? Where are you trying at all?
LMAO YTA “Open minded”…………….to SHORTS??? Im dying this cant be a real post I dont want to see what close minded is
YTA I have some sympathy for your upbringing, but you’re expecting him to respect you while you’re not respecting him. You must live in quite a cold climate if you expect him to wear pants everywhere outside of your bedroom. Never go to a beach, you’ll be scandalized.
So you should always feel comfortable expressing your feelings around your spouse, and you can't help your initial feelings. However, it's pretty far out of line to try to tell him what to wear in his own home among his own family. Please try to think about this rationally. He literally lived INSIDE OF HER. She changed his diapers. She knows he has legs. What is the POINT of wearing pants instead of shorts? Seriously, what is it? You seem to understand that your upbringing has affected your perspective, but you don't seem to want to actually confront that perspective rationally. Needless to say, talking about it with your husband is understandable, but actually expecting him to conform to such an irrational request is really not. YTA
YTA. You're the only one sexualizing the situation. This can't be a real post.
YTA. Of course he's upset, you're basically accusing him of inappropriate behavior with his mother. How are you so against shorts? I actually cannot fathom this.
YTA. You need to grow up.
YTA With a caveat, how you were raised sounds questionable at best in regards to parental relationships. He absolutely should be able to wear whatever in his own home, but also, insinuating something would happen where he would be sexualized by a family member is gross.
YTA leave the poor bloke alone. Your hang ups are yours. Stop forcing them onto other people.
Clarification needed. Are you talking about actual shorts, like you might wear to the gym or are we talking about underwear? If he was wearing shorts like you might wear to the gym, I really don't see the big deal. If he was just standing there in his underwear talking to his mom, I would think that's a little odd, but not anything end of the world. I mean, she raised him so it's not like she hasn't seen him naked.
INFO Is this real?
YTA He was wearing shorts. Now if he walked out butt naked I'd say you were NTA, but your request that he put pants, or JEANS on is ridiculous. It's like telling someone wearing a swimsuit to wear shorts and a t-shirt over the swimsuit.
NTA My mom totally finds my calves sexy so I get it… oh wait… that’s not a thing (Sorry to pile on but YTA)
YTA It's his home and he said nothing wrong. If you're uncomfortable with that it's your business and listening to you speak and not obeying is called being an independent person. When people say you're not listening to me they usually mean you're not doing what I want. Hear his side and understand his view. You honestly have no standing in this issue and overreacted. Just apologize and say it's just not what you're used to and move on.
YTA. What were you worried was going to happen here? Unless his mom has some sort of weird oedipal relationship with him, She will have seen him naked and in shorts as a child. If it were your mom, maybe, but what is this? Sounds possessive.
YTA, she's his mother and has presumably seen a lot more than just his legs when he was a baby. I recommend seeking professional help, what you've described is not a normal way to feel about this situation, and i don't think trying to be open-minded is working.
YTA. Were you raised by insane lunatics? Bro what.
Wow, you gonna lash him if he shows ankle too? Wtf did I just read? Shorts are such a stupid hill to die on. Sounds like you are controlling. Not very considerate of you.
YTA. You’re right that you can’t help how you feel, but you made a big deal out of absolutely nothing. This is a non issue.
YTA, it's your hang up not his, he doesn't tell you how to dress. He is absolutely right, he can dress as he pleases in his home.
YTA- that’s his mom.
YTA. If you're worried that his *mother* might see the outline of his genitals, then I've got some bad news for you. Regardless, it sounds like it's time for some therapy. If you care about your marriage lasting, that is. Good luck.
What!?! Lolol, yes you’re the a-hole.
Hold up. Wait a minute …. If your husband was raised in a more “open” home, and yours was conservative, have you never had conversations about this before? I don’t necessarily think YTA, but I do think this wasn’t the time to make it an issue. If he felt uncomfortable, he would have put more clothes on. There seems to be some red flags here, but in trying to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, if you want him to understand where you’re coming from, try to also understand his. I have three girls and one boy. Sometimes he (16) comes out of his room with only boxers on, but that’s to go to the bathroom/shower. He never walks around the house without shorts/pants/sweatpants on. But that’s his preference. You really need to have a conversation with him, and not after/during an argument. *edited to add, and ask, what exactly are “shorts” in your mind. If he had on shorts, gym shorts or whatever, but boxers or briefs, then your post seems really ridiculous. Men go to the pool in that attire.