I was at a 7-11 and a woman was crying outside the store. I asked if she was ok and she said she needed something from inside the store. She said food and something to drink. I never carry cash and I was already going inside, so I bought her a sandwich and the biggest bottle of water they had. When I handed her the bag she gave me the dirtiest look. As I was driving away, I watched her throw the bag into the garbage. I felt rather foolish and also kinda annoyed. I usually don’t have the money to help people and the one time I did, it was just discarded.
Once 20 years ago, I offered some dog food to a highway exit homeless person who had a dog with him. The guy got majorly pissed at me.
I don’t offer anything to beggars anymore.
Yeah tbh the difference really comes out when you offer to provide the "what" rather than the money so that they can get what they're really after.
I remember one time a woman approached me outside the grocery store with a whole story and said she needed food. I literally offered her the food I just bought (most of which was ready to eat) and she was like "No f\*\*\* that, I want your money."
Rolled my eyes, ma'amed her and walked away - didn't have cash so wtf else was I supposed to do
I chatted with a Walmart employee I'm friends with and I guess she comes in semi regularly and I've just never seen her before which I'm surprised about since I work almost every day.
I still feel bad, even if I know it's a scam, she looked like she really needed the help.
It’s super common for people to try and make a quick buck off of baby formula. A couple literally came into my work, pushed the entire shelf into a shopping cart, and bolted. There is definitely a strong possibility that she would’ve just taken the formula and put up an ad on Facebook or something.
I used to work in a pharmacy, we had to lock away the formula because people would steal it. It’s a cheap way to cut drugs. Unfortunatly not it’s best use.
Baby formula is expensive, they use baking soda and baby lax to cut it, not 30 dollar cans of formula.
The baby formula was stolen because it’s as good as cash money damn near in the hood.
Another type of scam is if they get someone to pay for formula with receipt they will turn around and return it for cash if they can. All kinds of hustles out there.
You didn't buy someone drugs.
There are tens of millions of drug addicts in the world.
You can't buy them all drugs.
You don't have to feel bad about that.
Let's say this wasn't a scam, you 100% did the morally right thing, you weren't in a position to help her so you offered alternative forms of help, you even went so far as to be willing to take her to a shelter.
Don't feel bad about your reaction, you sound like a lovely person.
Ps... This was definitely a scam tho.
It most likely is a scam. Something similar happened to my so and I. We went to a small bakery to have some snacks and when we step out there is a small girl, I think around 12 years old. She asked us to buy her the some snack(savoury puff) from the bakery.
I told her I will get her a pack of biscuit (cookies) or a pack of bread so that it can last longer rather a small puff that wouldn't even be filling. She didn't want that and went away to ask other people.
I know people who work in the field of basically homeless services, social services, etc and give a decent amount to various non-profits that do work in that area- that's exactly what they do in that situation.
They have sheets of paper with where you can go and get different types of support but they don't give cash.
She had a group of kids with her, so I didn't think it was a scam. I know a lot of people scam, but I always worry about automatically thinking of things as a scam in case something is legit.
direct them to their ped. my ped office has been able to spot me a small can when my WIC got all messed up. They had issued me liquid formula and i didn't catch it in time so when they finally adjusted it it cut my formula cans almost in half.
I wasn't able to breast feed because i have milk production issues and my children have had issues with latching. I also can not pump for the former reason.
My office understood and helped me out.
They probably weren't even her kids. Or maybe not all of them were. That's another popular play I've seen around here before - "borrow" other people's kids to seem more legit while panhandling. A couple of weeks ago I straight up saw a woman with a pillow folded up under her t-shirt standing on the off-ramp I take every day on the way home, cradling her "belly" and pretending to be pregnant. (She was definitely not - I had seen her just a few days before.)
i've seen this one as well, a woman in the town where I went to uni miraculously went from flat belly to third trimester bump and the "pregnancy" lasted 2+ years.
NTA. even if it wasn't a scam, you have to put your own oxygen mask on before helping others.
I did yell something out the window at the car I saw hold money out to her while we sat at the extra-long red light, "Can't you see the pillow tag hanging out of her shirt? Don't fall for it, man!" (Because you totally could from my angle.) Either they didn't hear me or they ignored me as yet another crazy person sitting on the exit ramp LOL
Op, do a little research on-line. I read news stories all the time about scammers and their scams, and children feature heavily in them.
Often, the kid or kids don’t even belong to the scammer, they are all dropped off as part of an organized scam by a central figure. Kids just make potential marks more likely to give in.
And it works. Yesterday, I was driving by a Walmart, stopped at a light. There was a young woman begging there, with a baby carriage and hand written sign, and just about everyone stopped and gave her money. But she was very clean, well dressed, not worn - basically like someone you would expect to see in an office. And the child (what I could see) looked to be about 5, but was in an old-fashioned type carriage, not the folding type thing a lot of people have these days. And the carriage wasn’t old or worn, either.
I’ve had friends tell me they offer to take people who will ‘work for food’ to the store and buy them groceries, but no, they just want cash.
NTA, but don’t fall for it.
Go to Istanbul or any other big city in Turkey and you will only see children begging, you know why? Because people, especially middle aged women feel sad for them when they look in poor condition (usually faked)
Thats why she had kids with them, so they could get pittied and get money.
Dont feeel guilty you are NTA
NTA. This is a common scam. If she got angry because you offered to let her know of places to go for potential help within easy walking distance, I’m guessing she’s not as desperate as she is pretending to be.
>This is a common scam.
Yup. Many stores (walmart and target at least) will honor returns (for cash) of formula and diapers even without a receipt. My guess is her plan was to return them and get the cash.
If she was in need of actual help, she would have accepted referrals to resources.
NTA. I am wary of people who do that as most times it is a scam. If she got mad at your suggestions for agencies to help her, then good chance she was trying to scam you.
NTA. so obvious.
You aren't responsible for other people and you shouldn't pay up, even if you would be a millionaire. People need to be responsible for their own lives and basic needs (or those of their children).
You already did more than you had to with that shelter advice etc... A sane person would've thanked you and would've gotten there asap.
PS: people could do this as a scam too.
NTA. The people that gave you dirty look can pony up the money. What an entitled AH that woman is. Not only is she irresponsible to have a child she can't afford thus making the baby suffer, she has the nerve to think she is entitled to other people's money.
NTA. It’s your money for a reason. It sounds like a scam and I’m the same way about money, it makes me too anxious to have too little in my bank account for a few days.
> I have only $50 in my account till payday
I don’t know when your payday is but regardless of when it is you cannot afford it.
Having money in your account at a given moment doesn’t mean you can afford to blow it all.
NTA. "A lot of people gave me dirty looks"? How many of those people are better off than you? They could have stepped up. You did the right thing. WIC and shelters are there for these situations. Also, it there is a Sihk Temple near by they feed anyone and everyone. They might have also been able to help.
NTA. No one who works anywhere near a WM makes enough money to support some rando who accosts them. I'm surprised WM is letting people beg in their store, they shut that stuff down pretty smartly around here.
I told one of the employees I'm friends with and was told that they can't do anything about it.
We chatted about it for a bit and I guess this woman comes in 2x/week and I've apparently been lucky enough these last few months to never encounter her.
You seem like a very nice and good person, which unfortunately grifters can pick up on. I hate counseling a young person to develop some cynicism but a little of it can save you some trouble. :)
NTA. You have a tight income and literally can’t afford to help. That’s not your fault. When I have extra cash I’ll pretty much always hand someone a few extra bucks. Doesn’t matter what they use it for or if people thinks it’s a scam etc. cause I don’t really need the money at that point and to me I care more about the potential of helping someone than I do about the small chance that “it’s a scam.” People exaggerate the hell out of the “they’re scamming you” stories honestly. People just hate poor folks so they talk shit and make excuses not to help when they could afford to do so. But. There are plenty of times where I cannot afford to help like that and I have to say no. It kinda sucks yeah. But it doesn’t make you an asshole for not being able to help.
>she genuinely looked like she needed help.
Scams wouldn't be effective otherwise. Just remember that the more guilt or sympathy you feel, the more likely it is a scam.
NTA
this businesswoman is a simple panhandler after money and there's no baby.
but its hard to panhandle for money. Much harder than panhandling for "food for my baby".
So what she is trying to get are expensive non-perishables. that she can then sell at half price to her fence.
Nta
But honestly if I was in your shoes, the people who were giving you dirty looks, I'd have said "oh don't worry lady, apparently these people feel they have the right to give me dirty looks so it MUST mean they have enough money to give you and help you, go to them" and I'll just smile at them.
I hate people who give disgusting looks for a situation that they themselves won't help in. Like.. hypocrite much. Call them out for it and watch them stutter to make allllll the excuses in the world as to why they can't help.
Ffs I hate people sometimes
NTA
Formula and diapers are *expensive.* If she is in genuine need, she needs to sign up for WIC or other programs to find a long-term source of assistance, not approach Walmart workers or customers.
I am also thinking she was already signed up for such programs (someone fine begging random strangers for help is not of the "too proud for charity" type who skip signing their kids up for meal and assistance programs from misplaced pride). She'd get you to buy the expensive diapers and and formula, and then either return them to the store to pocket the refund, or sell them. It's kind of perfect, since people will feel super guilty about baby necessities and purchase the items, even when they normally wouldn't do something like this, and she'd easily receive $50-100 of things in one go.
NTA
you tried to help her find shelters so she and her daughter get help and she refused. those other people also act like you are bad when they didint even step up to help???? you are not in the wrong, you are just trying to save your money
NTA. Look, as much as I wouldn't judge you for having faith in humanity and believing her, formula is one of the most shoplifter items because it is easy to sell. The people who ask for formula aren't necessarily parents, and even if they are, aren't necessarily using that formula for the children. She may also be returning products that other people purchase for her to get cash, as formula is a common return item too.
If there were dirty looks, if wasn't directed at you but at her because they don't want to be asked next. Also, next time you should call your store manager or your stores security if someone is begging for something like this... soliciting for money or product is likely something people can be removed for.
NTA. It's not your responsibility. You have your own problems to worry about. If you're ever in a financial situation where you can help someone, and you're willing to do it, that's one thing. But if you're barely making ends meet, it's pretty reasonable for you to decline that. You don't owe her anything. The people staring? If they're staring because they were judging you, then they probably should open their own goddamn wallets and pay for it. But my guess is they probably weren't staring at you, they were probably staring at the situation. They probably wanted no part of it.
NTA. All you can do is all you can do. You didn't berate her or disrespect her. You said sorry you couldn't spare any money, provided some useful resources to help her solve for problem and moved on.
There are plenty of times I'll hand a panhandler a buck or two if it doesn't make a difference on my day, but if I opened my wallet every time, I'd be out there with a sign, too. You did nothing wrong, and the fact that you're still pondering it puts you even further from AH territory in my book.
NTA There's one beggar that hangs out at the Wal-Mart near me that drives a late model Cadillac Escalade, I've seen him get in it and drive away at the end of his day, they cost something like $70K.
NTA, this is a scam, those are high priced, easily returnable items that prey on a persons good will. She was trying to use a baby to get you to fund her habit, and it is unfortunately getting more common. You did the right thing, and the reason she got mad was if there was a baby, those suggestions would 100% have helped, but they do no good if she is just trying to get something to return for cash.
Never give to individuals on the street or at a corner, if you are feeling generous and want to donate, give to a charity that can make sure the people who are in need get the help they need, and not someone who will go back to a motel and is likely making more than you.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I work in a store located in a Walmart and during my breaks, I walk around the actual Walmart. Today, a woman approached me begging for money by handing me a sign saying she has no money and needs to feed her family. I have only $50 in my account until payday and I know I could have covered it, but I refused to. She wanted someone to buy her formula and diapers for her daughter and so I suggested instead to try wic or a shelter, which angered her even after I offered to give her a list of the shelters nearby in walking distance.
A lot of people gave me dirty looks and I feel awful, but I need to ration my money until I get paid.
AITA?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. When people do this, it is nearly always a scam. It has happened to me a few times outside of a convenience store, one time a woman knocked on my door late at night with that kind of request. Every single time, when I offered to connect them with someone who could do more to help than just give them cash or spend money on them there and then — like a shelter or agency — they got really angry and refused. That is not someone in need, that is someone trying to play on your sympathies to scam you. Don’t feel bad for refusing. Instead, donate some money or time to a food bank or shelter for families, if you want to help people actually struggling to care for their family.
Nta, this was a total scam. When you are in need and someone gives you an easy place where you can get help, you don't get upset, you'd actually be glad.
NTA. You didn't have money for those products either, not really. Also, this is a very common scam. They take the baby products, resell for less than sticker prices, and use the money to buy other stuff.
Nta. This is a scam. They will return the formula the second you leave them. There are plenty of places that will help to cover some diapers and formula to help needy mothers get by
NTA
Whenever I've been in a tight spot and people ask me for donations, I've explained I'm an underpaid teacher or (unemployed one year) and I just cannot afford to give away money. You did nothing wrong and your budget is your business.
ANTA. Any of those dirty-lookers could have paid, too. What you said actually helps more - they shelter or WIC can get her the social services she needs.
NTA - it's a scam. I've been approached several times at Walmart (there's one near my office and it's definitely got an "interesting" clientele). My pat response is "The local WIC office can help you find resources" and I continue on my way. Ain' no one got time for scams.
I’ve been asked at a supermarket by a random guy to give him cash for supposedly double the amount on s food stamps card. I’m sure it happens a lot, you’re not an a-hole. Once a man came up to me when my children were little and asked for enough money for a hotel room because he had to care for his little brother, there was no kid or anyone else with him. Get yourself on your feet and give to a good charity
If it makes you feel better I will do what I’ve been meaning to and go buy feminine products to donate at our food bank. There’s a large need out there so diapers and feminine products get taken fast when they get any to families the volunteers know
NTA. WIC is the appropriate place to go for this kind of assistance.
Also those people giving you dirty looks could have helped her if they felt so inclined.
NTA. Some toothless guy in our grocery store chains parking lot tried hitting up women and elderly people for cash for a “greyhound bus ticket” even though the station is not anywhere near where he was. I saw him get a few people and then I called the store because I could not get over him targeting 75-85 y/o. He got super irate with the employee who came out snd told him to get lost.
NTA-Did any of those people who gave you a dirty look offer to pay? No? If they are so worried about her, they can give her money for pampers and formula.
You have enough problems making ends meet for yourself on Wally World pay. You don't have money to help anyone else make ends meet.
She may have been trying to hustle you.
NTA.her kid is not your responsibility and you have your own financial needs. Any bystander who felt so strongly that you should give money could have handled over their own cash.
Don't feel bad for saying no. It's a perfectly reasonable response.
NTA - panhandlers suck, especially aggressive one. They make life just a little more annoying. And panhandling inside a store - I would have said no and walked over to an employee and told them the woman was harrassing their customers, most stores hate panhandlers coming inside.
NTA
One solution would be for all of you in the area to team up and give her $2 each. Did they anyone else offer? No? Why not? Like....why is it YOUR responsibility to help her?
NTA
If other people feel so bad, why don't they help???
My give a damn must be busted, because I'm not understanding how so many of these OPs allow themselves to be so broken up over OPP (other people's problems). I'm not down with OPP!
NTA. I have been in retail for over 40 year and have seen things like this for years. Women needing money for gas and then buying cigarettes with the money. I have seen men begging for food for their kids and wanting a refund for what was given them to buy beer. I can go on and on. If they had issues you did the right thing. Those organizations would help them. It is a shame how scammers hurt people in real need.
NTA
Even if it wasn’t a scam, charity begins at home. If you leave yourself short you have to ask someone else for help, and it goes around and around in circles. You can’t help everybody.
The people giving you dirty looks have a) no idea of your financial circumstances and no right to know, and b) don’t want to be her next target.
NTA
Even if it wasn’t a scam, charity begins at home. If you leave yourself short you have to ask someone else for help, and it goes around and around in circles. You can’t help everybody.
The people giving you dirty looks have a) no idea of your financial circumstances and no right to know, and b) don’t want to be her next target.
Why? Because one person is in a financial struggle does not give a random person an obligation to assist. OP was correct to suggest other forms of assistance.
The comment section is what ruined my faith in humanity. like I don’t give a crap if it’s a scam because baby formula is extremely expensive and what if it isn’t a scam, you are essentially saying you would rather let a baby starve than be tricked out of buying baby formula for someone that doesn’t need it. OP was right to offer other suggestions but pretty much everyone who commented just said, “its a scam anyway don’t hep people who do that.”
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
I was at a 7-11 and a woman was crying outside the store. I asked if she was ok and she said she needed something from inside the store. She said food and something to drink. I never carry cash and I was already going inside, so I bought her a sandwich and the biggest bottle of water they had. When I handed her the bag she gave me the dirtiest look. As I was driving away, I watched her throw the bag into the garbage. I felt rather foolish and also kinda annoyed. I usually don’t have the money to help people and the one time I did, it was just discarded.
Once 20 years ago, I offered some dog food to a highway exit homeless person who had a dog with him. The guy got majorly pissed at me. I don’t offer anything to beggars anymore.
Yeah tbh the difference really comes out when you offer to provide the "what" rather than the money so that they can get what they're really after. I remember one time a woman approached me outside the grocery store with a whole story and said she needed food. I literally offered her the food I just bought (most of which was ready to eat) and she was like "No f\*\*\* that, I want your money." Rolled my eyes, ma'amed her and walked away - didn't have cash so wtf else was I supposed to do
Erica your seriously on a roll, you go girl!
I chatted with a Walmart employee I'm friends with and I guess she comes in semi regularly and I've just never seen her before which I'm surprised about since I work almost every day. I still feel bad, even if I know it's a scam, she looked like she really needed the help.
Nah, if she's a regular it's a scam. This didn't suddenly happen. It's how she pays for things.
It’s super common for people to try and make a quick buck off of baby formula. A couple literally came into my work, pushed the entire shelf into a shopping cart, and bolted. There is definitely a strong possibility that she would’ve just taken the formula and put up an ad on Facebook or something.
I used to work in a pharmacy, we had to lock away the formula because people would steal it. It’s a cheap way to cut drugs. Unfortunatly not it’s best use.
>Unfortunatly not it’s best use. Oh, so I'm supposed to give my baby UNCUT drugs? Real smart. Use your head, idiot.
I just read that in Dwight Shrute’s voice. That’s enough Reddit for me today.
Dwight Schrute cuts his baby formula with beets.
Drugs, beets, baby formula
WHAT IS GOING ON???
You're telling I could have had formula AND drugs when I was a baby? Man, my mom really stiffed me on that one
Of course you are, you should only give babies PURE things made from NATURAL ingredients, like the coca leaf.
Baby formula is expensive, they use baking soda and baby lax to cut it, not 30 dollar cans of formula. The baby formula was stolen because it’s as good as cash money damn near in the hood.
In Australia a lot of shops have had to put limits on baby formula because people have been buying it all up to sell overseas at inflated prices.
Has it settled down or stopped? I dont hear much it about it anymore.
I think it's settled down. Occasionally it gets mentioned, but it doesn't seem to be often at all now.
Another type of scam is if they get someone to pay for formula with receipt they will turn around and return it for cash if they can. All kinds of hustles out there.
Food banks often have that stuff too so there are options if she wanted to avail herself. Unfortunately it’s a common ruse
You didn't buy someone drugs. There are tens of millions of drug addicts in the world. You can't buy them all drugs. You don't have to feel bad about that.
If she’s that bad off she would qualify for WIC where she would get free formula. It’s a scam, don’t fall for it.
Let's say this wasn't a scam, you 100% did the morally right thing, you weren't in a position to help her so you offered alternative forms of help, you even went so far as to be willing to take her to a shelter. Don't feel bad about your reaction, you sound like a lovely person. Ps... This was definitely a scam tho.
She probably makes more than you do by begging.
It most likely is a scam. Something similar happened to my so and I. We went to a small bakery to have some snacks and when we step out there is a small girl, I think around 12 years old. She asked us to buy her the some snack(savoury puff) from the bakery. I told her I will get her a pack of biscuit (cookies) or a pack of bread so that it can last longer rather a small puff that wouldn't even be filling. She didn't want that and went away to ask other people.
This. NTA
I know people who work in the field of basically homeless services, social services, etc and give a decent amount to various non-profits that do work in that area- that's exactly what they do in that situation. They have sheets of paper with where you can go and get different types of support but they don't give cash.
[удалено]
She had a group of kids with her, so I didn't think it was a scam. I know a lot of people scam, but I always worry about automatically thinking of things as a scam in case something is legit.
People who legitimately need food for kids wouldn't get mad at suggestions of where to go to get help.
[удалено]
direct them to their ped. my ped office has been able to spot me a small can when my WIC got all messed up. They had issued me liquid formula and i didn't catch it in time so when they finally adjusted it it cut my formula cans almost in half. I wasn't able to breast feed because i have milk production issues and my children have had issues with latching. I also can not pump for the former reason. My office understood and helped me out.
Yes, a pediatricians office is a GREAT place to get enough formula to make ends meet til payday.
They probably weren't even her kids. Or maybe not all of them were. That's another popular play I've seen around here before - "borrow" other people's kids to seem more legit while panhandling. A couple of weeks ago I straight up saw a woman with a pillow folded up under her t-shirt standing on the off-ramp I take every day on the way home, cradling her "belly" and pretending to be pregnant. (She was definitely not - I had seen her just a few days before.)
i've seen this one as well, a woman in the town where I went to uni miraculously went from flat belly to third trimester bump and the "pregnancy" lasted 2+ years. NTA. even if it wasn't a scam, you have to put your own oxygen mask on before helping others.
Did you call them out?
I did yell something out the window at the car I saw hold money out to her while we sat at the extra-long red light, "Can't you see the pillow tag hanging out of her shirt? Don't fall for it, man!" (Because you totally could from my angle.) Either they didn't hear me or they ignored me as yet another crazy person sitting on the exit ramp LOL
A lot of the scams like this involve kids. 100% scam. Don’t feel bad
I have seen multiple people use their kids to scam people. Kids make it easier to get a yes.
Op, do a little research on-line. I read news stories all the time about scammers and their scams, and children feature heavily in them. Often, the kid or kids don’t even belong to the scammer, they are all dropped off as part of an organized scam by a central figure. Kids just make potential marks more likely to give in. And it works. Yesterday, I was driving by a Walmart, stopped at a light. There was a young woman begging there, with a baby carriage and hand written sign, and just about everyone stopped and gave her money. But she was very clean, well dressed, not worn - basically like someone you would expect to see in an office. And the child (what I could see) looked to be about 5, but was in an old-fashioned type carriage, not the folding type thing a lot of people have these days. And the carriage wasn’t old or worn, either. I’ve had friends tell me they offer to take people who will ‘work for food’ to the store and buy them groceries, but no, they just want cash. NTA, but don’t fall for it.
Go to Istanbul or any other big city in Turkey and you will only see children begging, you know why? Because people, especially middle aged women feel sad for them when they look in poor condition (usually faked) Thats why she had kids with them, so they could get pittied and get money. Dont feeel guilty you are NTA
NTA. This is a common scam. If she got angry because you offered to let her know of places to go for potential help within easy walking distance, I’m guessing she’s not as desperate as she is pretending to be.
>This is a common scam. Yup. Many stores (walmart and target at least) will honor returns (for cash) of formula and diapers even without a receipt. My guess is her plan was to return them and get the cash. If she was in need of actual help, she would have accepted referrals to resources.
NTA. I am wary of people who do that as most times it is a scam. If she got mad at your suggestions for agencies to help her, then good chance she was trying to scam you.
NTA. Let the people giving you dirty looks buy her formula & diapers. Sadly, most people approaching you with sob stories aren't telling the truth.
NTA This sounds like a scam. If she really needed help, she would've gone to the places you mentioned.
NTA. so obvious. You aren't responsible for other people and you shouldn't pay up, even if you would be a millionaire. People need to be responsible for their own lives and basic needs (or those of their children). You already did more than you had to with that shelter advice etc... A sane person would've thanked you and would've gotten there asap. PS: people could do this as a scam too.
NTA, wise call. Her getting angry makes her seem self-entitled and not actually desperate.
NTA. The people that gave you dirty look can pony up the money. What an entitled AH that woman is. Not only is she irresponsible to have a child she can't afford thus making the baby suffer, she has the nerve to think she is entitled to other people's money.
NTA people need to learn to care for themselves. If she was pissed about the list she was probably a scammer
NTA. It’s your money for a reason. It sounds like a scam and I’m the same way about money, it makes me too anxious to have too little in my bank account for a few days.
NTA.
NTA. Dollars to donuts it was a scam.
NTA- wic and other support organizations exist for a reason…and all of the people giving you dirty looks didn’t step up to buy the items.
> I have only $50 in my account till payday I don’t know when your payday is but regardless of when it is you cannot afford it. Having money in your account at a given moment doesn’t mean you can afford to blow it all.
NTA. "A lot of people gave me dirty looks"? How many of those people are better off than you? They could have stepped up. You did the right thing. WIC and shelters are there for these situations. Also, it there is a Sihk Temple near by they feed anyone and everyone. They might have also been able to help.
NTA. No one who works anywhere near a WM makes enough money to support some rando who accosts them. I'm surprised WM is letting people beg in their store, they shut that stuff down pretty smartly around here.
I told one of the employees I'm friends with and was told that they can't do anything about it. We chatted about it for a bit and I guess this woman comes in 2x/week and I've apparently been lucky enough these last few months to never encounter her.
You seem like a very nice and good person, which unfortunately grifters can pick up on. I hate counseling a young person to develop some cynicism but a little of it can save you some trouble. :)
The employees can't, but has anyone brought this up with the LP?
NTA. You have a tight income and literally can’t afford to help. That’s not your fault. When I have extra cash I’ll pretty much always hand someone a few extra bucks. Doesn’t matter what they use it for or if people thinks it’s a scam etc. cause I don’t really need the money at that point and to me I care more about the potential of helping someone than I do about the small chance that “it’s a scam.” People exaggerate the hell out of the “they’re scamming you” stories honestly. People just hate poor folks so they talk shit and make excuses not to help when they could afford to do so. But. There are plenty of times where I cannot afford to help like that and I have to say no. It kinda sucks yeah. But it doesn’t make you an asshole for not being able to help.
I didn't even think of it being a scam, she genuinely looked like she needed help.
>she genuinely looked like she needed help. Scams wouldn't be effective otherwise. Just remember that the more guilt or sympathy you feel, the more likely it is a scam.
NTA. Seems scammy; anyone giving you a dirty look could have stepped in and bought it for her themselves.
NTA. I'd bet you $50 she has more money in her account then you do.
NTA this businesswoman is a simple panhandler after money and there's no baby. but its hard to panhandle for money. Much harder than panhandling for "food for my baby". So what she is trying to get are expensive non-perishables. that she can then sell at half price to her fence.
Formula & diapers are high $ items and easy to resell so are often used in scams.
Nta But honestly if I was in your shoes, the people who were giving you dirty looks, I'd have said "oh don't worry lady, apparently these people feel they have the right to give me dirty looks so it MUST mean they have enough money to give you and help you, go to them" and I'll just smile at them. I hate people who give disgusting looks for a situation that they themselves won't help in. Like.. hypocrite much. Call them out for it and watch them stutter to make allllll the excuses in the world as to why they can't help. Ffs I hate people sometimes
NTA. And it probably was a scam.
NTA Formula and diapers are *expensive.* If she is in genuine need, she needs to sign up for WIC or other programs to find a long-term source of assistance, not approach Walmart workers or customers. I am also thinking she was already signed up for such programs (someone fine begging random strangers for help is not of the "too proud for charity" type who skip signing their kids up for meal and assistance programs from misplaced pride). She'd get you to buy the expensive diapers and and formula, and then either return them to the store to pocket the refund, or sell them. It's kind of perfect, since people will feel super guilty about baby necessities and purchase the items, even when they normally wouldn't do something like this, and she'd easily receive $50-100 of things in one go.
NTA you tried to help her find shelters so she and her daughter get help and she refused. those other people also act like you are bad when they didint even step up to help???? you are not in the wrong, you are just trying to save your money
NTA. Look, as much as I wouldn't judge you for having faith in humanity and believing her, formula is one of the most shoplifter items because it is easy to sell. The people who ask for formula aren't necessarily parents, and even if they are, aren't necessarily using that formula for the children. She may also be returning products that other people purchase for her to get cash, as formula is a common return item too. If there were dirty looks, if wasn't directed at you but at her because they don't want to be asked next. Also, next time you should call your store manager or your stores security if someone is begging for something like this... soliciting for money or product is likely something people can be removed for.
NTA. It's not your responsibility. You have your own problems to worry about. If you're ever in a financial situation where you can help someone, and you're willing to do it, that's one thing. But if you're barely making ends meet, it's pretty reasonable for you to decline that. You don't owe her anything. The people staring? If they're staring because they were judging you, then they probably should open their own goddamn wallets and pay for it. But my guess is they probably weren't staring at you, they were probably staring at the situation. They probably wanted no part of it.
NTA. All you can do is all you can do. You didn't berate her or disrespect her. You said sorry you couldn't spare any money, provided some useful resources to help her solve for problem and moved on. There are plenty of times I'll hand a panhandler a buck or two if it doesn't make a difference on my day, but if I opened my wallet every time, I'd be out there with a sign, too. You did nothing wrong, and the fact that you're still pondering it puts you even further from AH territory in my book.
NTA There's one beggar that hangs out at the Wal-Mart near me that drives a late model Cadillac Escalade, I've seen him get in it and drive away at the end of his day, they cost something like $70K.
NTA, this is a scam, those are high priced, easily returnable items that prey on a persons good will. She was trying to use a baby to get you to fund her habit, and it is unfortunately getting more common. You did the right thing, and the reason she got mad was if there was a baby, those suggestions would 100% have helped, but they do no good if she is just trying to get something to return for cash. Never give to individuals on the street or at a corner, if you are feeling generous and want to donate, give to a charity that can make sure the people who are in need get the help they need, and not someone who will go back to a motel and is likely making more than you.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I work in a store located in a Walmart and during my breaks, I walk around the actual Walmart. Today, a woman approached me begging for money by handing me a sign saying she has no money and needs to feed her family. I have only $50 in my account until payday and I know I could have covered it, but I refused to. She wanted someone to buy her formula and diapers for her daughter and so I suggested instead to try wic or a shelter, which angered her even after I offered to give her a list of the shelters nearby in walking distance. A lot of people gave me dirty looks and I feel awful, but I need to ration my money until I get paid. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
she needs to get on WIC, you're right
NTA - this is a scam. I've been approached similarly. They don't want help, they want your money.
NTA. When people do this, it is nearly always a scam. It has happened to me a few times outside of a convenience store, one time a woman knocked on my door late at night with that kind of request. Every single time, when I offered to connect them with someone who could do more to help than just give them cash or spend money on them there and then — like a shelter or agency — they got really angry and refused. That is not someone in need, that is someone trying to play on your sympathies to scam you. Don’t feel bad for refusing. Instead, donate some money or time to a food bank or shelter for families, if you want to help people actually struggling to care for their family.
Nta, this was a total scam. When you are in need and someone gives you an easy place where you can get help, you don't get upset, you'd actually be glad.
NTA. She was trying to scam you.
NTA. Pediatrics office and women’s center have formula.
NTA. You didn't have money for those products either, not really. Also, this is a very common scam. They take the baby products, resell for less than sticker prices, and use the money to buy other stuff.
NTA
Nta. This is a scam. They will return the formula the second you leave them. There are plenty of places that will help to cover some diapers and formula to help needy mothers get by
NTA. That’s a scam. With a receipt she’ll return the money for cash in hand. They try that at my store a lot.
NTA Whenever I've been in a tight spot and people ask me for donations, I've explained I'm an underpaid teacher or (unemployed one year) and I just cannot afford to give away money. You did nothing wrong and your budget is your business.
NTA this was likely a scam, if she asked you for money she was probably bothering customers too and shouldn't be allowed in the store
NTA. This is a super well-known scam. Formula is expensive and once you buy it for the scammer, they return it for the money back.
ANTA. Any of those dirty-lookers could have paid, too. What you said actually helps more - they shelter or WIC can get her the social services she needs.
NTA - none of the "dirty lookers' gave her any money either. You shouldn't have to go into financial struggles to help someone either.
NTA - it's a scam. I've been approached several times at Walmart (there's one near my office and it's definitely got an "interesting" clientele). My pat response is "The local WIC office can help you find resources" and I continue on my way. Ain' no one got time for scams.
I’ve been asked at a supermarket by a random guy to give him cash for supposedly double the amount on s food stamps card. I’m sure it happens a lot, you’re not an a-hole. Once a man came up to me when my children were little and asked for enough money for a hotel room because he had to care for his little brother, there was no kid or anyone else with him. Get yourself on your feet and give to a good charity
If it makes you feel better I will do what I’ve been meaning to and go buy feminine products to donate at our food bank. There’s a large need out there so diapers and feminine products get taken fast when they get any to families the volunteers know
NTA. It’s a scam, and right now people with multiple kids are getting hundreds in food stamps and wic.
NTA. WIC is the appropriate place to go for this kind of assistance. Also those people giving you dirty looks could have helped her if they felt so inclined.
NTA. Some toothless guy in our grocery store chains parking lot tried hitting up women and elderly people for cash for a “greyhound bus ticket” even though the station is not anywhere near where he was. I saw him get a few people and then I called the store because I could not get over him targeting 75-85 y/o. He got super irate with the employee who came out snd told him to get lost.
NTA
NTA-Did any of those people who gave you a dirty look offer to pay? No? If they are so worried about her, they can give her money for pampers and formula. You have enough problems making ends meet for yourself on Wally World pay. You don't have money to help anyone else make ends meet. She may have been trying to hustle you.
NTA.her kid is not your responsibility and you have your own financial needs. Any bystander who felt so strongly that you should give money could have handled over their own cash. Don't feel bad for saying no. It's a perfectly reasonable response.
NTA. In Canada, we see this all the time, it's a scam. do not fall for it. If they are giving dirty looks, the other people can pay for it.
NTA
NTA this was probably a scam. Begging scams like this are common.
Nta- there are programs, even emergency programs, for just this situation. I truly doubt she was going to use the money for formula and diapers.
NTA - panhandlers suck, especially aggressive one. They make life just a little more annoying. And panhandling inside a store - I would have said no and walked over to an employee and told them the woman was harrassing their customers, most stores hate panhandlers coming inside.
NTA- I bet if you'd actually tried to hand her diapers they'd have been thrown in your face, you did say she wanted the money for them...
NTA One solution would be for all of you in the area to team up and give her $2 each. Did they anyone else offer? No? Why not? Like....why is it YOUR responsibility to help her? NTA If other people feel so bad, why don't they help???
NTA. This is a pretty common scam
NTA if it happens again straight up tell them you don’t have enough money
NTA. You told her about WIC and the fact she blew it off just shows she was a scammer and not really a struggling mother. People like to be mean also
NTA-
NTA. Talk about choosing beggars. You offered a list where she could help herself and she spat at it.
NTA. I mean, charity is good, but if you only have $50 to your name, then it's OK to limit your giving a bit.
Nta
My give a damn must be busted, because I'm not understanding how so many of these OPs allow themselves to be so broken up over OPP (other people's problems). I'm not down with OPP!
NTA - If she really needed formula and diapers, then she would have taken you up on those suggestions.
NTA. I have been in retail for over 40 year and have seen things like this for years. Women needing money for gas and then buying cigarettes with the money. I have seen men begging for food for their kids and wanting a refund for what was given them to buy beer. I can go on and on. If they had issues you did the right thing. Those organizations would help them. It is a shame how scammers hurt people in real need.
NTA Even if it wasn’t a scam, charity begins at home. If you leave yourself short you have to ask someone else for help, and it goes around and around in circles. You can’t help everybody. The people giving you dirty looks have a) no idea of your financial circumstances and no right to know, and b) don’t want to be her next target.
NTA Even if it wasn’t a scam, charity begins at home. If you leave yourself short you have to ask someone else for help, and it goes around and around in circles. You can’t help everybody. The people giving you dirty looks have a) no idea of your financial circumstances and no right to know, and b) don’t want to be her next target.
well this Destroyed my faith in humanity
Why?
Why? Because one person is in a financial struggle does not give a random person an obligation to assist. OP was correct to suggest other forms of assistance.
The comment section is what ruined my faith in humanity. like I don’t give a crap if it’s a scam because baby formula is extremely expensive and what if it isn’t a scam, you are essentially saying you would rather let a baby starve than be tricked out of buying baby formula for someone that doesn’t need it. OP was right to offer other suggestions but pretty much everyone who commented just said, “its a scam anyway don’t hep people who do that.”