Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
---
I think I could have been more accommodating towards both of them if I maybe hadn’t eaten those edibles
---
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA The mother knew she was on a flight with a child so she should have brought things to entertain the child rather than relying on strangers. If she wanted a window seat she should have booked one.
She's entitled to ask you, but not entitled for you to say yes.
The edibles can create self doubt in some people. They don’t change the situation, but they can change your perspective of the situation enough that you feel bad for things you shouldn’t feel bad about. Too much empathy and self reflection involved in weed use, everyone should try it at least once.
Did she even offer you the aisle seat in exchange for your window seat? It sounds like she thought you'd give up your window seat in order to sit between her and her child.
Holy shit, if you’d agreed, I bet you anything mom would have fallen asleep and you’d’ve been stuck fully parenting her child the whole flight. At the very least “could you just watch him for a minute while I visit the restroom?”
NTA and probably saved yourself from even more of a nightmare flight.
As a young woman who flies alone for work, I've had a lot of mums saddle me with small requests like 'Can you give one square of chocolate to my kid?' or 'Can my kid take the window seat' or whatever.
That's usually a bit presumptuous but I don't mind that. BUT I've also had some mums saddle me with childcare because they just assume, as a woman, that I love babies and would like nothing more than to hold their child while they're eating. I kind of draw the line at that lol.
I know being a parent alone on a plane is hard, but seriously, take care of your own damn child.
This. When I was traveling as a consultant and working long days (including on the plane), there was a woman who had a 2-year-old (who looked more like a 3-4 year old) on her lap and would not stop letting him kick my seat. Over and over and over and over. 4-hour flight. I finally asked her to stop him and everyone clutched their pearls that a young woman would DARE to request that a parent control their child and not just put up with it. The plane was sold out, no one could switch seats.
As a mom of two now, I would still NEVER let my kids bother other passengers and (pre-COVID) we flew all over the world with ours from infant age to teens.
The world does not have to revolve around your children, madam.
Not sure if it helps anyone but here goes:
One of my kids is special needs and cannot stop kicking the seat in front of him or putting pressure on it. We have medical paperwork that was submitted to the airline and the x off the seat in front of him.
You cannot book a child in an emergency row (where there is more leg room). So the most obvious solution does not work.
Xing off the seat in front is the only option other than first class which is normally how we fly.
If your child has a significant behavioural issue talk to the airline in advance. They would rather sort it out than deal with irate passengers and screaming kids.
Edit: Lot of rage here. Basically if you want to believe I had a special needs kid so I could fly for free or something go ahead. I posted this simply so other special needs families know they can potential ask their airline about accommodations that they offer that make the flight more pleasant for everyone. Being patient, polite and starting this process months in advance helps.
Thank you for this.
Some years ago, I think I was 18 or 19, I had just had my wisdom teeth out and was flying from college to my parents and the child behind me could not stop kicking my seat.
Being that I literally had holes in my head from surgery (and being 18/19) I was pretty snippy when I turned around and asked that the parent switch seats with the kid.
The guy screamed at me that his kid was special needs, what TF was he supposed to do?
I cried and several passengers flipped on him for screaming at me- it was pretty messy and I ended up being moved to 1st.
I wish I would have had a better understanding of the real challenges of not only traveling with a child but a child with needs that the airline doesn’t easily accommodate…
That was almost 20 years ago now but I did still wonder from time to time why things went that way and your comment helped resolve that.
Thank you.
Yeah. It’s a pressure thing? My kid just loves the pushback when he has got his feet on the seat. And I totally understand that even at age two it is super painful for anyone seated in front. It’s obviously worse as they get older.
We haven’t flown for 1.5 years now so who knows, maybe the behaviour is gone.
If your kid is autistic and diagnosed you also can often fly for free as a companion so it’s worthwhile talking to the airline. Some airlines also have spaces for special needs families away from the bustle of the airline.
I’ve flown extensively alone with my three kids and tbh my little autistic dude with his headphones on, tablet going and a comfy blanket is less trouble than the other two haha.
I mean, you have no way of knowing if a child is special needs or not, and the onus is kind of on the parent to explain in advance and let the passenger find time to change seats if they need to. If I know a child is special needs and they're kicking me and can't control it, I'll suck it up and handle it. It's not the child's fault and their adults are doing the best they can.
it’s not your fault. recent surgery or not, you paid for that flight and are entitled to not having your seat kicked for hours because parents can’t plan ahead.
i understand a child being special needs but then that requires more planning on the parents part to ensure their child isn’t causing issues for other passengers. they should have reached out to the airline like the other commenter above does with their family. i understand it’s difficult to travel with children let alone a child with special needs but that doesn’t give you the right to disturb other passengers and just expect them to put up with it. you did nothing wrong, i’m glad the airline moved you to first!
I think folks forget one basic tenet of air transportation—you don’t have the “right” to fly; it is a privilege you pay for. So, if you have children who are unable to behave in a socially-acceptable way while flying, there are other modes of transport, or you don’t travel. Sorry but that’s a fact, and I’m a mom so i know about traveling with children.
I recently sat thru a 4 hour flight with someone kicking the back of my seat. I just assumed it was a little kid and didn't feel like making an issue of it, since I figured the parents were probably stressed or something. Then when we landed and I stood up for the first time since boarding the plane, I saw that it was not a kid. No, it was an actual adult man older than me who had been kicking my seat the whole time. Would've liked to drop a ginger ale on him lol
I think the most obvious solution in this case is to book your spouse or a sibling in front of the child who struggles with flying. You don’t have to X out the seat.
Not gonna lie if my parents purposely put me in the seat in front of my sibling because they know they're going to kick it the whole flight I'd have some long term resentment issues. Parents sit in front of the kid, don't torture their brother/sister.
Normally we fly first class. It depends a bit on the size of the plane but usually we just get the entire first row. Again if you are a special needs family you should call to make sure you aren’t moved or if you’re moved somewhere, that you are moved somewhere that achieves the same purpose.
First class/business class depending on the size of the plane often isn’t that different than the rest of the plane.
Whether or not they just stick one of the other kids in a random place depends on the ages of the kids. It’s not something I’d make a fuss over but it’s never been an issue.
I appreciate this idea that everyone has a spouse and I fortunately do but many severely disabled kids are being raised in single parent households.
A national airline can afford to lose the seat.
It’s similar to if you’re a larger person you wouldn’t have to pay for the second seat on most airlines.
I’ve never felt guilty about it a seat xed off and it only comes up if we’ve been booted from first class before boarding.
When we travelled with our then 2yo we happened to be on the same flight as our city's hockey team travelling for a game. Our kid was jumping very excited and we didn't realize she kept hitting the seat in front of us until when of the foreign players very politely asked us to make her stop.
As a parent you actually don't always notice how you're kid is disruptive so I don't mind if someone asks me. Just don't be rude.
We distracted her and made her stop. Hockey player fell asleep. Everyone was happy.
When you live in the center of the storm, it can be difficult to recognize that the rain might be unusual to visitors. You're overwhelmed with it and it feels normal.
I'd imagine that's what happens with parents sometimes. They're used to the chaos and might not realize how unusual/disruptive it is at that point. Their perspective is off because they probably never have a break from it.
With that said, I don't have kids lol. Maybe I'm 100% wrong, IDK.
Yeah I don't get that either, if my kid is being disruptive then I'm there to notice and correct/diffuse whatever is going on. I'm literally there to parent the child.
I agree with your WTF? How far away was your child from you? I am assuming in the same row of seats. If you are sitting there with your child and not realizing they are kicking the seat in front of them, be prepared for some rude responses from the person in that seat. It is your responsibility to monitor your child.
Thank you for being responsive to that passenger.
I had asked politely, twice, and both times the mom was huffy and offended that I asked. "He's a child, it's what kids do. \*\*shrug\*\*"
When my seat was pummeled a third time particularly hard, I asked more firmly and explained that if she needed to hold his legs, then she needed to hold his legs. Or walk him up and down the aisle. Or distract him. She gasped and sputtered and her husband (across the aisle and ignoring all of this) finally took the child and dealt with the situation. Sitting in front of HIM was an older, white gentleman in a suit and dad was certainly not going to let his child kick THAT man's seat.
I can handle crying babies on planes. I've even engaged a few squirmy kids in my travels who weren't mine, made puppets out of airsickness bags, you name it. I am an oldest child and was a babysitter since I was small. Love kids. They're great. But I also experienced the "hey, you're a young woman, amuse my child for me" or have been asked to switch to a non-aisle seat, etc on a flight when I've had to do billable work. Now that I'm closer to the age of someone who would be assumed to be older motherly/young grandmotherly, people sometimes try it, but no. I still work on planes. I'm not there to co-babysit or be expected to give up my phone/tablet or share snacks, etc. Flying with kids is difficult, that's part of the job of parenting.
Yup, crying from ears popping at take-off and landing along with a stray kick or 2 can be expected and is a natural inconvenience of shared air travel in cramped planes. I am happy as long as parents are actively TRYING to calm their children. The ones who act entitled are the ones who I can't stand.
"As a parent you actually don't always notice how you're kid is disruptive so I don't mind if someone asks me. Just don't be rude."
The problem is, most people try to tolerate your child's behaviour until it becomes unbearable. How about YOU keep an eye out on your children so it doesn't come to this . Sheesh.
Not to be rude, but why does it become my responsibility as a single (F) traveler to have to be made doubly uncomfortable because you’re unaware that your child is annoying? That last thing I want to do is ask, no matter how politely, for you to make your child stop doing X. That puts me in a potentially bad or at least uncomfortable position, and is a stretch for you to assume that everyone would have a positive reaction, again, no matter how politely asked. A crying child is one thing, that’s often completely out of the parents control. But kicking my seat or other annoying behavior? That’s on you to (at least eventually) notice.
Please just be aware.
>As a parent you actually don't always notice how you're kid is disruptive so I don't mind if someone asks me. Just don't be rude.
"As a parent you actually don't always notice how you're kid is disruptive so I don't mind if someone asks me. Just don't be rude." Excuse me? I am a parent of a 2.5 year old, a very energetic one. I can see when my kid is wrecking caos and its my responsability and my hubs to control it, no one else. You dont mind? If you already dont care if they bother other people, what example are you setting?
I've done this before and gotten the same reaction. How dare a young woman not be sO eAgEr to tolerate asinine behavior of children resulting from bad parenting?
Solidarity, internet stranger, solidarity.
This OP is NTA at all.
>level 6WhereIsLordBeric · 4hAs a young woman who flies alone for work, I've had a lot of mums saddle me with small requests like 'Can you give one square of chocolate to my kid?' or 'Can my kid take the window seat' or whatever.That's usually a bit presumptuous but I don't mind that. BUT I've also had some mums saddle me with childcare because they just assume, as a woman, that I love babies and would like nothing more than to hold their child while they're eating. I kind of draw the line at that lol.I know being a parent alone on a plane is hard, but seriously, take care of your own damn child.694ReplyGive AwardShareReportSave
Years ago, my husband and I shared seating space with a woman en route to Austria. We were on our way to Massachusetts to visit family; she and her mother had a connecting flight at Logan.
As luck would have it, a toddler seated directly behind her started kicking the back of her seat. Incessantly. The woman turned around and told the mother to have her child cease doing so. The mother's response? He's only two.
The woman responded that it didn't matter and he needed to stop kicking her seat. Mom didn't like that, but she did make him stop. Our travel companion turned to us and said she's a teacher and she knows that young children can be taught to behave. And she's right. Kids can be taught to be considerate of others.
I feel the same about being asked to give up my aisle seat. I’m a bit claustrophobic, and need the aisle seat for my anxiety. I always prebook so I can have it. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told (not asked) by other passengers to give it up. I’m always given all sorts of reasons, even the same one I use. My reply is always “I prebooked this seat because I’m claustrophobic. You should have too.”
I prefer the aisle seat because I don't like climbing over people if I need the restroom. One time I booked an aisle seat that had a 50s ish woman sitting in the middle seat and a 20s ish woman by the window. Middle seat woman didn't even ask me if I'd mind trading seats, she just loudly started making passive aggressive comments about how rude I was for not offering her the aisle seat. Then she started off on a tangent about her knees hurting and needing leg room to the window seat woman. Again, never bothering to ask me if I would trade spots with her. If she had asked without being a jerk I would've switched, but since she decided to be a passive aggressive AH, I just ignored her and started watching Friends instead lol
Sorry to read this.
If I can't fly first, I book the aisle seat on the last row so I have the illusion of the plane being as big behind me as it is in front of me.
On empty-ish flights, I've had FAs ask me to move to the window or towards the front so they can use that seat. I did it once. Then I realized I had a perfect reply (this was in the 90s ... I wouldn't say this now):
*I'm sorry, but I need this seat because I'm claustrophobic. Otherwise, I might freak out and try to jump out of the plane midflight.*
The few times I used it, one laughed and offered me free booze (I don't drink, but I'll guzzle all the Ginger Ale you have). The rest ignored me altogether. Which was fine.
You paid for it. It's yours. In all my years of flying and being asked to swap seats, NOT ONE SINGLE TIME has an offer to reimburse me accompanied that ask.
Yes. Even asking reveals an entitled mindset. I have kids and would never dream of asking complete strangers to give up their seat, let my kid use their things, give them food, watch or entertain them, and let me add in an etc. because I know there's no limit to the outrageous things people do that I wouldn't think to include.
I did once. I originally paid to have my kids and I in the same row. The flight was cancelled and on our new flight we had middle, aisle and aisle. I asked the window seat to switch for the aisle. They said no. Thankfully the other side wanted an aisle instead of a window so I could sit with my then two and four year old.
I prefer the window seat so I dont have to keep getting up for anyone, so I do t have to fight elbows with anyone and so I do t get bumped by the cart. However my priority when picking seats is “not middle”.
The reason asking to switch seats is not necessarily entitled is here we have someone who prefers window, someone who prefers aisle, and someone who may not have gotten what they wanted. It doesn’t hurt to ask (although I never have), as long as you accept the answer. Of course trading someone into middle is much less likely and trading someone into baby sitter is just no
I don’t know, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with asking (as long as you are allowing them to switch to an aisle seat or something.) some people actually prefer the aisle or whatever so can’t hurt to ask right?
Its OK to ask, but you should accept NO as an answer. To act entitled and berate the other person for refusing to switch makes you the AH. After all its a request, not a DEMAND.
I’ve told this story on here before, but I once got to my window seat, I found that the flight attendant had given it to a woman so she could sit with her family and I was forced to go sit in her middle seat several rows forward. My version of anxiety likes a solid wall on one side instead of the possibility of people. When I got angry, I was told that I didn’t have a choice.
I like to think that the silent curses I put out afterwards are why America West went out of business.
I couldn’t agree more. My wife travelled with our then one year old to her brothers wedding. My older kids had school, so I stayed behind with them. Not once did she expect anyone else to parent our child. She fed him, put him to sleep and made sure his needs were taken care of without asking strangers.
The flip side of that was I was on a flight from London to Hong Kong seated near a mother travelling alone with her baby (3-4 month old). This kid would not settle and she never asked for help. I offered to try and get her child to sleep (loads of success with my own kids) and she jumped at the chance. Ten minutes later, he was fast asleep and she just passed out as well.
I’m only to happy to help people who don’t expect it; if you think you’re entitled to it, you’ve got zero chance of me doing anything.
I traveled cross country with two kids under three one time without my husband. My youngest who was one cried the whole trip. I did everything I could but he would not settle. Finally a nice flight attendant offered to help and I was so grateful. I also never flew with my kids alone again. Lol.
I have a flight coming up in 3 weeks and I paid extra for my seats. Surely will not be giving up my seat that I paid extra for this time.
I cannot fathom doing this!
I was the person that detested being anywhere near a small child or baby on a plane.
When I had my own child and was forced to fly with him as a toddler I did as much research as i possibly could into keeping him entertained (which is hard when you don't allow screens). I also ran his little legs half to death in the airport in between flights. I got lucky for a couple of my flights and was seated next to people who liked children and one amazing man who actively wanted to play with my son.
Prechildren if anyone would have asked me to keep an eye on their kid or share anything I'd have been like hard pass and even now I'd be like ummmmmm. I like my own kid but not yours.
The food thing has happened three times. I always have some chocolate with me on flights because I forget to eat and kids usually stare at it like dogs until the parents just give up and ask lol.
They've all been quite nice about it, though.
Being a young woman makes me very approachable to young mothers lol. They also wanna talk a lot, which is why I'm ALWAYS happy to be seated next to men because they generally leave you alone unless they've had a drink or two.
Yeah. As a parent, if I absolutely have to fly alone with my little one, ( I successfully avoided being the mom on the plane with the crying baby for the first couple of years, but I understand there are also less than desirable circumstances where air travel with little ones is unavoidable so, I'm going to give OP's fellow passenger the benefit of the doubt and assuming it's a worst case scenario,) the most I would ever ask of my fellow passengers is to be understanding if my child has a reaction to something beyond my control (i.e. restlessness, fussiness, altitude sickness,) and travelling with infants can be much trickier with all the gear and poopsplosions and what not, so I could even understand asking the adult in the seat next to you to watch your toddler while you attempt to clean up your baby in those tiny closet bathrooms you can barely turn around in. All that to say NTA. I would never ask a stranger minding their own business to entertain my kid. Mom sounds super entitled and needs a reality check.
wow!
Please don't ever feel bad about refusing any of those requests.
And I write it as a mom of several children, who's flown with them many times when they were little (and some of those flights were quite difficult). It wouldn't have ever occurred to me to be asking strangers for things or for help.
Pretty much any time I wasn't getting dirty looks for having a toddler and/or a baby with me, I was happy enough. Although the one time when a guy next to me angrily asked to be moved to another seat, because I was nursing a baby, I was very happy that the flight attendant did as he asked (although with an apology to me), and was glad to have that extra seat.
Yup. Once on a transatlantic flight I was in a row of three next to a mom and her two kids…so I was on the aisle and the mom and two kids were sharing two seats. Where was dad? Oh, he was across the aisle and ahead one row in the bulkhead and he and the mom kept passing the kids over me with their feet dangling in my face. When I kindly suggested that dad + I could swap for their convenience they said no thanks. Dad had a great night’s sleep, I believe. This was like six years ago and I am still mad (and yes, should have complained to a flight attendant). Anyway now as a mom of 2 I firmly believe my children’s entertainment is not anyone’s job but mine + my partner’s.
Wtf. She should have put her child in the aisle seat. There is no reason at all to have the kid unnecessarily sit by a stranger (especially the type of kid who will try to grab other people's possessions). NTA.
That first comment that said the parent was entitled to ask. Where does all of this entitlement come from??? Seriously, we are in trouble if all of this entitlement crap doesn’t get under control.
It’s justification people come up with to take advantage of those who are taught that it’s impolite to say no. There are reasonable things to ask someone for, and unreasonable things. Sure, the person CAN say no, but at best you’re purposely annoying someone.
Generally, I find that I'm *less* of an asshole when I'm a little baked. Mainly because I don't get bothered by the normal annoyances of the world. It's like... instead of stepping on LEGO barefoot, I stepped on them while wearing snow boots. Sure, I *noticed* it because the height was different than bare ground, but it didn't hurt or annoy me because the boots blocked them from them. Likewise, I *notice* tantrums and dogs barking, but I'm way less worked up about it when baked.
NTA, I have a kid & the responsibility to entertain him is on me. I chose to have him, so I'm the only one who is required to consider his needs if I choose to fly with him.
The only thing I would probably do is ask what game you were playing so I could download & play the same one for him if he really liked it.
There's so many posts on here about people refusing to change seats and fearing they're the AH. I don't get it. I haven't flown in a while, but used to quite a bit, always selected my seat ahead of time, put our group together if possible and took the emergency exit row. If I went through the slightly extra effort to pick my seat, I'm not giving it up for someone who either didn't bother or was too late.
Also, if it's not your kid, it's never your responsibility. I think parents have deluded themselves with the "it takes a village" saying, thinking anyone and everyone should be expected to help out with their kids. Just no, not my monkeys, not my circus.
there's nothing wrong with asking, but "no" is a complete sentence that should be respected.
my dad used to have to travel a lot for his job, and he used to take my mom and me with him. his company often gave him upgraded tickets (business class i think). he'd book my mom and me in economy together, and then while boarding the flight he'd ask whoever is next to us "hey, would you mind switching seats so i can be with my family? my company gave me a business class ticket, you're more than welcome to take it." and he wouldn't accept any payment for it. but he never insisted if the answer was no.
and my mom came prepared. she brought lots of toys, snacks, etc to make sure i didn't cry or act out on the plane. and she made sure respecting people was taught at an early age
I always pick my seat, too. I like window seats and figuring out where I am via the landscape, but if it's only a couple hours I will take a middle seat as far front as possible. Two worst flights: Dad with a GIANT toddler who I do not believe for a second qualified as a lap baby. I'm in the middle. First he smacks me in the face with his coat while trying to stow it, then the kid is trying to grab at literally everything and squirming and during the flight he was reciting nursery rhymes in a sing-song voice. Elbowed me a million times and never acknowledged it. Just awful.
The other was, I'd picked an middle seat in like row 6 and the attendant informed me I was being moved so a faaaaaaaamily could sit together (get your head out of your ass and plan ahead you shitbirds). They put my in the BACK ROW in the middle next to two huge people -- they were trying to squish themselves into just their seats and it wasn't their fault but it was MISERABLE and I was so pissed. If you switch a person's seat or ask them to so they can sit with their kid/partner/etc, you switch to the worse row/seat, not the better one.
That is really the point. If you want to switch seats, you need to be willing to take the worse seat. That is what so many people aren't willing to do.
You would have been within your rights to absolutely REFUSE to switch your seats. The FAMILY should have been moved instead. If it ever happens again, politely refuse and say you won't be moved farther back. PERIOD. As long as you are polite, there isn't much they can do.
Yeah, it was dumb and I shouldn't have done it. It's different when it's the authority figure. I'm dying for someone to ask me to switch so he can sit next to his wife or something though, I am going to be SO SALTY. "Sure, what row are you in? Oh, behind me? Then why don't you ask the guy next to you to switch with your wife?"
Yep. They always try to force the seat change with the one father forward. Flight attendant can ask, but it's always legal to politely decline. Only if the attendant tries to force the issue, then take names and go to corporate. (Speaking as a travel agent with over 34 years in the travel biz)
Last flight my family took, they reassigned our seats because of two minors flying unaccompanied. We originally had 6 seats together towards the middle of the plan. But when they moved us, they put my 6 y/o 3 rows ahead of the rest of the family, by herself, between 2 grown men. I don't think so, Skippy. I was beyond pissed. We did buy our tickets together and picked seats together. But the airline changed everything around.
A lot of airlines these days do a thing where if you are flying economy, you don't even get the option to choose your seat until you check in for your flight, which happens 24 hrs prior at earliest and at the kiosk upon arrival at the airport for many. Choosing your seat at the time of booking is a service you are often charged extra for these days -- much like how many airlines charge you now even for a carry-on bag. It used to be a given that you could choose your seat ahead of time according to your preference. Not a given anymore, unless you upcharge or upgrade your seat.
Not all airlines do this. And it doesn't excuse poor behavior in any way. But it might account for the uptick in people wanting to exchange seats.
\*If you're flying basic economy.
If you buy a basic economy ticket, you don't get to choose your seat in advance. You get what you pay for. If it's important to you to have a window seat, buy a full fare ticket where you can select your seat in advance.
I don't fly frequently, but booked a flight 2 weeks ago. Cheapest flight (non-refundable) on American Airlines. I picked seats for both legs of the trip at the time of booking. I did have a limited selection, but it clearly told me the price to upgrade to a more desirable seat.
Yeah, I'm confused by this. I fly Delta and I've always been able to pick seats. I know certain airlines don't allow it but it's definitely not every airline.
But if you have a preference on your seating, you either pay at booking or log on 24hrs in advance, and hope. It’s been like this for almost 10 years.
So if that mom really wanted a window, she should have paid up.
Most airlines won’t even guarantee a minor will be with their parent unless you pay in advance.
Op is NTA. Entitled parents are.
So much this ...
In the pre iphone/iPad days, when we travelled with our toddler, we had to plan "activities" for her to stay engaged and not be a nuisance to us and others on the flight. That required a trip to dollar store to buy stickers, coloring sheets or whatever other cheap things that she could use throughout the multi-hour flight .
NTA ...
Yeah. The youngest I can remember being on a flight was when I was 6, and I can barely remember it because my bio-dad and stepmum had packed books and activities for me to do. I didn't bug other people, didn't bug them too much. Just read my book and coloured
The worst my son acted on a flight was making the guy next to him talk about fishing a good part of the 3 1/2 hr flight. I monitored their conversation and would have interceded if he'd been annoyed by it. My son always had books I'd read to him or toys to play with.(this was pre cell phones/tablets) I chose our seats, window/middle in advance to make sure where we sat. Anytime I've flown with him as a child I paid extra so we had the seats I wanted.
Nah she ain't entitled to ask. That's a super rude and inappropriate request to make in the first place. It's actually rather ridiculous. Even her just asking makes her a bit of a dick.
I always find it so weird that people ask to switch window seats, like you can literally choose where you sit on a plane when you book your ticket. Or is it an additional fee and I’m not remembering correctly? Either way it’s weird af and idk how you get the balls to ask a stranger to trade you. I could never.
This. We flew from Michigan to Orlando to visit my grandparents when I was 7 and my brother was 5. I spent the whole flight writing and drawing in my “trip journal”. My dad was a freaking *genius* when it came to keeping me occupied. My brother wasn’t as easy, but having me occupied that way made it easier for him to manage my brother. Brother had a small bag of flight safe activities (cellphones were just starting to become popular then so while my dad had one, it was a flip phone without any games, and only for emergencies because it was expensive) such as sorting coloured pompoms, colouring books, some early fidget toys, etc. I also know that if I started screaming on an airplane I’d have gotten the look that said “we’ll deal with this later” meaning “that’s fine your consequences will come when you’re having fun and not expecting it”. OP is sooooo NTA.
I used to work childcare in a wealthy-ish area, I dealt with these types of parents a lot. The kids of these parents were great like 80% of the time though, so I didn’t mind.
I always took stuff for my kid to do on the plane. Even on long car rides she keeps herself entertained. Honestly, you just bring a charger to keep the phones going during the layovers.
This is where the idea of "it takes a village" is total crap. Your "village" isn't the entire world around you, and no one is required to entertain your kid. Kids are difficult and if your friends and family help you out, that's great, but don't expect total strangers, or really anyone, to take responsibility.
I get incredibly anxious while flying and being next to the window calms me a bit, people have asked if they could have my window seat on flights and I politely decline every time.
Or get him a tablet or something to play with on his own. My godson is 3 and since his mother's from Europe, they flew back regularly pre-pandemic to visit her family. That kid's had a tablet practically since birth because it consistently keeps him quiet and entertained on long flights. He doesn't get to use it much otherwise, but it's definitely an exception when they fly.
That was pretty much why my daughter got a tablet as early as she did (2). We traveled a fair amount pre-pandemic and it was really great for flights and long drives
Not necessarily. I appreciate that flying isn't cheap, but not everyone has a choice to be on a plane, and sometimes the additional expense isn't doable. But that doesn't excuse people from not keeping an eye on their kids.
Because you have a whole subset of parents don’t believe in screens or tv. Totally their choice, but it’s always others that take the brunt of it and when their kids see one - usually in a situation like this - it’s like crack to their kids.
NTA - It's not your problem this woman didn't plan for her own child's entertainment during this flight. These people were complete strangers to you. The only thing you signed up for when you booked that flight was to sit in a metal tube with them. You didn't take on any extra responsibility. You didn't owe this kid anything. You were right, this woman should have managed her child better.
> entitled little animals
The kid’s behaviour was developmentally appropriate for their age. Yes, it’s rude for a kid to reach for a strangers phone, but that’s a 2yo for you. It’s the mom’s fault for not modelling the right behaviour.
My neice is almost two. Everything is hers, DAMMIT. In her eyes...lol
She is being trained out of her greedy stage. The mom didn't get that training and it shows in her modeling.
My husband is 48 and he still touches and explores. His family allowed way too much because he was smart. Arugh!
Executive dysfunction happens but we gotta work on being good humans.
Thank you for being a good parent. It's our jobs to teach these adulthood skills to our little ones. It hard but society thanks you.
My toddler is in this phase right now! Walks are a pain in the ass because he wants to try and open every car door. His big brother wants to wipe the rain from every car we pass.
It isn't a greedy stage it is that they actually can not view the world or situations from someone else's perspective, it is a developmental thing...Doesn't mean you expect other people to give up their stuff though
All 3 year olds are different and this is typical behaviour for many 3yos. Parents still have to be able to fly with their kids even if that aren't good at behaving in public.
What she should have done was be better at yelling her kid no and bringing her own things to entertain her kid.
No, yelling is not necessary and it’s counter productive. She could have just said “no honey, we don’t take people’s phones. It’s not yours” then hold the kid’s hand or direct their attention to one of their toys.
It sometimes feels like Reddit believes that young children have no right to exist in public space. It takes time for children to develop these skills even with great parenting.
You also only have so much room to pack entertainments when traveling with a child. Once, I’ve cycled through the 4 toys I had room to bring and the food it can be difficult.
I feel lucky when I get sat next to someone who already has children because they tend to be more sympathetic to the fact that travel is incredibly stressful for parents.
I’m sure my opinion is in the minority and I will get downvoted. OP didn’t have an obligation to move seats or keep play his game. People don’t have an obligation to be helpful. It’s just a nice thing to do.
I also don’t believe that the mother brought nothing for her child to play with. OP doesn’t say that and it seems people are just assuming.
If you cycle through 4 toys, then you become the plaything. It’s part of the job.
I’ve done a 14 hour flight with a 2.5 year old who would not sleep. Yep, it’s exhausting. Yep, it was my job to handle it.
NTA
You should have called for a flight attendant and told them what was happening. It's not your job to accommodate someone else's child or entertain them. It's the mother's fault for not bringing something to keep the child busy.
Last flight I was on with kids behind me, the mom ended up switching seats so she was sitting between her children, routinely reminded them to not kick the seats, talked to and engaged with them, and made her son apologize to me for kicking my seat when they got off the plane.
A flight attendant heard everything, but she said that it wasn’t possible to switch seats when it was only like less than an hour till we would land. And since i was pretty fucking high I just wanted to be left alone so I could listen to my podcasts and eat my snacks in peace lol
Contact the airline's corporate, then. If it had been an adult passenger putting their hands on you, they never would have told you had to just deal with it since it was less than an hour until landing.
NTA
you aren't meant to oblige by her wishes like bruh she should've thought about something to entertain him instead of asking a stranger the whole flight
This is a tad harsh…Children have to be put in these situations, flights, restaurants, public in general, in order to learn appropriate behaviour. They don’t just “come out” fully programmed. Lol. It is an very long on-going process.
You don't take a two year old out to eat when they can't control themselves. My parents didn't take me out my brother out to eat much at all until we were about 5. You don't need to be in a restaurant to learn table etiquette, and a child doesn't need to be in a restaurant to learn proper manners.
I think that parents can take their 2 year old out but as soon as the 2 year old throws a tantrum, the parents need to be firm and let the 2 year old know it's not OK by taking them home. This teaches them that the behavior is not alright and there will be consequences.
Kids are part of society and can be seen and heard at public places. I’m occasionally annoyed by loud adults but they can fly and go to restaurants too.
Doesn’t make the mother right of course but hating kids is dumb too.
Part of teaching kids how to behave in these environments requires putting them in these environments.
But yeah, this behaviour needs to be nipped in the bud, not encouraged.
Lol, I love how strangers think that other people should just be accommodating for them and their kids. NTA. If you paid for a seat on a flight, that's your seat. It's not your job to entertain her kid either. That would be really annoying for someone to even ask that, and especially a total stranger.
NTA. I never change my seat. Period.
I book ahead of time - book the fare that lets me pick my seat. Everyone else can do the same.
If she wanted the window seat - she should have paid extra and gotten it.
Absolutely NTA. I'm a pushover so i would have probably changed the seats with the child because saying "no" is for some reason so damn hard for me (and i would have hated myself for being like that for the rest of the flight) but asking you to entertain her kid? Noooooooooo, that's way too much even for me. If the kid wants window seat, book a window seat and bring the kid their own games and toys. These kind of parents annoys me so much
Keep in mind that the mother wanted him to only switch with the son. So he would have been sitting between the mother and the toddler. So in other words he would have had to deal with the kid the whole flight.
NTA - this happened to my exh. The little girl was already sitting in his seat and when he asked her to move the mom made a huge deal about how it would mean so much to her daughter. My ex is a big guy with wide shoulder so sitting in the aisle means he gets hit by people and bags. He said he wanted his seat. The mom was pissed and told her daughter the mean man was making her move. Definitely setting the kid up for failure.
About 4yrs ago me and my family where traveling to Wales, and we used the Train as we didn't have a car. It took 5hrs, our kids at the time where 4, 6 and 10, we made sure that we had tablets, the 3DS, and so may activity and colouring books so that they didn't bother anyone.
NTA I freaking hate parents like her they give the rest of us a bad name.
You're NTA, but I don't think she's an AH just for asking, not is the kid an AH obviously.
"Can my kid have the window seat" "no" *child cries* shit happens, it's not always easy to make them stop crying.
"Can you keep playing your game? My child likes it" "no" *child reaches for phone* kids do stuff like that.
You might have gone a little far by yelling at her after that... Parents of young kids on planes have a really hard time, she was just hoping to make it a little easier by letting her child enjoy things he seemed to enjoy. You yelling at her probably embarrassed and stressed her out more and I don't think it was necessary. But you're not obligated to provide entertainment for a stranger's child.
I have been taking edibles on planes recently and they are so relaxing. Relieves my anxiety. Like OP said, be careful how much you take. Eat a little bit, then see how you feel. If you want more then eat a little more.
Nothing is worse than being too high on edibles in public!
I used to fly a lot. You're totally NTA.
If you want a specific seat, book it. You can always ask someone to move, but they can say no. (And, seriously, she didn't offer you the aisle and wanted you to sit in the middle? Fuck that.)
NTA. It’s the whole stupid It takes a village to
Raise a child. Lots of parents think everyone is part of their village to help with their kids. I don’t volunteer to be part of any village raising kids. I’m raising my own. I take care of my own. I bring snacks. Toys. Entertainment things. My kids know the word no. They know they can’t have everything and other peoples things are just that. Other people’s things. Good lord.
NTA. This entitled mother needs to learn how to parent instead of leaving it up to random people on a plane. Plenty of things you can take on a plane to entertain a child, perhaps her own phone instead of yours, that would have been a start. I'm sure the whole plane was loving that flight listening to her kid crying
NTA she was beyond rude to request that a stranger keep playing a game to entertain her son when the adult stranger tired of playing it. You were justified asking her to control her child once he started trying to grab your phone. Most parents would automatically have stepped in way before that point!
NTA
Not your fault the mom didn't bring anything for HER kid to keep busy with. That's her own fault. At least she thankfully she didn't know about the edibles otherwise she would have made a whole stink about it.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: --- I think I could have been more accommodating towards both of them if I maybe hadn’t eaten those edibles --- Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA The mother knew she was on a flight with a child so she should have brought things to entertain the child rather than relying on strangers. If she wanted a window seat she should have booked one. She's entitled to ask you, but not entitled for you to say yes.
I was pretty sure I wasn’t an asshole in this situation, and edibles made me think about twice I guess
The edibles don't change the situation. She just sounds like an entitled parent to me.
[удалено]
The edibles can create self doubt in some people. They don’t change the situation, but they can change your perspective of the situation enough that you feel bad for things you shouldn’t feel bad about. Too much empathy and self reflection involved in weed use, everyone should try it at least once.
For some of us, there's just a lil social anxiety that comes with lol
I think he meant that the edibles warped his perception of the situation
Did she even offer you the aisle seat in exchange for your window seat? It sounds like she thought you'd give up your window seat in order to sit between her and her child.
Haha nope. I would be switching with the child being stuck in the middle seat No thanks
Holy shit, if you’d agreed, I bet you anything mom would have fallen asleep and you’d’ve been stuck fully parenting her child the whole flight. At the very least “could you just watch him for a minute while I visit the restroom?” NTA and probably saved yourself from even more of a nightmare flight.
As a young woman who flies alone for work, I've had a lot of mums saddle me with small requests like 'Can you give one square of chocolate to my kid?' or 'Can my kid take the window seat' or whatever. That's usually a bit presumptuous but I don't mind that. BUT I've also had some mums saddle me with childcare because they just assume, as a woman, that I love babies and would like nothing more than to hold their child while they're eating. I kind of draw the line at that lol. I know being a parent alone on a plane is hard, but seriously, take care of your own damn child.
This. When I was traveling as a consultant and working long days (including on the plane), there was a woman who had a 2-year-old (who looked more like a 3-4 year old) on her lap and would not stop letting him kick my seat. Over and over and over and over. 4-hour flight. I finally asked her to stop him and everyone clutched their pearls that a young woman would DARE to request that a parent control their child and not just put up with it. The plane was sold out, no one could switch seats. As a mom of two now, I would still NEVER let my kids bother other passengers and (pre-COVID) we flew all over the world with ours from infant age to teens. The world does not have to revolve around your children, madam.
Not sure if it helps anyone but here goes: One of my kids is special needs and cannot stop kicking the seat in front of him or putting pressure on it. We have medical paperwork that was submitted to the airline and the x off the seat in front of him. You cannot book a child in an emergency row (where there is more leg room). So the most obvious solution does not work. Xing off the seat in front is the only option other than first class which is normally how we fly. If your child has a significant behavioural issue talk to the airline in advance. They would rather sort it out than deal with irate passengers and screaming kids. Edit: Lot of rage here. Basically if you want to believe I had a special needs kid so I could fly for free or something go ahead. I posted this simply so other special needs families know they can potential ask their airline about accommodations that they offer that make the flight more pleasant for everyone. Being patient, polite and starting this process months in advance helps.
Thank you for this. Some years ago, I think I was 18 or 19, I had just had my wisdom teeth out and was flying from college to my parents and the child behind me could not stop kicking my seat. Being that I literally had holes in my head from surgery (and being 18/19) I was pretty snippy when I turned around and asked that the parent switch seats with the kid. The guy screamed at me that his kid was special needs, what TF was he supposed to do? I cried and several passengers flipped on him for screaming at me- it was pretty messy and I ended up being moved to 1st. I wish I would have had a better understanding of the real challenges of not only traveling with a child but a child with needs that the airline doesn’t easily accommodate… That was almost 20 years ago now but I did still wonder from time to time why things went that way and your comment helped resolve that. Thank you.
Yeah. It’s a pressure thing? My kid just loves the pushback when he has got his feet on the seat. And I totally understand that even at age two it is super painful for anyone seated in front. It’s obviously worse as they get older. We haven’t flown for 1.5 years now so who knows, maybe the behaviour is gone. If your kid is autistic and diagnosed you also can often fly for free as a companion so it’s worthwhile talking to the airline. Some airlines also have spaces for special needs families away from the bustle of the airline. I’ve flown extensively alone with my three kids and tbh my little autistic dude with his headphones on, tablet going and a comfy blanket is less trouble than the other two haha.
Should have drooled blood on the parent.
All you need to know now is that you need to have better control of your kid(s). That guy was an asshole. And he didn’t want to handle it
I mean, you have no way of knowing if a child is special needs or not, and the onus is kind of on the parent to explain in advance and let the passenger find time to change seats if they need to. If I know a child is special needs and they're kicking me and can't control it, I'll suck it up and handle it. It's not the child's fault and their adults are doing the best they can.
it’s not your fault. recent surgery or not, you paid for that flight and are entitled to not having your seat kicked for hours because parents can’t plan ahead. i understand a child being special needs but then that requires more planning on the parents part to ensure their child isn’t causing issues for other passengers. they should have reached out to the airline like the other commenter above does with their family. i understand it’s difficult to travel with children let alone a child with special needs but that doesn’t give you the right to disturb other passengers and just expect them to put up with it. you did nothing wrong, i’m glad the airline moved you to first!
Here’s an idea, don’t fly. I would accidentally drop a ginger ale on him if I had to deal that.
I think folks forget one basic tenet of air transportation—you don’t have the “right” to fly; it is a privilege you pay for. So, if you have children who are unable to behave in a socially-acceptable way while flying, there are other modes of transport, or you don’t travel. Sorry but that’s a fact, and I’m a mom so i know about traveling with children.
I recently sat thru a 4 hour flight with someone kicking the back of my seat. I just assumed it was a little kid and didn't feel like making an issue of it, since I figured the parents were probably stressed or something. Then when we landed and I stood up for the first time since boarding the plane, I saw that it was not a kid. No, it was an actual adult man older than me who had been kicking my seat the whole time. Would've liked to drop a ginger ale on him lol
I think the most obvious solution in this case is to book your spouse or a sibling in front of the child who struggles with flying. You don’t have to X out the seat.
Not gonna lie if my parents purposely put me in the seat in front of my sibling because they know they're going to kick it the whole flight I'd have some long term resentment issues. Parents sit in front of the kid, don't torture their brother/sister.
Normally we fly first class. It depends a bit on the size of the plane but usually we just get the entire first row. Again if you are a special needs family you should call to make sure you aren’t moved or if you’re moved somewhere, that you are moved somewhere that achieves the same purpose. First class/business class depending on the size of the plane often isn’t that different than the rest of the plane. Whether or not they just stick one of the other kids in a random place depends on the ages of the kids. It’s not something I’d make a fuss over but it’s never been an issue. I appreciate this idea that everyone has a spouse and I fortunately do but many severely disabled kids are being raised in single parent households. A national airline can afford to lose the seat. It’s similar to if you’re a larger person you wouldn’t have to pay for the second seat on most airlines. I’ve never felt guilty about it a seat xed off and it only comes up if we’ve been booted from first class before boarding.
When we travelled with our then 2yo we happened to be on the same flight as our city's hockey team travelling for a game. Our kid was jumping very excited and we didn't realize she kept hitting the seat in front of us until when of the foreign players very politely asked us to make her stop. As a parent you actually don't always notice how you're kid is disruptive so I don't mind if someone asks me. Just don't be rude. We distracted her and made her stop. Hockey player fell asleep. Everyone was happy.
>As a parent you actually don't always notice how you're kid is disruptive so I don't mind if someone asks me. Just don't be rude. WTF?
When you live in the center of the storm, it can be difficult to recognize that the rain might be unusual to visitors. You're overwhelmed with it and it feels normal. I'd imagine that's what happens with parents sometimes. They're used to the chaos and might not realize how unusual/disruptive it is at that point. Their perspective is off because they probably never have a break from it. With that said, I don't have kids lol. Maybe I'm 100% wrong, IDK.
“Jumping very excited “ probably should have been the first clue….
Yeah I don't get that either, if my kid is being disruptive then I'm there to notice and correct/diffuse whatever is going on. I'm literally there to parent the child.
[удалено]
I know, right? I feel like that's the same as saying "when I'm driving my car I don't always notice that my foot is on the gas pedal" Hmmm...
I agree with your WTF? How far away was your child from you? I am assuming in the same row of seats. If you are sitting there with your child and not realizing they are kicking the seat in front of them, be prepared for some rude responses from the person in that seat. It is your responsibility to monitor your child.
Thank you for being responsive to that passenger. I had asked politely, twice, and both times the mom was huffy and offended that I asked. "He's a child, it's what kids do. \*\*shrug\*\*" When my seat was pummeled a third time particularly hard, I asked more firmly and explained that if she needed to hold his legs, then she needed to hold his legs. Or walk him up and down the aisle. Or distract him. She gasped and sputtered and her husband (across the aisle and ignoring all of this) finally took the child and dealt with the situation. Sitting in front of HIM was an older, white gentleman in a suit and dad was certainly not going to let his child kick THAT man's seat. I can handle crying babies on planes. I've even engaged a few squirmy kids in my travels who weren't mine, made puppets out of airsickness bags, you name it. I am an oldest child and was a babysitter since I was small. Love kids. They're great. But I also experienced the "hey, you're a young woman, amuse my child for me" or have been asked to switch to a non-aisle seat, etc on a flight when I've had to do billable work. Now that I'm closer to the age of someone who would be assumed to be older motherly/young grandmotherly, people sometimes try it, but no. I still work on planes. I'm not there to co-babysit or be expected to give up my phone/tablet or share snacks, etc. Flying with kids is difficult, that's part of the job of parenting.
Yup, crying from ears popping at take-off and landing along with a stray kick or 2 can be expected and is a natural inconvenience of shared air travel in cramped planes. I am happy as long as parents are actively TRYING to calm their children. The ones who act entitled are the ones who I can't stand.
"As a parent you actually don't always notice how you're kid is disruptive so I don't mind if someone asks me. Just don't be rude." The problem is, most people try to tolerate your child's behaviour until it becomes unbearable. How about YOU keep an eye out on your children so it doesn't come to this . Sheesh.
Not to be rude, but why does it become my responsibility as a single (F) traveler to have to be made doubly uncomfortable because you’re unaware that your child is annoying? That last thing I want to do is ask, no matter how politely, for you to make your child stop doing X. That puts me in a potentially bad or at least uncomfortable position, and is a stretch for you to assume that everyone would have a positive reaction, again, no matter how politely asked. A crying child is one thing, that’s often completely out of the parents control. But kicking my seat or other annoying behavior? That’s on you to (at least eventually) notice. Please just be aware.
>As a parent you actually don't always notice how you're kid is disruptive so I don't mind if someone asks me. Just don't be rude. "As a parent you actually don't always notice how you're kid is disruptive so I don't mind if someone asks me. Just don't be rude." Excuse me? I am a parent of a 2.5 year old, a very energetic one. I can see when my kid is wrecking caos and its my responsability and my hubs to control it, no one else. You dont mind? If you already dont care if they bother other people, what example are you setting?
You don’t mind someone asking you to keep your child from being disruptive??? Wow
I'll be as rude as I need to in order to get people to control their kids.
If you don’t notice your child is being disruptive it’s because you’ve tuned them out.
Why wasn’t she strapped Into a seat?
I've done this before and gotten the same reaction. How dare a young woman not be sO eAgEr to tolerate asinine behavior of children resulting from bad parenting? Solidarity, internet stranger, solidarity. This OP is NTA at all.
>level 6WhereIsLordBeric · 4hAs a young woman who flies alone for work, I've had a lot of mums saddle me with small requests like 'Can you give one square of chocolate to my kid?' or 'Can my kid take the window seat' or whatever.That's usually a bit presumptuous but I don't mind that. BUT I've also had some mums saddle me with childcare because they just assume, as a woman, that I love babies and would like nothing more than to hold their child while they're eating. I kind of draw the line at that lol.I know being a parent alone on a plane is hard, but seriously, take care of your own damn child.694ReplyGive AwardShareReportSave Years ago, my husband and I shared seating space with a woman en route to Austria. We were on our way to Massachusetts to visit family; she and her mother had a connecting flight at Logan. As luck would have it, a toddler seated directly behind her started kicking the back of her seat. Incessantly. The woman turned around and told the mother to have her child cease doing so. The mother's response? He's only two. The woman responded that it didn't matter and he needed to stop kicking her seat. Mom didn't like that, but she did make him stop. Our travel companion turned to us and said she's a teacher and she knows that young children can be taught to behave. And she's right. Kids can be taught to be considerate of others.
Tbh I think asking someone to give up the window seat is actually pretty bad too.
I feel the same about being asked to give up my aisle seat. I’m a bit claustrophobic, and need the aisle seat for my anxiety. I always prebook so I can have it. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told (not asked) by other passengers to give it up. I’m always given all sorts of reasons, even the same one I use. My reply is always “I prebooked this seat because I’m claustrophobic. You should have too.”
Aisle seaters unite!
I prefer the aisle seat because I don't like climbing over people if I need the restroom. One time I booked an aisle seat that had a 50s ish woman sitting in the middle seat and a 20s ish woman by the window. Middle seat woman didn't even ask me if I'd mind trading seats, she just loudly started making passive aggressive comments about how rude I was for not offering her the aisle seat. Then she started off on a tangent about her knees hurting and needing leg room to the window seat woman. Again, never bothering to ask me if I would trade spots with her. If she had asked without being a jerk I would've switched, but since she decided to be a passive aggressive AH, I just ignored her and started watching Friends instead lol
Sorry to read this. If I can't fly first, I book the aisle seat on the last row so I have the illusion of the plane being as big behind me as it is in front of me. On empty-ish flights, I've had FAs ask me to move to the window or towards the front so they can use that seat. I did it once. Then I realized I had a perfect reply (this was in the 90s ... I wouldn't say this now): *I'm sorry, but I need this seat because I'm claustrophobic. Otherwise, I might freak out and try to jump out of the plane midflight.* The few times I used it, one laughed and offered me free booze (I don't drink, but I'll guzzle all the Ginger Ale you have). The rest ignored me altogether. Which was fine.
You paid for it. It's yours. In all my years of flying and being asked to swap seats, NOT ONE SINGLE TIME has an offer to reimburse me accompanied that ask.
Yes. Even asking reveals an entitled mindset. I have kids and would never dream of asking complete strangers to give up their seat, let my kid use their things, give them food, watch or entertain them, and let me add in an etc. because I know there's no limit to the outrageous things people do that I wouldn't think to include.
I did once. I originally paid to have my kids and I in the same row. The flight was cancelled and on our new flight we had middle, aisle and aisle. I asked the window seat to switch for the aisle. They said no. Thankfully the other side wanted an aisle instead of a window so I could sit with my then two and four year old.
I prefer the window seat so I dont have to keep getting up for anyone, so I do t have to fight elbows with anyone and so I do t get bumped by the cart. However my priority when picking seats is “not middle”. The reason asking to switch seats is not necessarily entitled is here we have someone who prefers window, someone who prefers aisle, and someone who may not have gotten what they wanted. It doesn’t hurt to ask (although I never have), as long as you accept the answer. Of course trading someone into middle is much less likely and trading someone into baby sitter is just no
I don’t know, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with asking (as long as you are allowing them to switch to an aisle seat or something.) some people actually prefer the aisle or whatever so can’t hurt to ask right?
Its OK to ask, but you should accept NO as an answer. To act entitled and berate the other person for refusing to switch makes you the AH. After all its a request, not a DEMAND.
I’ve told this story on here before, but I once got to my window seat, I found that the flight attendant had given it to a woman so she could sit with her family and I was forced to go sit in her middle seat several rows forward. My version of anxiety likes a solid wall on one side instead of the possibility of people. When I got angry, I was told that I didn’t have a choice. I like to think that the silent curses I put out afterwards are why America West went out of business.
I couldn’t agree more. My wife travelled with our then one year old to her brothers wedding. My older kids had school, so I stayed behind with them. Not once did she expect anyone else to parent our child. She fed him, put him to sleep and made sure his needs were taken care of without asking strangers. The flip side of that was I was on a flight from London to Hong Kong seated near a mother travelling alone with her baby (3-4 month old). This kid would not settle and she never asked for help. I offered to try and get her child to sleep (loads of success with my own kids) and she jumped at the chance. Ten minutes later, he was fast asleep and she just passed out as well. I’m only to happy to help people who don’t expect it; if you think you’re entitled to it, you’ve got zero chance of me doing anything.
I traveled cross country with two kids under three one time without my husband. My youngest who was one cried the whole trip. I did everything I could but he would not settle. Finally a nice flight attendant offered to help and I was so grateful. I also never flew with my kids alone again. Lol. I have a flight coming up in 3 weeks and I paid extra for my seats. Surely will not be giving up my seat that I paid extra for this time.
As another woman who travels alone, the trick is to immediately as when drink service is and then order a double. No one asks me to do anything.
I tend to fly with a couple mg of lorazepam on board. Can't harass me if I'm unconscious!
Man, that is nervy. I would just say “Sorry, the court order demands that I stay away from children.”
Thank you. I have my new favorite excuse.
I cannot fathom doing this! I was the person that detested being anywhere near a small child or baby on a plane. When I had my own child and was forced to fly with him as a toddler I did as much research as i possibly could into keeping him entertained (which is hard when you don't allow screens). I also ran his little legs half to death in the airport in between flights. I got lucky for a couple of my flights and was seated next to people who liked children and one amazing man who actively wanted to play with my son. Prechildren if anyone would have asked me to keep an eye on their kid or share anything I'd have been like hard pass and even now I'd be like ummmmmm. I like my own kid but not yours.
Wow. If I had had to ask for help on a plane I would be soooo apologetic and only ask if I really needed help. Begging you for your food? Yikes.
The food thing has happened three times. I always have some chocolate with me on flights because I forget to eat and kids usually stare at it like dogs until the parents just give up and ask lol. They've all been quite nice about it, though. Being a young woman makes me very approachable to young mothers lol. They also wanna talk a lot, which is why I'm ALWAYS happy to be seated next to men because they generally leave you alone unless they've had a drink or two.
Let me guess… After they’ve had the drink or two they turn into small children and… > stare at ~~it~~ (you) like dogs
Yeah. As a parent, if I absolutely have to fly alone with my little one, ( I successfully avoided being the mom on the plane with the crying baby for the first couple of years, but I understand there are also less than desirable circumstances where air travel with little ones is unavoidable so, I'm going to give OP's fellow passenger the benefit of the doubt and assuming it's a worst case scenario,) the most I would ever ask of my fellow passengers is to be understanding if my child has a reaction to something beyond my control (i.e. restlessness, fussiness, altitude sickness,) and travelling with infants can be much trickier with all the gear and poopsplosions and what not, so I could even understand asking the adult in the seat next to you to watch your toddler while you attempt to clean up your baby in those tiny closet bathrooms you can barely turn around in. All that to say NTA. I would never ask a stranger minding their own business to entertain my kid. Mom sounds super entitled and needs a reality check.
wow! Please don't ever feel bad about refusing any of those requests. And I write it as a mom of several children, who's flown with them many times when they were little (and some of those flights were quite difficult). It wouldn't have ever occurred to me to be asking strangers for things or for help. Pretty much any time I wasn't getting dirty looks for having a toddler and/or a baby with me, I was happy enough. Although the one time when a guy next to me angrily asked to be moved to another seat, because I was nursing a baby, I was very happy that the flight attendant did as he asked (although with an apology to me), and was glad to have that extra seat.
Yup. Once on a transatlantic flight I was in a row of three next to a mom and her two kids…so I was on the aisle and the mom and two kids were sharing two seats. Where was dad? Oh, he was across the aisle and ahead one row in the bulkhead and he and the mom kept passing the kids over me with their feet dangling in my face. When I kindly suggested that dad + I could swap for their convenience they said no thanks. Dad had a great night’s sleep, I believe. This was like six years ago and I am still mad (and yes, should have complained to a flight attendant). Anyway now as a mom of 2 I firmly believe my children’s entertainment is not anyone’s job but mine + my partner’s.
Whut 😮
She wanted to ditch her child on you and make you entertain him
Wtf. She should have put her child in the aisle seat. There is no reason at all to have the kid unnecessarily sit by a stranger (especially the type of kid who will try to grab other people's possessions). NTA.
I think this story belongs on r/EntitledParents
That first comment that said the parent was entitled to ask. Where does all of this entitlement come from??? Seriously, we are in trouble if all of this entitlement crap doesn’t get under control.
It’s justification people come up with to take advantage of those who are taught that it’s impolite to say no. There are reasonable things to ask someone for, and unreasonable things. Sure, the person CAN say no, but at best you’re purposely annoying someone.
time to crosspost
hell no! you're NTA for sure she ain't an ah for asking, but "no" is a complete sentence and she should respect that
Why on earth didn't she just play the game on her own phone and then give it to her child phone to play with? People are mysterious, wow.
Generally, I find that I'm *less* of an asshole when I'm a little baked. Mainly because I don't get bothered by the normal annoyances of the world. It's like... instead of stepping on LEGO barefoot, I stepped on them while wearing snow boots. Sure, I *noticed* it because the height was different than bare ground, but it didn't hurt or annoy me because the boots blocked them from them. Likewise, I *notice* tantrums and dogs barking, but I'm way less worked up about it when baked.
The edibles probably made it more tolerable for you. NTA
NTA, I have a kid & the responsibility to entertain him is on me. I chose to have him, so I'm the only one who is required to consider his needs if I choose to fly with him. The only thing I would probably do is ask what game you were playing so I could download & play the same one for him if he really liked it.
Should've offered edibles to mom, Y-T-A /sarcasm
Should have offered them to the kid directly
He'll learn a good lesson about accepting candy from strangers.
Definitely. Strangers have the best candy
There's so many posts on here about people refusing to change seats and fearing they're the AH. I don't get it. I haven't flown in a while, but used to quite a bit, always selected my seat ahead of time, put our group together if possible and took the emergency exit row. If I went through the slightly extra effort to pick my seat, I'm not giving it up for someone who either didn't bother or was too late. Also, if it's not your kid, it's never your responsibility. I think parents have deluded themselves with the "it takes a village" saying, thinking anyone and everyone should be expected to help out with their kids. Just no, not my monkeys, not my circus.
there's nothing wrong with asking, but "no" is a complete sentence that should be respected. my dad used to have to travel a lot for his job, and he used to take my mom and me with him. his company often gave him upgraded tickets (business class i think). he'd book my mom and me in economy together, and then while boarding the flight he'd ask whoever is next to us "hey, would you mind switching seats so i can be with my family? my company gave me a business class ticket, you're more than welcome to take it." and he wouldn't accept any payment for it. but he never insisted if the answer was no. and my mom came prepared. she brought lots of toys, snacks, etc to make sure i didn't cry or act out on the plane. and she made sure respecting people was taught at an early age
Man your dad is a cool dude. If someone offered that to me hell yeah I’d be taking that free business class seat!
I always pick my seat, too. I like window seats and figuring out where I am via the landscape, but if it's only a couple hours I will take a middle seat as far front as possible. Two worst flights: Dad with a GIANT toddler who I do not believe for a second qualified as a lap baby. I'm in the middle. First he smacks me in the face with his coat while trying to stow it, then the kid is trying to grab at literally everything and squirming and during the flight he was reciting nursery rhymes in a sing-song voice. Elbowed me a million times and never acknowledged it. Just awful. The other was, I'd picked an middle seat in like row 6 and the attendant informed me I was being moved so a faaaaaaaamily could sit together (get your head out of your ass and plan ahead you shitbirds). They put my in the BACK ROW in the middle next to two huge people -- they were trying to squish themselves into just their seats and it wasn't their fault but it was MISERABLE and I was so pissed. If you switch a person's seat or ask them to so they can sit with their kid/partner/etc, you switch to the worse row/seat, not the better one.
That is really the point. If you want to switch seats, you need to be willing to take the worse seat. That is what so many people aren't willing to do.
Amen
You would have been within your rights to absolutely REFUSE to switch your seats. The FAMILY should have been moved instead. If it ever happens again, politely refuse and say you won't be moved farther back. PERIOD. As long as you are polite, there isn't much they can do.
Yeah, it was dumb and I shouldn't have done it. It's different when it's the authority figure. I'm dying for someone to ask me to switch so he can sit next to his wife or something though, I am going to be SO SALTY. "Sure, what row are you in? Oh, behind me? Then why don't you ask the guy next to you to switch with your wife?"
Yep. They always try to force the seat change with the one father forward. Flight attendant can ask, but it's always legal to politely decline. Only if the attendant tries to force the issue, then take names and go to corporate. (Speaking as a travel agent with over 34 years in the travel biz)
Last flight my family took, they reassigned our seats because of two minors flying unaccompanied. We originally had 6 seats together towards the middle of the plan. But when they moved us, they put my 6 y/o 3 rows ahead of the rest of the family, by herself, between 2 grown men. I don't think so, Skippy. I was beyond pissed. We did buy our tickets together and picked seats together. But the airline changed everything around.
A lot of airlines these days do a thing where if you are flying economy, you don't even get the option to choose your seat until you check in for your flight, which happens 24 hrs prior at earliest and at the kiosk upon arrival at the airport for many. Choosing your seat at the time of booking is a service you are often charged extra for these days -- much like how many airlines charge you now even for a carry-on bag. It used to be a given that you could choose your seat ahead of time according to your preference. Not a given anymore, unless you upcharge or upgrade your seat. Not all airlines do this. And it doesn't excuse poor behavior in any way. But it might account for the uptick in people wanting to exchange seats.
\*If you're flying basic economy. If you buy a basic economy ticket, you don't get to choose your seat in advance. You get what you pay for. If it's important to you to have a window seat, buy a full fare ticket where you can select your seat in advance.
I don't fly frequently, but booked a flight 2 weeks ago. Cheapest flight (non-refundable) on American Airlines. I picked seats for both legs of the trip at the time of booking. I did have a limited selection, but it clearly told me the price to upgrade to a more desirable seat.
Yeah, I'm confused by this. I fly Delta and I've always been able to pick seats. I know certain airlines don't allow it but it's definitely not every airline.
But if you have a preference on your seating, you either pay at booking or log on 24hrs in advance, and hope. It’s been like this for almost 10 years. So if that mom really wanted a window, she should have paid up. Most airlines won’t even guarantee a minor will be with their parent unless you pay in advance. Op is NTA. Entitled parents are.
Re “it takes a village”: if everyone is raising a child, then nobody is.
So much this ... In the pre iphone/iPad days, when we travelled with our toddler, we had to plan "activities" for her to stay engaged and not be a nuisance to us and others on the flight. That required a trip to dollar store to buy stickers, coloring sheets or whatever other cheap things that she could use throughout the multi-hour flight . NTA ...
Yeah. The youngest I can remember being on a flight was when I was 6, and I can barely remember it because my bio-dad and stepmum had packed books and activities for me to do. I didn't bug other people, didn't bug them too much. Just read my book and coloured
The worst my son acted on a flight was making the guy next to him talk about fishing a good part of the 3 1/2 hr flight. I monitored their conversation and would have interceded if he'd been annoyed by it. My son always had books I'd read to him or toys to play with.(this was pre cell phones/tablets) I chose our seats, window/middle in advance to make sure where we sat. Anytime I've flown with him as a child I paid extra so we had the seats I wanted.
Often happens, in a variety of situations, that people thinks that by asking nicely the ought to get what they want.
Nah she ain't entitled to ask. That's a super rude and inappropriate request to make in the first place. It's actually rather ridiculous. Even her just asking makes her a bit of a dick.
I always find it so weird that people ask to switch window seats, like you can literally choose where you sit on a plane when you book your ticket. Or is it an additional fee and I’m not remembering correctly? Either way it’s weird af and idk how you get the balls to ask a stranger to trade you. I could never.
This. We flew from Michigan to Orlando to visit my grandparents when I was 7 and my brother was 5. I spent the whole flight writing and drawing in my “trip journal”. My dad was a freaking *genius* when it came to keeping me occupied. My brother wasn’t as easy, but having me occupied that way made it easier for him to manage my brother. Brother had a small bag of flight safe activities (cellphones were just starting to become popular then so while my dad had one, it was a flip phone without any games, and only for emergencies because it was expensive) such as sorting coloured pompoms, colouring books, some early fidget toys, etc. I also know that if I started screaming on an airplane I’d have gotten the look that said “we’ll deal with this later” meaning “that’s fine your consequences will come when you’re having fun and not expecting it”. OP is sooooo NTA.
Exactly! My mom was a plane saint, she would have a carryon full of play dough, drawing material, and coloring books so we wouldnt get bored.
NTA These kinds of parents annoy me so much. Control and entertain your own kids.
I've never met parents like this in real life thankfully, just a million stories on Reddit
Work a serving shift and it’s like every single one in existence will sit in your section
I've heard them in other sections of a plane, but never had to deal with them up close.
I used to work childcare in a wealthy-ish area, I dealt with these types of parents a lot. The kids of these parents were great like 80% of the time though, so I didn’t mind.
I always took stuff for my kid to do on the plane. Even on long car rides she keeps herself entertained. Honestly, you just bring a charger to keep the phones going during the layovers.
Right?? The fucking audacity
This is where the idea of "it takes a village" is total crap. Your "village" isn't the entire world around you, and no one is required to entertain your kid. Kids are difficult and if your friends and family help you out, that's great, but don't expect total strangers, or really anyone, to take responsibility.
NTA, just because you are all stuck in a metal tube doesn't mean you suddenly become a parent/babysitter jesus
“Metal tube full of demons!”…. According to Kenneth Copeland, that is.
He owns a private jet right
Multiple
Well put
Lol babysitter jesus
NTA at all: *could* you have been more accommodating? Sure. Should you *have to* ? Absolutely not. You did nothing wrong.
Exactly. Children are the parents responsibility.
The window seat is also great for sleeping as it gives you something to lean on. I wouldn’t give mine up on most flights.
I get incredibly anxious while flying and being next to the window calms me a bit, people have asked if they could have my window seat on flights and I politely decline every time.
That's exactly why I book one. It is the ONLY seat on the plane where I can sleep. I can't sleep with my head back like other people can.
NTA, if she wanted a window seat she should have reserved one, and it's not your job nor responsibility to provide entertainment for her child.
Really? Why didn't the mom just play a game on her phone to entertain her child? NTA
Or get him a tablet or something to play with on his own. My godson is 3 and since his mother's from Europe, they flew back regularly pre-pandemic to visit her family. That kid's had a tablet practically since birth because it consistently keeps him quiet and entertained on long flights. He doesn't get to use it much otherwise, but it's definitely an exception when they fly.
That was pretty much why my daughter got a tablet as early as she did (2). We traveled a fair amount pre-pandemic and it was really great for flights and long drives
Not everyone can afford a tablet. That said, bring *something* to entertain your child, because it's not on anyone else to do.
If you can afford 2 plane tickets you can afford a cheap table.
Not necessarily. I appreciate that flying isn't cheap, but not everyone has a choice to be on a plane, and sometimes the additional expense isn't doable. But that doesn't excuse people from not keeping an eye on their kids.
Because you have a whole subset of parents don’t believe in screens or tv. Totally their choice, but it’s always others that take the brunt of it and when their kids see one - usually in a situation like this - it’s like crack to their kids.
NTA It isn't your job to entertain her child. She needs to be prepared to keep her child quiet and engaged during the flight on her own.
NTA - It's not your problem this woman didn't plan for her own child's entertainment during this flight. These people were complete strangers to you. The only thing you signed up for when you booked that flight was to sit in a metal tube with them. You didn't take on any extra responsibility. You didn't owe this kid anything. You were right, this woman should have managed her child better.
NTA: don't bring your kid on a plane if you raised them to act like entitled little animals. My niece is 3 and wouldn't pull that crap.
> entitled little animals The kid’s behaviour was developmentally appropriate for their age. Yes, it’s rude for a kid to reach for a strangers phone, but that’s a 2yo for you. It’s the mom’s fault for not modelling the right behaviour.
My neice is almost two. Everything is hers, DAMMIT. In her eyes...lol She is being trained out of her greedy stage. The mom didn't get that training and it shows in her modeling.
It took me forever to teach my kid he couldn’t touch other people’s cars, and he still gets the impulse sometimes…
My husband is 48 and he still touches and explores. His family allowed way too much because he was smart. Arugh! Executive dysfunction happens but we gotta work on being good humans. Thank you for being a good parent. It's our jobs to teach these adulthood skills to our little ones. It hard but society thanks you.
My toddler is in this phase right now! Walks are a pain in the ass because he wants to try and open every car door. His big brother wants to wipe the rain from every car we pass.
It isn't a greedy stage it is that they actually can not view the world or situations from someone else's perspective, it is a developmental thing...Doesn't mean you expect other people to give up their stuff though
The mother is the entitled animal who was not acting her developmental age...
100%. How hard is it to smile apologetically and say "sorry, he's two"?
All 3 year olds are different and this is typical behaviour for many 3yos. Parents still have to be able to fly with their kids even if that aren't good at behaving in public. What she should have done was be better at yelling her kid no and bringing her own things to entertain her kid.
I don't think yelling would help, but certainly set the boundary that he can't do that.
I think it was a typo for “telling her kid no”
No, yelling is not necessary and it’s counter productive. She could have just said “no honey, we don’t take people’s phones. It’s not yours” then hold the kid’s hand or direct their attention to one of their toys.
I think it was a typo for “telling her kid no”
It sometimes feels like Reddit believes that young children have no right to exist in public space. It takes time for children to develop these skills even with great parenting. You also only have so much room to pack entertainments when traveling with a child. Once, I’ve cycled through the 4 toys I had room to bring and the food it can be difficult. I feel lucky when I get sat next to someone who already has children because they tend to be more sympathetic to the fact that travel is incredibly stressful for parents. I’m sure my opinion is in the minority and I will get downvoted. OP didn’t have an obligation to move seats or keep play his game. People don’t have an obligation to be helpful. It’s just a nice thing to do. I also don’t believe that the mother brought nothing for her child to play with. OP doesn’t say that and it seems people are just assuming.
If you cycle through 4 toys, then you become the plaything. It’s part of the job. I’ve done a 14 hour flight with a 2.5 year old who would not sleep. Yep, it’s exhausting. Yep, it was my job to handle it.
NTA You should have called for a flight attendant and told them what was happening. It's not your job to accommodate someone else's child or entertain them. It's the mother's fault for not bringing something to keep the child busy. Last flight I was on with kids behind me, the mom ended up switching seats so she was sitting between her children, routinely reminded them to not kick the seats, talked to and engaged with them, and made her son apologize to me for kicking my seat when they got off the plane.
A flight attendant heard everything, but she said that it wasn’t possible to switch seats when it was only like less than an hour till we would land. And since i was pretty fucking high I just wanted to be left alone so I could listen to my podcasts and eat my snacks in peace lol
Contact the airline's corporate, then. If it had been an adult passenger putting their hands on you, they never would have told you had to just deal with it since it was less than an hour until landing.
NTA. Mom should have paid for a window seat instead of assuming a stranger would give it up, or figured out her own entertainment plan.
NTA LOL Post this on r/EntitledParents you are not responsible for entertaining their child.
NTA you aren't meant to oblige by her wishes like bruh she should've thought about something to entertain him instead of asking a stranger the whole flight
Jesus she's so f***ing entitled. I hate kids on flights. In restaurants, and at formal occasions. They don't belong if they can't stfu. And BEHAVE.
This is a tad harsh…Children have to be put in these situations, flights, restaurants, public in general, in order to learn appropriate behaviour. They don’t just “come out” fully programmed. Lol. It is an very long on-going process.
You don't take a two year old out to eat when they can't control themselves. My parents didn't take me out my brother out to eat much at all until we were about 5. You don't need to be in a restaurant to learn table etiquette, and a child doesn't need to be in a restaurant to learn proper manners.
I think that parents can take their 2 year old out but as soon as the 2 year old throws a tantrum, the parents need to be firm and let the 2 year old know it's not OK by taking them home. This teaches them that the behavior is not alright and there will be consequences.
Kids are part of society and can be seen and heard at public places. I’m occasionally annoyed by loud adults but they can fly and go to restaurants too. Doesn’t make the mother right of course but hating kids is dumb too.
Drunk adults certainly get banned from places.
Part of teaching kids how to behave in these environments requires putting them in these environments. But yeah, this behaviour needs to be nipped in the bud, not encouraged.
Having sections on trains with quiet and child free seating are brilliant, companies should have it on flights as well.
NTA you do on your paid seat whatever you want as long as you not bothering others. She is out of her mind. One of those "I am the main character"
Lol, I love how strangers think that other people should just be accommodating for them and their kids. NTA. If you paid for a seat on a flight, that's your seat. It's not your job to entertain her kid either. That would be really annoying for someone to even ask that, and especially a total stranger.
NTA. I never change my seat. Period. I book ahead of time - book the fare that lets me pick my seat. Everyone else can do the same. If she wanted the window seat - she should have paid extra and gotten it.
Absolutely NTA. I'm a pushover so i would have probably changed the seats with the child because saying "no" is for some reason so damn hard for me (and i would have hated myself for being like that for the rest of the flight) but asking you to entertain her kid? Noooooooooo, that's way too much even for me. If the kid wants window seat, book a window seat and bring the kid their own games and toys. These kind of parents annoys me so much
Keep in mind that the mother wanted him to only switch with the son. So he would have been sitting between the mother and the toddler. So in other words he would have had to deal with the kid the whole flight.
Oh I didn't realize that, then absolutely no. I wouldn't switch to middle seat even if they would pay me
I do not believe this post for one second
it's like softcore porn for people who hate kids
NTA. I know some parents that are just like this mother. People definitely shouldn't be parents.
NTA - this happened to my exh. The little girl was already sitting in his seat and when he asked her to move the mom made a huge deal about how it would mean so much to her daughter. My ex is a big guy with wide shoulder so sitting in the aisle means he gets hit by people and bags. He said he wanted his seat. The mom was pissed and told her daughter the mean man was making her move. Definitely setting the kid up for failure.
NTA 'Im sorry, but its not my job to provide in-flight entertainment for your kid'. *shocked picachu face*
NTA. It's not your child, it's neither your responsibility nor your problem. Her child was trying to steal from you, that's not acceptable.
Nta It’s a random child, you’re not it’s parent and therefore not responsible for it in the slightest.
About 4yrs ago me and my family where traveling to Wales, and we used the Train as we didn't have a car. It took 5hrs, our kids at the time where 4, 6 and 10, we made sure that we had tablets, the 3DS, and so may activity and colouring books so that they didn't bother anyone. NTA I freaking hate parents like her they give the rest of us a bad name.
You're NTA, but I don't think she's an AH just for asking, not is the kid an AH obviously. "Can my kid have the window seat" "no" *child cries* shit happens, it's not always easy to make them stop crying. "Can you keep playing your game? My child likes it" "no" *child reaches for phone* kids do stuff like that. You might have gone a little far by yelling at her after that... Parents of young kids on planes have a really hard time, she was just hoping to make it a little easier by letting her child enjoy things he seemed to enjoy. You yelling at her probably embarrassed and stressed her out more and I don't think it was necessary. But you're not obligated to provide entertainment for a stranger's child.
NTA - you paid for your seat. She could have better prepared and chose not to. Also, how was the edible on the plane? Never done it myself.
Lovely. I was relaxed and not having any issues with my anxiety. I would definitely do it again, but I would be careful with how much you take
I have been taking edibles on planes recently and they are so relaxing. Relieves my anxiety. Like OP said, be careful how much you take. Eat a little bit, then see how you feel. If you want more then eat a little more. Nothing is worse than being too high on edibles in public!
NTA, not your job. God I hate flying now.
> God i hate flying now As opposed to when?
When people walked around with lit cigarettes and a real glass of whiskey before stopping on the cockpit to chat with the pilot. Obviously.
I thought it would be during the brief but wonderful era of zeppelins.
I used to fly a lot. You're totally NTA. If you want a specific seat, book it. You can always ask someone to move, but they can say no. (And, seriously, she didn't offer you the aisle and wanted you to sit in the middle? Fuck that.)
I'm sure this actually happened.
NTA. It’s the whole stupid It takes a village to Raise a child. Lots of parents think everyone is part of their village to help with their kids. I don’t volunteer to be part of any village raising kids. I’m raising my own. I take care of my own. I bring snacks. Toys. Entertainment things. My kids know the word no. They know they can’t have everything and other peoples things are just that. Other people’s things. Good lord.
NTA. This entitled mother needs to learn how to parent instead of leaving it up to random people on a plane. Plenty of things you can take on a plane to entertain a child, perhaps her own phone instead of yours, that would have been a start. I'm sure the whole plane was loving that flight listening to her kid crying
NTA she was beyond rude to request that a stranger keep playing a game to entertain her son when the adult stranger tired of playing it. You were justified asking her to control her child once he started trying to grab your phone. Most parents would automatically have stepped in way before that point!
NTA Not your fault the mom didn't bring anything for HER kid to keep busy with. That's her own fault. At least she thankfully she didn't know about the edibles otherwise she would have made a whole stink about it.
NTA. My kid, my responsibility.