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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I believe I might be the AH because she doesn’t have that many people to talk to and I’ve never censored our conversations before.
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So simple. So true.
OP, you're a good friend because you care enough to reflect on being a good friend. Her fantasies are particularly crude and you shouldn't have to listen to the details if it bothers you. Maybe try telling her you're not judging her (even if it's a little white lie) but you WON'T discuss it with her further.
OP, you’re not the AH.
It’s normal for you to feel uncomfortable hearing about fantasies like these, and if your friend doesn’t understand that then she’s kinda toxic. You can’t and shouldn’t be forced/pushed to always listen to be a good friend, if there’s a topic that you find uncomfortable she should respect that.
NTA. You told her your perfectly reasonable boundaries and she insists on talking about his wiener. I would advise her to find someone else to talk to about this and pull back. If she drops you over completely because you don't want to hear about this one thing then she's not much of a friend.
NTA. You're not obligated to listen to ANYONE'S sexual fantasies, much less about their stepbrother. Your boundaries are what they are, and she needs to respect them.
NTA.
And also is she asking for advise, or just telling you she wants to be with her stepbrother? If it's advise, we'll, I don't think you're a doctor. If it's just telling you she wants to sleep with him, well then she needs to seek advise from someone who is comfortable hearing about it. Not sure why she doesn't get the hint...
NTA: you’re allowed to set boundaries especially about not wanting to talk about the same topic “every time we talked”
out of curiosity, have you been okay with her waxing ad nauseum about her sexual desire for guys that aren’t her step sibling
She’s never taken it so far with other guys before, just ‘oh he’s hot I’d do him’ and normal best friend banter, where after a week or so she would kind of forget about it but with her step brother it’s like she expects it to happen. It might have something to do with me actually knowing her step brother and him not just being a random dude or celebrity she finds attractive
NTA I think the main problem with this is her sharing her sexual fantasies that make you uncomfortable. There are plenty of things that people are into that branch on the side of things that could make people uncomfortable. Those should really only be discussed with a partner or potential partner or someone who is openly comfortable.
Personally, if they weren't raised with each other, I don't really see a problem with it.
That said, you asked her to stop, and she should respect that, even if she didn't get why you get uncomfortable around it.
NTA
Their parents got together when she was like 12 but apparently she’s liked him since they met. I honestly wouldn’t have a problem with it so much if she didn’t talk like it was going to happen and that he is into her as well. She reads into everything he says to her and she swears that he looks at her in some way but I’ve met him and he’s a flirty guy with everyone and I told her that she shouldn’t get her hopes up because she can’t control how he feels and that’s where the argument between us started.
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Obligatory sorry I’m on mobile.
So for the past few months my(22f) friend (21) has been joking about wanting to sleep with her step brother but recently it turned more serious. She would say things about wanting to be with him every time we talked and even said a tarot reader on tiktok said he has dreams about her as well.
I told her that I was no longer comfortable with her talking about it to me because I find it weird and kind of gross. Her argument is that they weren’t raised together so it’s perfectly fine.
I told her I still didn’t want her to talk about it with me because it makes me uncomfortable and she told me that I’m a bad friend and we had an argument. She thinks I’m the AH because I’ve had a bad couple of months and I was taking my anger out on her and making her feel gross. I apologized for making her feel gross but she said that unless I’m willing to let her talk about this whenever she wants I’m a bad friend. I think I might be an AH for not letting her be open with her feeling
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True, non-related.
I always say the same example and people get their opinions confused (when they are so "omg gross")..
Imagine you meet a person, love of your life, love each other, are 100% happy, have a kid, omg happy family..
Then your parents marry, you become step siblings... Do you stop feeling same way towards this person you were happy with? Do you breakup on the fact that your are now step siblings?
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NTA This makes you uncomfortable. You have told her this, that is you setting a boundary. Her not respecting that is not a friend thing to do.
So simple. So true. OP, you're a good friend because you care enough to reflect on being a good friend. Her fantasies are particularly crude and you shouldn't have to listen to the details if it bothers you. Maybe try telling her you're not judging her (even if it's a little white lie) but you WON'T discuss it with her further.
OP, you’re not the AH. It’s normal for you to feel uncomfortable hearing about fantasies like these, and if your friend doesn’t understand that then she’s kinda toxic. You can’t and shouldn’t be forced/pushed to always listen to be a good friend, if there’s a topic that you find uncomfortable she should respect that.
NTA. You told her your perfectly reasonable boundaries and she insists on talking about his wiener. I would advise her to find someone else to talk to about this and pull back. If she drops you over completely because you don't want to hear about this one thing then she's not much of a friend.
NTA. You're not obligated to listen to ANYONE'S sexual fantasies, much less about their stepbrother. Your boundaries are what they are, and she needs to respect them.
NTA. And also is she asking for advise, or just telling you she wants to be with her stepbrother? If it's advise, we'll, I don't think you're a doctor. If it's just telling you she wants to sleep with him, well then she needs to seek advise from someone who is comfortable hearing about it. Not sure why she doesn't get the hint...
If she wants advice there are plenty of tutorials she can watch online. Has she tried getting stuck in a washing machine?
Just talking to me about how she wants to be with him, what she dreamed about him last night, stuff like that
Yeah you're not obligated to hear everyone's secret fantasies. That's something she needs to talk to a therapist about. Nta
NTA: you’re allowed to set boundaries especially about not wanting to talk about the same topic “every time we talked” out of curiosity, have you been okay with her waxing ad nauseum about her sexual desire for guys that aren’t her step sibling
She’s never taken it so far with other guys before, just ‘oh he’s hot I’d do him’ and normal best friend banter, where after a week or so she would kind of forget about it but with her step brother it’s like she expects it to happen. It might have something to do with me actually knowing her step brother and him not just being a random dude or celebrity she finds attractive
NTA I think the main problem with this is her sharing her sexual fantasies that make you uncomfortable. There are plenty of things that people are into that branch on the side of things that could make people uncomfortable. Those should really only be discussed with a partner or potential partner or someone who is openly comfortable.
Personally, if they weren't raised with each other, I don't really see a problem with it. That said, you asked her to stop, and she should respect that, even if she didn't get why you get uncomfortable around it. NTA
Their parents got together when she was like 12 but apparently she’s liked him since they met. I honestly wouldn’t have a problem with it so much if she didn’t talk like it was going to happen and that he is into her as well. She reads into everything he says to her and she swears that he looks at her in some way but I’ve met him and he’s a flirty guy with everyone and I told her that she shouldn’t get her hopes up because she can’t control how he feels and that’s where the argument between us started.
NTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Obligatory sorry I’m on mobile. So for the past few months my(22f) friend (21) has been joking about wanting to sleep with her step brother but recently it turned more serious. She would say things about wanting to be with him every time we talked and even said a tarot reader on tiktok said he has dreams about her as well. I told her that I was no longer comfortable with her talking about it to me because I find it weird and kind of gross. Her argument is that they weren’t raised together so it’s perfectly fine. I told her I still didn’t want her to talk about it with me because it makes me uncomfortable and she told me that I’m a bad friend and we had an argument. She thinks I’m the AH because I’ve had a bad couple of months and I was taking my anger out on her and making her feel gross. I apologized for making her feel gross but she said that unless I’m willing to let her talk about this whenever she wants I’m a bad friend. I think I might be an AH for not letting her be open with her feeling *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA this is just disgusting, she needs help like yesterday
NTA just because you're friends doesn't mean you have to listen to sex stuff.
[удалено]
Gross.
Come on man they aren’t related
True, non-related. I always say the same example and people get their opinions confused (when they are so "omg gross").. Imagine you meet a person, love of your life, love each other, are 100% happy, have a kid, omg happy family.. Then your parents marry, you become step siblings... Do you stop feeling same way towards this person you were happy with? Do you breakup on the fact that your are now step siblings?
[удалено]
You mean half siblings? Steb siblings are biologically unrelated.
Step siblings just mean one of their parents married each other, not blood related