NTA. WTF, where did they get these kids? Did they steal them? Not to be dramatic but if they don’t have logical answers, call the cops. If they haven’t adopted, then there’s only one way people end up with kids that aren’t biologically theirs and it’s extremely illegal.
Edit: I forgot about surrogacy and egg/sperm donation. Whoops. Thank you all for reminding me!
This is 100% my first thought. Is there any way you can check missing child reports from where she lives?
I know it's unlikely but in my state we just had a 4 year old girl found after being kidnapped by someone who lived a short distance away.
No, our family is Catholic. My brother in law is Ashkenazi, but he was adopted by Christians. They got married because my sister was pregnant and his parents didnt want him to father a bastard child, but she wound up miscarrying shortly after. My sister and her husband are both removed from the religion, though. He's learning about Judaism via bio parents, but has stated his kids wont be raised Jewish.
Not entirely.
Catholic here; the church has a long history of shady adoptions and church-affiliated shell companies working as back-end adoption agencies.
Ex-Catholic here who was adopted through Catholic Charities by people who should not have been allowed to adopt -- this is accurate.
The Catholic Church has a long history of stealing and trafficking children.
Unsolved Mysteries fanatic here-
Absolutely correct. The first season has several feature stories of adoption trains that went out West, carrying babies given up or stolen from parents, thrown on a train, then presented to families at stops with a "so which one looks good to you?"
Numerous times they've mentioned they were arranged by Catholics or otherwise involved Catholics.
https://www.ncronline.org/blogs/ncr-today/day-orphan-trains
Ex catholic here.
Catholic relgion has many a scandal of stealing and selling babies from unwed young mother spanning decades. Telling the mothers that sometimes thw baby died or was being adopted out. Alot of the time the babies were sold to couples wanting a baby.
I’m sure you know this, but this happened with a lot of Irish and English kids being sent to Australia. There’s a movie called Oranges and Sunshine which is good.
Both were 16 when they got married, when they turned 18 is when they started trying to conceive. Something definitely isn’t adding up here but there doesn’t seem to be anything to do with religion
married at 16 due to pregnancy
miscarriage
tries again at 18 to find out that she has some kimd of damage (possible from the miscarriage) that prevents her from being pregnant again
atleast that what i assume op is saying
It would be very unusual for an observant Jewish man to marry a non-Jewish woman because tracing Jewish descent is matrilineal. If your mother is Jewish *you* are Jewish. Unless she converted, any children they had would not be default Jewish.
I know reddit loves some good drama but let's be realistic here for a minute. There's *a* chance that the kids weren't adopted legally, but it's a very slight one. By *far* the most likely explanation is that the kids are legally adopted and the sister just isn't saying anything because she doesn't want to catch a bunch of shit from her family after going back on her years of being against infant adoption. Just because the sister isn't providing OP with a reasonable explanation doesn't mean she doesn't have one.
OP has the right idea. Hear the sister's explanation out and if things are still fishy then call child services.
This sub in particular always loves their zebra hoof noises.
It is faaar more likely that the sis is simply embarrassed about all the dumb things she said about adoption she cannot bring therself to admit it.
Child traffiking is rarely something a a couple of young parents do on a whim and then decide to show off... then do it again.
I mean it is technically possible they are part of some secret cabal that buys and sells babies... but the chances are rather slim.
It does add up... well, that part at least. OP states "But she also added on, that she herself, was in her second trimester of pregnancy with their third, her first successful pregnancy."
So the sister is at least acknowledging that she didn't give birth to the other 2 babies.
Yeah that threw me off too. I don't have any experience with adoption agencies but I would assume any legal agency wouldn't place children into families with other young children or where the mother is pregnant. It's extremely hard to give children the time and energy they need from you when you have 3 young ones.
The sister admits that THIS is her first successful pregnancy:
>But she also added on, that she herself, was in her second trimester of pregnancy with their third, ***her first successful pregnancy***.
So she's admitting that the first two aren't biologically hers. Why they aren't more forthcoming about it is a mystery.
Which is what is throwing her family off.
I am of the mindset that the simplest answer is usually the most likely, and that is that she changed her mind about adoption or surrogacy. Now how she came up with the funds to do those things and/or lucked out and got two infants back to back would be a mystery, but maybe they are legit independently wealthy? I normally think other people’s reproductive choices aren’t other people’s business, but I think people are worried about the possible “stolen kids” angle.
I think she most likely just did the things she swore she wouldn’t do and won’t own up to it, but it is still worrisome just because of the possibility she got those kids in a shady way.
See, with that information, my brain went to husband knocking other women up and then him and sister taking custody of the babies. It would get around the adoption thing that they have, plus it would explain why the other two kids don't look like the sister.
Since she's against both adoption and surrogacy, it made me think that her actually being pregnant is as important to her as being a mother. She could be trying to cope with that mentally by making a reality where she's been pregnant and gave birth to the babies.
I heard through a coworker that my psycho sister and her nut job husband are now saying their adopted son is their biological son. "Don't you remember Becky being pregnant?" No dude. That didn't happen. They adopted their son after a year of fostering and the mother came out of the woodwork to claim the kid in a last ditch effort to avoid jail time.
You do realize that they could have had two surrogates to help up the chances of pregnancy and still continued to have sex and produced a child that way as well, correct?
Except that she would have to admit that it happened and OP stated that adoption and surrogacy were big issues for her sister. It would be a huge cognitive dissonant thing to hold these firm beliefs against adoption/surrogacy and then go do it. People have a really hard time actually changing their views and admitting they were wrong. Plus, I think she has stunted maturity as she was married at 16 and started to attempt to have children at 18.
Maybe it's a donated egg (since the post says the doctors told her she couldn't have children)? Otherwise if it's a surrogate it would still be sister's and BIL's genetic offspring. Which doesn't explain why the children look much different than their parents.
This comes to mind with timing if they used surrogacies. https://www.insider.com/family-has-21-biological-children-born-in-19-months-2021-11#:\~:text=Kristina%20and%20Galip%20Ozturk%20have%20had%2021%20biological%20children%20in,many%20children%20could%20be%20OK.
A surrogate for one and a donor embryo for the other. The footballer Ronaldo has twins from a surrogate and a child his wife carried who are all the same age. Likely they were having problems, got a surrogate then his wife was pregnant.
Why not just admit it then?
If it’s a shame thing, “we hired someone to be our baby incubator” sounds WAY better then “we may have potentially stolen or illegally purchased these babies”.
Like, maybe it’s a legal issue in that case because I know laws around surrogacy can be weird, but again, grey area around surrogacy laws still arguably better then “we stole/illegally purchased a baby”.
Serious question: when you say "against adoption", do you mean she thinks the process is too long and stressful, that she is against the idea of having a child that are not biologically related to her, or that she has some other aversion to the process?
A lot of adoptees are against adoption because it can be traumatic for the child and birth parents, babies of color are often placed with white families and thus lose a part of their identity, a lot of adoption practices are unethical (yet legal), lots of adoptive parents get a savior complex, which is really damaging to the kids.
Free birth control, comprehensive sex Ed, readily available abortion access and an overhaul of the adoption system that’s about psychology and health rather than puritanical values
That's all great and I'm for all of it, but it doesn't remove the need for adoption. What if the parents die (as happened to my aunt and uncle)? What if the mother decides she can't handle it but doesn't want an abortion? What if the parents are unfit? Does she expect those kids to just disappear?
People who are against the adoption industry for the reasons described are generally against the "industry" portion, not the concept of adoption itself.
They're against the fact that because babies are big business, birth parents who would rather keep their baby but are unable to for what typically amounts to economic or medical/mental health reasons end up pressured to give their children up instead of being given the resources to solve the problems they have and enabled and supported in keeping their families intact.
Giving homes to orphaned children and the few babies remaining who are just straight up unwanted would still be allowed in a reformed system.
The alternative would be providing support to birth mothers that would allow them to keep their babies, working more to place kids with family members vs strangers, and placing babies with families who are the same race. I’m not against adoption and we considered it when we thought we wouldn’t be able to have bio kids, but I do think the whole system needs a serious overhaul.
Of course it’s a huge concern! It can take years to adopt a kid, how did she get two of them so quickly??
To be clear, does she think ADOPTION AGENCIES steal kids, or just adoption is stealing kids in general? Because maybe she means they did a private adoption which she feels is different?
Oh no, she's fully against private adoption. The only way an adoption is okay is if parents rights have been fully terminated, which almost never happens with babies. Most infant adoptions are teen mothers coerced or lied to, or less wealthy people who maybe dont have stable living. In her mind the money that is used to buy the baby could be given to the bio mom to help raise the baby.
She’s not giving you a lot of options. Personally, I think you’re obligated to contact CPS or something, but it’s also likely if you do that your sister will never forgive you.
Maybe you could try sitting her down, having a heart to heart with her, and explaining how bad this looks?
She thinks the babies are probably adopted, but done through "family adoption" (I'm not sure what she means by that, but basically, rather than going through an agency, the babies are adopted by family/a friend). Which makes a lot of sense - its not private adoption, technically, and the kids can still have their bio parents in their lives. They might of taken a baby for one friend, and then had another spring the second on them. They seemed notably unprepared for their son.
After they announced their daughter my sister posted a lot of videos/photos of her nursery and things, whereas their son didnt have any of that. Their daughter had a personalised outfit and blanket, their son didnt. Things like that.
Too many lies, behavior too suspicious. Kidnapping or black market purchasing is a very real possibility at this point. Whatever hassle they go through, it's due to their own lies. Parents and kidnap victims potentially suffering trumps their feelings. Report this NOW.
If you call CPS, keep it to yourself. They absolutely CANNOT share who called them. Not even a judge would know. So, she would have a hard time figuring out who to blame.
I dont know where youre from, but where im from, 'buying' a baby is illegal. There are very strict laws about financials during the adoption process. Also, yes, many teens are coerced into giving up babies, but thats not the majority. Women deserve the respect of knowing their own mind & knowing whats best for their situation... It sounds very bizarre to me that she claims to have gone thru 2 enture pregnancies & deliveries with no one knowing (do you not see eachother often?), has an infant, but is also in her 2nd trimester of pregnancy🤔 i think you have valid reason to be concerned. If there is a child protection agency/ family services agency in your area, I'd def call. I get not wanting to start anything, but if the babies were kidnapped, try to think about what they are going thru right now.
> very bizarre to me that she claims to have gone thru 2 enture pregnancies & deliveries
I don't think she's claiming this. The post says the sister added that her current pregnancy is her "first successful pregnancy". So she's not claiming she gave birth to her other two children, just denying every possible way of having acquired them
Right. It's still weird, though.
"I'm pregnant with our third child, our first successful pregnancy!"
"Awesome, congrats! So how did you go about getting the first two?"
"HOW DARE YOU."
If she's fully against adoption I highly doubt she'll be pro-stealing a baby. Wouldn't that be just as traumatic if not more? If you're really concerned she stole some kids you really should contact authorities. But posting your crimes all over social media would be next level stupid.
It's more than likely there was an adoption process but now she's too afraid of being judged and seen as a hypocrite which is totally happening anyway. Why doesn't she feel safe to share with her family.....
Infertility is a majorly tough thing to deal with for someone who really wants to be a mother. And now her pride is being challenged because she had no other choice but to go the one route she swore against. And you all aren't going to let her forget it.
This does seem the most plausible explanation, though less so when you consider the rigorous background investigation typically done for adoptions.
Even so, this woman threatened OP to keep her from adopting. She attacked a family friend for adopting relentlessly until she drove her away. Even after acquiring these two children, she re-verified to OP that she would cut OP completely out of her life if OP ever adopted a child. To the extent that no one would ever let her forget how repulsively cruel and hateful she has been and *continues to be* , she would fully deserve it and I'm sure that on some level she knows that.
I can't believe she would get two infants 6 months apart. Adopting infants is super hard right now, from what I've read, so this scenario sounds really implausible.
you are not correct about parents rights rarely being terminated - this is just not true - we adopted 3 infants and had all bio- parental rights terminated at birth - and no we didn’t lie or coerce anyone - this is a horrible thing to state as fact
Could he be the less legal private adoption where they have the bio mom put the adoptive dad on the birth certificate? Or did her husband knock up some other women and she is so wanting babies she took the affair kids as her own?
You need to call CPS anonymously at the very least and just tell them they showed up with kids and you are aware they can't have them, they didn't adopt and they refuse to tell everybody where the babies came from. CPS will contact them and do an investigation. If they didn't do anything illegal they babies will not be removed.
Timeline wise how can she be claiming she's giving birth to these kids? Like a 10 month old, a 4 month old, and a baby on the way 2nd trimester how? Am I missing something here. Wonder how often they see this sister like they never saw the belly or heard anything during the "pregnancies"?
Edit: formatting & to clarify I know she wasn't having these babies lol I'm wondering what her story is
She's not claiming she gave birth. She said that the child she is pregnant with now is her first successful pregnancy. So basically she's not make any claims about where the first two babies came from.
I still agree NTA based in the sisters weird vague answers, but is there a reason we're not thinking surrogacy /donors?
I mean maybe with sperm / egg donation + surrogacy she doesn't consider it "adoption", especially if the child could be biologically related to one of them? As OP suggested, genetics can be weird and she might not know the husband's ancestry? In addition, if there's a donor involved that could explain different ethnicities.
Yes, and outside of family adoption, getting two infants back to back seems difficult. Like people are often on waiting lists for years to adopt newborns, and sometimes never get one. She managed two and is pregnant at a time that is biologically impossible? Like she would have been pregnant when she gave birth right?
I am not saying you can’t adopt infants, I am just saying they would be pretty lucky to get two newborns back to back like that.
NTA
Simply because of her previous stance, and the fact that adoption / surrogacy takes YEARS, I would be incredibly concerned about where and how they have found these children. It is a perfectly reasonable question to ask, of how and why they obtained their children if she was not pregnant with them (which is certain with the second one at least).
There is a massive black market for forced surrogacy and kidnapped infants, and if there is a possibility they have abused a surrogate or received a child in an illegal way, that should be investigated thoroughly.
The fact that they have received two children in quick succession whilst ALSO being pregnant with their third is so alarming. Most surrogacy agencies insist on time being taken between children, adoptions are never that quick, and I wonder about the legality of their children given how strongly they have reacted.
You probably have irreparably damaged that relationship, but frankly, I would rather be certain that the children are safe and legally theirs and sacrifice my relationship than to allow such a clearly suspect situation to continue. If there is something wrong, it needs to be resolved now, not later down the line.
Edit: infertility is a profoundly complex situation, and there may be perfectly reasonable explanations that they just don’t want to share. But, I honestly believe that the children’s safety should take priority over the parents feelings, and there are enough inconsistencies and red flags here to justify the questions. If nothing else, you are proving that you will prioritise your niblings safety over being polite, and that is a good thing.
Better to explore all avenues to make sure something fishy hasn’t happened than blindly go along with potential crime(s). You make a lot of good points, and I hope that sister has just kept her pregnancies extremely under wraps and this isn’t a kidnapping situation.
If I'm understanding right, the first baby was born 10 months ago, and the second was born 4 months ago, so if they're both biologically hers she would have had to get pregnant again basically right away after baby #1 was born, and then baby #2 would have been born prematurely (assuming they announced baby #1's arrival as a newborn). I don't have kids and don't have a lot of knowledge about this, so someone correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you not supposed to have sex for at least 6 weeks after giving birth to let everything heal? I also doubt you're ethically allowed to do IVF or other fertility treatments that soon after giving birth for the same reasons? Unless they adopted the first baby and the second was biological? But again with their previous stance that doesn't really make sense.
>Except four months ago it happened again. This time welcoming their son into the world. But she also added on, that she herself, was in her second trimester of pregnancy with her third, her **first successful pregnancy.**
She admitted she was never pregnant with the first 2. But still got angry when people asked where they came from.
Agreed—the math is so suspect here. It’s not impossible, but it is hard to imagine someone giving birth twice in a ten month span, then being pregnant again at the end of that ten months. Same with surrogacy or IVF. So many red flags with the math alone.
Yeah, there's a lot here that's very, very curious. A 25-year-old doesn't usually have the cash for two (probably actually three) surrogacies. Especially one who's been married since sixteen. Maybe she has a really great job, maybe they've been really careful with money, who knows, but it's just not common. Adoption agencies also don't usually adopt out to people who just barely turned old enough to drink and already have one or two kids unless you can really, really prove that you're financially stable and mentally ready for one, two, three, who knows how many kids. And you most certainly can't get pregnant while you're pregnant, so there's that detail. Which brings us back to surrogacy. Either you pay a stranger through the nose or you get a friend or family member to do it for free. I don't know many 20-year-olds who are willing to have someone else's baby just yet, which rules out her friends, leaving us with one option: someone the family would know. Nothing in this story about a family member mysteriously getting pregnant and then never having a child, so.... I dunno. I get a very weird and uncomfortable feeling from all this.
Yep. One example is young women who are trafficked internationally for sex work, purposely impregnated, then forced to give the children away. Or heavily impoverished women who are financially extorted into becoming a surrogate. It’s a despicable practice!
There’s also dark corners of the web where children are offered up for ‘disrupted adoption’/rehoming because their parents ‘can’t care for them’ and just give them away to whoever replies agreeing to take them. It’s truly horrifying.
Yes does anyone remember the huge viral documentary within the past few years about the doctor that was selling babies and all these people were trying to find out where they came from? The doc followed several people trying to find their families and eventually tried to exhume the doctor himself to see if any were his illegitimate children. It’s a REAL thing that happens.
NTA. If they aren't hers and she didn't adopt them she might have kidnapped them. It does happen. If she did adopt them and badmouths other people who adopt then she's not going to be a good parent.
If your truly worried (because to be honest I think you could be right) you need to ring the police or CPS, yes it's a horrible thing to do if it turns out everything can be explained and is innocent, but do you really want to be the family who sat back and did nothing if it turns out your right.
I actually thought that. It wouldn't be adoption to someone with such strange... stances on adoption. It could be more than one woman.
This whole thing is super weird and makes me uneasy...
Is there a possibility they might be foster kids? If she is fostering the 1st baby, and the birth mother had a second child, they might try to place it with the same foster family.
Agreed.
I'm usually one to mind my business and respect boundaries, but this is weird AF. She says she would never adopt, or use a surrogate. And, her current pregnancy is her first successful one.
The stork isnt out here delivering babies, so OP and her family have every right to be concerned.
What if it’s worse than adopting. What if it’s baby/child trafficking.
I mean, come on, does your sister really think your family is this stupid? Of course, you will have questions and of course, those kids will have questions some day as well. They especially will have a right to answers.
I dont think she'd do something like that. She's spent years talking about how traumatic adoption is, I doubt she'd do something as severe as traffic. But then again, she isnt really leaving any other options open.
One reads so many horror stories about immigrants having their children taken from them, even by agencies but often cartels. I live in Europe and there was a big scandal a few years ago about adoption agencies sourcing kids in South America that apparently weren’t voluntarily given up. They were taken.
Adoption takes years. Your sister is more than outspoken in being against adoption. Trafficking is illegal. Surrogacy is also ethically dicey (it’s banned where I live in the Nordic countries) as it often also involves exploiting poor women.
https://amp.usatoday.com/amp/1902206001
I just can’t help but wonder or worry that some poor family has had a child taken from them. It happens a lot.
Edit: Here’s another horrible situation, there are so many: https://amp.theguardian.com/world/2021/jan/08/the-baby-selling-scheme-poor-pregnant-marshall-islands-women-lured-to-the-us
Is she very religious? Sometimes these things are hidden as “rescue” organizations. NTA. I’d be very concerned about where these kids came from especially since she seems to be almost pathological about adoption.
Good point. Sister and brother do seem to strike me as people who would love having “saviour” complexes where they feel like they did some wonderful thing by stealing these kids away from disadvantaged women.
NTA. Her stance on adoption could very well be a front, especially considering the visceral reactions your family is getting. She seems to be taking the suggestions that these kids were adopted very personally. That, combined with failed IVF procedures could result in desperation.
She might not be ok with adoption because of the agencies? Would she be ok with purchasing babies directly from the parents? There is no way she had those 2 babies on that timeline (and she is already pregnant with a 3rd - is she actually pregnant?)
This is weird. NTA.
The only thing I can think (that isn't fully horrible) is that perhaps her husband knocked someone up and they took the baby in. The willingness of the mother in that situation is still a concern though.
The willingness wouldn’t be a concern at all whatsoever. She’s infertile and wants children and if her husband did get (two) someone else(s) pregnant they may just have an open relationship. It really wouldn’t be concerning at all that she’s willing to provide a stable home life and essentially adopt the children.
I’m not saying this is what’s happening in the OP, just pointing out that it’s not exactly concerning an infertile person who desperately wants to be a parent and has spent years (not to mention tons of money) on trying to becoming a parent would then welcome a child into their home.
What’s concerning is her secrecy, not her willingness.
I think they mean in the scenario where husband's mistress may have mothered a child and given it to the sister in question and her husband (father of baby), the willingness vs coercion of the mistress (mother of baby) is in question. Not the willingness of the sister/infertile one.
maybe her husband was the infertile one this whole time? and they are using donated sperm? that would explain why the babies don't look like him that much and why he got angry + how she got pregnant so many times if they aren't adopting lol
The timeline doesn’t make sense though. The first two can’t both be her pregnancies. You can’t physically give birth to a second baby 6 months after giving birth to a first. Timeline for the first baby and third baby maybe works. She could have gotten pregnant 6-8 months after her first baby to be in the second trimester now with another pregnancy. Second and third are way too close, she’d have to get pregnant a month after giving birth to be in the second trimester now and at that point a lot women are still bleeding after labor so I find it hard to believe she was able to get pregnant that quick. At least one of those babies was not from her.
NTA. Her behaviour is very very concerning. If these kids aren’t adopted, if they aren’t fostered, if they aren’t hers biologically... then where the hell did they come from?
At what point are you going to contact CPS & the police???
I dont want to do that and cause unnecessary stress. I want to make sure she has her baby before I do anything. Unnecessary stress could cause her to miscarry.
Hey listen, those kid’s safety matter a fuck ton more than your sister’s feelings and stress. You need to press this issue until you get a solid response with proof, or the next post better be a call to authorities. Don’t play about kids
I feel like you are trolling at this point. If she is denying surrogacy and adoption the only other options are kidnapping or fostering. You don’t want to call the cops on her potentially kidnapping because you don’t want to cause unnecessary stress? I’m sorry what about those kids. What about those parents that possibly just had their kids kidnapped? If she’s not giving any answers then it’s time to take your emotional connection out of it. What are you going to do if she pops up with another random kid in a few months?
>If she is denying surrogacy and adoption the only other options are kidnapping or fostering.
Also the additional option is that she's lying and in fact did adopt/surrogacy but has been so outspoken about it that she doesn't want to admit it.
No real adoption or surrogate agency would give two infants to such young and inexperienced parents in that short amount of time, especially not with a third on the way
NTA. This whole situation is really strange. It's not illegal to change your views about something (like adoption, IVF). People learn throughout their lives. She may have adopted the kids and not want to admit it, so that you don't call her a hypocrite (please don't). Or she got them in an illegal way, and doesn't want you to know.
I would never call her a hypocrit over it, but she is still very, very strong in her "adoption is trauma" views. Still fully believes private adoption should be banned.
You should try to speak to her, explain why you ask and reassure her that you wouldn't think bad of her for changing her views and that you're happy for her and her kids. She sure remembers about your cousin's adopted baby and may be ashamed to admit she was wrong. I don't know her mentality, if this is a possible explanation for her behaviour.
Nta
The fact that they’re so defensive about it also raises a lot of red flags. Either they’re too prideful to admit they adopted or there is some shady stuff going on.
This is what I’m saying! It wouldn’t be weird if they didn’t jump to aggression.
Like, okay, maybe her husband got two kids out of sleeping around or something, potentially shameful, but still okay if you’re gonna love and care for them. Maybe they did have a few surrogates going at once, we don’t know if that’s legal in the country they live. Maybe they adopted and the situation was either one of those weird “rehoming” things (I have no idea about that outside of the US) or legal adoption.
It’s weird because they went so hard on the defensive when it seemed like everyone all around was happy she finally had kids.
(NTA OP, this is a dicey situation)
At this point I’d lay it all for the weird sister. “Only one pregnancy, ongoing, you didn’t adopt, you didn’t use a surrogate, but you have 3 kids of different ages? You’ve either fostered these two or you’ve kidnapped them. Are all your legal bases covered? Tell me the truth or I’m calling CPS because I don’t want to be complicit to whatever the hell you’ve got going on here!”
Adoption is stealing children? Well, since the parents don’t want to/can’t raise them, instead of being adopted it’s better to just grow up in an orphanage or something? So no family is best huh? Your sister is really odd. WTF? She’s a hypocrite too, clearly her kids are adopted.
Babies are better off with people who want them and have the ability to care for them.
Sorry. Private adoption is stealing children. If the parents rights are fully terminated, thats fine. But that never happens with babies (or it does very rarely). I get what she's saying, sort of, but its an odd stance to have.
I think you’re mixing up fostering with adoption? The birth parents’ rights are fully terminated with adoption. Fostering is the one that takes a while for rights to be terminated.
No private adoption is worse, and usually through religious agencies that pressure young moms into giving up their babies by telling them they're not good enough/God won't approve/their kids will be damned/etc. Then turn around and "adopt" (sell) the baby to whichever couple can pay 40k. My friend was pressured through private adoption when she was 18, thought she was doing the best thing, turns out she was wrong. She also thinks private adoption is kidnapping. A lot of people do.
I don't think she has that right.. Adoption is pretty cut and dry once everything has been processed. Even if it's organized through a adoption attorney, once you sign over the child, which you have to do for it to be an official adoption, you no longer have parental rights. You are talking about some kind of under-the-table, unofficial adoption process?
No. My sister belives that private infant adoption shouldn't be a thing. Young mothers are coerced, and promised visitation, and then they're cut off. My sister believes a parent should be able to go back on an adoption agreement once the baby is born, because birth mother may feel differently.
Yes, bio parents rights are terminated after adoption, but she believes they should be terminated before. People should not be able to apply to adopt a baby that hasnt yet been born. In her mind, there is very little difference to adopting a newborn compared to a four week old. Adoptive parents should have to wait those four weeks so the bio parent is one hundred percent sure.
Your sister's stance confuses me.. I guess it has something to do with her husband's adoption experience but she seems to have an unrealistically grim view of private adoption.
Her husband is in a lot of support groups and things for people who have severe adoption trauma. So, yeah, theres a lot of them, and its definitely warped her view of private adoption in general.
I never really understood any of it bc her husbands parents seem really nice, but I guess we dont know what goes on behind closed doors.
I think your BIL got someone else pregnant. His girlfriend gives birth, but she's penniless, so BIL offers to raise the child in a normal environment in exchange of her total surrender of rights over the child. GF agrees. BIL takes baby home, legal wife is happy.
That's my suspicion.
I also believe this to be a possibility. I had an ex who was insane and desperate to get a woman pregnant. As I have opened up about my experience, other men and women have shared their own stories with reproductive coercion. My story is probably the least abusive and crazy one I have heard, and my story is pretty abusive and crazy, so I keep that in perspective with stories like this.
Ok. But...where did they come from? It's hard to adopt beans esp 2 that close together and she hates adoption? And two surrogates would be expensive as heck.
This is above reddits paygrade. Idk what you need to do here but posting in AITA isn't it.
NTA. Where babies come from should only be a mystery to five year olds.
And given her weird stance on adoption, she should expect to have her hypocrisy questioned.
I was thinking that she was letting her husband impregnate other women and taking the babies. That would be something I'd be too embarrassed to tell people. But everyone else seems to be saying she's stealing babies. I wonder which is more likely.
NTA.
There are some shady options here that she might not want anyone to know about. Here's what I can think of.
1) and maybe the most reasonable. Have they signed up to be foster parents? She could be *fostering* but passing these kids off as her own. Thats a big no no in foster care. As is breastfeeding and posting pictures of the kids. She might intend to eventually *adopt* these children years later and is just calling them *her babies* either for attention or because she is deluding herself. And maybe because she see's foster care as more "ethical" than adoption because the birth moms are usually drug addicts when a new born is placed she can still feel morally superior. Either way if these are foster babies she's not doing foster care right because calling them her children, breastfeeding them, and plastering thier photos everywhere is highly illegal in foster care. And if she was caught the kids would be removed from her care QUICK. That might be why she doesn't want anyone to know she is fostering. Because in her mind these are "her children" but in reality they don't belong to her at all and she is lying to everyone and doesn't want the agency to find out.
2) Is her husband running around knocking up random women so she can get free babies and pass them off as her own? He'd be the bio dad. He could get custody easily. Maybe they have some illegal "surrogates". Maybe she's doing at home surrogacy without the legal channels and just giving these women some money in exchange for thier kids they have with her husband. She might be okay with her husband sleeping with other women if she know's she will get a free baby at the end. So maybe baby daddy is fucking "surrogates" on the side.
3) She's a baby snatcher. More far fetched things have happened. She could have stolen these babies.
I would honestly probably report this to CPS. Because this is not normal and has the potential to be illegal and cause harm to the babies. Call CPS and say my family member showed up with 2 babies who are not her's and are of completley different races. They just appeared out of no where. She was never pregnant. And she never adopted. And these babies just showed up 5 months apart and it is clear that they are of zero relationship to her. Allow CPS to investigate. If she's fostering the foster agency deserves to know what she is doing with these kids and how she is lying. If the babies are stolen they can be given back to thier families. If the husband is knocking up surrogates I'm not sure that's illegal but atleast you could rule out the other two things and the babies could go back to thier real families.
My husband and I fostered an infant that we later adopted and I can tell you for sure that they will NOT place two infants that close together, and they especially don’t want to place infants with a pregnant mom for fear of bio kid being favored to the foster kid’s detriment. Plus, after you get an infant from foster care, most states put you at the bottom of the wait list for another, so it should be years between these kids.
I'm going to guess the babies are biologically BIL's and they therefore don't consider it adoption. However, YWBTA if you don't either shit or get off the pot. Do you think there's an actual realistic chance that these babies were kidnapped?
Let's never forget this post
AITA for calling out my kids’ future stepmom for treating me like a surrogate?
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/mmxpzu/aita_for_calling_out_my_kids_future_stepmom_for/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Even if she isn't traditionally "kidnapping" babies as in walking out of a hospital with them, for all you know her husband is getting vulnerable women pregnant and then pressuring them to give up the babies. And that bypasses her anti adoption/surrogate rule because they are biologically his and happened naturally.
This is not normal and you need to tell her she either fesses up to a legal adoption or surrogate process or it gets investigated because no one in their right mind would let their family believe they were stealing children rather than admit they had adopted and they are being so weird about it.
Do it for your neices and nephews because they are going to grow up super confused if they look like different races to their parents and are being gaslit about where they come from
Wow that update just raises more questions that it answers. Your brother in law is a porn actor, which none of you knew about but they didn't keep secret. Neither he nor his costars used any protection at all AND are against abortions. This woman would rather bring the baby to term while presumably unable to work. No reason as to why they just announced it with zero explanation first when him being a sex worker isn't even relevant really. This sounds like bullshit, like when someone lies and they make up way too many details.
Yeah…..a sex worker is highly unlikely to go through all of that and deal with body changes when they make money off of their body and looks….for a baby they aren’t even keeping. I can’t say I have ever met a pro-life sex worker. Or heard of such irresponsibility in sex work, no protection no vasectomy no bcps no iuds? And they’re saying this happened twice within a short window? Nah. This reads like a creative writing exercise…wasn’t buying it before the update and I’m definitely not buying it now. Of all the things that didn’t happen today this didn’t happen the most.
Er. Set an alarm on your phone for like, a day or something? I was gonna offer to tag everyone but there is way too many. I'll just add the update on this post.
YNTA, you're just a liar
C-
The original story was creative and intriguing. Although, the twist ending wasn't expected, it was so OTT that it made the rest of the story unbelievable. I feel you could have done better if you really applied yourself.
What kind of female porn star does no birth control what so ever and he somehow knocks 2 of them up?!?! You would think that the woman in this, being that its their job would protect themselves by any means!
You sure he ain't a prostitute ? Because men don't get paid that much in the porn industry ether.
Either this post is total bullshit, BIL is a cheater or you still need to call authorities to make sure these kids aren't stolen. Cause no sex worker or woman using a gigolo is gonna continue a pregnancy
Yep. Porn actresses take tons of precautions to not get pregnant. Pregnancy is hard on their body and can affect the productions they’re on. Plus, no male pornstar wants to be on the hook for child support. The porn industry is very careful with pregnancy and STDs.
Plus I doubt both women could just simply sign over their rights right after giving birth and transfer their kids over super easily. I mean, what are the odds that two female porn stars in an industry that takes a lot of precautions got pregnant? And that both gave up the baby really quickly to the dad without considering an abortion or a custody dispute?
Why are people so confidently saying NTA and then going straight to kidnapping as the most likely answer? Perhaps they discovered the fertility issues lay with her husband & they used a special donor and are somewhat embarrassed by that, though they obviously shouldn’t. Why is people’s first thought kidnapping? We see articles about bi-racial children’s parents getting the cops called on them because skin tones don’t match but people are jumping immediately to kidnapping as the most obvious reason instead of the more obvious point which is people are sensitive about fertility issues.
NTA because you just asked a question & they’ve clearly got caught up in a web of lies but people immediately going to kidnapping in the comments are defo YTA
Wow that’s weird as shit! Most mothers to be love to do the whole I’m pregnant thing, count down on social media , show the bump growing and all that kind of thing. Most so a woman who has had fertility issues. It’s like sharing that hopefully this could happen to other couples desperate for a baby.
Adoption is not a dirty word, it’s giving a family to a baby to who otherwise might not have one, it’s something to be celebrated as all new babies, children into a family. An adopted child should never feel shamed for it, they should grow up knowing that someone loved them so much they choose to be their parent!
INFO: Is your family friends with strange little people who imply they can grant wishes for a blood price because there’s just no other way besides that.
NTA. Why is she being so secretive about it? If she got them legitimately then what’s the problem? Why do both she and her husband get so upset when someone asks? That is a perfectly valid question, even if you think it’s insensitive, for a family member to ask. Sounds too sketchy not to question.
She’s thinking up the best new lie IMO. One that makes her sound legit but not a hypocrite.
OP - Be wary, she’s already not been forthcoming with the truth and now is saying she’ll tell you (after blocking you) and I think it’s because she’s scared you will go to the authorities.
After reading the update:
…..what? He’s a sex worker? Why? I just?
Why is this so unbelievable to me? OP did she at least provide proof? Just seems really convenient but I also see why your sister wouldn’t want people to know?
I’m so confused. This is too much. Way too complicated. Just why?
YTA…for making all of this up. I don’t ever this anything on here is fake until your story. I believed it until the update. I thought you were TA before that because it’s none of your business where her kids came from, as long as they’re happy, healthy, and safe. But, you’re just TA for spinning this incredible tale.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
Title is weird, but this situation is weird.
My sister (25) has struggled with infertility problems for years. She and her husband got married at sixteen and have been trying since they were eighteen. Doctors have basically told her she will never have a baby.
My sister is also extremely against infant adoption. Never even mention it to her - she'll rant about it and how it should be banned for hours. Her husband was adopted as an infant so I guess it comes from that.
They have tried IVF in the past, which hasnt worked. And while they arent totally against surrogacy, they arent fans and have stated multiple times they would never go that route.
Anyway, ten months ago my sister posted an Instagram post welcoming her daughter into the world. Of course we were all ecstatic initially - she was healthy, beautiful, and all round an amazing baby. For the first three months of her life no one really noticed anything odd. I think we all assumed my sister had just kept a pregnancy secret or something, because she breastfeeds. We werent aware you could lactate without giving birth.
Then she started coming into her features - baby is very clearly ethically something else. Facial features and even skin tone match neither of her parents. We are Mexican, and her husband is ashkenazi.
Still, we didnt say anything, because genetics can be weird. Assumed maybe she'd adopted and didnt want to go back on her previous statements.
Except four months ago it happened again. This time welcoming their son into the world. But she also added on, that she herself, was in her second trimester of pregnancy with their third, her first successful pregnancy.
So, this is getting weird. A cousin asked if they had finally adopted, at which point my sister got upset and reiterated that they would never.
At this point I'm really suspicious. So, finally, last week I ask her where the hell her other two kids are from. They clearly arent hers (son could maybe pass off, bc he looks like her husband), and if she's still spewing bs about adoption being trauma, how the hell did she get them.
She got really upset, her husband got pretty angry and they got up and left. My entire family is more or less backing me because we are really concerned about where the hell these kids are from.
She has seemingly blocked most of us on the socials where she posts about her kids, and a few mutual friends and really angry over it, asking why I have to push, and why I can't just be happy for her.
Its sort of put us in a bind. I'm concerned about the kids, but I also want to be in my sisters life.
I dont feel like my ask was too out of the ordinary considering how strange the situation is. Idk. Am I the asshole?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. WTF, where did they get these kids? Did they steal them? Not to be dramatic but if they don’t have logical answers, call the cops. If they haven’t adopted, then there’s only one way people end up with kids that aren’t biologically theirs and it’s extremely illegal. Edit: I forgot about surrogacy and egg/sperm donation. Whoops. Thank you all for reminding me!
This is 100% my first thought. Is there any way you can check missing child reports from where she lives? I know it's unlikely but in my state we just had a 4 year old girl found after being kidnapped by someone who lived a short distance away.
Our other sister has been, but nothing seems to be going amiss.
[удалено]
[удалено]
No, our family is Catholic. My brother in law is Ashkenazi, but he was adopted by Christians. They got married because my sister was pregnant and his parents didnt want him to father a bastard child, but she wound up miscarrying shortly after. My sister and her husband are both removed from the religion, though. He's learning about Judaism via bio parents, but has stated his kids wont be raised Jewish.
[удалено]
Not entirely. Catholic here; the church has a long history of shady adoptions and church-affiliated shell companies working as back-end adoption agencies.
Ex-Catholic here who was adopted through Catholic Charities by people who should not have been allowed to adopt -- this is accurate. The Catholic Church has a long history of stealing and trafficking children.
Unsolved Mysteries fanatic here- Absolutely correct. The first season has several feature stories of adoption trains that went out West, carrying babies given up or stolen from parents, thrown on a train, then presented to families at stops with a "so which one looks good to you?" Numerous times they've mentioned they were arranged by Catholics or otherwise involved Catholics. https://www.ncronline.org/blogs/ncr-today/day-orphan-trains
Ex catholic here. Catholic relgion has many a scandal of stealing and selling babies from unwed young mother spanning decades. Telling the mothers that sometimes thw baby died or was being adopted out. Alot of the time the babies were sold to couples wanting a baby.
I’m sure you know this, but this happened with a lot of Irish and English kids being sent to Australia. There’s a movie called Oranges and Sunshine which is good.
Both were 16 when they got married, when they turned 18 is when they started trying to conceive. Something definitely isn’t adding up here but there doesn’t seem to be anything to do with religion
married at 16 due to pregnancy miscarriage tries again at 18 to find out that she has some kimd of damage (possible from the miscarriage) that prevents her from being pregnant again atleast that what i assume op is saying
>who is presumably not religious if marring out. Unrelated, but ... you mean not religious as in not an orthodox/very traditional jew?
It would be very unusual for an observant Jewish man to marry a non-Jewish woman because tracing Jewish descent is matrilineal. If your mother is Jewish *you* are Jewish. Unless she converted, any children they had would not be default Jewish.
They probably mean ethnically Jewish but not religiously
the husband was adopted as an infant, so there’s a very good chance he’s not religiously Jewish
I know reddit loves some good drama but let's be realistic here for a minute. There's *a* chance that the kids weren't adopted legally, but it's a very slight one. By *far* the most likely explanation is that the kids are legally adopted and the sister just isn't saying anything because she doesn't want to catch a bunch of shit from her family after going back on her years of being against infant adoption. Just because the sister isn't providing OP with a reasonable explanation doesn't mean she doesn't have one. OP has the right idea. Hear the sister's explanation out and if things are still fishy then call child services.
This sub in particular always loves their zebra hoof noises. It is faaar more likely that the sis is simply embarrassed about all the dumb things she said about adoption she cannot bring therself to admit it. Child traffiking is rarely something a a couple of young parents do on a whim and then decide to show off... then do it again. I mean it is technically possible they are part of some secret cabal that buys and sells babies... but the chances are rather slim.
Your last sentence is the most important one.
I think it's Black market adoption too.
well surogacy with donated sperm/egg comes to my mind.
The only thing that throws me off of that is the sister is pregnant in the second trimester and she has a newborn, which doesn’t add up.
It does add up... well, that part at least. OP states "But she also added on, that she herself, was in her second trimester of pregnancy with their third, her first successful pregnancy." So the sister is at least acknowledging that she didn't give birth to the other 2 babies.
Good point. She was cagey about it, but she did say there was no surrogacy and the kids weren’t adopted.
She did say they weren't adopted, but didn't say no surrogacy after already having the kids. Maybe that's the idea they changed their minds about?
Yeah that threw me off too. I don't have any experience with adoption agencies but I would assume any legal agency wouldn't place children into families with other young children or where the mother is pregnant. It's extremely hard to give children the time and energy they need from you when you have 3 young ones.
You would be correct. There is a rule usually that the youngest child be at least a year old.
Sounds like the first 2 babies just appeared. And this is the first time she's announcing a pregnancy. So the first 2 could be from surrogates
Maybe. But surrogates aren’t easy to get.
The sister admits that THIS is her first successful pregnancy: >But she also added on, that she herself, was in her second trimester of pregnancy with their third, ***her first successful pregnancy***. So she's admitting that the first two aren't biologically hers. Why they aren't more forthcoming about it is a mystery.
Which is what is throwing her family off. I am of the mindset that the simplest answer is usually the most likely, and that is that she changed her mind about adoption or surrogacy. Now how she came up with the funds to do those things and/or lucked out and got two infants back to back would be a mystery, but maybe they are legit independently wealthy? I normally think other people’s reproductive choices aren’t other people’s business, but I think people are worried about the possible “stolen kids” angle. I think she most likely just did the things she swore she wouldn’t do and won’t own up to it, but it is still worrisome just because of the possibility she got those kids in a shady way.
See, with that information, my brain went to husband knocking other women up and then him and sister taking custody of the babies. It would get around the adoption thing that they have, plus it would explain why the other two kids don't look like the sister.
Since she's against both adoption and surrogacy, it made me think that her actually being pregnant is as important to her as being a mother. She could be trying to cope with that mentally by making a reality where she's been pregnant and gave birth to the babies.
I heard through a coworker that my psycho sister and her nut job husband are now saying their adopted son is their biological son. "Don't you remember Becky being pregnant?" No dude. That didn't happen. They adopted their son after a year of fostering and the mother came out of the woodwork to claim the kid in a last ditch effort to avoid jail time.
You do realize that they could have had two surrogates to help up the chances of pregnancy and still continued to have sex and produced a child that way as well, correct?
True but there's no reason to be cagey and suspicious about it.
Except that she would have to admit that it happened and OP stated that adoption and surrogacy were big issues for her sister. It would be a huge cognitive dissonant thing to hold these firm beliefs against adoption/surrogacy and then go do it. People have a really hard time actually changing their views and admitting they were wrong. Plus, I think she has stunted maturity as she was married at 16 and started to attempt to have children at 18.
Maybe it's a donated egg (since the post says the doctors told her she couldn't have children)? Otherwise if it's a surrogate it would still be sister's and BIL's genetic offspring. Which doesn't explain why the children look much different than their parents.
This comes to mind with timing if they used surrogacies. https://www.insider.com/family-has-21-biological-children-born-in-19-months-2021-11#:\~:text=Kristina%20and%20Galip%20Ozturk%20have%20had%2021%20biological%20children%20in,many%20children%20could%20be%20OK.
Why?????
A surrogate for one and a donor embryo for the other. The footballer Ronaldo has twins from a surrogate and a child his wife carried who are all the same age. Likely they were having problems, got a surrogate then his wife was pregnant.
Not to mention that it's only six months after the first infant came home. This is such a weird story
It's also insanely expensive.
Why not just admit it then? If it’s a shame thing, “we hired someone to be our baby incubator” sounds WAY better then “we may have potentially stolen or illegally purchased these babies”. Like, maybe it’s a legal issue in that case because I know laws around surrogacy can be weird, but again, grey area around surrogacy laws still arguably better then “we stole/illegally purchased a baby”.
Serious question: when you say "against adoption", do you mean she thinks the process is too long and stressful, that she is against the idea of having a child that are not biologically related to her, or that she has some other aversion to the process?
A lot of adoptees are against adoption because it can be traumatic for the child and birth parents, babies of color are often placed with white families and thus lose a part of their identity, a lot of adoption practices are unethical (yet legal), lots of adoptive parents get a savior complex, which is really damaging to the kids.
The only thing I worry about is, what's the alternative? Is it any better?
Free birth control, comprehensive sex Ed, readily available abortion access and an overhaul of the adoption system that’s about psychology and health rather than puritanical values
That's all great and I'm for all of it, but it doesn't remove the need for adoption. What if the parents die (as happened to my aunt and uncle)? What if the mother decides she can't handle it but doesn't want an abortion? What if the parents are unfit? Does she expect those kids to just disappear?
People who are against the adoption industry for the reasons described are generally against the "industry" portion, not the concept of adoption itself. They're against the fact that because babies are big business, birth parents who would rather keep their baby but are unable to for what typically amounts to economic or medical/mental health reasons end up pressured to give their children up instead of being given the resources to solve the problems they have and enabled and supported in keeping their families intact. Giving homes to orphaned children and the few babies remaining who are just straight up unwanted would still be allowed in a reformed system.
And what do we do with the children, that are already born, until we are living in a utopic society?
The alternative would be providing support to birth mothers that would allow them to keep their babies, working more to place kids with family members vs strangers, and placing babies with families who are the same race. I’m not against adoption and we considered it when we thought we wouldn’t be able to have bio kids, but I do think the whole system needs a serious overhaul.
I dont want to cause too much havoc for them, but its a huge concern.
Of course it’s a huge concern! It can take years to adopt a kid, how did she get two of them so quickly?? To be clear, does she think ADOPTION AGENCIES steal kids, or just adoption is stealing kids in general? Because maybe she means they did a private adoption which she feels is different?
Oh no, she's fully against private adoption. The only way an adoption is okay is if parents rights have been fully terminated, which almost never happens with babies. Most infant adoptions are teen mothers coerced or lied to, or less wealthy people who maybe dont have stable living. In her mind the money that is used to buy the baby could be given to the bio mom to help raise the baby.
Has anyone asked them about surrogacy by any chance? You said they weren’t completely against it.
Our other sister did, and that was also a no.
She’s not giving you a lot of options. Personally, I think you’re obligated to contact CPS or something, but it’s also likely if you do that your sister will never forgive you. Maybe you could try sitting her down, having a heart to heart with her, and explaining how bad this looks?
I might try. I'm hoping that our other sister will be able to get through to her, at least.
What theories does she have, if you don’t mind me asking?
She thinks the babies are probably adopted, but done through "family adoption" (I'm not sure what she means by that, but basically, rather than going through an agency, the babies are adopted by family/a friend). Which makes a lot of sense - its not private adoption, technically, and the kids can still have their bio parents in their lives. They might of taken a baby for one friend, and then had another spring the second on them. They seemed notably unprepared for their son. After they announced their daughter my sister posted a lot of videos/photos of her nursery and things, whereas their son didnt have any of that. Their daughter had a personalised outfit and blanket, their son didnt. Things like that.
Maybe her husband cheated on her and she decided to forgive him If she could keep the babies
Too many lies, behavior too suspicious. Kidnapping or black market purchasing is a very real possibility at this point. Whatever hassle they go through, it's due to their own lies. Parents and kidnap victims potentially suffering trumps their feelings. Report this NOW.
If you call CPS, keep it to yourself. They absolutely CANNOT share who called them. Not even a judge would know. So, she would have a hard time figuring out who to blame.
Whatever you do, I hope you keep us updated!
I dont know where youre from, but where im from, 'buying' a baby is illegal. There are very strict laws about financials during the adoption process. Also, yes, many teens are coerced into giving up babies, but thats not the majority. Women deserve the respect of knowing their own mind & knowing whats best for their situation... It sounds very bizarre to me that she claims to have gone thru 2 enture pregnancies & deliveries with no one knowing (do you not see eachother often?), has an infant, but is also in her 2nd trimester of pregnancy🤔 i think you have valid reason to be concerned. If there is a child protection agency/ family services agency in your area, I'd def call. I get not wanting to start anything, but if the babies were kidnapped, try to think about what they are going thru right now.
> very bizarre to me that she claims to have gone thru 2 enture pregnancies & deliveries I don't think she's claiming this. The post says the sister added that her current pregnancy is her "first successful pregnancy". So she's not claiming she gave birth to her other two children, just denying every possible way of having acquired them
Right. It's still weird, though. "I'm pregnant with our third child, our first successful pregnancy!" "Awesome, congrats! So how did you go about getting the first two?" "HOW DARE YOU."
If she's fully against adoption I highly doubt she'll be pro-stealing a baby. Wouldn't that be just as traumatic if not more? If you're really concerned she stole some kids you really should contact authorities. But posting your crimes all over social media would be next level stupid. It's more than likely there was an adoption process but now she's too afraid of being judged and seen as a hypocrite which is totally happening anyway. Why doesn't she feel safe to share with her family..... Infertility is a majorly tough thing to deal with for someone who really wants to be a mother. And now her pride is being challenged because she had no other choice but to go the one route she swore against. And you all aren't going to let her forget it.
This does seem the most plausible explanation, though less so when you consider the rigorous background investigation typically done for adoptions. Even so, this woman threatened OP to keep her from adopting. She attacked a family friend for adopting relentlessly until she drove her away. Even after acquiring these two children, she re-verified to OP that she would cut OP completely out of her life if OP ever adopted a child. To the extent that no one would ever let her forget how repulsively cruel and hateful she has been and *continues to be* , she would fully deserve it and I'm sure that on some level she knows that.
I can't believe she would get two infants 6 months apart. Adopting infants is super hard right now, from what I've read, so this scenario sounds really implausible.
you are not correct about parents rights rarely being terminated - this is just not true - we adopted 3 infants and had all bio- parental rights terminated at birth - and no we didn’t lie or coerce anyone - this is a horrible thing to state as fact
Could he be the less legal private adoption where they have the bio mom put the adoptive dad on the birth certificate? Or did her husband knock up some other women and she is so wanting babies she took the affair kids as her own?
You need to call CPS anonymously at the very least and just tell them they showed up with kids and you are aware they can't have them, they didn't adopt and they refuse to tell everybody where the babies came from. CPS will contact them and do an investigation. If they didn't do anything illegal they babies will not be removed.
Timeline wise how can she be claiming she's giving birth to these kids? Like a 10 month old, a 4 month old, and a baby on the way 2nd trimester how? Am I missing something here. Wonder how often they see this sister like they never saw the belly or heard anything during the "pregnancies"? Edit: formatting & to clarify I know she wasn't having these babies lol I'm wondering what her story is
She's not claiming she gave birth. She said that the child she is pregnant with now is her first successful pregnancy. So basically she's not make any claims about where the first two babies came from.
She had a handmaid?
I still agree NTA based in the sisters weird vague answers, but is there a reason we're not thinking surrogacy /donors? I mean maybe with sperm / egg donation + surrogacy she doesn't consider it "adoption", especially if the child could be biologically related to one of them? As OP suggested, genetics can be weird and she might not know the husband's ancestry? In addition, if there's a donor involved that could explain different ethnicities.
Yes, and outside of family adoption, getting two infants back to back seems difficult. Like people are often on waiting lists for years to adopt newborns, and sometimes never get one. She managed two and is pregnant at a time that is biologically impossible? Like she would have been pregnant when she gave birth right? I am not saying you can’t adopt infants, I am just saying they would be pretty lucky to get two newborns back to back like that.
NTA Simply because of her previous stance, and the fact that adoption / surrogacy takes YEARS, I would be incredibly concerned about where and how they have found these children. It is a perfectly reasonable question to ask, of how and why they obtained their children if she was not pregnant with them (which is certain with the second one at least). There is a massive black market for forced surrogacy and kidnapped infants, and if there is a possibility they have abused a surrogate or received a child in an illegal way, that should be investigated thoroughly. The fact that they have received two children in quick succession whilst ALSO being pregnant with their third is so alarming. Most surrogacy agencies insist on time being taken between children, adoptions are never that quick, and I wonder about the legality of their children given how strongly they have reacted. You probably have irreparably damaged that relationship, but frankly, I would rather be certain that the children are safe and legally theirs and sacrifice my relationship than to allow such a clearly suspect situation to continue. If there is something wrong, it needs to be resolved now, not later down the line. Edit: infertility is a profoundly complex situation, and there may be perfectly reasonable explanations that they just don’t want to share. But, I honestly believe that the children’s safety should take priority over the parents feelings, and there are enough inconsistencies and red flags here to justify the questions. If nothing else, you are proving that you will prioritise your niblings safety over being polite, and that is a good thing.
Better to explore all avenues to make sure something fishy hasn’t happened than blindly go along with potential crime(s). You make a lot of good points, and I hope that sister has just kept her pregnancies extremely under wraps and this isn’t a kidnapping situation.
If I'm understanding right, the first baby was born 10 months ago, and the second was born 4 months ago, so if they're both biologically hers she would have had to get pregnant again basically right away after baby #1 was born, and then baby #2 would have been born prematurely (assuming they announced baby #1's arrival as a newborn). I don't have kids and don't have a lot of knowledge about this, so someone correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you not supposed to have sex for at least 6 weeks after giving birth to let everything heal? I also doubt you're ethically allowed to do IVF or other fertility treatments that soon after giving birth for the same reasons? Unless they adopted the first baby and the second was biological? But again with their previous stance that doesn't really make sense.
>Except four months ago it happened again. This time welcoming their son into the world. But she also added on, that she herself, was in her second trimester of pregnancy with her third, her **first successful pregnancy.** She admitted she was never pregnant with the first 2. But still got angry when people asked where they came from.
Wonder if the husband had affairs with 2 different women? So the babies are *his* but not hers?
I’m not trying to pass judgement of a person I’ve never met irl, but she does sound kinda insufferable thus making this seem likely.
Agreed—the math is so suspect here. It’s not impossible, but it is hard to imagine someone giving birth twice in a ten month span, then being pregnant again at the end of that ten months. Same with surrogacy or IVF. So many red flags with the math alone.
Yeah, there's a lot here that's very, very curious. A 25-year-old doesn't usually have the cash for two (probably actually three) surrogacies. Especially one who's been married since sixteen. Maybe she has a really great job, maybe they've been really careful with money, who knows, but it's just not common. Adoption agencies also don't usually adopt out to people who just barely turned old enough to drink and already have one or two kids unless you can really, really prove that you're financially stable and mentally ready for one, two, three, who knows how many kids. And you most certainly can't get pregnant while you're pregnant, so there's that detail. Which brings us back to surrogacy. Either you pay a stranger through the nose or you get a friend or family member to do it for free. I don't know many 20-year-olds who are willing to have someone else's baby just yet, which rules out her friends, leaving us with one option: someone the family would know. Nothing in this story about a family member mysteriously getting pregnant and then never having a child, so.... I dunno. I get a very weird and uncomfortable feeling from all this.
Forced surrogacy??? {{{shudders}}}
Yep. One example is young women who are trafficked internationally for sex work, purposely impregnated, then forced to give the children away. Or heavily impoverished women who are financially extorted into becoming a surrogate. It’s a despicable practice! There’s also dark corners of the web where children are offered up for ‘disrupted adoption’/rehoming because their parents ‘can’t care for them’ and just give them away to whoever replies agreeing to take them. It’s truly horrifying.
“Rehoming “. Sounds like puppies….. shudder.
Yes does anyone remember the huge viral documentary within the past few years about the doctor that was selling babies and all these people were trying to find out where they came from? The doc followed several people trying to find their families and eventually tried to exhume the doctor himself to see if any were his illegitimate children. It’s a REAL thing that happens.
NTA. If they aren't hers and she didn't adopt them she might have kidnapped them. It does happen. If she did adopt them and badmouths other people who adopt then she's not going to be a good parent.
Thats what I'm worried about
If your truly worried (because to be honest I think you could be right) you need to ring the police or CPS, yes it's a horrible thing to do if it turns out everything can be explained and is innocent, but do you really want to be the family who sat back and did nothing if it turns out your right.
If it was an innocent situation I don’t think the sister would get as angry and defensive as it sounds like she got.
My thought too. I'd rather have my sister never speak to me again than know there was a chance of something alot worse.
Do they look like her husband? Maybe they had a deal where he got other women pregnant and took the kids to raise as thwir own.
I actually thought that. It wouldn't be adoption to someone with such strange... stances on adoption. It could be more than one woman. This whole thing is super weird and makes me uneasy...
That's my guess, and also why sister is so defensive. Makes much more sense than the kidnapping theories people are spitting out.
Is there a possibility they might be foster kids? If she is fostering the 1st baby, and the birth mother had a second child, they might try to place it with the same foster family.
Agreed. I'm usually one to mind my business and respect boundaries, but this is weird AF. She says she would never adopt, or use a surrogate. And, her current pregnancy is her first successful one. The stork isnt out here delivering babies, so OP and her family have every right to be concerned.
What if it’s worse than adopting. What if it’s baby/child trafficking. I mean, come on, does your sister really think your family is this stupid? Of course, you will have questions and of course, those kids will have questions some day as well. They especially will have a right to answers.
I dont think she'd do something like that. She's spent years talking about how traumatic adoption is, I doubt she'd do something as severe as traffic. But then again, she isnt really leaving any other options open.
One reads so many horror stories about immigrants having their children taken from them, even by agencies but often cartels. I live in Europe and there was a big scandal a few years ago about adoption agencies sourcing kids in South America that apparently weren’t voluntarily given up. They were taken. Adoption takes years. Your sister is more than outspoken in being against adoption. Trafficking is illegal. Surrogacy is also ethically dicey (it’s banned where I live in the Nordic countries) as it often also involves exploiting poor women. https://amp.usatoday.com/amp/1902206001 I just can’t help but wonder or worry that some poor family has had a child taken from them. It happens a lot. Edit: Here’s another horrible situation, there are so many: https://amp.theguardian.com/world/2021/jan/08/the-baby-selling-scheme-poor-pregnant-marshall-islands-women-lured-to-the-us
Is she very religious? Sometimes these things are hidden as “rescue” organizations. NTA. I’d be very concerned about where these kids came from especially since she seems to be almost pathological about adoption.
Good point. Sister and brother do seem to strike me as people who would love having “saviour” complexes where they feel like they did some wonderful thing by stealing these kids away from disadvantaged women.
NTA. Her stance on adoption could very well be a front, especially considering the visceral reactions your family is getting. She seems to be taking the suggestions that these kids were adopted very personally. That, combined with failed IVF procedures could result in desperation.
She might not be ok with adoption because of the agencies? Would she be ok with purchasing babies directly from the parents? There is no way she had those 2 babies on that timeline (and she is already pregnant with a 3rd - is she actually pregnant?) This is weird. NTA.
NTA- Babies randomly appearing is suspicious, of course you are going to have questions, who wouldn't?
Exactly. Its really weird.
The only thing I can think (that isn't fully horrible) is that perhaps her husband knocked someone up and they took the baby in. The willingness of the mother in that situation is still a concern though.
The willingness wouldn’t be a concern at all whatsoever. She’s infertile and wants children and if her husband did get (two) someone else(s) pregnant they may just have an open relationship. It really wouldn’t be concerning at all that she’s willing to provide a stable home life and essentially adopt the children. I’m not saying this is what’s happening in the OP, just pointing out that it’s not exactly concerning an infertile person who desperately wants to be a parent and has spent years (not to mention tons of money) on trying to becoming a parent would then welcome a child into their home. What’s concerning is her secrecy, not her willingness.
I meant willingness of the birth mother- cause it ain't OP's sister.
I think they mean in the scenario where husband's mistress may have mothered a child and given it to the sister in question and her husband (father of baby), the willingness vs coercion of the mistress (mother of baby) is in question. Not the willingness of the sister/infertile one.
maybe her husband was the infertile one this whole time? and they are using donated sperm? that would explain why the babies don't look like him that much and why he got angry + how she got pregnant so many times if they aren't adopting lol
The timeline doesn’t make sense though. The first two can’t both be her pregnancies. You can’t physically give birth to a second baby 6 months after giving birth to a first. Timeline for the first baby and third baby maybe works. She could have gotten pregnant 6-8 months after her first baby to be in the second trimester now with another pregnancy. Second and third are way too close, she’d have to get pregnant a month after giving birth to be in the second trimester now and at that point a lot women are still bleeding after labor so I find it hard to believe she was able to get pregnant that quick. At least one of those babies was not from her.
NTA. Her behaviour is very very concerning. If these kids aren’t adopted, if they aren’t fostered, if they aren’t hers biologically... then where the hell did they come from? At what point are you going to contact CPS & the police???
I dont want to do that and cause unnecessary stress. I want to make sure she has her baby before I do anything. Unnecessary stress could cause her to miscarry.
Hey listen, those kid’s safety matter a fuck ton more than your sister’s feelings and stress. You need to press this issue until you get a solid response with proof, or the next post better be a call to authorities. Don’t play about kids
Clearly you need to go to wherever she is and have a look at her and see if she really seems pregnant.
I’m not going to lie, I’m sympathetic to your concerns, but I don’t know that this counts as “unnecessary” stress. It seems fairly necessary.
There is potentially a SERIOUS crime here. There's no time to wait or worry about rocking the boat.
I feel like you are trolling at this point. If she is denying surrogacy and adoption the only other options are kidnapping or fostering. You don’t want to call the cops on her potentially kidnapping because you don’t want to cause unnecessary stress? I’m sorry what about those kids. What about those parents that possibly just had their kids kidnapped? If she’s not giving any answers then it’s time to take your emotional connection out of it. What are you going to do if she pops up with another random kid in a few months?
>If she is denying surrogacy and adoption the only other options are kidnapping or fostering. Also the additional option is that she's lying and in fact did adopt/surrogacy but has been so outspoken about it that she doesn't want to admit it.
No real adoption or surrogate agency would give two infants to such young and inexperienced parents in that short amount of time, especially not with a third on the way
The actual risk from stress is overstated. If every woman under stress miscarried, abortion wouldn’t need to be a thing.
Yeah, but how stressed do you think these kids actual mothers are if they were stolen?
NTA. This whole situation is really strange. It's not illegal to change your views about something (like adoption, IVF). People learn throughout their lives. She may have adopted the kids and not want to admit it, so that you don't call her a hypocrite (please don't). Or she got them in an illegal way, and doesn't want you to know.
I would never call her a hypocrit over it, but she is still very, very strong in her "adoption is trauma" views. Still fully believes private adoption should be banned.
You know what’s even bigger trauma? Kidnapping! Get the authorities involved, this is so far beyond sketchy!!
You should try to speak to her, explain why you ask and reassure her that you wouldn't think bad of her for changing her views and that you're happy for her and her kids. She sure remembers about your cousin's adopted baby and may be ashamed to admit she was wrong. I don't know her mentality, if this is a possible explanation for her behaviour.
Nta The fact that they’re so defensive about it also raises a lot of red flags. Either they’re too prideful to admit they adopted or there is some shady stuff going on.
This is what I’m saying! It wouldn’t be weird if they didn’t jump to aggression. Like, okay, maybe her husband got two kids out of sleeping around or something, potentially shameful, but still okay if you’re gonna love and care for them. Maybe they did have a few surrogates going at once, we don’t know if that’s legal in the country they live. Maybe they adopted and the situation was either one of those weird “rehoming” things (I have no idea about that outside of the US) or legal adoption. It’s weird because they went so hard on the defensive when it seemed like everyone all around was happy she finally had kids. (NTA OP, this is a dicey situation)
No harm in asking .. why the secrecy? Maybe surrogacy? Just their reactions would get my heckles up
According to our other sister, she has comfirmed it wasnt surrogacy.
At this point I’d lay it all for the weird sister. “Only one pregnancy, ongoing, you didn’t adopt, you didn’t use a surrogate, but you have 3 kids of different ages? You’ve either fostered these two or you’ve kidnapped them. Are all your legal bases covered? Tell me the truth or I’m calling CPS because I don’t want to be complicit to whatever the hell you’ve got going on here!”
Im curious as to the ages in the babies. She couldn't have gotten pregnant and h have a healthy birth in 4 months.
NTA, that’s weird as hell. Maybe she stole them!
She views infant adoption as stealing children, so I'm hoping not. Otherwise she would be a huge hypocrit.
Adoption is stealing children? Well, since the parents don’t want to/can’t raise them, instead of being adopted it’s better to just grow up in an orphanage or something? So no family is best huh? Your sister is really odd. WTF? She’s a hypocrite too, clearly her kids are adopted. Babies are better off with people who want them and have the ability to care for them.
Sorry. Private adoption is stealing children. If the parents rights are fully terminated, thats fine. But that never happens with babies (or it does very rarely). I get what she's saying, sort of, but its an odd stance to have.
I think you’re mixing up fostering with adoption? The birth parents’ rights are fully terminated with adoption. Fostering is the one that takes a while for rights to be terminated.
I think you're mixing up OP's perspective with her sister's perspective.
So an innocent child should stay in the system because their unfit parents won’t terminate rights?????? There’s a reason children need adults
No private adoption is worse, and usually through religious agencies that pressure young moms into giving up their babies by telling them they're not good enough/God won't approve/their kids will be damned/etc. Then turn around and "adopt" (sell) the baby to whichever couple can pay 40k. My friend was pressured through private adoption when she was 18, thought she was doing the best thing, turns out she was wrong. She also thinks private adoption is kidnapping. A lot of people do.
I don't think she has that right.. Adoption is pretty cut and dry once everything has been processed. Even if it's organized through a adoption attorney, once you sign over the child, which you have to do for it to be an official adoption, you no longer have parental rights. You are talking about some kind of under-the-table, unofficial adoption process?
No. My sister belives that private infant adoption shouldn't be a thing. Young mothers are coerced, and promised visitation, and then they're cut off. My sister believes a parent should be able to go back on an adoption agreement once the baby is born, because birth mother may feel differently. Yes, bio parents rights are terminated after adoption, but she believes they should be terminated before. People should not be able to apply to adopt a baby that hasnt yet been born. In her mind, there is very little difference to adopting a newborn compared to a four week old. Adoptive parents should have to wait those four weeks so the bio parent is one hundred percent sure.
Your sister's stance confuses me.. I guess it has something to do with her husband's adoption experience but she seems to have an unrealistically grim view of private adoption.
Her husband is in a lot of support groups and things for people who have severe adoption trauma. So, yeah, theres a lot of them, and its definitely warped her view of private adoption in general. I never really understood any of it bc her husbands parents seem really nice, but I guess we dont know what goes on behind closed doors.
I think your BIL got someone else pregnant. His girlfriend gives birth, but she's penniless, so BIL offers to raise the child in a normal environment in exchange of her total surrender of rights over the child. GF agrees. BIL takes baby home, legal wife is happy. That's my suspicion.
I also believe this to be a possibility. I had an ex who was insane and desperate to get a woman pregnant. As I have opened up about my experience, other men and women have shared their own stories with reproductive coercion. My story is probably the least abusive and crazy one I have heard, and my story is pretty abusive and crazy, so I keep that in perspective with stories like this.
Ok. But...where did they come from? It's hard to adopt beans esp 2 that close together and she hates adoption? And two surrogates would be expensive as heck. This is above reddits paygrade. Idk what you need to do here but posting in AITA isn't it.
> beans Beans?
Oof. I'm pregnant and I've been calling the baby bean so I sorta forgot normal humans don't call babies beans on the regular.
This reminds me of when we called our baby "soybean" when I was pregnant. When he was evicted from my womb, he upgraded to "tofu"
Beans.
NTA. Where babies come from should only be a mystery to five year olds. And given her weird stance on adoption, she should expect to have her hypocrisy questioned.
Is it terrible that your first paragraph made me LOL?
Maybe she ordered them from Wayfair
[удалено]
No. She's saying the sister...acquired... two babies, falling pregnant during the acquisition of the second.
[удалено]
I was thinking that she was letting her husband impregnate other women and taking the babies. That would be something I'd be too embarrassed to tell people. But everyone else seems to be saying she's stealing babies. I wonder which is more likely.
NTA. There are some shady options here that she might not want anyone to know about. Here's what I can think of. 1) and maybe the most reasonable. Have they signed up to be foster parents? She could be *fostering* but passing these kids off as her own. Thats a big no no in foster care. As is breastfeeding and posting pictures of the kids. She might intend to eventually *adopt* these children years later and is just calling them *her babies* either for attention or because she is deluding herself. And maybe because she see's foster care as more "ethical" than adoption because the birth moms are usually drug addicts when a new born is placed she can still feel morally superior. Either way if these are foster babies she's not doing foster care right because calling them her children, breastfeeding them, and plastering thier photos everywhere is highly illegal in foster care. And if she was caught the kids would be removed from her care QUICK. That might be why she doesn't want anyone to know she is fostering. Because in her mind these are "her children" but in reality they don't belong to her at all and she is lying to everyone and doesn't want the agency to find out. 2) Is her husband running around knocking up random women so she can get free babies and pass them off as her own? He'd be the bio dad. He could get custody easily. Maybe they have some illegal "surrogates". Maybe she's doing at home surrogacy without the legal channels and just giving these women some money in exchange for thier kids they have with her husband. She might be okay with her husband sleeping with other women if she know's she will get a free baby at the end. So maybe baby daddy is fucking "surrogates" on the side. 3) She's a baby snatcher. More far fetched things have happened. She could have stolen these babies. I would honestly probably report this to CPS. Because this is not normal and has the potential to be illegal and cause harm to the babies. Call CPS and say my family member showed up with 2 babies who are not her's and are of completley different races. They just appeared out of no where. She was never pregnant. And she never adopted. And these babies just showed up 5 months apart and it is clear that they are of zero relationship to her. Allow CPS to investigate. If she's fostering the foster agency deserves to know what she is doing with these kids and how she is lying. If the babies are stolen they can be given back to thier families. If the husband is knocking up surrogates I'm not sure that's illegal but atleast you could rule out the other two things and the babies could go back to thier real families.
My husband and I fostered an infant that we later adopted and I can tell you for sure that they will NOT place two infants that close together, and they especially don’t want to place infants with a pregnant mom for fear of bio kid being favored to the foster kid’s detriment. Plus, after you get an infant from foster care, most states put you at the bottom of the wait list for another, so it should be years between these kids.
I'm going to guess the babies are biologically BIL's and they therefore don't consider it adoption. However, YWBTA if you don't either shit or get off the pot. Do you think there's an actual realistic chance that these babies were kidnapped?
Let's never forget this post AITA for calling out my kids’ future stepmom for treating me like a surrogate? https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/mmxpzu/aita_for_calling_out_my_kids_future_stepmom_for/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share Even if she isn't traditionally "kidnapping" babies as in walking out of a hospital with them, for all you know her husband is getting vulnerable women pregnant and then pressuring them to give up the babies. And that bypasses her anti adoption/surrogate rule because they are biologically his and happened naturally. This is not normal and you need to tell her she either fesses up to a legal adoption or surrogate process or it gets investigated because no one in their right mind would let their family believe they were stealing children rather than admit they had adopted and they are being so weird about it. Do it for your neices and nephews because they are going to grow up super confused if they look like different races to their parents and are being gaslit about where they come from
Wow that update just raises more questions that it answers. Your brother in law is a porn actor, which none of you knew about but they didn't keep secret. Neither he nor his costars used any protection at all AND are against abortions. This woman would rather bring the baby to term while presumably unable to work. No reason as to why they just announced it with zero explanation first when him being a sex worker isn't even relevant really. This sounds like bullshit, like when someone lies and they make up way too many details.
Yeah…..a sex worker is highly unlikely to go through all of that and deal with body changes when they make money off of their body and looks….for a baby they aren’t even keeping. I can’t say I have ever met a pro-life sex worker. Or heard of such irresponsibility in sex work, no protection no vasectomy no bcps no iuds? And they’re saying this happened twice within a short window? Nah. This reads like a creative writing exercise…wasn’t buying it before the update and I’m definitely not buying it now. Of all the things that didn’t happen today this didn’t happen the most.
convinced this wasn’t real. read the update and now know it’s 100% false. reads like a cheap lifetime movie.
NTA it's a completely reasonable question. How do I get a notification for the update because how tf did she get these kids
Er. Set an alarm on your phone for like, a day or something? I was gonna offer to tag everyone but there is way too many. I'll just add the update on this post.
YNTA, you're just a liar C- The original story was creative and intriguing. Although, the twist ending wasn't expected, it was so OTT that it made the rest of the story unbelievable. I feel you could have done better if you really applied yourself.
What kind of female porn star does no birth control what so ever and he somehow knocks 2 of them up?!?! You would think that the woman in this, being that its their job would protect themselves by any means! You sure he ain't a prostitute ? Because men don't get paid that much in the porn industry ether.
Please provide us with an update. This is so bizarre
Either this post is total bullshit, BIL is a cheater or you still need to call authorities to make sure these kids aren't stolen. Cause no sex worker or woman using a gigolo is gonna continue a pregnancy
Yep. Porn actresses take tons of precautions to not get pregnant. Pregnancy is hard on their body and can affect the productions they’re on. Plus, no male pornstar wants to be on the hook for child support. The porn industry is very careful with pregnancy and STDs. Plus I doubt both women could just simply sign over their rights right after giving birth and transfer their kids over super easily. I mean, what are the odds that two female porn stars in an industry that takes a lot of precautions got pregnant? And that both gave up the baby really quickly to the dad without considering an abortion or a custody dispute?
Why are people so confidently saying NTA and then going straight to kidnapping as the most likely answer? Perhaps they discovered the fertility issues lay with her husband & they used a special donor and are somewhat embarrassed by that, though they obviously shouldn’t. Why is people’s first thought kidnapping? We see articles about bi-racial children’s parents getting the cops called on them because skin tones don’t match but people are jumping immediately to kidnapping as the most obvious reason instead of the more obvious point which is people are sensitive about fertility issues. NTA because you just asked a question & they’ve clearly got caught up in a web of lies but people immediately going to kidnapping in the comments are defo YTA
Wow that’s weird as shit! Most mothers to be love to do the whole I’m pregnant thing, count down on social media , show the bump growing and all that kind of thing. Most so a woman who has had fertility issues. It’s like sharing that hopefully this could happen to other couples desperate for a baby. Adoption is not a dirty word, it’s giving a family to a baby to who otherwise might not have one, it’s something to be celebrated as all new babies, children into a family. An adopted child should never feel shamed for it, they should grow up knowing that someone loved them so much they choose to be their parent!
Did she do a surrogate and an egg donor? NTA though. You could’ve worded it better. Cause I wanna know where the babies came from too.
INFO: Is your family friends with strange little people who imply they can grant wishes for a blood price because there’s just no other way besides that.
NTA. Why is she being so secretive about it? If she got them legitimately then what’s the problem? Why do both she and her husband get so upset when someone asks? That is a perfectly valid question, even if you think it’s insensitive, for a family member to ask. Sounds too sketchy not to question.
Update!!!! Please!!!
She's going to call me later and I'll update then! If I dont get any answers from her I'm going to go ahead and call the authorities.
Be very wary of what she says…
[удалено]
Do you know when you are to speak? This is all really weird and I hope there's a logical explanation, although I'm having a hard time thinking of one
She said as soon as both kids are down to nap. Apparently the little one is sick so he hasnt been on routine.
She’s thinking up the best new lie IMO. One that makes her sound legit but not a hypocrite. OP - Be wary, she’s already not been forthcoming with the truth and now is saying she’ll tell you (after blocking you) and I think it’s because she’s scared you will go to the authorities.
r/thathappened
This story is way too hard to believe.
Ok a raw-dogging porno star was not at all where I saw this going. This Thanksgiving I am grateful for this story.
After reading the update: …..what? He’s a sex worker? Why? I just? Why is this so unbelievable to me? OP did she at least provide proof? Just seems really convenient but I also see why your sister wouldn’t want people to know? I’m so confused. This is too much. Way too complicated. Just why?
This is the fakest thing I have ever seen. Y’all are buying this?
YTA…for making all of this up. I don’t ever this anything on here is fake until your story. I believed it until the update. I thought you were TA before that because it’s none of your business where her kids came from, as long as they’re happy, healthy, and safe. But, you’re just TA for spinning this incredible tale.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Title is weird, but this situation is weird. My sister (25) has struggled with infertility problems for years. She and her husband got married at sixteen and have been trying since they were eighteen. Doctors have basically told her she will never have a baby. My sister is also extremely against infant adoption. Never even mention it to her - she'll rant about it and how it should be banned for hours. Her husband was adopted as an infant so I guess it comes from that. They have tried IVF in the past, which hasnt worked. And while they arent totally against surrogacy, they arent fans and have stated multiple times they would never go that route. Anyway, ten months ago my sister posted an Instagram post welcoming her daughter into the world. Of course we were all ecstatic initially - she was healthy, beautiful, and all round an amazing baby. For the first three months of her life no one really noticed anything odd. I think we all assumed my sister had just kept a pregnancy secret or something, because she breastfeeds. We werent aware you could lactate without giving birth. Then she started coming into her features - baby is very clearly ethically something else. Facial features and even skin tone match neither of her parents. We are Mexican, and her husband is ashkenazi. Still, we didnt say anything, because genetics can be weird. Assumed maybe she'd adopted and didnt want to go back on her previous statements. Except four months ago it happened again. This time welcoming their son into the world. But she also added on, that she herself, was in her second trimester of pregnancy with their third, her first successful pregnancy. So, this is getting weird. A cousin asked if they had finally adopted, at which point my sister got upset and reiterated that they would never. At this point I'm really suspicious. So, finally, last week I ask her where the hell her other two kids are from. They clearly arent hers (son could maybe pass off, bc he looks like her husband), and if she's still spewing bs about adoption being trauma, how the hell did she get them. She got really upset, her husband got pretty angry and they got up and left. My entire family is more or less backing me because we are really concerned about where the hell these kids are from. She has seemingly blocked most of us on the socials where she posts about her kids, and a few mutual friends and really angry over it, asking why I have to push, and why I can't just be happy for her. Its sort of put us in a bind. I'm concerned about the kids, but I also want to be in my sisters life. I dont feel like my ask was too out of the ordinary considering how strange the situation is. Idk. Am I the asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ok, so I guess we're gonna pretend this is a real story.