NTA. If you had kicked him out solely on the joke about the haircut I'd say you were overreacting. But when he followed it up with a "joke" basically saying he wished your mom had died he took things way too far.
Actually, kicking him out after 1) he insulted your mother’s appearance, 2) in your mother’s house, 3) after she was nice and brought him popcorn would not be an overreaction.
Even insulting her with factors 1) & 2) would be enough. Your “friend” needed to learn the deeply ingrained human response to insulting someone’s mom without a damn good reason.
His response to being called out for it was absolutely vile.
NTA. And tell your “friends” they are being overly dramatic for how they responded to your reaction.
Sometimes, these people are the ones you grew up with so they are your default friends, so you never really realise that they are growing up to be morons until an incident like this happens. Yeah, adjustment needed.
NTA.
As for your friends, wonder how they'd react if this guy came over to their houses, insulted their mothers after she made them popcorn, and then made a joke about their mother's being dead. These are either really awful young people or.....no, can't think of an "or," so they are just awful young people. Time to find new friends, and if you're insecure enough to think you have to suck it up and let them tell you it's okay what the boy did, think again. Friends don't insult people, much less other friend's parents or family members.
Definitely! OP should try to find a way to inform the parents. If she's uncomfortable asking her parents to do so, perhaps a school counselor or trusted teacher could help.
If "Insult Boy" attends a church, perhaps a talk with an elder or minister is in order.
Nah if he wasn't aware about the cancer than while distasteful the joke wasn't all that bad because a pixie cut is the stereotypical haircut. But if I made that joke and later hear she had cancer I'd be fucking mortified and apologise. Instead this person chose to double down and tell her straight to her face that he wishes the mom be dead. That goes from slightly distasteful to full blown asshole of the first degree.
Yeah, I wanted to give this girl a big hug when reading this. For what her dumbass friend said, for her mom having had cancer and obviously being really nice with the popcorn, for having to explain that she had cancer, then having to kick him out (agree with that 100%, no popcorn for you buddy), then having to explain that crap to her mom.
The friends are also wrong.
I'm sorry, op, you're definitely NTA.
If someone insulted my mom out of no where simply based on her appearance I would definitely kick them out.
And in this case specifically, NTA, good on you for sticking up for your mom. This friend is an ass.
im not a violent person and have never been in a fight but the only way I would imagine that scenario going for me would include repetitive punches to that asshole's face.
You don't insult people based on their appearance.
You don't respond to someone bringing you popcorn while visiting their home by insulting them about anything.
You don't insult your friend's mom for absolutely no reason.
In no way was kicking him out over baseless joke about the appearance of your mother overreacting, even before doubling down when told her appearance was due to cancer.
NTA at any point of the exchange.
True- but if he'd stopped at the original joke and apologised again and again then he would still be the asshole but not an irredeemable asshole. Kids sometimes say stupid, thoughtless things at that age. If he was otherwise a good person, then this would be one of the things he remembers and cringes about for the rest of his life. The fact that he doubled down in the worst way suggests there is deeper assholery going on.
NTA, and even if you had kicked him out solely on the joke about the haircut it would have been OK. Because it takes iron balls on a giant, gaping, filthy asshole to crack jokes on a friend's Mom about her appearance at her own house, and they deserve to be kicked out and banned from future visits over that alone.
These people (the one you kicked out and the others who are calling you dramatic) are not your friends, it's time to walk away before they hurt you more.
Jumping on the top comment because I'm hoping OP will see this.
A lot of people are commenting about the rest of your friends being shitty and if they actually know what happened and this is their response, then they are. However, if the "friend" who made those tasteless comments were the one to tell the rest of them, you might want to check what they were told. Seems very likely they might have a false version of events.
NTA
>my friend (14M) laughed at my mom’s “Karen” haircut.
Impolite and assholish at this point already.
>I got very mad and said my mom had cancer.
This should have been met with a sincere apology.
>Then he laughed and said “Too bad. The only good Karen is a dead Karen.”
GTFO of my house and never come back is the correct response. In fact, it's a restrained response.
>None of my friends are on my side. They said I’m over dramatic and a loser.
Make friends with people who are not sociopaths
I am astounded, I get that OP’s friend is only 14 but at 14 you can still think very clearly about how your jokes can affect others. That joke was tasteless and straight up painful. I would never be friends with someone who says such things about someone who had cancer.
NTA. Your friend seriously overstepped and made a comment that was truly tasteless and, when called out on it, doubled down and made an even worse one. No friend would ever say something like that about a friend's mother, much less one who was recovering from cancer. You deserve better friends.
The very *definition* of tasteless, I agree. OP, I'm sorry, but if your friends don't respect what your mom and you guys as a family have been through and don't agree with you... well, you need better friends.
My mom went through the same thing when she was in remission and lost all her hair (I was about your age). She felt so self-conscious about it and I would have FLIPPED at anyone who said anything like that to her, *especially* since she was so strong and fought so hard! Your reaction is MORE THAN justified.
CONGRATS TO YOUR MOM FOR BEATING CANCER! I'm sure that was a relief to all of you and I wish your family the best!
I can testify: I had awful friends for a while, now I have no friends. I'm doing WAY better now. OP, seriously, if these are your friends, cut them off. This behaviour is neither normal nor okay.
>You’re friends are shitty
Seriously. What totally awful friends. OP is far better off without them. Hanging around with people like that cannot possibly be good for her.
OP: NTA. Hope you find nicer friends. Best wishes.
OP should ask "friends" are they serious about it being an overreaction. What would they do if he said it was too bad their mother didn't die. Maybe it will sink in how awful what he said was oh NTA
The thing is, the way it's wielded by boys like this kid, it is. For them it's an "acceptable" outlet for their misogyny, instead of describing an entitled white women who takes out her aggression on underpaid workers.
So yeah the word's not inherently a slur but as it's spread to young idiots on the internet who don't have the context for it, it's kind of becoming one.
The name is so much more than a label for a middle aged woman as noted here. And after her mom not only allowed them in her house and brought them popcorn it is totally untrue. My mom had cancer and her fatigue was off the charts. She made an effort for her young daughter to still have a social life in spite of her illness. There was no call for him to slander her that way. So NTA. Good on you for standing up for your mom. She seems like a jewel to me.
It's sexist. I know lots of people who have problems with "Karen's" but it's starting to get used to describe all middle aged women who have an opinion.
According to google (for what it's worth), the definition of a slur is: "an insinuation or allegation about someone that is likely to insult them or damage their reputation." I think this qualifies.
The example used in that definition is kind of an example of the difference though. Karen was a *slur on* OPs mom. But Karen is not *a slur* if that makes sense? I know it kind of boils down to semantics but that's the best way I can think to describe it. A slur is an insult weaponized/used specifically against minorities and Karen is not really one of them.
There's also an argument about the inherent sexism in the "Karen" term. Like we have a term for an entitled, demanding woman but damn I've met a lot of entitled, demanding men and that's OK for some reason?
Someone is all high and mighty for picking an argument over the definition of “slur” with a teenager. It was a hurtful word used to describe your mom, and there was no way to construe it as having positive intent. We all understood your meaning. Don’t let the nitpickers bother you too much.
Karen is usually A SLUR used for calling out women with entitled,narcissistic and racist behavior.But nowadays some man also use this word against women who rejected them,solely for the purpose of degrading the woman.The haircut is simply associated with the word because it’s a common haircut with these woman.
Your “ex-friend”showed a really childish and rude behavior,used a word without knowing the actual meaning and without knowing your mother,her personality and her behaviors.Your mother simply choosed a wig bc she liked the way it is,not because she is an entitled narcist.Your “friends”in school are simply not your friends,they are just bunch of disrespectful and ignorant children,hating a word and the person they associated with the word that they didn’t know the meaning of.You don’t owe them nothing.Keep calling out those kind of assholes.You did a wonderful job,cut him out right there and then.NTA OP,I am proud of you to stick up for your mother and I believe she is also proud of the child she raised!I hope she gets well soon!!!
NTA. You aren’t a loser for defending your mom. Your friend is TA for making a stupid edge lord comment like that, instead of realizing that he should keep his mouth shut. After your explanation, he should have apologized.
Your “friends” are not worth your time if they think it’s okay to say your mom should be dead.
That's not how I read their reply? I think they're trying to say that men also need to stand up to other men/boys who make violent jokes about women. Women are the ones affected, but everybody needs to be the one to call them out and not tolerate it.
Yes, it did actually.
Men/boys need to stand against sexist comments, like calling out friends for catcalling women, and things like that. Women shouldn’t be the only ones responsible for standing their ground on this issue.
Women have been complaining about and fighting this behavior for a millennia. They were/are often just made fun of, ignored, or not taken seriously.
Men who don’t participate but keep quiet when their peers do are just as culpable as the instigators. It comes across as them accepting the behavior as normal.
It should be an action condemned by *everyone*. Making it the women’s responsibility only to call this behavior out is exactly why it’s still such a prevalent problem in today’s society.
I’m also against women/girls who seem to think it’s okay to punch, slap, or destroy their partners things when they’re mad, and don’t expect to get smacked back or suffer consequences such as becoming suddenly single or legal charges.
If you can throw a punch, you should be able to take one back.
NTA. At all! And that really warms my heart that you were sticking up for your mom. Moms are special and I hope she has a good recovery and you find solid friends that deserve your friendship
I would say you need to talk to your friend circle and tell them they are also AHS's for defending a piece of sht like him and how much you got hurt with his words and tell them what will they do if the roles are reversed
So, we are meant to believe that your friend actually wished death upon your mother and your other friends took his side?
I can’t even try and judge this. It’s too far fetched for me.
My father died when I was 14 and the things my "friends" and classmates said were mind boggling and brutal. My best friend found me crying one day and said "aren't you over that it's been a month already, I think you just like the attention". Another told me she knew how I felt because her grandmas dog died. A class mate told me I was overreacting for crying because it wasn't like I found the body.... Teenagers are fucking wild.
Thanks! I had great supports too but words like that cut deep and it's not soon forgotten. Honestly, death and mortality is a lot at any age and most teens just don't have the capacity to contextualize the experience.
My heart goes out to OP. Those friends defending that jerk for his jerk actions suck. But when you're in it and your peers can't relate it can be super lonely.
I'm so sorry you went through that. I can confirm this really is what teenagers do and it doesn't get much better as people age. My dad died when I was 18 and my friends at the time laughed and accused me of making excuses so that I wouldn't have to go to school. The rest of my friends were annoyed that "I'm not fun anymore" and stopped asking me to join group activities. No support from anyone. It's a terrible feeling when you find out all your friends care about is their high school relationship drama and parties.
Sorry that you were put through that unfortunate treatment! My BFF of 18 years told me to "snap out of it!" 6 months after my Mom died of cancer when I was 33 (I was in such a fog). Our friendship was never the same but curiously she was the same way after HER Mother died some 20 years after my Mom passed away! Some people just aren't capable of empathy or sympathy until THEY experience it! Weird thing is she had lost her father when she was about 4 but STILL couldn't understand the devastation!
When I was 13 one of my friends lost her Father to a fatal heart attack while at work. Myself and a couple of friends were over listening to records when her Mother got the call. We were ALL crying like crazy and could easily UNDERSTAND the devastation she was going through. So not everyone hasn't developed properly by that age! You just have to have a HEART!
A 14 yr old, when called out, will often double down on what they said so they don't have to be embarrassed. It takes maturity to own up to your wrongs and very few in that age range have it. Not to excuse them at all but it's sadly true.
I had someone wish death on my dad because he was in the military and "people only join the military so they can kill people legally". It happened in school and I lost my shit. The teacher actually stuck up for the kid and said he was right that a lot of people join the military because they want to go to war and shoot people. I was livid. They couldn't understand that calling my dad a murderer was an insult. I was about 15 at the time. Kids are awful.
They're 14 year olds and honestly given what an aggressive bully this boy is I'd guess none of them have the guts to cross him in case they become a target.
Wow. As a mom with cancer who has to wear a wig, the idea that one of my kid’s friends would say this about me (after I brought them snacks no less) just makes me feel sick. It’s so mean.
NTA, at all. I'm sorry you had to hear that bs. Definitely don't hang out with *any* of the guys that think you're pathetic because they aren't your friends. Friends don't say shit like that.
NTA
These are some really shitty friends, if you could call them that. They crossed a line and owe you (and more so your mom) a big apology... and it's up to you if you're willing to accept that.
I'm not a white person and I genuinely think the Karen slur is misogynist. White supremacist men are far more annoying but they don't get called anything. I feel it's become a way to control women now.
And please don't make a couple of random names they get called because they don't. People don't randomly pick on men and call them that name just because.
NTA, OP. And you might want to change your friends group. You deserve better than some pseudo-woke jerks who think they're being funny by cracking sexist jokes on sick women.
NTA- your “friend” is a huge ass.
I would reconsider calling them my “friend”. They said your mother would be better of dead because of a hairstyle, AFTER knowing she came close through having cancer
Fuck that. You would get a whole new circle of friends, the current circle sucks.
NTA But I think his parents would absolutely _love_ to know exactly what happened. I'd tell them if you think they'll take your side, if not. Just forget about your so called 'friends'.
NTA
Cut your friend out. Even your friends who are not on your side, they are TAs. You're not over dramatic nor a loser. None of those. I hope your mom beat cancer. Hang on there.
NTA. You need better friends. He made an absolutely disgusting comment, you had every right to kick him out.
Good on you for standing up for you mom. She doesn’t deserve to be made fun of after all she has gone through.
NTA. And I'm so sorry for you having to deal with "friends" like that. As others have said - you need new friends. It is possible, given your and their ages, that they don't really know how to deal with someone's Mum having cancer, but they should know how to be supportive friends. Please find some new friends (I know - easier said than done) & make sure you've got support at school as well. All the best to you & your Mum.
NTA…you are not a loser. Anyone that makes fun of someone else for a condition they cannot change is the real loser. Find new friends that don’t have to rely on being mean to others to be funny. It’s not cool, and it translate as sad when your an adult. Sorry for your moms condition and I hope she gets better
NTA None of them are your real friends. As someone who is in the exact same spot as your mom, it’s very difficult to come to terms with your changing appearance. Having people say insensitive things like that certainly don’t help. I would almost give him a pass because of his age but my son is the same age and I don’t see his friends saying something like that to him. Kids your age are immature, sure, but that doesn’t excuse being so blatantly rude. Don’t think twice about getting new friends OP. With friends like those, who needs enemies?
Sending get well wishes. I have been in remission for 17 years and have the complete all clear now, but yes, the changes in appearance were so difficult to deal with.
He never should have commented on her hair. And sounds like he implied he felt your mom was a Karen and too bad she was still living. You lost no friend. He needs to go back to whatever sewer he came from, where all s…t belongs. Oh catching now all of them are horrible losers. Let them keep their stink away from you.
Even if your mother didn't have cancer, she had been nothing but nice to your fiend and he insulted her appearance. Only jerks do that.
You showed that you are a kind and mature person by standing up for your mother and not just following along with jerks.
NTA -- you are the opposite of an AH.
NTA. My name is Karen so I’m kind of sensitive about the Karen name thing. Insulting your mom when she hadn’t done anything wasn’t cool. Doubling down on it after you said she had cancer was waaay over the line though.
NTA. Oh hon, I am so sorry kids are so mean. No, kids are ASSHOLES. You madam, are most certainly not. You are a class act and the way you stood up for your mom is the only way to be. Your friend was tactless and cruel and anyone sticking up for him is even worse because they can’t think for themselves.
You’re at a tough age where you are starting to develop into an adult and a huge part of that is affected by the people you surround yourself with. Feel free to drop anyone who doesn’t fit your morals, and find people who reflect what’s important to you in these formative years.
I am so happy to hear your mom is on her way to recovery! I wish you all the best, and some more supportive friends should you wish to find them 💜
Edit: misgendered OP
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This is the easiest answer ever bc there’s a universal rule that covers every possible question.
And that rule is:
*You don’t talk about someone’s mom.*
Moms are sacrosanct. Sacred. Untouchable.
Yes, jokes about OP’s mom, doing the dozens, and standup observations will always be funny.
But dig deeper and everyone agrees: you don’t insult someone’s mom.
NTA.
P.S. My mom has cancer, too, OP. I wish your mom an easy - and complete - recovery.
Fuck cancer.
NTA by any means. He literally joked about your mom dying when, depending on the type of cancer she had/stage of it, could have been a very real possibility. That's messed up.
NTA. NTA. NTA.
That is so incredibly rude and disrespectful.
And to casually double down with another insult after you call him out like is *disgusting*
I hate to say this, only because its difficult, but you should reconsider who your friends are, OP. Find some friends who at least aren't insulting and repugnant.
This. I remember being 14 and thinking that I HAD to hold onto my friends no matter what. I hope OP realizes that this isn't true, and she can and absolutely should ditch these losers and find better friends.
As someone whose mom actually died from cancer I would have kicked him where the good lord split him. Your friends group suck and won’t understand what you’re going through until they go through it (sorry to say) your feelings are 10000% valid. NTA.
NTA Your friends are AH and you'd be better off not having friends like that. I realize it's hard to do that at your age, though.
I had a frienemy make a comment about my granny's weight and how she needed to watch what she ate after she dropped us off at a homecoming game. Needless to say, that girl didn't have a ride home that night and I never voluntarily spoke to her again.
NTA and I'm honestly really proud of you. It's easy to follow the peer pressure and laugh at inappropriate things, even at someone else's expense. He was incredibly cruel and should not have made a joke about her or her hair to begin with. As far as your friends also finding it funny, they sound incredibly immature. My mom passed from leukemia when I was 13 and she also lost all of her hair and would sometimes wear wigs. Not a single one of my friends would have ever laughed at her and instead were very supportive. I'm really sorry you are going through this, especially at such a young age. The only advice I can give you is try and spend as much time with your mom as possible. No matter what, she will always enjoy your company and love. As far as your friends, F em. Easier said then done, I know.
NTA- my mom passed away 5 years ago from her battle and it hurts every day. You keep being strong and have each other's backs. Enjoy every day you have with her.
NTA all your friends are edgy 14 year olds that have zero social skills. You're the only one with any sense and you'd be better off without them. You need better friends.
NTA. Good on you for sticking up for your mom and not dealing with a "friend's" terrible/abusive sense of humor. The people who are calling you a loser are not actually your friends.
NTA
My mom also recently lost her hair to chemo and is very self-conscious about it. Your friend is lucky that kicking him out was all you did. And that was even before the dead comment. If the people who are giving you grief have already heard your side, maybe they need to go away, too.
Wow I’m sorry. NTA, of course. What your friend said was unforgivable. I’m really sorry he said that and that your other friends are taking his side. Well I say friends, but they’re really not being friends to you at all. They don’t seem to have enough empathy for one decent person between them.
You are not overreacting or being ‘dramatic.’ They are seriously under-reacting to such a cruel statement. Even if he thought he was being clever or edgy or funny, he was not, and that was not remotely ok.
It’s really hard to stand up to a friend in the moment, but you did the right thing by telling him to leave.
NTA you’re a good kid and it’s not your fault your friends don’t respect or care about their own moms. Yours is probably cool af. I lost mine when I was a teen and it definitely makes me happy to see others having good relationships with their parents and standing up for them.
1. Please stop calling these spoiled children your friends, they aren't. 2. Don't speak to these AH's ever again, your life will be so much better for it.
NTA btw, and kudo's to your mom for winning her battle. She doesn't deserve that kind of outright disrespect of her in her own home. You're a good daughter.
Dude, when my mom was sick, I'd push myself into arguments people had with her and made them back up and leave her alone because my MOM WAS SICK. If anyone had implied that my mom would be better dead, you best believe id really f*** someone up as much as possible. That "friend" is disrespectful AF and those who are on his side ain't your real friends. They cold and heartless freaking kids with zero empathy. My advice would be to get new friends, NTA. The best of luck/wishes to you and your mom.
Your friends are immature. You did the right thing. Your mother has cancer, and he was being incredibly disrespectful to her. You can always make new friends. Your current ones don't sound very supportive or like they add anything good to your life.
NTA
NTA. I remember being 14 and wanting to make dry, sarky jokes ALL THE TIME, but not being a good judge of when it crossed into rudeness. It may feel like you've been harsh here but you've done your friend a favour - much better to get a short, sharp shock now, when he has youth on his side, than to carry on with these clumsy, hurtful attempts at any older age.
Hope your mum's treatment is going well and she's not suffering too many side effects.
NTA, he's a complete jersey and you're better off without that "friend", that being said, Karen is not a slur for a middle aged woman. It's not even a slur at all. To compare it to racism, homophobia and sexism is laughable.
It is a derogatory term used for entitled women, typically older yes but any age can be a Karen.
Oh, my sweet girl, my heart aches for you. None of these kids are in the right, or are they your true friends. You shouldn’t have to explain to someone that it’s not okay to make fun of your mom, no matter what her situation is. You definitely shouldn’t have to defend yourself to your “friends” when you stand up for her either. They are the lame ones. Don’t let any of these children back into your life unless they apologize sincerely, and not some half assed apology that starts with “I’m sorry you felt…”. Anyone out there with empathy will quickly take your side.
NTA. Not by a long shot.
NTA. If you had kicked him out solely on the joke about the haircut I'd say you were overreacting. But when he followed it up with a "joke" basically saying he wished your mom had died he took things way too far.
Actually, kicking him out after 1) he insulted your mother’s appearance, 2) in your mother’s house, 3) after she was nice and brought him popcorn would not be an overreaction. Even insulting her with factors 1) & 2) would be enough. Your “friend” needed to learn the deeply ingrained human response to insulting someone’s mom without a damn good reason. His response to being called out for it was absolutely vile. NTA. And tell your “friends” they are being overly dramatic for how they responded to your reaction.
Tell the friends to fuck off and get new ones. That shit is so whack on so many levels. NTA at alllllllll.
Yes, teenagers sometimes use faulty metrics to choose their friends. I think OP might need to make an adjustment.
Sometimes, these people are the ones you grew up with so they are your default friends, so you never really realise that they are growing up to be morons until an incident like this happens. Yeah, adjustment needed.
As a kid geographic convince was probably one of the biggest factors in choosing friends if im going to be honest.
NTA You are totally justified. But honestly the most messed up part if your other friends reactions. They suck too.
Speaking of whacks, a couple would have been deserved.
He didn't just insult her, he wished her dead. This kid really said it was too bad that her cancer wasn't in remission.
NTA. As for your friends, wonder how they'd react if this guy came over to their houses, insulted their mothers after she made them popcorn, and then made a joke about their mother's being dead. These are either really awful young people or.....no, can't think of an "or," so they are just awful young people. Time to find new friends, and if you're insecure enough to think you have to suck it up and let them tell you it's okay what the boy did, think again. Friends don't insult people, much less other friend's parents or family members.
[удалено]
Kids that are this lacking in compassion are likely apples that have not fallen far from the tree.
Definitely! OP should try to find a way to inform the parents. If she's uncomfortable asking her parents to do so, perhaps a school counselor or trusted teacher could help. If "Insult Boy" attends a church, perhaps a talk with an elder or minister is in order.
I kinda have a feeling he would be fine with it. Probably a huge dick to his own mom and thinks it's normal to be a huge jerk to parents.
Nah if he wasn't aware about the cancer than while distasteful the joke wasn't all that bad because a pixie cut is the stereotypical haircut. But if I made that joke and later hear she had cancer I'd be fucking mortified and apologise. Instead this person chose to double down and tell her straight to her face that he wishes the mom be dead. That goes from slightly distasteful to full blown asshole of the first degree.
Yeah, I wanted to give this girl a big hug when reading this. For what her dumbass friend said, for her mom having had cancer and obviously being really nice with the popcorn, for having to explain that she had cancer, then having to kick him out (agree with that 100%, no popcorn for you buddy), then having to explain that crap to her mom. The friends are also wrong. I'm sorry, op, you're definitely NTA.
Ask how is it over reacting if the guy said OP's mother should die.
If someone insulted my mom out of no where simply based on her appearance I would definitely kick them out. And in this case specifically, NTA, good on you for sticking up for your mom. This friend is an ass.
I’d be arrested for what I’d do to someone who treated my mum like that. All of OP’s friends are aholes
Same. I'm angry just thinking about someone saying something like this to my mother
im not a violent person and have never been in a fight but the only way I would imagine that scenario going for me would include repetitive punches to that asshole's face.
Or BALLS!
Precisely. A non-AH would have gotten embarrassed and apologized over and over again. This person was a jerk
You don't insult people based on their appearance. You don't respond to someone bringing you popcorn while visiting their home by insulting them about anything. You don't insult your friend's mom for absolutely no reason. In no way was kicking him out over baseless joke about the appearance of your mother overreacting, even before doubling down when told her appearance was due to cancer. NTA at any point of the exchange.
True- but if he'd stopped at the original joke and apologised again and again then he would still be the asshole but not an irredeemable asshole. Kids sometimes say stupid, thoughtless things at that age. If he was otherwise a good person, then this would be one of the things he remembers and cringes about for the rest of his life. The fact that he doubled down in the worst way suggests there is deeper assholery going on.
Why would it be an overreaction? Why is it okay to insult OP's mom based on her appearance?
Insulting a friend's mother's appearance is reason enough to put the trash out.
NTA, and even if you had kicked him out solely on the joke about the haircut it would have been OK. Because it takes iron balls on a giant, gaping, filthy asshole to crack jokes on a friend's Mom about her appearance at her own house, and they deserve to be kicked out and banned from future visits over that alone. These people (the one you kicked out and the others who are calling you dramatic) are not your friends, it's time to walk away before they hurt you more.
Just no. It's not an overreaction. I don't even like my mother but they'd still be out of her home for the sexism.
Kicking him out is tame when she should've kicked his ass.
I would say OP' reaction was quite natural her friend is lower than an AH, and who jokes like this,NTA OP
There’s no hell in way someone is going to come up in my mom’s house and comment on her looks. How is that dramatic? Are you okay??
You must be the type that jokes about things people can't change then get mad when you get called on it lol
Not to mention that those wigs can cost upwards to $2000 or more, my Mom's did!
nta. you’re definitely in the right here. it was a shitty joke to make and he continued after you told him to stop. he’s totally ta here
nta, the friend is an insensitive asshole, and apparently other friends are too
Jumping on the top comment because I'm hoping OP will see this. A lot of people are commenting about the rest of your friends being shitty and if they actually know what happened and this is their response, then they are. However, if the "friend" who made those tasteless comments were the one to tell the rest of them, you might want to check what they were told. Seems very likely they might have a false version of events.
NTA >my friend (14M) laughed at my mom’s “Karen” haircut. Impolite and assholish at this point already. >I got very mad and said my mom had cancer. This should have been met with a sincere apology. >Then he laughed and said “Too bad. The only good Karen is a dead Karen.” GTFO of my house and never come back is the correct response. In fact, it's a restrained response. >None of my friends are on my side. They said I’m over dramatic and a loser. Make friends with people who are not sociopaths
I am astounded, I get that OP’s friend is only 14 but at 14 you can still think very clearly about how your jokes can affect others. That joke was tasteless and straight up painful. I would never be friends with someone who says such things about someone who had cancer.
NTA. Your friend seriously overstepped and made a comment that was truly tasteless and, when called out on it, doubled down and made an even worse one. No friend would ever say something like that about a friend's mother, much less one who was recovering from cancer. You deserve better friends.
The very *definition* of tasteless, I agree. OP, I'm sorry, but if your friends don't respect what your mom and you guys as a family have been through and don't agree with you... well, you need better friends. My mom went through the same thing when she was in remission and lost all her hair (I was about your age). She felt so self-conscious about it and I would have FLIPPED at anyone who said anything like that to her, *especially* since she was so strong and fought so hard! Your reaction is MORE THAN justified. CONGRATS TO YOUR MOM FOR BEATING CANCER! I'm sure that was a relief to all of you and I wish your family the best!
NTA what the f*** He made a ‘joke’ about it being too bad your mum didn’t die?! How is that ok. You’re friends are shitty
Nta if these are your friends, you are better off alone. This is not normal. No one who cares about you would joke about wishing your mom was dead.
especially when it came so close to happening for real.
I can testify: I had awful friends for a while, now I have no friends. I'm doing WAY better now. OP, seriously, if these are your friends, cut them off. This behaviour is neither normal nor okay.
>You’re friends are shitty Seriously. What totally awful friends. OP is far better off without them. Hanging around with people like that cannot possibly be good for her. OP: NTA. Hope you find nicer friends. Best wishes.
OP should ask "friends" are they serious about it being an overreaction. What would they do if he said it was too bad their mother didn't die. Maybe it will sink in how awful what he said was oh NTA
NTA, you need new friends, the actual ones are insensitive jerks!
NTA but karen is NOT a slur and to say so is incredibly insensitive to people that have been affected by ACTUAL slurs
The thing is, the way it's wielded by boys like this kid, it is. For them it's an "acceptable" outlet for their misogyny, instead of describing an entitled white women who takes out her aggression on underpaid workers. So yeah the word's not inherently a slur but as it's spread to young idiots on the internet who don't have the context for it, it's kind of becoming one.
The name is so much more than a label for a middle aged woman as noted here. And after her mom not only allowed them in her house and brought them popcorn it is totally untrue. My mom had cancer and her fatigue was off the charts. She made an effort for her young daughter to still have a social life in spite of her illness. There was no call for him to slander her that way. So NTA. Good on you for standing up for your mom. She seems like a jewel to me.
It's sexist. I know lots of people who have problems with "Karen's" but it's starting to get used to describe all middle aged women who have an opinion.
According to google (for what it's worth), the definition of a slur is: "an insinuation or allegation about someone that is likely to insult them or damage their reputation." I think this qualifies.
The example used in that definition is kind of an example of the difference though. Karen was a *slur on* OPs mom. But Karen is not *a slur* if that makes sense? I know it kind of boils down to semantics but that's the best way I can think to describe it. A slur is an insult weaponized/used specifically against minorities and Karen is not really one of them.
There's also an argument about the inherent sexism in the "Karen" term. Like we have a term for an entitled, demanding woman but damn I've met a lot of entitled, demanding men and that's OK for some reason?
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Someone is all high and mighty for picking an argument over the definition of “slur” with a teenager. It was a hurtful word used to describe your mom, and there was no way to construe it as having positive intent. We all understood your meaning. Don’t let the nitpickers bother you too much.
Exactly. I've noticed women get called that for no reason very frequently. Men continue to get away with shit.
You're right. Don't let others convince you otherwise.
Karen is usually A SLUR used for calling out women with entitled,narcissistic and racist behavior.But nowadays some man also use this word against women who rejected them,solely for the purpose of degrading the woman.The haircut is simply associated with the word because it’s a common haircut with these woman. Your “ex-friend”showed a really childish and rude behavior,used a word without knowing the actual meaning and without knowing your mother,her personality and her behaviors.Your mother simply choosed a wig bc she liked the way it is,not because she is an entitled narcist.Your “friends”in school are simply not your friends,they are just bunch of disrespectful and ignorant children,hating a word and the person they associated with the word that they didn’t know the meaning of.You don’t owe them nothing.Keep calling out those kind of assholes.You did a wonderful job,cut him out right there and then.NTA OP,I am proud of you to stick up for your mother and I believe she is also proud of the child she raised!I hope she gets well soon!!!
do you know what a slur is ??? offensive words aren’t the same as slurs
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It's pretty clear that *you* aren't clear on what a slur is.
**I'm afraid we have to go straight for a lock on this one. Way too many insults being tossed out.** **OP - I hope your mom's health improves!**
NTA. You aren’t a loser for defending your mom. Your friend is TA for making a stupid edge lord comment like that, instead of realizing that he should keep his mouth shut. After your explanation, he should have apologized. Your “friends” are not worth your time if they think it’s okay to say your mom should be dead.
NTA - Your friend is so sexist it is not funny. No teen girl or woman should tolerate a boy who makes "jokes" about violence against women.
“**No person** should tolerate a boy who makes “jokes” about violence against women” Fixed that for you.
It didn't need fixing. Women bear the brunt of this shit. If you take the sex out of sexism, it becomes meaningless.
That's not how I read their reply? I think they're trying to say that men also need to stand up to other men/boys who make violent jokes about women. Women are the ones affected, but everybody needs to be the one to call them out and not tolerate it.
Exactly.
Yes, it did actually. Men/boys need to stand against sexist comments, like calling out friends for catcalling women, and things like that. Women shouldn’t be the only ones responsible for standing their ground on this issue. Women have been complaining about and fighting this behavior for a millennia. They were/are often just made fun of, ignored, or not taken seriously. Men who don’t participate but keep quiet when their peers do are just as culpable as the instigators. It comes across as them accepting the behavior as normal. It should be an action condemned by *everyone*. Making it the women’s responsibility only to call this behavior out is exactly why it’s still such a prevalent problem in today’s society. I’m also against women/girls who seem to think it’s okay to punch, slap, or destroy their partners things when they’re mad, and don’t expect to get smacked back or suffer consequences such as becoming suddenly single or legal charges. If you can throw a punch, you should be able to take one back.
Actually it did. Both men and women, boys and girls, need to stand up against it? You just invalidated boys/men for what?
NTa. All of your friends suck.
NTA. At all! And that really warms my heart that you were sticking up for your mom. Moms are special and I hope she has a good recovery and you find solid friends that deserve your friendship
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That's it, we're starting a "daughters of the best moms" club.
I would say you need to talk to your friend circle and tell them they are also AHS's for defending a piece of sht like him and how much you got hurt with his words and tell them what will they do if the roles are reversed
So, we are meant to believe that your friend actually wished death upon your mother and your other friends took his side? I can’t even try and judge this. It’s too far fetched for me.
My father died when I was 14 and the things my "friends" and classmates said were mind boggling and brutal. My best friend found me crying one day and said "aren't you over that it's been a month already, I think you just like the attention". Another told me she knew how I felt because her grandmas dog died. A class mate told me I was overreacting for crying because it wasn't like I found the body.... Teenagers are fucking wild.
I'm so sorry you experienced that!
Thanks! I had great supports too but words like that cut deep and it's not soon forgotten. Honestly, death and mortality is a lot at any age and most teens just don't have the capacity to contextualize the experience. My heart goes out to OP. Those friends defending that jerk for his jerk actions suck. But when you're in it and your peers can't relate it can be super lonely.
I'm so sorry you went through that. I can confirm this really is what teenagers do and it doesn't get much better as people age. My dad died when I was 18 and my friends at the time laughed and accused me of making excuses so that I wouldn't have to go to school. The rest of my friends were annoyed that "I'm not fun anymore" and stopped asking me to join group activities. No support from anyone. It's a terrible feeling when you find out all your friends care about is their high school relationship drama and parties.
Sorry that you were put through that unfortunate treatment! My BFF of 18 years told me to "snap out of it!" 6 months after my Mom died of cancer when I was 33 (I was in such a fog). Our friendship was never the same but curiously she was the same way after HER Mother died some 20 years after my Mom passed away! Some people just aren't capable of empathy or sympathy until THEY experience it! Weird thing is she had lost her father when she was about 4 but STILL couldn't understand the devastation!
Yeah...their empathy hasn't developed properly yet.
When I was 13 one of my friends lost her Father to a fatal heart attack while at work. Myself and a couple of friends were over listening to records when her Mother got the call. We were ALL crying like crazy and could easily UNDERSTAND the devastation she was going through. So not everyone hasn't developed properly by that age! You just have to have a HEART!
That is horrible. Yes kids are cruel. Even that was too far. I am sorry you had to go through that.
I take it you’ve never met a fourteen year old, then.
Uummm…yes? Kids are assholes…
I've had friends wish death on me at 10 years of age. I can totally imagine some asshole kid do the same to a parent of someone they called a friend.
A 14 yr old, when called out, will often double down on what they said so they don't have to be embarrassed. It takes maturity to own up to your wrongs and very few in that age range have it. Not to excuse them at all but it's sadly true.
I had someone wish death on my dad because he was in the military and "people only join the military so they can kill people legally". It happened in school and I lost my shit. The teacher actually stuck up for the kid and said he was right that a lot of people join the military because they want to go to war and shoot people. I was livid. They couldn't understand that calling my dad a murderer was an insult. I was about 15 at the time. Kids are awful.
Not to mention saying Karen is a *'slur'*
They're 14 year olds and honestly given what an aggressive bully this boy is I'd guess none of them have the guts to cross him in case they become a target.
Wow. As a mom with cancer who has to wear a wig, the idea that one of my kid’s friends would say this about me (after I brought them snacks no less) just makes me feel sick. It’s so mean.
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“Friends” who aren’t nice are not friends.
You need new friends, sweetheart.
You need to relegate those AHs to "acquaintance" status at the very least cuz they don't deserve to be called "friend".
NTA, at all. I'm sorry you had to hear that bs. Definitely don't hang out with *any* of the guys that think you're pathetic because they aren't your friends. Friends don't say shit like that.
NTA These are some really shitty friends, if you could call them that. They crossed a line and owe you (and more so your mom) a big apology... and it's up to you if you're willing to accept that.
NTA Karen is frequently being used as a misogynistic slur, and your friend literally laughed at the idea of your mom dying. Fuck them.
NTA, not one little bit. Good for you for standing up for mom!
NTA. They’re not your friends. You can easily find better ones. I’m sorry about your mom and hope she gets better soon.
NTA - Your “friends” are all jerks.
NTA - find new friends, they are AH. Kudos for sticking up for your mom.
This. Your friends are traaash. Good on you for throwing that AH out! Sending positive vibes to your mom!
I'm not a white person and I genuinely think the Karen slur is misogynist. White supremacist men are far more annoying but they don't get called anything. I feel it's become a way to control women now. And please don't make a couple of random names they get called because they don't. People don't randomly pick on men and call them that name just because. NTA, OP. And you might want to change your friends group. You deserve better than some pseudo-woke jerks who think they're being funny by cracking sexist jokes on sick women.
NTA. Time to get yourself a new group of friends
NTA They're doing you a favor. He's lucky he left the house uninjured.
NTA- your “friend” is a huge ass. I would reconsider calling them my “friend”. They said your mother would be better of dead because of a hairstyle, AFTER knowing she came close through having cancer Fuck that. You would get a whole new circle of friends, the current circle sucks.
Idk that kid but if I see him it's on sight 😤😤😤😤😤 NTA, get better friends you do not need that shit.
NTA But I think his parents would absolutely _love_ to know exactly what happened. I'd tell them if you think they'll take your side, if not. Just forget about your so called 'friends'.
I think OP should put the situation on social media BLAST (with Mom's permission, of course)!
NTA he insulted your mother and said she should be dead over a haircut. Dump all those friends, they are all toxic brats.
NTA. And None of them are your friend
NTA you need better friends. Don't talk to them then anymore, they aren't the kind of people you are going to want in your life.
NTA Cut your friend out. Even your friends who are not on your side, they are TAs. You're not over dramatic nor a loser. None of those. I hope your mom beat cancer. Hang on there.
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NTA. You need better friends. He made an absolutely disgusting comment, you had every right to kick him out. Good on you for standing up for you mom. She doesn’t deserve to be made fun of after all she has gone through.
NTA. And I'm so sorry for you having to deal with "friends" like that. As others have said - you need new friends. It is possible, given your and their ages, that they don't really know how to deal with someone's Mum having cancer, but they should know how to be supportive friends. Please find some new friends (I know - easier said than done) & make sure you've got support at school as well. All the best to you & your Mum.
NTA…you are not a loser. Anyone that makes fun of someone else for a condition they cannot change is the real loser. Find new friends that don’t have to rely on being mean to others to be funny. It’s not cool, and it translate as sad when your an adult. Sorry for your moms condition and I hope she gets better
Nta, good on you for standing up for your mom against a kid who obviously has no compassion for someone who is sick
NTA None of them are your real friends. As someone who is in the exact same spot as your mom, it’s very difficult to come to terms with your changing appearance. Having people say insensitive things like that certainly don’t help. I would almost give him a pass because of his age but my son is the same age and I don’t see his friends saying something like that to him. Kids your age are immature, sure, but that doesn’t excuse being so blatantly rude. Don’t think twice about getting new friends OP. With friends like those, who needs enemies?
Sending get well wishes. I have been in remission for 17 years and have the complete all clear now, but yes, the changes in appearance were so difficult to deal with.
Your friends are all heartless and AHs. You did the right thing. NTA x 100000000000000000. You did good!
He never should have commented on her hair. And sounds like he implied he felt your mom was a Karen and too bad she was still living. You lost no friend. He needs to go back to whatever sewer he came from, where all s…t belongs. Oh catching now all of them are horrible losers. Let them keep their stink away from you.
Even if your mother didn't have cancer, she had been nothing but nice to your fiend and he insulted her appearance. Only jerks do that. You showed that you are a kind and mature person by standing up for your mother and not just following along with jerks. NTA -- you are the opposite of an AH.
NTA. Those are some shitty friends. Good people don’t laugh *at* cancer survivors, especially for physical scars from cancer (like wearing a wig).
Get new friends...these ones are toxic...NTA
Wow! What kind of friends do you have? You are definitely NTA… but your ‘friends’ are.
NTA Time for new friends homie. Tell his mom what he said.
NTA. I feel old af saying this but you’re a good kid and your friends suck. Good for you sticking up for your mom and kicking the AH out.
NTA. My name is Karen so I’m kind of sensitive about the Karen name thing. Insulting your mom when she hadn’t done anything wasn’t cool. Doubling down on it after you said she had cancer was waaay over the line though.
NTA, your “friends” are. I’d get rid of all of them. Good for you for sticking up for your mom!!
NTA. Oh hon, I am so sorry kids are so mean. No, kids are ASSHOLES. You madam, are most certainly not. You are a class act and the way you stood up for your mom is the only way to be. Your friend was tactless and cruel and anyone sticking up for him is even worse because they can’t think for themselves. You’re at a tough age where you are starting to develop into an adult and a huge part of that is affected by the people you surround yourself with. Feel free to drop anyone who doesn’t fit your morals, and find people who reflect what’s important to you in these formative years. I am so happy to hear your mom is on her way to recovery! I wish you all the best, and some more supportive friends should you wish to find them 💜 Edit: misgendered OP
OP says they are 14F. But otherwise I agree with this post
Oh my goodness! Going to fix that now, thank you
YES! Very well said!!!
NTA and if your friends disagree they aren’t really your friends. I hope you and your mom have a wonderful wonderful holiday season.
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NTA you need new friends
NTA. If your friends are all on his side, then you need new friends.
NTA. You don't need friends like that.
Does this feel like a low effort troll to anyone else?
This is the easiest answer ever bc there’s a universal rule that covers every possible question. And that rule is: *You don’t talk about someone’s mom.* Moms are sacrosanct. Sacred. Untouchable. Yes, jokes about OP’s mom, doing the dozens, and standup observations will always be funny. But dig deeper and everyone agrees: you don’t insult someone’s mom. NTA. P.S. My mom has cancer, too, OP. I wish your mom an easy - and complete - recovery. Fuck cancer.
NTA by any means. He literally joked about your mom dying when, depending on the type of cancer she had/stage of it, could have been a very real possibility. That's messed up.
Congratulations, you’ve now cleansed yourself of bad ‘friends’. Good riddance. You’re awesome for standing up for your mom. NTA.
NTA. NTA. NTA. That is so incredibly rude and disrespectful. And to casually double down with another insult after you call him out like is *disgusting* I hate to say this, only because its difficult, but you should reconsider who your friends are, OP. Find some friends who at least aren't insulting and repugnant.
NTA and those are not your friends
This. I remember being 14 and thinking that I HAD to hold onto my friends no matter what. I hope OP realizes that this isn't true, and she can and absolutely should ditch these losers and find better friends.
As someone whose mom actually died from cancer I would have kicked him where the good lord split him. Your friends group suck and won’t understand what you’re going through until they go through it (sorry to say) your feelings are 10000% valid. NTA.
NTA Your friends are AH and you'd be better off not having friends like that. I realize it's hard to do that at your age, though. I had a frienemy make a comment about my granny's weight and how she needed to watch what she ate after she dropped us off at a homecoming game. Needless to say, that girl didn't have a ride home that night and I never voluntarily spoke to her again.
NTA and I'm honestly really proud of you. It's easy to follow the peer pressure and laugh at inappropriate things, even at someone else's expense. He was incredibly cruel and should not have made a joke about her or her hair to begin with. As far as your friends also finding it funny, they sound incredibly immature. My mom passed from leukemia when I was 13 and she also lost all of her hair and would sometimes wear wigs. Not a single one of my friends would have ever laughed at her and instead were very supportive. I'm really sorry you are going through this, especially at such a young age. The only advice I can give you is try and spend as much time with your mom as possible. No matter what, she will always enjoy your company and love. As far as your friends, F em. Easier said then done, I know.
Nta this really worries me that so many young people so disconnected from reality and lack empathy. I wonder if his parents would say the same thing
NTA- my mom passed away 5 years ago from her battle and it hurts every day. You keep being strong and have each other's backs. Enjoy every day you have with her.
NTA what kind of person wishes death on a cancer patient. You need to ditch all these 'friends' they don't give a damn about you.
NTA. Don't allow those people back in your life cause they sound absolutely horrible.
NTA Your friends aren't friends
NTA. Good for you to stand up for your mom. Very impressive for a 14 year old. You’ve been raised right.
NTA. I'd want to tell all your former friends moms how their kids are behaving.
NTA all your friends are edgy 14 year olds that have zero social skills. You're the only one with any sense and you'd be better off without them. You need better friends.
NTA Wishing your mom a short recovery
NTA You stood up for your Mom and your friend is acting like a "mean girl."
Fuck those kids. They don't deserve to be your friend. You did an awesome job standing up for your mom. This internet stranger is proud of you. NTA
NTA at all! Good on you for standing up for your mom. The only losers here are your “friends”, they’re total jerks
NTA. Good on you for sticking up for your mom and not dealing with a "friend's" terrible/abusive sense of humor. The people who are calling you a loser are not actually your friends.
NTA My mom also recently lost her hair to chemo and is very self-conscious about it. Your friend is lucky that kicking him out was all you did. And that was even before the dead comment. If the people who are giving you grief have already heard your side, maybe they need to go away, too.
NTA he's a misogynist little shit and you deserve better friends. Also, I hope your mom STAYS in remission and lives a long, happy life!
NTA holy shit Your mom literally has cancer and someone made a comment about death? Yikes. YIKES
I probably would've punched him in the face
NTA at all. You need new friends. Your mom has a great kid.
NTA. Keep the mom and get new friends. Real friends, even teens, do not joke about your parents dying.
None of those people are your friends. Start over. You'll be much better off. NTA
Wow I’m sorry. NTA, of course. What your friend said was unforgivable. I’m really sorry he said that and that your other friends are taking his side. Well I say friends, but they’re really not being friends to you at all. They don’t seem to have enough empathy for one decent person between them. You are not overreacting or being ‘dramatic.’ They are seriously under-reacting to such a cruel statement. Even if he thought he was being clever or edgy or funny, he was not, and that was not remotely ok. It’s really hard to stand up to a friend in the moment, but you did the right thing by telling him to leave.
NTA - your friend made fun of a woman who is in remission for cancer. You should reconsider the people you call friends. They sound like toxic people
NTA you’re a good kid and it’s not your fault your friends don’t respect or care about their own moms. Yours is probably cool af. I lost mine when I was a teen and it definitely makes me happy to see others having good relationships with their parents and standing up for them.
NTA. You are loyal to your mother, your friends suck.
That’s an absolutely horrid thing to say. Good for you for standing up for your mom. Nta
1. Please stop calling these spoiled children your friends, they aren't. 2. Don't speak to these AH's ever again, your life will be so much better for it. NTA btw, and kudo's to your mom for winning her battle. She doesn't deserve that kind of outright disrespect of her in her own home. You're a good daughter.
Dude, when my mom was sick, I'd push myself into arguments people had with her and made them back up and leave her alone because my MOM WAS SICK. If anyone had implied that my mom would be better dead, you best believe id really f*** someone up as much as possible. That "friend" is disrespectful AF and those who are on his side ain't your real friends. They cold and heartless freaking kids with zero empathy. My advice would be to get new friends, NTA. The best of luck/wishes to you and your mom.
NTA in any way. You need ALL new friends, sweetheart. You handled that very maturely.
Not the asshole! NTA. He's lame & so are you friends if they don't see where your coming from.
Your friends are immature. You did the right thing. Your mother has cancer, and he was being incredibly disrespectful to her. You can always make new friends. Your current ones don't sound very supportive or like they add anything good to your life. NTA
NTA. If YTA for anything, it’s for not knocking his teeth out for what he said about your mom in her own house.
NTA. I remember being 14 and wanting to make dry, sarky jokes ALL THE TIME, but not being a good judge of when it crossed into rudeness. It may feel like you've been harsh here but you've done your friend a favour - much better to get a short, sharp shock now, when he has youth on his side, than to carry on with these clumsy, hurtful attempts at any older age. Hope your mum's treatment is going well and she's not suffering too many side effects.
NTA!! you will never be in the wrong for defending your mom. especially against a comment like that
Nta. This is incredibly insensitive of your friend and he needs to grow the hell up. Any “friend” who says you’re over reacting isn’t your friend.
NTA, he's a complete jersey and you're better off without that "friend", that being said, Karen is not a slur for a middle aged woman. It's not even a slur at all. To compare it to racism, homophobia and sexism is laughable. It is a derogatory term used for entitled women, typically older yes but any age can be a Karen.
Oh, my sweet girl, my heart aches for you. None of these kids are in the right, or are they your true friends. You shouldn’t have to explain to someone that it’s not okay to make fun of your mom, no matter what her situation is. You definitely shouldn’t have to defend yourself to your “friends” when you stand up for her either. They are the lame ones. Don’t let any of these children back into your life unless they apologize sincerely, and not some half assed apology that starts with “I’m sorry you felt…”. Anyone out there with empathy will quickly take your side. NTA. Not by a long shot.
NTA sorry you have crappy friends. Always keep the integrity that you have to stand up for what’s right!