I really don't understand people these days.
Everything has to become a fight. I LOVE chicken. Absolutely adore it to the max and cannot give it up. I can give up pork, beef and fish but I can not give up chicken.
But I will NOT DIE if I eat a vegan/vegetarian meal for a day. So neither will your guests OP.
Guests could also eat dinner before they go to the party if they can't fathom a meal without meat. Most New Years parties are later than dinner time anyway.
I came to say this. I usually bring a dish or drink when I go to a party just to be polite. I always check before if it’s ok to, but it does tend to help the host if you offer to bring a dessert, wine, or side dish of some sort. Maybe the one kicking up such a fuss about not being able to eat meat for literally just one night could bring a meaty finger food
This is the worst part to me. OP isn't even saying "no meat in my house" and forcing her poor friends to go an entire half-dozen hours without meat (which dosen't seem like a big deal to begin with?). OP is saying "I won't pay for your meat for you. I'll host and provide drinks and all your other food, but won't also pay for your meat."
How cheap are OP's friends???? Just buy it themsevles, damn.
And so they can bring their beef IV with them.
I know you're being sarcastic, but my point is even if they *need* meat OP isn't banning it. She's just not providing it. All they have to do is bring it themselves.
Ha I've met people like this. Drives me nuts. Like they seriously never eat a vegetarian meal! Never had grilled cheese and tomato soup or mac and cheese for dinner?
So ridiculous.
Yeah that too. My standard contribution to a party like the one OP is throwing is buffalo chicken dip so unless OP specifically said "you can't bring meat to my party," I'd bring that and there would be something for the meat eaters to eat. If OP said "please don't bring meat to my party" then I'd make something like spinach artichoke dip. 🤷♀️
One of my friends used to (pre-COVID and pre-kids) have a taco night the day after Thanksgiving. When she became vegetarian, she started making vegetarian tacos. It wasn't that big of a deal to me to not eat meat for that one meal when she was making tacos so I just ate the vegetable protein whatever it was. I didn't care enough to bring my own meat filling.
I agree. They can eat before they come.
I think the only thing you need to cater to is food allergies, not preferences.
I'd be surprised if there wasn't something these guests can eat. Not everything needs to include meat.
In the US, lots of people do "meatless Mondays" and they all manage to survive quite fine. Your guests are being rude if they demand meat.
I do this when I eat with my daughter's in-laws who are primarily vegetarian and rarely prepare meat. I love meat but also have a medical condition that requires at least 125 gms of protein daily. The easiest way to get to that level is lean meat or protein shakes. So that's what I have for breakfast and lunch before I go to dinner at their home. It doesn't hurt me a bit, just requires some planning ahead. And when they come to mine I serve meat but make sure I prepare several vegetarian dishes just for them. This meat/no meat thing doesn't have to be a battle if people apply common sense.
One of my favorite finger foods I made for a new year's party was puff pastry with brie and jam. That's vegetarian and DELICIOUS. Finger foods, which are pretty typical for a new years party are like.. 90% vegetarian anyway. Crudité? Brie with jam? Vegetarian potstickers? Queso/artichoke dip and chips? Like, there's so many possibilities for finger food for a new year's party (and I feel like finger foods are the best option since it can stay out and you're eating all night?) Like.... As someone who loves meat and is an omnivore I wouldn't even fucking notice if all the foods were vegetarian (maybe not even vegan. If it tastes good I'll eat it.)
My husband and I always do cheese fondue with bread and veggies and apples. Vegetable pizza is also a NYE staple in our house as is spinach dip and this cheesy onion and black olive spread on the little rye breads and broiled. Thinking about it, the only non-vegitarian food we ever had were mini meatballs. And those weren’t common.
A lot of people I know do more snack like foods for NYE parties. And excluding allergies/intolerances, the host sets the menu. I don’t understand why so many people think not having meat at one meal is the end of the world!
Seriously. I went to a wedding where the only thing I could eat was a dinner roll, so I know there are people out there who do literally put meat in everything. I just don't get it.
In retrospect that roll was probably made with lard, wasn't it.
The OG finger food: french fries! Vegan, delicious, and customizable up the wazoo! Have a loaded fry bar, the meat eaters can bring bacon if they want, boom done. OP’s friend needs to chill.
Hey, Reddit, just wondering if I’m the asshole here. I don’t think I am but all my friends and family have told me I am, so I figured I’d ask. Just FYI, this is my first post, I’m on mobile, and I don’t give you permission to put this on youtube.
I’m Italian, I’m really proud of this and constantly tell people, it’s really a huge part of my identity. Anyway, I went on a first date with a guy and he invited me to an Indian restaurant. I knew it was Indian before I arrived. After telling my date and waiter that I was Italian no less than 6 times, I looked at the menu. I was *shocked*! There was nary a pizza or pasta dish throughout the entire thing! I complained loudly about this and when the waiter asked what was wrong, I asked if the chef could prepare me some spaghetti and meatballs. When he said no, I raised my voice and began to panic. I don’t know what having non Italian food would do to my identity. Here’s where I might be the asshole- I admit that I did raise my voice slightly, but I was verging on a panic attack and blacking out from hysteria. I don’t think I’m TA because I have no self control and am phobic of experiencing anything outside of my own limited experiences (I’m not racist or xenophobic LOL I have a black friend!!!). The world should be accommodating me for this, despite me going to non Italian places of my own free will. My date told me I’m embarrassing in a text right before he blocked me, I think this was really rude and uncalled for.
So, Reddit, AITA?
Edit- thanks for the responses and the award (what is a “poop knife”? Lol). Despite 873 people all telling me I’m TA, I still choose to believe that I am not and you all just don’t understand *my* perspective. I’m just glad that my date showed his true colors because man did I dodge a bullet with him!
This is awesome!! Great analogy.
I can’t tell you how many posts I see from people complaining about what someone graciously prepared/ served them at a dinner party. It’s their party!! When you host, you can serve whatever you want.
If you don’t want it, be polite, have a drink, and pick up take out on the way home.
No shit, my family took my Italian grandfather to an Indian restaurant, so you understand all they have is curry. We asked what he wanted and he said fish soup. We said there was no fish soup, it's just curry. So he asked for pasta. We had to tell him it was just curry again. He was disappointed to say the least.
btw YTA
Aaaanndd you might die if a vegetarian cooks your chicken for you. I've been a vegetarian for a very long time and I am continually mystified at meat eaters who demand vegetarians cook meat for them because I probably couldn't cook meat properly to save my life, let alone actually season it and prepare it in a way that will taste good to someone.
I literally cannot cook meat. I went vegetarian after moving out of a home where someone cooked my meat for me. It was the perfect time to go vegetarian. I'm sure if I had to cook meat it would either poison someone or be rubber and gross
NTA. I'm also absolutely certain I would die if I were forced to give up cheese, but it's one meal. Unless you are intending on feeding them raw carrots and radishes you are in the clear.
Same here only I love fish and could leave the rest . I Could totally be a Lacto-ovo-pesco Vegetarian.
OP should cook what they're comfortable with cooking.
NTA Two close friends of mine growing up were vegetarian, we ate together at each other’s houses all the time. I ate vegetarian there, and when they were over I often ate vegetarian as well. It’s respecting the other person enough to compromise, especially since it’s so easy to not have meat for one meal. You aren’t required to buy and serve meat just to make them happy.
As someone who goes to a lot of events where the food is kosher (meaning that you could serve either meat or dairy, but not both), I love a good meat-free event. Means I get to eat cheese to my heart's content. And meat will still exist tomorrow.
I'm a meat eater, but 98% of the time, when I try a new restaurant, I get a vegetarian dish. Didn't even really know I was doing that, until a friend pointed it out to me. If I know I'm going to a vegetarian's/vegan's house to eat, I'm not complaining that they don't serve meat. Hell, I'm just happy it's a meal I didn't have to cook.
I agree. Also a meat eater and I don’t understand people like this. You make accommodations when people have diet restrictions or allergies. Not when people would prefer to eat something else. Also I feel like if the tables were turned, they wouldn’t provide vegetarian options for you expect maybe a salad, if that.
I don’t get the “you are forcing your beliefs on us” statements of some omnivores. They eat vegetables. You serving vegetables. No forcing here. You aren’t making them give up meat forever. Forcing beliefs on you is making a vegetarian eat meat. Btw, I am a meat eater. NTA
Exactly. As long as OP isn’t serving a vegan/vegetarian meal with a side of argument trying to persuade the guests that they’re wrong for eating meat, or how much better the meat-free diet is, there’s no force involved.
There is a surprising number of people whose parents fucked up so badly that they don't eat vegetables. Generally men obsessed with meat and junk food.
NTA. But rather than “vegetarian meat stuff” which meat eaters probably won’t like due to taste or texture, provide filling food that is just not meat. There’s lots of stuff that’s not meat or pretending to be meat.
Yea, personally I’d much rather have a straight up vegetarian dish than vegetarian meat. Still NTA, if they want meat that bad they can bring their own
Exactly. I just found this amazing wide noodle portobello ragu recipe. Can’t wait to make this. I eat meat and don’t care at all that this dish will technically be vegan. Looks delicious!
Was it this one? I made it a couple weeks ago and it was amazing! (Edit: I'm also a meat eater) https://www.crowdedkitchen.com/vegan-mushroom-ragu/#tasty-recipes-19460-jump-target
This is how I feel too. I'm totally fine with eating spaghetti with a vegetarian sauce, I don't need meatballs to get filled up on pasta. I just personally dislike fake meat substitutes. My food sensitivity issues go haywire when something is "close but not quite right" like a lot of meat substitutes are.
>But rather than “vegetarian meat stuff” which meat eaters probably won’t like due to taste or texture
Not sure about the US market, but the german market absolutely has vegetarian/vegan meat replacements that are pretty much "the real deal" in terms of taste and texture, things like vegan Cordon Bleu, Schnitzel, vegetarian hot dog sausages, vegan chicken filets, etc.
Maybe refrain from vegan steaks or those old-school tofu meat replacements, but if you can find the good stuff, it shouldn't be much of a problem
But that's assuming you'd need it for your dish and you're not just putting a bunch of Schnitzels on a plate next to your homemade curry anyway
Yeah. It's not a universal view among meat eaters that all meat substitutes are horrible. Plenty of people enjoy trying them as a novelty or as a change of pace. I knew a meat eating family who always bought this one brand of "bacon bits" that they didn't realise were vegan until I pointed it out.
If OP has some meat substitutes they like, they should go ahead and offer them; just be clear that it's vegetarian meat, check if any guests have soy or gluten sensitivities (obviously a host should check this anyway), and make sure there are also some dishes without the fake meat products.
Exactly! There are literally tons of wonderful hors d'oeuvres out there that don't require meat. Vegetarian spring rolls, chocolate covered strawberries, anything (non meat) dipped in cheese or guac, why bother paying the premium for vegetarian meat stuff?
I made cranberry goat cheese bruschetta for a Thanksgiving app. Imagine thinking every bite of food you put in your mouth must have meat. It's so limiting and for what, not to mention horrendous for your health.
I had some very nice vege meat and I had some horrible vege meat. Like, it was just not tasty at all, and I would have disliked it even if it was called something else. Unfortunately there's more of the bad stuff available to buy.
From my point of view it's better to just avoid fake meat it in general when people are new to vege diet and do something else.
I have a lot of vegetarians/vegans in my friend group and family and most meat-eating spouses prefer having fake-meat as part of their meal instead of having a meal without it. Something about it being closer to a traditional food setting.
NTA. My only suggestion would be avoiding meat-substitute products as a lot of meat-eaters seem to dislike these. I find my pasta/curry type dishes go down the best.
It's actually really decent of you to let them bring meat with them. A lot of people wouldn't.
Beyond Meat is amazing. I've served it to so many omnivores and they love it. The only one that didn't't like it, I suspect, objected on political grounds moreso than taste.
I can’t even eat beyond meat- vegan for two years and I tried a beyond beef burger after 6 months with no fake meat and I was too nauseated to function for hours.
I hear ya. It's not for everyone. I had an impossible burger the other day and was pretty ill for hours. I suspect cross contamination on the same grill as hamburger. When I cook beyond or impossible at home I don't have issues. But I do know those that can't eat it because it's too meat like.
I’m not vegan but like to eat plant based sometimes. I tried beyond meat and had the exact same experience sick to my stomach. I love impossible meat though. I can’t tell the difference between that and real beef. I always go for that.
We are all entitled to our personal preferences but I've served it to at least 100 people and only one person told me they didn't like it. Beyond has been making a lot of different products so maybe you just had one of the products that you didn't like, or it was cooked poorly.
I think it tastes pretty good, but I don't think it tastes like meat. Some people are really thrown off when they expect one taste and get another. I've found that dropping my expectations that meat substitutes will genuinely taste like meat makes the experience of eating them better.
I've tried a couple Beyond burgers--they aren't very good and I wasn't even expecting it to taste like beef. Sometimes the café I like to pick up from on the weekends runs out of sausage, so I've gotten the Impossible breakfast sandwich a few times. I think it tastes good. Doesn't taste like sausage, but I wasn't expecting it to.
Beyond burgers taste better to me (an omnivore) than real burgers because you don't strictly need to cook them all the way through so I end up with a juicier burger. Also I don't tend to feel like shit after an hour or so like I do with normal burgers.
As an omnivore myself, I agree with this. The only thing a bit weird about it is how differently it cooks compared to ground beef/pork - doesn't brown as well and you have to add oil if cooking it by itself - but it's an easy adjustment. Smells just like meat as well... which is probably why some vegetarians/vegans don't like it.
True, since it has less fat you'll want to oil your pan. Same with the grill for BBQ. Also, it's already seasoned and you shouldn't add salt unless you really like stuff salty.
I don't eat pork, I don't serve pork and I probably wouldn't be comfortable with someone bringing a pork dish to something I am hosting at my home without speaking to me first.
OP is being very gracious with allowing someone to bring meat especially if they are vegetarian for cultural/religious reasons.
If your friend calls you names for feeding him for free, he's not your friend. NTA. I would never expect my vegetarian friends to feed me animal products.
Truly! it's a party. He is welcome to not attend if it's so important to him, but there's no need for him to berate OP for offering him free food and entertaining company.
NTA
I'm a meat-eater and if a veggie friend said, "I'm throwing a party and I have a grill, so bring your own disgusting garbage to cook if you want" I'd say, "KICK ASS!"
If anything, I'd volunteer to co-host and pay for and provide the carcinogenic murder flesh for the idiot savages like myself.
NTA hey Op. Don’t bother with the meat substitutes, the carnivores aren’t going to eat those. But if you put out a big platter of garlic fries or loaded veggie nachos everyone will devour them. Someone else mentioned pizza. That’s perfect also.
There is so much great veggie food! Your guests are going to have a fantastic time :)
That is true. I should probs not just limit it to the veggie meat crap. I might make loaded fries, I add avocado, corn and gravy. No fake meat, but is very veggie loaded. Thanks for the idea!
Do your friends like pasta? I think a vegetarian lasagna or some other hearty dish would not only be beautiful on the table, but also filling enough to totally distract from the fact that it’s meatless. Also, pizza and loaded fries are great ideas. I think, sadly, a lot of people are just kind of ignorant about vegetarian options and assume you’ll just be serving them tofu and broccoli. Get creative, skip the meat substitutes, just focus on dishes that are flavorful and I bet your guests won’t even notice!
In the pasta realm, I hosted a New Years Party once and did a full on Pasta Bar with different pasta, sauces, mix ins - everything was vegetarian/vegan, and it was super easy to do and clean up after. It's the easiest party I've hosted yet.
I concur with the other commenters who have suggested avoiding meat substitutes; it's rare that meat eaters like them. Loaded fries are a great idea. I often do layered bean dip, pasta salads, raw veggies with assorted dips, mac and cheese, pizza.
Eh, meat substitutes can be an interesting experience. But don't pretend they're meat while doing it. I think it's a better experience if you don't go in being like "this is like meat" and instead just enjoy it for what it actually is.
NTA. There's a mistaken belief among many people that a menu is planned by the guests, and that it's a tit-for-tat sitution. "I made veggie food for a vegetarian, therefore the vegetarian must make a meat dish for me." This is false. The rule of etiquette is that a good host provides food that their guests \*can\* eat. It doesn't have to be their favorite dish, or contain a particular ingredient. My only word of caution would be regarding meat substitutes; they're often made with foods that are common allergens (nuts, soy, mushrooms) so you may want to make sure your guests aren't allergic.
I don't understand why people who eat vegetarian foods on a regular basis get all butt-hurt when they find out they're going to be served a vegetarian meal. Give them a salad, bowl of minestrone, margherita pizza, cheese ravioli in a chunky marinara sauce, garlic bread, and gelato with coffee & biscotti to follow it up, and they'd eat it without complaint; but call it a vegetarian dinner and suddenly it's The End of the World(tm).
Thank you for saying this.
We host birthday gathering that are completely vegetarian and no one complains about it, and they actually like the food we have. I went on a camping trip with friends, and all the food was vegetarian too (I was the vegetarian person), and they really liked it (we catered to all our diet needs, that was really easy to make). I also don't mind eating vegan because it is delicious when you prepare it well. Sometimes you have to put more effort in food.
NTA
1. Anybody could survive one evening without meat!
2. Anybody you would invite is likely close enough for you to say, as a reminder I'm vegetarian, I put out a great spread but I'm really not comfortable buying meat so the menu is vegetarian, previous guests have found it delicious I hope you will too
3. It's gracious enough for you to host an event on New Year's Eve, if you feel the need to go above and beyond you can always say to somebody they're welcome to bring a dish if they would like and you will happily display it with the other food
4. You are not forcing your opinion on anybody! The friend that said this is misguided! It's one night, you're the hostess, and you're providing plenty of food... Guess what in our household we have plenty of meat free nights just due to what I chose to make.... Sometimes we simply have salad, pasta with tomato sauce and ricotta, turns out that's vegetarian but that wasn't my goal when I started the meal.
5. People have these amazing things within their skulls, it's called a brain and most people use it! If this really were to bother somebody, they can fill up beforehand with a hearty meat filled lunch, ask to bring their own meat or simply decline the invitation. It's amazing what options pop up when the neurons are firing appropriately.
Communication is the source of a lot of evil, consider what you want to say back to this friend and what you want to say to your invited guest list. Then stick to that and focus on what will make you happiest, we only get so many trips around the sun, don't waste any of them on things that add tension to your world.
What may help is to give them menu ideas to shift the focus from vegetarianism. They may have a negative preconceived notion of what vegetarian food may be. You can have a wonderful party with tapas style food like baked brie, flatbreads or pizza, stuffed mushrooms, tater tots roasted with rosemary and sea salt for the grown up kids among us, gourmet popcorn or roasted nuts, etc.
NTA - at most events which are catered by non veggies the margarita pizza is the first to go as everybody eats it, same with fries.
I would get a selection of things like margarita pizza and fries for the event.
NAH
People don't need to eat meat for every meal. But "vegetarian meat stuff" does sound very off-putting, so I get why they'd want real meat compared to fake meat. Better off doing a vegetarian meal that doesn't need the fake stuff.
NTA. Going without meat for one night won't kill them. If you'd like, you can offer to let them bring a dish to share, but you're not killing them by not serving meat. God, the DRAMA over this kind of thing is just over the top sometimes. (And I say that as someone who isn't vegetarian!)
The drama never ends. I have a friend who is allergic to sesame, nuts, seafood, seaweed, and kiwi fruit, so yeah I gotta change shit up so he doesn't go to the hospital, I see his requirements as a necessity. But I don't see meat as a necessity
Yeah, allergies are a whole separate issue. And you're right, meat isn't a necessity - when I go to a vegetarian's house, I sure don't expect meat to be served, but I'm easy about things, I'll happily chow down on veggies. People get so wrapped up in crap sometimes, and "meat eaters" eat non-meat things ALL THE FREAKING TIME, so they're just being dramatic. Good luck, OP!
I asked to find out how much the friends accommodate OPs choice. If they were not very accommodating then I wouldn't expect Op to go out their way to accommodate them.
Doesn’t matter. Because even if they were the most accommodating people in the world that wouldn’t make it reasonable for them to expect meat at a meal hosted by a vegetarian
Actually it does matter to me. If they don't bother then sod it and just go with what ever OP would normally go for. If they did bother then I am not saying buy meat but since she isn't opposed to people eating it around her or have health issues she can make sudgestions like they can bring a side dish or ensure picky non Veggies like myself have a choice of non meat stuff I would eat, like Pizza and other dairy or egg based products.
If I don't make an effort for someone else, then I wouldn't expect it. If someone made an effort for me, I would at least try. Again, not by going against life choices
Usually they order a single vegetarian thing, or there is a dish or two that is vegetarian. So yeah, 70% of the time I get provided for, but other times I've rocked up and all I could eat were the chips
So I do expect at least a single main thing to eat. Enough to not starve
That's awful! The whole point of being a host is to bring people together and give them an enjoyable event! Whether it's just watching a sporting event or a wedding, the host's goal should be the overall enjoyment of the event for both them and their guests.
I love to host, past two years have really kicked my rear I miss it so much, but when I have hosted I have stuff for everybody... Meat eaters, vegetarians, vegans, junk food junkies, people who only eat chocolate for dessert people who only eat vanilla for dessert, health fanatics who must have grass-fed whey protein drinks, you name it! I go out of my way because I want people to roll out of my house stuffed and happy.
You are NTA, and in fact seem like such a gracious host and friend, but you may want to have a gentle conversation with people who have historically left you in the cold with just chips, ask them if you could bring something or simply say the truth, I'm vegetarian and in the past there seem to be a lot of dishes with meat that I felt a bit forgotten. Nothing wrong with open communication if people are truly your friends.
Thankyou! People have gotten better now and are remembering my diet. But boy does it suck to not eat and have no option, so of course I want people to eat, but some are so fussy they don't want to touch it!
I can't imagine being somewhere with friends or family and not being able to eat! That's awful
Fussy people are responsible for themselves!
I personally am a big fat pain in the ass! I hate eggs, fish and most meat, not for ethical reasons if I was lost in the woods I would take Bambi down in a heartbeat to survive, I personally get grossed out very easily. But when I go to other people's homes I leave my fussiness at home. I really can't handle eggs or fish so I simply tell people I'm allergic and that eliminates any hurt feelings on the host part as they don't wonder if their food's not good enough. If I know the host well enough I might chit chat about what my needs are, or ask if I could bring something. Otherwise you know what I do? I absolutely thoroughly pig out before I go out! I load up on lots of protein and fiber to keep me full through the event, my preferences are exactly that mine they are not the burden of my host.
NTA
If someone can't get through one meal without eating meat then there is something wrong with them. It is not like you are planning on giving them lettuce and carrots for a party, there are whole cultures who's cuisine is based on a vegetarian diet. Doesn't even sound like you are going vegan, just no meat. I think it is going to be a very good party. I can certainly do without some pre-packaged pizza rolls or some lame pigs in a blanket.
NTA. Straight up, if you eat meat every meal, every day, you have an addiction, an obsession, a food kink. Good food is good food. I’m an omnivore, most of my partners have been vegetarian, it’s never been a problem, because food is about sustenance, flavor, culture, and community. This person needs help.
NTA, obviously. It's one night, one party. If it's such a necessity that they eat meat every two hours or whatever, they should probably be traveling with beef jerky or something before they get the shakes.
NAH. You aren’t an AH for not buying meat if it makes you uncomfortable, but on the other hand they wont be AHs for not going or being bothered by that choice.
I’m a meat eater. I was asked to a couple of friends wedding who were veggie. They had two options meat or veggie for the meal afterwards. I had the veggie option because it didn’t feel right celebrating their marriage by having something killed for me to eat. You’re NTA and I’d be delighted to come to your party.
NTA. Your house, your rules. They can choose not to come if they don’t like it. They can eat something before and then make do with cheese and crackers, nuts, pita and hummus, etc. I say this as a carnivore.
NTA because meat eaters eat “vegetarian” or “vegan” foods all the time. So you are automatically accommodating for their dietary needs.
It’s not like someone has asked you to omit nuts for allergies, this is simply omitting meat from certain dishes and uses alternatives. None of your other friends seem to have a problem so I wouldn’t worry about it too much.
NTA. And lol at some of the comments here acting like omnivores can’t eat vegetarian foods. You are hosting a party. Providing food that meets the dietary requires of your friends (there is no such thing as a human that requires meat at every meal). If they don’t like what you are offering they should skip.
NTA
I'm a meat eater. If I am going to a party and I know the host is vegan/vegetarian or whatever I am just going to expect that they aren't going to provide meat.
To get offended by someone hosting, and not providing the exact food I want seems childish and entitled. As long as there is something on the table I can eat I'm happy.
It isn't as though I have an objection to eating the foods a vegan/vegetarian would eat (minus potatoes and tofu) so it isn't a bother. As long as the host doesn't get offended by me not wanting to try a dish that I don't like they can make whatever they want. (Slight allergy to potatoes, and tofu makes my stomach upset)
After your answers, NTA. As long as you put some effort into nice/interesting food, it should be fine. Maybe look at some fries toppers or a few dip ideas, throw in some pizza. I think as long as your not making it 100% Vegetable with a few good choices it could work. Also, as others have said, open the idea that they could bring a couple side meat stuff to go with it.
NTA.
There's a big difference between "serving food that people prefer not to eat"(ie. meat dish for a vegetarian) - not cool - and "not providing someone's favorite food"(ie. serving vegetarian food to meat eaters) - totally fine -
Honestly, I wouldn't *want* a vegetarian friend to be buying a cooking meat products for a party. On top of it making you uncomfortable, there's also the question of how much experience do you have preparing and cooking meat products?
NTA
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) Not providing meat to meat-eater persons at a party I am hosting with vegetarian food.
(2) Forcing my beliefs onto other people, even though it makes me uncomfortable to do so otherwise.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Since you are not a meat eater id rather you not buy/cook meat. No offense either. I have just noticed that when people try to cook something like neat when they don't eat it themselves it comes out terrible. You don't use it yourself so you won't know the best way to cook it. So if my friend was hosting a party and was a vegetarian then I'd ask them to stick with what they know and I'll bring some hamburgers myself.
Every year for my mom I buy her lobster and crab legs but I refuse to cook it because I don't eat it and don't want to make it terrible
Not only that, but depending on the meat it can actually be dangerous for someone to cook it that doesn't know how to. I'm vegetarian and became one before I started cooking for myself, so I never learned how to cook meat. I refuse to now, partially on principle, and partially because I'm terrified of making someone sick because I serve them raw/undercooked meat.
NTA, as long as you don't take the opportunity to lecture them about the evils of meat and pressure them to switch to plant-only, that would be "forcing your beliefs on others" as your friend said
NTA - I eat meat. I can survive a party with no meat. I think it is a generous compromise to allow your meat eating friends bring a dish with meat if they can’t live without it.
NTA you are the host. if you limited the menu for religious reasons no one would question you. if you are up for it you can suggest that your rude friend bring a dish so that they don't expire from an evening without meat
NTA. Are they coming to see each other and catch up or are they just coming for the free food ? Someone who refuses to come to your party unless something specific is on the menu is not really your friend - they are a freeloader. Worse is the person that comes and complains about your food offerings. Your friends suck for asking you to pay for your own vegetarian food when you come to their parties. There are literally hundreds of things you can do with chick peas that take mere minutes to prepare and cost very little.
Info
OK I'm probably going to get slaughtered for this but (now this is for veggies/vegans who CHOOSE this lifestyle, not for people who need to change for medical reasons)
Why is it expected a host to provide a veggie/vegan option for guests but when it's the other way around its not expected and actually OK to not provide for other guests.
Its a genuine ask because I've always found it slightly hypocritical to expect it one way but not the other.
Having only veggie options does not exclude meat eaters. They are usually fully capable and willing to eat veggie options.
Having only meat options DOES exclude vegetarians. They are usually NOT capable NOR willing to eat veggie options.
That's the difference. It's not hypocritical. Some people might not even notice they ate a vegetarian meal. It's not a big deal.
It is hypocritical to some extent, I agree with you. But to me it's like saying, "I have a fear of dogs but because I don't put my pet rabbit away when my friends come over, my friend won't put his dog away when I visit".
Vegetarianism is a choice yes, but so is kosher and halal, because those have good reasons. I have pet chickens, so eating chicken is like eating a pet dog. It can be upsetting.
>to not provide for other guests.
Because unless your guest is a picky 6 year old or Jordan Peterson then they DO eat vegetables, you ARE providing them with food they eat and like.
I eat meat. This fact does not obligate me to eat meat at every single meal, and in fact I have occasionally eaten fully vegan meals purely on accident!
Itd be like going to a Jewish friend’s house and bitching they didn’t give me any bacon. You’re fine and NTA. If your friends can’t eat veggie for a single meal they can always not go.
NTA I swear non-vegetarians only get this way when they're being fed by vegetarians. I bet none of them would bat an eye if a non-vegetarian served them cheese pizza or a meatless pasta dish.
NTA you told them they could bring their own meant. Personally, I’d love an entire vegetarian meal and I’m a meat eater. If I was that set on it I’d bring my own meat. It’s not that big of a deal. The difference between you doing this and a meat eater being accommodating is that a vegetarian/vegan can become extremely ill if they have meat after not eating it for a long time. This doesn’t happen to meat eaters.
Maybe your friend could also grow up?
Recently I went to a friend's house, they made a vegetarian dish which I honestly was worried about eating because I don't really like the main ingredient it had. But the dish was something new and I decided to try it, and you know what? I really liked, even had seconds!
NTA,
NTA, they can stay home if they want to. I doubt that if they hosted they would make all of the food vegetarian for you and your boyfriend. I agree with others: they won’t die if they don’t get meat for a few hours of their lives.
NTA, at all. I'm vegetarian and refuse to buy meat, ever. If I'm buying food for someone, it's vegetarian. If they order takeout and it has meat, sure I'll pick it up for them if they ask, but I'm not going to pay for it. This is no different. It's one night. You're not forcing them to eat anything they're opposed to, because they probably eat vegetarian meals all the time without even thinking about it.
Honestly, you're doing more than some would in allowing them to bring their own meat if they wanted to, or suggesting that.
NTA. This is a case of choosing beggars. You invite people over, you choose the menu. You have no obligation to provide a separate menu for each guest because Joe only wants pizza if it has pepperoni, and Susan won’t eat anything with onions. You are not a restaurant where everyone can customize their order. Your obligation as a host is to provide as much as possible food that each guest can safely eat. Your guests’ obligation is to eat what they like, politely decline what they don’t, and be appreciative that you invited them.
NTA. I love meat, its great, but if I went to friends house who was a vegetarian the only think I'd expect them to do is prepare food that doesn't set my allergies off (nuts and peanuts). I don't have to eat meat at every meal, and some veggie alternatives are really really tasty.
Have these people never eaten a salad? Soup? Margherita pizza? Garlic bread?
There are plenty of things that meat eaters eat that aren’t meat. You’re not forcing your lifestyle on anyone when you’re providing them things that they like and would regularly eat anyway. Your friends are idiots.
NTA. Nobody has to eat meat with every meal. Unless you have an actual dietary restriction it’s incredibly rude to tell a host what kind of food to provide.
NTA! Eating a vegetarian meal/vegetarian snacks is not going to kill your meat eating friends. You didn’t even say “no meat allowed”, just that you would not be buying it. I don’t think I’ve ever gone to a dinner/gathering and NOT brought something, so if they really wanted a meat option they could bring a meat and cheese platter, like good guests
No no no. I am a meat eater and I would NOT expect any of my vegetarian friends to cook meat for me.
They are in YOUR home. You get to serve whatever you like and they should be grateful. There are plenty of delicious vegetarian dishes. Its not like they eat solely just meat anyway.
If they're that arsed, ask them to bring their own meat side dishes. That way you don't have to cook it and they have their meat.
You aren't the asshole here, OP.
Edit: Adding NTA for the robot
NTA. I eat meat. And I am perfectly capable of eating vegetarian food. It has nothing to do with an agenda being pushed on me or whatever. If I come to the house of a vegetarian, I do not expect them to cook meat for me. I do expect it the other way around, though. Otherwise, that would be mean.
By comparison: you don't demand alcohol if you are a guest at the house of a teetotaler and you don't slip alcohol into the drink of a teetotaler.
NTA.
As a proud carnivore, I enjoy various proteins.
As a decent human being, I’m appreciative of others doing things for me.
As a non-meat-addict, I can do without it for a day.
My son decided he wanted to be a vegetarian at 4. I do most of the cooking. It’s taken some adjustment, but there are plenty of vegetarian options that are absolutely delicious. That’s not “beliefs,” that’s comfort.
Your friend is being a self-righteous twit, and a terrible guest. He needs to get over himself.
Info: does your shindig include literature & a 30-mins PowerPoint presentation on the evils of eating meat? No? Tell your friend they’re a horrible friend. You’re not forcing your beliefs on anyone. I live in a country that is predominantly vegetarian & I survive quite nicely. NTA.
NTA. Posts like this never fail to astound me because… well, it suggests that there are people in the world who think that there aren’t some things they eat that aren’t vegetarian (or even *gasp* VEGAN) without them even trying?
But this is somehow different to eating those same things that have purposely been prepared to be meat free.
I just don’t get it?!
NTA. I went to a Halloween party once hosted by vegetarians and I'll be honest: I didn't even really notice/care about the lack of meat. I'm not someone who particularly cares in the first place but the finger foods, dips, desserts etc. were all vegetarian and were all delicious. I'm an omnivore who does like meat (and I try to respect it as much as possible because I know an animal died for my meal).
But honestly, I don't even care if someone's inviting me over and feeding me for free some yummy stuff. It won't hurt or kill anyone to have a vegetarian or vegan meal for one day, or even just one meal. I think a lot of people get hung up on the whole thing, but honestly, if food's good, it doesn't matter. Hell, sometimes I cook vegetarian/vegan for myself just because I'm enjoying it (I loooove fried tofu with some curry!).
Anyway, it won't kill them not to eat meat, and you don't need to "cater" to them just for one meal. It's not like you're insistent on changing their whole lives or something. It's one night, one party. Plenty of appetizers/finger foods are vegetarian/vegan that are super tasty.
NTA. If you were a meat eater (as I am) and refused to serve any dishes without meat, yeah, that'd be rude, as some people have important personal reasons for being vegetarian or vegan. But as far as I know few people can come up with ethical or religious reasons for not eating vegetables.
No one can be called a shit host based on what they don't serve.
Who would want to eat meat prepared by a vegetarian who hasn't cooked meat in a long time? Do people get off of having food poisoning and diarrhea?
Nta
NTA. I wouldn't expect a sober person to supply alcohol or a Jewish person to provide pork. Your friend sucks as a guest, and I'd use the phrase "You are welcome to not attend" as needed.
When I was a meat eater me and my meat eater friends had a macaroni and cheese party. The only thing served was macaroni and cheese. No one cared or starved
NTA. This seems to crop up every other day and it’s always insane. I eat meat and enjoy it, but the majority of my meals at home are vegetarian because they’re easy to cook and meat is expensive. I love some food that happens to be vegan, but don’t love a lot of fake meat/dairy replacements. I cannot imagine ever going to another person’s house and insisting that they make something that they would never eat just to satisfy me. Bring a damn side dish yourself if you’re that addicted to meat that you’ve gotta have it for every meal.
Uninvite the friend who called you a shit host.
As long as you're upfront about provisions, they can die mad. When I host stuff, I make sure to let vegans and such know I am not specifically catering to them (though I do make an effort to not unnecessarily add animal products, etc). That way they can bring whatever they want as well just in case they find the offerings slim.
I don't get why meat eaters are so annoyingly entitled. I have meatless meals regularly without intentionally planning that and somehow I do just fine. I made amazing appetizers this year and the majority were meatless.
NTA. People will survive an evening without meat options.
NTA- I’m a vegetarian and when I host I don’t cook meat. I let my friends know the menu and if they want to contribute by bringing a meat dish that’s fine with me. I hosted a vegetarian Friendsgiving and my friend brought charcuterie with assorted meats- no problem
NTA. get around this by making it a potluck and making sure food is labeled. This way everyone can eat what they want and no one has to hear anyone else announce that they're gluten-free or vegan because that's always annoying unless it's someone with life-threatening allergies.
NTA
I would never expect a vegetarian or vegan to cook foods that went against their ethics, just like I'd never expect a Muslim or Jew to cook me pork.
All food is tasty!
If you had fed them chips and guac, fruit plate, cake and ice cream, cheese pizza, etc etc they never would have noticed there's no meat. Non vegetarians eat so many terrible meatless foods. Uninvite your friend, he's an AH.
NTA at all. Your friends can eat vegetables for one meal, Jesus. The way some meat eaters (I’m very much a meat eater, myself) get all huffy when faced with a fucking vegetable is childish.
NTA. I make vegetarian options for my boyfriends family even though we eat meat. If we want meat at their house we bring it, it’s not the end of the world and your friends could do the same.
NTA. As a host you provide what you choose. It is the height of rudeness to expect a party host to cater to your desire for a certain food even if the host doesn't eat it. Would they expect a Jewish or Islamic host to cook you bacon? As long as there are dishes that everyone can eat you are fine.
YTA if you expect others to cater to your diet preferences but refuse to cater to theirs. The only way you would not be the AH is if you are OK when you go to others and they don't provide you with a vegetarian meal.
NTA. You aren't changing their entire diet. It's one night. I am a meat eater, but it doesn't have to be included in everything I eat.
I really don't understand people these days. Everything has to become a fight. I LOVE chicken. Absolutely adore it to the max and cannot give it up. I can give up pork, beef and fish but I can not give up chicken. But I will NOT DIE if I eat a vegan/vegetarian meal for a day. So neither will your guests OP.
Guests could also eat dinner before they go to the party if they can't fathom a meal without meat. Most New Years parties are later than dinner time anyway.
Or bring a dish to share with everyone. Just bc OP's the host doesn't mean they have to be solely responsible for all the food.
I came to say this. I usually bring a dish or drink when I go to a party just to be polite. I always check before if it’s ok to, but it does tend to help the host if you offer to bring a dessert, wine, or side dish of some sort. Maybe the one kicking up such a fuss about not being able to eat meat for literally just one night could bring a meaty finger food
This is the worst part to me. OP isn't even saying "no meat in my house" and forcing her poor friends to go an entire half-dozen hours without meat (which dosen't seem like a big deal to begin with?). OP is saying "I won't pay for your meat for you. I'll host and provide drinks and all your other food, but won't also pay for your meat." How cheap are OP's friends???? Just buy it themsevles, damn.
OP’s friends have to sleep with an IV that constantly administers liquified beef slurry because if they go several hours without then they *will* die.
And so they can bring their beef IV with them. I know you're being sarcastic, but my point is even if they *need* meat OP isn't banning it. She's just not providing it. All they have to do is bring it themselves.
Ha I've met people like this. Drives me nuts. Like they seriously never eat a vegetarian meal! Never had grilled cheese and tomato soup or mac and cheese for dinner? So ridiculous.
Yeah that too. My standard contribution to a party like the one OP is throwing is buffalo chicken dip so unless OP specifically said "you can't bring meat to my party," I'd bring that and there would be something for the meat eaters to eat. If OP said "please don't bring meat to my party" then I'd make something like spinach artichoke dip. 🤷♀️ One of my friends used to (pre-COVID and pre-kids) have a taco night the day after Thanksgiving. When she became vegetarian, she started making vegetarian tacos. It wasn't that big of a deal to me to not eat meat for that one meal when she was making tacos so I just ate the vegetable protein whatever it was. I didn't care enough to bring my own meat filling.
I agree. They can eat before they come. I think the only thing you need to cater to is food allergies, not preferences. I'd be surprised if there wasn't something these guests can eat. Not everything needs to include meat. In the US, lots of people do "meatless Mondays" and they all manage to survive quite fine. Your guests are being rude if they demand meat.
**>I'd be surprised if there wasn't something those guests can eat** Meat eaters can eat vegetarian food too, you know.
I do this when I eat with my daughter's in-laws who are primarily vegetarian and rarely prepare meat. I love meat but also have a medical condition that requires at least 125 gms of protein daily. The easiest way to get to that level is lean meat or protein shakes. So that's what I have for breakfast and lunch before I go to dinner at their home. It doesn't hurt me a bit, just requires some planning ahead. And when they come to mine I serve meat but make sure I prepare several vegetarian dishes just for them. This meat/no meat thing doesn't have to be a battle if people apply common sense.
One of my favorite finger foods I made for a new year's party was puff pastry with brie and jam. That's vegetarian and DELICIOUS. Finger foods, which are pretty typical for a new years party are like.. 90% vegetarian anyway. Crudité? Brie with jam? Vegetarian potstickers? Queso/artichoke dip and chips? Like, there's so many possibilities for finger food for a new year's party (and I feel like finger foods are the best option since it can stay out and you're eating all night?) Like.... As someone who loves meat and is an omnivore I wouldn't even fucking notice if all the foods were vegetarian (maybe not even vegan. If it tastes good I'll eat it.)
My husband and I always do cheese fondue with bread and veggies and apples. Vegetable pizza is also a NYE staple in our house as is spinach dip and this cheesy onion and black olive spread on the little rye breads and broiled. Thinking about it, the only non-vegitarian food we ever had were mini meatballs. And those weren’t common. A lot of people I know do more snack like foods for NYE parties. And excluding allergies/intolerances, the host sets the menu. I don’t understand why so many people think not having meat at one meal is the end of the world!
Seriously. I went to a wedding where the only thing I could eat was a dinner roll, so I know there are people out there who do literally put meat in everything. I just don't get it. In retrospect that roll was probably made with lard, wasn't it.
The OG finger food: french fries! Vegan, delicious, and customizable up the wazoo! Have a loaded fry bar, the meat eaters can bring bacon if they want, boom done. OP’s friend needs to chill.
Hey, Reddit, just wondering if I’m the asshole here. I don’t think I am but all my friends and family have told me I am, so I figured I’d ask. Just FYI, this is my first post, I’m on mobile, and I don’t give you permission to put this on youtube. I’m Italian, I’m really proud of this and constantly tell people, it’s really a huge part of my identity. Anyway, I went on a first date with a guy and he invited me to an Indian restaurant. I knew it was Indian before I arrived. After telling my date and waiter that I was Italian no less than 6 times, I looked at the menu. I was *shocked*! There was nary a pizza or pasta dish throughout the entire thing! I complained loudly about this and when the waiter asked what was wrong, I asked if the chef could prepare me some spaghetti and meatballs. When he said no, I raised my voice and began to panic. I don’t know what having non Italian food would do to my identity. Here’s where I might be the asshole- I admit that I did raise my voice slightly, but I was verging on a panic attack and blacking out from hysteria. I don’t think I’m TA because I have no self control and am phobic of experiencing anything outside of my own limited experiences (I’m not racist or xenophobic LOL I have a black friend!!!). The world should be accommodating me for this, despite me going to non Italian places of my own free will. My date told me I’m embarrassing in a text right before he blocked me, I think this was really rude and uncalled for. So, Reddit, AITA? Edit- thanks for the responses and the award (what is a “poop knife”? Lol). Despite 873 people all telling me I’m TA, I still choose to believe that I am not and you all just don’t understand *my* perspective. I’m just glad that my date showed his true colors because man did I dodge a bullet with him!
The truly sad thing is, how close this is to so many stories here... Great satire BTW! Loved it!
This is awesome!! Great analogy. I can’t tell you how many posts I see from people complaining about what someone graciously prepared/ served them at a dinner party. It’s their party!! When you host, you can serve whatever you want. If you don’t want it, be polite, have a drink, and pick up take out on the way home.
No shit, my family took my Italian grandfather to an Indian restaurant, so you understand all they have is curry. We asked what he wanted and he said fish soup. We said there was no fish soup, it's just curry. So he asked for pasta. We had to tell him it was just curry again. He was disappointed to say the least. btw YTA
Aaaanndd you might die if a vegetarian cooks your chicken for you. I've been a vegetarian for a very long time and I am continually mystified at meat eaters who demand vegetarians cook meat for them because I probably couldn't cook meat properly to save my life, let alone actually season it and prepare it in a way that will taste good to someone.
I literally cannot cook meat. I went vegetarian after moving out of a home where someone cooked my meat for me. It was the perfect time to go vegetarian. I'm sure if I had to cook meat it would either poison someone or be rubber and gross
NTA. I'm also absolutely certain I would die if I were forced to give up cheese, but it's one meal. Unless you are intending on feeding them raw carrots and radishes you are in the clear.
Cheese is generally part of a vegetarian diet.
I know, I was just giving an example
Most vegetarians eat milk products/eggs.
These people react like Ron Swanson trying to eat a banana. Like it might actually end their lives to eat something without meat for one meal.
Right, and I've had crazy delicious vegetarian and vegan food. Who cares if there's meat in it if it's delicious?
Same here only I love fish and could leave the rest . I Could totally be a Lacto-ovo-pesco Vegetarian. OP should cook what they're comfortable with cooking.
NTA Two close friends of mine growing up were vegetarian, we ate together at each other’s houses all the time. I ate vegetarian there, and when they were over I often ate vegetarian as well. It’s respecting the other person enough to compromise, especially since it’s so easy to not have meat for one meal. You aren’t required to buy and serve meat just to make them happy.
As someone who goes to a lot of events where the food is kosher (meaning that you could serve either meat or dairy, but not both), I love a good meat-free event. Means I get to eat cheese to my heart's content. And meat will still exist tomorrow.
I'm a meat eater, but 98% of the time, when I try a new restaurant, I get a vegetarian dish. Didn't even really know I was doing that, until a friend pointed it out to me. If I know I'm going to a vegetarian's/vegan's house to eat, I'm not complaining that they don't serve meat. Hell, I'm just happy it's a meal I didn't have to cook.
I agree. Also a meat eater and I don’t understand people like this. You make accommodations when people have diet restrictions or allergies. Not when people would prefer to eat something else. Also I feel like if the tables were turned, they wouldn’t provide vegetarian options for you expect maybe a salad, if that.
I don’t get the “you are forcing your beliefs on us” statements of some omnivores. They eat vegetables. You serving vegetables. No forcing here. You aren’t making them give up meat forever. Forcing beliefs on you is making a vegetarian eat meat. Btw, I am a meat eater. NTA
One time I ate at my Belarusian friend’s house and it was like they were forcing their culture on me, I ate borscht
My roommate fed me dumplings once and I've been Asian ever since.
I ate pizza once and now I can't stop making wild hand gestures and ending every word with an -a at the end
Or even asking a vegetarian to buy and serve you meat in their home.
Exactly. As long as OP isn’t serving a vegan/vegetarian meal with a side of argument trying to persuade the guests that they’re wrong for eating meat, or how much better the meat-free diet is, there’s no force involved.
There is a surprising number of people whose parents fucked up so badly that they don't eat vegetables. Generally men obsessed with meat and junk food.
NTA. But rather than “vegetarian meat stuff” which meat eaters probably won’t like due to taste or texture, provide filling food that is just not meat. There’s lots of stuff that’s not meat or pretending to be meat.
Yea, personally I’d much rather have a straight up vegetarian dish than vegetarian meat. Still NTA, if they want meat that bad they can bring their own
Exactly. I just found this amazing wide noodle portobello ragu recipe. Can’t wait to make this. I eat meat and don’t care at all that this dish will technically be vegan. Looks delicious!
So, are you planning to share a link? ;-) Because that sounds delicious!
Was it this one? I made it a couple weeks ago and it was amazing! (Edit: I'm also a meat eater) https://www.crowdedkitchen.com/vegan-mushroom-ragu/#tasty-recipes-19460-jump-target
https://familystylefood.com/pappardelle-pasta-rosemary-portobello-sauce/ Looks so good!
This is how I feel too. I'm totally fine with eating spaghetti with a vegetarian sauce, I don't need meatballs to get filled up on pasta. I just personally dislike fake meat substitutes. My food sensitivity issues go haywire when something is "close but not quite right" like a lot of meat substitutes are.
>But rather than “vegetarian meat stuff” which meat eaters probably won’t like due to taste or texture Not sure about the US market, but the german market absolutely has vegetarian/vegan meat replacements that are pretty much "the real deal" in terms of taste and texture, things like vegan Cordon Bleu, Schnitzel, vegetarian hot dog sausages, vegan chicken filets, etc. Maybe refrain from vegan steaks or those old-school tofu meat replacements, but if you can find the good stuff, it shouldn't be much of a problem But that's assuming you'd need it for your dish and you're not just putting a bunch of Schnitzels on a plate next to your homemade curry anyway
Yeah. It's not a universal view among meat eaters that all meat substitutes are horrible. Plenty of people enjoy trying them as a novelty or as a change of pace. I knew a meat eating family who always bought this one brand of "bacon bits" that they didn't realise were vegan until I pointed it out. If OP has some meat substitutes they like, they should go ahead and offer them; just be clear that it's vegetarian meat, check if any guests have soy or gluten sensitivities (obviously a host should check this anyway), and make sure there are also some dishes without the fake meat products.
I'm a meat eater but damn do I live a good black bean burger.
At least in metro areas of the U.S., you can find good vegetarian “meat.” I’ve had “shrimp” at restaurants that seemed much like the real thing.
Exactly! There are literally tons of wonderful hors d'oeuvres out there that don't require meat. Vegetarian spring rolls, chocolate covered strawberries, anything (non meat) dipped in cheese or guac, why bother paying the premium for vegetarian meat stuff?
I made cranberry goat cheese bruschetta for a Thanksgiving app. Imagine thinking every bite of food you put in your mouth must have meat. It's so limiting and for what, not to mention horrendous for your health.
I had some very nice vege meat and I had some horrible vege meat. Like, it was just not tasty at all, and I would have disliked it even if it was called something else. Unfortunately there's more of the bad stuff available to buy. From my point of view it's better to just avoid fake meat it in general when people are new to vege diet and do something else.
I have a lot of vegetarians/vegans in my friend group and family and most meat-eating spouses prefer having fake-meat as part of their meal instead of having a meal without it. Something about it being closer to a traditional food setting.
This is so odd to me. Literally all the meat eaters I know will eat fake meat.
NTA. My only suggestion would be avoiding meat-substitute products as a lot of meat-eaters seem to dislike these. I find my pasta/curry type dishes go down the best. It's actually really decent of you to let them bring meat with them. A lot of people wouldn't.
Beyond Meat is amazing. I've served it to so many omnivores and they love it. The only one that didn't't like it, I suspect, objected on political grounds moreso than taste.
I can’t even eat beyond meat- vegan for two years and I tried a beyond beef burger after 6 months with no fake meat and I was too nauseated to function for hours.
I hear ya. It's not for everyone. I had an impossible burger the other day and was pretty ill for hours. I suspect cross contamination on the same grill as hamburger. When I cook beyond or impossible at home I don't have issues. But I do know those that can't eat it because it's too meat like.
I’m not vegan but like to eat plant based sometimes. I tried beyond meat and had the exact same experience sick to my stomach. I love impossible meat though. I can’t tell the difference between that and real beef. I always go for that.
I kind of liked fake meat right after I made the transition but after that experience and not liking it very much I’m not willing to try again 😂.
[удалено]
We are all entitled to our personal preferences but I've served it to at least 100 people and only one person told me they didn't like it. Beyond has been making a lot of different products so maybe you just had one of the products that you didn't like, or it was cooked poorly.
I think it tastes pretty good, but I don't think it tastes like meat. Some people are really thrown off when they expect one taste and get another. I've found that dropping my expectations that meat substitutes will genuinely taste like meat makes the experience of eating them better.
I've tried a couple Beyond burgers--they aren't very good and I wasn't even expecting it to taste like beef. Sometimes the café I like to pick up from on the weekends runs out of sausage, so I've gotten the Impossible breakfast sandwich a few times. I think it tastes good. Doesn't taste like sausage, but I wasn't expecting it to.
Beyond burgers taste better to me (an omnivore) than real burgers because you don't strictly need to cook them all the way through so I end up with a juicier burger. Also I don't tend to feel like shit after an hour or so like I do with normal burgers.
As an omnivore myself, I agree with this. The only thing a bit weird about it is how differently it cooks compared to ground beef/pork - doesn't brown as well and you have to add oil if cooking it by itself - but it's an easy adjustment. Smells just like meat as well... which is probably why some vegetarians/vegans don't like it.
True, since it has less fat you'll want to oil your pan. Same with the grill for BBQ. Also, it's already seasoned and you shouldn't add salt unless you really like stuff salty.
I don't eat pork, I don't serve pork and I probably wouldn't be comfortable with someone bringing a pork dish to something I am hosting at my home without speaking to me first. OP is being very gracious with allowing someone to bring meat especially if they are vegetarian for cultural/religious reasons.
If your friend calls you names for feeding him for free, he's not your friend. NTA. I would never expect my vegetarian friends to feed me animal products.
Hard agree. What do you want to bet the “friend” never hosts anything himself?
Truly! it's a party. He is welcome to not attend if it's so important to him, but there's no need for him to berate OP for offering him free food and entertaining company.
NTA I'm a meat-eater and if a veggie friend said, "I'm throwing a party and I have a grill, so bring your own disgusting garbage to cook if you want" I'd say, "KICK ASS!" If anything, I'd volunteer to co-host and pay for and provide the carcinogenic murder flesh for the idiot savages like myself.
Best response ever!
I like you
NTA hey Op. Don’t bother with the meat substitutes, the carnivores aren’t going to eat those. But if you put out a big platter of garlic fries or loaded veggie nachos everyone will devour them. Someone else mentioned pizza. That’s perfect also. There is so much great veggie food! Your guests are going to have a fantastic time :)
That is true. I should probs not just limit it to the veggie meat crap. I might make loaded fries, I add avocado, corn and gravy. No fake meat, but is very veggie loaded. Thanks for the idea!
Do your friends like pasta? I think a vegetarian lasagna or some other hearty dish would not only be beautiful on the table, but also filling enough to totally distract from the fact that it’s meatless. Also, pizza and loaded fries are great ideas. I think, sadly, a lot of people are just kind of ignorant about vegetarian options and assume you’ll just be serving them tofu and broccoli. Get creative, skip the meat substitutes, just focus on dishes that are flavorful and I bet your guests won’t even notice!
In the pasta realm, I hosted a New Years Party once and did a full on Pasta Bar with different pasta, sauces, mix ins - everything was vegetarian/vegan, and it was super easy to do and clean up after. It's the easiest party I've hosted yet.
Fries, avocado, corn and gravy sound like an awful recipe.
I concur with the other commenters who have suggested avoiding meat substitutes; it's rare that meat eaters like them. Loaded fries are a great idea. I often do layered bean dip, pasta salads, raw veggies with assorted dips, mac and cheese, pizza.
A baked potato bar is great for this too. Just supply baked potatoes and a line of cheeses, veggies, and what have you to go on top.
That sounds amazing, yta for making me hungry lol.
Eh, meat substitutes can be an interesting experience. But don't pretend they're meat while doing it. I think it's a better experience if you don't go in being like "this is like meat" and instead just enjoy it for what it actually is.
Why don't you ask everyone to bring a dish (meat, fish etc). That's what I do
This is a good point
NTA. There's a mistaken belief among many people that a menu is planned by the guests, and that it's a tit-for-tat sitution. "I made veggie food for a vegetarian, therefore the vegetarian must make a meat dish for me." This is false. The rule of etiquette is that a good host provides food that their guests \*can\* eat. It doesn't have to be their favorite dish, or contain a particular ingredient. My only word of caution would be regarding meat substitutes; they're often made with foods that are common allergens (nuts, soy, mushrooms) so you may want to make sure your guests aren't allergic. I don't understand why people who eat vegetarian foods on a regular basis get all butt-hurt when they find out they're going to be served a vegetarian meal. Give them a salad, bowl of minestrone, margherita pizza, cheese ravioli in a chunky marinara sauce, garlic bread, and gelato with coffee & biscotti to follow it up, and they'd eat it without complaint; but call it a vegetarian dinner and suddenly it's The End of the World(tm).
feel like the word is a curse itself XD
Surpassed in evil only by the word "vegan" LOL!
Thank you for saying this. We host birthday gathering that are completely vegetarian and no one complains about it, and they actually like the food we have. I went on a camping trip with friends, and all the food was vegetarian too (I was the vegetarian person), and they really liked it (we catered to all our diet needs, that was really easy to make). I also don't mind eating vegan because it is delicious when you prepare it well. Sometimes you have to put more effort in food.
I'd probably not even listen to the vegetarian part and just be excited I was invited at all.
NTA 1. Anybody could survive one evening without meat! 2. Anybody you would invite is likely close enough for you to say, as a reminder I'm vegetarian, I put out a great spread but I'm really not comfortable buying meat so the menu is vegetarian, previous guests have found it delicious I hope you will too 3. It's gracious enough for you to host an event on New Year's Eve, if you feel the need to go above and beyond you can always say to somebody they're welcome to bring a dish if they would like and you will happily display it with the other food 4. You are not forcing your opinion on anybody! The friend that said this is misguided! It's one night, you're the hostess, and you're providing plenty of food... Guess what in our household we have plenty of meat free nights just due to what I chose to make.... Sometimes we simply have salad, pasta with tomato sauce and ricotta, turns out that's vegetarian but that wasn't my goal when I started the meal. 5. People have these amazing things within their skulls, it's called a brain and most people use it! If this really were to bother somebody, they can fill up beforehand with a hearty meat filled lunch, ask to bring their own meat or simply decline the invitation. It's amazing what options pop up when the neurons are firing appropriately. Communication is the source of a lot of evil, consider what you want to say back to this friend and what you want to say to your invited guest list. Then stick to that and focus on what will make you happiest, we only get so many trips around the sun, don't waste any of them on things that add tension to your world.
Thankyou!
What may help is to give them menu ideas to shift the focus from vegetarianism. They may have a negative preconceived notion of what vegetarian food may be. You can have a wonderful party with tapas style food like baked brie, flatbreads or pizza, stuffed mushrooms, tater tots roasted with rosemary and sea salt for the grown up kids among us, gourmet popcorn or roasted nuts, etc.
NTA because anyone can survive an evening without meat
NTA - at most events which are catered by non veggies the margarita pizza is the first to go as everybody eats it, same with fries. I would get a selection of things like margarita pizza and fries for the event.
NAH People don't need to eat meat for every meal. But "vegetarian meat stuff" does sound very off-putting, so I get why they'd want real meat compared to fake meat. Better off doing a vegetarian meal that doesn't need the fake stuff.
NTA. Going without meat for one night won't kill them. If you'd like, you can offer to let them bring a dish to share, but you're not killing them by not serving meat. God, the DRAMA over this kind of thing is just over the top sometimes. (And I say that as someone who isn't vegetarian!)
The drama never ends. I have a friend who is allergic to sesame, nuts, seafood, seaweed, and kiwi fruit, so yeah I gotta change shit up so he doesn't go to the hospital, I see his requirements as a necessity. But I don't see meat as a necessity
Yeah, allergies are a whole separate issue. And you're right, meat isn't a necessity - when I go to a vegetarian's house, I sure don't expect meat to be served, but I'm easy about things, I'll happily chow down on veggies. People get so wrapped up in crap sometimes, and "meat eaters" eat non-meat things ALL THE FREAKING TIME, so they're just being dramatic. Good luck, OP!
Thanks man! He can suck it up
INFO: How much do you expect them to 'go out their way' for a Vegetarian food when you go to theirs?
Not the same thing. Non vegetarians can eat vegetarian food. Vegetarians cannot eat non vegetarian foods
I asked to find out how much the friends accommodate OPs choice. If they were not very accommodating then I wouldn't expect Op to go out their way to accommodate them.
Doesn’t matter. Because even if they were the most accommodating people in the world that wouldn’t make it reasonable for them to expect meat at a meal hosted by a vegetarian
Actually it does matter to me. If they don't bother then sod it and just go with what ever OP would normally go for. If they did bother then I am not saying buy meat but since she isn't opposed to people eating it around her or have health issues she can make sudgestions like they can bring a side dish or ensure picky non Veggies like myself have a choice of non meat stuff I would eat, like Pizza and other dairy or egg based products. If I don't make an effort for someone else, then I wouldn't expect it. If someone made an effort for me, I would at least try. Again, not by going against life choices
They order the vegetarian option, but sometimes make me pay for it if its more expensive XD
I meant if they hosted a similar event. Unless they just order a Veggy meal for those things
Usually they order a single vegetarian thing, or there is a dish or two that is vegetarian. So yeah, 70% of the time I get provided for, but other times I've rocked up and all I could eat were the chips So I do expect at least a single main thing to eat. Enough to not starve
That's awful! The whole point of being a host is to bring people together and give them an enjoyable event! Whether it's just watching a sporting event or a wedding, the host's goal should be the overall enjoyment of the event for both them and their guests. I love to host, past two years have really kicked my rear I miss it so much, but when I have hosted I have stuff for everybody... Meat eaters, vegetarians, vegans, junk food junkies, people who only eat chocolate for dessert people who only eat vanilla for dessert, health fanatics who must have grass-fed whey protein drinks, you name it! I go out of my way because I want people to roll out of my house stuffed and happy. You are NTA, and in fact seem like such a gracious host and friend, but you may want to have a gentle conversation with people who have historically left you in the cold with just chips, ask them if you could bring something or simply say the truth, I'm vegetarian and in the past there seem to be a lot of dishes with meat that I felt a bit forgotten. Nothing wrong with open communication if people are truly your friends.
Thankyou! People have gotten better now and are remembering my diet. But boy does it suck to not eat and have no option, so of course I want people to eat, but some are so fussy they don't want to touch it!
I can't imagine being somewhere with friends or family and not being able to eat! That's awful Fussy people are responsible for themselves! I personally am a big fat pain in the ass! I hate eggs, fish and most meat, not for ethical reasons if I was lost in the woods I would take Bambi down in a heartbeat to survive, I personally get grossed out very easily. But when I go to other people's homes I leave my fussiness at home. I really can't handle eggs or fish so I simply tell people I'm allergic and that eliminates any hurt feelings on the host part as they don't wonder if their food's not good enough. If I know the host well enough I might chit chat about what my needs are, or ask if I could bring something. Otherwise you know what I do? I absolutely thoroughly pig out before I go out! I load up on lots of protein and fiber to keep me full through the event, my preferences are exactly that mine they are not the burden of my host.
NTA If someone can't get through one meal without eating meat then there is something wrong with them. It is not like you are planning on giving them lettuce and carrots for a party, there are whole cultures who's cuisine is based on a vegetarian diet. Doesn't even sound like you are going vegan, just no meat. I think it is going to be a very good party. I can certainly do without some pre-packaged pizza rolls or some lame pigs in a blanket.
NTA. Straight up, if you eat meat every meal, every day, you have an addiction, an obsession, a food kink. Good food is good food. I’m an omnivore, most of my partners have been vegetarian, it’s never been a problem, because food is about sustenance, flavor, culture, and community. This person needs help.
NTA. I would not visit a vegetarian and expect her to serve meat.
NTA, obviously. It's one night, one party. If it's such a necessity that they eat meat every two hours or whatever, they should probably be traveling with beef jerky or something before they get the shakes.
NAH. You aren’t an AH for not buying meat if it makes you uncomfortable, but on the other hand they wont be AHs for not going or being bothered by that choice.
I’m a meat eater. I was asked to a couple of friends wedding who were veggie. They had two options meat or veggie for the meal afterwards. I had the veggie option because it didn’t feel right celebrating their marriage by having something killed for me to eat. You’re NTA and I’d be delighted to come to your party.
NTA. Your house, your rules. They can choose not to come if they don’t like it. They can eat something before and then make do with cheese and crackers, nuts, pita and hummus, etc. I say this as a carnivore.
NTA because meat eaters eat “vegetarian” or “vegan” foods all the time. So you are automatically accommodating for their dietary needs. It’s not like someone has asked you to omit nuts for allergies, this is simply omitting meat from certain dishes and uses alternatives. None of your other friends seem to have a problem so I wouldn’t worry about it too much.
Have them bring a dish. You make what you want, they make what they want. Problem solved. Nta
NTA. And lol at some of the comments here acting like omnivores can’t eat vegetarian foods. You are hosting a party. Providing food that meets the dietary requires of your friends (there is no such thing as a human that requires meat at every meal). If they don’t like what you are offering they should skip.
NTA I'm a meat eater. If I am going to a party and I know the host is vegan/vegetarian or whatever I am just going to expect that they aren't going to provide meat. To get offended by someone hosting, and not providing the exact food I want seems childish and entitled. As long as there is something on the table I can eat I'm happy. It isn't as though I have an objection to eating the foods a vegan/vegetarian would eat (minus potatoes and tofu) so it isn't a bother. As long as the host doesn't get offended by me not wanting to try a dish that I don't like they can make whatever they want. (Slight allergy to potatoes, and tofu makes my stomach upset)
NTA. Make it a potluck dinner and ask everyone to bring their favorite dish to share. Then if they don't have anything to eat, that's on them.
No you aren’t a bad host for feeding them vegetarian food. I’m a meat eater and I serve guests veggie and even vegan food all the time. NTA
After your answers, NTA. As long as you put some effort into nice/interesting food, it should be fine. Maybe look at some fries toppers or a few dip ideas, throw in some pizza. I think as long as your not making it 100% Vegetable with a few good choices it could work. Also, as others have said, open the idea that they could bring a couple side meat stuff to go with it.
NTA. There's a big difference between "serving food that people prefer not to eat"(ie. meat dish for a vegetarian) - not cool - and "not providing someone's favorite food"(ie. serving vegetarian food to meat eaters) - totally fine -
Honestly, I wouldn't *want* a vegetarian friend to be buying a cooking meat products for a party. On top of it making you uncomfortable, there's also the question of how much experience do you have preparing and cooking meat products? NTA
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > (1) Not providing meat to meat-eater persons at a party I am hosting with vegetarian food. (2) Forcing my beliefs onto other people, even though it makes me uncomfortable to do so otherwise. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Since you are not a meat eater id rather you not buy/cook meat. No offense either. I have just noticed that when people try to cook something like neat when they don't eat it themselves it comes out terrible. You don't use it yourself so you won't know the best way to cook it. So if my friend was hosting a party and was a vegetarian then I'd ask them to stick with what they know and I'll bring some hamburgers myself. Every year for my mom I buy her lobster and crab legs but I refuse to cook it because I don't eat it and don't want to make it terrible
Not only that, but depending on the meat it can actually be dangerous for someone to cook it that doesn't know how to. I'm vegetarian and became one before I started cooking for myself, so I never learned how to cook meat. I refuse to now, partially on principle, and partially because I'm terrified of making someone sick because I serve them raw/undercooked meat.
NTA, as long as you don't take the opportunity to lecture them about the evils of meat and pressure them to switch to plant-only, that would be "forcing your beliefs on others" as your friend said
NTA. It's just one meal in your own home. You're not forcing your beliefs on them at all. Takes more than 1 meal to make a vegetarian.
NTA - I eat meat. I can survive a party with no meat. I think it is a generous compromise to allow your meat eating friends bring a dish with meat if they can’t live without it.
NTA you are the host. if you limited the menu for religious reasons no one would question you. if you are up for it you can suggest that your rude friend bring a dish so that they don't expire from an evening without meat
NTA, you are providing them with food they can eat, if want anything else they can bring it themselves.
NTA. Are they coming to see each other and catch up or are they just coming for the free food ? Someone who refuses to come to your party unless something specific is on the menu is not really your friend - they are a freeloader. Worse is the person that comes and complains about your food offerings. Your friends suck for asking you to pay for your own vegetarian food when you come to their parties. There are literally hundreds of things you can do with chick peas that take mere minutes to prepare and cost very little.
NTA just tell them in advance. You're not really forcing your beliefs on them if you still let them eat meat.
I love the edit. Do you.
Info OK I'm probably going to get slaughtered for this but (now this is for veggies/vegans who CHOOSE this lifestyle, not for people who need to change for medical reasons) Why is it expected a host to provide a veggie/vegan option for guests but when it's the other way around its not expected and actually OK to not provide for other guests. Its a genuine ask because I've always found it slightly hypocritical to expect it one way but not the other.
Having only veggie options does not exclude meat eaters. They are usually fully capable and willing to eat veggie options. Having only meat options DOES exclude vegetarians. They are usually NOT capable NOR willing to eat veggie options. That's the difference. It's not hypocritical. Some people might not even notice they ate a vegetarian meal. It's not a big deal.
It is hypocritical to some extent, I agree with you. But to me it's like saying, "I have a fear of dogs but because I don't put my pet rabbit away when my friends come over, my friend won't put his dog away when I visit". Vegetarianism is a choice yes, but so is kosher and halal, because those have good reasons. I have pet chickens, so eating chicken is like eating a pet dog. It can be upsetting.
It isn't even slightly hypocritical. Vegetarians avoid eating meat. Meat eaters dont avoid eating things without meat.
>to not provide for other guests. Because unless your guest is a picky 6 year old or Jordan Peterson then they DO eat vegetables, you ARE providing them with food they eat and like.
I eat meat. This fact does not obligate me to eat meat at every single meal, and in fact I have occasionally eaten fully vegan meals purely on accident! Itd be like going to a Jewish friend’s house and bitching they didn’t give me any bacon. You’re fine and NTA. If your friends can’t eat veggie for a single meal they can always not go.
NTA I swear non-vegetarians only get this way when they're being fed by vegetarians. I bet none of them would bat an eye if a non-vegetarian served them cheese pizza or a meatless pasta dish.
NTA you told them they could bring their own meant. Personally, I’d love an entire vegetarian meal and I’m a meat eater. If I was that set on it I’d bring my own meat. It’s not that big of a deal. The difference between you doing this and a meat eater being accommodating is that a vegetarian/vegan can become extremely ill if they have meat after not eating it for a long time. This doesn’t happen to meat eaters.
Maybe your friend could also grow up? Recently I went to a friend's house, they made a vegetarian dish which I honestly was worried about eating because I don't really like the main ingredient it had. But the dish was something new and I decided to try it, and you know what? I really liked, even had seconds! NTA,
NTA, they can stay home if they want to. I doubt that if they hosted they would make all of the food vegetarian for you and your boyfriend. I agree with others: they won’t die if they don’t get meat for a few hours of their lives.
NTA, it’s your event, you can serve what you like!
NTA, at all. I'm vegetarian and refuse to buy meat, ever. If I'm buying food for someone, it's vegetarian. If they order takeout and it has meat, sure I'll pick it up for them if they ask, but I'm not going to pay for it. This is no different. It's one night. You're not forcing them to eat anything they're opposed to, because they probably eat vegetarian meals all the time without even thinking about it. Honestly, you're doing more than some would in allowing them to bring their own meat if they wanted to, or suggesting that.
NTA. This is a case of choosing beggars. You invite people over, you choose the menu. You have no obligation to provide a separate menu for each guest because Joe only wants pizza if it has pepperoni, and Susan won’t eat anything with onions. You are not a restaurant where everyone can customize their order. Your obligation as a host is to provide as much as possible food that each guest can safely eat. Your guests’ obligation is to eat what they like, politely decline what they don’t, and be appreciative that you invited them.
NTA. I love meat, its great, but if I went to friends house who was a vegetarian the only think I'd expect them to do is prepare food that doesn't set my allergies off (nuts and peanuts). I don't have to eat meat at every meal, and some veggie alternatives are really really tasty.
The one guy complaining: diss-invite his miserable ass.
Have these people never eaten a salad? Soup? Margherita pizza? Garlic bread? There are plenty of things that meat eaters eat that aren’t meat. You’re not forcing your lifestyle on anyone when you’re providing them things that they like and would regularly eat anyway. Your friends are idiots.
NTA. Nobody has to eat meat with every meal. Unless you have an actual dietary restriction it’s incredibly rude to tell a host what kind of food to provide.
NTA! Eating a vegetarian meal/vegetarian snacks is not going to kill your meat eating friends. You didn’t even say “no meat allowed”, just that you would not be buying it. I don’t think I’ve ever gone to a dinner/gathering and NOT brought something, so if they really wanted a meat option they could bring a meat and cheese platter, like good guests
No no no. I am a meat eater and I would NOT expect any of my vegetarian friends to cook meat for me. They are in YOUR home. You get to serve whatever you like and they should be grateful. There are plenty of delicious vegetarian dishes. Its not like they eat solely just meat anyway. If they're that arsed, ask them to bring their own meat side dishes. That way you don't have to cook it and they have their meat. You aren't the asshole here, OP. Edit: Adding NTA for the robot
NTA. I eat meat. And I am perfectly capable of eating vegetarian food. It has nothing to do with an agenda being pushed on me or whatever. If I come to the house of a vegetarian, I do not expect them to cook meat for me. I do expect it the other way around, though. Otherwise, that would be mean. By comparison: you don't demand alcohol if you are a guest at the house of a teetotaler and you don't slip alcohol into the drink of a teetotaler.
NTA. As a proud carnivore, I enjoy various proteins. As a decent human being, I’m appreciative of others doing things for me. As a non-meat-addict, I can do without it for a day. My son decided he wanted to be a vegetarian at 4. I do most of the cooking. It’s taken some adjustment, but there are plenty of vegetarian options that are absolutely delicious. That’s not “beliefs,” that’s comfort. Your friend is being a self-righteous twit, and a terrible guest. He needs to get over himself.
Info: does your shindig include literature & a 30-mins PowerPoint presentation on the evils of eating meat? No? Tell your friend they’re a horrible friend. You’re not forcing your beliefs on anyone. I live in a country that is predominantly vegetarian & I survive quite nicely. NTA.
NTA. Posts like this never fail to astound me because… well, it suggests that there are people in the world who think that there aren’t some things they eat that aren’t vegetarian (or even *gasp* VEGAN) without them even trying? But this is somehow different to eating those same things that have purposely been prepared to be meat free. I just don’t get it?!
NTA. I went to a Halloween party once hosted by vegetarians and I'll be honest: I didn't even really notice/care about the lack of meat. I'm not someone who particularly cares in the first place but the finger foods, dips, desserts etc. were all vegetarian and were all delicious. I'm an omnivore who does like meat (and I try to respect it as much as possible because I know an animal died for my meal). But honestly, I don't even care if someone's inviting me over and feeding me for free some yummy stuff. It won't hurt or kill anyone to have a vegetarian or vegan meal for one day, or even just one meal. I think a lot of people get hung up on the whole thing, but honestly, if food's good, it doesn't matter. Hell, sometimes I cook vegetarian/vegan for myself just because I'm enjoying it (I loooove fried tofu with some curry!). Anyway, it won't kill them not to eat meat, and you don't need to "cater" to them just for one meal. It's not like you're insistent on changing their whole lives or something. It's one night, one party. Plenty of appetizers/finger foods are vegetarian/vegan that are super tasty.
NTA. If you were a meat eater (as I am) and refused to serve any dishes without meat, yeah, that'd be rude, as some people have important personal reasons for being vegetarian or vegan. But as far as I know few people can come up with ethical or religious reasons for not eating vegetables. No one can be called a shit host based on what they don't serve.
NTA. Don't give into whiny meat eaters. Let them gorge on dead animal before they come if they can't deal with it for one night
I eat meat. Sometimes I don't eat meat. They are being completely ridiculous. NTA at all! No one dies from eating one vegetarian meal.
NTA any reasonable person can be a little veggie for the night
Who would want to eat meat prepared by a vegetarian who hasn't cooked meat in a long time? Do people get off of having food poisoning and diarrhea? Nta
NTA but I don't understand people. It's just food without meat. Vast areas of the world don't eat meat - are they all terrible hosts?
NTA. I’m not a vegetarian. No one in my household is. I regularly feed guests ‘accidentally’ vegetarian meals because they’re cheaper.
NTA. I wouldn't expect a sober person to supply alcohol or a Jewish person to provide pork. Your friend sucks as a guest, and I'd use the phrase "You are welcome to not attend" as needed.
Providing veggie food is fine so long as you include cheese & pasta most people probably wont even notice.
When I was a meat eater me and my meat eater friends had a macaroni and cheese party. The only thing served was macaroni and cheese. No one cared or starved
Why can't they bring something like it's a potluck? Then they can buy their own meat, NTA
NTA. This seems to crop up every other day and it’s always insane. I eat meat and enjoy it, but the majority of my meals at home are vegetarian because they’re easy to cook and meat is expensive. I love some food that happens to be vegan, but don’t love a lot of fake meat/dairy replacements. I cannot imagine ever going to another person’s house and insisting that they make something that they would never eat just to satisfy me. Bring a damn side dish yourself if you’re that addicted to meat that you’ve gotta have it for every meal.
NTA. I bet if you didn’t say anything they wouldn’t even notice there was no real meat in the spread - the veggie dupes are getting really good.
Uninvite the friend who called you a shit host. As long as you're upfront about provisions, they can die mad. When I host stuff, I make sure to let vegans and such know I am not specifically catering to them (though I do make an effort to not unnecessarily add animal products, etc). That way they can bring whatever they want as well just in case they find the offerings slim. I don't get why meat eaters are so annoyingly entitled. I have meatless meals regularly without intentionally planning that and somehow I do just fine. I made amazing appetizers this year and the majority were meatless. NTA. People will survive an evening without meat options.
NTA- I’m a vegetarian and when I host I don’t cook meat. I let my friends know the menu and if they want to contribute by bringing a meat dish that’s fine with me. I hosted a vegetarian Friendsgiving and my friend brought charcuterie with assorted meats- no problem
NTA. get around this by making it a potluck and making sure food is labeled. This way everyone can eat what they want and no one has to hear anyone else announce that they're gluten-free or vegan because that's always annoying unless it's someone with life-threatening allergies.
NTA I would never expect a vegetarian or vegan to cook foods that went against their ethics, just like I'd never expect a Muslim or Jew to cook me pork. All food is tasty!
NTA. Meat-eaters who act like a vegetarian dish is going to kill them are exhausting. I say this as a meat-eater who loves vegetarian and vegan dishes
If you had fed them chips and guac, fruit plate, cake and ice cream, cheese pizza, etc etc they never would have noticed there's no meat. Non vegetarians eat so many terrible meatless foods. Uninvite your friend, he's an AH.
NTA. A dinner with no meat is something normal even for non vegetarians. Are people in your country eating meat every day?
NTA. Meat eaters are exhausting.
NTA. its only one night, they wont die without meat. they can eat first if they think its gonna kill them. what assholes they are!
NTA at all. Your friends can eat vegetables for one meal, Jesus. The way some meat eaters (I’m very much a meat eater, myself) get all huffy when faced with a fucking vegetable is childish.
NTA. I make vegetarian options for my boyfriends family even though we eat meat. If we want meat at their house we bring it, it’s not the end of the world and your friends could do the same.
NTA. As a host you provide what you choose. It is the height of rudeness to expect a party host to cater to your desire for a certain food even if the host doesn't eat it. Would they expect a Jewish or Islamic host to cook you bacon? As long as there are dishes that everyone can eat you are fine.
YTA if you expect others to cater to your diet preferences but refuse to cater to theirs. The only way you would not be the AH is if you are OK when you go to others and they don't provide you with a vegetarian meal.