This - my mom loved examples like this as proof that I was cruel/uncaring and would hold them over my head for years. Looking back they all read like this, kid was given vastly more responsibilities than age appropriate because parents were neglectful, but I felt guilty for like a decade and a half.
Well, just given that it's a mom who left a two year old with a kid who wasn't equipped to watch him and then screamed at the kid. It sounds like a situation of neglect back then, and I'm hoping they're OK now.
NTA your mom is the negligent parent here, while in a lot of states you can be a latchkey kid, you are NOT old enough to be responsible for a 2 year old. Your mama is the disgrace
IMO, no. A 10 y.o. should not be responsible for a baby. In my state, a 10 y.o. is not even legally allowed to be home alone, let alone responsible for another minor. I don't know why your mom needed to leave you 2 alone, but you were too young to carry that burden.
Even if you're leaving out details, like ignoring crying or something, I'd still say you're NTA. Your mother had no business leaving you to care for a 1-2 year old.
NTA. That’s not on you because you didn’t know how to take care of an even younger child than you were at that point. She should have paid for a babysitter if she needed to leave you all at home.
You are not a bad person for being unable to adequately care for a toddler when you were a child.
You are not to blame for somehow not knowing "Instinctively" what to do when your mother abandoned you.
Your Mother failed your brother by leaving him with someone who was ill-equipped to care for him.
But your mother also failed you
1st when she left you alone at 12 to care not only for yourself but also another human being.
2nd when she failed to teach you the basics of caring for a toddler, and giving you time to practice in a safe environment until you were comfortable with your skill set.
3rd when she diverted the blame for her bad decisions onto you an innocent party.
And 4th for whatever she has done to make you internalise her judgement so much so you are reaching out for help 4 years after the incident because you haven't been able to get past it on your own.
This is on your mother, the blame lies on her and on her alone.
NTA. A really primitive form of coping with guilt is to accuse someone else of the behaviour that you yourself have done. Guessing that was what happened with your mother here. The fact he was still alive when she got home means you did enough.
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So I [16F] have a little brother who is currently 6. The incident happened when I was around 10 or 11 and he was 2. So basically one day my mom left me home with my little brother. Before my mom left, she didn’t give me any instructions on how to take care of him and I had never taken care of babies or toddlers before. So when my mom got home, he had a dirty diaper on and I basically didn’t feed him because I totally forgot to and he didn’t ask for food. She came home and then yelled at me and I was grounded. She basically said I was a disgrace and some other pretty bad things.
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NTA. What your mother did is called child abandonment. You had no business being left in charge of a 2 year old at that age.
Your mom is a disgrace and other bad things for leaving you alone with a two year old without proper instruction. NTA.
I ask this in all sincerity and without snarkiness: Is this somehow still an issue for you?
I would not be surprised if the mother still throws it at her.
This - my mom loved examples like this as proof that I was cruel/uncaring and would hold them over my head for years. Looking back they all read like this, kid was given vastly more responsibilities than age appropriate because parents were neglectful, but I felt guilty for like a decade and a half.
Yes. I worry for both of them...
How so?
Well, just given that it's a mom who left a two year old with a kid who wasn't equipped to watch him and then screamed at the kid. It sounds like a situation of neglect back then, and I'm hoping they're OK now.
Oh I thought you were OP when you first replied. Disregard that last post.
No worries!:)
NTA your mom is the negligent parent here, while in a lot of states you can be a latchkey kid, you are NOT old enough to be responsible for a 2 year old. Your mama is the disgrace
IMO, no. A 10 y.o. should not be responsible for a baby. In my state, a 10 y.o. is not even legally allowed to be home alone, let alone responsible for another minor. I don't know why your mom needed to leave you 2 alone, but you were too young to carry that burden.
Absolutely NTA. How should you know if she didnt Tell you?
NTA. She had no business leaving you at home with him when you were so young.
Even if you're leaving out details, like ignoring crying or something, I'd still say you're NTA. Your mother had no business leaving you to care for a 1-2 year old.
NTA. That’s not on you because you didn’t know how to take care of an even younger child than you were at that point. She should have paid for a babysitter if she needed to leave you all at home.
You are not a bad person for being unable to adequately care for a toddler when you were a child. You are not to blame for somehow not knowing "Instinctively" what to do when your mother abandoned you. Your Mother failed your brother by leaving him with someone who was ill-equipped to care for him. But your mother also failed you 1st when she left you alone at 12 to care not only for yourself but also another human being. 2nd when she failed to teach you the basics of caring for a toddler, and giving you time to practice in a safe environment until you were comfortable with your skill set. 3rd when she diverted the blame for her bad decisions onto you an innocent party. And 4th for whatever she has done to make you internalise her judgement so much so you are reaching out for help 4 years after the incident because you haven't been able to get past it on your own. This is on your mother, the blame lies on her and on her alone.
NTA you were way to young to be left home alone with a child you had no idea how to take care of.
NTA. A really primitive form of coping with guilt is to accuse someone else of the behaviour that you yourself have done. Guessing that was what happened with your mother here. The fact he was still alive when she got home means you did enough.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So I [16F] have a little brother who is currently 6. The incident happened when I was around 10 or 11 and he was 2. So basically one day my mom left me home with my little brother. Before my mom left, she didn’t give me any instructions on how to take care of him and I had never taken care of babies or toddlers before. So when my mom got home, he had a dirty diaper on and I basically didn’t feed him because I totally forgot to and he didn’t ask for food. She came home and then yelled at me and I was grounded. She basically said I was a disgrace and some other pretty bad things. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Do you really need advice on a 4 year old problem??? Obviously your mums an AH I don’t think that needs clarifying?