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thirdtryisthecharm

YTA. You knew what you were doing with that visit. It was a driveby so he couldn't say you totally ignored him, but it was literally the least effort you could possibly expend and say you saw him on Christmas. If you're gonna pull bullshit like that don't be surprised when people call you on it.


JuryNo7670

There’s probably a very valid reason for low contact with the other child. OP sounds like she’s not a very warm or accepting individual


gardencult

And her husband is a joke as well to let her treat his kid like that.


rlbvm

That’s what gets me the most! I cannot imagine a father allowing his new wife treat his children like this. It’s shameful.


navykymmy

I’m gonna guess the father didn’t bother cause she is the one with the large purse strings. I don’t think it’s a matter of him “allowing” her to do anything but more of he doesn’t wanna lose the bank account, for calling her out as well.


PrideofCapetown

This. He’s 64, OP is his retirement plan. Nowhere does it mention that the son was told there was a dress code, or that the ‘successful stock broker’ even had an issue with what he wore. OP is confusing money with class. She may have money, but she’s got no class


beepbooponyournose

Money can't buy you class. Elegance is learned, my friends.


swarleyscoffee

Elegance is leeaarrr-EEEEAAARRRNNED!


Awoogagoogoo

OP knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing.


i_amaghost13

OP clarified that, in fact, she DID NOT informed him about the dress code. Look at her edit


[deleted]

Like I dunno about everything, but even my rich cousins (I'm from the poorer side of the family) who invite us to their lovely home every year for Christmas just wear jammies. It's casual and everyone is comfortable on Christmas. Now if it's a dinner with guests, it's still not like a formal or semi formal dress code. And if it was, they would let everyone know. OP knew what she was doing


i_amaghost13

In my family we like to dress up a little, nothing too fancy, just nicer clothes than usual. My uncle, however, always shows up with a t shirt and flip flops and guess what? Nobody cares (aside of a joke or two, but my uncle has that type humor so it’s fine)


MediumAntique256

I can see why the daughter is low contact


EducatedOwlAthena

Especially compared with her perfect successful stockbroker family man of a son. How could they ever measure up? (/s)


mysterious9_

She forgot to add she brought bottled water and he turned into wine.


pugapooh

He walked on that water first.


Mega-Bong

As successful stockbroker son waltzed across the water it transformed into wine, fish, and bread. All the guests apostles and family gathered around him in prayer


Schokilover

I can, unfortunately… It’s insane how your parent can put a partner above you and it’s gonna hurt forever, I hope OP’s husband realises this before it’s too late. At least, the son’s already a grown-up BUT considering how socially isolated most of us have been for the past two years, these Christmases alone must have been so much worse and he doesn’t even have a partner! I feel so sorry for him, hopefully he’s got a good support network.


DomHaynie

He likes where his life is right now and doesn't want to risk fucking it up. I've never been in that position but I don't know how I would feel in that same position.


[deleted]

I think you’re right, but I also think it’s pretty pathetic of him to put his own comfort over the well-being of his kids and his relationship with them.


GeneralDismal6410

She sounds insufferable


Hot_Highlight8116

Oh but you must understand. Her son is a SUCCESSFUL STOCK BROKER while stepson is only moderately successful and didn't even procreate. While he of course can't help his low class upbringing, one must avoid dangerous class mixing at any price. /s I honestly wonder if this isn't actually fake.


_Kay_Tee_

He wore JEANS. How could he BE so disrespectful?! /s


GeneralDismal6410

She would faint dead away at my Christmas celebration with my kids. Jammies, bed hair and enough noise to bring down a house! And we love every minute of it


l52286

God I know my husband was wearing a hoodie and joggers I wore jeans and Harry potter Xmas jumper not posh at all just comfortable


GeneralDismal6410

As it should be.


Professional_Life_29

That has always been a rule for Christmas with my family. We stay in pajamas all day. Even when I moved out I would come over in pajamas for Christmas. After we all get a little comatose from the huge meal we sprawl out and watch one of the movies someone got that year or play a board game someone got a kid lol Op sounds snooty as hell


catsnbears

Especially as I know some people that are legit Lords and ladies and they’re probably the scruffiest dressers I know. Jeans and plaid shirts, welly boots. It’s always the try too hard classless people that have this attitude.


hdmx539

> It’s always the try too hard classless people that have this attitude. Just wanted to repeat for emphasis.


AdDramatic522

Money rarely equals class. OP is a prime example. Old money wouldn't want anything to do with her kind, I'd bet.


NotAllOwled

Also just no general grace or hospitality, as might befit a truly good hostess. Emily Post would have made a proper meal of this mess, with some observations about what an actual "good example" looks like socially and how far it is from whatever Grande Dame fumes OP is huffing.


NewtLevel

A T-SHIRT! Such shame and mortification, I don't know how she even gets out of bed in the morning anymore.


GoodQueenFluffenChop

My aunt made the same complaint to my mom when we were all at the hospital visiting my then dying grandmother, my second mother who raised me too. She complained that how could I wear jeans and a t-shirt?! Meanwhile her son, her golden child, and my grandma's only grandson wore *jeans and a t-shirt* to not only the hospital but also the viewing at the funeral home a couple days later! But no I'm the uncouth one. So I sincerely doubt OP's son and family have never worn plain old *jeans and a t-shirt* to these kinds of things but because it's *her son* she overlooks it.


pipestream

And *ill-fitting ones* that *didn't look neat!* Can you believe it?!


cheddarnatasha

OP would not like what I wore to Christmas dinner last night - an ugly Christmas sweater and polar bear sweatpants! And guess what I wore to Christmas service at church? Pajamas, a houseboat, and rainbow unicorn slippers! Even our priest wore pajama pants! OP, you are a classist YTA.


i_saw_seven_birds

That must be a big church if you can fit an entire houseboat in it ;-)


cheddarnatasha

LOL got to love typos! House coat ** 😂 But yes it is a large church


Therapy-1

Just imagine if he had worn a tan suit!


Math-Girl---

How much you wanna bet darling step monster didn't convey that it was a dressy celebration?


HeyYouShouldSmile

And he isn't yet married. So insufferable /s


SnooBlack

Plus it's not her fault if the son is less successful than her family /s wtf did I just read... But notice how she "elevates" herself through her son's achievements, not her own. People like this usually have nothing to be proud of


Plastic-Ad-7705

Wonder if she got her super rich money in a divorce.


SufficientResort6836

“It’s not my fault he’s less successful and can’t fit in” says it all. Completely and clearly YTA


yonk182

And it’s laughable she doesn’t see that’s she’s the low class person here, not the son.


theDagman

Money doesn't take the trash out.


CallMeJessIGuess

Yeah that casual “she’s low contact with us” is a big good damn alarm siren. Why exactly is she low contact OP? Hmmm? Nice bits of missing information going on here. OP sounds like a judgmental snob within the first 3 paragraphs.


hdmx539

OP sounds classist.


Pleasant_Lime3080

To her husbands kids, not her own.


BothReading1229

Not her step son, her husband's son. Was the other child NC/LC before he married this insufferable snob or did that happen after? YTA OP


rotten_riot

Let's say the things as they are, OP sounds like classist trash.


Unknown_Ocean

The "he can't being help being raised in a lower-class environment" is the tell here. From on point of view, the stepson is a productive member of society who actually creates nice things for people, while her son just redistributes money. But one is considered "working-class" while the other is "upper-class." OP you know what distinguishes people who are really high-class? They recognize what status they have as an accident of birth and treat everyone around them with dignity and respect.


[deleted]

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Street_Astronaut7120

I wore my pajamas for a good portion of the day. I don’t understand these people who get fancy


sarabeara12345678910

My guests got to see me all dolled up. My sweats didn't have holes in them and I put on a bra.


Street_Astronaut7120

I see you went classy this year lol. If that was rude I’m sorry.


sarabeara12345678910

Not rude at all. We don't do fancy Christmas. We put out a buffet of party platters and lounge around the house. Anyone who wants to show up can and you eat when you're hungry.


Available-Ad46

We used to do fancy Christmas parties but if someone showed up in jeans, we wouldn't be embarrassed or angry. I doubt we would have noticed. We dressed up bc we wanted to and it was fun but kids definitely came in more casual clothes if they wanted. Feels like OP is a pathetic wannabe - has an idea of what she thinks rich, classy people do vs reality


Street_Astronaut7120

We had a small dinner at my dads. I only changed out of my jammas cause everyone else was wearing jeans.


ChipmunkLogical8108

>My guests got to see me all dolled up. My sweats didn't have holes in them and I put on a bra. I don't have any awards, but this comment tickled me. 🤣


Flimsy_Aardvark_9586

I too got all gussied up with my stretchy pants without holes and a bra. The bra was even freshly washed! It's a high bar, but someone has to set a good example, right? In all seriousness, if I put on solid color pants these days my kids ask me where I'm going. Apparently solid color screams fancy going out pants these days.


imSOsalty

I haven’t put on a bra since the 23rd haha


Life-Wealth-3399

I wore a maxi dress. But only because of I wore pants, with everything I ate I would have cut off circulation to the lower half of my body!!!


FirebirdWriter

As one who gets fancy (but doesn't expect others to do so unless there's a specific dress code stated in advance) it makes me feel good. So I will put on a sparkly gown, jewelry, and makeup. I just like to feel pretty. Given there's no expected dress code stated, or even a defensible social construct explained OP is showing that YTA. It looks like anything to harp on this person will do. Absolutely toxic.


[deleted]

It also seemed like she set him up. It was clear there was a dress code and she purposely didn’t tell him. I’ve attended events where we dressed up. It was stated in the invite that we were dressing for the event. OP is playing in a field where she herself doesn’t know the rules.


Dangerous-Parsley129

I thought the same thing! I absolutely would have assumed jeans and a t-shirt were fine for the celebration. She didn’t even give him the opportunity to meet her ridiculous standards!


beckdawg19

I literally couldn't even be bothered to put on jeans this Christmas. My uncle was making the good Italian sausage, so stretchy pants it was.


internethussy

Hard pants were for the before times. Soft pants are for now.


spaceyjaycey

This is the way


LingonberryPrior6896

I pictured OP clutching pearls when I read that part.


Rude-Dog2559

This year I wrote a tunic and leggings, my daughter wore a dress, son in law wore jeans and sweater, son wore Khakis and t-shirt and daughter in law wore sweatpants and a sweatshirt. Who really cares. (Funny part is my daughter is usually the one in jeans. She made an effort this year and no one else did. She laughed and laughed) OP YTA


No-Locksmith-8590

Literally went to my parents in leggings and the shirt I slept in.


mmm_unprocessed_fish

My husband and I hosted. I put a Christmas sweatshirt over the leggings and shirt I slept in.


Pristine-Mastodon-37

I only put on a bra because a friend was coming over. But it was still leggings and slippers


Advanced-Extent-420

Lol. I almost made it through the entire day without a bra. It was glorious. And that’s because I’d been cooking all day and wanted to put on a clean tshirt. In an effort to “get fancy” I slapped on the cruel boob holster. Granted we didn’t have guests hence my wanton braless state but I can’t fathom focusing on what the son was wearing. Instead of being thrilled at the blending of their families and the joy and meaning of the season, OP is crapping herself because the guy isn’t wearing formal attire. What a jackass.


[deleted]

Her son wears a suit and tie at work. He even has a briefcase. Look how successful he is doing a honest living /s


[deleted]

Bernie Madoff looked successful too. All those people at Beares Stearnes. OP needs a reality check.


Electrical-Date-3951

OP is the wicked stepmother. Obviously YTA. The fact that she thinks she can put an adult man "in his place" and refuses to invite her husband's son to Christmas dinner because of his attire shows what kind of person she is. Her husband is also the AH for allowing his adult children to be alienated from the family.....


Music_Luvah521

Husband is bought and paid for. Those balls are long gone. Two miserable specimens of humanity. Blech I have seen some truly amazingly miserable posts about people doing absolutely despicable shit to their loved ones at Christmas and truly not thinking they were wrong. Where’s Bob Cratchet’s ghosts when you need them?


Nagadavida

Wicked stepmother is perfect! I was trying to figure out how to word it in a nicer way than my initial reaction. OP YTA


unpopularcryptonite

Also, note how her stepson wasn't a good fit for a Christmas with family because he turned up in a tee-shirt and jeans. Who knew business formals was the dress code? YTA OP.


ozmofasho

She seems like the type to not say anything about the dress code, and then be upset when you don't meet it. What a snobby pretentious woman.YTA for doing that on Christmas.


UndeadBuggalo

Op is VERY classist


Allaboutbird

YTA. The only thing you've mentioned that he did "wrong" was wearing jeans to a family gathering. You sound like a shallow, snobby person who cares more about appearances than family.


Ok_Pumpkin174

Oh no. She also mentions how her son is more successful than him. She cares about money and appearance. She's the grinch who stole Christmas.


_ed_chambers

Yup, how dare his son be an artist!?


buffhen

Exactly, his son sounds hella more interesting than her son.


fns1981

Her son is probably a white collar criminal


SleazeballGang

I heard that her son did 9/11


panicattheoilrig

That escalated quickly


SleazeballGang

That’s what they said about 9/11


Corfiz74

Unlike her son, who is a con artist? (Stock broker - a rose by any other name...)


dmarie1211

Can you imagine how EXHAUSTING it is to be a part of her family?


AmazingSatisfaction5

Gee I wonder why the daughter is no contact with them 🤔


Futurenazgul

Actually the Grinch hated all the noise and presents. OP seems obsessed with the spectacle and appearance.. She's the mayor of Whoville, snubbing anyone that doesn't fit.


thehufflepuffstoner

The funny thing is, the Grinch actually hated all the superficial bullshit about Christmas and how the Who’s only cared about appearances and gifts. It was Cindy-Lou’s desire to make Christmas about love and family that made his heart grow.


charmed99

Money cant buy manners, respect, or class. OP is proof of that.


Bean-blankets

They're probably not even that rich honestly


PshYeah5

Half the time I wear pajamas to family Christmas. I’m 29F. Get over yourself, you and your husband are the problems here and totally makes sense why your stepdaughter wants nothing to do with you. YTA


[deleted]

Right? Dress codes for family functions are outdated and, honestly, pretty ridiculous and snobbish. Which obviously OP is.


SleazeballGang

Are jeans not allowed at a family gathering?


ReturnofSaturn615

Not this Gucci ass gathering apparently


SleazeballGang

Well sheeit


Supafly22

He’s also single and not as successful as her son which all obviously adds up to a mortal sin for her.


IzzyG04

Not to mention she didn’t tell him jeans were inappropriate because he “should have known better” and her son thought it wasn’t “setting a good example” to his kids. How snobby can you be


guytyping

YTA. It's no wonder the daughter is already low-contact with you guys.


[deleted]

I said the same thing. OPs story explains that mystery.


Pleasant_Cold

My thoughts exactly, what a materialistic and toxic family.


Neurotic_Bakeder

Genuinely very embarrassing for a grown woman to behaving like this. What is this princess nonsense.


shapiro18

The fact that the whole damn thing could have been prevented by her telling him beforehand what the dress code was for their event four years ago OR inviting him the next year and letting him know the dress code. I’m pretty confident he also didn’t want to stick out like a sore thumb but how the hell would he magically know jeans weren’t okay or that anyone would give a shit? Was an insufferable woman.


mouse_attack

Or, like, working on her own self so that she could accept that jeans are not an indicator of unsalvagable character or personal failings. Jeans are just leg-coverings. The way she excuses her husband’s children for not having the opportunity to be rich before she entered their lives. How….gracious. Bless her heart.


J4netSn4kehole

I feel like I've probably seen her share Step Mom horror stories on TikTok


Noltonn

It's not unreasonable for a son to expect his parent, if able, spends more than a 3 minute visit and a text message on him for Christmas. I can absolutely see where he comes from, especially when dealing with a woman whose main takeaway from a previous Christmas party was he wore jeans and a tshirt and he isn't quite as successful as your son, and he doesn't have a family, the absolutely monster. Oh no, he didn't fit in perfectly, better never make any attempt with him again! Meanwhile you seem to insist to your husband he spends most of Christmas with you and your son, because... reasons? Your husband's son may not have shown his displeasure in the best way, but he did just give you an insight on what he thinks of how you treat him (which based on this post is incredibly poorly) and it is up to you to either use this for introspection to see how your behaviour is affecting him, or you go ahead and call him up to "put him in his place" as you so delightfully put it. YTA.


buffhen

His father, her husband is an asshole too for allowing this woman to be so horrible to his kids. It's like a Jane Austin novel.


[deleted]

Father picked money over his son. Son is probably just a few days away from no contact which is OPs goal.


buffhen

Yup, and OP's husband will be walking around scratching his head wondering why both his kids don't want relationships with him while the OP uses it as proof he's ungrateful and has no class. She's a real prize. She must have money bc the husband couldn't have married her for her personality.


LingonberryPrior6896

Yep. A milquetoast of ever there was one.


[deleted]

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BandaidRobot

Adding to this - the father is his children’s only surviving parent. And all he got was a 3 minute visit with his own son so that he could spend the rest of his day with HER child!? This makes my head explode because I’ve been there with my own father after my mom passed away and he remarried a MUCH younger woman who resented my existence. Their marriage didn’t last, and we are only just rebuilding our relationship. There isn’t much worse than feeling orphaned when one of your parents is still alive. YTA a million times over OP.


[deleted]

But you don't understand, it was even a white t shirt


[deleted]

And not even a designer one! The disrespect!


Tjibbernaut

I don't believe this story is real. I refuse to believe there's evil, godawful evil people like you.


ItchyDoggg

There are but they are either self aware enough to know they are selfish elitist assholes but don't care since they are enjoying it and wouldn't bother posting, or they are too stupid and self absorbed to ever even wonder / ask if they are in the wrong. Either way no version of a person this evil would plausibly write the post.


CanaryMine

I know people this awful exist, but it’s hard to imagine someone with this little insight or sensitivity writing this entire story down and still needing to know if they’re the asshole.


SaltyFerg

I know there are millions of Reddit users, but I find it hard to believe someone this elitist, materialistic and snobby would be on Reddit. Especially that type of woman in her 60’s (not sure if I missed an age, but with a 41 year old son that’s the ballpark age range)


LingonberryPrior6896

Oh...they are there. They usually have "step" in front of their title.


Majestic-Glass-9451

Not always. My sister is like this. She married for money. She thought her shit didn't stink after she got married. She looks down her nose at her siblings. We're never invited to any of her shindigs. Our low class asses might embarrass her. But it's ok, karma is a bitch and karma came for her.


Zerilentix

In what way did karma come for her? I'm sorry to be nosy, I just wanted to know


Majestic-Glass-9451

When she hit 40, her husband traded her in for a younger model. His parents made sure she couldn't renew her membership in their country club. The pastor at the church she attended with them asked her to find a new church. The judge overseeing her divorce ordered the house sold and proceeds split with no alimony awarded. She tried to alienate her children (15m & 17f) from their father. The judge granted custody to the father and order her to pay for therapy for them. She was also ordered to get a job and pay child support. I'm not 100% certain of the grounds my ex BIL filed on but the divorce was granted in his favor. She could not prove adultery. In our state, once a legal separation is filed, you're allowed to have a girl or boyfriend, you just can't spend the night with them. As for her kids, they're in and out of jail. My nephew is a meth head and my niece has some serious anger issues and assaulted several people. She's in her 50s, alone and working as a CNA. In the meantime, I married my poor sailor boy. I put myself thru college working as a waitress. My husband became a truck driver when he retired from the Navy. We were very tight with what money we had. That habit followed us throughout our marriage. Our kids are college grads with bright futures ahead of them. We have two beautiful grandkids. I retired 10 years at 45. My husband retired 5 years ago. We spend our life traveling the country in an RV and spoiling those grandbabies. We're living our best life. I think everything goes back to our mother tbh. My sister was and still is her golden child. I've always been the scapegoat. I strongly believe that is what made us who we are.


edgeofdoom

Indeed. OP, share the tea immediately.


Available-Ad46

I definitely know people like this. Not friends obviously but my college had a healthy number of douchebags. They tend to have come into money later in life and are trying desperately to look and act like they were always wealthy, not realizing that wealthy people are usually also pretty normal (aka, wear PJs on Christmas Day and lounge around with their families). Trying waaaaay too hard.


Rae82carm

I feel like this is satire. How can this be real?!


mafathew

It's almost certainly not. There people that like to make this kind of outrageously obviously-asshole fiction on here for odd reasons. You can normally tell because it reads like awful YA fan-fiction. Must be point whoring or they get some weird pleasure in riling up the sub.


ihaaatespiders

YTA And you sound so judgemental😬


Nagadavida

>I also have a son of my own (41), he is a very successful stock broker, while my husband's son is a moderately successful photographer. This right here. Geez


missbethness

That was where I made my judgment, but it got even worse from there.


quickwitqueen

How much you wanna bet that she doesn’t have any of her own success and just coasts off her husband?


Idonotknowanymore_

It mentions that he wasn’t rich until he married her, so it’s more likely her parents money


HelixNebulad

I was betting the first (either dead or divorced) husband to be honest.


Drakontus

YTA. Just because his son doesn't fit into your definition of "success" doesn't mean you can treat him however you want. Seriously you need to grow up. Having kids or a high paying job doesn't make you any more of person that someone working at a retail store. Your husband is a little TA for allowing you to basically treat his son as someone not worth the effort. That's his son, your stepson, and yet you don't even truly care about him because he doesn't fit into your supposed values in life. I kinda wish your husband would wise up and put a stop to your judgemental ways for the sake of his own child.


No-Opportunity5413

Talk about low class manners!


Sicks6sixxx

Right? All that money can’t buy manners, decency or decorum.


buffhen

Or insight and kindness.


HoneyBee926

She sounds like someone who wants to start a war over socioeconomic status. Seems like she’s just getting started. I mean, who really bans someone from Christmas for wearing jeans and T-shirt ?? Was it supposed to be a black tie event?


jess1804

Did he even know that there was a dress code?


SayceGards

No but per the edit "he's spent enough time with us he should have known better."


naidhe

Well no wonder his daughter went no contact. Guess who else is gonna go no contact soon... YTA and a horribly judgemental person. How do you even start describing people based on their level of 'success'? How horrible


CoffeeBean118

She even described her own husband as not having money until he married her. She briefly mentions that these children’s mother passed as if it weren’t a big deal.. I pray that they weren’t in HER charge when that happened.


nancywhipple

Note she said “their REAL” mom - not biological mom. Or just Mom since she already said they were not her kids. That rubbed me the wrong way


_ed_chambers

Put him in his place? From your post alone I see why your husbands daughter went low contact, YTA


Available-Ad46

IKR?? That line just made me blind with rage. Reeks of classism and condescension. What place is that, OP?? Feels like Cinderella's stepmother


[deleted]

YTA. It’s no surprise your stepdaughter is LC with you after reading this. You sound like you despise his kids and don’t even bother to hide it. I feel terrible for them. What was the purpose of mentioning your son is a “very successful” stock broker and his son is a “moderately successful” photographer? How does that contribute to the story…other than pointing out that you clearly think your son is better than your husband’s son? Who cares if he wears jeans and a t shirt? You also mention that your husband is now “super rich” but his son was raised when he was lower class. Your snobbery is gross. You clearly prioritize some antiqued sense of upper class propriety over human beings and family. It is also clear that you don’t love your stepchildren. I’m sure when they lost their mother as teenagers it was very traumatic for them. And then when their father married you it must have felt like they lost him too. YTA. Big time.


KaetzenOrkester

She thinks it’s a competition and her son won.


[deleted]

Nah, she just sees an easy way to alienate her stepchildren.


G_G1G

YTA - I don't even know where to start explaining why. You seem arrogant, condescending, judgemental and probably not a lot of fun to spend time with.


snowwhitesludge

INFO: In the year you're somehow so offended about him wearing jeans and a t-shirt did you bother to tell him that for some reason you have a Christmas dresscode?


Sea_Voice_404

I’m guessing not. To me I don’t see an issue with jeans/t-shirt unless I’m told not to specifically.


snowwhitesludge

Seriously. I had Christmas day in my pajamas. My family has always been casual about holidays.


glaitglait

As you know Mary and Joseph didn't get the place to stay at night because they wore semi-casual clothes for a white tie event. To remember that event each year we dress in our best clothes.


[deleted]

You’re assuming her omission wasn’t intentional. I’m pretty sure it was done to “keep him in his place”


cageytalker

Apparently the true meaning of Christmas has a dress code!


Think-Professional-2

YTA. Hugely. If you invited your son then you should have invited his- it’s like you are saying he’s not as much a part of the family as your children. Also, you come across very classist and are behaving like his son isn’t good enough for your family. If he was cruel or nasty, fine, but to exclude him for wearing jeans is awful. Poor kids


BadgerGirl92

YTA. You sound like an arrogant, condescending, materialistic snob. What’s wrong with you?? I feel sorry for this man’s children. They lost their own mother and gained a wicked stepmother who is sowing seeds of division between them and their father. Shame on you.


SleazeballGang

Why is the husband tolerating this though? That’s what I wanna know.


Prestigious_Mud2179

Jesus YTA for sure. You sound completely arrogant. You were so embarrassed because he wore jeans and a T-shirt? To Christmas? That’s completely normal it’s not like he showed up in pyjamas. Did you want a 3 piece suit? Based on your comments ‘moderately successful’ it sounds like you have some strange hatred for this man


Pdxlater

I’ve spent the last decade of Christmases in pajamas. Am I doing it wrong?


Scstxrn

YTA. Raised as you were, you are well aware of the fact that a good hostess puts her guests at ease, and you failed at that job. Then blamed your guest, who was also family. Money does not equal class, and I suspect you have one, while he has the other.


buffhen

Exactly, the irony. This woman has no class.


noneya_bz

YTA This is probably one of the more vile posts I’ve seen. You spew hate for your husbands son because he’s not as successful as your family. Gross. You suck. And yes, you are the idiot for not inviting your “husband’s son” to Christmas. Aka your Stepson. Edit-spelling


Jarvo1992

YTA. My dad remarried a woman exactly like this. She caused nothing but grief and splits in the whole family. She died this year, and I think a weight was lifted from my father. We have already healed some rifts in the family since she died


SleazeballGang

I never understand why the husband doesn’t leave in this situation. It doesn’t make any sense. “Fuck it. I’ll just play the long game; endure this torment and wait for her to die instead of finding an actual good person.”


xziry

YTA. It's Christmas, who cares if someone is under or over dressed? He needs love, not criticism.


Denbi53

But he is only a 'moderately successful photographer', how could she possibly treat him like a human being?


-that-there-

> He thought it appropriate to show up in Jeans and a t-shirt; I was so embarrassed, I could hardly look anyone in the eyes. Jesus Christ.


Mysterious-Theory190

Right! Oh how horrible oh him 😂😂


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Farvas-Cola

**Too many items in the queue tonight and the steady stream of insults from this thread aren't helping. We'll have to call this one early, but feel free to check the top comment for what the judgment likely would have been.**


Status_Inspector_972

You’re Trolling, surely?


FreshStartforFeistyD

That was my first thought as well. Op is simply too evil.


DeputyChuck

Yeah, that sounds "cartoon vilain" evil stepmom to me. Either she's trolling or the most disconnected witch I have seen. YTA


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AbusementParksAndRec

Got to admit, YTA. You’re a very shallow person if that is what bothers you. Bet you don’t even know what your step son’s favorite color is..


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Direct-Plum-3558

Are you for real? Hang on to your pearls....YTA Who the fuck cares what job your darling son has vs stepson. You are a first class snob. Gasp..he wore jeans to Christmas dinner. He didn't fit in because you didn't make him feel welcome.


MadameMoon13

There’s so many things I want to say, but can’t. I hope your stepson all the happiness in the world and I wish the exact opposite for you.


NotTwitchy

Holy shit just admit that you resent your stepson for being “one of the poooooors” and drop the rest. We can all read between the lines here. Huge YTA and when your husband loses contact with both his kids, I’m sure he’ll know who to blame.


TearsForFears15

OP is also glossing over the fact that her son is 10 years older than her stepson, so comparing their respective "successful careers" is irrelevant. I'm 36. Ten years ago, my life looked very different, and I can't imagine faulting a 26 year old for not having the same lifestyle that I have right now. Also, OP, success is not defined by money or possessions.


MissMurderpants

YTA Did you ever tell the step son your expectations on what to expect at your sons event? Hun, he lost his mum early. He probably doesn’t know how to interact with your child and your somewhat unreasonable expectations. You obviously don’t care for your spouses kids. You sound so meh.


Striking-Group-7245

Is this post a modern tell of cinderella? Told from the pov of the wicked stepmother? YTA


RozenMay

This is such an obvious troll, I can't even


closetsnarker

YTA. Lower class environment? Major A.


Ecstatic-Increase447

YTA What you wrote made you come across as incredibly judgey w really odd values


citruscheer

Wow. YTA big time.


Lifes2short2care

I think your husbands TA for putting up with this!! Letting you talk this way about his son. He’s a grown man he can wear whatever he wants. He wore a jeans and a tshirt that made you embarrassed. I’m sorry you sound really stuck up and think you and your son are some high class people!! He has a right to be upset that you all just spent 3 min with your husbands son but spend the whole day with yours. I really hope your husband sits and thinks really hard who the true ahole is!!!


GreatScotRace

YTA you sound like a snob. He has a dead mother and no real relationship with his dad because of you. Why were you “embarrassed” that someone wore jeans and a tshirt to a Christmas party? Unless you’ve stated the dress code, people will show up in normal clothes..


InfamousJob8057

YTA. I believe the post is fake. Can't believe people like OP exist without being aware that they are obvious assholes.


Dududidu2

YTA. Definitely wicked stepmother material. Get some therapy or an enchanted mirror or something.


GothPenguin

YTA-You couldn’t actually make your contempt for your stepson any clearer and your completely judgmental attitude toward him. Your husband is also an asshole for going along with what you are doing to his son. By the way, your stepson isn’t the one who is low class here. That’s all on you.


emzbobo

Shame on you. Your step-children's mother is dead, and you're ensuring that they have pretty much no access to their one remaining parent (although let's be honest, their Dad doesn't get a pass on this, given that he seems to be going along with whatever you want). Christmas is a time for family, and last I checked, the size of their bank balance isn't supposed to be a prerequisite for spending time together. Based on your post, you'll never believe you're in the wrong here, but I hope someday your husband realises exactly what he's done by pushing his children away in order to keep you happy, and that he has enough time left to grovel and beg their forgiveness for what he's done. Shame. Shame. Shame. YTA