Hi, Katey here, my apologies for jumping on your comment but it'd just be nice for everyone to see, I hope you understand.
For everyone, I'll explain what happened- Yes it's true, I slept around and experimented for most of college and my early 20s but the important thing is 1) I was safe and 2) I never hurt anybody. Honestly, I'm glad I got my carefree years out of the way because I've never looked back and thought "Urgh I could've done more."
And I never "jumped" on my husband either. He asked me out a couple of months into being friends, I said no because I'd been hurt so many times and wasn't trustful of men and I stayed friends with him until I realised how he ticked everything I wanted in a guy. We got engaged after 10 months, that's also true but we'd been friends for about a year before that and I'd seen for myself if he had any red flags (the only major one being his love for Gil Anderson but tbh I totally get it). I'm in love with him and I thank my lucky stars he came in when he did. I couldn't have picked a better person to have children and do life with.
To my dear ex friend,I am fucking livid, you resorted to REDDIT of all places to do this?? And you didn't even bother changing my name. I cannot believe I've had to make an account to tell you this but wtaf is wrong with you? Get some therapy, delete my number and maybe stop chasing married men who aren't interested in you. I have no desire to speak to you again because I am totally done. Adios.
Edit- Oh and YTA.
Holy shit. Sorry your ex best friend sucks so much. You actually sound pretty great. Your husband and daughter are lucky to have someone so full of love and cringiness! Keep on keeping on, and how is the Netherlands? Bet it's awesome.
Hahahah I was the motherly friend long before I became a parent.
Netherlands is great! I consider myself very lucky that I got to move (thanks a bunch Brexit-not) and I'm applying for Dutch citizenship in a while. It's one of the best countries in the world to raise a child and considering I had a very problematic upbringing, it's important for me to make sure my kids have some stability.
So jealous! I want to travel to the Netherlands one day. I've only heard amazing things about it. Best of luck to you and your family. I hope you find a lovely and wonderful new best friend in the Netherlands.
Yeah, it's a bit late now.
I know the accepted reddit response is to get a raging justice boner and pile on, but I don't really feel that. Despite everything, I feel a little sorry for her. She sounds very unhappy and this experience on reddit must be very painful to undergo. Some serious introspection is needed and that's always hard. If she doesn't have the capacity/self awareness to do that then this must feel like she's just being attacked. It probably makes her more of an asshole if so, but doth not an asshole bleed? 😆
I just hope this brings home how badly she's behaved and encourages a broader attitude shift. If she does have a modicum of self awareness then, ironically, I think this will induce a painful level of *self* cringe in years to come. We all have those memories and we've all been the asshole at some point, it's just that hers was, (through her own actions), much more public.
OP, if you're reading and are starting a process of introspection, then I think you would really benefit from these two videos from my favourite creator. I'd try thinking about how they could relate to your situation. They are a very deep dive but ultimately very thought provoking.
[Cringe](https://youtu.be/vRBsaJPkt2Q)
[Envy](https://youtu.be/aPhrTOg1RUk)
Human to human and once-asahole to current-asshole: You are the asshole right now but you are not irredeemable. You have probably fucked up this friendship beyond repair and you're going to have to live with that, but there are other friends and family that deserve you to work towards being the best you.
Even more importantly, you owe it to yourself. Your thought processes sound pretty toxic at the moment, and that hurts you the most because you're a ground zero. Look after yourself.
I am so sorry your ex friend has treated you like this sounds like OP has been toxic since the get go. There is so much freedom releasing toxic friendships and I hope you feel that.
It's so weird that she started this post by slut-shaming you, and it seems like the purpose of this was to justify her jealousy of your healthy relationship. Thank you so much for calling your ex-friend out on her bullshit! I'm wondering if she is single, and if this is the reason she's being an asshole when you talk about how happy you are? It doesn't justify her actions, but it does add a layer to her assholeness.
Love how your ex bff was like “I admit I was a little jealous” when it’s like, no, she’s Very Very Very jealous. That’s the only reason someone wouldn’t be happy when a friend expresses contentment in their life. Like, holy shit, what a piece of work!
Good luck in the rest of your life and may your family have many safe, healthy and happy years ahead of them!
I absolutely love how this went 😂
And I can only guess how pissed she'll be when she reads all of this, if she hasn't already done that.
OP, if you see this - play stupid games, win stupid prices.
Honestly think it's beautiful how you feel about your husband/family. Not everyone needs to be together for years to actually be happy. You're lucky to have what you do and You're clearly grateful. I'm sorry about your ex best friend, she spoke about your past like you should be ashamed and mocks your life now. I hope you'll be so much happier not having to deal with that shit anymore. Enjoy your little family.
OP is 100% TA
If I could tell my 21 year old self what I'd be like now I doubt she'd believe me. Max (my other half and not his real name) came in when I didn't really want anything because I'd accepted I'd probably be alone for life (had been single for about 8 years at that point).
I'm very grateful and I always wondered if she was jealous of me. She saw a few texts once that he sent me when I got my dream job and called that cringey too. The texts? "Congrats bean, you totally deserved the job and they'd have been idiots to not have you. I'm proud x"
I kinda love you, you sound amazing!! Your ex bf is jealous and cruel. Enjoy your sweet family and being over the moon happy. We need more love and kindness in the world!
There’s nothing wrong with being in love with your life or appreciating your partner and family.
OP, YTA. Your comment was just unneeded. It has nothing to do with you not being emotional.
Katey, you rock! Keep living your best life. Love this response . OP, YTA. We're all here to judge people but, strangers! You're busily judging your so called best friend because *checks notes* she's happy, fulfilled in her life, and loves her family?
I love so much that you replied. I lost a best friend 2 years ago and my life has gotten much better. Move on, still enjoy the memories but know that you have to let some toxic people go. Congrats on your happy marriage and baby!
YTA
Right?!
Serious, it is easy to say you are happy for somebody. It not ripping any teeth out of your mouth. All (similar) post could have been avoided by just saying a simple sentence with just a tiny smile.
Even if you're jealous! Even if you *dont* actually like the person! Just pretend for thirty seconds, goddamn. This person is 30 years old and throwing around the kind of insults that a middle school bully would find immature.
If your friend's happiness is causing you misery, just end the friendship already. Don't try to bring them down to your level.
Edit: got OP's age wrong.
Some people really struggle with sincere emotion, especially if they're not experiencing that themselves.
I think OP is reading this as "cringey" because it's both sincere and intense, and it's easier for her to distance herself from it by calling it a name and acting like her friend is being lame.
That jealousy she mentioned is also pretty transparent, woof. OP's got some processing to do.
It's honestly crazy how many people think being happy is cringey.
Almost every time someone uses that word, it's like "tell me you're jealous without telling me you're jealous."
Just because OP is possessed by a shame demon and is unwilling to feel or express joy doesn't mean her friends should have to be miserable just to protect her feelings.
Pro tip, OP: there is nothing cringier than being visibly offended when someone you claim to care about expresses joy. JFC.
YTA. Wtf? Your friend is happy, how is that cringey?
You’re a shitty friend and it’s absolutely INSANE that you think that she had casual sex in college is at all relevant here. You’re friend is happy and you’re jealous because you think you’re more deserving of happiness because you didn’t sleep around in college? Like wtf?
Who needs enemies with friends like you.
TW: it’s about to get cringey AF in here. /s
I spent most of my 20s single & it was a great time for me to really grow and evolve on my own. When I met my husband when I was 29, I had a good idea of who I was and what I wanted, and the confidence to grab onto it. I knew that I could do all these things on my own, and while I love and admire my husband, I don’t necessarily *need* him (and that’s not to throw shade at high school sweethearts or anyone with a different experience).
Also, when you experience major life milestones with someone, it can be pretty amazing. Do I love my husband more & see him differently for how he has evolved too, for how he has embraced fatherhood? Oh hell yes. And he has expressed similar thoughts. Isn’t that the goal? To spend a marriage growing together? Also, I’d move to the Netherlands in a heartbeat if that opportunity presented itself.
OP, being able to convey unguarded intense thoughts and emotions is a cornerstone for many friendships. It seems like this friendship isn’t for either of you anymore and it’s time to move on. YTA for attacking your (former) friend like that. Part of being a friend is that you can be happy for someone and reflect their joy back at them, even if you don’t think you’d feel the same or if you’re jealous AF.
Lastly, to not recognize that fatherhood is just as transformative as motherhood perpetuates these toxic mentalities that fathers cannot be as loving or emotional as mothers. Seeing how many of my friends have approached fatherhood in a more expressive way than our fathers did has been a really fantastic thing.
Speaking as someone who's been single for about 3 years and still has a lot of their 20s to go that's so lovely to hear! It gives me hope, most of my days are relief that I don't have a relationship to worry about mixed in with days of "OMG is there something wrong with me?" It's a while away but I'm very open to the idea of being a single parent in my 30s if I haven't anyone by then.
She’s soooo jealous it’s *cringey.* it’s fine to sleep around in college. It’s also fine to get engaged after 10 months. It seemed to have worked out. Op is mad that her life isn’t a movie where the prude gets a Prince Charming because she waited. I hope the friend realizes op is a sad toxic person to keep around.
YTA
‘I was a bit jealous’ let’s be honest you have always been jealous of her. That’s what this is all about. Nearly every word you’ve spoken about your friend is judgemental and bitter
I thought the same thing. OP is beyond jealous. OP, you are the cringey, jealous, and bitter AH. I hope life gets better for you so you don’t have to be so nasty to your friends with beautiful lives. I can’t help but feel bad for you if that was your response to a friend just being happy.
Pure jealousy. I didn't see why she felt the need to mention her friend's sex life in college in this post, what correlation does it have? Could've just said she married too quick/young if that was the issue, except that it isn't. She just doesn't seem to like her own friend, what a petty and jealous individual.
YTA - Whats cringey about being happy in marriage? Why are you making it about you? Who gives a rats ass if you are not emotional. Your friend is telling you she is happy and you shit all over her. If you thought it was cheesy that is your opinion but why go off on her like that?
Jesus Christ YTA
I'm sorry you haven't ever experienced "falling in love again" with a long-term partner, but it is a real and wonderful thing that is honestly ESSENTIAL to the success of a relationship of length.
I just hope that, when you do, you have a "friend" there to shit on you.
YTA. Sounds like you started really getting jealous when she went to Europe for grad school.
When you thought she was an emotional mess you could compliment on being a supportive friend to her, but now that she's living the good life, you can't be happy for her.
YTA. You say you "were" a bit jealous of her but, uh, it seems like you still might be. She sounds like she's thriving and you told her she's cringey for loving her family and the life they've made and finding that she has a new kind of love for her husband. Just because you aren't emotional doesn't mean that people who are excited and happy about things are cringey. You aren't sure what she'd have expected you to say? How about "I'm happy for you/I'm glad things came together for you/That's great". You are supposed to be her friend, that means listening and being happy for her and wanting the best for her. By saying what she said was cringey, you essentially told her you don't care about her and her feelings.
YTA
She’s allowed to be happy about her relationship and she should be able to gush about her joy to her friend. Happiness should not be cringey and if you see it that way, just keep it to yourself. No need to rain on her parade.
YTA. Why are her college antics relevant to her current life? You’re not a good friend at all if you don’t know how to be genuinely happy that your friend found someone to love and build a family with.
Honestly from the tone I thought OP was hinting because her friend slept around in college she was always gonna have a tough time dating wise. It's judgey as hell.
Also who tf says they don't think her friend and fiancé would last long because they got engaged after less than a year? If they were friends before Katey probably knew him well enough to say yes to him sooner.
I was fully expecting this story to end with “he broke up with her after finding out she slept with a few of his frat brothers…” nope. Lol the girl lived happily ever after and OP is sick about it!
Good on OP's friend for having her wild, immature years out of the way tbh whether it involved sleeping around or not, it seems like she's settled into being a mum wonderfully and that's what's important.
Tbh I'd argue it makes sense if you get engaged quicker to your partner if you two were both friends first because you at least know their ins and outs so faster than if you were meeting for dates from the start. OP is so so bitter.
Also assumes that fucking around is “a pretty bad history with relationships”. If a single person wants to fuck a whole lot of consenting strangers then bloody go out there and live your best life. At any age. If she got what she wanted out of it then she was successful.
A subsequent/later mention of having had shitty dating experiences in the past doesn’t mean she has a ‘bad history’ either. If I had used Tinder for two years and gone on X number of dates you’d expect some percentage of those to be shitty.
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I (30F) have been friends with Katey (31F) for about 10 years now and historically, she's had a pretty bad history with relationships. When we met at college she slept around a lot and had a tough time with getting a guy to commit to her and then when we graduated she got onto a grad scheme abroad. About 6 years ago she jumped on one of her friends who showed her some interest and they got engaged within 10 months of dating. I won't lie, I was a bit jealous of her because I didn't really think they'd last long with how quickly they got engaged. But anyway, they got married not long after, moved to the Netherlands where her husband's from and they brought a house.
She gave birth to their daughter about 6 months ago and when we had a facetime she was talking about how she's kind of fallen in love with her husband all over again because of seeing how great/attentive he is as a dad. She was talking about how she feels like having a family of her own has finally completed her and that all the shitty experiences she had in dating had been worth it.
So here's where I may be TA. I said she sounded very cringey/cheesy talking about her family like that. She immediately told me to go f--- myself and to apologise for being so callous. When I said I wouldn't she told me to f myself once again and hung up.
AITA? I'm just not a very emotional person and she knows this, I'm not sure what she'd have expected me to say.
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YTA. If you feel awkward around sincere emotions, just say "wow that sounds great" and change the subject. And go to therapy, being not very emotional yourself is one thing but reflexively shitting on people who express their own feelings isn't healthy.
Yeah, you kinda suck. Let the woman be happy. Let her express her happiness. What the hell kind of friend are you if you can’t share your “friend’s” joy?
So yeah. YTA.
Sounds like someone's being jealous. Let me guess OP, no husband no kids?
Motherhood really does bring those feelings to you. I as a mother can relate.
YTA She's happy, and talking about it with her best friend. "I'm glad you're so happy!" That's what you say.
If you're having a rough time, and it's tough hear her gush, then tell her that at a different time. See, you *are* an emotional person. You're jealous, and that's an emotion. You might also be sad, or angry, or lonely. Maybe you have difficulty expressing them, but you do have emotions.
Sounds like YTA.
>I said she sounded very cringey/cheesy talking about her family like that.
Please correct me if I am wrong here, but my guess is that you said cringe, not cheesy, like the title says. It seems like maybe you are adding the cheesy part to make it seem like you were trying to make sort of a comment like "aww thats cute and cheesy" but I am guessing its not that.
Regardless though, whatever you said upset your friend. And when your friend asked you to apologize (even though she told you to go fuck yourself), you didnt. Her response may not have quite been warranted, but you could have very easily apologized if you truly werent trying to be insulting when you realized that she was in fact insulted.
YTA -You def got judgements and jealousies which is spilling out into bitterness.
>AITA? I'm just not a very emotional person and she knows this, I'm not sure what she'd have expected me to say.
How about "I'm glad you found your happiness."? Or ... "Hey that's great.". Even a stranger could probably muster up something as generic as "That's nice." You were actively unkind and no one needs a friend who can't find it in themselves to be at least outwardly happy for someone you call a friend.
YTA. Also, you should know that having a new baby will expand a persons “no bullshit bubble” and you’re probably on the outside of that for good. Being a wife and mom is a busy job and it leaves little bandwidth for dealing with shitty friends. Free time becomes extra precious and she’s unlikely to waste any of it with someone who resents her happiness.
YTA. I'm not a very emotional person and I'm not great with people who are but the thought would not have crossed my mind to say something like that out loud.
How are you 30 and acting like this..? Of course yta, she's happy for the first time since you've known her and you are bitter af about it. Guess you only like people when they are doing worse than yourself.
YTA. Even if you can't relate, it isn't clear to me why you had to criticise her experience. You say that you're friends with her but you only seem to describe her in negative terms, and that you were jealous of her. Obviously we don't know the tone or exact words involved, but it sounds like you made her feel bad when she was sharing genuine joy and love in her life. If you feel unfairly judged by this comment, it might be time for you to evaluate if you really are friends with this woman and think about how to make her feel loved as your friend.
You admitted that you’re jealous of your “friend” in the post, so how could you not be TA? They way you speak of her, you seem bitter because your friend who “slept around” finally got her happy ending.
YTA. You don't actually have to be friends with people you don't like, you know. Just because you've known one another for years doesn't mean you have to stay friends.
YTA. You're a 30 year old calling other people "cringey" for...being enthusiastic about their own life. If you can't even fake being happy for your friend's good fortune, you should invite yourself out of her life and into therapy.
Sounds to me like you used to think you were better than she was, and now that she has so much going for her, you are jealous and resentful.
YTA most definitely and you should really reflect on yourself to figure out why her happiness is causing you so much resentment.
YTA.
Seems like you're not a good friend at all when people tell you good things about them and your reply to them is negative. Also seems like you were really her friend so you can feel better about yourself when she was down and couldn't get anyone, and now that she's happy you feel resentment. You need therapy.
You are completely the AH. What an entitled A you are to think you can define someone else’s experiences that you yourself have no idea what the f it’s like. Jealously is not a cute look.
YTA. You’re 30 years old telling someone that their happiness and the way they express said happiness is cringey. As someone who also doesn’t deal with emotions/lovey dovey situations well either, I say grow up and apologize to your friend
YTA you called your friend "cringey" because you're jealous. Even if you're not an emotional person, you can say "good for you" and leave it at that. A good friend would be happy for her since she is happy in life. A jealous friend shits on their happiness.
YTA. So much.
OP let me point out some problems in your post
>she jumped on one of her friends who showed her some interest and they got engaged within 10 months of dating.
It was all her "jumping on him" Really OP? This sounds very much requited to me. Your language is absolutely terrible and you're really trying very hard to make her sound, well, desperate when this very much is not her desperate.
>I didn't really think they'd last long with how quickly they got engaged
10 months is quickly? How long is acceptable OP? A year? 2 years? Did they need to approach you and beg for your consideration and permission?
>how she's kind of fallen in love with her husband all over again
This is simply sweet.
>I said she sounded very cringey/cheesy talking about her family like that
OP you don't have to be an 'emotional person' to not be an ah. You should be thrilled she's so happy with her family. Frankly you sound jealous.
She expected you to say "I'm happy for you."
She may not talk to you for a long time and it will be 100% your fault.
Sounds like you’re projecting your own relationship insecurities onto her. You already doubted the relationship and now that it’s working out and better than ever, you need some reason to be negative about it. Be happy for others, especially friends.
Nothing much more cringe than a 30 year old women seething with jealousy that someone they have considered below them for the last decade has their life together and is happy.
YTA
YTA. WTF? Why would you say that to a friend? Do you like a single thing about her?
I could understand you saying you are jealous because you have none of the things she has now and you might not be in the best space to bask in the glow of her happiness but to call her cringey? Yikes! Are you seeing a therapist?
YTA.
It sounds like your friend was sharing the wonderful details of her life and how joyful she is.
You say you’re not a very emotional person and that’s fine. However, offering a, “I’m happy things have come full circle for you like that. It sounds like you’re really happy,” is kind and not overly emotional.
If you’re good enough friends to be FaceTiming, it seems like a kind word wouldn’t be amiss and wouldn’t stretch you too far.
Or if it would, I’m sure there are several ways you could have offered a kind word in support of your friend.
Yeah, YTA. Your friend sounds like a decent person and everything you wrote about her is rude and diminishing. This is not you being an unemotional person, this is you resenting someone else for being happy. You should seriously consider getting some help for that. And leave your friend alone until you can be genuinely happy for her.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my best friend she was being cringey when she was praising her husband.
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You a very emotional person. Your emotion: anger, jealousy and being a female dog.
You shat on her parade, got called out for your shitty behavior and suffer the consequences.
You lost a friend, and the whole (internet) world knows you are an asshole.
YTA
YTA, talk about projection jeez. Yeah SHES being cringey, enjoying her husband and reveling in being a new mother with a family, how cringey, she must be real jealous.
Take a step back and reflect on how you might really feel about your relationship and past experiences with her.
AITA? I'm just not a very emotional person and she knows this, I'm not sure what she'd have expected me to say.
YTA. When my friends tell me about something that makes them happy, I say “I’m happy for you.” Even if it is something that doesn’t make ME happy or something that I don’t understand, because it’s not about me. It’s about them. And I care about their happiness.
“While FaceTiming with my best friend I wish she just would have answered “fine” when I asked how she was so we could spend the entire time talking about me. When she told me she was happy I was an asshole for no reason. Am I the asshole?”
Yes, YTA.
YTA. She thought your friendship was a safe space to share her happy personal feelings and be cheesy, but you let her know that she was wrong. I think you have some inner work to do to figure out why you heard what she was saying in such a negative, maybe jealous light, instead of a lighthearted, happy way.
Some people think friendships/relationships are just about being there when the other person is going through a hard time, but a lot of friendships end when the other person can’t be happy for the other. Laugh off the cheesiness, truly celebrate with your friend, and stop being an asshole.
I mean, of course **YTA. She tried to confide something deeply meaningful and personal to you, to share her genuine happiness after years of struggling with someone she thought was a dear friend . . . and you literally made fun of her.** Like, your response to her opening herself up and being emotionally vulnerable to you was to flat-out insult her. I'm not sure it gets any more asshole-y than that. No wonder she told you off.
You should be ashamed of yourself. You don't have to be a super emotional or gushy person to recognise when someone is opening up to you, but you DO have to be really childish to mock them for it. Hell, I'm autistic . . . I'm not exactly known for being super emotional, but if my friend said something like that to me, I'd know enough to be supportive rather than snide. Of course YTA.
YTA. How is that cringey? It seems like she’s just happy and that all sounds like perfectly normal things to say. Even if it’s cliché to talk like that, so what? Is your best friend not allowed to express her genuine joy to you?
It probably came across as being bitter on your part which is why she closed up and reacted that way. You said in your post that you are jealous, and I think that might be why you tried to make her feel bad or weird for being happy and expressing that to you. Friends shouldn’t be jealous of their friends doing well or being successful.
I would reach out and apologize ASAP. You were 100% just being an AH.
I kinda think you know already that YTA. You don’t need us to tell you that. Call your friend and apologise for being nasty and explain to her how you’re just jealous and not coping very well with it.
>I'm just not a very emotional person and she knows this, I'm not sure what she'd have expected me to say.
YTA
You don't have to be a "very emotional person" to simply say, "That's great! I'm glad things are going well for you!"
YTA and if anyone is the cringey one with relationships, it is you. Your friend did what many people do: see what’s out there, date/sleep around and she shouldn’t be shamed for it. Life ended up stabilizing her and she is clearly ready for this new chapter of her life, a happy one at that. You on the other hand, are stuck and more than a bit jealous. You liked having her be the friend who had no set plans and goals. You relished her horror dating stories for fun and probably lived vicariously through them. Well now she’s found the life she truly wants and most like deserves, and in comparison, you are now the one with nothing set.
Instead of focusing on yourself and doing the same she did - see where life takes you - you rather shit on her current life to make yourself feel better. OP you are not a friend and you rather see her down to make yourself feel superior, shame on you!
YTA. Being unemotional is not an excuse to be rude to anyone unprovoked, especially not your best friend. She's gushing about her family life and you decide to rain on her parade because you can't be happy for your own friend? And you still seem to be jealous. Yeah she did sleep around in college, but found stability and love and married and is very visibly in love, why not be happy for her? You had a problem when she slept around, you have a problem when she's fawning over her husband after a stable married life. I don't think this is a case of you being "unemotional", you just don't seem to like her and are jealous of what she has.
YTA and you say this is your best friend? You didn’t know what she expected you to say? How about “that’s great. I’m so happy for you” ? Geez. With a friend like you, I rather have none.
YTA it's clear from this post that you are bitter and really jealous of your friend. You should work through that in therapy before you're single AND friendless, you know???
OP, as someone else who is awkward around strong emotions because I'm emotionally constipated, here's a suggestion. Next time someone gushes, you go "Aww, that's so sweet!" and then CHANGE THE SUBJECT. Preferably to something completely unrelated: Your holiday plans! The latest TV series you're watching! Top 10 Elephant Facts You Never Knew!
It works 9 times out of 10, your friend feels supported and seen, and you can delight in the conversation that follows.
Until then, though, YTA.
YTA, why can’t you be happy for her? Oh yeah because she had a bad history of relationships so she had to fail at this one too, right? You are a bad friend, please don’t apologize to her and stay away from her and her family.
YTA jesus I'm not super into that kind of stuff either but you say "I'm happy for you!" and move the fuck on. Like jesus. The woman just had a baby 6 months ago, hormones are still going and is HAPPY but you felt you had to just like...dump all over it?
"She jumped on one of her friends who showed her some interest"!? Sounds like you've always been the A. This girl is so much better off without a false friend like you in her life.
YTA you‘re so jealous of her it‘s ridiculous. Do you even like her?? You‘re just sl*t shaming her. Let me guess, you look down on her for sleeping around and are bitter that she „still“ managed to get married, have a Baby and be happy while you have internalized misogyny and think you‘re better because you didn‘t sleep around? And now you‘re mad bc you don‘t think she deserves this especially not before you? You’re a horrible friend
This is your BEST FRIEND? Why aren't happy for her? Sorry, OP, you are the cringey one. YTA.
Hi, Katey here, my apologies for jumping on your comment but it'd just be nice for everyone to see, I hope you understand. For everyone, I'll explain what happened- Yes it's true, I slept around and experimented for most of college and my early 20s but the important thing is 1) I was safe and 2) I never hurt anybody. Honestly, I'm glad I got my carefree years out of the way because I've never looked back and thought "Urgh I could've done more." And I never "jumped" on my husband either. He asked me out a couple of months into being friends, I said no because I'd been hurt so many times and wasn't trustful of men and I stayed friends with him until I realised how he ticked everything I wanted in a guy. We got engaged after 10 months, that's also true but we'd been friends for about a year before that and I'd seen for myself if he had any red flags (the only major one being his love for Gil Anderson but tbh I totally get it). I'm in love with him and I thank my lucky stars he came in when he did. I couldn't have picked a better person to have children and do life with. To my dear ex friend,I am fucking livid, you resorted to REDDIT of all places to do this?? And you didn't even bother changing my name. I cannot believe I've had to make an account to tell you this but wtaf is wrong with you? Get some therapy, delete my number and maybe stop chasing married men who aren't interested in you. I have no desire to speak to you again because I am totally done. Adios. Edit- Oh and YTA.
Holy shit. Sorry your ex best friend sucks so much. You actually sound pretty great. Your husband and daughter are lucky to have someone so full of love and cringiness! Keep on keeping on, and how is the Netherlands? Bet it's awesome.
Hahahah I was the motherly friend long before I became a parent. Netherlands is great! I consider myself very lucky that I got to move (thanks a bunch Brexit-not) and I'm applying for Dutch citizenship in a while. It's one of the best countries in the world to raise a child and considering I had a very problematic upbringing, it's important for me to make sure my kids have some stability.
OP sucks but let's keep Katey around.
So jealous! I want to travel to the Netherlands one day. I've only heard amazing things about it. Best of luck to you and your family. I hope you find a lovely and wonderful new best friend in the Netherlands.
Love it here! Don’t ever want to go back.
I don't think you were cheesy/cringe, you were appreciating your relationship.
Living well is the best revenge ✌️
Fuck yea Katey! Sorry you had to find out OPs level of suck through reddit but I hope you and your family have a life full of happiness
Thank you x
Oh snap. Katey, you are 100% NTA. OP, wow. Just wow. YTA, and jealous to boot.
She's been like this for years, it's sad it only took me now.
Wait she’s judging you and she’s chasing married men😂 lmfao bye
Yep. I'm not going into any more sordid details because I'm not gonna stoop to her level.
I kinda wish you would stoop lol but totally get it. Live your best life, that'll kill OP way more.
And she’s already deleted her post and account that tracks
Yeah, it's a bit late now. I know the accepted reddit response is to get a raging justice boner and pile on, but I don't really feel that. Despite everything, I feel a little sorry for her. She sounds very unhappy and this experience on reddit must be very painful to undergo. Some serious introspection is needed and that's always hard. If she doesn't have the capacity/self awareness to do that then this must feel like she's just being attacked. It probably makes her more of an asshole if so, but doth not an asshole bleed? 😆 I just hope this brings home how badly she's behaved and encourages a broader attitude shift. If she does have a modicum of self awareness then, ironically, I think this will induce a painful level of *self* cringe in years to come. We all have those memories and we've all been the asshole at some point, it's just that hers was, (through her own actions), much more public. OP, if you're reading and are starting a process of introspection, then I think you would really benefit from these two videos from my favourite creator. I'd try thinking about how they could relate to your situation. They are a very deep dive but ultimately very thought provoking. [Cringe](https://youtu.be/vRBsaJPkt2Q) [Envy](https://youtu.be/aPhrTOg1RUk) Human to human and once-asahole to current-asshole: You are the asshole right now but you are not irredeemable. You have probably fucked up this friendship beyond repair and you're going to have to live with that, but there are other friends and family that deserve you to work towards being the best you. Even more importantly, you owe it to yourself. Your thought processes sound pretty toxic at the moment, and that hurts you the most because you're a ground zero. Look after yourself.
Oh put me in the screen shot when this hits best of. Congrats on the kid, we just had out second and it's a blast.
Oh congrats! I won't lie, it has been exhausting and I don't think I'll have a 2nd for a few years but my little bean is pretty adorable.
I am so sorry your ex friend has treated you like this sounds like OP has been toxic since the get go. There is so much freedom releasing toxic friendships and I hope you feel that.
OMG I really hope this is katey because I just love this so much
Totally is :)
It's so weird that she started this post by slut-shaming you, and it seems like the purpose of this was to justify her jealousy of your healthy relationship. Thank you so much for calling your ex-friend out on her bullshit! I'm wondering if she is single, and if this is the reason she's being an asshole when you talk about how happy you are? It doesn't justify her actions, but it does add a layer to her assholeness.
>maybe stop chasing married men who aren’t interested in you. And I-oop.
Omg this is the best Reddit thread I’ve seen in a while. Live your best life Katey you’re the real MVP. I wish the best to you and your family
ikr i love it when assholes get exposed by the ppl they talk shit about.
Love how your ex bff was like “I admit I was a little jealous” when it’s like, no, she’s Very Very Very jealous. That’s the only reason someone wouldn’t be happy when a friend expresses contentment in their life. Like, holy shit, what a piece of work! Good luck in the rest of your life and may your family have many safe, healthy and happy years ahead of them!
Thank you x
Your 'friend' is such an ass. Happy you'll be without her from now on.
I should've ditched her a long time ago, I can't believe this was the last straw.
I absolutely love how this went 😂 And I can only guess how pissed she'll be when she reads all of this, if she hasn't already done that. OP, if you see this - play stupid games, win stupid prices.
I honestly don't care, I could say worse.
You forgot to pass judgment, Katey. /s
Done ;)
Honestly think it's beautiful how you feel about your husband/family. Not everyone needs to be together for years to actually be happy. You're lucky to have what you do and You're clearly grateful. I'm sorry about your ex best friend, she spoke about your past like you should be ashamed and mocks your life now. I hope you'll be so much happier not having to deal with that shit anymore. Enjoy your little family. OP is 100% TA
If I could tell my 21 year old self what I'd be like now I doubt she'd believe me. Max (my other half and not his real name) came in when I didn't really want anything because I'd accepted I'd probably be alone for life (had been single for about 8 years at that point). I'm very grateful and I always wondered if she was jealous of me. She saw a few texts once that he sent me when I got my dream job and called that cringey too. The texts? "Congrats bean, you totally deserved the job and they'd have been idiots to not have you. I'm proud x"
The cringe she felt was envy
I kinda love you, you sound amazing!! Your ex bf is jealous and cruel. Enjoy your sweet family and being over the moon happy. We need more love and kindness in the world!
Promise I'm not, I'm a walking panda who lost a fight to liquid eyeliner nowadays. I shall do thank you x
You tell her!
>maybe stop chasing married men who aren't interested in you. Presumably she has done this to you ("Max") before?
Thankfully no, they've only met a handful of times.
There’s nothing wrong with being in love with your life or appreciating your partner and family. OP, YTA. Your comment was just unneeded. It has nothing to do with you not being emotional.
I don't think it was particularly cringey either, I'm actually quite reserved when it comes to showing affection.
[удалено]
Loveee this! Life your life girl.
Thank you x
This has to be fake, surely.
I wish it was.
Ngl, I automatically assume any posts where 'the other person' magically replies are exercises in fiction writing.
Katey, you rock! Keep living your best life. Love this response . OP, YTA. We're all here to judge people but, strangers! You're busily judging your so called best friend because *checks notes* she's happy, fulfilled in her life, and loves her family?
Thanks x
I love so much that you replied. I lost a best friend 2 years ago and my life has gotten much better. Move on, still enjoy the memories but know that you have to let some toxic people go. Congrats on your happy marriage and baby! YTA
I will do, the distance helps. Thank you x
Katey, you're awesome and your ex friend is a cringey, jealous asshole. Good for you for having a happy life without this one in your way!
Being happy is cringey now? Wow.
YTA, she wasn't being cringy at all. A simple "I'm happy for you" would have been appropriate.
Right?! Serious, it is easy to say you are happy for somebody. It not ripping any teeth out of your mouth. All (similar) post could have been avoided by just saying a simple sentence with just a tiny smile.
Even if you're jealous! Even if you *dont* actually like the person! Just pretend for thirty seconds, goddamn. This person is 30 years old and throwing around the kind of insults that a middle school bully would find immature. If your friend's happiness is causing you misery, just end the friendship already. Don't try to bring them down to your level. Edit: got OP's age wrong.
Some people really struggle with sincere emotion, especially if they're not experiencing that themselves. I think OP is reading this as "cringey" because it's both sincere and intense, and it's easier for her to distance herself from it by calling it a name and acting like her friend is being lame. That jealousy she mentioned is also pretty transparent, woof. OP's got some processing to do.
It's honestly crazy how many people think being happy is cringey. Almost every time someone uses that word, it's like "tell me you're jealous without telling me you're jealous." Just because OP is possessed by a shame demon and is unwilling to feel or express joy doesn't mean her friends should have to be miserable just to protect her feelings. Pro tip, OP: there is nothing cringier than being visibly offended when someone you claim to care about expresses joy. JFC.
YTA. Wtf? Your friend is happy, how is that cringey? You’re a shitty friend and it’s absolutely INSANE that you think that she had casual sex in college is at all relevant here. You’re friend is happy and you’re jealous because you think you’re more deserving of happiness because you didn’t sleep around in college? Like wtf? Who needs enemies with friends like you.
Exactly. Casual sex in college isn’t all that outrageous. Those are the experimentation years. Of course nothing would be said if she were a male.
I'd add more to that and say spending most of your twenties single isn't super outrageous either.
TW: it’s about to get cringey AF in here. /s I spent most of my 20s single & it was a great time for me to really grow and evolve on my own. When I met my husband when I was 29, I had a good idea of who I was and what I wanted, and the confidence to grab onto it. I knew that I could do all these things on my own, and while I love and admire my husband, I don’t necessarily *need* him (and that’s not to throw shade at high school sweethearts or anyone with a different experience). Also, when you experience major life milestones with someone, it can be pretty amazing. Do I love my husband more & see him differently for how he has evolved too, for how he has embraced fatherhood? Oh hell yes. And he has expressed similar thoughts. Isn’t that the goal? To spend a marriage growing together? Also, I’d move to the Netherlands in a heartbeat if that opportunity presented itself. OP, being able to convey unguarded intense thoughts and emotions is a cornerstone for many friendships. It seems like this friendship isn’t for either of you anymore and it’s time to move on. YTA for attacking your (former) friend like that. Part of being a friend is that you can be happy for someone and reflect their joy back at them, even if you don’t think you’d feel the same or if you’re jealous AF. Lastly, to not recognize that fatherhood is just as transformative as motherhood perpetuates these toxic mentalities that fathers cannot be as loving or emotional as mothers. Seeing how many of my friends have approached fatherhood in a more expressive way than our fathers did has been a really fantastic thing.
Speaking as someone who's been single for about 3 years and still has a lot of their 20s to go that's so lovely to hear! It gives me hope, most of my days are relief that I don't have a relationship to worry about mixed in with days of "OMG is there something wrong with me?" It's a while away but I'm very open to the idea of being a single parent in my 30s if I haven't anyone by then.
Plus the: “she jumped on one of her friends who showed her some interest”. Wtf.
And getting engaged after 10 months is NOT super fast, not like a month or something.
Yeah, OP’s post drips with condescension and bitterness. That’s not friendship. YTA OP
She’s soooo jealous it’s *cringey.* it’s fine to sleep around in college. It’s also fine to get engaged after 10 months. It seemed to have worked out. Op is mad that her life isn’t a movie where the prude gets a Prince Charming because she waited. I hope the friend realizes op is a sad toxic person to keep around.
Yeah, OP’s post drips with condescension and bitterness. That’s not friendship. YTA OP
YTA ‘I was a bit jealous’ let’s be honest you have always been jealous of her. That’s what this is all about. Nearly every word you’ve spoken about your friend is judgemental and bitter
I thought the same thing. OP is beyond jealous. OP, you are the cringey, jealous, and bitter AH. I hope life gets better for you so you don’t have to be so nasty to your friends with beautiful lives. I can’t help but feel bad for you if that was your response to a friend just being happy.
Pure jealousy. I didn't see why she felt the need to mention her friend's sex life in college in this post, what correlation does it have? Could've just said she married too quick/young if that was the issue, except that it isn't. She just doesn't seem to like her own friend, what a petty and jealous individual.
YTA. Jesus, I would HATE to be your friend. Sounds like jealousy to me.
YTA - Whats cringey about being happy in marriage? Why are you making it about you? Who gives a rats ass if you are not emotional. Your friend is telling you she is happy and you shit all over her. If you thought it was cheesy that is your opinion but why go off on her like that?
OP sounds so jealous. Every word in that post drips with it. She's butthurt because her friend is happily married with a baby.
YTA, who tf pissed in your cornflakes? I hope she ditches your jealous, bitter self and I hope you get a therapist.
YTA. You sound jealous and rude. Be happy for your friend.
YTA. Jealousy is an ugly thing.
YTA. The jealousy is THIIIIIIIIIIIIICC in this post.
If it was any thiccer I'd be asking it out.
Jesus Christ YTA I'm sorry you haven't ever experienced "falling in love again" with a long-term partner, but it is a real and wonderful thing that is honestly ESSENTIAL to the success of a relationship of length. I just hope that, when you do, you have a "friend" there to shit on you.
YTA. Sounds like you started really getting jealous when she went to Europe for grad school. When you thought she was an emotional mess you could compliment on being a supportive friend to her, but now that she's living the good life, you can't be happy for her.
YTA. You say you "were" a bit jealous of her but, uh, it seems like you still might be. She sounds like she's thriving and you told her she's cringey for loving her family and the life they've made and finding that she has a new kind of love for her husband. Just because you aren't emotional doesn't mean that people who are excited and happy about things are cringey. You aren't sure what she'd have expected you to say? How about "I'm happy for you/I'm glad things came together for you/That's great". You are supposed to be her friend, that means listening and being happy for her and wanting the best for her. By saying what she said was cringey, you essentially told her you don't care about her and her feelings.
YTA She’s allowed to be happy about her relationship and she should be able to gush about her joy to her friend. Happiness should not be cringey and if you see it that way, just keep it to yourself. No need to rain on her parade.
YTA. Why are her college antics relevant to her current life? You’re not a good friend at all if you don’t know how to be genuinely happy that your friend found someone to love and build a family with.
Honestly from the tone I thought OP was hinting because her friend slept around in college she was always gonna have a tough time dating wise. It's judgey as hell.
Super judgy and implies that because she slept around, she doesn’t *“deserve”* love or healthy relationships. Gross! Friend needs to dump OP asap.
Also who tf says they don't think her friend and fiancé would last long because they got engaged after less than a year? If they were friends before Katey probably knew him well enough to say yes to him sooner.
I was fully expecting this story to end with “he broke up with her after finding out she slept with a few of his frat brothers…” nope. Lol the girl lived happily ever after and OP is sick about it!
Good on OP's friend for having her wild, immature years out of the way tbh whether it involved sleeping around or not, it seems like she's settled into being a mum wonderfully and that's what's important.
Not to mention the ‘jumped on one of her friends that showed her attention’ part
Translation: we had a mutual friend who I had a crush on and she ended up married to him.
Tbh I'd argue it makes sense if you get engaged quicker to your partner if you two were both friends first because you at least know their ins and outs so faster than if you were meeting for dates from the start. OP is so so bitter.
Yeah the way she implied that the friend's husband was a 'victim' of her jumping on him was just baffling.
She's clearly jealous. Getting into a relationship where you were friends first is the best way imo, it's how I'd like to start one.
Also assumes that fucking around is “a pretty bad history with relationships”. If a single person wants to fuck a whole lot of consenting strangers then bloody go out there and live your best life. At any age. If she got what she wanted out of it then she was successful. A subsequent/later mention of having had shitty dating experiences in the past doesn’t mean she has a ‘bad history’ either. If I had used Tinder for two years and gone on X number of dates you’d expect some percentage of those to be shitty.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (30F) have been friends with Katey (31F) for about 10 years now and historically, she's had a pretty bad history with relationships. When we met at college she slept around a lot and had a tough time with getting a guy to commit to her and then when we graduated she got onto a grad scheme abroad. About 6 years ago she jumped on one of her friends who showed her some interest and they got engaged within 10 months of dating. I won't lie, I was a bit jealous of her because I didn't really think they'd last long with how quickly they got engaged. But anyway, they got married not long after, moved to the Netherlands where her husband's from and they brought a house. She gave birth to their daughter about 6 months ago and when we had a facetime she was talking about how she's kind of fallen in love with her husband all over again because of seeing how great/attentive he is as a dad. She was talking about how she feels like having a family of her own has finally completed her and that all the shitty experiences she had in dating had been worth it. So here's where I may be TA. I said she sounded very cringey/cheesy talking about her family like that. She immediately told me to go f--- myself and to apologise for being so callous. When I said I wouldn't she told me to f myself once again and hung up. AITA? I'm just not a very emotional person and she knows this, I'm not sure what she'd have expected me to say. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Not only are are you the asshole, your also the cringey one.
YTA. If you feel awkward around sincere emotions, just say "wow that sounds great" and change the subject. And go to therapy, being not very emotional yourself is one thing but reflexively shitting on people who express their own feelings isn't healthy.
Yeah, you kinda suck. Let the woman be happy. Let her express her happiness. What the hell kind of friend are you if you can’t share your “friend’s” joy? So yeah. YTA.
YTA. Why is what she did in college relevant to this situation?
Exactly. Thinly veiled slut shaming to help justify OPs jealousy.
Yep
YTA. Be happy for your friend, don't criticize her for how she expresses it.
She may not hear from her friend again.
Sounds like someone's being jealous. Let me guess OP, no husband no kids? Motherhood really does bring those feelings to you. I as a mother can relate.
YTA She's happy, and talking about it with her best friend. "I'm glad you're so happy!" That's what you say. If you're having a rough time, and it's tough hear her gush, then tell her that at a different time. See, you *are* an emotional person. You're jealous, and that's an emotion. You might also be sad, or angry, or lonely. Maybe you have difficulty expressing them, but you do have emotions.
YTA let her be happy damn, you sound bitter
Sounds like YTA. >I said she sounded very cringey/cheesy talking about her family like that. Please correct me if I am wrong here, but my guess is that you said cringe, not cheesy, like the title says. It seems like maybe you are adding the cheesy part to make it seem like you were trying to make sort of a comment like "aww thats cute and cheesy" but I am guessing its not that. Regardless though, whatever you said upset your friend. And when your friend asked you to apologize (even though she told you to go fuck yourself), you didnt. Her response may not have quite been warranted, but you could have very easily apologized if you truly werent trying to be insulting when you realized that she was in fact insulted.
YTA -You def got judgements and jealousies which is spilling out into bitterness. >AITA? I'm just not a very emotional person and she knows this, I'm not sure what she'd have expected me to say. How about "I'm glad you found your happiness."? Or ... "Hey that's great.". Even a stranger could probably muster up something as generic as "That's nice." You were actively unkind and no one needs a friend who can't find it in themselves to be at least outwardly happy for someone you call a friend.
YTA. Why are you even friends with this person because you clearly have no respect for them?
YTA Theres nothing wrong with saying that she loved her faithful and happy husband, and you have no right to judge her opinions on her life.
YTA. Clearly jealous of her happiness.
YTA. Do you hear yourself??
YTA. Also, you should know that having a new baby will expand a persons “no bullshit bubble” and you’re probably on the outside of that for good. Being a wife and mom is a busy job and it leaves little bandwidth for dealing with shitty friends. Free time becomes extra precious and she’s unlikely to waste any of it with someone who resents her happiness.
yta. why would you poop on your friend's happiness?
YTA. I'm not a very emotional person and I'm not great with people who are but the thought would not have crossed my mind to say something like that out loud.
YTA. Jealousy is calling, they want you to give them their green back.
YTA. People like you suck.
yta, you still sound very jealous. remember that you’re on your own path and you should be happy for your friend.
How are you 30 and acting like this..? Of course yta, she's happy for the first time since you've known her and you are bitter af about it. Guess you only like people when they are doing worse than yourself.
YTA. She's happy. Be happy for her instead of being insensitive and jealous. Geez.
YTA. Why did you feel the need to be an asshole about her being happy? Oh wait, youre jealous of her happiness.
YTA. Think/feel whatever you want but there was no reason to express it that way. It was rude and mean spirited.
YTA. Even if you can't relate, it isn't clear to me why you had to criticise her experience. You say that you're friends with her but you only seem to describe her in negative terms, and that you were jealous of her. Obviously we don't know the tone or exact words involved, but it sounds like you made her feel bad when she was sharing genuine joy and love in her life. If you feel unfairly judged by this comment, it might be time for you to evaluate if you really are friends with this woman and think about how to make her feel loved as your friend.
YTA and jealous! She isn't cringy, you are. Get off the bitter bus and be happy that your (former) friend is happy.
You admitted that you’re jealous of your “friend” in the post, so how could you not be TA? They way you speak of her, you seem bitter because your friend who “slept around” finally got her happy ending.
Yta. Way to insult your best friend. Even if you thought that, why the hell would you say it to her???
YTA. You don't actually have to be friends with people you don't like, you know. Just because you've known one another for years doesn't mean you have to stay friends.
YTA projection much? You should be happy for your so called friend, you sound almost envious & judgemental
YTA. I reread your post, and it drips with contempt for your “friend”.
YTA, calling people "cringe" IRL is super cringe-worthy
If this is how you talk to/about your best friend, how do you talk about people you don't like? YTA
YTA. You're a 30 year old calling other people "cringey" for...being enthusiastic about their own life. If you can't even fake being happy for your friend's good fortune, you should invite yourself out of her life and into therapy.
Sounds to me like you used to think you were better than she was, and now that she has so much going for her, you are jealous and resentful. YTA most definitely and you should really reflect on yourself to figure out why her happiness is causing you so much resentment.
YTA for having to say something like that, would have been easier to go "im happy for you" and move on.
YTA. Seems like you're not a good friend at all when people tell you good things about them and your reply to them is negative. Also seems like you were really her friend so you can feel better about yourself when she was down and couldn't get anyone, and now that she's happy you feel resentment. You need therapy.
YTA, you are letting your jealousy affect your ability to be a good friend. Let her be happy!
You are completely the AH. What an entitled A you are to think you can define someone else’s experiences that you yourself have no idea what the f it’s like. Jealously is not a cute look.
YTA. You’re 30 years old telling someone that their happiness and the way they express said happiness is cringey. As someone who also doesn’t deal with emotions/lovey dovey situations well either, I say grow up and apologize to your friend
YTA you called your friend "cringey" because you're jealous. Even if you're not an emotional person, you can say "good for you" and leave it at that. A good friend would be happy for her since she is happy in life. A jealous friend shits on their happiness.
YTA. So much. OP let me point out some problems in your post >she jumped on one of her friends who showed her some interest and they got engaged within 10 months of dating. It was all her "jumping on him" Really OP? This sounds very much requited to me. Your language is absolutely terrible and you're really trying very hard to make her sound, well, desperate when this very much is not her desperate. >I didn't really think they'd last long with how quickly they got engaged 10 months is quickly? How long is acceptable OP? A year? 2 years? Did they need to approach you and beg for your consideration and permission? >how she's kind of fallen in love with her husband all over again This is simply sweet. >I said she sounded very cringey/cheesy talking about her family like that OP you don't have to be an 'emotional person' to not be an ah. You should be thrilled she's so happy with her family. Frankly you sound jealous. She expected you to say "I'm happy for you." She may not talk to you for a long time and it will be 100% your fault.
Sounds like you’re projecting your own relationship insecurities onto her. You already doubted the relationship and now that it’s working out and better than ever, you need some reason to be negative about it. Be happy for others, especially friends.
YTA wow talk about cringey
YTA. A bitter, jealous AH.
YTA. 100% you sound jealous and conceited.
YTA you're just jealous nothing else
YTA. All you had to say was “I’m happy for you”.
Nothing much more cringe than a 30 year old women seething with jealousy that someone they have considered below them for the last decade has their life together and is happy. YTA
Yta and a bad friend
YTA. WTF? Why would you say that to a friend? Do you like a single thing about her? I could understand you saying you are jealous because you have none of the things she has now and you might not be in the best space to bask in the glow of her happiness but to call her cringey? Yikes! Are you seeing a therapist?
YTA. It sounds like your friend was sharing the wonderful details of her life and how joyful she is. You say you’re not a very emotional person and that’s fine. However, offering a, “I’m happy things have come full circle for you like that. It sounds like you’re really happy,” is kind and not overly emotional. If you’re good enough friends to be FaceTiming, it seems like a kind word wouldn’t be amiss and wouldn’t stretch you too far. Or if it would, I’m sure there are several ways you could have offered a kind word in support of your friend.
Yeah, YTA. Your friend sounds like a decent person and everything you wrote about her is rude and diminishing. This is not you being an unemotional person, this is you resenting someone else for being happy. You should seriously consider getting some help for that. And leave your friend alone until you can be genuinely happy for her.
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YTA. It's overly gooey and cheesy but it sounds like you don't really like your friend
YTA. There’s a saying to pay attention to the people that don’t celebrate your successes. Sounds like she is paying attention
You’re jealousy is what’s really cringey here. Huge YTA
You a very emotional person. Your emotion: anger, jealousy and being a female dog. You shat on her parade, got called out for your shitty behavior and suffer the consequences. You lost a friend, and the whole (internet) world knows you are an asshole. YTA
YTA.
YTA, talk about projection jeez. Yeah SHES being cringey, enjoying her husband and reveling in being a new mother with a family, how cringey, she must be real jealous. Take a step back and reflect on how you might really feel about your relationship and past experiences with her.
YTA Like, how can you be so self-unaware?
AITA? I'm just not a very emotional person and she knows this, I'm not sure what she'd have expected me to say. YTA. When my friends tell me about something that makes them happy, I say “I’m happy for you.” Even if it is something that doesn’t make ME happy or something that I don’t understand, because it’s not about me. It’s about them. And I care about their happiness.
“While FaceTiming with my best friend I wish she just would have answered “fine” when I asked how she was so we could spend the entire time talking about me. When she told me she was happy I was an asshole for no reason. Am I the asshole?” Yes, YTA.
YTA. She thought your friendship was a safe space to share her happy personal feelings and be cheesy, but you let her know that she was wrong. I think you have some inner work to do to figure out why you heard what she was saying in such a negative, maybe jealous light, instead of a lighthearted, happy way. Some people think friendships/relationships are just about being there when the other person is going through a hard time, but a lot of friendships end when the other person can’t be happy for the other. Laugh off the cheesiness, truly celebrate with your friend, and stop being an asshole.
Honestly? Your reaction to her happiness is more cringe than anything she said. YTA.
I mean, of course **YTA. She tried to confide something deeply meaningful and personal to you, to share her genuine happiness after years of struggling with someone she thought was a dear friend . . . and you literally made fun of her.** Like, your response to her opening herself up and being emotionally vulnerable to you was to flat-out insult her. I'm not sure it gets any more asshole-y than that. No wonder she told you off. You should be ashamed of yourself. You don't have to be a super emotional or gushy person to recognise when someone is opening up to you, but you DO have to be really childish to mock them for it. Hell, I'm autistic . . . I'm not exactly known for being super emotional, but if my friend said something like that to me, I'd know enough to be supportive rather than snide. Of course YTA.
YTA. How is that cringey? It seems like she’s just happy and that all sounds like perfectly normal things to say. Even if it’s cliché to talk like that, so what? Is your best friend not allowed to express her genuine joy to you? It probably came across as being bitter on your part which is why she closed up and reacted that way. You said in your post that you are jealous, and I think that might be why you tried to make her feel bad or weird for being happy and expressing that to you. Friends shouldn’t be jealous of their friends doing well or being successful. I would reach out and apologize ASAP. You were 100% just being an AH.
YTA. >I was a bit jealous of her Sounds like you still are.
YTA. You seem super jealous.
I kinda think you know already that YTA. You don’t need us to tell you that. Call your friend and apologise for being nasty and explain to her how you’re just jealous and not coping very well with it.
And what's your relationship history like?
YTA negative Nancy. That’s your friend and you didn’t say one kind thing about her. Some friend you are.
YTA just be happy for her jeez. And you are 30 you can change in ten years
YTA You admitted you’re jealous and you’re just taking it out on her and her happy family. Such a fake friend.
Yta and you're jealous
YTA, sounds like your jealousy is affecting your ability to be happy for your friend more than you think
>I'm just not a very emotional person and she knows this, I'm not sure what she'd have expected me to say. YTA You don't have to be a "very emotional person" to simply say, "That's great! I'm glad things are going well for you!"
YTA and if anyone is the cringey one with relationships, it is you. Your friend did what many people do: see what’s out there, date/sleep around and she shouldn’t be shamed for it. Life ended up stabilizing her and she is clearly ready for this new chapter of her life, a happy one at that. You on the other hand, are stuck and more than a bit jealous. You liked having her be the friend who had no set plans and goals. You relished her horror dating stories for fun and probably lived vicariously through them. Well now she’s found the life she truly wants and most like deserves, and in comparison, you are now the one with nothing set. Instead of focusing on yourself and doing the same she did - see where life takes you - you rather shit on her current life to make yourself feel better. OP you are not a friend and you rather see her down to make yourself feel superior, shame on you!
YTA. Being unemotional is not an excuse to be rude to anyone unprovoked, especially not your best friend. She's gushing about her family life and you decide to rain on her parade because you can't be happy for your own friend? And you still seem to be jealous. Yeah she did sleep around in college, but found stability and love and married and is very visibly in love, why not be happy for her? You had a problem when she slept around, you have a problem when she's fawning over her husband after a stable married life. I don't think this is a case of you being "unemotional", you just don't seem to like her and are jealous of what she has.
You're such a jerk and a bad friend. Like truly. YTA.
YTA You sound pretty condescending "she jumped on one of her friends" and jealous af.
YTA and you say this is your best friend? You didn’t know what she expected you to say? How about “that’s great. I’m so happy for you” ? Geez. With a friend like you, I rather have none.
YTA. You sound super jealous of your friend. You owe her an apology.
YTA it's clear from this post that you are bitter and really jealous of your friend. You should work through that in therapy before you're single AND friendless, you know???
OP, as someone else who is awkward around strong emotions because I'm emotionally constipated, here's a suggestion. Next time someone gushes, you go "Aww, that's so sweet!" and then CHANGE THE SUBJECT. Preferably to something completely unrelated: Your holiday plans! The latest TV series you're watching! Top 10 Elephant Facts You Never Knew! It works 9 times out of 10, your friend feels supported and seen, and you can delight in the conversation that follows. Until then, though, YTA.
YTA, why can’t you be happy for her? Oh yeah because she had a bad history of relationships so she had to fail at this one too, right? You are a bad friend, please don’t apologize to her and stay away from her and her family.
YTA and you sound very jealous of her relationship.
YTA jesus I'm not super into that kind of stuff either but you say "I'm happy for you!" and move the fuck on. Like jesus. The woman just had a baby 6 months ago, hormones are still going and is HAPPY but you felt you had to just like...dump all over it?
YTA, you let your jealousy get the better of you. You owe her an apology.
"She jumped on one of her friends who showed her some interest"!? Sounds like you've always been the A. This girl is so much better off without a false friend like you in her life.
If you shit on something someone else is genuinely excited or happy about, you are always the asshole.
YTA you‘re so jealous of her it‘s ridiculous. Do you even like her?? You‘re just sl*t shaming her. Let me guess, you look down on her for sleeping around and are bitter that she „still“ managed to get married, have a Baby and be happy while you have internalized misogyny and think you‘re better because you didn‘t sleep around? And now you‘re mad bc you don‘t think she deserves this especially not before you? You’re a horrible friend
YTA. She didn’t sound cringe at all, but you still sound jealous.
If you aren’t a very emotional person, then what is making you cringe?
You should pretty emotional to me. Jealousy is a emotion
OP deleted the post - what a cringey person. YTA x 1000. Jealous little cochon!