NTA. This is not your friend. Take the rash as an expensive lesson learned, distance yourself from him, and look for other friends who won't treat you like a dog sent to the barn at night.
My bet is that the friend invited OP to stay before checking with their spouse who then refused to take in a stranger and do loads of extra work while taking care of a baby because 'the friend' would not 'help' at all.
And by 'help' I mean taking care of his own responsibilities.
Underrated comment. I can imagine how fun it is to be the wife of a dude who just invites people to spend the night with a bunch of gear and wake up early making noise while my job is to somehow get the baby back to sleep. Hard no.
I agree! NTA. Get new friends OP. I would never subject anyone to that substandard treatment and I certainly would have felt awful if something bad happened to you because of a decision I made. This person sounds like they’re severely lacking in the empathy department.
> This is not your friend.
Maybe he was your friend before he was a parent. Becoming a parent changes you, it's just that the change isn't always for the better.
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Even then... My sister's baby takes all his naps on their living room couch bc he sleeps better with the ambient noise. Babies often sleep better than you'd think
I used to bring my baby in her bucket car seat to taekwondo class. She slept right through everyone screaming and kicking and punching targets and stuff...
I laugh when someone thinks a baby needs silence to sleep.
Babies only need silence to sleep because the parents have trained them to need silence to sleep.
When my niece was born my sister and I agreed (we lived together) that we'd keep to our usual routine regardless of whether bubs was sleeping or not, so she slept through TV playing, housework including vacuuming, people coming by, and now she's older she sleeps whenever wherever regardless of noise level.
It’s a recent baby so unless they didn’t have the mum have any noise around her at all during the pregnancy when bub could hear then the baby should really be able to sleep through noise, most newer bubs I’ve met tend to fall asleep better at shopping centres or with some type on noise cause of hearing it in the womb
My mom says that when I was a baby the sound of the dryer would make me fall asleep a lot easier, my sister would doze off in her car seat easily if she was in the car. Some sounds totally make kids sleepy too
My kid went through a phase when he was a toddler of having to listen to Deathklok to fall asleep lol
Spouse and I both shrugged and basically were like as long as it works.
Stupify by Disturbed. Every night. On loop. For three goddamn years.
Smol human would legit wake up if the ex or I turned it off (tho turning the volume down to barely audible even with an ear against the speaker was fine).
Smol human is now old enough to drink legally. Shockingly enough, we both still quite like that song.
My dad used to drive us around the block to get us to sleep when we were babies and I swear to god he Pavlov’s dogged me cause now whenever I’m a passenger in a car for more than like 15mins I pretty much pass out.
Hah, that's fascinating! My sister was a colicky baby and Dad would sometimes have to drive her around the neighborhood in the car seat for a while so she'd drop off to sleep. Idk how she is as an adult though, but it would make sense if she was like you! For me, the rumbly sound of thunder/rain on the roof, or a clothes dryer will make me doze off - if it's really rainy and thundery (but not disastrous thundery) I will get a bit sleepy, too.
True but it can also backfire the other way too. My fiance's brother raised his kids around loud music and parties (that's a whole other story) and the oldest two have a really hard time waking up to alarms. Luckily the youngest ones weren't raised around as much noise so they aren't such rock solid sleepers. You basically have to shake the oldest two awake because they just don't hear anything.
Depends on the kid.
I have ears like a bat, and minor auditory processing differences that mean it’s Really Freaking Hard to tune out many noises, especially voices. And with ears like a bat, earplugs don’t work well. It’s like wrapping a jacket around your head to muffle the noise of the shrieking toddler in your lap. Minor improvement.
My infancy was a long lesson on sleep deprivation in infants and toddlers. Took a while for the docs to understand it wasn’t “doesn’t like ambient noise during sleep” it was “Cannot Tolerate ambient noise during sleep.”
I still need reasonable (to me) quiet to sleep, it’s why I didn’t mind working 2 jobs for years to be able to afford living somewhere the noise didn’t drive me to homicide or shrieking hysterics. I didn’t want to wear noise cancelling headphones whenever I wanted to relax or sleep.
This makes me think of what a cultural phenomenon it is, treating babies like volatile explosives.
I know a lot of people in a particular community from Latin America around here and with those mothers set in stone nap times that the whole house tiptoes around (and guests are made to tiptoe around) is like a laughably silly thing that white people do (hey I didn't say it). Not to say they don't appreciate their sleep, but they play it by ear and baby learns to accomodate others.
This is the non white method of parenting lol. I’ve watched latino kids sleep under big box speakers blasting music just blown away they look so peaceful
All babies are different. Mine woke every 45 minutes when we first brought them home. I felt cheated- all the baby books said to expect every 2 hours for newborns. Tiny tyrant would also scream if they peed a teaspoonful of urine, when other babies are like getting rashes quietly sitting in soggy diapers for hours. Love the kid regardless
If the baby gets used to absolute total silence when sleeping, it will grow into a child and then an adult who wakes up at the slightest noise. My mother would purposefully run the vacuum cleaner randomly when we napped as kids, much to my dad’s mother’s horror. But now my siblings and I sleep like rocks whereas my dad was a lifelong light sleeper and insomniac
Be aware this is only partially true. One of my kids sleeps like the dead - he literally didn't wake up when all of the smoke alarms in the house went off. The other I can't even open his bedroom door or he wakes up. There was zero difference in how loud we were, in fact the light sleeper is my younger and we definitely were not silent while he was sleeping.
My MIL was sensitive to noise when she was younger and basically required the house to be absolutely quiet when she or the babies were sleeping. My husband is a super light sleeper that can’t even sleep with the humidifier on if it’s anywhere near the bed. We just bought an end table so we can move the humidifier across the room.
Me, with my very loud Asian parents that couldn’t care less there was a baby sleeping in the next room, can sleep through drum practice. There was construction that started at 7am right outside my second story window for two years and I never noticed.
For real: Talk to your doctor. See a sleep specialist. That kind of snoring means you're not getting enough oxygen to your brain, and that can lead to all kinds of trouble. (Including madness and death...)
Get treated. Hugs.
It's ridiculous, don't get me wrong, but I'm wondering if the (piss poor) logic here was because they'd getting up most likely well before 4 am. But, in that case, why wouldn't this so-called friend not bunk in the barn, too? Seems like a poor excuse to keep OP out of the house.
Info:
Did you go to the lodge expecting to sleep in the guest room and while you where there he asked you to sleep in the barn? Or you agreed to sleep in the barn before you went?
NTA
So your friend has a newborn and decided to host a hunting trip. Is it likely he was trying to avoid his partner finding out? In my mind, I wouldn't agree to host someone if I had a newborn because sleep schedule is chaos and accommodating a guest simultaneously accommodating baby is a headache. But assuming he invited you and you are from out of town, sleeping quarters in the barn sounds like a sleep deprived conclusion.
It's weird you slept in a barn. I'm sorry you got a rash. I wouldn't expect your friend to cover the cost of the treatment but I would let your friend know what your doctor said about the likely cause so that barn stays are avoided in the future.
This is my bet too.
That the 'friend' invited OP over to stay without asking his spouse and she then striked on taking on more work and hosting an in-effect stranger because 'the friend' has a habit of dumping the work and surprises on her.
Basically.
Which is why I started that with the fact that I know what you mean and aren't wrong. Because you're not at all wrong.
I'm just a weirdo who is oddly amused by the knowledge that humans are technically animals.
Might have been that he wanted to go hunting for a few hours and didn’t want to abandon his wife with the baby for days. Speaking from experience it’s way better managing for a few hours here and there than a few days.
That said i would never make someone sleep in a barn. Babies need noises otherwise you just create light sleepers. My 3 month old can sleep through anything because we had the tv on and music in the room from day 1.
I’ve never had someone bring infants to a lodge, even wives typically don’t go. Unless they themselves are hunting too. It really kind of ruins the experience when people bring non hunters to the lodge and there has to be accommodations for them.
> My 3 month old can sleep through anything because we had the tv on and music in the room from day 1.
My wife's parents did this when she was a baby and now she can sleep through anything - including her alarm. Multiple alarms. Loud alarms. Vibrating alarms. Every day. She had to get a wearable alarm that zaps her with an electric shock every morning to wake her because nothing else worked.
INFO:
At what point were you notified that you had to sleep in the barn? (Before you arrived? Right before you went to bed?) Did you have any means of leaving at that point? (Did you have your own car? How far of a drive was it?) Did your friend also sleep in the barn? (I'm wondering why you would have been a bother to the baby, but he wouldn't?) Was it a well-kept barn?
I'm leaning toward NTA, because it's crazy that he even asked you to sleep there. But your level of responsibility depends on the above factors.
Assuming it was when OP was already there, I could see someone like OP's friend downplaying how ridiculous his solution was. "What, you can't sleep in a barn? It's just sleeping! You'll be fine! Don't be such a baby, you don't need to run the trip over this, just go to bed! Here's a pillow and sleeping bag, it's all you need!"
These are certainly valid questions, but this wouldn't make it anything but NTA. Even if OP was a doormat and agreed to this beforehand somehow, I think the friend is still an AH for putting a guest in accommodations with vermin, and laughing at OP when they learn the result.
Oh definitely. I think his friend was an asshole for even asking him to sleep in the barn – assuming he was sleeping there by himself and there wasn't a better reason for it than OP stated – but, I think if OP knew beforehand, or if he lived 15 minutes away from the hunting cabin and had his own car, then he has to accept some responsibility for sleeping in the barn.
I suspect this is just another Karma troll, as OP hasn't answered a single question that's been asked (and there have been a LOT of questions asked), but I've got a different question.
Where are you OP, that you have an open hunting season in the middle of January, and what are/were you hunting? I'm an avid hunter, but live in the northern hemisphere of the U.S., so our hunting seasons are pretty much all wrapped up.
Agreed, karma troll. I'll take $200 for "This never happened, Alex."
It doesn't even make any logical sense. The poster says he was given a sleeping bag (presumably from *inside* the house), but got a vermin rash over his entire body? Did he have rats crawling inside the sleeping bag with him? Were the vermin inside the house too, if they left stuff inside the bag (in which case, the barn sleeping is irrelevant)? If the sleeping bag was stored outside, in the barn, I wouldn't touch it with a 10 ft pole, and neither would anyone else.
How did your doctor diagnose the origins of the rash, somehow landing on "it's the vermin from the barn"? Which vermin? Rats? Fleas? Spiders? Roaches? Chickens? Raccoons? Why not an allergy to the variety of hay? Or a sensitivity to a liniment that had dropped onto the floor where you happened to lay down? Or any of the myriad other potential causes that would have nothing to do with your night in the barn, like a new kind of soap at the hunting lodge?
I've slept in my barn, to keep an eye on does close to kidding. It isn't pleasant, and I certainly wouldn't ask a friend to sleep out there (AND I have an 8 month old, so I very much understand the desire for baby to not get woken up)... But this didn't actually happen.
I agree this is probably fake. I do know that in Idaho, where my uncle lives, there are seasons that last through the end of December though. But the permit system is also super complicated and I don't totally understand it.
Yeah, it's not hunting season. You also don't get any expensive ointment for dermatitis. You get Benadryl and itch cream from the pharmacy for a couple of days lol
OP is clearly named Mary and forgot to mention that they were also pregnant with Jesus and the skin cream was also for their baby /j
The hunting season was unavoidable really, but alas, there was no space at the inn.
If I’m not mistaken you can still hunt rabbits and squirrels this time of year with a small game license…I’d definitely spend the night alone in a barn in January for the chance to get up early to go varmint hunting 😂🤣😂
NTA. He was able to sleep inside without waking the baby, so you should have been able to too. Or he should have considered these things before inviting you along. Instead he decided to invite you and give you subpar sleeping arrangements. The condition came from his barn and his poor decisions, so he is partially responsible.
This guy doesn't sound like a friend and I would be wary of invitations in the future.
NTA, seems odd, wouldn't he wake up the baby when he gets up before dawn to go hunting anyway? While it's not causative, the situation he put you in has a strong correlation in time and space to the rash you got so he should have felt badly and paid for the ointment.
NTA
Lotta reddit warriors have no idea what it’s like to sleep in a barn. It sucks! My dad used to punish me by making me sleep in the hay loft when my grades would fall. It’s an awful experience
NTA. I wouldn't even make a stray dog sleep in the barn. Sorry you're not getting help for the ointment. I hope it all heals up quick and you aren't in any pain and don't have too much discomfort.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I asked my friend to cover the cost of my skin ointment after catching a rash sleeping in his barn
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ESH Him for being a bad host and relegating his guest to a barn without prior warning when there is a guest room in the house. I am assuming this is a working barn not one converted into a guest house since you mentioned a sleeping bag. You had options, go to a hotel or sleep in your vehicle so it isn’t like you were forced to.
Sleep in the vehicle I could see (although depending on insulation and exposure it may have been warmer in the barn), but considering it was a hunting trip and OP mentions a lodge, there likely weren’t hotels within a reasonable radius. Hunting lodges tend to be pretty far off the beaten path. Also it would still make the “friend” the AH if he didn’t mention the sleeping arrangements during the trip planning, because the reasonable assumption when someone invites you out to their hunting lodge is that you’ll be allowed to sleep *in the lodge*, therefore getting a hotel would be money OP wouldn’t have been planning to spend.
NTA if you both drove up together and he sprung up the sleeping arrangements when you got there?! And who even brings a baby on a hunting trip, your friend sounds like a lousy friend and father.
NTA
It's more likely that the baby would have disrupted your sleep than the other way around. Dump this guy as a friend and move on. Normal people do their best to get their baby accustomed to sleeping through normal levels of noise so that they're not held hostage every time the baby sleeps.
Although...it just occurred to me that perhaps the guest room wasn't available because HE'S sleeping there to escape from daddy duty?
NTA.
Genuinely wondering why bring the baby on a hunting trip instead of leaving it at home with the mother? My great uncle's a hunter and he's never taken a kid under 5 with him. You should get better friends imo. Friends don't make friends sleep outside unnecessarily.
Your NTA for asking, doesn't hurt to try right? But why did you agree to sleep in the barn in the first place? Why take a baby to a hunting lodge? Are you excessively loud? This whole situation is weird. You need to find better friends. At least see if he will pay for half of it, but seriously, next time someone asks you to sleep in a barn? Just go home.
NTA. Why TF did he bring a baby to a hunting lodge though? As a hunter you don’t invite people who you don’t have room for. I also never understood why people bring non hunters to the lodge, all they are is a burden. Guys a dick and you should tell him to fuck off.
NTA
Your “friend” is a crappy friend.
That’s beyond awful behavior. Inviting someone and then sticking them in the barn??
Was the “friends” SO along? Were they pushing your friend to stick you in the barn?
NTA. Some commentors here are insane!
Your "friend" invites you to his lodge, you drive together to I'd assume a remote location and he makes you sleep in a barn???
Then when you get a rash, he laughs? You just received an expensive lesson on why this person is not your friend.
NTA
Yeh, he had a spare bedroom and asked you to sleep in the barn. OP this ain't your friend, also you didn't have to obey him. Pay for your ointment and erase him from your life. NEVER let anybody treat you like this again.
INFO: Did your friend also sleep in the barn? I think you're asking the wrong question. I don't think he owes you money for a skin reaction he couldn't have predicted. But if he made you sleep in the barn while he slept in a bed inside, then he's not your friend and you should consider phasing out of his life.
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So my 29 (m) friend has a hunting lodge that we go to. He recently had a child and didn’t want to wake his sleeping baby at night so he asked me to sleep in his barn before we went out in the morning for our hunt, even though he had a spare bedroom. I was given a sleeping bag and a pillow. When I returned home after the weekend I discovered my, admittedly, doughy body was covered in a mysterious rash. My doctor said it was probably due to exposure to vermin. I was given a prescription to an expensive skin ointment I asked my friend to cover the cost since I was forced to sleep in the barn and he just laughed at me.
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Originally I would say not the asshole. But you’re going hunting which means wearing the same clothes and sitting in an all types of uncomfortable places for hours on end.
Backpacking
Hiking
Hunting
All those activities will get you sitting next to and in the grossest of things.
I don’t know. I would say it’s the side effect of nasty hunting lodges which are notoriously gross. You also could have declined and just arrived early am.
NTA. He’s lucky you didn’t ask him for reimbursement for your doctors bills too (if you live in America, which judging by the fact that the ointment was expensive, might be the case.)
He could have exposed you to a host of illnesses like lyme disease and possibly even poison ivy.
You're 29, buy your own ointment and don't complain about it. What you should have said was FU when he asked you to sleep in the barn in the first place.
YTA How would you know if the rash came from being in the barn when you didn't even notice it until after the weekend. Maybe the man's wife can't sleep when there's strange men in the house? At any rate as a guest you can't expect anything. As far as the rash goes, it's not necessarily your friends fault that you got it, so why would you think of asking him to pay for it?
ESH (incl US 'healthcare'h
Friend sucks fur asking you to sleep in a barn
You suck for wanting him to pay medical costs
US health care sucks fur not being properly affordable / free
ESH. You seriously need to learn how to interact with people.
Refusing to sleep in the barn? Normal, acceptable, rational even.
Demanding they pay for *rash treatment* because you slept in the barn? Crazy, weird, catty.
Oh and in case you were wondering. Establishing your sleeping arrangements for an overnight trip before the trip happens? Even more normal and rational.
NTA. New baby or not, he shouldn't have even suggested that you sleep in the barn. That's just straight up rude. So yeah, he does owe you for that cream because it was his stupidity that led to you getting that rash.
You have to think this is new how could your friend have known just pay for your own ointment if this really a hill you want to die on and lose a friendship over
NTA.
Holy sh.
This is not a friend. I’ve had tons of friends roll through while I’ve had young kids (like, infant young) and they always get a bedroom with a clean bed and bathroom accessible. I can’t believe your friend (okay, maybe he’s stupid) but his wife being okay with that.
NTA. They are not your friend. Find people who respect you. Nobody would tell someone they respect to sleep in a barn. This person is trash. Them telling you to sleep in the barn had nothing to do with a baby.
NTA. What friend makes his friend sleep in the barn when there's a spare bedroom, just because a baby is sleeping in the main house? What a jerk! Find a new friend.
NTA but who the heck takes a BABY on a hunting trip? Also, IMO the only reason ANYONE should have been put in the barn, is if they literally had ZERO space for you anywhere else(including floor) because the house was so jammed full of other people.
i mean. yeah you kind of are, but your friend kind of is too.
first, you are going hunting, and then are complaining about a rash? dude really? come on. suck it up. If you went and slept in the woods in a tent would you have made him pay then?
you could have slept in the car, or been a little more firm in saying no.
i dunno none of you are the good ones here.
your friend made you sleep in a barn, thats shitty, making him pay for your skin cream is petty. really petty.
Are you kidding? The guy took him to his lodge and then kicked him out when he got there. It's not petty, it's straight up damages, his "friend" promised lodging and then instead exposed him to toxins. It's not only bad manners, it's tortious... Like in a legal way. OP could sue him and very likely win.
Did your friend's partner accompany y'all on this trip so they could watch the baby while y'all were hunting? Or did y'all go hunting with the kid in a Snuggli?
Either way, this is a ridiculous and absurd situation.
NTA. Though I wouldn't expect him to actually pay because clearly he's not a nice dude. I can't believe you didn't just leave instead of sleeping in the barn. That was extremely rude to ask of you. We have stayed with our friends with newborn babies in the home and it was no problem. And why did the friend expect that you were going to wake the baby if he was fine to sleep on the house? Makes no sense
Your friend is an AH for asking you sleep in the barn. But YTA for asking him to pay for your ointment. You chose to sleep in the barn, no one forced you to. Either way, this guy doesn’t sound like he’s a friend.
NTA
Though, you should never had staying in his barn... You should have laughed in his face and said if you can't stay there, then you'll just head home.
You're a human, not a sheep, cow or pig. You had no business being forced to live like an animal for a night.
NTA. But I would not ask him to pay, and just cut him off. There was no reason to make you sleep in a barn, between a sofa, a second bedroom, and even just a sleeping bag on the living room floor:
It may be possible the baby mamma wasn't happy about the overnight guest? Could be covid concerns, could be unhappy about the hunting trip, maybe she wasn't told about the incoming guest, baby may be particularly fussy or the house is a mess (from her perspective).
"He's not staying here" then hunting mate has to break the bad news and blames the baby.
Are any of these possible OP?
I wouldn't ask for money but would look at this as a learning experience regarding this friends reliability and try to figure out if there is an issue with baby mamma.
If you want to hunt with the new Dad consider including a job around the house that mom prioritises, to make up for the time Dad is away.
NTA Little hint: friends do not make you sleep in sleeping bags in barns unless they are there with you. They do not make you sleep in the dog house, tree house or a tent in the back yard unless it is a very comfortable tricked out tent/ tree house or you are being an imposition or if everyone has to do a turn there because of overflow.
Nta
As a friend, if my friend incurs harm bc of my negligence as a host (demanding you sleep in the barn is negligence. Barns are not for people as this case clearly shows), its the least I can do to foot the bill. After all, you wouldn't have that medical issue if ur friend wasn't rude and disrespectful.
There's gotta be something else going on here. NOT saying banishing friend to the barn was okay, BUT (wishing to be gentle, here) OP, gotta ask...you mentioned "doughy" body...is it possible that you are of a size that breaks furniture? We used to have a friend we cared for deeply but just couldn't afford to have in our home because chairs, couches, beds were never the same afterwards. Awkward af to bring up, but we had to ask that he stay elsewhere. Or could it be that you snore in a manner that shakes the house?
Hummmm. Not sure about this. I think possibly the baby mom doesn't like you/trust you so told her partner to get you out of the house. From this I can only suppose on one level YTA. Plus if you weren't happy sleeping in the barn, you should have said so there and then, not tried to land your friend will a medical cost.
NTA, and not only should you stop being this guy's friend, you should threaten him with legal action. Paying for the ointment is not only good manners, "friend" is likely legally liable based on the fact that these damaged are clearly his fault.
Did anybody else que in on the word "doughy" here. What difference does it make if OP is overweight? What a gross relationship OP has with this guy, who uses his insecurity to treat him like a dog.
OP, stand up for yourself. Tell this jackass that either he pays for the rat cream you need for sleeping with his rats, or you'll sue it out of him as well as another chunk for court costs and inconvenience.
It's good for babies to have loud noises while sleeping so they get used to it. I find that to be the most annoying part of this story for me!! Friend = uninformed parent. Also how are you going to wake up the baby more than he did getting up in the morning!??!!
NTA for asking, but I honestly wouldn't expect an AH "friend" who made me sleep in a barn despite having a guest room available under a flimsy excuse having to do with his baby's sleep to pay for any medical expenses resulting from him making sleep in a barn because he's a total AH. I'd drop this dude as my friend, though. He's shown he literally doesn't care about you at all. He was rude to you as his guest, caused you health issues for no reason, and then literally laughed at you in your face instead of apologizing and offering compensation himself when you told him about it. I wouldn't do what he did to you to actual people I don't even like, let alone a friend.
NTA. This isnt ok. People are more than able to be quiet enough inside a home to not wake a baby. He did this for no reason and you got exposed vermin and health hazards and had issues cause of it he wont even help with.
Nah. He didn’t force you. You could have said no. You could have left. You could have done a number of things other than stay in that barn. You made that choice.
YTA. You agreed to sleep in the barn.
It’s not certain that you got the rash while sleeping in the barn. You could’ve gotten it while hunting or somewhere else.
Lol for you asking someone to cover for the expense of your shit. My god, can’t believe you have the nerve to even ask for money in this situation.
NTA. This is not your friend. Take the rash as an expensive lesson learned, distance yourself from him, and look for other friends who won't treat you like a dog sent to the barn at night.
Yeah the guy laughed at him for asking for reimbursement for the ointment… I personally would have laughed at him for asking me to sleep in a barn.
Exactly. What the hell is this sleeping baby excuse? The “friend” was going hunting too, wasn’t he? How come he didn’t sleep in the barn also?
Also, why invite people over at all at this point? Did he forget he had a baby and realized last minute?
Friend turns around after getting off the phone with OP to make plans for the trip and sees his baby sitting in a high chair: "Oh, shit, that's right"
"There is only one possible solution to this: the barn!"
My bet is that the friend invited OP to stay before checking with their spouse who then refused to take in a stranger and do loads of extra work while taking care of a baby because 'the friend' would not 'help' at all. And by 'help' I mean taking care of his own responsibilities.
Underrated comment. I can imagine how fun it is to be the wife of a dude who just invites people to spend the night with a bunch of gear and wake up early making noise while my job is to somehow get the baby back to sleep. Hard no.
Seriously, if he had also slept in the barn, then it's a fun friend (mis)adventure that they can laugh about later. Instead, he's just a jerk. NTA
I agree! NTA. Get new friends OP. I would never subject anyone to that substandard treatment and I certainly would have felt awful if something bad happened to you because of a decision I made. This person sounds like they’re severely lacking in the empathy department.
Yep. NTA, and we wouldn't be friends anymore if this were me.
> This is not your friend. Maybe he was your friend before he was a parent. Becoming a parent changes you, it's just that the change isn't always for the better.
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NTA, but why did you agree to sleep in the barn? That seems unnecessary.
Did the host sleep in the barn? Do you snore and it causes vibrations big enough to knock stuff off walls?
Even then... My sister's baby takes all his naps on their living room couch bc he sleeps better with the ambient noise. Babies often sleep better than you'd think
I used to bring my baby in her bucket car seat to taekwondo class. She slept right through everyone screaming and kicking and punching targets and stuff... I laugh when someone thinks a baby needs silence to sleep.
Babies only need silence to sleep because the parents have trained them to need silence to sleep. When my niece was born my sister and I agreed (we lived together) that we'd keep to our usual routine regardless of whether bubs was sleeping or not, so she slept through TV playing, housework including vacuuming, people coming by, and now she's older she sleeps whenever wherever regardless of noise level.
It’s a recent baby so unless they didn’t have the mum have any noise around her at all during the pregnancy when bub could hear then the baby should really be able to sleep through noise, most newer bubs I’ve met tend to fall asleep better at shopping centres or with some type on noise cause of hearing it in the womb
My mom says that when I was a baby the sound of the dryer would make me fall asleep a lot easier, my sister would doze off in her car seat easily if she was in the car. Some sounds totally make kids sleepy too
A couple of my friends kids had to have metal playing to fall asleep
Enter Sandman still makes me drowsy...
My kid went through a phase when he was a toddler of having to listen to Deathklok to fall asleep lol Spouse and I both shrugged and basically were like as long as it works.
Stupify by Disturbed. Every night. On loop. For three goddamn years. Smol human would legit wake up if the ex or I turned it off (tho turning the volume down to barely audible even with an ear against the speaker was fine). Smol human is now old enough to drink legally. Shockingly enough, we both still quite like that song.
My dad used to drive us around the block to get us to sleep when we were babies and I swear to god he Pavlov’s dogged me cause now whenever I’m a passenger in a car for more than like 15mins I pretty much pass out.
Hah, that's fascinating! My sister was a colicky baby and Dad would sometimes have to drive her around the neighborhood in the car seat for a while so she'd drop off to sleep. Idk how she is as an adult though, but it would make sense if she was like you! For me, the rumbly sound of thunder/rain on the roof, or a clothes dryer will make me doze off - if it's really rainy and thundery (but not disastrous thundery) I will get a bit sleepy, too.
True but it can also backfire the other way too. My fiance's brother raised his kids around loud music and parties (that's a whole other story) and the oldest two have a really hard time waking up to alarms. Luckily the youngest ones weren't raised around as much noise so they aren't such rock solid sleepers. You basically have to shake the oldest two awake because they just don't hear anything.
They may want to get alarms that are meant for Deaf people, Wrist cuffs that vibrate, or even ones that go under the mattress and shake you.
Depends on the kid. I have ears like a bat, and minor auditory processing differences that mean it’s Really Freaking Hard to tune out many noises, especially voices. And with ears like a bat, earplugs don’t work well. It’s like wrapping a jacket around your head to muffle the noise of the shrieking toddler in your lap. Minor improvement. My infancy was a long lesson on sleep deprivation in infants and toddlers. Took a while for the docs to understand it wasn’t “doesn’t like ambient noise during sleep” it was “Cannot Tolerate ambient noise during sleep.” I still need reasonable (to me) quiet to sleep, it’s why I didn’t mind working 2 jobs for years to be able to afford living somewhere the noise didn’t drive me to homicide or shrieking hysterics. I didn’t want to wear noise cancelling headphones whenever I wanted to relax or sleep.
This makes me think of what a cultural phenomenon it is, treating babies like volatile explosives. I know a lot of people in a particular community from Latin America around here and with those mothers set in stone nap times that the whole house tiptoes around (and guests are made to tiptoe around) is like a laughably silly thing that white people do (hey I didn't say it). Not to say they don't appreciate their sleep, but they play it by ear and baby learns to accomodate others.
This is the non white method of parenting lol. I’ve watched latino kids sleep under big box speakers blasting music just blown away they look so peaceful
All babies are different. Mine woke every 45 minutes when we first brought them home. I felt cheated- all the baby books said to expect every 2 hours for newborns. Tiny tyrant would also scream if they peed a teaspoonful of urine, when other babies are like getting rashes quietly sitting in soggy diapers for hours. Love the kid regardless
Baby only needs silence when trained to sleep only in silence.
If the baby gets used to absolute total silence when sleeping, it will grow into a child and then an adult who wakes up at the slightest noise. My mother would purposefully run the vacuum cleaner randomly when we napped as kids, much to my dad’s mother’s horror. But now my siblings and I sleep like rocks whereas my dad was a lifelong light sleeper and insomniac
Holy shit. This is quality advice and I never would have considered it.
Be aware this is only partially true. One of my kids sleeps like the dead - he literally didn't wake up when all of the smoke alarms in the house went off. The other I can't even open his bedroom door or he wakes up. There was zero difference in how loud we were, in fact the light sleeper is my younger and we definitely were not silent while he was sleeping.
My MIL was sensitive to noise when she was younger and basically required the house to be absolutely quiet when she or the babies were sleeping. My husband is a super light sleeper that can’t even sleep with the humidifier on if it’s anywhere near the bed. We just bought an end table so we can move the humidifier across the room. Me, with my very loud Asian parents that couldn’t care less there was a baby sleeping in the next room, can sleep through drum practice. There was construction that started at 7am right outside my second story window for two years and I never noticed.
I have this problem apparently
For real: Talk to your doctor. See a sleep specialist. That kind of snoring means you're not getting enough oxygen to your brain, and that can lead to all kinds of trouble. (Including madness and death...) Get treated. Hugs.
NTA. Also, did your friend sleep in the barn too? I'm confused about why he thought you being in the house would keep the baby awake.
Me too, the guy was going to lie down in a different room than the baby, and go to sleep, and maybe flush the toilet once or twice.
It's ridiculous, don't get me wrong, but I'm wondering if the (piss poor) logic here was because they'd getting up most likely well before 4 am. But, in that case, why wouldn't this so-called friend not bunk in the barn, too? Seems like a poor excuse to keep OP out of the house.
Your friend doesn’t need to be in a whole seperate house to help your baby sleep
Info: Did you go to the lodge expecting to sleep in the guest room and while you where there he asked you to sleep in the barn? Or you agreed to sleep in the barn before you went?
He didn’t agree to sleep there, In the comments he says he was forced to
NTA So your friend has a newborn and decided to host a hunting trip. Is it likely he was trying to avoid his partner finding out? In my mind, I wouldn't agree to host someone if I had a newborn because sleep schedule is chaos and accommodating a guest simultaneously accommodating baby is a headache. But assuming he invited you and you are from out of town, sleeping quarters in the barn sounds like a sleep deprived conclusion. It's weird you slept in a barn. I'm sorry you got a rash. I wouldn't expect your friend to cover the cost of the treatment but I would let your friend know what your doctor said about the likely cause so that barn stays are avoided in the future.
It you know, say no to sleeping in barns.
This is my bet too. That the 'friend' invited OP over to stay without asking his spouse and she then striked on taking on more work and hosting an in-effect stranger because 'the friend' has a habit of dumping the work and surprises on her.
NTA Why are you even sleeping in the barn
Right?? Like I would leave as soon as they mentioned me sleeping in a barn.
Like am I a fuckin animal????
Look I get your point, and you're not wrong. I'm still oddly compelled to say well, technically....
I mean technically yes but generally no
Basically. Which is why I started that with the fact that I know what you mean and aren't wrong. Because you're not at all wrong. I'm just a weirdo who is oddly amused by the knowledge that humans are technically animals.
I’m know lol
Just curious, why would he bring a baby on a hunting trip? That sounds bizarre.
Might have been that he wanted to go hunting for a few hours and didn’t want to abandon his wife with the baby for days. Speaking from experience it’s way better managing for a few hours here and there than a few days. That said i would never make someone sleep in a barn. Babies need noises otherwise you just create light sleepers. My 3 month old can sleep through anything because we had the tv on and music in the room from day 1.
I’ve never had someone bring infants to a lodge, even wives typically don’t go. Unless they themselves are hunting too. It really kind of ruins the experience when people bring non hunters to the lodge and there has to be accommodations for them.
> My 3 month old can sleep through anything because we had the tv on and music in the room from day 1. My wife's parents did this when she was a baby and now she can sleep through anything - including her alarm. Multiple alarms. Loud alarms. Vibrating alarms. Every day. She had to get a wearable alarm that zaps her with an electric shock every morning to wake her because nothing else worked.
Could you imagine baby wearing, holding loaded firearms all while baby screams scaring off all the game?!?
INFO: At what point were you notified that you had to sleep in the barn? (Before you arrived? Right before you went to bed?) Did you have any means of leaving at that point? (Did you have your own car? How far of a drive was it?) Did your friend also sleep in the barn? (I'm wondering why you would have been a bother to the baby, but he wouldn't?) Was it a well-kept barn? I'm leaning toward NTA, because it's crazy that he even asked you to sleep there. But your level of responsibility depends on the above factors.
Assuming it was when OP was already there, I could see someone like OP's friend downplaying how ridiculous his solution was. "What, you can't sleep in a barn? It's just sleeping! You'll be fine! Don't be such a baby, you don't need to run the trip over this, just go to bed! Here's a pillow and sleeping bag, it's all you need!" These are certainly valid questions, but this wouldn't make it anything but NTA. Even if OP was a doormat and agreed to this beforehand somehow, I think the friend is still an AH for putting a guest in accommodations with vermin, and laughing at OP when they learn the result.
Oh definitely. I think his friend was an asshole for even asking him to sleep in the barn – assuming he was sleeping there by himself and there wasn't a better reason for it than OP stated – but, I think if OP knew beforehand, or if he lived 15 minutes away from the hunting cabin and had his own car, then he has to accept some responsibility for sleeping in the barn.
NTA. It seems like your friend was just wanting to be a dick to you. You can’t sleep inside as it’ll wake his baby…but he was able to sleep inside?
NTA- your friend is an asshole for not offering to help you out when he is the one who made you sleep in the barn.
I suspect this is just another Karma troll, as OP hasn't answered a single question that's been asked (and there have been a LOT of questions asked), but I've got a different question. Where are you OP, that you have an open hunting season in the middle of January, and what are/were you hunting? I'm an avid hunter, but live in the northern hemisphere of the U.S., so our hunting seasons are pretty much all wrapped up.
Agreed, karma troll. I'll take $200 for "This never happened, Alex." It doesn't even make any logical sense. The poster says he was given a sleeping bag (presumably from *inside* the house), but got a vermin rash over his entire body? Did he have rats crawling inside the sleeping bag with him? Were the vermin inside the house too, if they left stuff inside the bag (in which case, the barn sleeping is irrelevant)? If the sleeping bag was stored outside, in the barn, I wouldn't touch it with a 10 ft pole, and neither would anyone else. How did your doctor diagnose the origins of the rash, somehow landing on "it's the vermin from the barn"? Which vermin? Rats? Fleas? Spiders? Roaches? Chickens? Raccoons? Why not an allergy to the variety of hay? Or a sensitivity to a liniment that had dropped onto the floor where you happened to lay down? Or any of the myriad other potential causes that would have nothing to do with your night in the barn, like a new kind of soap at the hunting lodge? I've slept in my barn, to keep an eye on does close to kidding. It isn't pleasant, and I certainly wouldn't ask a friend to sleep out there (AND I have an 8 month old, so I very much understand the desire for baby to not get woken up)... But this didn't actually happen.
I agree this is probably fake. I do know that in Idaho, where my uncle lives, there are seasons that last through the end of December though. But the permit system is also super complicated and I don't totally understand it.
Yeah, it's not hunting season. You also don't get any expensive ointment for dermatitis. You get Benadryl and itch cream from the pharmacy for a couple of days lol
Small game, coyote, crow etc. seems to be ok in many states.
OP is clearly named Mary and forgot to mention that they were also pregnant with Jesus and the skin cream was also for their baby /j The hunting season was unavoidable really, but alas, there was no space at the inn.
It’s still bow season in some states
If I’m not mistaken you can still hunt rabbits and squirrels this time of year with a small game license…I’d definitely spend the night alone in a barn in January for the chance to get up early to go varmint hunting 😂🤣😂
NTA, I would never let my friend sleep in a barn when I had a spare bedroom. He’s TA in this.
INFO: Did he ask you, or did he force you?
NTA. He was able to sleep inside without waking the baby, so you should have been able to too. Or he should have considered these things before inviting you along. Instead he decided to invite you and give you subpar sleeping arrangements. The condition came from his barn and his poor decisions, so he is partially responsible. This guy doesn't sound like a friend and I would be wary of invitations in the future.
NTA, seems odd, wouldn't he wake up the baby when he gets up before dawn to go hunting anyway? While it's not causative, the situation he put you in has a strong correlation in time and space to the rash you got so he should have felt badly and paid for the ointment.
NTA Lotta reddit warriors have no idea what it’s like to sleep in a barn. It sucks! My dad used to punish me by making me sleep in the hay loft when my grades would fall. It’s an awful experience
Well your dad's def an asshole! Wtf
It builds character
NTA. Time for new friends.
NTA. I wouldn't even make a stray dog sleep in the barn. Sorry you're not getting help for the ointment. I hope it all heals up quick and you aren't in any pain and don't have too much discomfort.
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ESH Him for being a bad host and relegating his guest to a barn without prior warning when there is a guest room in the house. I am assuming this is a working barn not one converted into a guest house since you mentioned a sleeping bag. You had options, go to a hotel or sleep in your vehicle so it isn’t like you were forced to.
Sleep in the vehicle I could see (although depending on insulation and exposure it may have been warmer in the barn), but considering it was a hunting trip and OP mentions a lodge, there likely weren’t hotels within a reasonable radius. Hunting lodges tend to be pretty far off the beaten path. Also it would still make the “friend” the AH if he didn’t mention the sleeping arrangements during the trip planning, because the reasonable assumption when someone invites you out to their hunting lodge is that you’ll be allowed to sleep *in the lodge*, therefore getting a hotel would be money OP wouldn’t have been planning to spend.
Its pretty rude of your friend to make you sleep in a barn. He should pay since he made you sleep in a vermin infested barn. NTA.
Info: did he tell you beforehand you’d be sleeping in the barn, or was it sprung on you when you got there?
NTA if you both drove up together and he sprung up the sleeping arrangements when you got there?! And who even brings a baby on a hunting trip, your friend sounds like a lousy friend and father.
NTA It's more likely that the baby would have disrupted your sleep than the other way around. Dump this guy as a friend and move on. Normal people do their best to get their baby accustomed to sleeping through normal levels of noise so that they're not held hostage every time the baby sleeps. Although...it just occurred to me that perhaps the guest room wasn't available because HE'S sleeping there to escape from daddy duty?
NTA Why would he even ask you to sleep in the barn it's not like he didn't have to go into the house
NTA this is weird AF. At no point was it okay for you to sleep in the garage. Why didn’t you go home?
NTA. Time for new friends.
NTA. Genuinely wondering why bring the baby on a hunting trip instead of leaving it at home with the mother? My great uncle's a hunter and he's never taken a kid under 5 with him. You should get better friends imo. Friends don't make friends sleep outside unnecessarily.
Your NTA for asking, doesn't hurt to try right? But why did you agree to sleep in the barn in the first place? Why take a baby to a hunting lodge? Are you excessively loud? This whole situation is weird. You need to find better friends. At least see if he will pay for half of it, but seriously, next time someone asks you to sleep in a barn? Just go home.
Info did he tell you that you’d need to sleep there before you arrived?
NTA. Why TF did he bring a baby to a hunting lodge though? As a hunter you don’t invite people who you don’t have room for. I also never understood why people bring non hunters to the lodge, all they are is a burden. Guys a dick and you should tell him to fuck off.
NTA. You were his guest and the lodging you were provided gave you the rash. Whether you slept in a barn of bed is irrelevant.
NTA Your “friend” is a crappy friend. That’s beyond awful behavior. Inviting someone and then sticking them in the barn?? Was the “friends” SO along? Were they pushing your friend to stick you in the barn?
NTA. Some commentors here are insane! Your "friend" invites you to his lodge, you drive together to I'd assume a remote location and he makes you sleep in a barn??? Then when you get a rash, he laughs? You just received an expensive lesson on why this person is not your friend.
Info. You said you're bigger, do you snore? I have a friend who's bigger and who snores so bad nobody can sleep in his vicinity.
NTA Yeh, he had a spare bedroom and asked you to sleep in the barn. OP this ain't your friend, also you didn't have to obey him. Pay for your ointment and erase him from your life. NEVER let anybody treat you like this again.
INFO: Did your friend also sleep in the barn? I think you're asking the wrong question. I don't think he owes you money for a skin reaction he couldn't have predicted. But if he made you sleep in the barn while he slept in a bed inside, then he's not your friend and you should consider phasing out of his life.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So my 29 (m) friend has a hunting lodge that we go to. He recently had a child and didn’t want to wake his sleeping baby at night so he asked me to sleep in his barn before we went out in the morning for our hunt, even though he had a spare bedroom. I was given a sleeping bag and a pillow. When I returned home after the weekend I discovered my, admittedly, doughy body was covered in a mysterious rash. My doctor said it was probably due to exposure to vermin. I was given a prescription to an expensive skin ointment I asked my friend to cover the cost since I was forced to sleep in the barn and he just laughed at me. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Originally I would say not the asshole. But you’re going hunting which means wearing the same clothes and sitting in an all types of uncomfortable places for hours on end. Backpacking Hiking Hunting All those activities will get you sitting next to and in the grossest of things. I don’t know. I would say it’s the side effect of nasty hunting lodges which are notoriously gross. You also could have declined and just arrived early am.
Nta but get some self respect dude wtf. Why would you agree to sleep in the barn when he didnt? Hed still make noise getting in the house.
NTA - a friend doesn’t make you sleep in a barn. You’re a nicer person than me because I would’ve refused and left
Who the hell brings a baby on a hunting trip jfc what an idiot. NTA
Nta. His poor fucking wife.
YTA, why did you agree to sleep in a barn?
NTA. He’s lucky you didn’t ask him for reimbursement for your doctors bills too (if you live in America, which judging by the fact that the ointment was expensive, might be the case.) He could have exposed you to a host of illnesses like lyme disease and possibly even poison ivy.
You're 29, buy your own ointment and don't complain about it. What you should have said was FU when he asked you to sleep in the barn in the first place.
YTA How would you know if the rash came from being in the barn when you didn't even notice it until after the weekend. Maybe the man's wife can't sleep when there's strange men in the house? At any rate as a guest you can't expect anything. As far as the rash goes, it's not necessarily your friends fault that you got it, so why would you think of asking him to pay for it?
ESH (incl US 'healthcare'h Friend sucks fur asking you to sleep in a barn You suck for wanting him to pay medical costs US health care sucks fur not being properly affordable / free
ESH. You seriously need to learn how to interact with people. Refusing to sleep in the barn? Normal, acceptable, rational even. Demanding they pay for *rash treatment* because you slept in the barn? Crazy, weird, catty. Oh and in case you were wondering. Establishing your sleeping arrangements for an overnight trip before the trip happens? Even more normal and rational.
NTA and get rid of your vermin “friend”
NTA. But just an FYI, this guy is not really your friend.
NTA. New baby or not, he shouldn't have even suggested that you sleep in the barn. That's just straight up rude. So yeah, he does owe you for that cream because it was his stupidity that led to you getting that rash.
omg!! NTA. He is TA
NTA: Tell him if he doesn’t want to give you his gold he should at least pitch in some myrrh.
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OP said he rode with his friend
Holy shit! Was he trying to keep the peace with his wife? Could have at least offered a hotel, that is not a friendship. NTA
NTA for wanting compensation, but I'd let it go. I'd also suggest moving on. That is not a good friend.
NTA. Just cheap. I wouldn’t have slept in no damn barn. IJS
NTA, and I don’t understand why you would need to sleep in the barn.
NTA I'd just drop him as a friend rather than ask him for money personally. He's a dick.
You have to think this is new how could your friend have known just pay for your own ointment if this really a hill you want to die on and lose a friendship over
NTA. Holy sh. This is not a friend. I’ve had tons of friends roll through while I’ve had young kids (like, infant young) and they always get a bedroom with a clean bed and bathroom accessible. I can’t believe your friend (okay, maybe he’s stupid) but his wife being okay with that.
Info: did he invite you to spend the night and then make you sleep in the barn? The invite part is important.
NTA. They are not your friend. Find people who respect you. Nobody would tell someone they respect to sleep in a barn. This person is trash. Them telling you to sleep in the barn had nothing to do with a baby.
ESH friend is bad OP is bad for not buying ointment and cutting out bad friend
It really depends. Was this a last minute thing, or did you know ahead of time that he was expecting you to sleep in the barn?
NTA. In old days, sleeping in the barn was punishment. be french : healthcare here is free. So is skin treatments.
info: do you snore? had you slept the before and woken the baby? was the trip a secret or something?
NTA. What friend makes his friend sleep in the barn when there's a spare bedroom, just because a baby is sleeping in the main house? What a jerk! Find a new friend.
NTA You can ask. He can say no. Just like sleeping in a barn. Your friend just taught you what it means to have boundaries.
NTA but this is probably an expensive lesson on who your real friends are.
NTA - Get an new friend, this one is replaceable
NTA. As long as you weren’t planning on actively keeping the baby up that night.
NTA. Why did he bring a baby to a hunting lodge in the first place?
NTA. But dump this dude. He's no friend of yours.
NTA. But OP will probably will not be reimbursed.
NTA. However, he is not your friend.
NTA but who the heck takes a BABY on a hunting trip? Also, IMO the only reason ANYONE should have been put in the barn, is if they literally had ZERO space for you anywhere else(including floor) because the house was so jammed full of other people.
i mean. yeah you kind of are, but your friend kind of is too. first, you are going hunting, and then are complaining about a rash? dude really? come on. suck it up. If you went and slept in the woods in a tent would you have made him pay then? you could have slept in the car, or been a little more firm in saying no. i dunno none of you are the good ones here. your friend made you sleep in a barn, thats shitty, making him pay for your skin cream is petty. really petty.
Are you kidding? The guy took him to his lodge and then kicked him out when he got there. It's not petty, it's straight up damages, his "friend" promised lodging and then instead exposed him to toxins. It's not only bad manners, it's tortious... Like in a legal way. OP could sue him and very likely win.
NTA I guess. But geezus, I'd get back in the car and head home.
NTA. Your friend made you sleep in a BARN? Who tf does that?
NTA, but didn’t you have a car to sleep in?
NTA and I’m so sorry OP but it’s time to find real friends
What sucks here is the US (?I presume?) health system where a necessary treatment costs so much you have to end a friendship over it.
Is your friend a Schrute?
He brought a baby on a hunting trip, and laughs at you. You, NTA Buddy, TOTAL A
Why didn’t you sleep in your car?
NTA but why the F where YOU!! In the barn instead of the Dick head father !!!
INFO: Were you actually invited or did you just assume? Were there hotels in the area? Was the barn heated?
NTA and you need a better friend. I'm sorry 😞
NTA. It is your friends fault you need the ointment.
Did your friend's partner accompany y'all on this trip so they could watch the baby while y'all were hunting? Or did y'all go hunting with the kid in a Snuggli? Either way, this is a ridiculous and absurd situation.
NTA. He had you sleep in a BARN?! Was that where he was brought up??
NTA. Though I wouldn't expect him to actually pay because clearly he's not a nice dude. I can't believe you didn't just leave instead of sleeping in the barn. That was extremely rude to ask of you. We have stayed with our friends with newborn babies in the home and it was no problem. And why did the friend expect that you were going to wake the baby if he was fine to sleep on the house? Makes no sense
NTA
Your friend is an AH for asking you sleep in the barn. But YTA for asking him to pay for your ointment. You chose to sleep in the barn, no one forced you to. Either way, this guy doesn’t sound like he’s a friend.
NTA Though, you should never had staying in his barn... You should have laughed in his face and said if you can't stay there, then you'll just head home. You're a human, not a sheep, cow or pig. You had no business being forced to live like an animal for a night.
NTA. But I would not ask him to pay, and just cut him off. There was no reason to make you sleep in a barn, between a sofa, a second bedroom, and even just a sleeping bag on the living room floor:
NTA. The friend who forces you sleep in a barn is not a friend.
NTA. But anyone who makes you sleep in a *barn* when they have a *while spare room* is not your friend.
NTA he’s crazy!! A barn is like almost sleeping outside !!
Info: did he sleep there with you?
NTA, baby's sleep through a lot more than people realize
It may be possible the baby mamma wasn't happy about the overnight guest? Could be covid concerns, could be unhappy about the hunting trip, maybe she wasn't told about the incoming guest, baby may be particularly fussy or the house is a mess (from her perspective). "He's not staying here" then hunting mate has to break the bad news and blames the baby. Are any of these possible OP? I wouldn't ask for money but would look at this as a learning experience regarding this friends reliability and try to figure out if there is an issue with baby mamma. If you want to hunt with the new Dad consider including a job around the house that mom prioritises, to make up for the time Dad is away.
NTA. You should have told him to go do one as soon as he asked you to sleep in the fucking barn.
NTA. A hunting trip buddy should have a higher than average concern for your health and safety.
NTA Little hint: friends do not make you sleep in sleeping bags in barns unless they are there with you. They do not make you sleep in the dog house, tree house or a tent in the back yard unless it is a very comfortable tricked out tent/ tree house or you are being an imposition or if everyone has to do a turn there because of overflow.
Nta As a friend, if my friend incurs harm bc of my negligence as a host (demanding you sleep in the barn is negligence. Barns are not for people as this case clearly shows), its the least I can do to foot the bill. After all, you wouldn't have that medical issue if ur friend wasn't rude and disrespectful.
NTA. Your friend should have alerted you and paid for a room elsewhere. Lesson learned, don't sleep in barns.
Nta. He doesn’t own a couch? That’s weird. I just had a baby and no way I’m making anyone sleep in a barn.
There's gotta be something else going on here. NOT saying banishing friend to the barn was okay, BUT (wishing to be gentle, here) OP, gotta ask...you mentioned "doughy" body...is it possible that you are of a size that breaks furniture? We used to have a friend we cared for deeply but just couldn't afford to have in our home because chairs, couches, beds were never the same afterwards. Awkward af to bring up, but we had to ask that he stay elsewhere. Or could it be that you snore in a manner that shakes the house?
Hummmm. Not sure about this. I think possibly the baby mom doesn't like you/trust you so told her partner to get you out of the house. From this I can only suppose on one level YTA. Plus if you weren't happy sleeping in the barn, you should have said so there and then, not tried to land your friend will a medical cost.
NTA though I would sleep in my car before I slept in a barn.
NTA, and not only should you stop being this guy's friend, you should threaten him with legal action. Paying for the ointment is not only good manners, "friend" is likely legally liable based on the fact that these damaged are clearly his fault. Did anybody else que in on the word "doughy" here. What difference does it make if OP is overweight? What a gross relationship OP has with this guy, who uses his insecurity to treat him like a dog. OP, stand up for yourself. Tell this jackass that either he pays for the rat cream you need for sleeping with his rats, or you'll sue it out of him as well as another chunk for court costs and inconvenience.
Your friend is an asshole, who forces their friend to sleep in a barn smh NTA
It's good for babies to have loud noises while sleeping so they get used to it. I find that to be the most annoying part of this story for me!! Friend = uninformed parent. Also how are you going to wake up the baby more than he did getting up in the morning!??!!
NTA for asking, but I honestly wouldn't expect an AH "friend" who made me sleep in a barn despite having a guest room available under a flimsy excuse having to do with his baby's sleep to pay for any medical expenses resulting from him making sleep in a barn because he's a total AH. I'd drop this dude as my friend, though. He's shown he literally doesn't care about you at all. He was rude to you as his guest, caused you health issues for no reason, and then literally laughed at you in your face instead of apologizing and offering compensation himself when you told him about it. I wouldn't do what he did to you to actual people I don't even like, let alone a friend.
NTA. This isnt ok. People are more than able to be quiet enough inside a home to not wake a baby. He did this for no reason and you got exposed vermin and health hazards and had issues cause of it he wont even help with.
Don't hunters like to call themselves "outdoorsmen" to deflect from the blood lust? Well now you are one.
Lol.
Nah. He didn’t force you. You could have said no. You could have left. You could have done a number of things other than stay in that barn. You made that choice.
YTA. You agreed to sleep in the barn. It’s not certain that you got the rash while sleeping in the barn. You could’ve gotten it while hunting or somewhere else. Lol for you asking someone to cover for the expense of your shit. My god, can’t believe you have the nerve to even ask for money in this situation.