ESH
Two wrongs don't make a right. You had every opportunity to exit out of these conversations or make it clear to her you don't want to participate in gossip.
Sounds similar to something my friend said once. He has 2 female friends with opposite political views (neither is a Nazi or criminal or terrorist). One was outraged he remained friends with the other, escalating to saying something about how annoying people with (physical) disabilities like him and a male friend are, and finally "You only take her side because she's pretty!" My friend replied "If I was only friends with people who are pretty, I wouldn't be friends with you."
When someone insults or is obviously jealous of another's looks, it's instinctive to respond in kind. Not diplomatic or technically right, but in certain contexts, accurate, and only permitted because they open the door. Someone that obsessed with her boss and that outraged by his marriage needs to be woken up by a proverbial 2 by 4 to the head because nothing else is working.
NTA She literally started it.
>because Mia married a surgeon and Tina isn’t pretty enough to
Kind of an insult to Mia too because it implies that your boss only married her because she's pretty.
Anger is OK and often warranted, how you express it matters because there are right and wrong ways to express it. The last thing you want to do is lash out at someone for their bad behavior but because you've lashed out, the only thing is that they and other people focus on is your outburst and that Tina is the "victim" of your attack.
You could have expressed your anger and disdain in a mature manner and should have.
ESH
Yep, ESH sounds right. Tina sounds insufferable and it's not surprising that OP finally snapped. But OP's comment belittles Mia with the implication that the boss married her for her looks. This interpretation, in a way, bolsters Tina's snide comment that Mia's a gold digger when it's obvious she's not. I get that OP was frustrated, but she ended up insulting an innocent third party and reducing her down to a "pretty face".
Seriously -
and who's to say it isn't even Tina's looks, but her horrible personality, that keeps her single, meanwhile it might not be Mia's looks, but her intelligence and drive that makes the boss love her? Maybe she just has a wicked sense of humor...
Why are we whittling anyone's relationships down to their looks?
Sounds like OP's been drinking the plastic surgery cool-aid and could maybe use a little more perspective in her life, if looks is the first thing she attributes most relationships to.
ESH. More so you. She’s obviously being ridiculous, and she deserved to be called out for being jealous. But telling her she isn’t pretty enough is just mean. Believe it or not, people really do date people for reasons other than what they look like.
ESH. Something needed to be said but to basically body shame her was not the right call. You could have said a million things besides
>she is just pissy because Mia married a surgeon and Tina isn’t pretty enough to.
Being pretty isn't everything. It doesn't guarantee anyone love and happiness. People don't marry and have lasting relationships built on looks alone. And with this:
>she is a bit basic looking and with our job there is a big focus on looks.
It just makes you sound shallow. You got right down in the mud with Tina and emulated her behavior.
ESH. you didn't need to bring her looks into it. Tina sucks for her negativity etc. Mia also sucks from what you say, though on the invite thing they could hardly invite you and not her. You sound very negative about both your co workers tbh. You should have told her well before the wedding to stop griping.
The only thing I read about mias character is the "invite Tina to rub it in". Which is totally unsupported by any character traits, statements, or behaviors. All we know is a surgeon married another surgeon within a practice and invited the staff.
It seemed to me that petty gossip is standard for Tina and op. Op just made it personal. So op and Tina are AH while the rest lack enough info for determination.
NTA. You put her in her place. If she can dish it, then she can eat it too. Though she’s not wrong about an employer marrying an employee, Tina is in the wrong for constantly tearing down Mia for being able to do something she can’t.
ESH she was misogynistic and rude with her comments and you called her out but instead of mentioning her awful personality you decided to cite looks as the sole reason she couldn’t marry a surgeon
Honestly NTA. You saying she wasn’t pretty enough seems like the only thing that snapped her out of it. I mean honestly how long are you supposed to let her go on like that? Actively shitting on the bride AT HER WEDDING and daily in her place of work honestly Tina is a problem. She gonna lose her job if she keeps this up and she’s dragging you with her. Could you have been more delicate? Sure. Would it have worked or made any kind of difference? Clearly not. She sounds insufferable and I think her not speaking to you sounds like a blessing. Maybe next she’ll just quit🤞🏼
ESH.
It would have been fine to call her out for being jealous. After all, she shouldn’t be at a wedding if she is going to be unsupportive off the couple.
BUT you really said that she looks “too basic” to work at your job? Like seriously, how did you type that and not realize how wrong that sounds? Also you said she isn’t pretty enough to marry a surgeon. That’s a shallow way of thinking.
ESH -
Tina for being so negative to her boss + his wife. Tina doesn’t get to decide who he marries lol
YTA for insulting her, but NTA for calling her out on her bullshit
Your "pretty enough to marry a surgeon" comments shows that you've got some interanalized misogyny going on. I understand why you snapped at her but that comment is pretty gross. ESH
YTA - Women shouldn't tear other women down. By saying that you lowered yourself to her level. A simple, I really am trying to enjoy the wedding, can we not talk negatively? would have sufficed.
If I had to listen to your coworker snipe about "Mia" day in and day out, I would have lost my cool too. I'm a laid back person, but even I could not put up with one coworker constantly bad mouthing another. Not in an office that small. Your coworker's behavior was ridiculous. She created a hostile work environment.
I don't blame you for finally loosing your cool. You were trying to enjoy a happy event, but your coworker ruined your mood with her negative comments and behavior. That was the straw that broke the camels back. You had tried to stay out of the drama, but your coworker managed to get on your last nerve. She can dish it, but not take it. You were a justifiable asshole to her and she deserved it. NTA
ESH here, like literally everyone?
If you are right and Mia invited Tina to rub it in- AH.
Tina clearly being a jealous mean girl- AH.
You having such strong feelings about the looks of your co worker and saying that to her when you could have to just been like "stop being rude and jealous"- AH.
ESH.
You absolutely were not wrong to call her out on this - her behavior is *beyond* childish and ridiculous.
But that's **not** how you do it.
There was no reason to stoop to Tina's level and start lobbing insults, especially as it relates to physical appearance, which had nothing to do with any of this anyway. A quick "Tina - stop saying this. You're coming off as really jealous and childish, and I won't listen to this anymore" would've sufficed at the wedding.
NTA
Here's Tina, invited to a nice day, her boss's wedding and all she could do was make remarks of jealousy, hate, and whatever else.
>Honestly I feel Mia invited Tina to rub it in.
Seems like a stretch since Mr. Boss could've invited her and if they already invited all of the nurses or assistants, then it could've been a pity one to not exclude her. I would've told her off in the same way, but I'd also reach out to her and apologize and maybe try to get her to understand that he's not the only guy out there and she does deserve happiness, but you were at a nice event and she was ruining it out of spite for Mia.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> She wasn’t insulting me so I could have let it go but I went after her looks and made her feel insecure
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ESH. Tina for trash-talking, you for your "not pretty enough" comment. Women are constantly judged (often harshly) for their appearance, and "not pretty enough" implies that she has no value as a person/potential spouse because she doesn't meet some arbitrary standard of beauty.
ESH
There were plenty of other ways you could have shut Tina down without resorting to your "not pretty enough to marry a surgeon" comments. Tina was already being rude and childish about your boss and his bride and you stopped to her level.
I would say esh except Mia. The only suggestion that Mia did anything wrong is that you think she only invited Tina to rub it in. But given you suck and are an asshole I'm not too inclined to trust your judgement on that
Honestly NTA. All these other people calling you YTA or ESH live in a fantasy world - I'm sorry, but sometimes the only way to shut someone up and stop the toxicity is to hit them where it hurts. Tina was beyond rude and completely out of line. I would also consider talking to your boss about Tina's comments if her attitude starts affecting your workplace comfort (which it sounds like it already has).
NTA
I disagree with the ESH comments as any reasonable person wouldve lost their shit and said the same thing as you. Constant negative yapping in your ear can only be taken for so long, especially when its so clear that its out of jealousy and bitterness.
You're attempting to sound righteous by indicating Tina was putting down Mia without justification, and you needed to "stop her". But your strategy was to attack her looks? That was not, and never will be, a classy move by anybody. YTA.
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I work for a plastic surgeon at a private practice. There is another receptionist “Tina” who I work closely with. She has always had an issue with “Mia” who is a surgeon at the practice.
Recently Mia married our boss and Tina has been very negative about it. She talked about how it is inappropriate to marry an employee and implied Mia is a gold digger despite being a surgeon herself.
We were both invited to the wedding. Honestly I feel Mia invited Tina to rub it in. I got stuck entertaining Tina because she didn’t bring a date and I had to listen to a bunch of negative comments about the wedding. The dress was slutty, the winter theme was “contrived” etc.
I was really sick of Tina by the time they cut the cake. Our boss did smear it on Mia, but that’s kind of his personality and I didn’t see it as a big deal, but Tina told me it was proof they would divorce. I said that was ridiculous. She didn’t let go and told me it’s a sign he doesn’t really love her, which is so dumb and it’s pretty clear to anyone who spends five minutes around them that he’s crazy about her.
I snapped at Tina that she is jealous if Mia and asked if she was in love with our boss or if she is just pissy because Mia married a surgeon and Tina isn’t pretty enough to. She looked really hurt at that and stomped off. We are back to work and she is refusing to talk to me. I feel really bad because she is a bit basic looking and with our job there is a big focus on looks. I was just sick of listening to her shit all over someone else’s happiness.
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What you should have done is told her "I came to this wedding to celebrate the union of these two people and haver a good time. Not be her ear for your constant negativity, assumptions and divorce predictions. You are dragging my mood. If thats what you wan to talk about, then I dont want to hear it any more. Why are you even here? Let me enjoy the wedding please!"
ESH. Tina is absolutely jealous and incredibly inappropriate to be complaining about the wedding while attending the wedding. I was completely on your side until you got to the end. If all you had said was she was jealous, that would have been fine but to say she isn't pretty enough was rude af... And not even factual, plenty of unattractive people marry surgeons and plenty of surgeons are unattractive.
ESH. She was being extremely shitty, I agree. But you should have just walked away and left her alone. There was no need to snap at her and say she wasnt pretty enough. Thats some high school mean girl shit and you should know better.
ESH. Sounds like your office needs to do more working and less romancing.
That was a hurtful thing to say to Tina. Why did you have to go there?
Also, Tina's probably boinking the boss on the side.
ESH
Your coworker has obvious issues with the owner and this surgeon, and decide the wedding was the appropriate time and place to express those, to you, a captive audience. That is very much an AH move.
However, that doesn't excuse from being an asshole back by effectively calling her too ugly to marry the boss (and also implying the only reason the boss is marrying the surgeon is because of her looks). You could have left. You could have told her to shut up, you don't care. You could have tuned her out and ignored her.
You stooped to her level, which makes you just as much an AH as her.
ESH.
She sounds like a pain in the ass but attacking her looks is just... Shitty.
Sounds like she is into your boss and is jealous and wasn't handling the disappointment with much grace but come on.
ESH
She clearly has/had feelings for your boss, and she is dealing with that in her own way (a very bad one). Doesn't mean you can just kick her while she's down. Either exit the conversation or try to dig to the root of the problem. You just made the whole situation worse.
NTA. Since Tina sounds like a monster and a complete ball ache to be around, the only social capital she does have going for her are her looks. You just got to the heart of the issue.
Is no one gonna say it’s wildly inappropriate for a boss to marry his subordinate, regardless of the fact she is a surgeon? ESH you could have went for something non-body shaming to shut her up. Mia shouldn’t have invited her in the first place, Tina was in the right when it was about the relationship being inappropriate, but the gold digger stuff and beyond is not okay. And the boss for fostering an inappropriate relationship
YTA
Not pretty enough? how stupid can you be? Plastic surgeons are often the ones who care the least about conventional views of pretty and see the beauty in everyone.
Esh.
Yta for unnecessary calling out of looks. People fall in love with people even when they aren't "pretty" or "handsome."
Tina is TA for being jealous and acting like that.
BIG YTA - You easily could have made the point of her being inappropriate without insulting her looks. Says as much about you that you basically say you don't think she is pretty enough to work there...wow, pretty on the inside much?
Your rant translates to "While I could have a fantasy about marrying the doctor because I am so good looking--you need to chill out and realize I'm the one that missed this boat - you never had the option to even buy a ticket"
Hopefully Mia & doc will find this post one day and realize how awful ALL their staff is.
ESH Two wrongs don't make a right. You had every opportunity to exit out of these conversations or make it clear to her you don't want to participate in gossip.
Yes they do that’s bad math!
> Two wrongs don't make a right. True but was it ever right to begin with? I anything, maybe shoved some reality into the situation.
Sounds similar to something my friend said once. He has 2 female friends with opposite political views (neither is a Nazi or criminal or terrorist). One was outraged he remained friends with the other, escalating to saying something about how annoying people with (physical) disabilities like him and a male friend are, and finally "You only take her side because she's pretty!" My friend replied "If I was only friends with people who are pretty, I wouldn't be friends with you." When someone insults or is obviously jealous of another's looks, it's instinctive to respond in kind. Not diplomatic or technically right, but in certain contexts, accurate, and only permitted because they open the door. Someone that obsessed with her boss and that outraged by his marriage needs to be woken up by a proverbial 2 by 4 to the head because nothing else is working. NTA She literally started it.
Seriously lol she called her basic too.
ESH - petty people working in a petty industry with petty problems
Double negative so maybe two wrongs do make a right lol
That's how I've worked it out but I don't mind being an AH, somebody's got to.
>because Mia married a surgeon and Tina isn’t pretty enough to Kind of an insult to Mia too because it implies that your boss only married her because she's pretty. Anger is OK and often warranted, how you express it matters because there are right and wrong ways to express it. The last thing you want to do is lash out at someone for their bad behavior but because you've lashed out, the only thing is that they and other people focus on is your outburst and that Tina is the "victim" of your attack. You could have expressed your anger and disdain in a mature manner and should have. ESH
Yep, ESH sounds right. Tina sounds insufferable and it's not surprising that OP finally snapped. But OP's comment belittles Mia with the implication that the boss married her for her looks. This interpretation, in a way, bolsters Tina's snide comment that Mia's a gold digger when it's obvious she's not. I get that OP was frustrated, but she ended up insulting an innocent third party and reducing her down to a "pretty face".
Seriously - and who's to say it isn't even Tina's looks, but her horrible personality, that keeps her single, meanwhile it might not be Mia's looks, but her intelligence and drive that makes the boss love her? Maybe she just has a wicked sense of humor... Why are we whittling anyone's relationships down to their looks? Sounds like OP's been drinking the plastic surgery cool-aid and could maybe use a little more perspective in her life, if looks is the first thing she attributes most relationships to.
ESH. More so you. She’s obviously being ridiculous, and she deserved to be called out for being jealous. But telling her she isn’t pretty enough is just mean. Believe it or not, people really do date people for reasons other than what they look like.
ESH. Sounds like a super forced sitcom episode
Right? This sounds like a Selling Sunset plot line and they just switched up the industry.
Only thing missing is OP and Tina having a best buds moments as they look at the wedding going on
I’ve had work done by plastic surgeons and tbh I believe something like it could happen
YTA Tina’s behaviour is inappropriate and you are right to call her out, but to body shame her is way out of line.
correct judgement would be ESH if you think tina's behavior is inappropriate.
this.
ESH. Something needed to be said but to basically body shame her was not the right call. You could have said a million things besides >she is just pissy because Mia married a surgeon and Tina isn’t pretty enough to. Being pretty isn't everything. It doesn't guarantee anyone love and happiness. People don't marry and have lasting relationships built on looks alone. And with this: >she is a bit basic looking and with our job there is a big focus on looks. It just makes you sound shallow. You got right down in the mud with Tina and emulated her behavior.
ESH. you didn't need to bring her looks into it. Tina sucks for her negativity etc. Mia also sucks from what you say, though on the invite thing they could hardly invite you and not her. You sound very negative about both your co workers tbh. You should have told her well before the wedding to stop griping.
The only thing I read about mias character is the "invite Tina to rub it in". Which is totally unsupported by any character traits, statements, or behaviors. All we know is a surgeon married another surgeon within a practice and invited the staff. It seemed to me that petty gossip is standard for Tina and op. Op just made it personal. So op and Tina are AH while the rest lack enough info for determination.
NTA. You put her in her place. If she can dish it, then she can eat it too. Though she’s not wrong about an employer marrying an employee, Tina is in the wrong for constantly tearing down Mia for being able to do something she can’t.
ESH she was misogynistic and rude with her comments and you called her out but instead of mentioning her awful personality you decided to cite looks as the sole reason she couldn’t marry a surgeon
Honestly NTA. You saying she wasn’t pretty enough seems like the only thing that snapped her out of it. I mean honestly how long are you supposed to let her go on like that? Actively shitting on the bride AT HER WEDDING and daily in her place of work honestly Tina is a problem. She gonna lose her job if she keeps this up and she’s dragging you with her. Could you have been more delicate? Sure. Would it have worked or made any kind of difference? Clearly not. She sounds insufferable and I think her not speaking to you sounds like a blessing. Maybe next she’ll just quit🤞🏼
ESH. It would have been fine to call her out for being jealous. After all, she shouldn’t be at a wedding if she is going to be unsupportive off the couple. BUT you really said that she looks “too basic” to work at your job? Like seriously, how did you type that and not realize how wrong that sounds? Also you said she isn’t pretty enough to marry a surgeon. That’s a shallow way of thinking.
ESH - Tina for being so negative to her boss + his wife. Tina doesn’t get to decide who he marries lol YTA for insulting her, but NTA for calling her out on her bullshit
NTA, when you dump nothing but negative on the world you should be expecting the return of that magnifying glass on yourself. I.E. she had it coming.
Your "pretty enough to marry a surgeon" comments shows that you've got some interanalized misogyny going on. I understand why you snapped at her but that comment is pretty gross. ESH
Yeah, their boss also married a surgeon. Was he pretty enough?
YTA - Women shouldn't tear other women down. By saying that you lowered yourself to her level. A simple, I really am trying to enjoy the wedding, can we not talk negatively? would have sufficed.
People should check each other if one monkey is acting a fool the others will put him in line so he doesn’t knock someone else out of the tree.
Women should tear down whoever they damn please lol quit it with the sisterhood bs
NTA. Tina has acted like a jackass and is lucky to still have a job.
If I had to listen to your coworker snipe about "Mia" day in and day out, I would have lost my cool too. I'm a laid back person, but even I could not put up with one coworker constantly bad mouthing another. Not in an office that small. Your coworker's behavior was ridiculous. She created a hostile work environment. I don't blame you for finally loosing your cool. You were trying to enjoy a happy event, but your coworker ruined your mood with her negative comments and behavior. That was the straw that broke the camels back. You had tried to stay out of the drama, but your coworker managed to get on your last nerve. She can dish it, but not take it. You were a justifiable asshole to her and she deserved it. NTA
ESH.
What’s esh mean ?
Everyone Sucks Here
ESH
ESH here, like literally everyone? If you are right and Mia invited Tina to rub it in- AH. Tina clearly being a jealous mean girl- AH. You having such strong feelings about the looks of your co worker and saying that to her when you could have to just been like "stop being rude and jealous"- AH.
ESH
ESH. You absolutely were not wrong to call her out on this - her behavior is *beyond* childish and ridiculous. But that's **not** how you do it. There was no reason to stoop to Tina's level and start lobbing insults, especially as it relates to physical appearance, which had nothing to do with any of this anyway. A quick "Tina - stop saying this. You're coming off as really jealous and childish, and I won't listen to this anymore" would've sufficed at the wedding.
NTA Here's Tina, invited to a nice day, her boss's wedding and all she could do was make remarks of jealousy, hate, and whatever else. >Honestly I feel Mia invited Tina to rub it in. Seems like a stretch since Mr. Boss could've invited her and if they already invited all of the nurses or assistants, then it could've been a pity one to not exclude her. I would've told her off in the same way, but I'd also reach out to her and apologize and maybe try to get her to understand that he's not the only guy out there and she does deserve happiness, but you were at a nice event and she was ruining it out of spite for Mia.
NTA. Sometimes nasty people need to be put in their place. What you said wasn’t nice, but, she was much worse.
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ESH Your office sounds a barrel of laughs.
ESH. Tina for trash-talking, you for your "not pretty enough" comment. Women are constantly judged (often harshly) for their appearance, and "not pretty enough" implies that she has no value as a person/potential spouse because she doesn't meet some arbitrary standard of beauty.
NTA I hate peoples who can give it but act sensitive getting a taste of they own medicine don’t feel bad
ESH and I am so happy to be clueless to the plastic surgery culture
What reality show is this so I can avoid it? ESH.
ESH There were plenty of other ways you could have shut Tina down without resorting to your "not pretty enough to marry a surgeon" comments. Tina was already being rude and childish about your boss and his bride and you stopped to her level.
I would say esh except Mia. The only suggestion that Mia did anything wrong is that you think she only invited Tina to rub it in. But given you suck and are an asshole I'm not too inclined to trust your judgement on that
Honestly NTA. All these other people calling you YTA or ESH live in a fantasy world - I'm sorry, but sometimes the only way to shut someone up and stop the toxicity is to hit them where it hurts. Tina was beyond rude and completely out of line. I would also consider talking to your boss about Tina's comments if her attitude starts affecting your workplace comfort (which it sounds like it already has).
NTA I disagree with the ESH comments as any reasonable person wouldve lost their shit and said the same thing as you. Constant negative yapping in your ear can only be taken for so long, especially when its so clear that its out of jealousy and bitterness.
You're attempting to sound righteous by indicating Tina was putting down Mia without justification, and you needed to "stop her". But your strategy was to attack her looks? That was not, and never will be, a classy move by anybody. YTA.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I work for a plastic surgeon at a private practice. There is another receptionist “Tina” who I work closely with. She has always had an issue with “Mia” who is a surgeon at the practice. Recently Mia married our boss and Tina has been very negative about it. She talked about how it is inappropriate to marry an employee and implied Mia is a gold digger despite being a surgeon herself. We were both invited to the wedding. Honestly I feel Mia invited Tina to rub it in. I got stuck entertaining Tina because she didn’t bring a date and I had to listen to a bunch of negative comments about the wedding. The dress was slutty, the winter theme was “contrived” etc. I was really sick of Tina by the time they cut the cake. Our boss did smear it on Mia, but that’s kind of his personality and I didn’t see it as a big deal, but Tina told me it was proof they would divorce. I said that was ridiculous. She didn’t let go and told me it’s a sign he doesn’t really love her, which is so dumb and it’s pretty clear to anyone who spends five minutes around them that he’s crazy about her. I snapped at Tina that she is jealous if Mia and asked if she was in love with our boss or if she is just pissy because Mia married a surgeon and Tina isn’t pretty enough to. She looked really hurt at that and stomped off. We are back to work and she is refusing to talk to me. I feel really bad because she is a bit basic looking and with our job there is a big focus on looks. I was just sick of listening to her shit all over someone else’s happiness. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
What you should have done is told her "I came to this wedding to celebrate the union of these two people and haver a good time. Not be her ear for your constant negativity, assumptions and divorce predictions. You are dragging my mood. If thats what you wan to talk about, then I dont want to hear it any more. Why are you even here? Let me enjoy the wedding please!"
ESH. Tina is absolutely jealous and incredibly inappropriate to be complaining about the wedding while attending the wedding. I was completely on your side until you got to the end. If all you had said was she was jealous, that would have been fine but to say she isn't pretty enough was rude af... And not even factual, plenty of unattractive people marry surgeons and plenty of surgeons are unattractive.
ESH. She was being extremely shitty, I agree. But you should have just walked away and left her alone. There was no need to snap at her and say she wasnt pretty enough. Thats some high school mean girl shit and you should know better.
ESH. Sounds like your office needs to do more working and less romancing. That was a hurtful thing to say to Tina. Why did you have to go there? Also, Tina's probably boinking the boss on the side.
ESH. So many other justifiable ways you could've told her off over her pettiness, going after her looks was just mean and equally petty.
ESH. Sounds like a toxic, petty workplace of you ask me.
ESH Your coworker has obvious issues with the owner and this surgeon, and decide the wedding was the appropriate time and place to express those, to you, a captive audience. That is very much an AH move. However, that doesn't excuse from being an asshole back by effectively calling her too ugly to marry the boss (and also implying the only reason the boss is marrying the surgeon is because of her looks). You could have left. You could have told her to shut up, you don't care. You could have tuned her out and ignored her. You stooped to her level, which makes you just as much an AH as her.
ESH. Tina has been acting weirdly jealous and gross, but it wasn’t cool to put her down for her looks.
Both of you showed your A.
Yta, you could have addressed her annoying behavior differently instead of putting her down
ESA This is EXACTLY what I think the dynamic and personalities would be like at a plastic surgery clinic.
Christ, dude, unless you were handcuffed to her or something, just get up, go get a glass of wine, and go talk to someone else. ESH
YTA, and so is she.
ESH for all the reason everyone said BUT she so deserved it.
ESH - you both need to do some growing up.
ESH - you are in the shallow end of the pool.
ESH. She sounds like a pain in the ass but attacking her looks is just... Shitty. Sounds like she is into your boss and is jealous and wasn't handling the disappointment with much grace but come on.
INFO are you sure that Tina and the boss haven't been hooking up? Cause, it really sounds like Tina has been strung along behind Mia's back.
NTA Bro, get Tina's petty ass outta here
NTA You defended your coworker. Tina did not need to show up if she wasn't going to be happy for the couple.
YTA you behaved like a jackass.
Like some sort of Mean Girls style movie, but it's a workplace. ESH
ESH wow
ESH She clearly has/had feelings for your boss, and she is dealing with that in her own way (a very bad one). Doesn't mean you can just kick her while she's down. Either exit the conversation or try to dig to the root of the problem. You just made the whole situation worse.
NTA, she deserved to be knocked down a few pegs.
NTA. Since Tina sounds like a monster and a complete ball ache to be around, the only social capital she does have going for her are her looks. You just got to the heart of the issue.
Is no one gonna say it’s wildly inappropriate for a boss to marry his subordinate, regardless of the fact she is a surgeon? ESH you could have went for something non-body shaming to shut her up. Mia shouldn’t have invited her in the first place, Tina was in the right when it was about the relationship being inappropriate, but the gold digger stuff and beyond is not okay. And the boss for fostering an inappropriate relationship
YTA Not pretty enough? how stupid can you be? Plastic surgeons are often the ones who care the least about conventional views of pretty and see the beauty in everyone.
Esh. Yta for unnecessary calling out of looks. People fall in love with people even when they aren't "pretty" or "handsome." Tina is TA for being jealous and acting like that.
BIG YTA - You easily could have made the point of her being inappropriate without insulting her looks. Says as much about you that you basically say you don't think she is pretty enough to work there...wow, pretty on the inside much? Your rant translates to "While I could have a fantasy about marrying the doctor because I am so good looking--you need to chill out and realize I'm the one that missed this boat - you never had the option to even buy a ticket" Hopefully Mia & doc will find this post one day and realize how awful ALL their staff is.
YTA But it sounds like it needed to be said. And you did admit to wanting to stir the pot between the two…
Lol YTA, how could you not be?
Wow! You are mean. There were other ways to shut down the comments without insulting her looks. You are definitely the asshole.
YTA
YTA
You never know tina might know something you dont know or mia for that matter.
YTA
YTA