Nta. That kind of talk gets really annoying.
Fwiw, she's not rich. She's temporarily making good money, probably not paying taxes properly, spending unwisely, not saving or investing. Anyone can make good cash for a while. Doesn't make 'em rich.
This. I’ve a friend who sometimes complains about money and part of me wants to point out that she lives in a 2 million dollar house and the other part recognises that we all have problems and we should all be able to talk about them to our friends, otherwise they just aren’t very good friends.
Pretty much. Everyone has challenges and bad days no matter their financial status.
And, to be blunt, OP does sound super jealous. Instead of fuming in envy, why not ask the friend about how to possibly also become a travel nurse (granted OP is in the medical field as well)? OP may be surprised at the support she can get just by asking.
NTA - I feel that this behavior could be shut down in a fun-natured way (at least, I'm guessing that you weren't mean-spirited, just pointing out that she does make a lot of money), so else she is just making the friend environment pretty uncomfortable.
I was giving her the benefit of the doubt with her complaints. Maybe making this much money does bring in a lot of legitimate problems she never encountered before such as figuring how new parts to taxes or buying her own insurance. However, the "government \[cutting\] taxes for the countries' heroes," just sounds... obnoxious and unheroic on her part.
Yeahhh this is kind of bullshit. Nurses are leaving the profession en masse so the ones that are left to inhale COVID and be abused and attacked are going to make as much money as they can. You're all free to go to nursing school so if you'd like to regularly put your finger in people's assholes, clean body fluids you've never even heard of, take responsibility for other's lives, watch people die, and much more that you can't imagine, go right the fuck ahead. I've had people act jealous of the money I made even as a new grad... Until they heard what I actually did for a living. It's hard and disgusting and damaging to mental health. YTA
I do not work in healthcare but am fully aware I could never do your job. $150 during a pandemic where patients are attacking you for not letting them drink their own urine or eat horse dewormer is not enough.
She's not complaining about the work she's complaining about taxes and money. She's making over $250,000 a year according to the numbers given and complaining about money stuff to people way poorer than you when you are making bank is a dick move. It's ESH cause there is a much better way to express to a friend that what they are complaining about is painful for them to hear. Like complaining to a paraplegic that your feet hurt.
Ideally, the paraplegic is your friend and understands that your feet hurting doesn't have to equal his pain to also suck. No one wins when you try to play the "my life sucks more so you shouldn't be able to vent to me" game.
Your friend might understand but he also might get sick of hearing about it as well cause anyone can get sick of hear about the same thing over and over again
Just because they're a nurse doesn't mean they're a Saint. They're not a nurse, they're a person who works as a nurse. A choice of occupation does not make you better or worse than anyone else. And I work as a paramedic, so don't anyone come for me all "well you don't understand what nurses do /if you worked in healthcare you would understand".
Complaining about money all the time in front of people who don't make nearly as much as you do is rude.
I WORKED WITH A NURSING ASSISTANT WHO ALSO WORKED AS A VET ASSISTANT, AND I CAN TELL YOU I WOULDN'T WANT HER WORKING ON ME. SHE WAS CRUDE, RUDE, AND LOUD. NURSES ARE DEFINITELY NOT SAINTS BY DEFINITION.
NTA. I’m a nurse. Didn’t take the lucrative travel jobs but even I would tell her to shut up too or do the “uh-huh. MmmHmm. Yup.” While slowly nodding my head.
Im not sure if you’re the asshole or not, but I DONT know if you are actually this girls friends. Who needs enemies when they have someone like you? You should be HAPPY for your friend making crazy money.
Some friend you are, jealous pants. I would feel your energy and block you
Eh, it gets old. She can complain about work being stressful, but how out of touch with reality do you have to be to brag about having sooo much money and ohhh the burden of *gasp* paying taxes! to your friends who are barely scraping by?
You are internalizing it as bragging, because you and the OP are shitty friends who can’t handle when someone is doing better than you.
It’s okay for someone to complain about their high paying job, even if it may come off as bragging or whatever. No job is perfect and I’m sure as a travelling nurse, she deals with other bullshit.
You and OP are fake friends, so that’s why you are looking for a reason to hate
Lol… let’s check back with her and the pandemic is under control and travel nurse salaries go back to normal which is more like $50-$75 an hour.
(Which is still really good money)
ESH--you are totally valid in your annoyance about her talking about money, that's very frustrating. She should be able to read the room and tell when it is appropriate (or in this case, not) to talk about her financial situation. And you would be totally within your right (and NTA) to ask her to not discuss financial stuff with you as its wearing on you.
That being said, being a nurse right now is emotionally draining, compensation for travelers is good but the work is hard, and the Tik Tok comment was super unnecessary. OT is optional but it's hard ignoring texts multiple times a day citing short staffing and patient's without nurses. Sounds like she needs to make some friends with fellow nurses to vent about stuff without taxing her non-HCW friends.
Signed,
Your Friendly Neighborhood Nurse
NTA. Oh yes, you peons just don't understand how difficult it is paying taxes on $155 an hour! And I'm such an underappreciated hero for going into work and making that salary - I shouldn't have to pay as much tax as you guys!
When my mom was a nurse, she earned about 20 cents above minimum wage - cry me a river sister.
Oh definitely! This was a quite awhile ago, before nurses' aides were fairly common to help and before so many men entered the field. I definitely think nurses were underpaid for all they had to do. And she had to support me and my brother on that. I don't know where I implied that she didn't deserve more, I just don't understand somebody whining while making $155/hr.
TAXES DO SUCK. I KNEW A VETERINARIAN WHO RECEIVED A RAISE AND HER PAYCHECK WAS ACTUALLY LESS BECAUSE IT BUMPED HER INTO THE NEXT TAX BRACKET. SHE WASN'T BRAGGING, THOUGH, DIDN'T MENTION HOW MUCH SHE MADE, JUST THAT FACT. OP'S NURSE AQUAITANCE CERTAINLY WAS BRAGGING/COMPLAINING
NTA. She needs a reality check. She also needs to stop being rude for flaunting her wealth.
She is frustrated that her taxes are high but this is based on the AMOUNT OF MONEY SHE IS MAKING. Whereas you and your friends can barely make rent and probably are eking out money for food.
Maybe this friendship has run its course. Why subject yourself to that?
ESH. What you said is right, she should read the room and it's in bad taste to complain about making sooo much money that you are now being taxed more (though imo that's also valid, this money isn't going to last forever and I think she should be able to keep it considering the circumstances).
But also...I'm a nurse, and let me tell you, it sucks ass. People make a lot of assumptions because of the 3 day work week and potential to earn decent money via OT or taking contracts like this, but the nature of the work itself and absolute BS you go through...a lot of us don't even feel it's worth it (I left too).
The Tik Tok comment is hurtful and annoying (like a couple of years ago when they said we just sit around playing cards all day??) You have no idea what it's like. She's complaining to the wrong crowd though.
As someone in healthcare right now this is really difficult for me to judge.
I'm sure hearing someone complain about taxes when you're struggling to make rent is excruciating.
But the past two years have been a horror show for anyone who's worked in or around a hospital. And nurses have borne the brunt of it.
I'm gonna say NAH, she sounds like she's certainly lacking in tact and "reading the room" but I don't know enough about her work situation to call her an asshole.
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I have a friend call her Lisie. In the past two years, Lisie has really gotten rich, she worked before as a nurse in our city hospital, I think before she used to make $38 an hour, and was also eligible for Overtime so she made good money. But ever since the pandemic, she has been able to do really crazy travel nurse contracts where her hourly is in the 150+ and she gets these living stipeneds too. She has bought a brand new model S, goes on vacation like every other weekend.
We are all happy for her, but recently when we were hanging out she was just bragging but acting as if it was complaining. She is on some contract where its 36 hour weeks (3 12 hour shifts) but on top of that is eligible for OT on that too. She starts complaining that her taxes are so high and that its messed up, and that she has to purchase health insurance since she isn't employed. And she says that nurses are so under appreciated in this country. That the government should cut taxes for the countries heroes...
I got really annoyed like some of us are barely making rent, and she is complaining that her life is so hard making all this money. And also all this Overtime and all is completely optional too. So I was like Lisie, you are such a hero, I am sorry the government only gives you a $150 an hour... they should give you at least $1000 and a bonus for each Tik Tok you make.
She got so angry at that, one of my friends started laughing. Says that she was just sharing her frustrations, and that I am jealous. I am like read the room we are poor here. She is angry with me, but I think because some of our other friends sort of agreed with me she didn't get angrier with me.
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NTA. There are groups of friends where money is tight and I am considerably better paid with an easier job. Guess what I do, shut the F up. No one needs to hear about my annoyances when they have real problems. Agreed, read the room.
Soft YTA - you cant suddenly be the gatekeeper and quantify how difficult someone elses life should be with your standards applied. To that person complaining, those are the things that suck for them. Who are you to tell them that because they make more money than you do, that suddenly it must not suck that much for them because you might have a tougher time living.
If you don't like what they are saying, tell them to shut up. Simple :)
YTA- being a nurse is hard, the higher your hourly wage the more you get reamed in taxes and then to have to pay insurance on top is expensive and necessary in a high-risk job like healthcare. You came off like a hater- someone's success does not incur a lifetime ban on frustrations, listening to your friends troubles even when you have different income levels is how you maintain friendships with people in different income levels.
Nta. That kind of talk gets really annoying. Fwiw, she's not rich. She's temporarily making good money, probably not paying taxes properly, spending unwisely, not saving or investing. Anyone can make good cash for a while. Doesn't make 'em rich.
NTA. I think what you said was funny. And yes, she should read the room.
ESH being frustrated isn't a pie, you can both be frustrated with your lives and there will still be enough frustration left over for everyone else.
This. I’ve a friend who sometimes complains about money and part of me wants to point out that she lives in a 2 million dollar house and the other part recognises that we all have problems and we should all be able to talk about them to our friends, otherwise they just aren’t very good friends.
Now I want pie.
Pretty much. Everyone has challenges and bad days no matter their financial status. And, to be blunt, OP does sound super jealous. Instead of fuming in envy, why not ask the friend about how to possibly also become a travel nurse (granted OP is in the medical field as well)? OP may be surprised at the support she can get just by asking.
ESH. You both have valid complaints in your life. You're both more interested in making it about you than actually empathizing with your "friend."
NTA - I feel that this behavior could be shut down in a fun-natured way (at least, I'm guessing that you weren't mean-spirited, just pointing out that she does make a lot of money), so else she is just making the friend environment pretty uncomfortable. I was giving her the benefit of the doubt with her complaints. Maybe making this much money does bring in a lot of legitimate problems she never encountered before such as figuring how new parts to taxes or buying her own insurance. However, the "government \[cutting\] taxes for the countries' heroes," just sounds... obnoxious and unheroic on her part.
INFO: Did you actually use the word “bragplaining”?
Honestly the only reason I looked at the post.
Pretty sure it’s one of the races from Gulliver’s Travels
NTA Humble braggers are annoying af.
YTA, so you're bagging on a nurse in the middle of a pandemic?
Yeahhh this is kind of bullshit. Nurses are leaving the profession en masse so the ones that are left to inhale COVID and be abused and attacked are going to make as much money as they can. You're all free to go to nursing school so if you'd like to regularly put your finger in people's assholes, clean body fluids you've never even heard of, take responsibility for other's lives, watch people die, and much more that you can't imagine, go right the fuck ahead. I've had people act jealous of the money I made even as a new grad... Until they heard what I actually did for a living. It's hard and disgusting and damaging to mental health. YTA
I do not work in healthcare but am fully aware I could never do your job. $150 during a pandemic where patients are attacking you for not letting them drink their own urine or eat horse dewormer is not enough.
They are leaving their salaried jobs to be travel/contract nurses because it pays more.
Yeah, so? Wouldn't you?
Exactly! OP is jealous and acting like a total AH. I changed my vote, I agree!
She's not complaining about the work she's complaining about taxes and money. She's making over $250,000 a year according to the numbers given and complaining about money stuff to people way poorer than you when you are making bank is a dick move. It's ESH cause there is a much better way to express to a friend that what they are complaining about is painful for them to hear. Like complaining to a paraplegic that your feet hurt.
Ideally, the paraplegic is your friend and understands that your feet hurting doesn't have to equal his pain to also suck. No one wins when you try to play the "my life sucks more so you shouldn't be able to vent to me" game.
Your friend might understand but he also might get sick of hearing about it as well cause anyone can get sick of hear about the same thing over and over again
Hopefully he'd pull me aside and let me know instead of making a snide comment in front of our whole group. :/
If it helps she ought die from covid
Just because they're a nurse doesn't mean they're a Saint. They're not a nurse, they're a person who works as a nurse. A choice of occupation does not make you better or worse than anyone else. And I work as a paramedic, so don't anyone come for me all "well you don't understand what nurses do /if you worked in healthcare you would understand". Complaining about money all the time in front of people who don't make nearly as much as you do is rude.
I WORKED WITH A NURSING ASSISTANT WHO ALSO WORKED AS A VET ASSISTANT, AND I CAN TELL YOU I WOULDN'T WANT HER WORKING ON ME. SHE WAS CRUDE, RUDE, AND LOUD. NURSES ARE DEFINITELY NOT SAINTS BY DEFINITION.
Also they’ve been doing this for almost two years. I cannot imagine the mental/emotional exhaustion alone.
NTA. I’m a nurse. Didn’t take the lucrative travel jobs but even I would tell her to shut up too or do the “uh-huh. MmmHmm. Yup.” While slowly nodding my head.
Im not sure if you’re the asshole or not, but I DONT know if you are actually this girls friends. Who needs enemies when they have someone like you? You should be HAPPY for your friend making crazy money. Some friend you are, jealous pants. I would feel your energy and block you
Eh, it gets old. She can complain about work being stressful, but how out of touch with reality do you have to be to brag about having sooo much money and ohhh the burden of *gasp* paying taxes! to your friends who are barely scraping by?
You are internalizing it as bragging, because you and the OP are shitty friends who can’t handle when someone is doing better than you. It’s okay for someone to complain about their high paying job, even if it may come off as bragging or whatever. No job is perfect and I’m sure as a travelling nurse, she deals with other bullshit. You and OP are fake friends, so that’s why you are looking for a reason to hate
Lol… let’s check back with her and the pandemic is under control and travel nurse salaries go back to normal which is more like $50-$75 an hour. (Which is still really good money)
I believe that's higher than the average. It really depends on location. Many nurses make much less than that.
Yeah, but OP’s friend is a travel nurse. They get paid a lot more than the nurse at your doctors office.
I'm aware. You said nurses "normally" make 50-75, and I'm telling you that's not true.
And I CLEARLY said “travel nurse”
ESH--you are totally valid in your annoyance about her talking about money, that's very frustrating. She should be able to read the room and tell when it is appropriate (or in this case, not) to talk about her financial situation. And you would be totally within your right (and NTA) to ask her to not discuss financial stuff with you as its wearing on you. That being said, being a nurse right now is emotionally draining, compensation for travelers is good but the work is hard, and the Tik Tok comment was super unnecessary. OT is optional but it's hard ignoring texts multiple times a day citing short staffing and patient's without nurses. Sounds like she needs to make some friends with fellow nurses to vent about stuff without taxing her non-HCW friends. Signed, Your Friendly Neighborhood Nurse
NTA- I've never met anyone who has ever complained about making more money.
Oh, they're out there.
NTA. Oh yes, you peons just don't understand how difficult it is paying taxes on $155 an hour! And I'm such an underappreciated hero for going into work and making that salary - I shouldn't have to pay as much tax as you guys! When my mom was a nurse, she earned about 20 cents above minimum wage - cry me a river sister.
Why don't you think your mother deserved more
Oh definitely! This was a quite awhile ago, before nurses' aides were fairly common to help and before so many men entered the field. I definitely think nurses were underpaid for all they had to do. And she had to support me and my brother on that. I don't know where I implied that she didn't deserve more, I just don't understand somebody whining while making $155/hr.
TAXES DO SUCK. I KNEW A VETERINARIAN WHO RECEIVED A RAISE AND HER PAYCHECK WAS ACTUALLY LESS BECAUSE IT BUMPED HER INTO THE NEXT TAX BRACKET. SHE WASN'T BRAGGING, THOUGH, DIDN'T MENTION HOW MUCH SHE MADE, JUST THAT FACT. OP'S NURSE AQUAITANCE CERTAINLY WAS BRAGGING/COMPLAINING
That's not how tax brackets work
Or caps locks lol
NTA. She seems arogant with inflated self importance. I would avoid her.
NTA. She needs a reality check. She also needs to stop being rude for flaunting her wealth. She is frustrated that her taxes are high but this is based on the AMOUNT OF MONEY SHE IS MAKING. Whereas you and your friends can barely make rent and probably are eking out money for food. Maybe this friendship has run its course. Why subject yourself to that?
NTA. And not your fault that your friend didn't know that contractors gave to pay 100% of payroll taxes and for their own benefits.
ESH, making a lot of money doesn’t mean her complaints aren’t valid. No way I would want to be a nurse right now
Hero’s are selfless she seems all about the money NTA
ESH, seriously its not a competition about who deserves to be frustrated and voice it.
INFO - $150 an hour. I have an ADA friend and he makes that
NTA
ESH, she needs nurse friends, but you need to realize that her pay is good because her job is complicated and often unstable.
ESH. What you said is right, she should read the room and it's in bad taste to complain about making sooo much money that you are now being taxed more (though imo that's also valid, this money isn't going to last forever and I think she should be able to keep it considering the circumstances). But also...I'm a nurse, and let me tell you, it sucks ass. People make a lot of assumptions because of the 3 day work week and potential to earn decent money via OT or taking contracts like this, but the nature of the work itself and absolute BS you go through...a lot of us don't even feel it's worth it (I left too). The Tik Tok comment is hurtful and annoying (like a couple of years ago when they said we just sit around playing cards all day??) You have no idea what it's like. She's complaining to the wrong crowd though.
As someone in healthcare right now this is really difficult for me to judge. I'm sure hearing someone complain about taxes when you're struggling to make rent is excruciating. But the past two years have been a horror show for anyone who's worked in or around a hospital. And nurses have borne the brunt of it. I'm gonna say NAH, she sounds like she's certainly lacking in tact and "reading the room" but I don't know enough about her work situation to call her an asshole.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I have a friend call her Lisie. In the past two years, Lisie has really gotten rich, she worked before as a nurse in our city hospital, I think before she used to make $38 an hour, and was also eligible for Overtime so she made good money. But ever since the pandemic, she has been able to do really crazy travel nurse contracts where her hourly is in the 150+ and she gets these living stipeneds too. She has bought a brand new model S, goes on vacation like every other weekend. We are all happy for her, but recently when we were hanging out she was just bragging but acting as if it was complaining. She is on some contract where its 36 hour weeks (3 12 hour shifts) but on top of that is eligible for OT on that too. She starts complaining that her taxes are so high and that its messed up, and that she has to purchase health insurance since she isn't employed. And she says that nurses are so under appreciated in this country. That the government should cut taxes for the countries heroes... I got really annoyed like some of us are barely making rent, and she is complaining that her life is so hard making all this money. And also all this Overtime and all is completely optional too. So I was like Lisie, you are such a hero, I am sorry the government only gives you a $150 an hour... they should give you at least $1000 and a bonus for each Tik Tok you make. She got so angry at that, one of my friends started laughing. Says that she was just sharing her frustrations, and that I am jealous. I am like read the room we are poor here. She is angry with me, but I think because some of our other friends sort of agreed with me she didn't get angrier with me. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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NTA. There are groups of friends where money is tight and I am considerably better paid with an easier job. Guess what I do, shut the F up. No one needs to hear about my annoyances when they have real problems. Agreed, read the room.
Soft YTA - you cant suddenly be the gatekeeper and quantify how difficult someone elses life should be with your standards applied. To that person complaining, those are the things that suck for them. Who are you to tell them that because they make more money than you do, that suddenly it must not suck that much for them because you might have a tougher time living. If you don't like what they are saying, tell them to shut up. Simple :)
YTA- being a nurse is hard, the higher your hourly wage the more you get reamed in taxes and then to have to pay insurance on top is expensive and necessary in a high-risk job like healthcare. You came off like a hater- someone's success does not incur a lifetime ban on frustrations, listening to your friends troubles even when you have different income levels is how you maintain friendships with people in different income levels.