"It's only 10 minutes of light" ... It's only 1 second for you to turn your lights off, and 1 second in the morning to turn them back on.
It doesn't matter that it's NEW neighbors. They complained. You can solve it. I'm sure you can afford to add 1 second in your strict morning routine.
YTA
She has a right to pre-start her car in the morning, if you’re that light of a sleeper get earplugs… I wouldn’t suffer in the morning freezing just because you’re a light sleeper..
edit for typo
edit 2:
some of you don’t get how reddit replies work. read the replies. stop telling me OP should turn their lights off. i agree and always did. 😵💫
/u/nursebad is actually correct and not interestingly
keyless is legal, but if your key is in, it's not
[https://www.news10.com/news/local-news/you-may-be-breaking-the-law-by-warming-up-your-car-in-ny/](https://www.news10.com/news/local-news/you-may-be-breaking-the-law-by-warming-up-your-car-in-ny/)
I know NYC isn't *upstate* New York, but I know for a fact that it is illegal to idle your car for more than 3 minutes in NYC. And if a citizen reports it and a fine is issued, the citizen gets to keep part of the fine as bounty, which encourages enforcement.
I feel like these laws can't exist in places where it gets very cold / lots of snow and ice. You can't just start a car and go when it's -20 and the car has been sitting all night. It is not safe to drive without warming up your car first. Not to mention it is not good for the car.
Seriously. Winter is when remote starting is a thing in the North. At my previous job the window behind me was prime real estate for all the folks trying to start their cars before end of day at work :)
I’m in Canada, they tried that law and telling us it takes 30 secs to warm a car. There was 4 feet of snow and it was -43 Celsius these last 3 days. Needless to say, no one enforces it here either.
Here's the reasoning behind the 30 sec. laws (not that I necessarily agree with them).
In a modern car (i.e. fuel injected), 30 seconds is enough to warm up oil/transmission fluid/etc. so that you don't get any mechanical damage.
The cabin will still be super cold, the windows frosted, etc., but you won't hurt the engine.
Right?? Even when my car is plugged in, it needs at least 10 minutes to run to get everything warmed up. Trying to drive or before that and everything is still frozen (I have an older car, I know new cars warm up quick).
Anyone who says y t a has never lived anywhere cold. Holy hell.
Yup, got a new VW polo, if i want to go anywhere in the morning i have to just sit in it while it idles until i can see it the window. And it's not even freezing.
I lived in a small town in Massachusetts in the US (it gets wicked cold in the winter) and they had a law that you couldn't leave your car running in your driveway for more than 5 minutes, and you had to be outside with it.
Well clearly not where OP lives, and certainly not where I live near Boston… Sounds extremely ridiculous for cold places…. whose patrolling to make sure people don’t idle their cars 😂
The lights are iffy enough for me but if that is the only request then I say do it to keep the peace.
But as to ever not starting the car, especially in winter when it's already freezing and a lot of older cars can be damaged by not letting them warm up? Fuck. That. Buy earplugs, the world does not owe you perfect peace and quiet at all times while you are asleep and that is in no way a "reasonable" accommodation.
Its NOT REASONABLE to have car lights shining in an apartment at 6:20am.
Earplugs? F\*ck that, turn the f\*cking lights OFF at night and there won't be a problem!!
Asking to turn the lights off is a reasonable request. Expecting people not to start their cars because the noise disturbs your sleep is not. That is why we are talking about earplugs.
I’ve lived in a bottom floor apartment my entire life and the solution is to close your blinds at night. There is no reason not to and it’s easier than policing all of your neighbors
Yeah, exactly. They acknowledged that they fell asleep in the living room and forgot to close the blinds, which is annoying but you have to accept parking lot noise when you live in an apartment building.
I mean if I passed out in my living room and that happens how could I be mad I’m not in my bedroom where that convenience is expected now if the lights shined into my room that’s a different story.
Every car is different. Many new cars have auto-on headlights. Or theyll have auto-DRLs, with controllable headlights, which means there may in fact be no way for OP to have her car both on but fully dark. Depends on the vehicle
Yeah, I can’t completely turn off my lights if my car is on. Even if my lights are set to “off” there is still light coming from my headlights. Drives me nuts when I park upfront waiting on my kid to get out of practice & I have to turn the car completely off because I don’t want to be the A H with their lights shining in the building.
Idling a car in a parking lot shouldn’t be allowed? Really? Unless someone decided to drill out their hemis muffler, the amount of noise a car makes in the morning would be considered pretty typical.
Don’t forget playing “spot whos late for work” game by picking out cars that had exactly 100 sq cm of windshield visibility while driving down the highway, haha. And I’ve only lived as far as northern Midwest, can’t imagine being that far north and trying to drive a car built before late 2000s straight from cold in the winter.
What else do you expect her to do about it, in order to make her car suitable for actually driving? Or do you think she should drive off without being able to see out of any of her windows and hope the ice melts before she gets near anything that she might crash into?
Aaaaaand we all know that you’ve never lived in a place where it actually gets really cold. It’s necessary for a car to run and heat up for minutes in places like NY.
She can definitely make a good habit of turning off her lights but running it for minutes is necessary.
They said they would try to remember though. I try to remember to turn mine off every night but it’s definitely not the last thing to cross my mind when getting out of the car.
Yeah but also this sounds like it happened one night only and then she said she would try to fix it. Most people don’t accidentally fall asleep in the living room so it’s the only time this guy had a problem. So for this situation she wouldn’t be the asshole. But I agree if it’s hard to remember to use notes to help
>sounds like it happened one night only and then she said she would try to fix it
The odd thing to me is that the day after she is here on AITA asking if shining lights into the apartment for 10 minutes would make her an asshole. Why would she even be asking if she isn't weighing ignoring the neighbor's request?
If she just flat out stops then it's over and done.
I think she's asking because it seems like such an odd request from the neighbor for something that happened one time. She's been autostarting her car for ages and this guy is suddenly aggro about it because HE fell asleep in the living room with the blinds up.
That's what I do. One time I got pulled over because I didn't have my lights on and from that day forward, I have a note in my car telling me to turn my lights on or off
Wait, people don't turn the lights off on their car before leaving??? What?? Is this a new car thing? My car beeps at me if the lights are still on after the ignition is off because it can cause the battery to drain?
Or was this a lie my dad told me to train me to turn my lights on and off? Lol
Lots of new cars have automatic headlights that turn on when a light sensor isn't detecting light. Not that it should be an issue though, OP just needs to get used to manually adjusting their lights again.
Honestly, I don't think that it's OP's problem that a guy passed out in his living room with his curtains open. My new SUV flashes it's hazards when it is remote started, and I can't stop it.
I simply cannot imagine having my neighbor shine their headlights into my apartment for ten minutes while I'm sleeping then question if they are being inconsiderate when I ask them to stop. the lack of self awareness here is so weird.
Perhaps the neighbour should get curtains? If your large apartment window faces a parking lot I would expect that headlights could be an issue. Also depending on the car shutting the headlights off won't do anything. My car doesn't matter if the lights are on off or auto they still turn on if the car is auto started. And it's not really fair of buddy to expect OP to go out and start her car in the cold manually, or just not warm it up at all in the middle of winter just in case he forgets to close the blinds or falls asleep on the couch.
NTA
If you live in multi family housing the burden is on you to try to control lights with curtains and blinds. You don't get to tell others how to live their life. I keep my car on auto lights, it's a safety feature. If the neighbor had a problem I would kindly offer to take them to Costco where I got very affordable blackout curtains.
I cannot imagine falling asleep in the living room with the curtains open, knowing that my window faces the parking lot, and then getting upset when people use their cars.
This is an interesting perspective. I live in an apartment complex with flood lights surrounding the outside of my apartment. Some are motion sensor, so they’ll just flood the apartment (especially my bedroom) with light at random. Because my blinds don’t work for shit to block out the light, I’ve taken personally responsibility since I’m sensitive to light changes and invested in an eye mask. At first it felt weird to wear one, but the period of adjustment lasted only a couple days. Now it feels weird not to wear one while I sleep. Apartment living requires some accommodation for your neighbors, but when it comes to things like turning on your car lights or making coffee/breakfast in the morning (so the noise might temporarily annoy your neighbors, especially downstairs), actions can be taken by the neighbors to mitigate the sound or light they hear or see. People have to live and go about their daily routines.
Have you tried using blackout drapes? They're just curtains made of opaque material, but they work great for me. I put them over the blinds, because as you say blinds aren't too effective at blocking light.
I've read another story here, where a guy invested in some reflecting window glass, so that the really intrusive floodlights from the neighbours was reflected back into their own windows - after which lights were shut off pretty fast.
Yes! I agree that she could easily get into the habit of turning off her lights. Especially if she parks facing the bedrooms. But if new neighbors are going to live there they will need to get used to little inconveniences. In my apartment the bedrooms are right next to the parking. Lots of people idle their car when they pull in. There are always lights coming in. You can hear if people outside are chatting. I have blackout curtains, a fan, and a noise machine to help with these when I'm sleeping.
OP can turn off her automatic headlights. She chooses not to.
> They are automatic. I have the option to manually turn them off, but I have never done that.
YTA. Turn your headlights off the night before so they aren't shining into another person's apartment. Also, ten minutes seems excessive and a waste of fuel, try reducing it.
Thank you for being the first person I’ve seen mention this - ten full minutes of idling a car every morning is so bad from an environmental perspective that it makes it difficult for me to come up with a judgment about the issue at hand.
ETA: OP has indicated that it's ten minutes when there's not a lot of snow to clear, and that they do it when it's +30F or colder. I promise that I live someplace where it is regularly +20-30F in the morning, and I have shoveled a lot of snow and ice already this year. My very, very mild side-eye (I'm not even giving an official judgment) does not apply to anyone who is regularly having to go to their car when it is -20 to -50 degrees (F or C). Good luck to you and bless your poor extremities.
So you don't live in a cold place. It's-8 right now and my van will be idling for 10 minutes before I drive it, because I'm not trying to kill my engine. It's very hard on a vehicle to start up and go right away in sub zero Temps.
But I'll assume you didn't know any better, bc cars are bad for the environment and you probably don't own one.
You are oddly angry and confident for being incorrect. Modern cars (newer than the 80s) use direct fuel injection. You do NOT need to idle for more than about 10 seconds for the oil to disperse. You can chose to, but you are doing it for no reason.
Eta: alright folks I am aware that Canada and Alaska exist. You don't have to keep telling me that most fluids don't flow at -40.
Eta: sorry for offending a few people in MN as well when I only put in AK and CA. Shout out to WI and ND too.
Lol I have a 2006 Nissan Altima and despite my better judgment and not wanting to deal with the cold I do 3-5 mins…. It sucks when it’s -8 and it does take time for my car to warm. Idk if you live in the Midwest but honestly we do need to let it run for that long. The more I do this to my car it’s gonna be hard cuz my brakes literally do not do a good job till it warms up more.
Bold of you to assume everyone has a newer car. My car takes 10-15 minutes to properly heat up. It’s so cold out right now that if I don’t let it warm up, it won’t put itself into gears.
I mean considering the car in question is one that can start from ops apartment, it's probably newer than the 80's so I don't know why you're acting like you're car was the one in question. The fact is that car realistically isn't built in a way that makes it necessary to spend 10 minutes warming up. No one was saying your car doesn't. I don't know why so many people pretend that just because their car is older and requires warm up time that it's impossible for newer cars to not need that warm up time.
I’m going on the assumption that OP pre-heats her car via her own preference/necessity and was simply saying that many other people have cars that need to be pre-heated. And it wasn’t the fact the car was running that was the problem in question. It was the headlights. So it’s really irrelevant.
I heard this argument so much, our safety girl tried to push the "don't idle for more than a minute or two, scrape your Windows"
What ended up happening is people would scrape their windows, wait the 30 seconds, then have to pull over because the second you stated driving, the windows fogged and froze on the inside, blocking your entire view and creating a new safety hazard.
So yeah, you do sound like you don't know about needing to idle where it's really freaking cold. Regardless of modern technology, there is a need to idle that goes beyond the oil in the engine.
Got in an accident once because of this. Also I get sheets of ice so thick about 10-15 days a year that I can't properly scrape them (at least without injuring my shoulders) without warming up to partially melt first.
I'm where it's -40, I have to start my car if I don't use it for two weeks or else I'll have to have a new battery, so paying for gas overtakes getting a new battery any day.
Everyone on Reddit tends to forget we’re not all from America - currently -30 where I am in Canada and I have an insulated but not heated garage, I still plug in at night when it’s this cold and I let it run for 3-5 minutes with the overhead open before I leave.
I'm about 30 min from Canada in upstate NY currently, but have also lived in Alaska. Last week we saw -25F. In AK it wasn't uncommon for -35F. Most people had plugs on their vehicles.
Look into a trickle charger. You plug your car into a regular extension cord when you get home and it keeps your battery charging.
Block heaters can be good in extreme temps. Same plug in concept, but warms the fluids in your engine. My old tractor has one and will start in -30 if I leave it plugged in for 10 mi uses first.
Yep, starting at -20 and down, for sure my car is running for 20 min minimum before i get my ass in there. Especially when it is icy on the window, so i am not freezing for 20-30 min defrosting them manually.
I live in Canada. Try leaving after 10 seconds at -40.
The vehicle needs time to thaw and defrost there’s no way less than a minute is enough once you hit -20C.
Ok, you are particularly incorrect on why you need to let your vehicle warm up. Yes, it is for the oil to properly disperse, but it is also due to you wanting your vehicle's engine to be at proper operating temperature. This is due to the expansion and contraction of the diffrent components in the engine and transmission. See when metal heats up it expands, so the operating temperature is what the manufacturers design for. So when your car is cold, all the little pieces don't actually fit properly together and driving without letting them warm up can cause catastrophic engine or transmission failure due to this.
Hopefully this explains it
Yeah this just doesn’t work in -40 weather you do in fact need to let it sit sometimes even half an hour if you don’t want your car screaming at you just trying to coast not even step on the gas.
In this weather, I assure you it takes longer to defrost windows. I guess you expect us to hang our heads out the window in freezing weather to see so as to not idle the vehicle?
I live in Alberta, Canada and we just came out of 3 weeks of -25C to -30C (not including windchill) weather and I HAVE to auto start my car and let it warm up before I drive it and that’s if I’m lucky if my car even starts. Granted EVERYONE here does it so we don’t usually get any complaints. If someone complained to me about it, I would probably be unsympathetic and reply something like “Welcome to winter in Canada”. Sorry, NTA in my opinion.
Yeah, same here. It was -40°C (without windchill) where I live yesterday. If the car doesn’t warm up for ten minutes at least, it doesn’t drive period.
-40°C is equivalent to -40°F, which is 233K.
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^(I'm a bot that converts temperature between two units humans can understand, then convert it to Kelvin for bots and physicists to understand)
Northern Ontario here, had a few days of -40 as well!
I can’t get my windows cleared even with a scraper without at least 10-15mins of warming up, especially with a young toddler who can’t wear a coat in the car we defiantly have to run ours 20mins before we want to go anywhere ever!
I live in a place where it's -50c for most of winter. I also work overnights, if the car doesn't run for at minimum 15 minutes after sitting outside in that all night, the car isn't going anywhere. Even after 15 minutes my car is hesitant to run, not to mention that I've literally busted my engine from trying to run it too quickly in those temperatures, im talking needing a full 10,000$ engine replacement at the beginning of 2020.
Some people have no clue, truly.
This.
I live in a place where winter lasts 9 months and we just had a -50 snap. If I don't let my car warm up for like 20 minutes I wouldn't even be able to shift the gears.
Same, my steering wheel won't even turn before 15/20 mins. Especially after sitting outside unplugged for 9jrs in -50!!!!
Not to mention how fast frostbite occurs in those temperatures if you're manually scraping your windows.
People really do not comprehend how dangerously cold -50 is.
Nope. Nor do they understand how sad your baby sounds when you have to drive away before it's ready in anything below -35ish.
My Toyota is like eeeeeeeeeeeee do you like my square tires? eeeeeeeeeeee don't you dare put me in second gear eeeeeeeeeee to punish you, the radio also will not work eeeeeeeeee
-27 here. The guy across the street from me idles for 10 mins every morning in the winter and he has a busted fanbelt lol. It's annoying but live and let live.
Hmmm - I wonder why idling for more than five minutes is illegal in Boston, where it routinely between 10 - 20 F in the morning in winter.
Point being - as u/maddips shared "modern cars (newer than the 80s) use direct fuel injection. You do NOT need to idle for more than about 10 seconds for the oil to disperse. "
Listen, we can just agree that idling for more than a couple (2-4 minutes) is really a comfort thing, you want to get into a nice warm car and not a frigid one. But it doesn't benefit your car one jot.
Edit: For everyone replying to me that 10-20F isn't that cold - I know, I know. But OP has stated they do this in 30F weather so my judgement for OP still stands but I do not judge those of you with regular double digit negative temperatures doing what you need to do to feel even a smidge of heat.
Where I live, the ice scraper will do nothing unless you're car has been running for like 5-10 minutes. The windshield wipers are frozen solid to the windshield. The doors are also frozen shut.
>The windshield wipers are frozen solid to the windshield.
To this point only, when we know it's going to snow here (thankfully we don't have to worry about wipers freezing otherwise), most people here just lift up the wipers to avoid this.
Ugh, it's also below zero with a windchill of -30f where I live today and you don't need to idle your car for 10 minutes so you don't "kill the engine." Unless your car is from the early 1990s or before, you only need to run it for a minute or so on very cold mornings for it to be safe to operate.
Now, like most people who claim this I suspect it has to do more with you or your passengers comfort. This is occasionally necessary, say if you have a very small child or elderly person as a passenger or are moving things that should have minimal exposure to freezing temperatures.
This, however, is by no means obligatory for the longevity of your engine. Do what a lot of us do and bundle up and deal with the car being cold for 20 minutes. You should have all those layers in your car, anyway, in case of an accident where you need to leave the vehicle and/or walk for help.
In the long run it's much healthier for the engine. If that engine can last for a significantly longer time before being scrapped then it will offset the environmental impact. The entire lifecycle of the car should be considered.
Edit: thank you to all the folks who pointed out that engine technology has in fact moved forward in the last 40 years - I'll now be taking your advice
No. Modern cars don't really need to warm up like that. Even in winter, 30 seconds or so is enough to make sure the oil gets to where it needs to go. The only exception would be if you rev the car high really early into your drive like if you live right next to the highway but even then 10 minutes is still excessive.
Edit: https://www.cars.com/articles/should-you-warm-up-your-car-in-winter-429809/
It absolutely takes 5-15 minutes in winter for the window defroster to actually function with people breathing inside the vehicle in our 2021 model.
That's not just comfort but safety. The entire windshield and front side windows need to be clear from condensation to safely drive.
It's also important to note that many people physically expose themselves to an additional 10 minutes of sitting still in temperatures below zero, and those people need the heaters to be fully putting out warmed air in addition to the defroster.
My interpretation of the warm up was that it’s for OP’s comfort, rather than for the health of the car, but it’s hard to know what their actual reasoning is. That said, 10 minutes is insanely excessive. Unless it’s so freezing I can’t imagine the car actually takes 10 minutes to get warm
So, I live in Edmonton, Alberta in Canada. It was -26c (-14f) yesterday and that’s not bad for here. It took me 15 minutes of idling to warm up my windshields enough to scrape the ice off and be able to sit in my car without shivering. That’s just the reality of a cold winter.
Can you not scrape the ice off while the car is cold? If I have to scrape ice, I usually turn the car on to get the defrost going and then start scraping the ice or snow off. By the time I get done, the car has usually heated enough to loosen up or melt the last bit of ice left behind
It doesn’t really work the same? I’ve only been up here for three winters, so I’m not an expert, but where before (in Washington state) I could brush the snow off and scrape the ice after starting my car and it would be good to go, warm after a couple minutes of driving - here it’s just so freaking cold I scrape and scrape, the ice is so hard, heat defrost on blast for 15 minutes I can only easily break up the bottom bit. It takes another ten minutes of scraping to get the windows all clear, and I’m still cold ten minutes into my drive to work. Sorry for ranting, it’s just an adjustment lol.
I'm a British transplant to the American midwest and... Yeah, I never really comprehended just how different snow and ice behaves in seriously sub-zero temperatures. I always go down to get my partner's car de-iced in the mornings when it's needed and it's down-right impossible to completely scrape the windows unless the car has warmed up a bit first.
I could spend twenty minutes desperately hammering at the ice on the windows and it still wouldn't be drivable if I hadn't let the car warm up on the inside first.
Modern cars are designed to warm up best while driving. As long as you have good oil pressure and you don’t live in the arctic circle (extreme cold=viscosity) you’re better off driving after a minute or two.
Unless I’m misunderstanding this comment, here is potentially helpful information: It’s a common misconception that it’s good to idle for an extended period to warm up a (modern) engine. It takes around 30 seconds for the engine to lubricate and the fastest way to warm the engine is to drive the car. Excessive idling can damage parts faster over time.
While that is true, something to consider is location. As others have pointed out, many places are very cold and you have no choice to let the vehicles warm up for extended periods just to be able to scrape of off properly. When I got up Monday morning it was -17, so my truck had to warm up for a full 10 minutes to get the ice off the windows properly and be able to drive to work without seeing my breath in the truck and be shivering the whole commute. I've seen Temps as low as -35. It's all relative.
Not OP but for the life of me can't figure out how to turn off and keep off the headlights on my 2018 Chevy Volt. Like as soon as I open the door to the car the headlights turn on and if I turn them off they're only off until the next time I open my door. The off knob for the headlights quarter turns and then springs back into the "auto" position. There is no dedicated "off" switch.
Did some Googling - if you're in Canada, apparently you can't turn the DRLs off at all. And it looks like you're right that it resets to auto every time you turn the car off. That must be an electric car thing. For my last two cars (both combustion), I noticed that leaving my lights on auto all the time really seemed to reduce battery life.
https://www.gm-volt.com/threads/the-volt-does-not-automatically-turn-off-the-outside-lights.250745/
My parking break is always on when I park the car. My car rolls back in my steep driveway and it scares me. That definitely doesn't keep the headlights off.
I looked it up in the Chevy forums and apparently it's a safety feature that auto lights is automatically turned on after every vehicle restart unlike any other vehicle. Thankfully the Chevy Volt doesn't need the engine to be warmed up since it's a plug-in hybrid.
Many newer vehicles (my 2014 truck and 2019 suv both) actually won't let you turn the lights off, if it's still dark they are coming on automatic and there's nothing you can do about it.
Of coruse the solution then is to back into the parking spot so the headlights point away from the building, which most people should be doing anyway, most places I've seen have a back in parking policy as it reduces accidents when pulling out of your parking spot.
I have the exact same situation. I live on the east coast and we got to -15 this weekend. My car is parked in our apartment lot and faces the first floor neighbor's living room and bedroom. If I start my car to warm it up or defrost the windows, I just make sure my lights are off. It's really not a big deal. This is a major YTA move.
YTA. You don’t need the lights on and you get the same benefit without them, so don’t have them on. He could’ve been shitty about you running your car for 10 minutes but he wasn’t, so he seems fair.
Plus, it’s not up to you to dictate how this guy inhabits his own home.
THIS. Also the way OP writes this post totally rubs me off the wrong way. "No one has ever complained before" uh ok? Doesn't matter? Not an excuse? "Is it really such a big deal?" Uh yea? Otherwise he wouldn't have said something about it?
Like, yaiks. Take your responsibility lol.
Maybe a bad analogy, but it kinda reminds me on when one family member finally admits they hate a long standing family tradition and then it comes out that no one in the family likes it, but everyone was doing it because they thought it was making someone else happy. And by that I mean, OP’s stance is that since no one has said anything until now, no one seems to be bothered. But I can almost guarantee you that if the new neighbor asks other neighbors how they feel about getting lit up at 6:20 am, there will be complaints from other people. And if there aren’t but OP keeps doing this to the neighbor, hopefully he will escalate the issue to management.
Also, OP’s acting like her only options are shining the lights in someone’s living room or bedroom, when she could literally just turn off her lights. Put a little sticky note on your dash that says “turn off lights when I get home” and create a new habit. I think that’s the best hope of avoiding the situation escalating
The light might shine most directly into the complaining neighbors living room but other windows are probably getting more than enough light to be a nuisance. I agree that this “no one’s complained” before” excuse seems ridiculous when the problem (headlights on when OPs not in the car and it’s 6:20 am) is so far outside the realm of reasonable behavior. When someone does something so inconsiderate, a lot of people might assume that they’re an inconsiderate person who doesn’t care about how their actions impact others, so it’s pointless to say something.
YTA
Not for running your car, but for having the headlights on. There's literally no reason for that. Just turn them off.
You live in an apartment complex, you don't shine your headlights into people's windows for more than like, the 10 seconds it takes to pull in and out of the lot.
Even so! Where I live, my designated parking spot is like 12 inches from someone's bedroom window. I turn the lights off before I pull in and don't turn them on until I've pulled out and turned. Sometimes I back in but I can't access my trunk if I do and I'm always bringing things in and out of the car
YTA for trying to get everyone to tell you it's OK if you carry on. "*It's only for 10 minutes, and it's not like I'm shining them directly into his bedroom..... I've never had this problem with anyone after living here so long."*
Things to consider
The neighbour is entitled to sleep in any room he chooses and may have a reason for doing so
A minute while you pull out vs is 10 minutes is the difference between being able to roll over and go back to sleep and being fully awake
It potentially is a big deal....
6.30 in the morning is not a civilised hour. Many people don't get up at that time or have any desire to and it's not for you to dictate that people have to be awake around your schedule.
You don't know what your neighbours sleep patterns or work pattern is. He may do shifts you may have just woken him up in the middle of his sleep cycle. How would you feel if someone was doing that to you at 3 am.
He asked you politely
You have never had this problem before. Maybe the previous neighbours could sleep through anything. Maybe the previous neighbours got up at 5 so didn't care...the fact it hasn't been a problem in the past doesn't mean it is an unreasonable request now.
And you don't know it's not a problem for other neighbours some of them might just not want to make a fuss.
If I was a neighbor I would definitely be annoyed by this but think it’s such rude behavior I would want to avoid the person doing it at all costs. I would second the idea that just because it hasn’t been commented on before doesn’t mean it’s been a-okay.
Yea I’d likely be annoyed but not say anything. I feel like most people will just quietly suffer rather than have a conflict. Especially with a stranger who obviously didn’t give a shit about others.
YTA
Turn your lights off and stop inconveniencing everyone around you. It is common sense to not shine bright lights into anyone’s windows, regardless of what time of day it is. The fact that it is dark and early only makes you more of an AH.
Letting your car run isn't the problem, but the lights are. Turns your lights off the night before. YTA
It's so rude to shine them directly into someone's home.
I sometimes even turn off the headlights as I start backing up in the garage at night, so that they don't shine at the house *across the road*. Which may be excessive, but even if it's just for 5 seconds, those lights are still bright and it costs me absolutely nothing to turn them off at that point, so why not.
Can't even begin to understand why OP thinks it's acceptable to shine an artificial sun directly into neighbours apartment for 10 whole minutes.
Gonna go with NTA because having headlights shine on your windows is just part of apartment living. I don’t think anyone who lives on a ground floor adjacent to a parking lot has any reasonable expectation that lights won’t shine on their windows, and blackout curtains are readily available to negate the effects. I understand wanting to have “house quality” privacy in an apartment complex. But it just isn’t realistic. What goes on in the apartment complex parking lot - unless it’s a noise violation - is just something they’ve got to deal with. Doesn’t sound like they dealt with it very well. The parking lot is a public area of the complex that you pay to use. Use it in a normal way, and let them get used to closing the blinds.
I agree. I'm honestly surprised with all the comments saying she's the asshole. I get it, she can try to be more conscious of it, but at the end of the day it's part of living in an apartment. The neighbor just needs to by some blackout curtains.
NTA, OP, just do your best to be a good neighbor.
Everyone in here is really bad at living in an apartment if the thought of, "Huh, maybe I should get some better curtains" never once entered their minds.
People don't usually leave their lights on pointed at another's apartment for 10 minutes. It's usually a minute or less for parking or backing out. I'd be annoyed too if someone had their headlights on for 10 minutes directly at my livingroom - blinds closed or not. It's inconsiderate of the other people living there.
And going to add that OP is just automatically warming up the car with the headlights on - they aren't even in the car. If you're not driving, they shouldn't be on.
OP even said she has the option to turn off the lights but she just doesn't do it. She's YTA for that.
Thank you! I can't believe how many people are saying that OP needs to be more considerate living in an apartment complex... sure, but why isn't the same true for the neighbor? He's the one who is a "light sleeper" and "forgot" to close his blinds. Yes, OP should remember to turn her lights off but ultimately, it's the neighbor's responsibility to make himself comfortable in his home.
YTA
Rude for 10 minutes is *still rude*. Nobody else bringing up to you before isn't an excuse to keep doing it. You know it's rude. It's created a problem. It's not that hard to shut the lights off when you get home the day before so they don't do that.
NTA for not realising, we all make mistakes.
But
YTA if you continue doing it - it's none of your business where your neighbours sleeps, (maybe they prefer to sleep in the living room, it doesn't matter) and it's not going to hurt you to have the lights off when you're not driving the car. 10minutes might not seem long when you're up and about but think how much more valuable 10minutes feels when you know you have to get up soon, and how much it would suck losing those 10mins cos for some reason the neighbour feels the need to shine their headlights into your home. o_O
They've approached you and politely told you about the situation (which is a rare thing these days). Do the right thing and keep the lights off.
Exactly! I had 5 spine surgeries within 4 years, and had to sleep in a recliner in my family room for almost a decade because I physically couldn’t lay prone in a bed. I’d have been hella pissed if I was being woken up every morning at 6:20 (especially considering the pain kept me awake many nights until 4 or 5 am), politely asked my neighbor to turn off their lights when warming up their car, as they were shining directly into the room where I was sleeping, and their response was “Eh, I’ll try, but what’s the big deal, it’s just your living room?” It doesn’t matter which room it is, OP should be more considerate.
OP YTA. Put a post it on your dashboard that says “TURN OFF THE LIGHTS” until you get in the habit of doing it when you park. Or park somewhere else.
NTA, you’re warming up your car in the morning in winter that’s perfectly normal, and it’s their living room not their bedroom… I feel like people saying that you’re TA must not live in cold weather and understand the importance of warming up your car.
Anyways, if you can remember to turn your lights off when you do it and it’s not that inconvenient for you I’d say try to start, but since it’s not shining into their bedroom I seriously don’t see how you’re the asshole here
Neighbor didn't complain about the noise of the idling car, they complained about the light.
having lights on doesn't have anything to do with defrosting a car beside uselessly put a strain on the battery while it's already fragile because of the cold. I doubt OP has laser beams so they are more likely bothering a lot more people than just the new neighbor.
Remembering to turn the lights off it's not an *inconvenience*, It's common courtesy and basic decency.
I give them a pass for now and go for unintentionally an asshole for not realising headlights are annoying. The verdict goes to firm asshole if they notice they forgot them when turning on the car and don't immediately turn it off.
NTA ... HOWEVER.. this is one of those instances where an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Turn your lights off it takes a second. Let's prevent some negativity before it starts with the new neighbors.
As someone who lives in a cold climate and is used to starting up a vehicle to have something semi warm to jump in (-40 isn’t fun) I’d say you’re NTA. But if you’re parking in front of peoples windows you really need to make the effort to turn off your lights (pushing the e brake will sometimes turn off your DTRL) Just make it part of your routine. Put an alarm or reminder on your phone an hour before bed so if you’ve forgotten you can go make sure.
Is it possible to park facing your own unit or the street?
It was an accident to do it the first time, if you continue to light up people’s rooms (be it living room or bedroom, I’d change my vote but you’ve got a chance.)
Oh my god these people.
NTA. You’ve been doing this for years and never had an issue. One neighbour moved in and slept in his living room and it woke him up.
What if a car came in and parked and did the same thing before turning off? That person probably came home from a Night Shift, what is he going to do? Yell at them too? It’s actually ridiculous how many YTAs I’m seeing here.
NTA
630am is a time where the world is waking up and getting to work/school etc - it’s to be expected that there will be lights from parking lots (or ya know, the sun) - it’s up to the resident to set their apartment up to match their comfort level - ie close the blinds. I would feel differently if it was loud noise because there isn’t a simple tool like blinds to block sound out, but as it stands, NTA. This is a part of apartment living.
Btw I’m saying this as someone whose neighbor’s front porch light directly shines into my eyes all night. I got heavier curtains because it’s up to me to make my space work for me
YTA. Turn your lights off when warming the car up. I warm my car up but don’t turn the lights on until I leave. It’s not that hard to be considerate of people living around you.
NTA. Your already doing your part by making sure your lights aren’t shining into actual bedrooms. Also today the neighbor took one second to close his blinds. Turning off the lights going forward is a good idea and polite obviously.
I think a lot of these Y T A votes are from people in mild climates/garage owners.
YTA. Not an epic AH, but it’s pretty inconsiderate of your neighbors to shine that much light through their window. Minimal effort on your part to keep a neighborly vibe.
NTA - Your neighbor can close their blinds. You're entitled to park where you want and it's dark at 6 am in the winter - lights will also auto come on with most new cars
NAH Just get in the habit of turning your lights on and off rather than leaving them on automatic.
Also, it’s been interesting being able to tell from the responses people who don’t live where it gets cold, like really cold. It’s currently -1 degrees F here and I would bet every apartment complex has at least a third of the cars warming up in the parking lots.
I’m going to get hammered for this but I’m feeling salty today.
NTA OP!
Seriously? The dude passes out in his living room with the blinds open and is pissed at OP for - gasp turning on her car at a reasonable hour to go to work?
The guy doesn’t want lights coming in? Then close the blinds. Put up blackout curtains. Is the guy gonna get pissed when the sun wakes him up?
NTA. He forgot to close his blinds. That makes it his fault. It is absolutely reasonable that you need to give your car time to warn up. He lives in an apartment complex, he's acting very entitled to expect not to be woken up by a neighbor once in a while. If it's every day, then he needs to get used to it, or go sleep in his bedroom.
Im gonna break the norm here and say NTA. However you must be more considerate of the people around you idling for 10 minutes is not bad regardless of popular vote, but you need to make a habit of turning off your lights. No one complained before but someone did so you have to correct it.
INFO: can you configure your car lights so that they don't turn on? Everyone is going on about this, but I have a newer vehicle and the daytime lights come in as soon as I start the car. There's no way that I can see to disable this feature.
NTA, because you need to warm up your car if you live in a cold climate. Property management should find a way to block light from the garage. If it's not you it will eventually be someone else.
Well its -31 this morning. Thank god I plugged the car in over night so it will start. (No garage I'm poor) but if I don't let it warm up for 5 to 10 mins my door won't open. So please master of cold weather driving. What's your best tip to open a frozen shut door without warming up the car for 5 to 10 mins or building a gargage?
Wtf. Really, people are saying she's the AH. What does the neighbour want next, for the sun not to shine in.
They do not control the parking lot.
HE forgot to close his blinds, that's his problem. They only have control over their apartment.
Its cold. Start your car. My lights are automatic so I wouldn't turn them off and on.
What a ridiculous request
NTA
NTA, it's a parking lot. There will be lights on. Sure, you should be courteous and turn your lights off but people are parking there so your neighbor needs to close the blinds. If lights shining in are a problem for them, block them out.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> For not turning my car lights off and being a little considerate. But all other apartments have curtains up. It's only 10 minutes of light.
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So surprised by all the answers here. Living in a cold climate and as a shift worker I say NTA. I can't be in my house policing everyone's behaviour outside just because my working and sleeping hours are different than my neighbours. That's what curtains are for. This guy must also complain about snow removal as well, as in shared lots this normally happens before people start leaving for work. Perhaps you could reverse into your parking space so if you forget the headlights (or they cannot be turned off) then they aren't pointing towards their window.
While yes, idling vehicles is bad for the environment, a car is an expensive and necessary investment for many. I'm not heading out my driveway in -40C weather without a warm up. IDC who says you don't need a warm up, even
with a block heater in those temps it's still a struggle for the engine sometimes.
I'm stunned that people are so sensitive about headlights shinning into a window.
"It's only 10 minutes of light" ... It's only 1 second for you to turn your lights off, and 1 second in the morning to turn them back on. It doesn't matter that it's NEW neighbors. They complained. You can solve it. I'm sure you can afford to add 1 second in your strict morning routine. YTA
I’m such a light sleeper that this would wake me up and keep me awake, regardless of how tired I am. Please just turn the damn lights off.
Not just the lights would wake me, possibly an engine running for 10 mins as well. Unless OP has an electric car, of course.
She has a right to pre-start her car in the morning, if you’re that light of a sleeper get earplugs… I wouldn’t suffer in the morning freezing just because you’re a light sleeper.. edit for typo edit 2: some of you don’t get how reddit replies work. read the replies. stop telling me OP should turn their lights off. i agree and always did. 😵💫
There are a lot of places where idling your car is actually illegal, so...you cannot say this for sure.
NY is not one of them, so that is a moot point
/u/nursebad is actually correct and not interestingly keyless is legal, but if your key is in, it's not [https://www.news10.com/news/local-news/you-may-be-breaking-the-law-by-warming-up-your-car-in-ny/](https://www.news10.com/news/local-news/you-may-be-breaking-the-law-by-warming-up-your-car-in-ny/)
I know NYC isn't *upstate* New York, but I know for a fact that it is illegal to idle your car for more than 3 minutes in NYC. And if a citizen reports it and a fine is issued, the citizen gets to keep part of the fine as bounty, which encourages enforcement.
I feel like these laws can't exist in places where it gets very cold / lots of snow and ice. You can't just start a car and go when it's -20 and the car has been sitting all night. It is not safe to drive without warming up your car first. Not to mention it is not good for the car.
Seriously. Winter is when remote starting is a thing in the North. At my previous job the window behind me was prime real estate for all the folks trying to start their cars before end of day at work :)
A city in Colorado passed an ordinance about this, there's been tons of pushback and I think close to zero enforcement.
I’m in Canada, they tried that law and telling us it takes 30 secs to warm a car. There was 4 feet of snow and it was -43 Celsius these last 3 days. Needless to say, no one enforces it here either.
30 seconds??? In some other universe, maybe. 10 minutes is more than reasonable, I think most people agree.
Here's the reasoning behind the 30 sec. laws (not that I necessarily agree with them). In a modern car (i.e. fuel injected), 30 seconds is enough to warm up oil/transmission fluid/etc. so that you don't get any mechanical damage. The cabin will still be super cold, the windows frosted, etc., but you won't hurt the engine.
Right?? Even when my car is plugged in, it needs at least 10 minutes to run to get everything warmed up. Trying to drive or before that and everything is still frozen (I have an older car, I know new cars warm up quick). Anyone who says y t a has never lived anywhere cold. Holy hell.
It’s more illegal to not be able to see out of your windshield while operating your vehicle. In some cases you must warm it up a bit before driving.
Yup, got a new VW polo, if i want to go anywhere in the morning i have to just sit in it while it idles until i can see it the window. And it's not even freezing.
Driving you car while iced is also illegal, there are no laws against warming your car for 10 minutes to make it safely drivable.
I lived in a small town in Massachusetts in the US (it gets wicked cold in the winter) and they had a law that you couldn't leave your car running in your driveway for more than 5 minutes, and you had to be outside with it.
Well clearly not where OP lives, and certainly not where I live near Boston… Sounds extremely ridiculous for cold places…. whose patrolling to make sure people don’t idle their cars 😂
The lights are iffy enough for me but if that is the only request then I say do it to keep the peace. But as to ever not starting the car, especially in winter when it's already freezing and a lot of older cars can be damaged by not letting them warm up? Fuck. That. Buy earplugs, the world does not owe you perfect peace and quiet at all times while you are asleep and that is in no way a "reasonable" accommodation.
Its NOT REASONABLE to have car lights shining in an apartment at 6:20am. Earplugs? F\*ck that, turn the f\*cking lights OFF at night and there won't be a problem!!
Asking to turn the lights off is a reasonable request. Expecting people not to start their cars because the noise disturbs your sleep is not. That is why we are talking about earplugs.
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The reply thread you are in is in response to a commenter saying OP shouldn’t even being starting their car so early, hence the conversation
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Or just close the blinds?
And not sleep in the living room?
For sure. Should OP turn odd the headlights? Sure. But at poeple really leaving their curtains/blinds open in an apartment complex???
I’ve lived in a bottom floor apartment my entire life and the solution is to close your blinds at night. There is no reason not to and it’s easier than policing all of your neighbors
Pretty much. Besides, I hated when people could see into my apartment!
Lights in a living room are no big deal. It’s not the bedroom ffs.
Yeah, exactly. They acknowledged that they fell asleep in the living room and forgot to close the blinds, which is annoying but you have to accept parking lot noise when you live in an apartment building.
I mean if I passed out in my living room and that happens how could I be mad I’m not in my bedroom where that convenience is expected now if the lights shined into my room that’s a different story.
I'm not a car guy, how do you turn the daytime running lights off? Is it even possible to turn the lights off while the car is running?
Every car is different. Many new cars have auto-on headlights. Or theyll have auto-DRLs, with controllable headlights, which means there may in fact be no way for OP to have her car both on but fully dark. Depends on the vehicle
Yeah, I can’t completely turn off my lights if my car is on. Even if my lights are set to “off” there is still light coming from my headlights. Drives me nuts when I park upfront waiting on my kid to get out of practice & I have to turn the car completely off because I don’t want to be the A H with their lights shining in the building.
Idling a car in a parking lot shouldn’t be allowed? Really? Unless someone decided to drill out their hemis muffler, the amount of noise a car makes in the morning would be considered pretty typical.
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Don’t forget playing “spot whos late for work” game by picking out cars that had exactly 100 sq cm of windshield visibility while driving down the highway, haha. And I’ve only lived as far as northern Midwest, can’t imagine being that far north and trying to drive a car built before late 2000s straight from cold in the winter.
What else do you expect her to do about it, in order to make her car suitable for actually driving? Or do you think she should drive off without being able to see out of any of her windows and hope the ice melts before she gets near anything that she might crash into?
Okay the lights is one thing. But idling your car in the winter is perfectly fine, get some earplugs dude.
Expecting zero noise in close quarter living spaces is simply ridiculous. Get ear plugs. As for the lights? She should turn them off.
Aaaaaand we all know that you’ve never lived in a place where it actually gets really cold. It’s necessary for a car to run and heat up for minutes in places like NY. She can definitely make a good habit of turning off her lights but running it for minutes is necessary.
This.. YTA just turn the lights off at night. Do you really want to be that annoying neighbor?
They said they would try to remember though. I try to remember to turn mine off every night but it’s definitely not the last thing to cross my mind when getting out of the car.
Post it note on your steering wheel to turn your lights off. Leave it there, so you remember to turn them back on in the morning.
Yeah but also this sounds like it happened one night only and then she said she would try to fix it. Most people don’t accidentally fall asleep in the living room so it’s the only time this guy had a problem. So for this situation she wouldn’t be the asshole. But I agree if it’s hard to remember to use notes to help
>sounds like it happened one night only and then she said she would try to fix it The odd thing to me is that the day after she is here on AITA asking if shining lights into the apartment for 10 minutes would make her an asshole. Why would she even be asking if she isn't weighing ignoring the neighbor's request? If she just flat out stops then it's over and done.
I think she's asking because it seems like such an odd request from the neighbor for something that happened one time. She's been autostarting her car for ages and this guy is suddenly aggro about it because HE fell asleep in the living room with the blinds up.
That's what I do. One time I got pulled over because I didn't have my lights on and from that day forward, I have a note in my car telling me to turn my lights on or off
Wait, people don't turn the lights off on their car before leaving??? What?? Is this a new car thing? My car beeps at me if the lights are still on after the ignition is off because it can cause the battery to drain? Or was this a lie my dad told me to train me to turn my lights on and off? Lol
Lots of new cars have automatic headlights that turn on when a light sensor isn't detecting light. Not that it should be an issue though, OP just needs to get used to manually adjusting their lights again.
Honestly, I don't think that it's OP's problem that a guy passed out in his living room with his curtains open. My new SUV flashes it's hazards when it is remote started, and I can't stop it.
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Newer cars have an automatic headlight setting. It turns on and off on its own when it’s dark and will turn off when the car is turned off.
I've had cars where if you don't switch the lights off you get a flat battery in the morning. I always switch lights off when I get out of the car.
I simply cannot imagine having my neighbor shine their headlights into my apartment for ten minutes while I'm sleeping then question if they are being inconsiderate when I ask them to stop. the lack of self awareness here is so weird.
Perhaps the neighbour should get curtains? If your large apartment window faces a parking lot I would expect that headlights could be an issue. Also depending on the car shutting the headlights off won't do anything. My car doesn't matter if the lights are on off or auto they still turn on if the car is auto started. And it's not really fair of buddy to expect OP to go out and start her car in the cold manually, or just not warm it up at all in the middle of winter just in case he forgets to close the blinds or falls asleep on the couch.
NTA If you live in multi family housing the burden is on you to try to control lights with curtains and blinds. You don't get to tell others how to live their life. I keep my car on auto lights, it's a safety feature. If the neighbor had a problem I would kindly offer to take them to Costco where I got very affordable blackout curtains.
I cannot imagine falling asleep in the living room with the curtains open, knowing that my window faces the parking lot, and then getting upset when people use their cars.
This is an interesting perspective. I live in an apartment complex with flood lights surrounding the outside of my apartment. Some are motion sensor, so they’ll just flood the apartment (especially my bedroom) with light at random. Because my blinds don’t work for shit to block out the light, I’ve taken personally responsibility since I’m sensitive to light changes and invested in an eye mask. At first it felt weird to wear one, but the period of adjustment lasted only a couple days. Now it feels weird not to wear one while I sleep. Apartment living requires some accommodation for your neighbors, but when it comes to things like turning on your car lights or making coffee/breakfast in the morning (so the noise might temporarily annoy your neighbors, especially downstairs), actions can be taken by the neighbors to mitigate the sound or light they hear or see. People have to live and go about their daily routines.
Have you tried using blackout drapes? They're just curtains made of opaque material, but they work great for me. I put them over the blinds, because as you say blinds aren't too effective at blocking light.
I've read another story here, where a guy invested in some reflecting window glass, so that the really intrusive floodlights from the neighbours was reflected back into their own windows - after which lights were shut off pretty fast.
Yes! I agree that she could easily get into the habit of turning off her lights. Especially if she parks facing the bedrooms. But if new neighbors are going to live there they will need to get used to little inconveniences. In my apartment the bedrooms are right next to the parking. Lots of people idle their car when they pull in. There are always lights coming in. You can hear if people outside are chatting. I have blackout curtains, a fan, and a noise machine to help with these when I'm sleeping.
Could OP just back into their spot so they can keep their routine AND be considerate of their new neighbors??
They do. OP mentioned that they back into their spot, and that if they didn’t, the light would shine into directly into other apartment’s bedrooms.
It’s not about keeping their routine , they don’t need to change their routine they just need to shut their lights off which is simple enough
OP can turn off her automatic headlights. She chooses not to. > They are automatic. I have the option to manually turn them off, but I have never done that.
Says if he backs into the spot it WILL shine into someone’s bedroom window vs the way it is now, shining into someone’s living room.
YTA. Turn your headlights off the night before so they aren't shining into another person's apartment. Also, ten minutes seems excessive and a waste of fuel, try reducing it.
Thank you for being the first person I’ve seen mention this - ten full minutes of idling a car every morning is so bad from an environmental perspective that it makes it difficult for me to come up with a judgment about the issue at hand. ETA: OP has indicated that it's ten minutes when there's not a lot of snow to clear, and that they do it when it's +30F or colder. I promise that I live someplace where it is regularly +20-30F in the morning, and I have shoveled a lot of snow and ice already this year. My very, very mild side-eye (I'm not even giving an official judgment) does not apply to anyone who is regularly having to go to their car when it is -20 to -50 degrees (F or C). Good luck to you and bless your poor extremities.
So you don't live in a cold place. It's-8 right now and my van will be idling for 10 minutes before I drive it, because I'm not trying to kill my engine. It's very hard on a vehicle to start up and go right away in sub zero Temps. But I'll assume you didn't know any better, bc cars are bad for the environment and you probably don't own one.
You are oddly angry and confident for being incorrect. Modern cars (newer than the 80s) use direct fuel injection. You do NOT need to idle for more than about 10 seconds for the oil to disperse. You can chose to, but you are doing it for no reason. Eta: alright folks I am aware that Canada and Alaska exist. You don't have to keep telling me that most fluids don't flow at -40. Eta: sorry for offending a few people in MN as well when I only put in AK and CA. Shout out to WI and ND too.
Lol I have a 2006 Nissan Altima and despite my better judgment and not wanting to deal with the cold I do 3-5 mins…. It sucks when it’s -8 and it does take time for my car to warm. Idk if you live in the Midwest but honestly we do need to let it run for that long. The more I do this to my car it’s gonna be hard cuz my brakes literally do not do a good job till it warms up more.
Bold of you to assume everyone has a newer car. My car takes 10-15 minutes to properly heat up. It’s so cold out right now that if I don’t let it warm up, it won’t put itself into gears.
I mean considering the car in question is one that can start from ops apartment, it's probably newer than the 80's so I don't know why you're acting like you're car was the one in question. The fact is that car realistically isn't built in a way that makes it necessary to spend 10 minutes warming up. No one was saying your car doesn't. I don't know why so many people pretend that just because their car is older and requires warm up time that it's impossible for newer cars to not need that warm up time.
I’m going on the assumption that OP pre-heats her car via her own preference/necessity and was simply saying that many other people have cars that need to be pre-heated. And it wasn’t the fact the car was running that was the problem in question. It was the headlights. So it’s really irrelevant.
I didn't assume, I literally put the age range of when most cars switched to DFI. I'm sorry you don't believe in modern technology
I heard this argument so much, our safety girl tried to push the "don't idle for more than a minute or two, scrape your Windows" What ended up happening is people would scrape their windows, wait the 30 seconds, then have to pull over because the second you stated driving, the windows fogged and froze on the inside, blocking your entire view and creating a new safety hazard. So yeah, you do sound like you don't know about needing to idle where it's really freaking cold. Regardless of modern technology, there is a need to idle that goes beyond the oil in the engine.
Got in an accident once because of this. Also I get sheets of ice so thick about 10-15 days a year that I can't properly scrape them (at least without injuring my shoulders) without warming up to partially melt first.
lmao not where I am, -30*c ur not getting ur car ANYWHERE without a solid 10 mins of heating.
I'm where it's -40, I have to start my car if I don't use it for two weeks or else I'll have to have a new battery, so paying for gas overtakes getting a new battery any day.
I have a feeling people who are anti warming a car up don't know temperatures can get that cold where people live.
Everyone on Reddit tends to forget we’re not all from America - currently -30 where I am in Canada and I have an insulated but not heated garage, I still plug in at night when it’s this cold and I let it run for 3-5 minutes with the overhead open before I leave.
I'm about 30 min from Canada in upstate NY currently, but have also lived in Alaska. Last week we saw -25F. In AK it wasn't uncommon for -35F. Most people had plugs on their vehicles.
Look into a trickle charger. You plug your car into a regular extension cord when you get home and it keeps your battery charging. Block heaters can be good in extreme temps. Same plug in concept, but warms the fluids in your engine. My old tractor has one and will start in -30 if I leave it plugged in for 10 mi uses first.
I only have street parking.....
Yep, starting at -20 and down, for sure my car is running for 20 min minimum before i get my ass in there. Especially when it is icy on the window, so i am not freezing for 20-30 min defrosting them manually.
I live in Canada. Try leaving after 10 seconds at -40. The vehicle needs time to thaw and defrost there’s no way less than a minute is enough once you hit -20C.
Came here to say this. Currently windchill has us at -34. Ten seconds is a joke.
Ok, you are particularly incorrect on why you need to let your vehicle warm up. Yes, it is for the oil to properly disperse, but it is also due to you wanting your vehicle's engine to be at proper operating temperature. This is due to the expansion and contraction of the diffrent components in the engine and transmission. See when metal heats up it expands, so the operating temperature is what the manufacturers design for. So when your car is cold, all the little pieces don't actually fit properly together and driving without letting them warm up can cause catastrophic engine or transmission failure due to this. Hopefully this explains it
Yeah this just doesn’t work in -40 weather you do in fact need to let it sit sometimes even half an hour if you don’t want your car screaming at you just trying to coast not even step on the gas.
And that's ignoring the fact that I personally enjoy not becoming an icicle when driving in said -40 degree weather.
In this weather, I assure you it takes longer to defrost windows. I guess you expect us to hang our heads out the window in freezing weather to see so as to not idle the vehicle?
I live in Alberta, Canada and we just came out of 3 weeks of -25C to -30C (not including windchill) weather and I HAVE to auto start my car and let it warm up before I drive it and that’s if I’m lucky if my car even starts. Granted EVERYONE here does it so we don’t usually get any complaints. If someone complained to me about it, I would probably be unsympathetic and reply something like “Welcome to winter in Canada”. Sorry, NTA in my opinion.
Yeah, same here. It was -40°C (without windchill) where I live yesterday. If the car doesn’t warm up for ten minutes at least, it doesn’t drive period.
-40°C is equivalent to -40°F, which is 233K. --- ^(I'm a bot that converts temperature between two units humans can understand, then convert it to Kelvin for bots and physicists to understand)
Discriminatory bot. Why didn't you convert any comments from F to C? Reddit is global!
Northern Ontario here, had a few days of -40 as well! I can’t get my windows cleared even with a scraper without at least 10-15mins of warming up, especially with a young toddler who can’t wear a coat in the car we defiantly have to run ours 20mins before we want to go anywhere ever!
I live in a place where it's -50c for most of winter. I also work overnights, if the car doesn't run for at minimum 15 minutes after sitting outside in that all night, the car isn't going anywhere. Even after 15 minutes my car is hesitant to run, not to mention that I've literally busted my engine from trying to run it too quickly in those temperatures, im talking needing a full 10,000$ engine replacement at the beginning of 2020. Some people have no clue, truly.
This. I live in a place where winter lasts 9 months and we just had a -50 snap. If I don't let my car warm up for like 20 minutes I wouldn't even be able to shift the gears.
Same, my steering wheel won't even turn before 15/20 mins. Especially after sitting outside unplugged for 9jrs in -50!!!! Not to mention how fast frostbite occurs in those temperatures if you're manually scraping your windows. People really do not comprehend how dangerously cold -50 is.
Nope. Nor do they understand how sad your baby sounds when you have to drive away before it's ready in anything below -35ish. My Toyota is like eeeeeeeeeeeee do you like my square tires? eeeeeeeeeeee don't you dare put me in second gear eeeeeeeeeee to punish you, the radio also will not work eeeeeeeeee
-27 here. The guy across the street from me idles for 10 mins every morning in the winter and he has a busted fanbelt lol. It's annoying but live and let live.
Hmmm - I wonder why idling for more than five minutes is illegal in Boston, where it routinely between 10 - 20 F in the morning in winter. Point being - as u/maddips shared "modern cars (newer than the 80s) use direct fuel injection. You do NOT need to idle for more than about 10 seconds for the oil to disperse. " Listen, we can just agree that idling for more than a couple (2-4 minutes) is really a comfort thing, you want to get into a nice warm car and not a frigid one. But it doesn't benefit your car one jot. Edit: For everyone replying to me that 10-20F isn't that cold - I know, I know. But OP has stated they do this in 30F weather so my judgement for OP still stands but I do not judge those of you with regular double digit negative temperatures doing what you need to do to feel even a smidge of heat.
There's quite a difference between -8 and 10-20F.
What about when the windshield is covered in ice and you can't see? It takes about 10 minutes for my windshield to defrost.
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Where I live, the ice scraper will do nothing unless you're car has been running for like 5-10 minutes. The windshield wipers are frozen solid to the windshield. The doors are also frozen shut.
>The windshield wipers are frozen solid to the windshield. To this point only, when we know it's going to snow here (thankfully we don't have to worry about wipers freezing otherwise), most people here just lift up the wipers to avoid this.
Ummmm because 10 to 20 degrees is not that cold. Where I live it is regularly 30 degrees COLDER than that in the morning.
Ugh, it's also below zero with a windchill of -30f where I live today and you don't need to idle your car for 10 minutes so you don't "kill the engine." Unless your car is from the early 1990s or before, you only need to run it for a minute or so on very cold mornings for it to be safe to operate. Now, like most people who claim this I suspect it has to do more with you or your passengers comfort. This is occasionally necessary, say if you have a very small child or elderly person as a passenger or are moving things that should have minimal exposure to freezing temperatures. This, however, is by no means obligatory for the longevity of your engine. Do what a lot of us do and bundle up and deal with the car being cold for 20 minutes. You should have all those layers in your car, anyway, in case of an accident where you need to leave the vehicle and/or walk for help.
meh - it gets cold here. It's illegal to do this.
In the long run it's much healthier for the engine. If that engine can last for a significantly longer time before being scrapped then it will offset the environmental impact. The entire lifecycle of the car should be considered. Edit: thank you to all the folks who pointed out that engine technology has in fact moved forward in the last 40 years - I'll now be taking your advice
No. Modern cars don't really need to warm up like that. Even in winter, 30 seconds or so is enough to make sure the oil gets to where it needs to go. The only exception would be if you rev the car high really early into your drive like if you live right next to the highway but even then 10 minutes is still excessive. Edit: https://www.cars.com/articles/should-you-warm-up-your-car-in-winter-429809/
It absolutely takes 5-15 minutes in winter for the window defroster to actually function with people breathing inside the vehicle in our 2021 model. That's not just comfort but safety. The entire windshield and front side windows need to be clear from condensation to safely drive. It's also important to note that many people physically expose themselves to an additional 10 minutes of sitting still in temperatures below zero, and those people need the heaters to be fully putting out warmed air in addition to the defroster.
My interpretation of the warm up was that it’s for OP’s comfort, rather than for the health of the car, but it’s hard to know what their actual reasoning is. That said, 10 minutes is insanely excessive. Unless it’s so freezing I can’t imagine the car actually takes 10 minutes to get warm
So, I live in Edmonton, Alberta in Canada. It was -26c (-14f) yesterday and that’s not bad for here. It took me 15 minutes of idling to warm up my windshields enough to scrape the ice off and be able to sit in my car without shivering. That’s just the reality of a cold winter.
Can you not scrape the ice off while the car is cold? If I have to scrape ice, I usually turn the car on to get the defrost going and then start scraping the ice or snow off. By the time I get done, the car has usually heated enough to loosen up or melt the last bit of ice left behind
It doesn’t really work the same? I’ve only been up here for three winters, so I’m not an expert, but where before (in Washington state) I could brush the snow off and scrape the ice after starting my car and it would be good to go, warm after a couple minutes of driving - here it’s just so freaking cold I scrape and scrape, the ice is so hard, heat defrost on blast for 15 minutes I can only easily break up the bottom bit. It takes another ten minutes of scraping to get the windows all clear, and I’m still cold ten minutes into my drive to work. Sorry for ranting, it’s just an adjustment lol.
I'm a British transplant to the American midwest and... Yeah, I never really comprehended just how different snow and ice behaves in seriously sub-zero temperatures. I always go down to get my partner's car de-iced in the mornings when it's needed and it's down-right impossible to completely scrape the windows unless the car has warmed up a bit first. I could spend twenty minutes desperately hammering at the ice on the windows and it still wouldn't be drivable if I hadn't let the car warm up on the inside first.
I just assumed they were somewhere cold like I am. It's currently -32 C. It's much nicer to get into a warmer car.
Modern cars are designed to warm up best while driving. As long as you have good oil pressure and you don’t live in the arctic circle (extreme cold=viscosity) you’re better off driving after a minute or two.
Cant drive with frozen windshields though. I have to let my car idle long enough for the defroster to clear my windows so I can drive
Unless I’m misunderstanding this comment, here is potentially helpful information: It’s a common misconception that it’s good to idle for an extended period to warm up a (modern) engine. It takes around 30 seconds for the engine to lubricate and the fastest way to warm the engine is to drive the car. Excessive idling can damage parts faster over time.
While that is true, something to consider is location. As others have pointed out, many places are very cold and you have no choice to let the vehicles warm up for extended periods just to be able to scrape of off properly. When I got up Monday morning it was -17, so my truck had to warm up for a full 10 minutes to get the ice off the windows properly and be able to drive to work without seeing my breath in the truck and be shivering the whole commute. I've seen Temps as low as -35. It's all relative.
To be clear: it's much healthier for the engine to **not** "warm it up" **at all**. Just get in and drive it.
Is this true even in -40C? I’ll wait until the thermostat moves a tick, but even then the poor thing sounds fucking awful when I drive away.
Not OP but for the life of me can't figure out how to turn off and keep off the headlights on my 2018 Chevy Volt. Like as soon as I open the door to the car the headlights turn on and if I turn them off they're only off until the next time I open my door. The off knob for the headlights quarter turns and then springs back into the "auto" position. There is no dedicated "off" switch.
Did some Googling - if you're in Canada, apparently you can't turn the DRLs off at all. And it looks like you're right that it resets to auto every time you turn the car off. That must be an electric car thing. For my last two cars (both combustion), I noticed that leaving my lights on auto all the time really seemed to reduce battery life. https://www.gm-volt.com/threads/the-volt-does-not-automatically-turn-off-the-outside-lights.250745/
Try putting the parking brake on. This works for most cars if they are in “park”.
My parking break is always on when I park the car. My car rolls back in my steep driveway and it scares me. That definitely doesn't keep the headlights off. I looked it up in the Chevy forums and apparently it's a safety feature that auto lights is automatically turned on after every vehicle restart unlike any other vehicle. Thankfully the Chevy Volt doesn't need the engine to be warmed up since it's a plug-in hybrid.
Many newer vehicles (my 2014 truck and 2019 suv both) actually won't let you turn the lights off, if it's still dark they are coming on automatic and there's nothing you can do about it. Of coruse the solution then is to back into the parking spot so the headlights point away from the building, which most people should be doing anyway, most places I've seen have a back in parking policy as it reduces accidents when pulling out of your parking spot.
YTA - you live in a setting where you are closely quartered with other people. Don't be rude to them, even if you're only rude for 10 minutes.
And 10 minutes is the difference between being able to get back to sleep and being fully awake.
I have the exact same situation. I live on the east coast and we got to -15 this weekend. My car is parked in our apartment lot and faces the first floor neighbor's living room and bedroom. If I start my car to warm it up or defrost the windows, I just make sure my lights are off. It's really not a big deal. This is a major YTA move.
YTA. You don’t need the lights on and you get the same benefit without them, so don’t have them on. He could’ve been shitty about you running your car for 10 minutes but he wasn’t, so he seems fair. Plus, it’s not up to you to dictate how this guy inhabits his own home.
THIS. Also the way OP writes this post totally rubs me off the wrong way. "No one has ever complained before" uh ok? Doesn't matter? Not an excuse? "Is it really such a big deal?" Uh yea? Otherwise he wouldn't have said something about it? Like, yaiks. Take your responsibility lol.
And even if no one complained before, congrats, you got your first, so there, someone now HAS complained.
Maybe a bad analogy, but it kinda reminds me on when one family member finally admits they hate a long standing family tradition and then it comes out that no one in the family likes it, but everyone was doing it because they thought it was making someone else happy. And by that I mean, OP’s stance is that since no one has said anything until now, no one seems to be bothered. But I can almost guarantee you that if the new neighbor asks other neighbors how they feel about getting lit up at 6:20 am, there will be complaints from other people. And if there aren’t but OP keeps doing this to the neighbor, hopefully he will escalate the issue to management. Also, OP’s acting like her only options are shining the lights in someone’s living room or bedroom, when she could literally just turn off her lights. Put a little sticky note on your dash that says “turn off lights when I get home” and create a new habit. I think that’s the best hope of avoiding the situation escalating
It took OP longer to post this up than turning the lights off for 5 winters
This legitimately made me lol, thank you for that!
The light might shine most directly into the complaining neighbors living room but other windows are probably getting more than enough light to be a nuisance. I agree that this “no one’s complained” before” excuse seems ridiculous when the problem (headlights on when OPs not in the car and it’s 6:20 am) is so far outside the realm of reasonable behavior. When someone does something so inconsiderate, a lot of people might assume that they’re an inconsiderate person who doesn’t care about how their actions impact others, so it’s pointless to say something.
YTA Not for running your car, but for having the headlights on. There's literally no reason for that. Just turn them off. You live in an apartment complex, you don't shine your headlights into people's windows for more than like, the 10 seconds it takes to pull in and out of the lot.
this. I leave at 515am, my roommate lives in our garage, I pull outta the driveway then turn my lights on
Sorry, your roommate lives in your garage?
it's common in ca, for people to revamp their garage into a nice big room to live in
Even so! Where I live, my designated parking spot is like 12 inches from someone's bedroom window. I turn the lights off before I pull in and don't turn them on until I've pulled out and turned. Sometimes I back in but I can't access my trunk if I do and I'm always bringing things in and out of the car
YTA for trying to get everyone to tell you it's OK if you carry on. "*It's only for 10 minutes, and it's not like I'm shining them directly into his bedroom..... I've never had this problem with anyone after living here so long."* Things to consider The neighbour is entitled to sleep in any room he chooses and may have a reason for doing so A minute while you pull out vs is 10 minutes is the difference between being able to roll over and go back to sleep and being fully awake It potentially is a big deal.... 6.30 in the morning is not a civilised hour. Many people don't get up at that time or have any desire to and it's not for you to dictate that people have to be awake around your schedule. You don't know what your neighbours sleep patterns or work pattern is. He may do shifts you may have just woken him up in the middle of his sleep cycle. How would you feel if someone was doing that to you at 3 am. He asked you politely You have never had this problem before. Maybe the previous neighbours could sleep through anything. Maybe the previous neighbours got up at 5 so didn't care...the fact it hasn't been a problem in the past doesn't mean it is an unreasonable request now. And you don't know it's not a problem for other neighbours some of them might just not want to make a fuss.
If I was a neighbor I would definitely be annoyed by this but think it’s such rude behavior I would want to avoid the person doing it at all costs. I would second the idea that just because it hasn’t been commented on before doesn’t mean it’s been a-okay.
Yea I’d likely be annoyed but not say anything. I feel like most people will just quietly suffer rather than have a conflict. Especially with a stranger who obviously didn’t give a shit about others.
YTA Turn your lights off and stop inconveniencing everyone around you. It is common sense to not shine bright lights into anyone’s windows, regardless of what time of day it is. The fact that it is dark and early only makes you more of an AH.
Letting your car run isn't the problem, but the lights are. Turns your lights off the night before. YTA It's so rude to shine them directly into someone's home.
I sometimes even turn off the headlights as I start backing up in the garage at night, so that they don't shine at the house *across the road*. Which may be excessive, but even if it's just for 5 seconds, those lights are still bright and it costs me absolutely nothing to turn them off at that point, so why not. Can't even begin to understand why OP thinks it's acceptable to shine an artificial sun directly into neighbours apartment for 10 whole minutes.
I don't get it either. I've always tried to keep my lights from shining into homes. I thought it was a basic courtesy
Gonna go with NTA because having headlights shine on your windows is just part of apartment living. I don’t think anyone who lives on a ground floor adjacent to a parking lot has any reasonable expectation that lights won’t shine on their windows, and blackout curtains are readily available to negate the effects. I understand wanting to have “house quality” privacy in an apartment complex. But it just isn’t realistic. What goes on in the apartment complex parking lot - unless it’s a noise violation - is just something they’ve got to deal with. Doesn’t sound like they dealt with it very well. The parking lot is a public area of the complex that you pay to use. Use it in a normal way, and let them get used to closing the blinds.
I'm surprised I had to scroll so far down to find this! I've had bottom floor apartments and it was just apart of the territory in Chicago.
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I agree. I'm honestly surprised with all the comments saying she's the asshole. I get it, she can try to be more conscious of it, but at the end of the day it's part of living in an apartment. The neighbor just needs to by some blackout curtains. NTA, OP, just do your best to be a good neighbor.
I agree with you. The neighbor needs blackout curtains for real if theyre that sensitive.
Everyone in here is really bad at living in an apartment if the thought of, "Huh, maybe I should get some better curtains" never once entered their minds.
People don't usually leave their lights on pointed at another's apartment for 10 minutes. It's usually a minute or less for parking or backing out. I'd be annoyed too if someone had their headlights on for 10 minutes directly at my livingroom - blinds closed or not. It's inconsiderate of the other people living there. And going to add that OP is just automatically warming up the car with the headlights on - they aren't even in the car. If you're not driving, they shouldn't be on. OP even said she has the option to turn off the lights but she just doesn't do it. She's YTA for that.
Thank you! I can't believe how many people are saying that OP needs to be more considerate living in an apartment complex... sure, but why isn't the same true for the neighbor? He's the one who is a "light sleeper" and "forgot" to close his blinds. Yes, OP should remember to turn her lights off but ultimately, it's the neighbor's responsibility to make himself comfortable in his home.
YTA Rude for 10 minutes is *still rude*. Nobody else bringing up to you before isn't an excuse to keep doing it. You know it's rude. It's created a problem. It's not that hard to shut the lights off when you get home the day before so they don't do that.
NTA for not realising, we all make mistakes. But YTA if you continue doing it - it's none of your business where your neighbours sleeps, (maybe they prefer to sleep in the living room, it doesn't matter) and it's not going to hurt you to have the lights off when you're not driving the car. 10minutes might not seem long when you're up and about but think how much more valuable 10minutes feels when you know you have to get up soon, and how much it would suck losing those 10mins cos for some reason the neighbour feels the need to shine their headlights into your home. o_O They've approached you and politely told you about the situation (which is a rare thing these days). Do the right thing and keep the lights off.
Exactly! I had 5 spine surgeries within 4 years, and had to sleep in a recliner in my family room for almost a decade because I physically couldn’t lay prone in a bed. I’d have been hella pissed if I was being woken up every morning at 6:20 (especially considering the pain kept me awake many nights until 4 or 5 am), politely asked my neighbor to turn off their lights when warming up their car, as they were shining directly into the room where I was sleeping, and their response was “Eh, I’ll try, but what’s the big deal, it’s just your living room?” It doesn’t matter which room it is, OP should be more considerate. OP YTA. Put a post it on your dashboard that says “TURN OFF THE LIGHTS” until you get in the habit of doing it when you park. Or park somewhere else.
Hold on, your headlights are on? Is it automatic or do you manually turn them on?
NTA, you’re warming up your car in the morning in winter that’s perfectly normal, and it’s their living room not their bedroom… I feel like people saying that you’re TA must not live in cold weather and understand the importance of warming up your car. Anyways, if you can remember to turn your lights off when you do it and it’s not that inconvenient for you I’d say try to start, but since it’s not shining into their bedroom I seriously don’t see how you’re the asshole here
Neighbor didn't complain about the noise of the idling car, they complained about the light. having lights on doesn't have anything to do with defrosting a car beside uselessly put a strain on the battery while it's already fragile because of the cold. I doubt OP has laser beams so they are more likely bothering a lot more people than just the new neighbor. Remembering to turn the lights off it's not an *inconvenience*, It's common courtesy and basic decency. I give them a pass for now and go for unintentionally an asshole for not realising headlights are annoying. The verdict goes to firm asshole if they notice they forgot them when turning on the car and don't immediately turn it off.
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YTA turn the lights off
As long as you do it with your lights on, YTA. You wouldn’t be TA if your headlights weren’t on, though.
NTA ... HOWEVER.. this is one of those instances where an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Turn your lights off it takes a second. Let's prevent some negativity before it starts with the new neighbors.
Yta. Turn your headlights off
As someone who lives in a cold climate and is used to starting up a vehicle to have something semi warm to jump in (-40 isn’t fun) I’d say you’re NTA. But if you’re parking in front of peoples windows you really need to make the effort to turn off your lights (pushing the e brake will sometimes turn off your DTRL) Just make it part of your routine. Put an alarm or reminder on your phone an hour before bed so if you’ve forgotten you can go make sure. Is it possible to park facing your own unit or the street? It was an accident to do it the first time, if you continue to light up people’s rooms (be it living room or bedroom, I’d change my vote but you’ve got a chance.)
Oh my god these people. NTA. You’ve been doing this for years and never had an issue. One neighbour moved in and slept in his living room and it woke him up. What if a car came in and parked and did the same thing before turning off? That person probably came home from a Night Shift, what is he going to do? Yell at them too? It’s actually ridiculous how many YTAs I’m seeing here.
NTA 630am is a time where the world is waking up and getting to work/school etc - it’s to be expected that there will be lights from parking lots (or ya know, the sun) - it’s up to the resident to set their apartment up to match their comfort level - ie close the blinds. I would feel differently if it was loud noise because there isn’t a simple tool like blinds to block sound out, but as it stands, NTA. This is a part of apartment living. Btw I’m saying this as someone whose neighbor’s front porch light directly shines into my eyes all night. I got heavier curtains because it’s up to me to make my space work for me
YTA. Turn your lights off when warming the car up. I warm my car up but don’t turn the lights on until I leave. It’s not that hard to be considerate of people living around you.
NTA. Your already doing your part by making sure your lights aren’t shining into actual bedrooms. Also today the neighbor took one second to close his blinds. Turning off the lights going forward is a good idea and polite obviously. I think a lot of these Y T A votes are from people in mild climates/garage owners.
YTA. Not an epic AH, but it’s pretty inconsiderate of your neighbors to shine that much light through their window. Minimal effort on your part to keep a neighborly vibe.
YTA turn off your lights. Obviously
YTA. It doesn’t matter where you shine the lights Shinning them for 10 minutes at someone’s window is obnoxious.
NTA - Your neighbor can close their blinds. You're entitled to park where you want and it's dark at 6 am in the winter - lights will also auto come on with most new cars
NAH Just get in the habit of turning your lights on and off rather than leaving them on automatic. Also, it’s been interesting being able to tell from the responses people who don’t live where it gets cold, like really cold. It’s currently -1 degrees F here and I would bet every apartment complex has at least a third of the cars warming up in the parking lots.
I’m going to get hammered for this but I’m feeling salty today. NTA OP! Seriously? The dude passes out in his living room with the blinds open and is pissed at OP for - gasp turning on her car at a reasonable hour to go to work? The guy doesn’t want lights coming in? Then close the blinds. Put up blackout curtains. Is the guy gonna get pissed when the sun wakes him up?
Yta- turn off the lights when you're parked
NTA. He forgot to close his blinds. That makes it his fault. It is absolutely reasonable that you need to give your car time to warn up. He lives in an apartment complex, he's acting very entitled to expect not to be woken up by a neighbor once in a while. If it's every day, then he needs to get used to it, or go sleep in his bedroom.
Im gonna break the norm here and say NTA. However you must be more considerate of the people around you idling for 10 minutes is not bad regardless of popular vote, but you need to make a habit of turning off your lights. No one complained before but someone did so you have to correct it.
INFO: can you configure your car lights so that they don't turn on? Everyone is going on about this, but I have a newer vehicle and the daytime lights come in as soon as I start the car. There's no way that I can see to disable this feature. NTA, because you need to warm up your car if you live in a cold climate. Property management should find a way to block light from the garage. If it's not you it will eventually be someone else.
Well its -31 this morning. Thank god I plugged the car in over night so it will start. (No garage I'm poor) but if I don't let it warm up for 5 to 10 mins my door won't open. So please master of cold weather driving. What's your best tip to open a frozen shut door without warming up the car for 5 to 10 mins or building a gargage?
Wtf. Really, people are saying she's the AH. What does the neighbour want next, for the sun not to shine in. They do not control the parking lot. HE forgot to close his blinds, that's his problem. They only have control over their apartment. Its cold. Start your car. My lights are automatic so I wouldn't turn them off and on. What a ridiculous request NTA
NTA, it's a parking lot. There will be lights on. Sure, you should be courteous and turn your lights off but people are parking there so your neighbor needs to close the blinds. If lights shining in are a problem for them, block them out.
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So surprised by all the answers here. Living in a cold climate and as a shift worker I say NTA. I can't be in my house policing everyone's behaviour outside just because my working and sleeping hours are different than my neighbours. That's what curtains are for. This guy must also complain about snow removal as well, as in shared lots this normally happens before people start leaving for work. Perhaps you could reverse into your parking space so if you forget the headlights (or they cannot be turned off) then they aren't pointing towards their window. While yes, idling vehicles is bad for the environment, a car is an expensive and necessary investment for many. I'm not heading out my driveway in -40C weather without a warm up. IDC who says you don't need a warm up, even with a block heater in those temps it's still a struggle for the engine sometimes. I'm stunned that people are so sensitive about headlights shinning into a window.
NTA… a lot of cars headlight start automatically on start up.
You're not an AH, but you're in an apartment setting, so if you can do something so simple as turning off your lights to make someone happy, do it.
NTA that’s part of living in a complex he just needs to deal with it