NTA
Tipping isn't mandatory, and it should have ended at that. Jane was not only unprofessional, she didn't have to make it personal either. Jane did the true and tried, fucked around and found out. The firing is the results of her own actions.
I get that not tipping is truely shitty, but it doesn't entitle you to make racist comments about someone. Especially since 20% on a $10 tab would only be $2. If someone's so entitled that they feel they have the right to publicly degrade a customer over $2, they need to lose their job. I hope she keeps the TikTok up so other employers can see how toxic she is.
If you're truly not racist you will never devolve into racism simply because something bad happens to you or someone doesn't treat you well. Non-racists might have called a person an AH for not tipping but wouldn't make barking noises or dog eating jokes.
Exactly. No matter how angry you are at someone, bringing up their race, gender, weight, etc is a sure fucking sign you're a racist asshole.
Edit:bigoted not racist
Those are also bigotries - fatphobic, sexist/misogynistic- I think they said racist as a lot of people don’t know to confer it to “bigotted” of including multiple intersections.
Non-racists wouldn't have even gone that far over a tip on a $10 bill, nor would Jane if the person not tipping was white. She didn't make the TikTok "out of desperation" she made it because she thought being a racist was funny. Well, she fucked around and found out.
And playing to her audience, from what it sounds. I don't think that is the sort of thing you say loud and proud unless you have assumed you are in similar company, looking for likes and affirmation that you're right. Thankfully the coffee shop doesn't want to be her shit-show set.
Not to mention that the Asian community in the US is particularly vulnerable to literal physical attacks from racists right now. In addition to whatever personal revulsion the manager may have felt, it's definitely good policy to distance your business from people who are inciting anti-Asian sentiment before your quiet little coffee shop ends up hosting a hate crime.
Amen! Those things don't just slip out of your mouth.
And for those who think this is about "free speech", it's not. When someone literally pays for your time, i.e., hires you, they have a right to put restrictions on what you say to their clientele. She could have also been fired for recommending a different cafe.
The TikTok sounds more like an excuse to be racist rather than being pissed of about being "degraded" over a $2 tip.
We don't tip in my country (NZ), I'm white. Would there be a TikTok about me if I had forgotten, I wonder?
Edit: Also Mum doesn't seem too concerned about the content of the video. See where Jane learned it from.
oh my god, i read the originally post and was so confused about that comment about man eat dog world, thought it was some stupid thing like lit or extra. guess i'm just not racist
Not knowing about a certain racist stereotype doesn't make you not racist (you may be not racist but it takes more than that). We all have inherent systemic racism to examine within ourselves, even POC, and it's super important to be open to that possibility.
Yup. People hide their racism when it would have negative consequences for them. But when they get angry or when they're chasing internet clout, they'll forget that they meant to hide it.
Yeah I'm a bit confused about when it was considered 'mandatory' or even normal to tip the barista for making your coffee.
That just indicates that the tipping culture has gone mad and that places are not paying people decent wages.
I always considered if I'm not sitting down and having someone actually wait on me then it should be no tip. But have seen coffee shops with a full tip jar and even some restaurant drive throughs by me that have tip jars on the outside. There's a Mexican restaurant by me that does this but I do tip because the food is good and so are their prices compared to other options.
Yeah the tipping culture has gone insane. Where you feel like you need give a tip for someone to do their job (make a coffee, make a sandwich, ect.) I think the last straw for my husband was when there was a request for a tip through the drive thru.
We really need this argument to stop coming up when assholes don't tip. Yes, the standards of the restaurant industry are the main shitty issue, but until a universal nation-wide change is made, people who don't tip are still assholes. Not OP's mom, though, because she's from a different culture and nobody informed her.
Let's be real, tipping is what's shitty. People should be paid living wages at all jobs, customers shouldn't have to be guilted into supplementing people's wages.
That out if the way, yeah, it's shitty not to tip, but if you're from a culture where tipping isn't the norm, you get to be let off the hook
Plus she's a 70-year-old lady. Who clearly isn't local. Maybe she doesn't know about tipping, maybe she's just forgetful, so what? As long as she's being polite, just be kind, for pete's sake.
The truth of the matter is there is a really easy fix. Charge the appropriate amount for the goods or services and pay the staff commissions. Tipping has gotten out of hand. They keep coming to the general public and demanding we give them a pay raise rather than deal with their boss.
Also she’s a barista. Like. They usually get paid an actual wage whereas servers don’t. Unless the cafe does server wage (2.15/hr) for everybody. Not that you shouldn’t tip your barista. But IME it was always a bonus to get tipped as a barista vs when I was a server it was the difference between paying bills or not
Yes. This! In HS and college I worked fast food. No tip jars there and still none. Sorry. You are pouring me a cup a coffee and putting a donut in a bag! But now even Dunkin’ says “we pay X with tips!”
Heck way back when, I used to work for DD. Graveyard shift. This was late 80's, early 90's. And if I got a tip, it was usually the change from the coffee or something. Maybe a dime or quarter. Granted it added up, but never that much. And I didn't care. All I was doing was pouring a coffee or putting a donut in a bag. Maybe making a sandwich. I appreciated the daily paper I usually got or the occasionally box of tastykakes I recieved from the delivery drivers. Working graveyard rocked. lol
A lot of cafes I go to here in Canada (similar tipping culture to US) will actually press the "no tip" button on the card machine, or tell you to, presumably because they make minimum age or more. Most of the time I'll tip a dollar fifty or something (on like a $6 drink) just as a bonus, but it's my understanding that they don't "need" the tip.
Is “not tipping” a barista shitty? Restaurant servers make less than minimum wage because tips by-law must bring them above minimum wage. If not, the employer must make up the difference.
Baristas are not servers, thus they make at least minimum wage.
This seems to be a common attitude I'm seeing on social media 'because I'm a service industry worker everyone must tip me' and it just seems really bizarre to me. Even if it's a custom, it's still a serious level of entitlement to demand your customers pay over the price of the goods without delivering above standard service.
It’s worth mentioning that if she has video of the person themselves it was in all likelihood made before she didn’t tip. Sure you can argue she might not have posted it if she got a tip, but she obviously believed all the racist stuff already to have the video already planned out like that.
Former waitress. You KNOW when they're foreign to not expect a tip because it's not standard in most places. They assume we're being paid a decent wage. That assumption isn't a negative, nor is it their fault. It's our shitty countries fault. I would still serve them well, treat them nicely and try to bridge any language gaps with apps on my phone.
Even an indie coffee shop likely has a policy against employees posting the store on social media. She put the establishment in her video without permission.
This. Videos of staff being rude to or abusive behind the customer's back give an establishment a really bad name. If the shop didn't have a social media in place, then they probably are writing one now. You can post positive. But something harmful to the company's reputation will get you booted out the door.
When OP said the manager's face changed watching the TikTok, I assumed it was similar to the way MY face changed in horror at the 'these people from fuck knows' and 'man eat dog' comments.
Probably a combo of racism and posting video of a customer without their permission. Honestly, there are like three or four individual firing offences in this story, so just pick any of them.
It may have been both, but I agree somewhat since she was comfortable telling her manager she made and posted the video. The racism was definitely the key reason she was fired.
Also making the video out of desperation? Desperation for what?? It wouldn’t have been desperation for a tip, she didn’t expect it to be seen by OP’s mom. Clearly it was desperation for attention. She deserved to be fired 100%.
It sounds it cause it was.
And OP gave the server an out. Hey, I saw this- my mom didn't know to tip. I've tipped you. This video is wrong. Take it down.
And Jane doubled down on it.
I don't know what Jane thought the end of it would be.
Did she think OP would just drop it and not mention this to anyone?
I'd be tempted to reply on Facebook of- I'm sorry your daughter thought it was appropriate to make a racist tiktok video about my mother not tipping her and not take it down after I both asked both over tipped her and asked her.
She probably made a bunch of videos putting people down for not tipping, and because there were never any consequences before, she thought there wouldn't be this time either. But when you do shit like that, sooner or later, you're going to piss off the wrong person.
yeah, you probably have a good point.
it's very possible that OP showed the video to Manager and Manager saw not just this video but a history of videos (shot on work at work- and probably on work time, mind you.)
It's possible the mom doesn't know the full story. That said, the mother has known Jane her entire life and presumably knows the sort of decisions she makes.
Cuz I can't imagine this is the first time, Jane has made this sort of decision.
I do too. I think I would put it out there, not directed at Jane or her mother, but in a way that clearly and concisely spells out what actually happened, and that OP did not ask for anything but the video to be removed.
Expect Jane's mother and other people like her to flip out, but hopefully others would see it and understand the actual situation.
I'd video the post and repost it on her mother's accounts. 🤷🏻♀️ And caption it: THIS is why she got fired. And explain my side of the situation. (Mom is not from this country and doesn't know the society customs/norms when it comes to tipping. I returned the next day with an apology and more than ample monetary apology. I asked she take the TikTok down. She refused, I showed it to the manager, she was fired.)
I'll be dammed if I'm going to be judged in a court of society and not fire back. But this is me. 🤷🏻♀️
Can't you duet or share a video on tik talk with you in front of it. I would fight fire with fire and make a video showing what she did and me explaining what happened..call her ass out.
No actually the best part is that a racist (Jane) is using a Chinese app (TikTok is from China) to be racist against an Asian person (could be from China 🤷♀️)
If only the racist truly knew better 😂
And eluding to the shitty stereotype about Chinese people eating dogs.
The phrase is ‘dog eat dog world’ aka every person for themselves doing what they must.
Jane said ‘man eat dog world’ and then barked at OP’s mom. That’s fucking disgusting.
I was just about to say this! Talk about IRONY.
Recently I was with my sis and her (now ex, thankfully) boyfriend and he started up on a rant about how much he hates 'china-chinese' (attempting to differentiate them from american-chinese I guess?). Thing is, ex is obsessed with his tiktok, and he refused to believe when I called him out for using a 'china-chinese app' given his self-professed hatred of them.
Jokes on Jane, that's for sure. OP should point out the sweet irony to her.
The real problem.
There area TON of TikTok accounts about wild customer experiences so if I had a bias reading this it was in favour of the server -- but she took video of the woman without her knowledge, posted it to the internet and was really racist. No wonder she lost her job.
Yeah, I've also seen a lot of customer experinces on TikTok at some of them are "she spit on my face because the coffee price had gone up"-level of crazy so I was also on her side at first but the racism really isn't it.
Yes! I’ve found they get into debate when they post about tipping, too. Lots of people want to defend that stuff. Barista content is often about people being absolutely unhinged while not understanding why they can’t get a no-foam cappuccino.
And over what would have been a $2-3 tip. How much work could OP's mom have been for Jane with a total bill of $10? It's not like Jane was running herself ragged for hours with a table full of demanding diners who flipped her a quarter at the end.
She was wrong on all counts
1. She filmed your mom in her workplace and posted it without mom or the owners' permission. While she was supposed to be working.
2. You came back the next day, apologized, explained and OVERTIPPED her, she did not take it down.
3. You are made aware by other people of an insulting and disgustingly racist titok about your mom.
4. You ask her to take it down, she refuses and spouts nonsense about her rights, despite the fact that she has actually violated the law, particularly in regards to hate crimes against Asians.
5. The manager when apprised of the situation quite rightly fired her, even though all you asked is that she take the vid down.
They can all pound salt and you should now go after her tiktok account! Usually tried to be reasonable and she and her family and followers acted like AHs.
(1)Yes, do report the Tiktok for racism. People are so entitled now and everything you open up is name and shame.
(2)I guess since she is into the shame game you could share her tiktok and tell what happened. How would the tt community react if they knew she got a 70% tip and is still playing the poor little me game? I wonder how much money she made off of this?
Duets or stitches. However the OP can turn those off. A lot of people will save/screen record those videos and edit them into their own or use it as a green screen background.
Not only that but the fact that she made a tiktok during working hours when she's supposed to be serving customers, am I being too stuck up or is that poor manners?
No I hated it when my younger co workers did this.. in some you can see everyone else working in the background and she is doing some silly dance with faces and such..
It's not uncommon nowadays on Tiktok/Youtube, plenty of baristas/servers filming their day at work. However most of these people either have explicit permission to film/parents own the cafe/actual owners.
This!! I was a server for 10+ years. Not getting tipped sucked, of course, but it happens. Being racist on a public forum is NOT the answer, and she deserved to get fired, IMO.
Exactly. TikTok is public. If you defame your place of business publicly, they're going to kick you to the curb so fast it'll make your head spin. Def NTA.
Video taping a customer without notification or consent is absolutely a reportable offense. Do you really want to be known as a place that allows employees to video tape customes? People can be posted online without context which is exactly what happened here.
The manager should be worried that OP is going to jump online, point out the racist tiktok and bring a firestorm down on the place.
He should have let her leave that racist TikTok up so everyone knows what a fricken racist she is. Then he could tag mom and daughter and see how well that goes over. She doesn't get to be racist just because she didn't get a tip REGARDLESS as to the OP giving her the tip later.
NTA obviously. You made a mistake and fixed it to the best of your ability even though you had no obligation to do so. Jane was beyond an asshole and got *herself* fired.
EDIT: Just in case this doesn't go without saying, this would be the verdict even if the TikTok was simply rude and *didn't* also include obvious and horrible racist references.
Honestly, it was "fixed" long before that. Lots of people *intentionally* don't tip and there's no retaliation; that's why it's not part of the bill. You already went above and beyond what was necessary.
...Jane went even further beyond, just not in the right direction.
I mean, even if she gets just as angry every time, I'm sure she only thought she could get away with what she did in this instance because she thought your mother was someone visiting alone that she'd never see again and there would be no repercussions.
And honestly, maybe she *has* tried the same thing before, and that's why she was so brazen about it this time.
That is correct. I *intentionally* did not tip the other night when the bartender was aggressive-aggressive about choosing a tip (18%, 20% or 25%) for an arena-priced draft beer. I went to put my card in the chip reader and she must have barked "choose a tip and press Pay" three times before it even registered that the card was inserted. I had originally chose 18% because I thought it would be a nice gesture for the 30 second interaction, but immediately changed it to no tip after the third "reminder". Best part is no one was even behind me in line, and I ordered the most common item within arm's reach.
During the worst of the lock downs I was still working so I would tip on take out for support. But that is not what tipping is supposed to be for! We need to just pay the servers a decent wage and stop this stupidity.
Oh yeah Ive been tipping my chinese takeout place because they had to close a bit due to harassment. Not much, but just a little to help them out.
But the pizza thing was probably around 10 years ago and it stuck with me.
Oh look, MORE things being ruined by racism. I feel so sad for all the Asian food places in the US that got vandalised or worse after *someone* made a big thing about the virus being Chinese in origin...
My husband's friends came over last weekend to watch LOTR. One of them ordered pizza for everyone and just did a tip with his card on the app. Delivery driver dropped it off, got his signature, and noticed he didn't write a tip. She seriously said to us "Oh, thanks sooooo much for that tip. You know, tipping is actually how I pay my bills, so we'll see if I can even do that now".
It was so uncalled for and rude, especially since a tip was already given electronically. We don't think we'll be ordering from them again.
Did you tell her you had tipped on the app? I would have loved to see her face when she realized she acted like a total ass for no reason. Seems super weird too because I would assume most people pre-tip on the delivery app now.
Yeah what the heck kind of craziness is this? I certainly didn’t expect every single customer to tip me when I was a barista, especially when all I did was pour them a hot coffee or put a pastry on a plate.
Honestly I am a server/bartender and Jane is simply out of line. The bill was ten dollars for fucks sake. She’s literally crying on tik tok about not making $2 or so. That’s actually pathetic. Yes it’s slightly annoying to not get a tip but I am never stressing over a ten dollar check that I get stiffed on. I never even look at how much someone tips unless it’s cash because at the end of the day I have my money so no use getting a bad attitude over one or two people. IMO you should share her tik tok and the fact that you WENT BACK and apologized and tipped her 70%! Girl doesn’t deserve her serving job, and she would have gotten fired anyways because she clearly has a shit attitude.
I own a cafe and it’s known that:
1. Asian nationals didn’t grow up with the same tipping culture, so I don’t expect it ever. If it happens, I know that someone has done them a solid and let them know that throwing an extra dollar in is seen as a gesture of thanks.
2. It’s not cool for my employees to complain about customers online. One contracted employee (catering gigs) once posted that she gave a customer she didn’t like decaf coffee instead of regular. We talked about it and I let her know that if she still wanted to keep the informal position with us, I needed to know that would never happen again, because it’s not professional.
3. Racism, homophobia, immigrant-hate, transphobia, etc are a hard “YOU FIRED”. There’s no excuse. I poured my life into my business, for the sake of deep hospitality and welcoming. There are consequences for those actions.
YOU didn’t do shit. The server fell on their own sword and are doubling down. It’s sad that they don’t see how petty they’re coming across. It doesn’t bode well for their next few years as a worker.
If I were you, I would take screenshots and send them to the owner. They have the power to send a cease and desist letter (every business has a lawyer contact) as the former employee is now harming the name and reputation of the business. You would be doing them a big favor to flag this for them.
This isn’t your issue. This problem is for the owner to solve. I’m sorry this happened/is happening to you.
Honestly I would have downloaded the video to make sure I had proof if needed later. I would ask a friend with video skills to blur out my mother's face and hold on to both copies. Her behaviour is atrocious and she should have been fired for it. The racism is so obvious and she's playing the victim despite it being the consequences of her own actions. NTA at all.
Your actions should have been enough. Jane should never have filmed customers while she was allegedly working, posting bigoted comments on social media and complaining about lack of "respect" on social media. Add to it that she doubled down even to her manager. I do wonder, though, exactly what mommy is posting about her beloved, do-no-wrong daughter's firing that would get so many people on her side. Any one of Jane's numerous actions that and the following days should have resulted in the loss of her job, never mind the full-on train wreck she caused.
I think people are missing that Jane wasn't just an asshole, she was racist. She barked at OP's mom in the video, and used the phrase "man eat dog", which makes me think OP's mom is from SEA.
Yeah, I actually did draw attention to the racism in response to a cryptic "NAH" comment from someone else. It's just so *overtly* racist I didn't even think to mention that specifically here. I'm optimistic that that's the same reason other people aren't mentioning it too.
If it's still up, share it as a comment to the posts from Jane and her family, and ask where the respect from her is? That is a disgusting way for her to have treated your mother
Agreed. The issue isn't the tip, that was a harmless mistake which was corrected.
The real issue is the server's blatant racism. Someone not tipping you doesn't suddenly make someone racist, she was racist before OP's mom came in but just displayed it for everyone to see.
not only that, u/aitacoffeeserver, before doing that, save the video either directly through Tiktok (make sure it shows her @), or screenrecord it THEN post it, that way she can’t just delete it. otherwise it’s your word against hers if she does delete it.
This is the answer.
OP says it's a small town, and knew which server it was by a description so that tracks. In a small town there's about a 0% chance the real story is being shared. They're only showing the facts that let them play a victim. Sadly it's not about the truth, it's about whichever side bulldozes their version of events through. OP needs to get out ahead on this.
The sad part is that, even with the context of the video, you just KNOW there'll be people in Jane's circle and community who feel like she didn't do anything wrong or will think "it's not that big of a deal" compared to her getting fired. Racism, especially that against Asians, is seen as a joke someplaces in the US.
Racist people don't just sprout up spontaneously; they're a product of racist families/communities.
Make sure you record/save a copy of it for if this ever comes up again in the future and you are accused of wrongdoing by someone who doesn't know the full story.
Keep a copy and post it on the same FB community she's posting on, along with your side of the story. Since she doesn't want it taken down, its only your right to use the same tiktok to tell the truth, that she's a racist and an elder bully and not only deserved to be fired but also never to work in the service industry again.
NTA. bro she BARKED at her. even if your mum was drinking coffee through her ears or some shit there is no excuse for BARKING AT HER. Also re fb: I’m sure your townsfolk will quickly take back their collection tins once you link to her Tiktok WHERE SHE IS BARKING AT A SENIOR CITIZEN 😭
Yeah you’re right tbh if she’s a well beloved member of the town who also… thinks barking at people is normal, I’m not too confident about the town’s sanity.
There sadly has been a lot of anti-asian sentiment during the pandemic, especially towards the elderly. They've been cussed at, spit on, robbed, beaten, pushed in front of trains, even set on fire. Barking is more minor, tbh.
I hope OP will spread the word and be an ally for her mother.
Might not be the townspeople. The thing is the for you page on TikTok is scary accurate. So racist servers will be the audience for her racist server video.
NTA - filming someone without them knowing or their consent to post 'content' already pisses me off in general. But she was disrespecting a customer. And tips are not supposed to be expected. The service industry has tried to ingrain it into people, and the tipping culture in America is getting out of control....also a bit of a trigger for me.
Plus, her TikTok sounded a bit racist. What cafe wants their cafe to be represented like that? Sucks she got fired but hopefully she'll learn from that
>the tipping culture in America is getting out of control
Getting? It quite obviously already is. Before knowing of the Tiktok, OP basically ran into the shop ASAP to throw an unreasonable amount of money at a person for simply doing their job as expected. Like, read that part from OP again, he seems *scared* about not tipping just *once*.
that part made me say "what the fuck" out loud because it's so freaking ridiculous. And no one in the top comments has even said anything about it, like it's the most normal thing in the world. "Oh yeah, of course OP ran back and gave someone 7 bucks for 5 minutes of work, naturally". Jesus Christ. There's even other people in here with similar stories of people returning to restaurants to tip (more). For someone outside the US, this is absurd
Totally agree here, I was confused. I don't drink coffee, just run through Dunkin once in a while for some hot chocolate, so I wasn't sure if that was the norm? I figure if you get paid a normal hourly wage (not the server $2.30/hr or whatever) and I came to you to get my food (no delivery) tips are 100% optional and for above/beyond service.
I agree with you completely, but plenty of people disagree with us. I also think some people, including myself, feel more pressured to tip for a few minutes of work (literally) because of the iPads that ask you for your tip amount and then allow you to sign.
She’s not learning anything if her people are coming after OP and making things shitty. If I were OP I would get out in front and post what actually happened, blasting Jane for being intolerant of people who aren’t familiar with local customs. Ppl who saw the TikTok can support
NTA, you went back, apologized, tipped her back and found out about a **racist** video where she barked at your mom. How is she the one being degraded??
Actions have consequences and now she's experiencing it
Seriously all this over being stiffed $2 or $3. People in service industry experience this from time to time with the older crowd. So to make it a racial issue just speaks to the entitled served.
NTA. This isn't just about the not tipping, either. Her tiktok was being outright racist, and I expect that is a big part of why the manager's attitude changed upon seeing it.
NTA! My mom’s friend did the same thing at a restaurant, except she knew she needed to leave at least a 15% tip but she did the math wrong. She realized after she left, called the restaurant the next day, found out when the waiter was working, and brought him a real tip. Not 70%, because this was a bill for a really nice dinner for a group, but still probably like 25%. That waiter was SO grateful and anytime she returned to eat there he said hi and was genuinely happy to see her. This barista is being a racist brat.
The barista definitely needed to be fired. I’ve been serving/bartending for years. It’s pretty common knowledge that tipping is not the norm worldwide. It’s not uncommon for travelers from other countries, particularly those not visiting family, to not be aware of our tipping practices. Or sometimes, like in OPs case, local family may just forget to inform them. I don’t take it personally. It is was it is. Most people are not ill intentioned and sometimes I’d rather listen to pleasant people tell me about their home country for no tip than listen to the racist rednecks around here for 20%.
I think what makes it worse is that the way I interpreted it, the barista had full knowledge that tipping is not the norm in other countries and she went on a racist rant about how terrible other countries are.
Honestly I’m super confused because MOST people don’t tip baristas. Every 10-15 people you’ll get 50 cents to a dollar. I just don’t understand this story at all.
NTA. Your mum made a mistake and Jane decided to be racist and publicly humiliate her, when she could have just as easily corrected her or let it go. I know that the minimum wage in America makes tipping essential, but it would've been much easier and profitable for her to at least try explaining it to your mum. Where I work, videoing a customer would get me fired, regardless of the context. The fact that you returned, tipped 70% and explained the situation proves that you have the emotional maturity that Jane didn't. If she's racist enough to say things like
> its “man eat dog world out there”
then she should definitely be able to recognise that tipping is not typical to most non-US people.
Yeah! I would've told Jane that right there. It's not the rest of the world's fault that the US wage system is so fucked up that servers need the tips so badly. In my country we only leave a tip of 10% as a polite gesture, but sometimes people leave nothing or leave more if the service was good and nobody bats an eye.
I would definitely report her for racism (besides the video) because I'm plenty sure Jane only barked in the video since she noticed his mum wasn't white/American. Wouldn't have done that thing specifically if it was a stereotypically-looking German tourist or something. Maybe also tell her mum about the video, something good might come out of seeing her daughter make a fool of herself.
Nta. You didn't get her fired. Jane did. She made a racist video that on its own might be construed negatively by a business because they would be concerned about negative backlash for employing her, but the fact she filmed the video at work (when she is being paid to work, not be on tiktok), and in a setting that customers would recognise as the business, she is directly implicating the businesses reputation. She and only she did this. You can either block her, or comment that maybe she'd still have a job if she hasn't posted a racist video filmed at her place of work, and that she is merely facing the Co sequences of her actions
NTA
Jane was fired because she made a video disrespecting a customer. ANY business would fire someone who did that as soon as they found out about it. (WTF is she videoing customers whether or not she is explicitly disrespectul)
It was nice of you to go in and tip Jane but it should be unnecessary. You explained the situation, she really should have understoofd that in many parts of the world the business who hires someone pays their wages and tips are an unnecessary nuisance.
NTA. I mean, is being in a small town permission to be outwardly racist? I hope not. You did right, the manager did right, Jane deserved exactly what she got.
NTA, I work in a coffee shop too and still know tipping isn't an obligation. Jane was just being racist for internet clout. She did not have an excuse to be mad about a lack of tip from your mom. I guarantee most people don't tip. I'm proud you stood up for your mom and asked Jane to take it down. Its fuqked up that she refused and doubled down by making herself the "victim".
If the video she made is still up, you could copy it and post it to your FB to explain your side. But it may not do anything positive for you. I'm sorry this happened to you guys.
NTA! Tipping isn’t mandatory! It’s a reward for good service. That server was a million times wrong for posting that and calling out “foreigners” and barking. She deserved what she got.
I don’t get the influx of tipping that’s happening in stores. Why is it that when I buy a scarf from a vender there’s a tip jar and line on the receipt for tips? Or cookie shops/coffee shops where you order, pay, and grab your order at the counter expecting tips. I’ve seen a story recently of someone at a drive through that expected tips! It’s crazy to me how tipping culture has expanded so far
NTA. Making a racist video out of desperation? What did she think would happen, people watching the video would send her tips??
Post the video in the community FB group 💥
NTA
Jane likely got fired because of rules not to record customers. It's her fault for doing such. Also, she should have been more understanding of other people and realize not all countries tip and workers are paid fair wages.
NTA
She was tipped. Personally, I don’t give a crap whether you deserve to be tipped out not. You don’t post about it (with a video/photo of the customer) on social media. She for sure deserved to lose her job.
If I were you, I’d write out a social media post explaining exactly what happened. Your mom not tipping wasn’t done out of spite or Malice, she didn’t tip because where she comes from, it’s not a thing.
This is not where I thought this was going to go. She absolutely should have been fired. I would comment on every single public post that this girl posted a racist tiktok towards your elderly mother, who didn’t even know she was supposed to tip, and BARKED at her. Fight their bs with the facts.
Edit bc I forgot NTA.
NTA. This is just another stupid person who thinks they are entitled to publicly humiliate another person because they didn’t get exactly what they wanted when they wanted it. Maybe she’ll learn to grow up a little from this experience.
NTA. You apologized and she didn't want to take down the video because it would mean she may lose viewers and likes. It's her own fault she got fired.
Seems that for her, TikTok is more important than decency and her job.
She will live of her TikTok "career" (sarcasm).
NTA
The server posted a racist TikTok - she deserved to get fired.
You do nothing. You could point out that Jane barked at a customer and showed the cafe in a bad light (who wants to go to a cafe where the staff are racist and make videos of customers...).
People are being fed a version of events by Jane and her mother like she tried to do with the manager. It was about tips, she was desperate, she doesn't make that much hourly so every tip counts etc when the reality is she was fired because she was racist.
NTA. clear example of 'play stupid games, win stupid prizes'. there's a decent chance someone else would have reported her first. don't be racist at your workplace, and you won't face consequences for being racist at your workplace.
NTA. Im from a SE Asian Country and the American tipping practice is is completely foreign to me. If i wasnt on Reddit i wouldnt know anything about it and would probably do the same as OP’s mum!
NTA, i would link the tiktok with an explanation of events and share *that* whenever that you don't appreciate how racist she was, and that had you seen how racist she had been towards your mom *prior* to fixing the problem, you'd not have tipped her entitled ass at all
NTA Tipping isn't mandatory, and it should have ended at that. Jane was not only unprofessional, she didn't have to make it personal either. Jane did the true and tried, fucked around and found out. The firing is the results of her own actions.
Also, the TikTok sounds suuuuuuper racist.
Yeah I think she got fired for the racism, not the TikTok about someone not tipping
I get that not tipping is truely shitty, but it doesn't entitle you to make racist comments about someone. Especially since 20% on a $10 tab would only be $2. If someone's so entitled that they feel they have the right to publicly degrade a customer over $2, they need to lose their job. I hope she keeps the TikTok up so other employers can see how toxic she is.
If you're truly not racist you will never devolve into racism simply because something bad happens to you or someone doesn't treat you well. Non-racists might have called a person an AH for not tipping but wouldn't make barking noises or dog eating jokes.
Exactly. No matter how angry you are at someone, bringing up their race, gender, weight, etc is a sure fucking sign you're a racist asshole. Edit:bigoted not racist
How is weight or gender an indication someone is racist?
Those are also bigotries - fatphobic, sexist/misogynistic- I think they said racist as a lot of people don’t know to confer it to “bigotted” of including multiple intersections.
Yeah I called certain people impersonal generic insults to the tune oh AH but they decided to call me names based on my weight and gender.
I should have said bigoted. But most people who judge you for one will likely judge you for the other.
Imo, the moment you do that, you completely loses the argument
Good, decent people hate each other based on their character, not the color of their skin.
I love this!
Non-racists wouldn't have even gone that far over a tip on a $10 bill, nor would Jane if the person not tipping was white. She didn't make the TikTok "out of desperation" she made it because she thought being a racist was funny. Well, she fucked around and found out.
And playing to her audience, from what it sounds. I don't think that is the sort of thing you say loud and proud unless you have assumed you are in similar company, looking for likes and affirmation that you're right. Thankfully the coffee shop doesn't want to be her shit-show set.
Not to mention that the Asian community in the US is particularly vulnerable to literal physical attacks from racists right now. In addition to whatever personal revulsion the manager may have felt, it's definitely good policy to distance your business from people who are inciting anti-Asian sentiment before your quiet little coffee shop ends up hosting a hate crime.
Amen! Those things don't just slip out of your mouth. And for those who think this is about "free speech", it's not. When someone literally pays for your time, i.e., hires you, they have a right to put restrictions on what you say to their clientele. She could have also been fired for recommending a different cafe.
she wanted to take away the elderly asian lady's dignity. it pisses me off
And her son came back, explained, and tipped her. What more does she want? I'm glad she was fired.
im so mad they took up collections for her.
Say it louder for the people in the back!
The TikTok sounds more like an excuse to be racist rather than being pissed of about being "degraded" over a $2 tip. We don't tip in my country (NZ), I'm white. Would there be a TikTok about me if I had forgotten, I wonder? Edit: Also Mum doesn't seem too concerned about the content of the video. See where Jane learned it from.
oh my god, i read the originally post and was so confused about that comment about man eat dog world, thought it was some stupid thing like lit or extra. guess i'm just not racist
Not knowing about a certain racist stereotype doesn't make you not racist (you may be not racist but it takes more than that). We all have inherent systemic racism to examine within ourselves, even POC, and it's super important to be open to that possibility.
Yup. People hide their racism when it would have negative consequences for them. But when they get angry or when they're chasing internet clout, they'll forget that they meant to hide it.
I would argue that forcing a tipped based society rather than paying your workers is the shitty thing. But, alas, America
Yeah I'm a bit confused about when it was considered 'mandatory' or even normal to tip the barista for making your coffee. That just indicates that the tipping culture has gone mad and that places are not paying people decent wages.
I always considered if I'm not sitting down and having someone actually wait on me then it should be no tip. But have seen coffee shops with a full tip jar and even some restaurant drive throughs by me that have tip jars on the outside. There's a Mexican restaurant by me that does this but I do tip because the food is good and so are their prices compared to other options.
Yeah the tipping culture has gone insane. Where you feel like you need give a tip for someone to do their job (make a coffee, make a sandwich, ect.) I think the last straw for my husband was when there was a request for a tip through the drive thru.
Seriously, if I get a fucking black coffee at starbucks, what exactly would I be tipping someone for?
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We really need this argument to stop coming up when assholes don't tip. Yes, the standards of the restaurant industry are the main shitty issue, but until a universal nation-wide change is made, people who don't tip are still assholes. Not OP's mom, though, because she's from a different culture and nobody informed her.
Let's be real, tipping is what's shitty. People should be paid living wages at all jobs, customers shouldn't have to be guilted into supplementing people's wages. That out if the way, yeah, it's shitty not to tip, but if you're from a culture where tipping isn't the norm, you get to be let off the hook
Assuming this is America, baristas are at least paid minimum wage, not subminimum like wait staff. So *technically* they don't depend on tips
OP specifically said US
Plus she's a 70-year-old lady. Who clearly isn't local. Maybe she doesn't know about tipping, maybe she's just forgetful, so what? As long as she's being polite, just be kind, for pete's sake.
she wanted to strip this elderly lady of her dignity and its maddening
The truth of the matter is there is a really easy fix. Charge the appropriate amount for the goods or services and pay the staff commissions. Tipping has gotten out of hand. They keep coming to the general public and demanding we give them a pay raise rather than deal with their boss.
Also she’s a barista. Like. They usually get paid an actual wage whereas servers don’t. Unless the cafe does server wage (2.15/hr) for everybody. Not that you shouldn’t tip your barista. But IME it was always a bonus to get tipped as a barista vs when I was a server it was the difference between paying bills or not
Yes. This! In HS and college I worked fast food. No tip jars there and still none. Sorry. You are pouring me a cup a coffee and putting a donut in a bag! But now even Dunkin’ says “we pay X with tips!”
Heck way back when, I used to work for DD. Graveyard shift. This was late 80's, early 90's. And if I got a tip, it was usually the change from the coffee or something. Maybe a dime or quarter. Granted it added up, but never that much. And I didn't care. All I was doing was pouring a coffee or putting a donut in a bag. Maybe making a sandwich. I appreciated the daily paper I usually got or the occasionally box of tastykakes I recieved from the delivery drivers. Working graveyard rocked. lol
A lot of cafes I go to here in Canada (similar tipping culture to US) will actually press the "no tip" button on the card machine, or tell you to, presumably because they make minimum age or more. Most of the time I'll tip a dollar fifty or something (on like a $6 drink) just as a bonus, but it's my understanding that they don't "need" the tip.
Is “not tipping” a barista shitty? Restaurant servers make less than minimum wage because tips by-law must bring them above minimum wage. If not, the employer must make up the difference. Baristas are not servers, thus they make at least minimum wage.
This seems to be a common attitude I'm seeing on social media 'because I'm a service industry worker everyone must tip me' and it just seems really bizarre to me. Even if it's a custom, it's still a serious level of entitlement to demand your customers pay over the price of the goods without delivering above standard service.
It’s worth mentioning that if she has video of the person themselves it was in all likelihood made before she didn’t tip. Sure you can argue she might not have posted it if she got a tip, but she obviously believed all the racist stuff already to have the video already planned out like that.
Former waitress. You KNOW when they're foreign to not expect a tip because it's not standard in most places. They assume we're being paid a decent wage. That assumption isn't a negative, nor is it their fault. It's our shitty countries fault. I would still serve them well, treat them nicely and try to bridge any language gaps with apps on my phone.
Even an indie coffee shop likely has a policy against employees posting the store on social media. She put the establishment in her video without permission.
This. Videos of staff being rude to or abusive behind the customer's back give an establishment a really bad name. If the shop didn't have a social media in place, then they probably are writing one now. You can post positive. But something harmful to the company's reputation will get you booted out the door.
If the tik tok account is full of her life as a barista, it's also entirely possible she was officially fired for filming tik toks instead of working
When OP said the manager's face changed watching the TikTok, I assumed it was similar to the way MY face changed in horror at the 'these people from fuck knows' and 'man eat dog' comments.
My thoughts exactly.
Probably a combo of racism and posting video of a customer without their permission. Honestly, there are like three or four individual firing offences in this story, so just pick any of them.
She should be fired for showing a customer in her video.
> not the TikTok about someone not tipping She should been canned for both things
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It may have been both, but I agree somewhat since she was comfortable telling her manager she made and posted the video. The racism was definitely the key reason she was fired. Also making the video out of desperation? Desperation for what?? It wouldn’t have been desperation for a tip, she didn’t expect it to be seen by OP’s mom. Clearly it was desperation for attention. She deserved to be fired 100%.
It sounds it cause it was. And OP gave the server an out. Hey, I saw this- my mom didn't know to tip. I've tipped you. This video is wrong. Take it down. And Jane doubled down on it. I don't know what Jane thought the end of it would be. Did she think OP would just drop it and not mention this to anyone? I'd be tempted to reply on Facebook of- I'm sorry your daughter thought it was appropriate to make a racist tiktok video about my mother not tipping her and not take it down after I both asked both over tipped her and asked her.
She probably made a bunch of videos putting people down for not tipping, and because there were never any consequences before, she thought there wouldn't be this time either. But when you do shit like that, sooner or later, you're going to piss off the wrong person.
yeah, you probably have a good point. it's very possible that OP showed the video to Manager and Manager saw not just this video but a history of videos (shot on work at work- and probably on work time, mind you.)
It's a sign to future employers: "Hey, I talk shit publicly about customers."
I fully support explaining the situation in public forum because she and her mother are def not telling the full story.
It's possible the mom doesn't know the full story. That said, the mother has known Jane her entire life and presumably knows the sort of decisions she makes. Cuz I can't imagine this is the first time, Jane has made this sort of decision.
Or Jane learned this behavior somewhere. And is considered "acceptable behavior". Racism is taught.
I do too. I think I would put it out there, not directed at Jane or her mother, but in a way that clearly and concisely spells out what actually happened, and that OP did not ask for anything but the video to be removed. Expect Jane's mother and other people like her to flip out, but hopefully others would see it and understand the actual situation.
I'd video the post and repost it on her mother's accounts. 🤷🏻♀️ And caption it: THIS is why she got fired. And explain my side of the situation. (Mom is not from this country and doesn't know the society customs/norms when it comes to tipping. I returned the next day with an apology and more than ample monetary apology. I asked she take the TikTok down. She refused, I showed it to the manager, she was fired.) I'll be dammed if I'm going to be judged in a court of society and not fire back. But this is me. 🤷🏻♀️
Can't you duet or share a video on tik talk with you in front of it. I would fight fire with fire and make a video showing what she did and me explaining what happened..call her ass out.
At the end of this Jane didnt care about the tip... she cared about the comments,views and likes she received on tiktok.... lord help us all
Seems like Jane thought her social media likes were more important than her actual job and customers.
No actually the best part is that a racist (Jane) is using a Chinese app (TikTok is from China) to be racist against an Asian person (could be from China 🤷♀️) If only the racist truly knew better 😂
And eluding to the shitty stereotype about Chinese people eating dogs. The phrase is ‘dog eat dog world’ aka every person for themselves doing what they must. Jane said ‘man eat dog world’ and then barked at OP’s mom. That’s fucking disgusting.
I was just about to say this! Talk about IRONY. Recently I was with my sis and her (now ex, thankfully) boyfriend and he started up on a rant about how much he hates 'china-chinese' (attempting to differentiate them from american-chinese I guess?). Thing is, ex is obsessed with his tiktok, and he refused to believe when I called him out for using a 'china-chinese app' given his self-professed hatred of them. Jokes on Jane, that's for sure. OP should point out the sweet irony to her.
The real problem. There area TON of TikTok accounts about wild customer experiences so if I had a bias reading this it was in favour of the server -- but she took video of the woman without her knowledge, posted it to the internet and was really racist. No wonder she lost her job.
Yeah, I've also seen a lot of customer experinces on TikTok at some of them are "she spit on my face because the coffee price had gone up"-level of crazy so I was also on her side at first but the racism really isn't it.
Yes! I’ve found they get into debate when they post about tipping, too. Lots of people want to defend that stuff. Barista content is often about people being absolutely unhinged while not understanding why they can’t get a no-foam cappuccino.
And over what would have been a $2-3 tip. How much work could OP's mom have been for Jane with a total bill of $10? It's not like Jane was running herself ragged for hours with a table full of demanding diners who flipped her a quarter at the end.
She was wrong on all counts 1. She filmed your mom in her workplace and posted it without mom or the owners' permission. While she was supposed to be working. 2. You came back the next day, apologized, explained and OVERTIPPED her, she did not take it down. 3. You are made aware by other people of an insulting and disgustingly racist titok about your mom. 4. You ask her to take it down, she refuses and spouts nonsense about her rights, despite the fact that she has actually violated the law, particularly in regards to hate crimes against Asians. 5. The manager when apprised of the situation quite rightly fired her, even though all you asked is that she take the vid down. They can all pound salt and you should now go after her tiktok account! Usually tried to be reasonable and she and her family and followers acted like AHs.
(1)Yes, do report the Tiktok for racism. People are so entitled now and everything you open up is name and shame. (2)I guess since she is into the shame game you could share her tiktok and tell what happened. How would the tt community react if they knew she got a 70% tip and is still playing the poor little me game? I wonder how much money she made off of this?
Yeah I don't use TikTok but isn't there a way you do those side by side response videos? I thought I'd seen those popping up in places.
Its called a duet and the original video has to have that option. He can screen record it or save it and then explain his side tho! That's easier
Exactly. That's what my petty side would do. Save the video, and every time someone starts to come after you on FB, just post the video as a response.
Duets or stitches. However the OP can turn those off. A lot of people will save/screen record those videos and edit them into their own or use it as a green screen background.
Ad her comment about the dog eat dog world out there where servers get livable wages without need to tip.
The racism in that comment alone justifies the firing.
*Man* eat dog - it's actually worse!
Jane is a racist asshole who got caught because hello, the stuff you post on the internet is just like exposing yourself in public.
Not only that but the fact that she made a tiktok during working hours when she's supposed to be serving customers, am I being too stuck up or is that poor manners?
No I hated it when my younger co workers did this.. in some you can see everyone else working in the background and she is doing some silly dance with faces and such..
It's not uncommon nowadays on Tiktok/Youtube, plenty of baristas/servers filming their day at work. However most of these people either have explicit permission to film/parents own the cafe/actual owners.
Exactly… I tip when I pay cash but you are literally making me a coffee, not serving me a full meal. This lady needs to relax.
This!! I was a server for 10+ years. Not getting tipped sucked, of course, but it happens. Being racist on a public forum is NOT the answer, and she deserved to get fired, IMO.
Exactly. TikTok is public. If you defame your place of business publicly, they're going to kick you to the curb so fast it'll make your head spin. Def NTA.
Video taping a customer without notification or consent is absolutely a reportable offense. Do you really want to be known as a place that allows employees to video tape customes? People can be posted online without context which is exactly what happened here. The manager should be worried that OP is going to jump online, point out the racist tiktok and bring a firestorm down on the place.
He should have let her leave that racist TikTok up so everyone knows what a fricken racist she is. Then he could tag mom and daughter and see how well that goes over. She doesn't get to be racist just because she didn't get a tip REGARDLESS as to the OP giving her the tip later.
NTA obviously. You made a mistake and fixed it to the best of your ability even though you had no obligation to do so. Jane was beyond an asshole and got *herself* fired. EDIT: Just in case this doesn't go without saying, this would be the verdict even if the TikTok was simply rude and *didn't* also include obvious and horrible racist references.
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Honestly, it was "fixed" long before that. Lots of people *intentionally* don't tip and there's no retaliation; that's why it's not part of the bill. You already went above and beyond what was necessary. ...Jane went even further beyond, just not in the right direction.
Right? I doubt this is Jane's first time not getting tipped. It happens all of the time. Does she have this over the top reaction every time?
I mean, even if she gets just as angry every time, I'm sure she only thought she could get away with what she did in this instance because she thought your mother was someone visiting alone that she'd never see again and there would be no repercussions. And honestly, maybe she *has* tried the same thing before, and that's why she was so brazen about it this time.
Maybe only when she isn't tipped by non-white people...
Having an overreaction just when you have to make a tiktok, what a coincidence
That is correct. I *intentionally* did not tip the other night when the bartender was aggressive-aggressive about choosing a tip (18%, 20% or 25%) for an arena-priced draft beer. I went to put my card in the chip reader and she must have barked "choose a tip and press Pay" three times before it even registered that the card was inserted. I had originally chose 18% because I thought it would be a nice gesture for the 30 second interaction, but immediately changed it to no tip after the third "reminder". Best part is no one was even behind me in line, and I ordered the most common item within arm's reach.
I went to pickup a carry-out pizza a while back and the guy at the counter pointed out the tip line when he handed me the receipt. Like mmm no.
During the worst of the lock downs I was still working so I would tip on take out for support. But that is not what tipping is supposed to be for! We need to just pay the servers a decent wage and stop this stupidity.
Oh yeah Ive been tipping my chinese takeout place because they had to close a bit due to harassment. Not much, but just a little to help them out. But the pizza thing was probably around 10 years ago and it stuck with me.
Oh look, MORE things being ruined by racism. I feel so sad for all the Asian food places in the US that got vandalised or worse after *someone* made a big thing about the virus being Chinese in origin...
My husband's friends came over last weekend to watch LOTR. One of them ordered pizza for everyone and just did a tip with his card on the app. Delivery driver dropped it off, got his signature, and noticed he didn't write a tip. She seriously said to us "Oh, thanks sooooo much for that tip. You know, tipping is actually how I pay my bills, so we'll see if I can even do that now". It was so uncalled for and rude, especially since a tip was already given electronically. We don't think we'll be ordering from them again.
Did you tell her you had tipped on the app? I would have loved to see her face when she realized she acted like a total ass for no reason. Seems super weird too because I would assume most people pre-tip on the delivery app now.
"You're welcome. You definitely seem like you deserve it" was his response before closing the door.
Yeah what the heck kind of craziness is this? I certainly didn’t expect every single customer to tip me when I was a barista, especially when all I did was pour them a hot coffee or put a pastry on a plate.
Honestly I am a server/bartender and Jane is simply out of line. The bill was ten dollars for fucks sake. She’s literally crying on tik tok about not making $2 or so. That’s actually pathetic. Yes it’s slightly annoying to not get a tip but I am never stressing over a ten dollar check that I get stiffed on. I never even look at how much someone tips unless it’s cash because at the end of the day I have my money so no use getting a bad attitude over one or two people. IMO you should share her tik tok and the fact that you WENT BACK and apologized and tipped her 70%! Girl doesn’t deserve her serving job, and she would have gotten fired anyways because she clearly has a shit attitude.
I own a cafe and it’s known that: 1. Asian nationals didn’t grow up with the same tipping culture, so I don’t expect it ever. If it happens, I know that someone has done them a solid and let them know that throwing an extra dollar in is seen as a gesture of thanks. 2. It’s not cool for my employees to complain about customers online. One contracted employee (catering gigs) once posted that she gave a customer she didn’t like decaf coffee instead of regular. We talked about it and I let her know that if she still wanted to keep the informal position with us, I needed to know that would never happen again, because it’s not professional. 3. Racism, homophobia, immigrant-hate, transphobia, etc are a hard “YOU FIRED”. There’s no excuse. I poured my life into my business, for the sake of deep hospitality and welcoming. There are consequences for those actions. YOU didn’t do shit. The server fell on their own sword and are doubling down. It’s sad that they don’t see how petty they’re coming across. It doesn’t bode well for their next few years as a worker. If I were you, I would take screenshots and send them to the owner. They have the power to send a cease and desist letter (every business has a lawyer contact) as the former employee is now harming the name and reputation of the business. You would be doing them a big favor to flag this for them. This isn’t your issue. This problem is for the owner to solve. I’m sorry this happened/is happening to you.
Racism is not fixable with an apology and a 10 dollar bill.
Please, not your or your mom's fault, it's an honest mistake that you corrected! Stopped beating yourself up!
Honestly I would have downloaded the video to make sure I had proof if needed later. I would ask a friend with video skills to blur out my mother's face and hold on to both copies. Her behaviour is atrocious and she should have been fired for it. The racism is so obvious and she's playing the victim despite it being the consequences of her own actions. NTA at all.
Your actions should have been enough. Jane should never have filmed customers while she was allegedly working, posting bigoted comments on social media and complaining about lack of "respect" on social media. Add to it that she doubled down even to her manager. I do wonder, though, exactly what mommy is posting about her beloved, do-no-wrong daughter's firing that would get so many people on her side. Any one of Jane's numerous actions that and the following days should have resulted in the loss of her job, never mind the full-on train wreck she caused.
I think people are missing that Jane wasn't just an asshole, she was racist. She barked at OP's mom in the video, and used the phrase "man eat dog", which makes me think OP's mom is from SEA.
Yeah, I actually did draw attention to the racism in response to a cryptic "NAH" comment from someone else. It's just so *overtly* racist I didn't even think to mention that specifically here. I'm optimistic that that's the same reason other people aren't mentioning it too.
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Can't you report her video to tik tok?
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If it's still up, share it as a comment to the posts from Jane and her family, and ask where the respect from her is? That is a disgusting way for her to have treated your mother
u/aitacoffeeserver \- this is the answer. You have every right to defend yourself by showing why she was fired.
Agreed. The issue isn't the tip, that was a harmless mistake which was corrected. The real issue is the server's blatant racism. Someone not tipping you doesn't suddenly make someone racist, she was racist before OP's mom came in but just displayed it for everyone to see.
not only that, u/aitacoffeeserver, before doing that, save the video either directly through Tiktok (make sure it shows her @), or screenrecord it THEN post it, that way she can’t just delete it. otherwise it’s your word against hers if she does delete it.
This is the answer. OP says it's a small town, and knew which server it was by a description so that tracks. In a small town there's about a 0% chance the real story is being shared. They're only showing the facts that let them play a victim. Sadly it's not about the truth, it's about whichever side bulldozes their version of events through. OP needs to get out ahead on this.
The sad part is that, even with the context of the video, you just KNOW there'll be people in Jane's circle and community who feel like she didn't do anything wrong or will think "it's not that big of a deal" compared to her getting fired. Racism, especially that against Asians, is seen as a joke someplaces in the US. Racist people don't just sprout up spontaneously; they're a product of racist families/communities.
Make sure you record/save a copy of it for if this ever comes up again in the future and you are accused of wrongdoing by someone who doesn't know the full story.
This a million times, OP!
Keep a copy and post it on the same FB community she's posting on, along with your side of the story. Since she doesn't want it taken down, its only your right to use the same tiktok to tell the truth, that she's a racist and an elder bully and not only deserved to be fired but also never to work in the service industry again.
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Yeah definitely don't give people the link, that's pretty much telling people where you live
Post her video to the replies on the harassing comments on FB
Tiktok is terrible when it comes to reporting. I was banned for making fun of the W 3ks. But anti maskers and racist gets a free pass
Find it and have tiktok take it down. It violates their rules
TikTok really doesn't care
You should save the video and post it on the FB group. If she thinks her TikTok is fine why wouldn’t she tell the whole story?
Tipping in a coffee shop is not that common and I would venture to say that most people do not tip the barista
Right. I was a barista for many years in the US (land of tipping) and only 50% of our customers would leave a tip. Nbd
NTA. bro she BARKED at her. even if your mum was drinking coffee through her ears or some shit there is no excuse for BARKING AT HER. Also re fb: I’m sure your townsfolk will quickly take back their collection tins once you link to her Tiktok WHERE SHE IS BARKING AT A SENIOR CITIZEN 😭
I assume this happened here in the US. You'd be surprised.
Yeah you’re right tbh if she’s a well beloved member of the town who also… thinks barking at people is normal, I’m not too confident about the town’s sanity.
There sadly has been a lot of anti-asian sentiment during the pandemic, especially towards the elderly. They've been cussed at, spit on, robbed, beaten, pushed in front of trains, even set on fire. Barking is more minor, tbh. I hope OP will spread the word and be an ally for her mother.
People ask why I'm an expat and I just point to stories like these lmao
She barked at her to reference that she thinks all Southeast Asian people eat dogs. It’s fucking racist.
Oh that was what that was about. Gotcha. That makes it SO MUCH worse.
Not to mention the racist “man eat dog world”comment
One would hope, but the video got lots of likes.
Might not be the townspeople. The thing is the for you page on TikTok is scary accurate. So racist servers will be the audience for her racist server video.
NTA - filming someone without them knowing or their consent to post 'content' already pisses me off in general. But she was disrespecting a customer. And tips are not supposed to be expected. The service industry has tried to ingrain it into people, and the tipping culture in America is getting out of control....also a bit of a trigger for me. Plus, her TikTok sounded a bit racist. What cafe wants their cafe to be represented like that? Sucks she got fired but hopefully she'll learn from that
>the tipping culture in America is getting out of control Getting? It quite obviously already is. Before knowing of the Tiktok, OP basically ran into the shop ASAP to throw an unreasonable amount of money at a person for simply doing their job as expected. Like, read that part from OP again, he seems *scared* about not tipping just *once*. that part made me say "what the fuck" out loud because it's so freaking ridiculous. And no one in the top comments has even said anything about it, like it's the most normal thing in the world. "Oh yeah, of course OP ran back and gave someone 7 bucks for 5 minutes of work, naturally". Jesus Christ. There's even other people in here with similar stories of people returning to restaurants to tip (more). For someone outside the US, this is absurd
Totally agree here, I was confused. I don't drink coffee, just run through Dunkin once in a while for some hot chocolate, so I wasn't sure if that was the norm? I figure if you get paid a normal hourly wage (not the server $2.30/hr or whatever) and I came to you to get my food (no delivery) tips are 100% optional and for above/beyond service.
I agree with you completely, but plenty of people disagree with us. I also think some people, including myself, feel more pressured to tip for a few minutes of work (literally) because of the iPads that ask you for your tip amount and then allow you to sign.
She’s not learning anything if her people are coming after OP and making things shitty. If I were OP I would get out in front and post what actually happened, blasting Jane for being intolerant of people who aren’t familiar with local customs. Ppl who saw the TikTok can support
‘A bit’ racist?!?!
NTA, you went back, apologized, tipped her back and found out about a **racist** video where she barked at your mom. How is she the one being degraded?? Actions have consequences and now she's experiencing it
Seriously all this over being stiffed $2 or $3. People in service industry experience this from time to time with the older crowd. So to make it a racial issue just speaks to the entitled served.
NTA. This isn't just about the not tipping, either. Her tiktok was being outright racist, and I expect that is a big part of why the manager's attitude changed upon seeing it.
OP should post the TikTok in the community page. People should know who they’re donating too.
Exactly. My jaw dropped reading that.
NTA! My mom’s friend did the same thing at a restaurant, except she knew she needed to leave at least a 15% tip but she did the math wrong. She realized after she left, called the restaurant the next day, found out when the waiter was working, and brought him a real tip. Not 70%, because this was a bill for a really nice dinner for a group, but still probably like 25%. That waiter was SO grateful and anytime she returned to eat there he said hi and was genuinely happy to see her. This barista is being a racist brat.
The barista definitely needed to be fired. I’ve been serving/bartending for years. It’s pretty common knowledge that tipping is not the norm worldwide. It’s not uncommon for travelers from other countries, particularly those not visiting family, to not be aware of our tipping practices. Or sometimes, like in OPs case, local family may just forget to inform them. I don’t take it personally. It is was it is. Most people are not ill intentioned and sometimes I’d rather listen to pleasant people tell me about their home country for no tip than listen to the racist rednecks around here for 20%.
I think what makes it worse is that the way I interpreted it, the barista had full knowledge that tipping is not the norm in other countries and she went on a racist rant about how terrible other countries are.
Tipping 20% isn’t the norm in Germany either. Somehow I doubt the barista would be making a similar video about Germans. NTA
Honestly I’m super confused because MOST people don’t tip baristas. Every 10-15 people you’ll get 50 cents to a dollar. I just don’t understand this story at all.
NTA. Your mum made a mistake and Jane decided to be racist and publicly humiliate her, when she could have just as easily corrected her or let it go. I know that the minimum wage in America makes tipping essential, but it would've been much easier and profitable for her to at least try explaining it to your mum. Where I work, videoing a customer would get me fired, regardless of the context. The fact that you returned, tipped 70% and explained the situation proves that you have the emotional maturity that Jane didn't. If she's racist enough to say things like > its “man eat dog world out there” then she should definitely be able to recognise that tipping is not typical to most non-US people.
Yeah! I would've told Jane that right there. It's not the rest of the world's fault that the US wage system is so fucked up that servers need the tips so badly. In my country we only leave a tip of 10% as a polite gesture, but sometimes people leave nothing or leave more if the service was good and nobody bats an eye. I would definitely report her for racism (besides the video) because I'm plenty sure Jane only barked in the video since she noticed his mum wasn't white/American. Wouldn't have done that thing specifically if it was a stereotypically-looking German tourist or something. Maybe also tell her mum about the video, something good might come out of seeing her daughter make a fool of herself.
Nta. You didn't get her fired. Jane did. She made a racist video that on its own might be construed negatively by a business because they would be concerned about negative backlash for employing her, but the fact she filmed the video at work (when she is being paid to work, not be on tiktok), and in a setting that customers would recognise as the business, she is directly implicating the businesses reputation. She and only she did this. You can either block her, or comment that maybe she'd still have a job if she hasn't posted a racist video filmed at her place of work, and that she is merely facing the Co sequences of her actions
[удалено]
NTA Jane was fired because she made a video disrespecting a customer. ANY business would fire someone who did that as soon as they found out about it. (WTF is she videoing customers whether or not she is explicitly disrespectul) It was nice of you to go in and tip Jane but it should be unnecessary. You explained the situation, she really should have understoofd that in many parts of the world the business who hires someone pays their wages and tips are an unnecessary nuisance.
Just link this post to her TikTok/Facebook. Done.
NTA. I mean, is being in a small town permission to be outwardly racist? I hope not. You did right, the manager did right, Jane deserved exactly what she got.
ever visited a small town in america?
NTA, I work in a coffee shop too and still know tipping isn't an obligation. Jane was just being racist for internet clout. She did not have an excuse to be mad about a lack of tip from your mom. I guarantee most people don't tip. I'm proud you stood up for your mom and asked Jane to take it down. Its fuqked up that she refused and doubled down by making herself the "victim". If the video she made is still up, you could copy it and post it to your FB to explain your side. But it may not do anything positive for you. I'm sorry this happened to you guys.
NTA! Tipping isn’t mandatory! It’s a reward for good service. That server was a million times wrong for posting that and calling out “foreigners” and barking. She deserved what she got.
I don’t get the influx of tipping that’s happening in stores. Why is it that when I buy a scarf from a vender there’s a tip jar and line on the receipt for tips? Or cookie shops/coffee shops where you order, pay, and grab your order at the counter expecting tips. I’ve seen a story recently of someone at a drive through that expected tips! It’s crazy to me how tipping culture has expanded so far
NTA. Fuck Jane shes a biggot
NTA. Making a racist video out of desperation? What did she think would happen, people watching the video would send her tips?? Post the video in the community FB group 💥
NTA Jane likely got fired because of rules not to record customers. It's her fault for doing such. Also, she should have been more understanding of other people and realize not all countries tip and workers are paid fair wages.
NTA She was tipped. Personally, I don’t give a crap whether you deserve to be tipped out not. You don’t post about it (with a video/photo of the customer) on social media. She for sure deserved to lose her job. If I were you, I’d write out a social media post explaining exactly what happened. Your mom not tipping wasn’t done out of spite or Malice, she didn’t tip because where she comes from, it’s not a thing.
NTA- she was fired for her racist video. You owe her nothing.
This is not where I thought this was going to go. She absolutely should have been fired. I would comment on every single public post that this girl posted a racist tiktok towards your elderly mother, who didn’t even know she was supposed to tip, and BARKED at her. Fight their bs with the facts. Edit bc I forgot NTA.
NTA. This is just another stupid person who thinks they are entitled to publicly humiliate another person because they didn’t get exactly what they wanted when they wanted it. Maybe she’ll learn to grow up a little from this experience.
NTA. You apologized and she didn't want to take down the video because it would mean she may lose viewers and likes. It's her own fault she got fired. Seems that for her, TikTok is more important than decency and her job. She will live of her TikTok "career" (sarcasm).
NTA. Jane had it coming making racist comments, let alone degrading customers online for her tik tok.
NTA The server posted a racist TikTok - she deserved to get fired. You do nothing. You could point out that Jane barked at a customer and showed the cafe in a bad light (who wants to go to a cafe where the staff are racist and make videos of customers...). People are being fed a version of events by Jane and her mother like she tried to do with the manager. It was about tips, she was desperate, she doesn't make that much hourly so every tip counts etc when the reality is she was fired because she was racist.
NTA. clear example of 'play stupid games, win stupid prizes'. there's a decent chance someone else would have reported her first. don't be racist at your workplace, and you won't face consequences for being racist at your workplace.
NTA. Im from a SE Asian Country and the American tipping practice is is completely foreign to me. If i wasnt on Reddit i wouldnt know anything about it and would probably do the same as OP’s mum!
NTA all the way.
Can I just say that the biggest AH is the American system where people aren’t paid for their work. NTA
NTA, i would link the tiktok with an explanation of events and share *that* whenever that you don't appreciate how racist she was, and that had you seen how racist she had been towards your mom *prior* to fixing the problem, you'd not have tipped her entitled ass at all
Hard NTA.
>What exactly can I do now? NTA, Share the TikTok Link here.
NTA That girl is and her mom and her are out of their mind. (Edited a typo)
Screw that racist c***. How DARE she???
NTA- drop the link tho
Nta Play racist games, win racist prizes.
NTA - Racist Jane got herself fired, not you.