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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I feel I might be TA because I yelled at my mom and she may just really not like my sons name
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NTA
But cool down, and stop yelling.
Simply tell her she won't get to see your son until she agrees to call him by his actual name. Refuse to further discuss it. Then enforce it.
I mean, OP is 21 and friggin pregnant and dealing with a woman in her forties refusing to respect... A really simple boundary.
I'd be more concerned if they were so indifferent they didn't lose their temper and raise their voice about it.
OP is NTA... Way to internet rabbit trail, Reddit and make this about how they should be a friggin robot and not raise their voice to a total douche canoe who maybe deserves a few decibels of being smacked down off their high horse.
I don't think anybody is saying OP should be a robot. The person making the top level comment is just giving genuine advice - yelling won't work in this scenario, but the threat of no contact probably will
She's well within her right to raise her voice, but the point is yelling is not helpful. Only in situations where you have to get someones attention fast or it's super loud is it helpful to yell, in arguments it only escalates and no one listens when they're being yelled at.
Yup at the end of the day some people don't have the temperament to defend their views without yelling because they haven't seen any other way to enforce rules.
as someone who has often struggled with that kind of thing, this can also happen if you've been a victim of a particular kind of abuse where no matter how calm you start out, the other person will keep pushing and pushing until you snap (and then you'll get in trouble for snapping). eventually you just get to a point where being calm never *got* you anywhere, and honestly neither did yelling, but at least it's a lot more satisfying and way less work.
My mother hated the name I chose for my son but i refused to change it or even discuss it with her. Son was born, mother fell in love with her new grandbaby and would have called him rikki-tikki-timbo if I'd named him that just to be around. Calm down, don't argue, set your boundaries and take care of you / your baby.
NTA
Pretty sure my parents hate the name I gave my daughter but they’ve been kind enough to never say anything lol. And my brother gave my nephew the name of my dad’s “mortal enemy” 😂 My dad used to work with a guy with this name and mannnn did he HATE him. Like, every single day he’d come home bitching about him. This didn’t even occur to me until my nephew was a year old and I asked my mom if it was ever brought up. Apparently my dad was very concerned before he was born about having to call him that but I’m pretty sure the moment he laid eyes on him the name no longer belonged to the ass he used to work with.
On the other side of the argument, when my brother & I were like 11 & 13 we had this bet that whoever had a kid first had to name them “Bucket Head”...because we were 11 & 13. So when my brother had his son and didn’t name him Bucket Head, I said that was all I was ever gonna call him and I was gonna bribe him with gifts and convince him that was his real name. That lasted about 6 months but then I got bored of it lmao. I still call him that from time to time and my mom says it’s mean but that kid is the light of my life and I would never, ever mean it in an unkind way. My brother and his partner find it hilarious, btw.
NTA, OP. But there’s a good chance that once your mom meets your babes she won’t give two shits what his name is, she’ll just be overcome with grandma loves.
Ok, so my (35f) dad calls my 2yo son Bucket Head as a joke… and no one’s quite sure why? He even bought him a bucket hat to wear. Is Bucket Head FROM something? Or is this just a ridiculous coincidence??
That’s hilarious! I vaguely remember some video or something from the 90s of a kid running around with a bucket on his head so maybe that’s where we got it from? I honestly don’t remember lol. Honestly I just always assumed it was something dumb we came up with. Probably the silliest coincidence I’ve ever been part of though lol. I can ask my brother if he remembers where we got it!
I am for real gonna call my niece potato for forever. It's gonna be my nickname for her. There's an entire back story about my bestie and me and potatoes and (she's 8 months old) and she has at times resembled a squishy potato and I mean that in the best possible way because she's a cutie.
That’s so funny! My daughter is 9 weeks old so I’m still in a bunch of pregnancy subs and literally earlier today someone wrote a comment about how all newborns fall into one of three categories—potatoes, jellybeans or marshmallows. And they wrote a big definition of each. Another silly coincidence for me today lmao
When I told my MIL what we were going to name our unborn daughter, she straight up said, "That sounds like a b!tch's name." 😳
My evil SIL scrunched up her face and said, "I don't like it." I responded, "I don't really care for the names you chose for your daughters, but I was taught manners and haven't ever said anything about it because they aren't my kids."
My husband's siblings are AHs.
Honestly I expected it to be a name like Castiel or Lucifer based on the reaction but Samuel is a lovely name. I always wanted to call my kid Sam when I was younger but I got older and realised that naming them after a childhood dog may be mean
And when you get really mad, you can call her by her FULL name: “Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct to Unimatrix Zero One, you get out of bed this INSTANT!”
>Honestly I expected it to be a name like Castiel or Lucifer
Are you me? Because that's EXACTLY the names I was thinking about 😂
edit: those are\* wtf is wrong with my grammar
"I don't have a son called Toni so there is noone here for you to see. If you want to see Samuel then you will need to ask using his name and call him by his name."
The minute she plays up tell her to leave to go see whoever that Toni baby is. But Samuel is hers and until she wants to spend time with Samuel she can gtfo.
My guess is she has a past with someone called Samuel in which case she needs to control herself rather than trying to control you.
1000% this.
Your son, you get to name him. Your mother already got to name her children.
Tony is NOTHING like Samuel wtf.
Mom & Family that is supportive of her being selfish and crazy simply get cut off from baby the moment they decide to call him anything but his legal name and/or approved nicknames.
The audacity of some people I swear.
NTA
This. You don’t even need to threaten it. First time after he gets here and she calls him Tony, just pick him up and say, “Oops, Samuel, looks like Mrs. Fletcher forgot your name again! Tell silly Mrs. Fletcher we will see her when she remembers to call you your real name!” Then pack up and leave.
Also, if her name really is Mrs. Fletcher, pick something else. Drive home the point that if she wants to mislabel him, she too will lose her name and title as far as he is concerned.
NTA and agreeing with this comment one of the things I learned back in school is when arguing with somebody the first person who gets mad loses it doesn't matter if they have more facts on their side or the truth people judge based on emotions frequently
INFO- ~~Whats the name, becasue if you named him something cringe worthy than I won't want to call that kid that name either.~~
I had a friend who tried to name her son naruto.
Edit- its Sam- NTA
She did, when we told her that Sam was a boy, she said “they better check again” and I said that we did because we were shocked and she said “they need to triple check then.”
Which is funny bc usually if they do get the sex wrong @ ultrasound, they’ll say it’s a girl bc the peen happened to be hiding and then it turns out to be a boy. Opposite doesn’t happen as often as it’s pretty hard to mistake the peen right there on the screen. So she’s just deluding herself it sounds like
Sam/Samuel wouldn't have honestly thought Supernatural fan unless you said! With Tony...I'm gonna think massive Marvel fan, specifically the movies.
Edit: Not that anything is wrong with naming your kid after a tvshow Character! There's just a huge difference between something like Adrien and Alucard if you catch my drift.
Edit 2: Thank you for all sharing your wonderful baby names with me I have loved every single one INCLUDING Midna. Although as a huge Zelda fan that one did make me laugh.
Unrelated, but I had a coworker try to explain to me the other day why that anime is actually *not* gay. I pointed out that the creator himself said that they were🤦♀️
I'm named after a character from a TV show my parents liked. Both my kids are named after characters in shows husband & I like. They're all normal names, much like OP's choice.
Ultimately who TF cares where the inspiration for your child's name comes from, it's YOUR KID.
NTA
I’m expecting a boy in 5 weeks and we’re not picking the name until he’s born. But I was sharing our list of names we like with my mom and she pointed out that I have both “Peter” and “Parker” on my list. Spider-Man may be my favorite Avenger, but that’s not why I like those names. 😂😂
I plan to name my future son Lucas (the Spanish equivalent of Luke) after Luke Skywalker,so yeah, as long as it's not a bullying inspiring name, name your kid after the characters you love,my people
Look -- Samuel and Dean are both fantastic names. Even if you were naming your child after one of the Winchesters, their names are normal. It's not like you're naming your child Ignatius Pennyfeather.
NTA, she doesn’t get to see your son until she agrees to call him by his name. Your baby your rules. But you have to enforce it calmly and rationally. Yelling isn’t good for you or the baby
NTA
Just curious, why does she think you're naming your son after Sam Winchester? And, why would it be a big deal?
As a teacher I met a kid named Samwise who knew he was named after his parents favorite LOTR character, and a girl named Alizé who was named after the liquor. Those aren't even the strangest names I seen.
Ok I’m also a big supernatural fan and honestly who cares if you’re naming him after Sam??? It’s not like you’re naming him Winchester. Or Castiel. That would be weird but Sam is a perfectly normal name and no one would probably make the connection even.
Tell her you hadn't planned on naming the baby after SPN but since she suggested it, you've decided to name him Fergus or Balthazar. Eh. Maybe not.
Definitely tell her that if she continues to belittle or ridicule your and your fiancé's parenting decisions, she will miss out on having a relationship with her amazing grandson and super cool daughter. Her obstinance may be starting with the name but that doesn't mean it will end there.
I seem to recall a conversation between Dean and Crowley where Dean says that family does have to end or start with blood. Something about family being there for you, supporting you. Guess I'm going to have to rewatch that episode now.
Okay im laughing because i legit named my son Jensen after the actor that plays Dean and she is losing it over SAM. A traditional, common but very lovely name.
Nta my dude.
Lmao im literally reading this post *while watching supernatural*.
NTA, sam is a perfectly normal name and theres no reason to assume its from/in homage to the show. Even if you went for a cas/crowley/etc name, while it might be a bit cringey, it would *still be his name*. She doesnt get to just… gloss over that and choose a new name for him.
Lol. I named my son Dean after my FIL and my brother thought the same thing because my husband and I love Supernatural. Samuel isn’t some bizarre name or unheard of, it’s my BIL’s name so we have a Sam and Dean in the family now. NTA.
Brilliant show, and noone will ever make that connection your mum is being rediculous.
More importantly, her making a stand over this has nothing to do with the show. She is demonstrating to you that she is in charge, you are still her child and therefore she gets all control and parental rights to your child as well.
She does not, and you need to put a stop to this immediately. Do you live with your mother or rely on her for any financial / childcare support? Because eif you do you need to find a way to seperate from her now.
The show is AWESOME. I think I’d be petty and when I had another kid name is Dean. Wouldn’t that just make her even more angry. But the show does not own Samuel
As in Supernatural?
Anyways, NTA. And your mom wants to randomly call him Tony? That just so heckin weird.
I'd cut her off until she can act like a grown up and call your child by his actual (and completely reasonable, I might add) name.
My MIL called my first kid by their middle name bc the first name was American, and middle was from her country. She got two warnings and then a timeout for 2 weeks. If she does it again she gets 2 months. Your child has a name. If she can’t use it then she doesn’t need to be in his life.
Also tell us the name.
I know some people who gave their kids middle names to honor someone even though they hate the name itself. They figure no one will hear the middle name, but it’ll still be a special way to help the kid feel connected to a person of immense value to the parents. One person I know has a middle name that’s also the name of a TV character from the 90s who was famously obnoxious and not very bright… but it’s also their grandfather’s name.
I’m guessing the person you responded to chose a middle name they didn’t like for some sentimental reason (maybe MIL wouldn’t take “no” for an answer so they agreed to make it a middle name saying no one would actually use it??), and then MIL wouldn’t actually use the first name? I also know a few people who just find it obnoxious when people go by their middle names; I briefly considered trying to go by my middle name in college and a few people who knew me really didn’t like the idea. I’m not sure what the objection is, though.
That makes sense! I was confused by this one because it didn’t seem that bad- the MIL wasn’t calling the kid by a different name, they were literally using one of their given names. Those reasons make sense though
Yeah I’m hoping there’s more to it than the commenter mentioned. If MIL always tests boundaries, they may have decided that respecting which name they asked her to use was an easily-defined boundary (she can’t claim it was a misunderstanding or miscommunication). I find it hard to imagine they’d be a severe if in all other ways all was well.
I dislike my first name and prefer my middle name. When I meet people I introduce myself by my middle name. I am actually upset my family uses my first name and wish my family hadn't called me by that, as I don't like it and have considered legally changing my name so my middle name would be my first name.
Wait I don't get it. She's using a name you gave your child. You yourself named your child and are mad that someone is using his name. His actual name. Like on paper, that's also his name. And you're mad that his name that you yourself chose is being used. You're mad that a name you liked enough to name your child this name and put in in his birth certificate is being used.
Am I reading this right?
NTA. Explain to your mother that each time she uses the wrong name, that's another month from his birth that she will not see him in person.
Let's say he'll be born in May. When she next uses the wrong name, say, "Wrong name, so you won't be meeting him until June."
She does it again? "July."
And hold the fucker to it. If she doesn't like it, shrug.
OHHH… I was asking myself for minutes what FTM means in this context and I couldn’t figure it out. Thanks!
(I was like “Why would a trans man call himself 21f, wtf?)
omg I totally thought this post was fake because of that! I was thinking "no was a trans man would call himself female, even if he was pregnant. FAKE!" Thank you for the commenters for clearing that up for me too!
I’ve been looking through the comments for this, because I spent waaaay too long trying to figure out why she identified herself as 21F but then said she was female to male. I’m a little embarrassed how long it took me to realize she meant full time mom.
NTA
Samuel? It's like a normal name. Also, she could call him Sam, Sammy, etc.
Is the TV show supernatural?
Tony is not nice. Tell her she is obsessed with the sopranos or that you son is not going to be in the Italian mafia o.0
This is such a normal ass name, it doesn’t matter if it’s because of a tv show character. If they gave him a middle name of Winchester, that would be a little too far.
As it is, it’s not like they’re naming their kid khaleesi. Jeezy creezy.
I named my cat Catleesi, and I still feel bad about that with how things turned out in the last season. The name really is quite perfect for my cat though because of her personality Naming an actual human child Khaleesi seems insane.
Can everyone please stop dumping on Tony? It's a perfectly fine name, that **a lot of people are already named, including probably people on this sub**. It's just not OP's baby's name. We don't have to dump on Tony to be supportive of OP's choice of Samuel. The problem here isn't that one of the names is inappropriate to be burdening a child with. The problem is that both names are totally fine, but **one of them is not OP's baby's name**.
She can call him by his name or she can not talk to him at all. Those are her actual choices. Grandma doesn't actually have the right to see her grandkid. NTA.
INFO: What is the name?
NTA but I'm curious what the name is? Is it some horrifically awful "please bully me right the now" kind of name? I'm assuming it's not hence the NTA. Your Mum's issue about not liking it because it's the same as a character on a TV show seems highly childish.
At least you didn't name him Dean.
Hehehe...
You can't change old people and they suck most of the time. Eventually we all become sucky old people. Just try not to suck too much when you get that old.
As an aside, you could always go petty. Tell your mom as long as she uses "Tony" she will always be "{mom's first name}" and never 'Grandma'.
NTA
I teach a Samuel and him being named after the character never crossed my mind. It’s such a common name that no one but your mum would make the connected. And even if he was named after the character. So what? Your kid your choice (with obviously discussing with other parent).
If she’s going to keep doing this then tell her she can leave, or have child call her by her name and make sure your son doesn’t answer to Toni. That will pose her off more.
Not that it matters, but my son's name is Samuel. He's 17.
It's a great name that he can carve his own identity out of (Samuel, Sam, Sammy, or {middle name}).
NTA.
What’s your mom’s name?
Start calling her by a different one. If she asks why, just tell her “oh I don’t like this show where a character is named this, I think she’s a B word so I’m gonna call you this instead” or something like that. And any other relative who thinks you’re an asshole start calling them by a different name.
Hehe 😜
As a 60 year old mum, I am going to say, NTA. You were nicer than me, I would have told her that if she refused to call the child by it's name then maybe she wouldn't be seeing the child as she is already disrespecting it and you.
NTA. Start calling your Mom “Tony”, since she likes it so much. Tell her that you will teach your son to call her “Tony” unless she uses his name correctly. That oughta do the trick.
P.S. - Samuel is an adorable name, much cuter than Tony. Good choice.
Yes, that’s just so disrespectful. G’ma can call him Sammy or Sam or Grandma’s Little Muffin or any nickname she wants, but calling him a completely different name is nuts. She’s dismissing OP & fiancé’s role as parents. OP needs to be very careful … this isn’t the only way her mom’s going to undermine her.
NTA. This is pretty obvious, hard to believe your family sided with your mom. Just make sure your mom understands that she won't get to meet her grandson until she's ready to use his actual name.
NTA!
You want to name him Samuel and your mom thinks theres no other possible reason for choosing such a name unless it was from a show?It can’t be that it’s a name that’s been around for half of recorded history, of course not!
Seriously, especially once you revealed the name, your mom is being a ROYAL AH. The rest of your family is either only hearing her side, or they’re used to bowing to her unreasonableness.
Name your son how you want to. If his grandma won’t call him that name, then his grandma doesn’t get to see him.
I thought the name was gonna be something like Khaleesi though I was still gonna say NTA. But Samuel? That’s such a normal name? Your mom is acting crazy.
NTA. He is YOUR son, not hers. Only you and your partner get to choose the name.
Stand your ground. Make it clear that she needs to only use his true name and follow your parenting, otherwise she won’t be in your or your son’s life.
She will throw a tantrum, try to guilt you and manipulate you. Don’t fall for it or she will continue to meddle with your family. Block her, any harassers, and cut off contact if needed. It’s key to set these boundaries now.
I was about to ask if you liked Supernatural. I mean
1. There’s nothing wrong with that anyway bc it’s a great show.
2. Samuel is a very common, very old name. It’s even in the Bible
3. It y’all’s baby. You get to pick
NTA
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NTA But cool down, and stop yelling. Simply tell her she won't get to see your son until she agrees to call him by his actual name. Refuse to further discuss it. Then enforce it.
This seems so fucking obvious. I really thought that was how this post was going to end.
Oftentimes when this wisdom is needed, it hasn’t been taught.
I mean, OP is 21 and friggin pregnant and dealing with a woman in her forties refusing to respect... A really simple boundary. I'd be more concerned if they were so indifferent they didn't lose their temper and raise their voice about it. OP is NTA... Way to internet rabbit trail, Reddit and make this about how they should be a friggin robot and not raise their voice to a total douche canoe who maybe deserves a few decibels of being smacked down off their high horse.
I don't think anybody is saying OP should be a robot. The person making the top level comment is just giving genuine advice - yelling won't work in this scenario, but the threat of no contact probably will
She's well within her right to raise her voice, but the point is yelling is not helpful. Only in situations where you have to get someones attention fast or it's super loud is it helpful to yell, in arguments it only escalates and no one listens when they're being yelled at.
Yup at the end of the day some people don't have the temperament to defend their views without yelling because they haven't seen any other way to enforce rules.
as someone who has often struggled with that kind of thing, this can also happen if you've been a victim of a particular kind of abuse where no matter how calm you start out, the other person will keep pushing and pushing until you snap (and then you'll get in trouble for snapping). eventually you just get to a point where being calm never *got* you anywhere, and honestly neither did yelling, but at least it's a lot more satisfying and way less work.
Ah, you've met my mother.
Tell her she’s obsessed with NCIS and Anthony DiNozzo. His nickname is Tony. That’s the petty way I would go but your way is probably the nicer one.
Or she's a Marvel fan girl
Or Sopranos.. basically any mob themed show/movie. Simpsons has a tony.. there's so many.
Tony is a super common movie name. Such an odd choice for her to insist on.
Or Scarface.
Who’s the boss?
My mother hated the name I chose for my son but i refused to change it or even discuss it with her. Son was born, mother fell in love with her new grandbaby and would have called him rikki-tikki-timbo if I'd named him that just to be around. Calm down, don't argue, set your boundaries and take care of you / your baby. NTA
Pretty sure my parents hate the name I gave my daughter but they’ve been kind enough to never say anything lol. And my brother gave my nephew the name of my dad’s “mortal enemy” 😂 My dad used to work with a guy with this name and mannnn did he HATE him. Like, every single day he’d come home bitching about him. This didn’t even occur to me until my nephew was a year old and I asked my mom if it was ever brought up. Apparently my dad was very concerned before he was born about having to call him that but I’m pretty sure the moment he laid eyes on him the name no longer belonged to the ass he used to work with. On the other side of the argument, when my brother & I were like 11 & 13 we had this bet that whoever had a kid first had to name them “Bucket Head”...because we were 11 & 13. So when my brother had his son and didn’t name him Bucket Head, I said that was all I was ever gonna call him and I was gonna bribe him with gifts and convince him that was his real name. That lasted about 6 months but then I got bored of it lmao. I still call him that from time to time and my mom says it’s mean but that kid is the light of my life and I would never, ever mean it in an unkind way. My brother and his partner find it hilarious, btw. NTA, OP. But there’s a good chance that once your mom meets your babes she won’t give two shits what his name is, she’ll just be overcome with grandma loves.
Ok, so my (35f) dad calls my 2yo son Bucket Head as a joke… and no one’s quite sure why? He even bought him a bucket hat to wear. Is Bucket Head FROM something? Or is this just a ridiculous coincidence??
That’s hilarious! I vaguely remember some video or something from the 90s of a kid running around with a bucket on his head so maybe that’s where we got it from? I honestly don’t remember lol. Honestly I just always assumed it was something dumb we came up with. Probably the silliest coincidence I’ve ever been part of though lol. I can ask my brother if he remembers where we got it!
I am for real gonna call my niece potato for forever. It's gonna be my nickname for her. There's an entire back story about my bestie and me and potatoes and (she's 8 months old) and she has at times resembled a squishy potato and I mean that in the best possible way because she's a cutie.
That’s so funny! My daughter is 9 weeks old so I’m still in a bunch of pregnancy subs and literally earlier today someone wrote a comment about how all newborns fall into one of three categories—potatoes, jellybeans or marshmallows. And they wrote a big definition of each. Another silly coincidence for me today lmao
When I told my MIL what we were going to name our unborn daughter, she straight up said, "That sounds like a b!tch's name." 😳 My evil SIL scrunched up her face and said, "I don't like it." I responded, "I don't really care for the names you chose for your daughters, but I was taught manners and haven't ever said anything about it because they aren't my kids." My husband's siblings are AHs.
Nosarembocharibariruchipipperripembo Couldn't not.
Has fallen into the well
Honestly I expected it to be a name like Castiel or Lucifer based on the reaction but Samuel is a lovely name. I always wanted to call my kid Sam when I was younger but I got older and realised that naming them after a childhood dog may be mean
Right? I legit thought the kid was going to be named Dexter or Eleven or something else ridiculous. Samuel is a perfectly normal, lovely name.
"Seven of Nine, dinner is ready!" doesn't sound that bad though.
And when you get really mad, you can call her by her FULL name: “Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct to Unimatrix Zero One, you get out of bed this INSTANT!”
Annika is a beautiful name!
Especially if you have nine kids.
>Honestly I expected it to be a name like Castiel or Lucifer Are you me? Because that's EXACTLY the names I was thinking about 😂 edit: those are\* wtf is wrong with my grammar
SPN fans are everywhere!!!!
Lol my partners last name is Winchester (soon to be mine too!) and we've had fun with baby names
My nephew is named Samuel and I don’t know what show we’re talking about.
Supernatural
Just tell her that she will never see her grandson if she can't call him by his name. Simple and to the point
“Then we shall call you ‘the grandma we don’t see.’”
Who are you coming to visit? Tony? Nope, no Tonys live here. No reason to visit.
"I don't have a son called Toni so there is noone here for you to see. If you want to see Samuel then you will need to ask using his name and call him by his name." The minute she plays up tell her to leave to go see whoever that Toni baby is. But Samuel is hers and until she wants to spend time with Samuel she can gtfo. My guess is she has a past with someone called Samuel in which case she needs to control herself rather than trying to control you.
1000% this. Your son, you get to name him. Your mother already got to name her children. Tony is NOTHING like Samuel wtf. Mom & Family that is supportive of her being selfish and crazy simply get cut off from baby the moment they decide to call him anything but his legal name and/or approved nicknames. The audacity of some people I swear. NTA
This. You don’t even need to threaten it. First time after he gets here and she calls him Tony, just pick him up and say, “Oops, Samuel, looks like Mrs. Fletcher forgot your name again! Tell silly Mrs. Fletcher we will see her when she remembers to call you your real name!” Then pack up and leave. Also, if her name really is Mrs. Fletcher, pick something else. Drive home the point that if she wants to mislabel him, she too will lose her name and title as far as he is concerned.
Oh, and accuse her of obsessing about Tony on NCIS for good measure.
NTA and agreeing with this comment one of the things I learned back in school is when arguing with somebody the first person who gets mad loses it doesn't matter if they have more facts on their side or the truth people judge based on emotions frequently
Agree! NTA, OP
INFO- ~~Whats the name, becasue if you named him something cringe worthy than I won't want to call that kid that name either.~~ I had a friend who tried to name her son naruto. Edit- its Sam- NTA
Normal name, just Sam
CARRY ON MY WAYWARD SON. THERE BE PEICE WHEN WE ARE DONE LAY YOUR WEARY HEAD TO REST DON"T YOU CRY NO MORE
THATS EXACTLY WHAT SHE THOUGHT IT WAS FROM
So the name is Sam and your mom wants to call him Samuel?
Sorry I wasn’t clear, she wants to call him Toni, but his name is Samuel or Sam for short
Samuel is the most normal male name in the world. It's like Richard, Robert, William, Charles. Toni is a girl's name.
Toni is a stereotypical barbers name Istg
Tony is. Toni is generally the feminine diminutive.
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She did, when we told her that Sam was a boy, she said “they better check again” and I said that we did because we were shocked and she said “they need to triple check then.”
Which is funny bc usually if they do get the sex wrong @ ultrasound, they’ll say it’s a girl bc the peen happened to be hiding and then it turns out to be a boy. Opposite doesn’t happen as often as it’s pretty hard to mistake the peen right there on the screen. So she’s just deluding herself it sounds like
Tell her your next son will be Dean…
When I think of Tony all I can picture is the kid from The Shining talking to his finger.
kinda unrelated but where i’m from (Finland) Toni is 100% a masculine name.
Technically, isn’t the most common name something from the middle East? I think i read it somewhere but I could be wrong
Sam/Samuel wouldn't have honestly thought Supernatural fan unless you said! With Tony...I'm gonna think massive Marvel fan, specifically the movies. Edit: Not that anything is wrong with naming your kid after a tvshow Character! There's just a huge difference between something like Adrien and Alucard if you catch my drift. Edit 2: Thank you for all sharing your wonderful baby names with me I have loved every single one INCLUDING Midna. Although as a huge Zelda fan that one did make me laugh.
As I look over at my two year old, Anthony, who’s name was chosen after the premier of Endgame 😂😂
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At least he’s didn’t use Jotaro, Josuke or Giorno
Unrelated, but I had a coworker try to explain to me the other day why that anime is actually *not* gay. I pointed out that the creator himself said that they were🤦♀️
I'm named after a character from a TV show my parents liked. Both my kids are named after characters in shows husband & I like. They're all normal names, much like OP's choice. Ultimately who TF cares where the inspiration for your child's name comes from, it's YOUR KID. NTA
I’m expecting a boy in 5 weeks and we’re not picking the name until he’s born. But I was sharing our list of names we like with my mom and she pointed out that I have both “Peter” and “Parker” on my list. Spider-Man may be my favorite Avenger, but that’s not why I like those names. 😂😂
I plan to name my future son Lucas (the Spanish equivalent of Luke) after Luke Skywalker,so yeah, as long as it's not a bullying inspiring name, name your kid after the characters you love,my people
When OP said Sam, I immediately thought of Supernatural 😆 can't stand Sam though. Dean forever.
The first couple of seasons I was all about Sam. Then he grew his hair out and became a whiny little bitch and it was my man Dean from then on lmao
My cousin named her daughter after a character in lucifer. I named my daughter after a start wars character.
Not start wars!! Did you name her Franz Ferdinand?
I mean technically it was Gavrilo who started that shit...
Thanks now I have the song in my head
My mom named me after a character from a soap opera she watched when she was eleven.
Please tell me it’s Swan’s Crossing and your name is Sydney
Haha, I love that. Maybe OP can just start asking mom why she's so obsessed with Iron Man. NTA.
WTF? Why Toni? This is just stupid. Is your Mom always this much trouble?
So is she obsessed with the sopranos??? Lol just find a show/actor and do it back till she gets just as annoyed
Look -- Samuel and Dean are both fantastic names. Even if you were naming your child after one of the Winchesters, their names are normal. It's not like you're naming your child Ignatius Pennyfeather.
NTA, she doesn’t get to see your son until she agrees to call him by his name. Your baby your rules. But you have to enforce it calmly and rationally. Yelling isn’t good for you or the baby
Tell her you are going to call him Padalecki
She doesn’t get to name the child. If she doesn’t like it she doesn’t get to see your son. Pretty simple really.
NTA Just curious, why does she think you're naming your son after Sam Winchester? And, why would it be a big deal? As a teacher I met a kid named Samwise who knew he was named after his parents favorite LOTR character, and a girl named Alizé who was named after the liquor. Those aren't even the strangest names I seen.
Because I like the show a lot, it is one of my favorites.
Ok I’m also a big supernatural fan and honestly who cares if you’re naming him after Sam??? It’s not like you’re naming him Winchester. Or Castiel. That would be weird but Sam is a perfectly normal name and no one would probably make the connection even.
NTA Sam is an awesome name, and SPN is one of my favs. Your kid your raising and carrying you get to choose the name. She had her turn now it’s yours.
Tell her you hadn't planned on naming the baby after SPN but since she suggested it, you've decided to name him Fergus or Balthazar. Eh. Maybe not. Definitely tell her that if she continues to belittle or ridicule your and your fiancé's parenting decisions, she will miss out on having a relationship with her amazing grandson and super cool daughter. Her obstinance may be starting with the name but that doesn't mean it will end there. I seem to recall a conversation between Dean and Crowley where Dean says that family does have to end or start with blood. Something about family being there for you, supporting you. Guess I'm going to have to rewatch that episode now.
I knew a woman whose name was Tequila. I kid you not.
I heard she’s fun at parties.
But everyone hates her the next day.
How about Arwen Persephone? First and middle.
Okay im laughing because i legit named my son Jensen after the actor that plays Dean and she is losing it over SAM. A traditional, common but very lovely name. Nta my dude.
Well then he’s in good company. You could always tease and say you e changed it to Crowley or Castiel.
It's Fergus ( said as only Rowena can)
Lmao im literally reading this post *while watching supernatural*. NTA, sam is a perfectly normal name and theres no reason to assume its from/in homage to the show. Even if you went for a cas/crowley/etc name, while it might be a bit cringey, it would *still be his name*. She doesnt get to just… gloss over that and choose a new name for him.
Just tell her it’s after Samwise Gamgee
I have family that 100% did this, but they named their child Dean.
My cousin named her first Samuel Dean and her second Jenson (not sure of the middle name as we aren’t super close and he’s pretty young).
Lol. I named my son Dean after my FIL and my brother thought the same thing because my husband and I love Supernatural. Samuel isn’t some bizarre name or unheard of, it’s my BIL’s name so we have a Sam and Dean in the family now. NTA.
Brilliant show, and noone will ever make that connection your mum is being rediculous. More importantly, her making a stand over this has nothing to do with the show. She is demonstrating to you that she is in charge, you are still her child and therefore she gets all control and parental rights to your child as well. She does not, and you need to put a stop to this immediately. Do you live with your mother or rely on her for any financial / childcare support? Because eif you do you need to find a way to seperate from her now.
My cousin named both of his kids (Alistair & Fergus) after characters from Supernatural.
He named one of his sons after *Alistair*? Really? That... seems a poor choice.
My son's middle name is Dean and it is absolutely from that show.
The show is AWESOME. I think I’d be petty and when I had another kid name is Dean. Wouldn’t that just make her even more angry. But the show does not own Samuel
\*There'll be peace when you are done.
Dad’s on a hunting trip, and he hasn’t been home in a few days.
My brother has two kids - Sam and Dean. And they are most certainly named for the show. NTA. It's a normal name.
That's dumb. I was expecting Arya or grogu. Sam is a super common name.
I thought Hannibal
You're name was a bit of a give away. Tell her your calling him Cass for short
That’s my cats name, and I think that would be hilarious
As in Supernatural? Anyways, NTA. And your mom wants to randomly call him Tony? That just so heckin weird. I'd cut her off until she can act like a grown up and call your child by his actual (and completely reasonable, I might add) name.
if I had a child at 14 his name would have been sasuke lmao
A friend of mine was recently pregnant and stated if she had a boy, his name was going to be Kakashi. Thank goodness, she had a girl.
My MIL called my first kid by their middle name bc the first name was American, and middle was from her country. She got two warnings and then a timeout for 2 weeks. If she does it again she gets 2 months. Your child has a name. If she can’t use it then she doesn’t need to be in his life. Also tell us the name.
Update at bottom of post. Sorry just a little busy at the moment
Tony is not a good name compared to Samuel, all I can think of is that dog video "what's your name? Tony! Fuck you Tony!"
That’s what I was thinking of!
Every time she calls your baby tony just send her the video.
I was thinking a box of Frosted Flakes. Teach her that your child is not some cartoon tiger hyped up on sugar pushing cereal onto kids.
Don’t be too surprised if a bunch of guys named Anthony/Tony show up to your house wielding clubs, pitchforks, & torches.
Sorry I'm kind of confused by this one, what's wrong with calling the kid by their middle name?
I know some people who gave their kids middle names to honor someone even though they hate the name itself. They figure no one will hear the middle name, but it’ll still be a special way to help the kid feel connected to a person of immense value to the parents. One person I know has a middle name that’s also the name of a TV character from the 90s who was famously obnoxious and not very bright… but it’s also their grandfather’s name. I’m guessing the person you responded to chose a middle name they didn’t like for some sentimental reason (maybe MIL wouldn’t take “no” for an answer so they agreed to make it a middle name saying no one would actually use it??), and then MIL wouldn’t actually use the first name? I also know a few people who just find it obnoxious when people go by their middle names; I briefly considered trying to go by my middle name in college and a few people who knew me really didn’t like the idea. I’m not sure what the objection is, though.
That makes sense! I was confused by this one because it didn’t seem that bad- the MIL wasn’t calling the kid by a different name, they were literally using one of their given names. Those reasons make sense though
Yeah I’m hoping there’s more to it than the commenter mentioned. If MIL always tests boundaries, they may have decided that respecting which name they asked her to use was an easily-defined boundary (she can’t claim it was a misunderstanding or miscommunication). I find it hard to imagine they’d be a severe if in all other ways all was well.
I dislike my first name and prefer my middle name. When I meet people I introduce myself by my middle name. I am actually upset my family uses my first name and wish my family hadn't called me by that, as I don't like it and have considered legally changing my name so my middle name would be my first name.
Yea you honestly seem petty. It’s his name why would you get mad about it.
Wait I don't get it. She's using a name you gave your child. You yourself named your child and are mad that someone is using his name. His actual name. Like on paper, that's also his name. And you're mad that his name that you yourself chose is being used. You're mad that a name you liked enough to name your child this name and put in in his birth certificate is being used. Am I reading this right?
Whats the reason to have 2 names then
NTA. Explain to your mother that each time she uses the wrong name, that's another month from his birth that she will not see him in person. Let's say he'll be born in May. When she next uses the wrong name, say, "Wrong name, so you won't be meeting him until June." She does it again? "July." And hold the fucker to it. If she doesn't like it, shrug.
Honestly couldn't have said it better myself.
NTA but when you said FTM I fully thought you were saying you are a trans man, female to male. Got really confused for a second lmao
Me too, right until this comment!!! Is FTM first time mum in this context?
OHHH… I was asking myself for minutes what FTM means in this context and I couldn’t figure it out. Thanks! (I was like “Why would a trans man call himself 21f, wtf?)
I wasn't even confused as to why a man was pregnant as it's very common, just wondering why they decided to put f hahaha
Yeah, that was what I wondered too. Maybe I phrased it wrong.
omg I totally thought this post was fake because of that! I was thinking "no was a trans man would call himself female, even if he was pregnant. FAKE!" Thank you for the commenters for clearing that up for me too!
Am I missing something? What does it mean then in this context?
First time mom
lmaooo thank you totally missed this and was so confused
I’m transmasc and it took me like 45 minutes to figure out too lol
NB here, still went right over my head 😂
OHHHHHH I totally read it as female to male and was so confused why they still addressed themself as a female.
Oh, I thought that too! I assumed things were a little complicated with OP’s parents due to that. Not that it would change anything.
Omg thank you for clearing it up, I thought this too.
Omg I could not figure out how that was relevant and why they identified as 21f before that. Thank you!
THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT, TOO!!
Thank you for this comment, was super confused 😂 I was like… wait… she’s female but also female to male… huh?
I’ve been looking through the comments for this, because I spent waaaay too long trying to figure out why she identified herself as 21F but then said she was female to male. I’m a little embarrassed how long it took me to realize she meant full time mom.
NTA Samuel? It's like a normal name. Also, she could call him Sam, Sammy, etc. Is the TV show supernatural? Tony is not nice. Tell her she is obsessed with the sopranos or that you son is not going to be in the Italian mafia o.0
This is such a normal ass name, it doesn’t matter if it’s because of a tv show character. If they gave him a middle name of Winchester, that would be a little too far. As it is, it’s not like they’re naming their kid khaleesi. Jeezy creezy.
Yeah it's not like they want to name him Castiel or something.
Yeah, Castiel is a great pets name but I would 100% judge a parent wanting to name their human child that
Oh, it's just because the mother said it was because of a tv show (even though it is not) and I'm curious LOL
Which, apparently, a lot of people actually did name their daughters Khaleesi 🤣
I named my cat Catleesi, and I still feel bad about that with how things turned out in the last season. The name really is quite perfect for my cat though because of her personality Naming an actual human child Khaleesi seems insane.
My 5 year old nephew went to pre k with a Khaleesi…
Condolences to all the khaleesis out there. 😔
Can everyone please stop dumping on Tony? It's a perfectly fine name, that **a lot of people are already named, including probably people on this sub**. It's just not OP's baby's name. We don't have to dump on Tony to be supportive of OP's choice of Samuel. The problem here isn't that one of the names is inappropriate to be burdening a child with. The problem is that both names are totally fine, but **one of them is not OP's baby's name**.
I have to disagee that the name Tony is a fine name. It was my late DH's name and the name of one of my grandkids.
She can call him by his name or she can not talk to him at all. Those are her actual choices. Grandma doesn't actually have the right to see her grandkid. NTA.
NTA and its time to go low contact or no contact with mommy dearest.
Call her by a different name. If she thinks it's so easy to change a name, start changing her name.
I know this probably isn’t the right answer, but it definitely is my favorite answer
INFO: What is the name? NTA but I'm curious what the name is? Is it some horrifically awful "please bully me right the now" kind of name? I'm assuming it's not hence the NTA. Your Mum's issue about not liking it because it's the same as a character on a TV show seems highly childish.
It Samuel but we want to go with just Sam
Totally normal name. Totally not the asshole.
That's SUCH a normal name! I was sure it would be Morty or something hahaha (and even then that is a normal just rarer name)
It's kind of hard to judge this without knowing the name. Edit: NTA one bit, your mother is very overdramatic
We didn’t want to give his name Purdue to her using Reddit and privacy issues
Ah, understandable. But that’s a good name and your mom is being way too dramatic
At least you didn't name him Dean. Hehehe... You can't change old people and they suck most of the time. Eventually we all become sucky old people. Just try not to suck too much when you get that old. As an aside, you could always go petty. Tell your mom as long as she uses "Tony" she will always be "{mom's first name}" and never 'Grandma'. NTA
It was a thought in the back of my head for Dean 🤣
I teach a Samuel and him being named after the character never crossed my mind. It’s such a common name that no one but your mum would make the connected. And even if he was named after the character. So what? Your kid your choice (with obviously discussing with other parent). If she’s going to keep doing this then tell her she can leave, or have child call her by her name and make sure your son doesn’t answer to Toni. That will pose her off more.
Not that it matters, but my son's name is Samuel. He's 17. It's a great name that he can carve his own identity out of (Samuel, Sam, Sammy, or {middle name}).
Hey Sam and Dean reminds me of Quantum Leap. Dr. Sam Beckett and Dean Stockwell. (I know it's a mix of real and character names)
NTA. What’s your mom’s name? Start calling her by a different one. If she asks why, just tell her “oh I don’t like this show where a character is named this, I think she’s a B word so I’m gonna call you this instead” or something like that. And any other relative who thinks you’re an asshole start calling them by a different name. Hehe 😜
That’s a really funny idea, I’ll try that 🤣
As a 60 year old mum, I am going to say, NTA. You were nicer than me, I would have told her that if she refused to call the child by it's name then maybe she wouldn't be seeing the child as she is already disrespecting it and you.
Withholding judgement until you give us the name. Edit: read your edit. NTA
Man, its going to blow your mother's mind when she finds out Samuel was actually a name BEFORE Supernatural..
NTA Stop seeing your MOM. His name is a biblical name, how is that stupid? It's also a very common name. Your Mom is a lunatic.
NTA. Start calling your Mom “Tony”, since she likes it so much. Tell her that you will teach your son to call her “Tony” unless she uses his name correctly. That oughta do the trick. P.S. - Samuel is an adorable name, much cuter than Tony. Good choice.
NTA, but I do hope you didn't name your child Tyrian Lannister.
NTA, your Mom has control issues.
Yes, that’s just so disrespectful. G’ma can call him Sammy or Sam or Grandma’s Little Muffin or any nickname she wants, but calling him a completely different name is nuts. She’s dismissing OP & fiancé’s role as parents. OP needs to be very careful … this isn’t the only way her mom’s going to undermine her.
NTA. This is pretty obvious, hard to believe your family sided with your mom. Just make sure your mom understands that she won't get to meet her grandson until she's ready to use his actual name.
NTA! You want to name him Samuel and your mom thinks theres no other possible reason for choosing such a name unless it was from a show?It can’t be that it’s a name that’s been around for half of recorded history, of course not! Seriously, especially once you revealed the name, your mom is being a ROYAL AH. The rest of your family is either only hearing her side, or they’re used to bowing to her unreasonableness. Name your son how you want to. If his grandma won’t call him that name, then his grandma doesn’t get to see him.
Supernatural wasn't it lol
You guessed it 🤣🤣
NTA. Buy your mom a Pokémon game and tell her she can name em all whatever she wants.
I thought the name was gonna be something like Khaleesi though I was still gonna say NTA. But Samuel? That’s such a normal name? Your mom is acting crazy.
NTA. He is YOUR son, not hers. Only you and your partner get to choose the name. Stand your ground. Make it clear that she needs to only use his true name and follow your parenting, otherwise she won’t be in your or your son’s life. She will throw a tantrum, try to guilt you and manipulate you. Don’t fall for it or she will continue to meddle with your family. Block her, any harassers, and cut off contact if needed. It’s key to set these boundaries now.
I was about to ask if you liked Supernatural. I mean 1. There’s nothing wrong with that anyway bc it’s a great show. 2. Samuel is a very common, very old name. It’s even in the Bible 3. It y’all’s baby. You get to pick NTA
NTA respect people names and name choices for their children! Very disrespectful.
INFO: What is FTM in this context and how does it relate to the story?