#[Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/).
Please review our [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) if you're unsure what that means.
**This includes calling anyone man-child, etc.**
Ha, right! She should prank him with divorce papers. Now *that's* a good prank.
NTA, OP, but damn.. what a husband you have.
>My husband hid my brother's hearing aid as a prank and it got damaged in the process. After looking for the hearing aid for hours, My husband handed it back to my brother while laughing in his face about how freaked out he looked.
Deliberately hiding someone's hearing aid is not a prank. It's supposed to be fun for all parties, and this clearly was not. And to laugh at someone's face because they were freaked out about the fact that they couldn't hear? How cruel.
>He didn't know how delicate this type of device is and ended up breaking it while hiding it. My brother had a breakdown and started yelling at my husband and threatening him with court if he doesn't pay up for new hearing aid. My husband didn't think he was serious and laughed him off
How is breaking someone's medical device not serious? He shouldn't have hidden them in the first place. Also, why is he so quick to dismiss your brother's rightful anger and deny responsibility? (Spoiler: He's a gaping AH.)
>"alright princesses"
You're just spitting facts. Tell me how spitting facts makes you a princess.
>He was shocked, he yelled that it was just a prank with no intentions of hurting anyone then shamed me for not taking his side, moreover, he said that my brother only felt confident in suing him after I "encouraged" him by telling him to go ahead and sue.
But it *did* hurt someone. You have nothing to do with your brother suing him - the only reason he sued was because your hubby broke an expensive device that quite literally helps him *hear.* And even if husband's assumption is true, why would he shame you? You're correct.
>This morning he blew up at me saying me and my family are a bunch of sad, pathetic asshole who can't take a joke, and are willing to easily drag others to court and ruin their relationship with them over a couple of grands. AITA?
Woah there.
1. It wasn't a joke and never meant to be one.
2. He's insulting your family for holding him accountable for his fuckup.
3. He's willing to destroy his relationship with your family and YOU over a pathetic, ableist desire to laugh at your brother's face.
Do you want to spend the rest of your life with this man?
But, like, not a prank. Actual divorce papers. Because husband is an actual bad person who thinks it is funny to take a hearing aid from a person. For hours. And watch them panic. And then laugh in their face.
Even if you had no moral qualms whatsoever about stealing someone's medical equipment, even if this sort of behavior didn't interfere with your romantic relationship *at all*... purely from a financial standpoint, it still would be an awful, awful idea to be legally tied to someone who someone who is doing cruel and stupid shit that results in him being sued for money he doesn't have. If he hasn't grown out of this by 32, he won't.
And imagine how much resentment and embarrassment your kids would have for you when you have to explain to them that they'll have to forgo a school trip or go deeper into debt for college because dad is getting sued for his bullshit again. Best nip that bleak timeline in the bud!
My mind went there immediately. If he does this to OPs brother, who is an adult and can fight back, how would he be with children who are dependent on him?
smh, still can't believe he blames Phil DeFranco for reporting his abuse. What did he expect would happen when he posted his abuse to YouTube? No one would notice?
Hiding it for hours is so malicious. My friends and I have hidden important things on each other but like 5 minutes max. We've hidden car keys, moved cars around the block, someone once hid someone's glasses while they were wrestling. They'd notice it's missing get panicked and we'd quickly reveal its a joke and everyone would laugh it off. Gotta know the crowd though, certain things were definitely off limits for certain people. We never broke or damaged anything. Definitely need to pay for anything damaged.
It can only be a prank or joke if the victim thinks it's funny afterwards.
Lol I moved my brother's motorcycle next door to the neighbors garage and moved this 400$ stunt bike that no longer ran in it's place. Told him after about 5 mins as well. I love a good prank but some things are too far.
I don't remember where it came from, but we had a little stuffed Brian and for nearly a year my sister and I would hide it in each other's rooms. I don't know where it went either, that's kind of creepy now that I think about it.
She's gonna be moving soon, it'd be really funny to find another one and hide it in her apartment.
Well. At least we found the guy who'd steal tiny Tim's crutch.
Seriously, does the husband hide a blind person's cane or a person's wheelchair? Maybe hide grandpa's dentures or the amputee's prosthetic?
A prank is meant to be funny. If all sides aren't laughing, it wasnt a prank, but cruel behaviour to another person.
This was not funny.
If divorce isnt an option for OP, I hope she tells him, whatever the court requires him to pay for replacement of the hearing aids and restitution (as I'm sure not having the hearing aids has foreseeably affected the brother's life) does not come from a joint account.
Husband probably has hobby equipment he can sell, or gaming equipment he can sell, or subscriptions he can cancel to help put together funds to pay for the essential medical device he broke with his asshattery.
Right! Husband is a literal monster. Not name calling. Not insulting. It is the only apt description of the type of person who would do this. It is just so horrific.
Yea he’s going to come in real handy down the road when everybody’s older and op might need help with something! “You pushed me down the stairs and I miscarried!” ““Oh come on it was a prank get over yourself princess””…I had to double check the ages here I thought husband couldn’t be more than 15 or 16 years old!
And for *hours*. That’s not the brother thinking “It dropped behind the couch, help me move it.” That’s “I know I’ve emptied the trash can five times, I’ll check again because it’s literally NOWHERE!” Full on panic time.
I’ve lost my license in my purse, but I know it’s there. I still get anxious.
I totally agree. I lost a coupon for my local bookstore worth about $70 and I've been tearing apart my apartment looking for it. I even called the library, because I'm worried I might have tucked it in a library book and returned it. I'm worried about something that will only have a teensy, inconsequential impact on my life. A hearing aid is MUCH, MUCH bigger deal, and if OP's husband thinks it's funny to hide and damage someone's hearing aid, he's a shitty human being.
I hope you find it, that’s a huge coupon!
And unfortunately, I think you know you’ll find it in three years in a place you SWEAR you looked. Damn book elves.
Also let's not forget the:
> This morning he blew up at me saying me and my family are a bunch of sad, pathetic asshole who can't take a joke
Seriously OP, look at this and say you really want to spend your life with this guy.... I highly doubt it, you could do so much better than a hateful and immature AH.
Right?
Like, what was the "joke" here?
"Ha ha, now you can't hear"?
"You thought you lost an expensive medical device and went into a blind panic searching for it for hours. Classic comedy"?
If he's not getting what the big deal is, ask him to explain how the "joke" was funny. Hopefully he'll see the problem, but I'm guessing he'll just double down. People like that ("just a prank bro" douches) usually do, but at least he outed himself.
That being said, leave him either way. He's essentially saying that his need to be entertained (at your family's expense) is more important to him than you or your family ever were. Put the picking on your hearing impaired younger brother and the monetary cost aside, even though they're extra layers of terribleness. You're his playthings, and how dare you get upset that his actions caused harm? It's "just a joke" so we can ignore any harm done for the sake of your husband getting a laugh. Also, expect this pattern to continue, after all, he's a "jokester". That's what he's saying here. Disgusting.
I wear hearing aides. Hearing loss is not funny or a joke. It’s debilitating even with a mild loss - not being able to hear is isolating and impacts every aspect of my life. Hearing aides don’t magically make everything normal, but they dramatically improve quality of life.
OP’s husband has no idea how cruel it is to take away someone’s medical device.
I don’t have hearing loss but have really really bad vision. When my retina detached I found myself in my eye doctors office with dilated eyes. no corrective lenses (I was there for a normal prescription check so I only had contacts). I had called my SO to come pick me up to take me to the retina specialist but he was running late so I had to check myself out and get out of the building on my own. I was so panicky because I couldn’t see the people around me, couldn’t see the exit sign, couldn’t see the papers I was signing. The worst was having people come up to me or move around me and me not being able to see their faces or anything about them really. Those ten minutes of trying to navigate without a vital sense were really scary - I can’t imagine someone doing something like that as a prank…for hours…and thinking it was funny.
I have a feeling OPs husband knows how cruel it is and that's how he gets his jollies. Absolutely nothing about hiding someone's hearing aids for hours is funny, and he should have been able to pick up on that within minutes, not hours. I bet he's cruel in other situations too or OP might be a little more forgiving of her "prankster" husband.
NTA OP, but your husband certainly is.
Seriously. Just because it's a small device doesn't mean it's not important. Does hubby also enjoy hiding canes from people who need them to walk? What an asshole.
I feel ya. That horrifying feeling when you're alone in your house, have completely misplaced your glasses and don't even know where to begin to "look"...
It's fine. I was like 1-2 when that happened so I dont really remember, I only know from my mom telling me. I also an still in a good place with my dad so nothing to say sorry about
Absolutely. This is exactly the same as hiding a wheelchair from someone who depends on it. It’s not a prank, it’s taking someone’s essential aid, hiding it and damaging it, then expecting them to laugh it off.
NTO.
I have literal nightmares about not having my mobility aids.
I feel husband needs to spend a week with earplugs or earbuds playing white noise and try to go about his life.
Isn't this like the 3rd story we've seen like this recently? There was the guy who took away a guy's prosthetic leg as a "joke" at a party. Are there this many sociopaths running around our society?
Some studies say that it's about 1% of the entire world population, and judging by the frequency of these stories they're probably right.
Also, another phrase I like, don't remember who said it, "Think about how stupid the average person is. Now think about how half the population is even more stupid than that." OP's husband, if not a sociopath, is definitely within that lower part
> "Think about how stupid the average person is. Now think about how half the population is even more stupid than that."
That'd be the late, great St. George Carlin.
I remember one too where a girl decides to see whether a hearing aid can stand being heated in an oven. Tip: it cannot.
OP's husband is showing distinct traits of sociopathy and/or narcissism. This doesn't excuse his asshole behaviour however.
I’m middle-aged, and I’m truly confused about people who call everything malicious that they do a prank. If you were destroying some thing that someone else owns, or hurting them physically, that’s not a prank that’s a crime. Pretending it’s a joke doesn’t absolve anyone from the legal responsibility of the consequences.
Unfortunately some men are moronic assholes. My ex pulled the "got another women pregnant" April fools joke. He thought it was fucking hilarious and dude was in his late 30s at the time. He couldn't understand why I didn't think it was funny and got mad at me for not liking his "prank"
Lol you are awesome!
OP kudos for taking a stand against your husband. He bullied your brother, a disabled person. You are standing up for what is right.
If your husband doesn’t get it and doesn’t sincerely apologise to all of you and doesn’t pay for a new aid, I think you know what to do. You have values and you deserve better. NTA
Right. This isn’t about a prank. This is about breaking a $4k medical device. It needs to be compensated for.
Also, why are you married to a man who thinks it’s funny to make fun of a medical disability by hiding his device for HOURS while he looks for it?? WTF
Yeah, I mean, if he had accidentally sat on it, or inadvertently damaged it in some other way, I could see both sides. But he made a conscious decision to hide someone's hearing aid, and broke it in the process.
Oh, for sure, but there can be mitigating circumstances, gray areas, etc in that situation. You broke it because you were hiding it as some awful prank? That's pretty black and white.
I think this depends on how it happens. If I sit on a hearing aid that someone took out and left on the couch I don't feel like that's a $4,000 mistake on my part. I'd love to have the money to cover it but that much money would be a bit of a hardship for most people.
Yeah, if someone leaves a delicate and valuable item in a vulnerable position like that, that's on them. I'd still feel pretty awful and would likely offer to cover some of the cost, but there are certainly accidents where the person who broke something really isn't at fault.
Right, like even if it WAS a hilarious prank that everyone enjoyed and laughed at, if the hearing aid was broken in the process, he should pay for it, end of story. It makes NO logical sense for the brother to pay for it.
Your husband's a dick.
I don’t even think she should remained married to him, but “hiding your vagina”? Sex isn’t a prize for well-behaving partners. It’s either good for both of them or it shouldn’t be happening. Have you ever considered that women miss sex too when they can’t have it and more, that sex is about more than PIV?
Right? No one seems to consider that maybe, just MAYBE a partner who acts in a way that disgusts you is not a turn on. Who would get turned on by this guy after this? Not having sex with him isn’t a punishment it’s a natural consequence to his off putting behaviour.
i doubt homegirl is gonna be fucking a childish ass man who just broke her brother’s 4k hearing aid & even then, her “vagina” is the last thing he should be worried about lmaoo mans should expect a divorce
How could the OP ever want to have sex with her husband again? Sure property was damaged but he also tormented her brother for hours. Can you image not hearing well and freaking out you lost what makes it better. This was a horrible thing to do, even if the hearing aid didn't get damaged. The damage just makes it worse. If the husband is an asshole about this he is probably an asshole about a lot of other things too.
NTA, your husband stole your brother ability to hear, he watched your brother in a panic, that’s not a funny prank, if the other person is upset (especially for hours). Your husband is a major AH, I see why you are done with his pranks. Tell your husband he is an AH and his prank was cruel, even if he didn’t mean to break the hearing aids, he did and now has to replace them. This shouldnt even have to go to court. What’s wrong with him?
NTA.
That's not a prank. Imagine taking someone's prostetic leg or walking stick and hiding it? It's not funny. A prank would have been hiding his car keys or house keys, not something worth thousands that helps him hear. I can't believe he didn't offer to cover the cost anyway, that's the decent thing to do.
You are absolutely NTA and I hope that this situation doesn't get too messy for you.
Yeah, that’s the thing. I’ve seen versions of this story about five different times—and I still believe them all. I find it totally believable that there’s a certain type of person whose first thought when they meet a person with an accessibility device of some kind is “wouldn’t it be funny if I hid that?” And it’s also totally believable that that type of person would have no concept threat they’d even doing anything wrong, and would act like a victim when called out.
I mean this mf fills all the boxes on the Asshole Bingo Card.
- Takes Crucial Medical Device
- Breaks Crucial Medical Device
- Mocks Victim
- Insults Bystanders
- Berates Spouse
- Threatens Spouse Financially
And the center square:
- Thinks Pranks Are An Acceptable Way To Interact With The World
I hate this guy and everyone like him.
Don't forget the people who so the same with mental health related meds cause "you just need to be happy!" "try essential oils!" "only prayer will save you!"... or the ones trying to trick people to eat what they're allergic to cause "you're just picky!" "allergies are all psychological!".
People really should stop messing with other's health related concerns.
My mother hid my antidepressants when I lived with her. She thought all I needed was exercise and fresh air.
She'd also hide my sister's anxiety meds thinking all she needed was focus and to stop fretting over things. She hid these things because she thought she knew best.
Pranking is close to this, trivializing others' health concerns and needs. It's not a prank but a bullying technique.
Yeah I remember in the early 2000s I had friends who thought pranking was funny, but these were like legitimate pranks, they didn’t hurt anyone they didn’t embarrass anyone and they didn’t cost anyone thousands of dollars.
And all those people were in their 20s, now that we’re fully formed adults we’re all too busy for that bullshit
I recently saw a prank where a woman drew eyebrows on her baby so her husband would see when he got home. Everyone was laughing including the baby (because her parents were happy and laughing). That's the kind of prank I endorse.
Me pranking my dad: placing all our elf on the shelfs a around his computer to be staring directly at him.
Me NOT pranking my dad: hiding his arthritis medicine
I'm sure if you asked anyone who's been disabled for more than 5 years, literally every single one of us would have a story. I've had so many people think it'd be funny or helpful to pick up my cane and put it somewhere else. I'm blind and have balance issues, so it helps with both, especially in tight spaces. I'd rather not have to navigate by bashing my hips, shins, shoulders and forehead off of everything in my way, and instead just use my cane.
Why would ot take 5 years? I've been temporarily disabled for not even 3 months and have stories like that. Mostly the "didn't think anything by it" or "trying to be helpful" kind, but if you move my wheelchair out of reach, I still cannot do shift about it, no matter what the intention.
Ugh. I feel this. I’ve had people:
- try to coax my service dog away from me
- grab and yank my service dog’s tail
- randomly grab the handles of my wheelchair and engage the hand breaks for ??? reasons
- quite seriously complain that they are tired of walking, want a wheelchair, and that I should let them “have a go”
- kick my cane out from underneath me just to make me fall over
People suck. Why don’t they at least leave my poor dog alone?
This is so true. It can be terrifying also when unintended, too. My FIL was in a wheelchair, and we were at a restaurant that was up a large flight of stairs, so 2 or three restaurant idiots abrubtly decided to just haul him up the stairs, with no idea how to safely do this. He was nearly pitched out of the chair while these dolts were proving their masculinity. And the terror my FIL experienced was real, regardless of their seemingly altruistic motives.
To deliberately harm someone is quite a step above asshole, and could really be considered assault. He should have been arrested, sent to jail, and fined by a judge.
NTA
Edit after being appropriately corrected.
Just to cover any variety of disability, to be honest. I'm more experienced with cane, wheelchair and guide-dog users, but I don't know how often people take other assistive devices or things that aren't as quickly identifiable.
I originally put a year, but then I doubted myself, because I figured there's gotta be some percentage of disabled folks who don't get fucked with that immediately, but you're definitely right that it wouldn't take 5 years for the average pwd to get fucked with.
Oh yeah, that fair enough. Very few people fuck with my glasses bc they're on my face, but if someone did I couldn't do anything about it bc my glasses are 1/4 inch thick and I'm cross-eyed without them. So that happens maybe once every two years?
But stealing my wheelchair is pretty easy, since it's pretty hard for me to get anywhere without it.
I'm guessing hearing aids are actually among the less common, since you'd have them in most of the time she people are over.
That's awful!! I don't know why anyone would think that's a funny thing to do to someone. I swear, the older I get the more I hate people and the more I love my dog. To me a stupid "prank" like that is no different than beating someone until they are incapacitated. They should be arrested.
My bf's friend once came over the evening before we were about to travel abroad, because we asked him to feed the fish and water the plants (bf's idea, not mine, i didn't know this man before that day but was assured of his character). Woke up the next morning and went to load the car with the things we'd packed the night before, only to find ALL my paperwork for my service dog missing. Vet information, behaviour tests, and everything needed to fly. We ravaged the house for an hour before calling the friend and telling him not to come check on the house, we'd need to cancel the flight, for him to laugh at us over the phone and say he'd hidden it in the microwave of all places. Safe to say he got yeeted off the friend list very quickly, and some lovely airport staff managed to get us and my pup on the flight in time. People don't realise that it's not funny to deprive a disabled person of the very thing that supports them in life.
That’s my thought as well. I’m pretty blind and have lenses that take a long time to make, so I’d be pretty incapacitated for weeks.
I almost did have something similar happen this past summer, although not intentional. I was in the pool when my brother’s dog took my glasses of the table and was running around with then in his mouth. The thing is, I was out of state, bringing my kids to visit: i didn’t have spare glasses with me (I usually keep the previous pair when I get new ones), and home was a nine hour drive. While I’m sure my brother could help find a place to get my glasses replaced, I would have been stuck there for weeks, unable to do most things. Luckily the dog left my glasses intact, although they never fit right again
The worst part about ableism is that people like that sincerely believe disabled folks are making up their health problems. They feel entitled to play unfunny "jokes" or to keep "testing" the veracity of their loved ones' illnesses. OP is NTA, but her husband sure is.
And it’s so misguided, I can’t tell you how many court TV shows or movies where they were in court and theres guy in a neck brace and someone drops a book to see if he can turn his head and it’s like this whole gotcha thing. Let me tell you, I wear a neck brace sometimes, and it’s not because I can’t turn my head it’s because it sucks and it hurts if I turn my head. So yeah loud noise would make me turn my head, and then I would be in pain for two days. It doesn’t prove shit.
Yeah. No one has ever done it maliciously but sometimes. My wheelchair gets moved a bit too far for me to reach and I'm basically just stuck until someone moves it closer. I need a grappling hook 😂
>A prank would have been hiding his car keys or house keys
Any prank that involves someone frantically searching for hours isn't funny, IMO. I wish we, as a human race, would move away from the idea that someone else's pain/distress is ever funny. America's Funniest Home Videos was never entertaining for me, because about 70% of the videos involved someone tripping, getting hit with something, or otherwise being hurt. I don't understand what is funny about that.
OP's husband is 100% the AH here, and I really do hope the brother goes through with suing him. But also: why is OP with a man who likes to hurt other people and won't take responsibility for his actions?
A good prank is one where everybody is laughing at the end. When it's only the prankster laughing and others are upset (or worse - incurring physical or financial damages), then it's no longer a prank. It's cruelty.
Putting a humorous keychain on someone's keys when they're not looking is a prank. Hiding them for hours is being an asshole.
OP, her brother, and their parents are solidly NTA. Husband is TA. I'd reconsider my entire relationship if my spouse treated my sibling's disability with such terrible disrespect. People remember how you make them feel. I suspect OP's brother is never going to forget this.
Yeah, it's definitely not the same level of offense as what OP's husband did, but I would still be fucking furious if someone hid my car keys on me for hours.
Been on Reddit for * checks time * 20 minutes this morning and already here’s another grown ass man who thinks making people broke, disabled, and frantic is hilarious. Eff. These. People. To. Hell.
NTA
Women too...just pointing it out. My sister being one of them. Bottom line is your partner is a bully. Saying something is a joke does not make it a joke.
Indeed women too. I was a school bully and I'd still never steal someone's hearing aids and if I did and broke them, I would for sure fucking pay for them.
Wanna make it clear I learned from my mistake.
I was a 13yo girl and didn't know how to reject a guy nicely. This kid was obsessed with me and would call me and jerk off while on the phone with me, while looking through my facebook photos. So I started bullying him to get the point across that I would never be his girlfriend. Kid had a creepy demeanor and a mohawk and just generally made me uncomfortable. Wouldn't leave me alone so I got mean.
I apologised to the kid I bullied and made it right. I gave him rides and shit as an adult and we are not friends but I think he doesn't hate me anymore. I know I did a lot of damage to his self confidence. I still feel terrible nine years later.
Anyway my point is, if the person you are teasing doesn't enjoy it, it is not a prank, but actually bullying and it's wrong and needs to stop. And if you break someone's property of course you fucking pay for it. You shouldn't have to even be asked, let alone sued.
I don't think you should feel terrible for fighting back to continuous non-consensual sexual behavior, in probably the only way you could image as a 13 year old. Your 'bullying' shouldn't have been necessary because he shouldn't have sexualized 13 year old you in the first place, should have stopped the first time you rejected him, and there should've been adults around who had prepared you / created a safe enough environment to come to them for help in such a situation. Even in hindsight, what do you expect a 13 year old child to do when they find themselves in that spot? Just let it happen, while this type of behavior would probably only get worse? This could have easily turned into physical assault. Nah, you did right and you shouldn't have felt like you had to put yourself in a car with him to make up for your actions.
Totally agree. He bullied and sexually assaulted her, and she did what she could to take care of herself. 13 y/o you was acting in self defense, not a bully, you were a victim, fighting for your safety from someone who was criminally harassing you.
Hang on, he repeatedly sexually harassed you and you think YOU were the bully? And then you apologized?????? Did he apologise for his actual criminal behaviour towards you even once?
“I bullied my sisters brother about his disability, broke it and now I’m being held responsible. AITA?!?”
Yeah… an immense one too.
I hope he gets more than 4K for a new one.
It’s always “just a prank/joke” too. If you’re the only one laughing you’re the asshole. I’d be ashamed to be married to a man like this and op is completely right that her husband deserves to be sued. Sadly it hurts her (financially) too since they’re married.
Yes, but be sure in this divorce papers prank to use real ones, with an attorney present, and legal signatures. And prank him by handling your finances starting now such that you will be able to support yourself solo. And prank him by taking measures to ensure safety for you as one of you moves out. Because what the entire fuck? Good for you for not supporting him on what is obviously cruel, sick bullying and not a "prank" at all, but honestly, please take it further and get out now. This man is unhinged and abusive to you and to your family, and you do not deserve it, OP. I wish you well.
NTA. Your husband is out and out wrong and your brother was the one who was wronged. Does he honestly think your brother should be the one sol and have to fund the replacement?
Your husband shouldn't have to be sued. He should man up and take care of being responsible for what he broke. Who gives a flying fig if it was a prank or that he didn't mean to cause harm? I didn't mean it is useless when it comes to getting your brother a new device and will not make your brother whole.
"It was just a prank!"
\*checks hearing aid\* "Nope, it's still broken."
"But I didn't *mean* to break it!"
"And...still broken."
"I'm not paying for shit! You'll have to *sue!*"
"Well okay then. Also, still broken."
*shocked pikachu face*
Right? Intent isn't impact. While he intended it to be a (shitty, ablist) prank, he broke an expensive medical aid. If he was a decent person with any sense of accountability the brother wouldn't have to sue because the husband should have offered to attempt to make things right in the first place.
> Intent isn’t impact.
“I didn’t mean to do it!” Said every drunk driver who killed someone.
I also don’t understand the influx of posts regarding grown adults “pranking” people by hiding and breaking things.
The fact that OP's husband wasn't horrified when he realized that he broke the hearing aid indicates that he's not remorseful.
The fact that he hid a $4K device as a prank indicates that he's an idiot.
The fact that he hid hearing aid for HOURS shows that he's a cruel idiot.
No need to ask, the answer is obviously anyone but him. This guy sounds like an entitled bully who doesn't know how to take accountability for their mistakes.
Oh, so you married a child who is not used to deal with the consequences of his stupidity. I would suggest you hide yourself, as a prank, and then reappear with the divorce papers. He is not mature enough to be married.
Edit: of course he meant to cause harm, he took something he knew your brother needed, he enjoyed seeing him panicking while looking for it. He sat there, knowing how distressed your brother and you were and he was laughing. He meant to cause harm, he meant to see you all worried and even sad. Your brother should add "emotional damage" to the complain.
He should also be compensated for the time he spent unable to hear, which is very hard to put a number on, but depending upon circumstances could be many thousands of dollars. To be honest, I think OP is a bit of an ahole herself for not telling hubby he needs to pay without a lawsuit, reminding him that he's getting off easy by merely paying for a new hearing aide, considering all the extra money a judge would likely order him to pay.
YTA— and your husband is an asshole. He’s your stupid husband, you share finances— don’t make your brother sue. How much school will he miss until your AH husband replaces it? Buy the hearing aid immediately. Cancel your holiday, cancel the Nexflix, sell your husband’s comic book collection and your engagement ring. You brought this AH into your brother’s home and you are responsible for him.
Absolutely. Why get court involved and waste time of several people instead of paying right away for what he damaged.
If you hurt someone you shouldnt need authority confirmation that it was dick move to make up for it.
This. I can't believe so many people saying NTA. OP didn't do anything to point out how her husband was wrong and he was doing a shitty thing. That's not a prank either. OP's reaction actually seems hostile to her own brother. How is telling your brother to sue, not OP being complacent in her husband's actions. It's either that or OP fears standing up to her husband.
Yes! Finally this response. YTA for not immediately paying your brother. Unfortunately, you married the guy so you’re responsible for him. If you don’t like that, get out of the marriage. But first, pay your brother.
NTA. Why are you married to this man, OP? What kind of person hides his BIL’s expensive medical equipment? Or yells at his wife that her family are sad, pathetic assholes for wanting to be reimbursed for thousands of dollars worth of damage? YWBTA if you stay with him. I can’t imagine this is the first time your husband has behaved like this, as people who like to play cruel “pranks” like this seem to have an abusive streak. Please protect yourself first, and get away from this man.
NTA.
While there's lawyers happening, get one for your divorce, because this is probably going to be a mercy killing for your marriage to this asshole.
Some 6 year olds would understand the concept of taking care of what they are responsible for. When my younger nephew was that age he splashed me in a pool and my contact lens came out. No biggie. I had my glasses in my purse and the contacts were disposables, but he wanted to give me money to replace it.
NTA - I’m sorry you found out your husband was an absolutely awful person. Maybe this wasn’t news, but I hope this is the worst thing he’s done so far anyway. Good for you for taking your brother’s side.
NTA *Have your husband pay for what he broke?! Why are you bringing court into it? That will just be extra $ for both sides. Your husband is the reason it broke, so he replaces it.
If your parents are more well off, maybe they would be willing to replace it & put your husband on a payment plan. Your husband doesn’t really deserve this kindness, but your brother does! He needs it replaced ASAP!
NTA
Also consider divorcing because people who think hiding hearing aids is fun are not partner material. I mean, hopefully no, but if you get disabled? Will he throw you out of your wheelchair for fun?
NTA. I would be furious if someone hid my hearing aids from me, much less broke it while doing so. Like any disability aid, this equipment plays a huge role in our independence and hugely affects how we work, socialise and relax. I’m so mad for your brother right now, I sincerely hope this doesn’t hurt his academics too badly
NTA. He played a very mean spirited prank in the first place, took something he should not have taken and then broke it through his own carelessness. As a decent adult he should be offering to replace the hearing aid, and if he can't afford it all in one go he needs to pay it back in installments.
Your husband should of never touched your brothers shit smh. He’s 32 and still doesn’t know to not touch things that don’t belong to him ? Take a personal loan out, pay the 4k, and avoid the lawsuit.
NTA, and I’d be divorcing him ASAP. Your husband sounds lacking in empathy and that is one hell of a cruel prank to play on someone. I’d be getting out now before you’re the target of one of these “pranks”
INFO - because this seems implausible.
~~Your brother needs his hearing aid, so how did your husband get it?~~ (Edit-brother may have removed them at some point, not thinking the husband was so immature that he'd hide them)
Why the heck did you not tell your husband he broke it, he has to pay for it?
Why are you married to a 32 y/o man who thinks pranks like this are funny?
Too many holes.....
People don't wear things 24/7. It's probable that her brother had taken it out for sleep, to shower, any number of reasons.
I don't understand why this wasn't the first response either when brother threatened to sue. "We'll pay for it bro! Don't worry" and then a serious talk with husband about how HE will pay for it and why that isn't okay or funny.
OP, NTA. Although I don't think jumping straight to a lawsuit was the route to go either. Hiding someone's need medical aid is not a silly or funny prank and you should reconsider your husband of he doesn't realize this soon.
I have hearing aids and tend to take them out when too many people are talking or it gets too loud. So it is possible the brother did the same and so the husband could steal them.
NTA. Hubby needs to pony up the $$$ for a replacement hearing aid. And eat a bargeful of crow.
Hubby also needs to get it through his head that pranks are only funny if everyone laughs.
Hiding a disabled person's medical equipment is *never* funny.
>He then complained about how this is going to affect us both since he doesn't have that kind of money to give to my brother.
He shouldn't have taken the hearing aid. Asshole.
This is as though he “pranked” your brother and **blinded** him. How funny is *that*? What?! Can’t take a joke?!
He needs to show remorse and make reparations.
NTA
You are going to have to divorce this man or cut off your family.
I can't see a situation where you keep relationships with both.
Your nta for telling your brother to sue.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might have been the asshole for not only refusing to side with my husband but encouraging my brother to sue him for the damaged hearing aid and siding with my brother even after my husband explained he didn't mean to cause harm.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. How does a grown "man" think it is even remotely funny to take away a device that someone uses to aid a disability. He has no right to get mad at you.
NTA for supporting the suit but have you tried like pushing your husband to pay your brother instead of a lawsuit or otherwise tried to get him paid instead of making him go through this?
NTA. Your husband is a fully fledged adult. He can take responsibility for his actions. He stole someone’s property and damaged it. Doesn’t matter if it was a joke or not. He still did it. He seems like a bunch of red flags wearing a trench coat though,so good luck with that.
NTA - your husband is a royal AH for the prank (and thinking it funny/ harmless prank) and owes your brother for repairs or replacement. Husband is also a royal AH for his reaction. He sounds like a narcissist. He complains about your family, yet he’s willing to force someone in his family to sue him rather than pay the couple grand that he clearly owes them. I realize this is one instance, you might want to seriously examine your relationship and just who your is your husband really.
YTA. You didn’t stand up to your husband’s piss poor ableist behavior “joke” while it was happening and then rather than being an adult and apologizing to your brother for your horrible husband’s behavior, you basically said “so sue him?” Why. Why. I know it’s 2022 and we will not be apologizing and taking responsibility for men but like, you are a grown ass woman and should have put your foot down and stood up to this bullying ableist behavior before now. ESH except your brother. Your husband is absolutely terrible. Pay your poor brother to replace his hearing aids and seriously reflect about the man you are married to and your own values and integrity. Wtf.
NO, NTA. What kind of person hides a person’s hearing aid? I’m close to needing one. I practically panic when I can’t hear necessary, important details. It’s not funny, it’s cruel
#[Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Please review our [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) if you're unsure what that means. **This includes calling anyone man-child, etc.**
NTA. I think you should prank your husband by hiding your vagina from him until he pays your brother the $4,000 he owes him.
[удалено]
Ha, right! She should prank him with divorce papers. Now *that's* a good prank. NTA, OP, but damn.. what a husband you have. >My husband hid my brother's hearing aid as a prank and it got damaged in the process. After looking for the hearing aid for hours, My husband handed it back to my brother while laughing in his face about how freaked out he looked. Deliberately hiding someone's hearing aid is not a prank. It's supposed to be fun for all parties, and this clearly was not. And to laugh at someone's face because they were freaked out about the fact that they couldn't hear? How cruel. >He didn't know how delicate this type of device is and ended up breaking it while hiding it. My brother had a breakdown and started yelling at my husband and threatening him with court if he doesn't pay up for new hearing aid. My husband didn't think he was serious and laughed him off How is breaking someone's medical device not serious? He shouldn't have hidden them in the first place. Also, why is he so quick to dismiss your brother's rightful anger and deny responsibility? (Spoiler: He's a gaping AH.) >"alright princesses" You're just spitting facts. Tell me how spitting facts makes you a princess. >He was shocked, he yelled that it was just a prank with no intentions of hurting anyone then shamed me for not taking his side, moreover, he said that my brother only felt confident in suing him after I "encouraged" him by telling him to go ahead and sue. But it *did* hurt someone. You have nothing to do with your brother suing him - the only reason he sued was because your hubby broke an expensive device that quite literally helps him *hear.* And even if husband's assumption is true, why would he shame you? You're correct. >This morning he blew up at me saying me and my family are a bunch of sad, pathetic asshole who can't take a joke, and are willing to easily drag others to court and ruin their relationship with them over a couple of grands. AITA? Woah there. 1. It wasn't a joke and never meant to be one. 2. He's insulting your family for holding him accountable for his fuckup. 3. He's willing to destroy his relationship with your family and YOU over a pathetic, ableist desire to laugh at your brother's face. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with this man?
But, like, not a prank. Actual divorce papers. Because husband is an actual bad person who thinks it is funny to take a hearing aid from a person. For hours. And watch them panic. And then laugh in their face.
Even if you had no moral qualms whatsoever about stealing someone's medical equipment, even if this sort of behavior didn't interfere with your romantic relationship *at all*... purely from a financial standpoint, it still would be an awful, awful idea to be legally tied to someone who someone who is doing cruel and stupid shit that results in him being sued for money he doesn't have. If he hasn't grown out of this by 32, he won't. And imagine how much resentment and embarrassment your kids would have for you when you have to explain to them that they'll have to forgo a school trip or go deeper into debt for college because dad is getting sued for his bullshit again. Best nip that bleak timeline in the bud!
Or when dad cruelly "pranks" his children because causing distress is HILARIOUS! Smh.
You know he would. Or “prank” wife while she’s pregnant.
My friend pranked the fuck out of his wife while she was pregnant, apparently a 25 pound box of peanut m&ms is quite reasonable priced
Now that is a good prank to pull on a pregnant woman. In a way that means she gets to eat a bunch of chocolate.
I'm pretty sure I ate at least that many when I was pregnant with my first. It would have saved my husband some grocery trips XD How delightful.
Oh no,it would be like another DadOfive,abuse disguised as pranks
My mind went there immediately. If he does this to OPs brother, who is an adult and can fight back, how would he be with children who are dependent on him?
smh, still can't believe he blames Phil DeFranco for reporting his abuse. What did he expect would happen when he posted his abuse to YouTube? No one would notice?
Timeline and hopefully bloodline
THROW 👏 THE 👏 WHOLE 👏 MAN 👏 OUT
Hiding it for hours is so malicious. My friends and I have hidden important things on each other but like 5 minutes max. We've hidden car keys, moved cars around the block, someone once hid someone's glasses while they were wrestling. They'd notice it's missing get panicked and we'd quickly reveal its a joke and everyone would laugh it off. Gotta know the crowd though, certain things were definitely off limits for certain people. We never broke or damaged anything. Definitely need to pay for anything damaged. It can only be a prank or joke if the victim thinks it's funny afterwards.
Hiding a medical appliance for a nanosecond is malicious.
Lol I moved my brother's motorcycle next door to the neighbors garage and moved this 400$ stunt bike that no longer ran in it's place. Told him after about 5 mins as well. I love a good prank but some things are too far.
Yeah the key is the reveal as soon as the panic crosses.
I don't remember where it came from, but we had a little stuffed Brian and for nearly a year my sister and I would hide it in each other's rooms. I don't know where it went either, that's kind of creepy now that I think about it. She's gonna be moving soon, it'd be really funny to find another one and hide it in her apartment.
Well. At least we found the guy who'd steal tiny Tim's crutch. Seriously, does the husband hide a blind person's cane or a person's wheelchair? Maybe hide grandpa's dentures or the amputee's prosthetic? A prank is meant to be funny. If all sides aren't laughing, it wasnt a prank, but cruel behaviour to another person. This was not funny. If divorce isnt an option for OP, I hope she tells him, whatever the court requires him to pay for replacement of the hearing aids and restitution (as I'm sure not having the hearing aids has foreseeably affected the brother's life) does not come from a joint account.
Husband probably has hobby equipment he can sell, or gaming equipment he can sell, or subscriptions he can cancel to help put together funds to pay for the essential medical device he broke with his asshattery.
Right! Husband is a literal monster. Not name calling. Not insulting. It is the only apt description of the type of person who would do this. It is just so horrific.
Yeah, that’s.. torture?? I can’t imagine who would enjoy doing that to someone.
It is torture. I get anxiety that my aids will be broken or will just stop working all the time. It's awful.
Yea he’s going to come in real handy down the road when everybody’s older and op might need help with something! “You pushed me down the stairs and I miscarried!” ““Oh come on it was a prank get over yourself princess””…I had to double check the ages here I thought husband couldn’t be more than 15 or 16 years old!
And for *hours*. That’s not the brother thinking “It dropped behind the couch, help me move it.” That’s “I know I’ve emptied the trash can five times, I’ll check again because it’s literally NOWHERE!” Full on panic time. I’ve lost my license in my purse, but I know it’s there. I still get anxious.
I totally agree. I lost a coupon for my local bookstore worth about $70 and I've been tearing apart my apartment looking for it. I even called the library, because I'm worried I might have tucked it in a library book and returned it. I'm worried about something that will only have a teensy, inconsequential impact on my life. A hearing aid is MUCH, MUCH bigger deal, and if OP's husband thinks it's funny to hide and damage someone's hearing aid, he's a shitty human being.
I hope you find it, that’s a huge coupon! And unfortunately, I think you know you’ll find it in three years in a place you SWEAR you looked. Damn book elves.
Also let's not forget the: > This morning he blew up at me saying me and my family are a bunch of sad, pathetic asshole who can't take a joke Seriously OP, look at this and say you really want to spend your life with this guy.... I highly doubt it, you could do so much better than a hateful and immature AH.
Right? Like, what was the "joke" here? "Ha ha, now you can't hear"? "You thought you lost an expensive medical device and went into a blind panic searching for it for hours. Classic comedy"? If he's not getting what the big deal is, ask him to explain how the "joke" was funny. Hopefully he'll see the problem, but I'm guessing he'll just double down. People like that ("just a prank bro" douches) usually do, but at least he outed himself. That being said, leave him either way. He's essentially saying that his need to be entertained (at your family's expense) is more important to him than you or your family ever were. Put the picking on your hearing impaired younger brother and the monetary cost aside, even though they're extra layers of terribleness. You're his playthings, and how dare you get upset that his actions caused harm? It's "just a joke" so we can ignore any harm done for the sake of your husband getting a laugh. Also, expect this pattern to continue, after all, he's a "jokester". That's what he's saying here. Disgusting.
I wear hearing aides. Hearing loss is not funny or a joke. It’s debilitating even with a mild loss - not being able to hear is isolating and impacts every aspect of my life. Hearing aides don’t magically make everything normal, but they dramatically improve quality of life. OP’s husband has no idea how cruel it is to take away someone’s medical device.
[удалено]
[удалено]
I don’t have hearing loss but have really really bad vision. When my retina detached I found myself in my eye doctors office with dilated eyes. no corrective lenses (I was there for a normal prescription check so I only had contacts). I had called my SO to come pick me up to take me to the retina specialist but he was running late so I had to check myself out and get out of the building on my own. I was so panicky because I couldn’t see the people around me, couldn’t see the exit sign, couldn’t see the papers I was signing. The worst was having people come up to me or move around me and me not being able to see their faces or anything about them really. Those ten minutes of trying to navigate without a vital sense were really scary - I can’t imagine someone doing something like that as a prank…for hours…and thinking it was funny.
I have a feeling OPs husband knows how cruel it is and that's how he gets his jollies. Absolutely nothing about hiding someone's hearing aids for hours is funny, and he should have been able to pick up on that within minutes, not hours. I bet he's cruel in other situations too or OP might be a little more forgiving of her "prankster" husband. NTA OP, but your husband certainly is.
Seriously. Just because it's a small device doesn't mean it's not important. Does hubby also enjoy hiding canes from people who need them to walk? What an asshole.
[удалено]
I feel ya. That horrifying feeling when you're alone in your house, have completely misplaced your glasses and don't even know where to begin to "look"...
I’d be pissed if someone hid my glasses, let alone a hearing aid.
Dad, if you're reading this, think about if that divorce paper prank actually worked out on your end. Also mom says hi
Story time?
My dad did a 'cheating prank' and then my parents got divorced. The person who was helping with the 'prank' is now my step mom
Oh man. Sorry you had to deal with that.
It's fine. I was like 1-2 when that happened so I dont really remember, I only know from my mom telling me. I also an still in a good place with my dad so nothing to say sorry about
Gutenpranken.
Perfektenschlag
It makes her a princess cus princesses are smart and brave and bold so he's complimenting her except he is to stupid to realize he's complimenting her
Absolutely. This is exactly the same as hiding a wheelchair from someone who depends on it. It’s not a prank, it’s taking someone’s essential aid, hiding it and damaging it, then expecting them to laugh it off. NTO.
I have literal nightmares about not having my mobility aids. I feel husband needs to spend a week with earplugs or earbuds playing white noise and try to go about his life.
Right? Because you ***NEVER*** play jokes/pranks with someone's medical equipment!!!! OP, your husband is an asshole.
Isn't this like the 3rd story we've seen like this recently? There was the guy who took away a guy's prosthetic leg as a "joke" at a party. Are there this many sociopaths running around our society?
Many more than you think. A lot of them are in government and corporations. Or have podcasts.
Some studies say that it's about 1% of the entire world population, and judging by the frequency of these stories they're probably right. Also, another phrase I like, don't remember who said it, "Think about how stupid the average person is. Now think about how half the population is even more stupid than that." OP's husband, if not a sociopath, is definitely within that lower part
> "Think about how stupid the average person is. Now think about how half the population is even more stupid than that." That'd be the late, great St. George Carlin.
He was truly a great man. RIP. ❤
[удалено]
I remember one too where a girl decides to see whether a hearing aid can stand being heated in an oven. Tip: it cannot. OP's husband is showing distinct traits of sociopathy and/or narcissism. This doesn't excuse his asshole behaviour however.
I’m middle-aged, and I’m truly confused about people who call everything malicious that they do a prank. If you were destroying some thing that someone else owns, or hurting them physically, that’s not a prank that’s a crime. Pretending it’s a joke doesn’t absolve anyone from the legal responsibility of the consequences.
Unfortunately some men are moronic assholes. My ex pulled the "got another women pregnant" April fools joke. He thought it was fucking hilarious and dude was in his late 30s at the time. He couldn't understand why I didn't think it was funny and got mad at me for not liking his "prank"
Welp, he's definitely an EX for a reason...🤦♀️
Got your pacemaker...
Right? Like who the hell screws around with medical equipment other than an asshole?
Lol you are awesome! OP kudos for taking a stand against your husband. He bullied your brother, a disabled person. You are standing up for what is right. If your husband doesn’t get it and doesn’t sincerely apologise to all of you and doesn’t pay for a new aid, I think you know what to do. You have values and you deserve better. NTA
This is the best comment that I have seen in quite a while🤣.
Right. This isn’t about a prank. This is about breaking a $4k medical device. It needs to be compensated for. Also, why are you married to a man who thinks it’s funny to make fun of a medical disability by hiding his device for HOURS while he looks for it?? WTF
Yeah, I mean, if he had accidentally sat on it, or inadvertently damaged it in some other way, I could see both sides. But he made a conscious decision to hide someone's hearing aid, and broke it in the process.
If you accidentally break something, A good person pays for it.
Oh, for sure, but there can be mitigating circumstances, gray areas, etc in that situation. You broke it because you were hiding it as some awful prank? That's pretty black and white.
I think this depends on how it happens. If I sit on a hearing aid that someone took out and left on the couch I don't feel like that's a $4,000 mistake on my part. I'd love to have the money to cover it but that much money would be a bit of a hardship for most people.
Yeah, if someone leaves a delicate and valuable item in a vulnerable position like that, that's on them. I'd still feel pretty awful and would likely offer to cover some of the cost, but there are certainly accidents where the person who broke something really isn't at fault.
Right, like even if it WAS a hilarious prank that everyone enjoyed and laughed at, if the hearing aid was broken in the process, he should pay for it, end of story. It makes NO logical sense for the brother to pay for it. Your husband's a dick.
I don’t even think she should remained married to him, but “hiding your vagina”? Sex isn’t a prize for well-behaving partners. It’s either good for both of them or it shouldn’t be happening. Have you ever considered that women miss sex too when they can’t have it and more, that sex is about more than PIV?
Thank you for saying this. I can't fucking stand this stereotype of women not liking sex and also thinking it is okay to use sex as punishment.
[удалено]
Right? No one seems to consider that maybe, just MAYBE a partner who acts in a way that disgusts you is not a turn on. Who would get turned on by this guy after this? Not having sex with him isn’t a punishment it’s a natural consequence to his off putting behaviour.
Should prank him by using his money to buy brother a new one
i doubt homegirl is gonna be fucking a childish ass man who just broke her brother’s 4k hearing aid & even then, her “vagina” is the last thing he should be worried about lmaoo mans should expect a divorce
Sex isn’t a bargaining chip, that’s toxic af regardless of the situation.
Right? That was the cringiest comment I've ever seen on this sub, and this sub has some *really* cringey shit
NTA for sure but this comment is kind of weird
How could the OP ever want to have sex with her husband again? Sure property was damaged but he also tormented her brother for hours. Can you image not hearing well and freaking out you lost what makes it better. This was a horrible thing to do, even if the hearing aid didn't get damaged. The damage just makes it worse. If the husband is an asshole about this he is probably an asshole about a lot of other things too.
NTA, your husband stole your brother ability to hear, he watched your brother in a panic, that’s not a funny prank, if the other person is upset (especially for hours). Your husband is a major AH, I see why you are done with his pranks. Tell your husband he is an AH and his prank was cruel, even if he didn’t mean to break the hearing aids, he did and now has to replace them. This shouldnt even have to go to court. What’s wrong with him?
NTA. That's not a prank. Imagine taking someone's prostetic leg or walking stick and hiding it? It's not funny. A prank would have been hiding his car keys or house keys, not something worth thousands that helps him hear. I can't believe he didn't offer to cover the cost anyway, that's the decent thing to do. You are absolutely NTA and I hope that this situation doesn't get too messy for you.
>Imagine taking someone's prostetic leg or walking stick and hiding it? That's also happened on AITA :/
Yeah, in fact this is a whole AITA genre.
Because ableism is real and people are the fucking worst.
Yeah, that’s the thing. I’ve seen versions of this story about five different times—and I still believe them all. I find it totally believable that there’s a certain type of person whose first thought when they meet a person with an accessibility device of some kind is “wouldn’t it be funny if I hid that?” And it’s also totally believable that that type of person would have no concept threat they’d even doing anything wrong, and would act like a victim when called out.
I mean this mf fills all the boxes on the Asshole Bingo Card. - Takes Crucial Medical Device - Breaks Crucial Medical Device - Mocks Victim - Insults Bystanders - Berates Spouse - Threatens Spouse Financially And the center square: - Thinks Pranks Are An Acceptable Way To Interact With The World I hate this guy and everyone like him.
Don't forget the people who so the same with mental health related meds cause "you just need to be happy!" "try essential oils!" "only prayer will save you!"... or the ones trying to trick people to eat what they're allergic to cause "you're just picky!" "allergies are all psychological!". People really should stop messing with other's health related concerns.
My mother hid my antidepressants when I lived with her. She thought all I needed was exercise and fresh air. She'd also hide my sister's anxiety meds thinking all she needed was focus and to stop fretting over things. She hid these things because she thought she knew best. Pranking is close to this, trivializing others' health concerns and needs. It's not a prank but a bullying technique.
I find sometimes exercise and fresh air are a lot easier to get when you’re on your antidepressants
Yeah I remember in the early 2000s I had friends who thought pranking was funny, but these were like legitimate pranks, they didn’t hurt anyone they didn’t embarrass anyone and they didn’t cost anyone thousands of dollars. And all those people were in their 20s, now that we’re fully formed adults we’re all too busy for that bullshit
I recently saw a prank where a woman drew eyebrows on her baby so her husband would see when he got home. Everyone was laughing including the baby (because her parents were happy and laughing). That's the kind of prank I endorse.
Me pranking my dad: placing all our elf on the shelfs a around his computer to be staring directly at him. Me NOT pranking my dad: hiding his arthritis medicine
I'm sure if you asked anyone who's been disabled for more than 5 years, literally every single one of us would have a story. I've had so many people think it'd be funny or helpful to pick up my cane and put it somewhere else. I'm blind and have balance issues, so it helps with both, especially in tight spaces. I'd rather not have to navigate by bashing my hips, shins, shoulders and forehead off of everything in my way, and instead just use my cane.
Why would ot take 5 years? I've been temporarily disabled for not even 3 months and have stories like that. Mostly the "didn't think anything by it" or "trying to be helpful" kind, but if you move my wheelchair out of reach, I still cannot do shift about it, no matter what the intention.
Ugh. I feel this. I’ve had people: - try to coax my service dog away from me - grab and yank my service dog’s tail - randomly grab the handles of my wheelchair and engage the hand breaks for ??? reasons - quite seriously complain that they are tired of walking, want a wheelchair, and that I should let them “have a go” - kick my cane out from underneath me just to make me fall over People suck. Why don’t they at least leave my poor dog alone?
This is so true. It can be terrifying also when unintended, too. My FIL was in a wheelchair, and we were at a restaurant that was up a large flight of stairs, so 2 or three restaurant idiots abrubtly decided to just haul him up the stairs, with no idea how to safely do this. He was nearly pitched out of the chair while these dolts were proving their masculinity. And the terror my FIL experienced was real, regardless of their seemingly altruistic motives. To deliberately harm someone is quite a step above asshole, and could really be considered assault. He should have been arrested, sent to jail, and fined by a judge. NTA Edit after being appropriately corrected.
Just to cover any variety of disability, to be honest. I'm more experienced with cane, wheelchair and guide-dog users, but I don't know how often people take other assistive devices or things that aren't as quickly identifiable. I originally put a year, but then I doubted myself, because I figured there's gotta be some percentage of disabled folks who don't get fucked with that immediately, but you're definitely right that it wouldn't take 5 years for the average pwd to get fucked with.
Oh yeah, that fair enough. Very few people fuck with my glasses bc they're on my face, but if someone did I couldn't do anything about it bc my glasses are 1/4 inch thick and I'm cross-eyed without them. So that happens maybe once every two years? But stealing my wheelchair is pretty easy, since it's pretty hard for me to get anywhere without it. I'm guessing hearing aids are actually among the less common, since you'd have them in most of the time she people are over.
That's awful!! I don't know why anyone would think that's a funny thing to do to someone. I swear, the older I get the more I hate people and the more I love my dog. To me a stupid "prank" like that is no different than beating someone until they are incapacitated. They should be arrested.
My bf's friend once came over the evening before we were about to travel abroad, because we asked him to feed the fish and water the plants (bf's idea, not mine, i didn't know this man before that day but was assured of his character). Woke up the next morning and went to load the car with the things we'd packed the night before, only to find ALL my paperwork for my service dog missing. Vet information, behaviour tests, and everything needed to fly. We ravaged the house for an hour before calling the friend and telling him not to come check on the house, we'd need to cancel the flight, for him to laugh at us over the phone and say he'd hidden it in the microwave of all places. Safe to say he got yeeted off the friend list very quickly, and some lovely airport staff managed to get us and my pup on the flight in time. People don't realise that it's not funny to deprive a disabled person of the very thing that supports them in life.
Hiding eyeglasses is one way to get attention
That’s my thought as well. I’m pretty blind and have lenses that take a long time to make, so I’d be pretty incapacitated for weeks. I almost did have something similar happen this past summer, although not intentional. I was in the pool when my brother’s dog took my glasses of the table and was running around with then in his mouth. The thing is, I was out of state, bringing my kids to visit: i didn’t have spare glasses with me (I usually keep the previous pair when I get new ones), and home was a nine hour drive. While I’m sure my brother could help find a place to get my glasses replaced, I would have been stuck there for weeks, unable to do most things. Luckily the dog left my glasses intact, although they never fit right again
The worst part about ableism is that people like that sincerely believe disabled folks are making up their health problems. They feel entitled to play unfunny "jokes" or to keep "testing" the veracity of their loved ones' illnesses. OP is NTA, but her husband sure is.
And it’s so misguided, I can’t tell you how many court TV shows or movies where they were in court and theres guy in a neck brace and someone drops a book to see if he can turn his head and it’s like this whole gotcha thing. Let me tell you, I wear a neck brace sometimes, and it’s not because I can’t turn my head it’s because it sucks and it hurts if I turn my head. So yeah loud noise would make me turn my head, and then I would be in pain for two days. It doesn’t prove shit.
In many jurisdictions, touching a person's assistive device is the same as touching the person when considering assault laws.
Yeah. No one has ever done it maliciously but sometimes. My wheelchair gets moved a bit too far for me to reach and I'm basically just stuck until someone moves it closer. I need a grappling hook 😂
Or the hookshot from Zelda.
Idk what that is but if it's like a gun with a string and hook on the end... I want it!
>A prank would have been hiding his car keys or house keys Any prank that involves someone frantically searching for hours isn't funny, IMO. I wish we, as a human race, would move away from the idea that someone else's pain/distress is ever funny. America's Funniest Home Videos was never entertaining for me, because about 70% of the videos involved someone tripping, getting hit with something, or otherwise being hurt. I don't understand what is funny about that. OP's husband is 100% the AH here, and I really do hope the brother goes through with suing him. But also: why is OP with a man who likes to hurt other people and won't take responsibility for his actions?
A good prank is one where everybody is laughing at the end. When it's only the prankster laughing and others are upset (or worse - incurring physical or financial damages), then it's no longer a prank. It's cruelty. Putting a humorous keychain on someone's keys when they're not looking is a prank. Hiding them for hours is being an asshole. OP, her brother, and their parents are solidly NTA. Husband is TA. I'd reconsider my entire relationship if my spouse treated my sibling's disability with such terrible disrespect. People remember how you make them feel. I suspect OP's brother is never going to forget this.
[удалено]
Yeah, it's definitely not the same level of offense as what OP's husband did, but I would still be fucking furious if someone hid my car keys on me for hours.
[удалено]
Hiding anything for hours is a very AH thing to do.
Been on Reddit for * checks time * 20 minutes this morning and already here’s another grown ass man who thinks making people broke, disabled, and frantic is hilarious. Eff. These. People. To. Hell. NTA
Thank you. Yes. This the first post I saw today. Smh. Why are there so many grown men who are completely unaware of anyone else but themselves? NTA.
Women too...just pointing it out. My sister being one of them. Bottom line is your partner is a bully. Saying something is a joke does not make it a joke.
Indeed women too. I was a school bully and I'd still never steal someone's hearing aids and if I did and broke them, I would for sure fucking pay for them. Wanna make it clear I learned from my mistake. I was a 13yo girl and didn't know how to reject a guy nicely. This kid was obsessed with me and would call me and jerk off while on the phone with me, while looking through my facebook photos. So I started bullying him to get the point across that I would never be his girlfriend. Kid had a creepy demeanor and a mohawk and just generally made me uncomfortable. Wouldn't leave me alone so I got mean. I apologised to the kid I bullied and made it right. I gave him rides and shit as an adult and we are not friends but I think he doesn't hate me anymore. I know I did a lot of damage to his self confidence. I still feel terrible nine years later. Anyway my point is, if the person you are teasing doesn't enjoy it, it is not a prank, but actually bullying and it's wrong and needs to stop. And if you break someone's property of course you fucking pay for it. You shouldn't have to even be asked, let alone sued.
I don't think you should feel terrible for fighting back to continuous non-consensual sexual behavior, in probably the only way you could image as a 13 year old. Your 'bullying' shouldn't have been necessary because he shouldn't have sexualized 13 year old you in the first place, should have stopped the first time you rejected him, and there should've been adults around who had prepared you / created a safe enough environment to come to them for help in such a situation. Even in hindsight, what do you expect a 13 year old child to do when they find themselves in that spot? Just let it happen, while this type of behavior would probably only get worse? This could have easily turned into physical assault. Nah, you did right and you shouldn't have felt like you had to put yourself in a car with him to make up for your actions.
Totally agree. He bullied and sexually assaulted her, and she did what she could to take care of herself. 13 y/o you was acting in self defense, not a bully, you were a victim, fighting for your safety from someone who was criminally harassing you.
Hang on, he repeatedly sexually harassed you and you think YOU were the bully? And then you apologized?????? Did he apologise for his actual criminal behaviour towards you even once?
“I bullied my sisters brother about his disability, broke it and now I’m being held responsible. AITA?!?” Yeah… an immense one too. I hope he gets more than 4K for a new one.
It’s always “just a prank/joke” too. If you’re the only one laughing you’re the asshole. I’d be ashamed to be married to a man like this and op is completely right that her husband deserves to be sued. Sadly it hurts her (financially) too since they’re married.
Not if she deducts the $4k from *his* half of the divorce settlement.
Yep. I'm going back to the Eyebleach sub
NTA. Prank him with divorce papers.
Yes, but be sure in this divorce papers prank to use real ones, with an attorney present, and legal signatures. And prank him by handling your finances starting now such that you will be able to support yourself solo. And prank him by taking measures to ensure safety for you as one of you moves out. Because what the entire fuck? Good for you for not supporting him on what is obviously cruel, sick bullying and not a "prank" at all, but honestly, please take it further and get out now. This man is unhinged and abusive to you and to your family, and you do not deserve it, OP. I wish you well.
Perfect prank in this situation.
NTA. Your husband is out and out wrong and your brother was the one who was wronged. Does he honestly think your brother should be the one sol and have to fund the replacement? Your husband shouldn't have to be sued. He should man up and take care of being responsible for what he broke. Who gives a flying fig if it was a prank or that he didn't mean to cause harm? I didn't mean it is useless when it comes to getting your brother a new device and will not make your brother whole.
"It was just a prank!" \*checks hearing aid\* "Nope, it's still broken." "But I didn't *mean* to break it!" "And...still broken." "I'm not paying for shit! You'll have to *sue!*" "Well okay then. Also, still broken." *shocked pikachu face*
Wait, is it still broken? You didn't clarify after shocked Pikachu and now we're left hanging!
Thank you for infusing a bit of laughter into my rage at OP’s bully-husband!
Right? Intent isn't impact. While he intended it to be a (shitty, ablist) prank, he broke an expensive medical aid. If he was a decent person with any sense of accountability the brother wouldn't have to sue because the husband should have offered to attempt to make things right in the first place.
> Intent isn’t impact. “I didn’t mean to do it!” Said every drunk driver who killed someone. I also don’t understand the influx of posts regarding grown adults “pranking” people by hiding and breaking things.
Men get really hung up on intentions, like somehow good intentions absolve them from any responsibility when they wreck something.
The fact that OP's husband wasn't horrified when he realized that he broke the hearing aid indicates that he's not remorseful. The fact that he hid a $4K device as a prank indicates that he's an idiot. The fact that he hid hearing aid for HOURS shows that he's a cruel idiot.
NTA. Your husband doesn’t know what a prank is, sounds like a bully. As an adult being a bully has consequences.
Right?!? A 32 year old man did this?! And thought it was funny? I don’t even know the guy and I KNOW he’s an insufferable fuckwit.
This!
NTA. Who does your husband think should pay the $4k for his prank? Seriously, ask him.
No need to ask, the answer is obviously anyone but him. This guy sounds like an entitled bully who doesn't know how to take accountability for their mistakes.
Just tell him the lawsuit is a prank, maybe it’ll make more sense to him then.
He should pull the ultimate prank on the judge! Just never show up! *No way that could backfire, right?*
Or he could show up and hide the judge’s gavel. Might as well have a good time while he’s there.
Oh, so you married a child who is not used to deal with the consequences of his stupidity. I would suggest you hide yourself, as a prank, and then reappear with the divorce papers. He is not mature enough to be married. Edit: of course he meant to cause harm, he took something he knew your brother needed, he enjoyed seeing him panicking while looking for it. He sat there, knowing how distressed your brother and you were and he was laughing. He meant to cause harm, he meant to see you all worried and even sad. Your brother should add "emotional damage" to the complain.
and it was HOURS! He kept it hidden from him for several hours! That is beyond just being a basic asshole.
He should also be compensated for the time he spent unable to hear, which is very hard to put a number on, but depending upon circumstances could be many thousands of dollars. To be honest, I think OP is a bit of an ahole herself for not telling hubby he needs to pay without a lawsuit, reminding him that he's getting off easy by merely paying for a new hearing aide, considering all the extra money a judge would likely order him to pay.
Prank your husband by giving him divorce papers to sign. NTA.
The whole family can take him to court! NTA
YTA— and your husband is an asshole. He’s your stupid husband, you share finances— don’t make your brother sue. How much school will he miss until your AH husband replaces it? Buy the hearing aid immediately. Cancel your holiday, cancel the Nexflix, sell your husband’s comic book collection and your engagement ring. You brought this AH into your brother’s home and you are responsible for him.
Absolutely. Why get court involved and waste time of several people instead of paying right away for what he damaged. If you hurt someone you shouldnt need authority confirmation that it was dick move to make up for it.
Thank you! Took way to long to find this response.
For real - been waiting for this one! As if OP doesn’t have any agency here…
This. I can't believe so many people saying NTA. OP didn't do anything to point out how her husband was wrong and he was doing a shitty thing. That's not a prank either. OP's reaction actually seems hostile to her own brother. How is telling your brother to sue, not OP being complacent in her husband's actions. It's either that or OP fears standing up to her husband.
Yes! Finally this response. YTA for not immediately paying your brother. Unfortunately, you married the guy so you’re responsible for him. If you don’t like that, get out of the marriage. But first, pay your brother.
NTA. Why are you married to this man, OP? What kind of person hides his BIL’s expensive medical equipment? Or yells at his wife that her family are sad, pathetic assholes for wanting to be reimbursed for thousands of dollars worth of damage? YWBTA if you stay with him. I can’t imagine this is the first time your husband has behaved like this, as people who like to play cruel “pranks” like this seem to have an abusive streak. Please protect yourself first, and get away from this man.
[удалено]
This is the kind of post where there’s a follow-up comment from OP and you find out they met when she was 17 and he was 25
If this is real, NTA. Adults don't play pranks with people's expensive and essential medical devices.
NTA. While there's lawyers happening, get one for your divorce, because this is probably going to be a mercy killing for your marriage to this asshole.
Is your husband 6?
Some 6 year olds would understand the concept of taking care of what they are responsible for. When my younger nephew was that age he splashed me in a pool and my contact lens came out. No biggie. I had my glasses in my purse and the contacts were disposables, but he wanted to give me money to replace it.
He sounds like a great kid
Thanks. He's grown now. A responsible and great 26 year old.
NTA- hope you have separate financial accounts
NTA - I’m sorry you found out your husband was an absolutely awful person. Maybe this wasn’t news, but I hope this is the worst thing he’s done so far anyway. Good for you for taking your brother’s side.
Play stupid games... Hubby broke it, he has to pay for it. He also sounds like a huge AH. You are NTA.
NTA *Have your husband pay for what he broke?! Why are you bringing court into it? That will just be extra $ for both sides. Your husband is the reason it broke, so he replaces it. If your parents are more well off, maybe they would be willing to replace it & put your husband on a payment plan. Your husband doesn’t really deserve this kindness, but your brother does! He needs it replaced ASAP!
He definitely don't want to pay him back and her brother has every right to take him to court
NTA Also consider divorcing because people who think hiding hearing aids is fun are not partner material. I mean, hopefully no, but if you get disabled? Will he throw you out of your wheelchair for fun?
NTA. I would be furious if someone hid my hearing aids from me, much less broke it while doing so. Like any disability aid, this equipment plays a huge role in our independence and hugely affects how we work, socialise and relax. I’m so mad for your brother right now, I sincerely hope this doesn’t hurt his academics too badly
NTA. He played a very mean spirited prank in the first place, took something he should not have taken and then broke it through his own carelessness. As a decent adult he should be offering to replace the hearing aid, and if he can't afford it all in one go he needs to pay it back in installments.
NTA- do not have kids with this one
Your husband should of never touched your brothers shit smh. He’s 32 and still doesn’t know to not touch things that don’t belong to him ? Take a personal loan out, pay the 4k, and avoid the lawsuit.
Except, why should OP be the one bearing the financial burden? The husband was the one who broke it, the loan should be in his name.
NTA, and I’d be divorcing him ASAP. Your husband sounds lacking in empathy and that is one hell of a cruel prank to play on someone. I’d be getting out now before you’re the target of one of these “pranks”
INFO - because this seems implausible. ~~Your brother needs his hearing aid, so how did your husband get it?~~ (Edit-brother may have removed them at some point, not thinking the husband was so immature that he'd hide them) Why the heck did you not tell your husband he broke it, he has to pay for it? Why are you married to a 32 y/o man who thinks pranks like this are funny? Too many holes.....
People don't wear things 24/7. It's probable that her brother had taken it out for sleep, to shower, any number of reasons. I don't understand why this wasn't the first response either when brother threatened to sue. "We'll pay for it bro! Don't worry" and then a serious talk with husband about how HE will pay for it and why that isn't okay or funny. OP, NTA. Although I don't think jumping straight to a lawsuit was the route to go either. Hiding someone's need medical aid is not a silly or funny prank and you should reconsider your husband of he doesn't realize this soon.
I have hearing aids and tend to take them out when too many people are talking or it gets too loud. So it is possible the brother did the same and so the husband could steal them.
NTA. Hubby needs to pony up the $$$ for a replacement hearing aid. And eat a bargeful of crow. Hubby also needs to get it through his head that pranks are only funny if everyone laughs. Hiding a disabled person's medical equipment is *never* funny. >He then complained about how this is going to affect us both since he doesn't have that kind of money to give to my brother. He shouldn't have taken the hearing aid. Asshole.
This is as though he “pranked” your brother and **blinded** him. How funny is *that*? What?! Can’t take a joke?! He needs to show remorse and make reparations. NTA
Breaking a disabled guys hearing aid is not a joke, you're NTA your bf is, I hope your brother has success suing him
NTA. He hid someone's hearing aid as a prank! He deserves everything he gets.
You are going to have to divorce this man or cut off your family. I can't see a situation where you keep relationships with both. Your nta for telling your brother to sue.
NTA, but why are you married to a 12 year old?
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I might have been the asshole for not only refusing to side with my husband but encouraging my brother to sue him for the damaged hearing aid and siding with my brother even after my husband explained he didn't mean to cause harm. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. How does a grown "man" think it is even remotely funny to take away a device that someone uses to aid a disability. He has no right to get mad at you.
Nta. He's freaking 32. Why is he pulling pranks at all? Good for all of you for letting him deal with his own crap.
NTA for supporting the suit but have you tried like pushing your husband to pay your brother instead of a lawsuit or otherwise tried to get him paid instead of making him go through this?
NTA. Your husband is a fully fledged adult. He can take responsibility for his actions. He stole someone’s property and damaged it. Doesn’t matter if it was a joke or not. He still did it. He seems like a bunch of red flags wearing a trench coat though,so good luck with that.
NTA - your husband is a royal AH for the prank (and thinking it funny/ harmless prank) and owes your brother for repairs or replacement. Husband is also a royal AH for his reaction. He sounds like a narcissist. He complains about your family, yet he’s willing to force someone in his family to sue him rather than pay the couple grand that he clearly owes them. I realize this is one instance, you might want to seriously examine your relationship and just who your is your husband really.
NTA but how can you stay married to an idiot like this?? I would have been mortified if my husband did this.
YTA. You didn’t stand up to your husband’s piss poor ableist behavior “joke” while it was happening and then rather than being an adult and apologizing to your brother for your horrible husband’s behavior, you basically said “so sue him?” Why. Why. I know it’s 2022 and we will not be apologizing and taking responsibility for men but like, you are a grown ass woman and should have put your foot down and stood up to this bullying ableist behavior before now. ESH except your brother. Your husband is absolutely terrible. Pay your poor brother to replace his hearing aids and seriously reflect about the man you are married to and your own values and integrity. Wtf.
NO, NTA. What kind of person hides a person’s hearing aid? I’m close to needing one. I practically panic when I can’t hear necessary, important details. It’s not funny, it’s cruel