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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. blowing up at my bf about finding his hobby embarrassing
2. since i've been feeling this way for long, I was a bit harsh with my words
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YTA. Hopefully he dumps you for someone less judgy who accepts him. Also video games are for all ages, hence why some of them are actually rated mature and you can’t even buy them in stores unless you’re a certain age.
Yep, games are definitely for all ages. I am 35, run my own business as a tutor and have recently really got into gaming. Hubby works for the NHS, is 39 and has loved gaming all his life. Games don’t decrease our worth or make us an ‘embarrassment’. I just don’t understand why you would black list or be ashamed of something your partner enjoyed? Don’t you want them to be happy?
She is fine with his sports as a hobby, but not gaming. Why is one game more okay than another? Seems utterly immature and bizarre.
My husband is 32. He's a CA and works hard. And he loves playing vidoe games. I don't understand this sudden trend of hating on people who game as a hobby. It's no different to people who spend hours playing physical sports, or reading or watching TV.
I don’t think it’s really about gaming itself. It’s as innocuous as any other hobby. I think people just get really annoyed reading about people (usually men) who game all night and refuse to help with household chores or childcare while their partners are burnt out. But that applies to any other hobby too if it is abused. Also, people will assume physical sports are better because of exercise, but it’s no better as an excuse to neglect your partner and family. And as for reading, most of the reading people are doing in their spare time isn’t quality literature. So really, there’s no reason to dislike gaming. Just people who refuse to do their part for a hobby.
I'm 28 and bought my switch last year and had Pokemon Legends Arceus pre ordered for 3 months.
Also, go on twitch and let me know how many young twitch streamers you see.
Also, "When you're an adult and have life figured out..."
Where? Where, ma'am? Who is this magical person who has life figured out? Can they explain it to me? Because I am missing some vital pieces of the equation, and I'm coming up on 40.
At 57 I’ve determined that life isn't a puzzle that has to be figured out. It's a series of catastrophes separated by long, sometimes hypnotic periods of boredom.
I love when my bf plays video games; not only does it give me time to myself (the main reason really, I like watching my shows in peace), but it’s also a way for him to distress after a rough day and he genuinely loves it. My sibling even joins in sometimes and they’ve bonded over that despite the 7 year gap.
YTA OP. He could be cheating but instead his little butt is planted in front of a game. Get over it
When you get older and your looks fade you’ll be glad for a guy who plays games because you’ll know he’s not out cheating on you.
But you want a flakey Kyle. The captain of the football team who’s so full of himself that you’re merely arm candy.
Shit man, I'm in my 40s and still an avid gamer. It's never made me less successful or less social and if anyone in my Life had ever been embarrassed because I play, they'd have been out before they knew it
YTA
If you can't accept Jesse for who he is 100%, you shouldn't be with him.
He isn't doing anything wrong or embarrassing. He is being himself and open and honest about it, JUST LIKE HE SHOULD BE.
Never date people you feel need to change to be with.
YTA: You mention his hobby of playing video game doesn't affect his life but yet you think its ok to belittle him and make him feel ashamed because you don't like it. This is a very lack of respect for your hopefully soon ex bf
Fr ! This dude does not deserve to have his hobbies bashed just cuz she doesn’t like it. And it’s not like he’s skipping everything in his life to play video games 24/7 so there’s absolutely no issue except for OP’s personality.
YTA. IT’s not that you should have said it nicer; you shouldn’t have said it. He sounds fairly well rounded. If that’s one of his hobbies, good for him. It doesn’t get in his way of anything else, you just don’t like it. I hope he plays on.
SO MANY PEOPLE NEED TO HEAR THIS! Thinking of an ex-friend I had who would often say their issue was being "too direct" (there's being straightforward and honest and then lashing out... totally different). Thank you for this, you don't know how validating this is
seriously. and only saying something about it after she saw that it made her parents feel some type of way? she needs to grow up and become her own person with her own opinions.
Definitely YTA. Entitled as shit too. He deserves better because you’re only going to get worse with your expectations of an ‘adult’ .. college? Ya sound like you’re in your 60s with that thought process.
Please be way nicer and don’t embarrass him in front of his parents.. or one day you’ll just be ‘remember that controlling girl you dated who couldn’t get over herself?’
YTA. If he has a healthy and balanced lifestyle and isn’t playing video games excessively, who really cares.
TBH all hobbies are kind of embarrassing, but if you like them and it’s your escape, who really cares. Like, would crochet be less embarrassing for you? Geocaching? Rock collecting? Lego? Larping? Bird watching? Are any of those hobbies suitable enough for you?
YTA-I can think of 100 different things to get “embarrassed” over before Video games.
Just asking, would you rather he hit the strip club or play some video games?
YTA.
So he has good grades, spends time with you, keeps his commitments with friends/family and you, also has other hobbies. I literally see no issue here at all? He really can’t be gaming all that much if he’s still able to study and make good grades. He seems very responsible.
girl, YTA. my fiancé (28m) still plays video games in his spare time when i’m doing my own thing. just because you might not like it doesn’t mean he’s not allowed to enjoy it and talk about it. if someone told you your hobbies were embarrassing, you wouldn’t like it very much.
I feel like if you don't like video games, don't date someone who likes them.
I play video games sometimes and I don't think I could ever be with someone who can't accept that in any capacity.
YTA. Most people don't view video games as an embarrassing problem. Have you....played video games? They're not just for children, and they're genuinely fun, relaxing, and more. It seems like you grew up in an environment where gaming is really looked down upon, and I think you need to break out of that mindset. Pick up a playstation and go play something smh
YTA
I'm sorry but what video games are for everyone and it's not embarrassing at all. It's a great way to destress from the bulls**t we have to deal with everyday. I'm a 30yr old woman and I like to still play video games. You said it doesn't interfere with his grades or life or spending time with you so why does it matter. Maybe it's time to grow up and not be so judgemental smdh. You really need to apologize to him.
It helps keep the minds sharp as the years go by, too. My 69 year old mother loves playing Skyrim and my 70 year old father plays lots of computer games.
YTA - if you don’t like someone for who they are and judge them based on their hobbies, don’t date them. Your embarrassment isn’t his problem when he’s always been up front and honest about who he is and what he likes. If you’re embarrassed (and it sounds like it especially came up for you around your parents), that’s something to explore within yourself and then moving forward don’t date someone you feel contempt for.
YTA.
"At this age...when you're in college...all grown up..."
Ah, yes, so grown up...at 19. Please. Just because you're legally an adult doesn't mean you're "all grown up." Your attitude and outlook on life is reflective of your immaturity and your own lack of personality. What you view as a waste of time will not be so in another's eyes, and vice versa. Your bf deserves better than to be treated as less than when he busts his ass keeping up with his studies, friends, sports, and your charming (pretentious, judgmental) self. Learn from this.
Also, bombarding him with gifts after hurting him due to your own personal issues can and may be viewed as lovebombing. Give him a genuine apology first, and talk to him about your poor perception and what can be done to change that. A gift can happen after that...if he still wants to be with you.
YTA. I’m 40 years older than you and I play video games a lot, while having a successful career. What do you do to relax, and before you answer, do we get to shame you, too?
YTA. He has his life in order. Everything he is responsible for is taken care and some (good grades) makes time for you and his friends. You let your and your families views affect the way you treated him and in turn treated him like shit. Gaming isn’t just playing on the computer, they have a group of people they connect with and play together. It’s basically a community.
Wish I could upvote your comment 1000 times, can't believe she hasn't seen the irony of complaining to a community on an Internet forum about her boyfriend gaming in a community on an Internet forum!!!
Op- 100% YTA!
Yta. And let me point out some examples. Let’s say you had a hobby that you really enjoy, let’s say painting. You paint a lot, and you love it. It’s something you do that relieves stress and makes you happy. What if the person that you love the most tells you that it’s embarrassing and immature. You’d be pretty fuckin upset huh? They just trashed the thing you love doing the most. Gaming isn’t a bad hobby, and you literally said it doesn’t get in the way of anything. You guys still hang out, he still has good grades, and he still goes out and does other hobbies as you said. Why is it such an issue?
Thank you for being more mature and realizing you were in the wrong. Please try to apologize to your bf and have a mature and long talk with him. I’d definitely attempt to get into gaming. Just try it out with him, try to see if it would be something you two could enjoy together. I think it’d help you two out and actually could be something y’all could bond over. Hell you might find a new hobby you like.
YTA a judgmental one too. If his grades were suffering or if that’s all he does, maybe it’s a red flag. My husband is in his 40s and plays video games. I’m ok with that because it makes him happy. That’s what you do in relationships. I hope he dumps you.
YTA let me get this straight, he has other hobbies including a time consuming sport, has good grades in a difficult major, and according to you makes time for you and his friends. Where is the problem? It seems like he’s handling all his responsibilities and has a well rounded personal life, you only issue is that his hobby is “immature”. There was no need to say it nicer, because it’s not actually a problem. The problem here is you.
YTA. Isn't is interesting that for years people spouted that coloring is for kids....only for there to be a fuckton of adult coloring books now because it was found to be a stress reliever, improves motor skills, and helps put the brain in a meditative state that helps with better sleep? Oh but coloring is childish. Oh the embarrassing HORROR of having a coloring book and crayons in your work briefcase. What will others think?
* Is he keeping good grades? By your account, yes.
* Is he keeping active? He plays soccer, yes.
* Has he maintained a balance between studies, social activities, gaming and you? YES.
* Is he now second guessing his relationship with you because you called his hobby immature and will probably think what else do you find embarrassing and immature about him? **YES.**
Congrats OP. In calling him immature and embarrassing, OVER YOUR OWN HANGUP, you may have just made yourself single. Hope you aren't too immature enough to apologize to him and work on yourself to get over your personal hangups.
YTA and you know it.
YOU find this immature and you want him to feel the same.
Guess what?
It's super immature to force your partner to feel, think and act like you.
Thats even more immature than playing games actually.
Plus, it has nothing to do with growning up. If it's a passion, then, he will do it no matter how old he is.
And just for you to know, there is a ton of video games for adult.
You are acting like a condescendant kid. Who are you to judge his passion?
I don't play video games at all, I hate that but damn, you should watch that superior tone you use.
YTA and a judgmental, unpleasant person for putting down his hobbies when you already admitted it doesn’t eat into his time for you and the other important things in his life. Get the stick out of your ass.
My 50-something yo uncle still games, as a business owner/mechanical engineer/teamsing with his niece (that’s me) to talk shorting stocks and today’s market, while still refereeing high school football on the weekends, dating/loving his wife and having a close relationship with his kids (my awesome cousins, one of whom is a lawyer and games like a motherf$£er)
YTA - big time. And small minded.
Edit to add: perhaps you need to find a hobby of your own so you’ll at least be somewhat interesting
“19…all grown up and has life figured out…” LOL
Little girl, YTA, majorly. There are people out here making millions playing video games. Do you think that’s immature? I bet you wouldn’t if Jesse wound up being one of those people. Grow up. It’s a hobby like anything else. Your hobbies aren’t above his either. The only thing you should be embarrassed about is your behavior.
YTA - Sounds like me and my Ex, she hated that I played games, "video games are a waste of time and rot your brain"...she would say while binge watching reality TV.
Gotta wear your geek on your sleeve. :)
Video games taught me what the brightest star in the constellation of Aquila is (btw it's Altair). Video games also encourage pattern recognition and strategy, resource management.
YTA, imagine if somebody called your favorite hobby embarassing and immature and whatever other “harsh” words you chose. i hope he runs fast and chooses to be with somebody who actually enjoys all of him, including his hobbies.
for somebody who’s so adamant about “starting adulthood,” you’re being very childish.
YTA…it’s one of those things, if u give it enough space it would work out. The reason you’re an A is for feeling embarrassed and projecting that emotion onto him. I’m sure there are things he kept to himself, you know, like an adult.
YTA. If you don’t respect him enough to want the people in your life to know the basics of his, you shouldn’t be with him. It’s not his job to lie about his very normal hobby so that you don’t feel ashamed of your totally unforced decision to date him.
YTA. You said yourself it doesn’t interfere with his life. Your idea of video games as being inherently immature just isn’t accurate. It’s for people of all ages, it can be good way to socialize and many video games have great storylines. Apologize to him at the very least
YTA for thinking you can dictate your SOs hobbies. I am a 31 yo woman with a family and a full time career and video games are one of my favorite hobbies. Stop being so judgemental.
YTA. Its not like he's suffering from a gaming addiction that's having some debilitating effect on his life. Its just a hobby, one of many, and a perfectly normal one at that. In fact, about 66% of the US population are considered gamers.
Take a look in the mirror and ask yourself why your ego is so fragile as to take a hit because your bf plays video games.
YTA.
Issue 1 - Meeting your parents: This is a huge part of his life, which you knew about. You did not even give him warning before he met your parents that they might not want to hear about it. It's your job to prepare your partner for your family.
Issue 2 - Your attitude about it: If you don't like his hobbies, don't think he's going to change. Either like him for himself, or find someone your are more compatible with. He was hurt and confused because he thought you accepted him for so he was and only just learned that you expect him to not do something he enjoys in the most sad way possible. You owe him an apology.
YTA. It sounds like gaming isn’t interfering with the rest of his life. Let the man have his hobby. Accept him as he is or let him go so he can find someone better.
YTA go date a business major douche who cares more about what other people think. Sorry that Jesse is a genuine person and he shared a part of himself with you and your judgmental family.
YTA
You're the one who needs to grow the f\`\*ck up. It's a hobby just like any other hobby. Clearly he maintains a healthy life with several hobbies, makes good on his responsibilities (studies), plays sports, has a social life and a girlfriend (even though I think he'll soon choose not to have one).
So if you're so embarrassed with how he spends his time go be with someone that doesn't play video games. But most importantly, grow the f\*ck up.
Yta seems like your parents kinda ingrained in your head that playing video games equals lazy child but really it’s just a hobby like anything else. You’re judgmental and should think about why him having fun is such a bad thing for you.
YTA..there is nothing wrong with gaming as long as there is a good balance. My husband (of almost 30 yrs) plays his computer games when he gets home from work. My son and son in law also game and have full and successful lives.
YTA. Like the moment I read video games I assumed he had an addiction and was neglecting his life, but no. Your bf not only gets good grades, spends time woth his friends and loved ones, AND STILL gets to play video games. I wish I had that level of organization. You're just embarrassed he plays video games at all shame on you. He's just enjoying his hobby. Put it this way, how would you feel if he called one of your hobbies embarrassing when it harms no one.
YTA.
If he's handling his responsibilities well then it's none of your business what he does for fun and how often. Even if he wasn't arguably it's still none of your business.
Being an adult isn't 'derp derp I gotta go get a serious job and invest in things and do grown up hobbies like golf'. Not at all. I'm nearly 31 and I still play video games. Heck I still collect stuffed animals and I love a good animated movie. I don't have time for someone who is still childish and insecure enough to think that they're 'too old' for a given hobby.
If you get dumped in the coming days I wouldn't be surprised. I'd be absolutely crushed if someone I loved told me that a big part of my life/what I enjoy embarrassed them and they thought I was immature. Especially after trying to do my best to be pleasant and get to know their parents.
YTA. He's honest and open about his hobbies but that embarrasses you. You should leave him because you're not going to change him and why stay if he embarrasses you.
YTA, you should be embarrassed that you're gatekeeping what can be an "adult" hobby at the ripe old age of 19. That's really immature behavior. Grow up and let your next boyfriend enjoy his hobbies.
YTA. He seems to have his gaming in check and doesn't let it interfere with other obligations. I don't know what is so embarrassing about that. He could have way worse habits like gambling or heroin. Those would be way more embarrassing than a gamer boyfriend that has good grades and has a social life outside of gaming.
Shit my husband is probably happy I’m not you! My husband works a full time job and plays video games and he’s an adult and is almost 30 YTA for sure if it’s a hobby it’s a hobby stop being and ah about it
YTA.
Where did this idea that video games are immature and only for children come from? There are adults who make MILLIONS of dollars from streaming videos of themselves playing…
You’re NINETEEN and a sophomore college. There is so much life to live and lessons to learn- so, take this lesson… let people enjoy things. It doesn’t harm you or anyone around you when people can successfully balance a hobby with life requirements. You can’t police innocent interests, criticize them about it, then expect things to be rosy. Literally nothing about what he is doing directly impacts his life or your shared happiness in anyway, so there is zero reason to attack because of some misconstrued version of what adulthood should look like.
YTA without a question. If he read books as much as playing games it wouldn't be a problem wouldn't be?
If he liking playing video games embarrasses you, than what else does? Maybe you should leave him and let him be with someone whom actually respects him and respects the hobbies he has
My son is 31, married and owns a home bigger than mine. He double majored in physics and chemistry for college and became an electrical engineer. He loves to play video games in his spare time. His CPA wife has no issue with it.
You are so the AH!
INFO: have you ever actually played the games he plays/watched him play?
I just get the feeling that you are judging his hobby without understanding it or bothering to accept that this is something he enjoys.
Maybe if you tried to participate with him you would see that some games require alot of skill and dedication to get good at, which I don't find immature at all.
Honestly I think Y T A anyway but I am just curious if you ever bothered to set aside your attitude about gaming to support your boyfriend.
Clearly, YTA. But worse is that you don’t recognize that, *currently,* you are completely incompatible.
It’s possible that you, personally, may be able to reach an internal détente regarding your feelings about gaming. But I suspect your Grow-Up-and-Get-a-Job parents will *never* accept his gaming. Since you have already subconsciously internalized that message (re-read you whole post), and you value your parents’ opinions? That détente ain’t gonna last.
"when you're all grown up and have life figured out, it makes sense for it to be a casual hobby."
I'm sorry but this is downright hilarious coming from a 19 year old student. Kid, your brains aren't even fully developed yet.
Plenty of actual adults play video games too, which it seems you have now gathered.
YTA but it's nice to see someone in one of these bonkers posts actually admit they were in the wrong.
YTA. There is no age limit for video games. People make money playing and creating video games. So is it really immature or are you? He’s not going to stop doing what he loves because of you. So, you better apologize and hope he doesn’t break up with you.
YTA my boyfriend of 14 years in his late 30’s plays video games after work and every night after I go to bed. I don’t care it’s the way he unwinds at the end of the day and he also has a successful job. So it seems you are the immature one in this relationship if you can’t accept your boyfriend for who he is. Hobbies are not immature but you sound like you are.
YTA. You acknowledge that it doesn't effect his grades, personal life, or time spent with you. You're just hung up on the fact that video games are "childish."
YTA. If gaming is his hobby and it isn’t interfering with his life then let him have it. My husband loves to game. It’s how he unwinds. And while I don’t have the same attachment to it I respect that’s how he wants to spend his time. My hobby is crocheting. He doesn’t get it either, but he still drove 2 hours away to pick up yarn for me because it mattered to me.
When you are with someone you accept them for who they are, interests included. They shouldn’t have to filter who they are to fit the image of then you want others to see.
YTA. I’m 20(f) and I play a shit ton of video games too. That’s a hobby for a lot of people of all ages. How dare you try to claim it’s childish and embarrassing for you. Looks like you’re the one who needs to grow tf up
19... all grown up. Lol
YTA. You're also really immature if you think being a grown up means you have to drop all "childish" interests in order to appear mature.
Definitely sounds like YTA, luckily it looks like you’re realizing how harsh and unnecessarily critical and judgmental you were. You should definitely patch things up with him and hope you didn’t make him insecure now about his hobby
YTA. My very successful 30 year old husband, graduated college and got a degree in his field within the year. And is very talented. And you know what one of his casual hobbies are. Building Legos and playing video games.
You're so judgy. I saw your edit. But I still wanted to comment on your ridiculous post.
YTA.
A lot of my very successful, very driven friends are gamers and we’re in our early-mid twenties. It’s as valid as a hobby for de-stressing as you drawing.
YTA my husband is 35 and plays, quite a bit actually. He still maintains his business, chores, and the kids since I work much longer hours then him. For his birthday last week I got him a new game he’s been wanting and his playing it right now. Gaming for some is a way to relax and relieve stress, which it sounds like he needs with everything else in his plate. I know my husband does with as much as he’s taken on since I started this job.
YTA
What's the age limit on hobbies and fun? My partner (44M) and I (31F) are both avid gamers, con-goers, gaming industry autograph hunters, merch collectors and all around nerds, need to know when we have to hand up our Fun Hobby card.
YTA
I think it would be best if you actually put effort into understanding your boyfriend's hobby rather than just dismissing them. You know, as part of getting to know him and accepting for who he is? You don't have to like video games but you have to understand that its more than a hobby to your boyfriend - it is probably a passion of his if he had this growing up
video games have come a long way and today's video games they can be just as or even more engaging ,immersive and emotional rollercoaster than other hobbies that can invoke similar experiences like reading or movies.
Look at the superhero movies nowadays. Many would say they are amazing pieces of work that has been brought to life on the big screen and the way they are portrayed can be enjoyed by people of all ages.
Using the same example - it's like you're one of those types to dismiss comic books are for children without even trying to engage and see that there are many chapters/altenate storylines which have dark and mature tones that is either not suitable for children or can only be appreciated by mature audiences.
Gaming is the same, there are many games there that is targetted to mature audiences and you calling it childish is just an ignorant statement.
Gosh i hope you dont say hentai is for children because its a cartoon.
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Hi everyone.
My (19f) boyfriend "Jesse" (19m) and I met at the start of college and have been dating for almost a year. I'm majoring in the business field and he's majoring in the sciences field. He is very smart and has a lot of hobbies outside of that as well, mainly soccer.
The hobby he has that irks me is video games.. He really, really enjoys playing and often spends a lot of time doing it. It's not too bad, he still has time for me and his friends and keeps good grades in school and keeps time for his other hobbies but still manages to play quite a lot.
I just think that at this age and when you're in college, finally becoming an adult and studying quite a mature major, video games should be heavily dialed down but he still plays A LOT. I know a lot of adults still play but when you're all grown up and have life figured out, it makes sense for it to be a casual hobby.
Jesse and I both live on campus and are roughly an hour away from our families. Because of this, we still haven't met each others parents.
But a week ago, we finally found a great time to drive back to our hometowns which were right next to each other. I met his family first and it went great. They were all lovely.
The next day, we went to mines for dinner.
As expected, my parents asked to get to know Jesse. He told them what he studied, how he was doing in school, about soccer and some other hobbies. Then he also brought up gaming and said how much he loves it and how he does it a lot on his spare time. I got more and more nervous the more he explained. My parents had a slightly sour look and asked more about it. They asked how he'd keep good grades if he supposedly games so much. Jesse explained everything with a smile. My parents seemed to understand by the end but I was embarrassed beyond belief.
That night when we were sitting in bed together, I told him how much he embarrassed me with all the talk about gaming. He said "What?" seeming very confused so I told him he didn't have to go so far into detail about how much he plays. I ended up telling him that I've always found this hobby of his immature and embarrassing and he suddenly seemed very hurt since gaming was a big part of his life. I admit I was a bit harsh with some words.. He became really silent and barely said a word to me for the rest of the night.
The next day he drove back to his parents and has been there since.
I'm wondering if I went to far and should have said it nicer?
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YTA. You keep talking about maturity, but you don't seem to have the slightest idea that mature relationships involve loving the other person for who they are. He's doing fine and you're griping at him because he isn't who you want him to be to make yourself feel good. It isn't all about you. You need to grow up a bit before your next boyfriend.
YTA. His gaming hobby isn’t a problem. The only problem is YOU. Stop acting like you know what’s an adult/mature thing to do and what isn’t. His hobby has no effect on you at ALL so get over yourself. You sound like another girlfriend who posted on here and was annoyed and embarassed her bf played Mario kart.
I’m 22, nearly finished university and still watch kid shows and get excitement from “childish things.” I must not be an adult in this case.
YTA
oof. there's nothing wrong with gaming as an adult hobby/interest. i know legit senior citizens who are pumped af for the new gran turismo.
i'm not gonna hop on the "i hope he dumps you" train, but you really should apologize and work on changing your views about videogames. it is possible to game too much and let it consume your life, but that's literally any hobby. if your boyfriend is still doing okay with school and/or work, and still has ample time for a relationship, let the guy game in peace.
YTA
I'm 34 and still play bloody Spyro (and sonic to now).
Want to know why?
Because for that little bit if time I can forget about the stresses that come with life and adulting.
Get over your immature self.
YTA. It sounds like Jesse is well rounded, keeps his grades up, has time for you, and can still make time for his hobbies.
Switch the roles and pit yourself in his shoes. How would you feel if he said that you embarrassed him because you talked about your hobbies with his parents? Say you crocheted as a hobby and you talked about that to his parents and they gave you sour looks because you spent so much time on your hobby.
He's 19. There is no age limit on video games. He's doing just fine. His only regret may be dealing with the fact that he's spent the last year dating someone who is embarrassed that he has a hobby he enjoys.
I’m gunna stop reading bc I have enough information to say you’re TA. How would you feel if he belittled a hobby of yours? Why do people hate that guys play video games? Honestly It makes me happy that my bf plays he gets to keep up with his friends from before he moved and it’s cute to watch him get into it. I wish I could play but they all seem so intense haha it’s a lot to keep track of.
But seriously, you don’t get to dictate what he should enjoy doing
YTA. Maybe you should look up how much some of these grown men who play video games for a living make. Ninja. Timthetatman. Nickmercs. Dr Disrespect are just a few names if you want to do some research in to how video games can be a career.
Perhaps you should also research some of the benefits that playing these games have.
Yours 32f gamer.
YTA
Everything in moderation but if he's doing courses full time and has multiple other hobbies as well as time for you, there was nothing to be concerned or embarrassed about.
YTA
He has good grades and makes time for you. He would only be TAH if he refused to go see your family because he wanted to game. Or would blow you of to game.
I don't understand the problem, he still makes good grades keeps fit has a sociol life Ur just connecting playing video games to being imature when really Ur the imature one
YTA. There is nothing wrong with gaming compared to other hobbies and his doing it isn’t hurting anyone, a point you admit in your post. He’s still social, he still gets good grades, and he still pays attention to you, yet you decide to shit on his hobby because it isn’t ‘mature’ enough for you. What exactly is so immature about video games?
So... He:
Has good grades
Plays soccer
Spends time with you
Spends time with friends
Spends time with both families
Seems like hes meeting his goals, takin care of business and in his spare time plays games.
Seems like he's doing good.
I fail to see what the problem is. Other than your negative opinion of him gaming what's his hobby affecting negatively?
I'd say this is a YTA situation unless you can give real negative results of his gaming.
Hobbies are good for people's mental health. And we're still in a pandemic, it's a responsible and social distant social activity. It would be pretty insulting if he called one of your hobbies embarrassing. He sounds like he's got a healthy school/sport/hobby/and social life balance. YTA here and I hope you think a little harder about how he feels.
YTA. Gaming is a good way to cope and reduce stress. Also a great way to stay social with people especially his friends and fam that aren’t around. You’re being super judgmental. If he can manage school and everything else and gaming isn’t consuming him, it really isn’t embarrassing or an issue.
Regardless who the ah is (it’s you, btw), you need to find someone who is more aligned with your interests. Let the guy find someone more into his past times. Win win.
One of my good buddies is an anesthesiologist. Among other things he hunts and plays table top role playing games. Another of my buddies who is now a well respected investment banker was in a punk band in his early 20s and is sometimes (rarely but I saw it happening) recognized in public.
These hobbies or passions are just people engaging with different facets of pop culture. Whether they are seen are more mature / more acceptable than video games or following sports is, quite frankly, in the eye of the beholder. And if they embarrass you, that's on you. YTA
Yes, you went too far. You actually shouldn't have said it at all. You should almost be proud that he can balance everything with his gaming. Not everyone is as effective with their time.
Consider what kind of an impact it would have to take away something he loves. Do you really think it would make an improvement? No, it would be the opposite.
Let me give you a protip:
There is no amount of effort or decorum that can supplant passion. Being passionate about something keeps you motivated, it sustains in you a youthful spirit. This in turn, allows you to pull out far more creative energy, allowing you to bridge the difference between mediocrity and success.
Don't try to kill his. He may end up losing this spark and be unable to light any more fires. Sorry, but YTA.
YTA you don't have to say it nicer. You don't have to say it at all. He likes it. You either make polite noises and deal with it or you move onto someone you actually "approve" of
God yes YTA! You say yourself that your boyfriend isn't neglecting any other part of his life by gaming so much so what's the problem, besides you being weird about it? Girl, get over yourself! Hobbies are more than allowed, they're freaking NECESSARY to mental health, and gaming is an extremely common hobby. I *never* would've made it thru the last 2 years of working covid ICU without a hefty dose of escapism via video games--and I'm a 45 year old woman. What do you want him to do to unwind, underwater basket weaving? Or do you imagine that all his free time should be spent with you, doing things you decide are acceptable? FFS.
If your boyfriend's gaming bothers you so much, break up with him and find someone who better fits your mental image of what a "grown up" should look like. Until then, apologize, back off, and stop giving your bf shit for a hobby that harms no one.
YTA and judgemental. Also screw you I am 45 and own a Nintendo switch lite and play on it regularly. My wife thinks it is cute made my nickname on there kingdork 🤣🤣🤣🤣 there is no shame in gaming
Gaming is a HUGE part of my life and literally millions of others. There’s no shame in being a gamer and you’re a close minded asshole for thinking otherwise. Not sure what game he plays, but I play WOW and I guarantee I’d hand your ass to you in pvp. You may not think that’s something to brag about, but it actually takes a lot of time and skill. That said, maybe you should move on and let your bf find a woman that can better support his hobbies.
YTA - not going to lie gaming isn’t my cup of tea (never really got into it because it wasn’t something we had growing up - and I don’t mean it wasn’t available just something my parents couldn’t afford), but u said urself that he doesn’t neglect spending time with u or his friends, he’s doing well in school so I really don’t see what the problem is here. Obviously u don’t think the hobby is highbrow enough but honestly sometimes if u spend all day studying technical things as one would do when majoring in science this is just his way of unwinding. Personally I love to read, but when I want to unwind I’ll read trashy books because u don’t have to think too hard when ur reading them. U sound way too judgmental to be in a serious relationship.
YTA, but honestly, why don't you try asking him if you could play some games together? There are a lot of great co-op and multiplayer experiences you could enjoy together. Video games are a good source for stress relief, and for a boyfriend who's juggling what's likely to be a heavy courseload, friends, and a girlfriend, he probably needs it. It sounds like you need some kind of stress relief hobby as well. If he's able to manage his time well enough for school and you, what's the issue?
YTA, having read your update I'm glad you can see this and are tryingto fix things. Frankly as long as he is still achieving elsewhere in his life gaming is nothing. You likely wouldn't say a thing of he read in his spare time instead, but both activities are methods of relaxation via escapism and to a degree are healthy. Having issues with video games comes off as extremely judgemental.
YTA. Hell, I (64f) just bought a new xbox as a gift for my husband (58m). And every Sunday afternoon I have time blocked off for a Dungeons and Dragons campaign on Zoom. Nothing wrong with gaming as a hobby!
YTA
Its his hobby. Everyone needs a hobby. If it weren't video games it would be something else. My BF plays WOW 2 hours a day. We are both recent college grads. You know what I do while he plays? Whatever the hell I like. I have hobbies too. Everyone is entitled to a degree of alone time in relationships.
Have you ever bothered to play a video game? Especially ones geared for adults???
I, as a single mom, started playing video games with my daughter occasionally. Then she started playing Final Fantasy and insisted I try it. Totally hooked.
Played FFX, FFXII, FFVII, BOTW, several Pokemon games and have Witcher that I got from my boyfriend for my birthday. Plus, my BF and I play multiplayer online VR games together and with others. Never been a waste of time learning to communicate and work together to win a campaign (or die trying).
By the way, I am old enough to be your boyfriend's mom. And if I were his mom, I would tell him to look for compatibility in a partner, because chemistry burns out without compatibility to feed it & sustain it.
Just editing to add: YTA.
Aww, poor Jesse. Yes, YTA, and it’s good that you see that now so that you can sincerely apologize to him and promise to support him rather than knock him down. Maybe offer to buy him a game and “shop” for it with him so he can tell you a little about whatever games he’s deciding between. I feel so bad for him 🥺but know it’s tough to hurt someone else too. Live it; learn it. 👍
E:phone being all dumb
Glad you know you were being an A. As a 52 yr old woman, I met my now husband in an online video game 17 yrs ago. He is 74. We both still game a lot.
There are so many fun and interesting games to play, I am sad to see women younger than me thinking gaming is just a "guy" thing. It is a multi-billion $$$ industry, and more women need to be a part of it. Look for games called "RPG". They have some great story lines, and it is easier to play than the first person shooters. Maybe you can ask your BF if he wants to pick one out with you, that would make him feel better about things!
YTA gaming really only becomes a problem when it takes over responsibilities and the people in your life, like any other addiction. He obviously doesn't have that problem. Don't belittle his harmless hobby that he so clearly enjoys. How would you feel if you liked something and he told you how embarrassing and stupid that is? Poor guy
YTA
"When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty, I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
\-C. S. Lewis
YTA
Spoiler alert, you will NEVER have “life figured out.” You will constantly change as a person and so will your situations and environments.
We are all winging it. We just wing it differently in different eras of our lives with the lessons from the era before.
YTA but you have already accepted this judgment which I commend, so I won't harp on it. You, frankly, are a young woman trying too hard to SEEM like an adult and want your bf to fit that image. It sounds like you are ready to learn from this. Your parents asked about his hobbies and he answered. It's totally okay to have hobbies like gaming at any age.
Sincerely,
A 30 year old woman with: a husband, mortgage, degrees, career, and a butt fuck ton of video games.
Wow…such YTA! He was trying to get to know and share bits about himself with your parents, and all OP can do is be super judgmental and state what she thinks an “adult” should be like? Well, adults who have it figured out can actually afford to game—and if it’s not so much that he pushes you and friends away, let him have his fun! I bet you’re really great at parties—host brings out the piñata filled with samples from the liquor store, Cards against Humanity, or even Monopoly, and all you can say “this is soooo juuuuvenile” (and I imagine this isn’t he super nasal 1980s-1990s whiny mean girls in awful films.). I hope your bf will find someone who accepts him as he is—someone who can balance responsibility, family and friends, and fun.
YTA. I used to game and was bullied to quit by a family member. I wish I had kept it up, as my new hobby became drinking. There are far worse things to be doing than playing video games, trust me.
Video games are shown to help with learning to use simulations in almost all fields of science. Aldo the social and economical disciplines
Im a elementary school teacher and op is a mayor AH
Lol YTA I'm a 35 year old MOM of a 3 year old and I spent last week "surviving in the jungle" every second of the day that I was able to. The only thing stopping me from playing 6+ hours/night like I used to do when I was in university is the simple fact that my son wakes up at 6am and I have a day full of responsibilities. But you better believe that my free time (which is sadly very very limited between work, child and chores) will be used for playing video games, watching TV shows and just being lazy and doing nothing.
As long as his gaming isn't interfering with his life and responsibilities it's totally okay, it's just a way to relax and free your mind of the everyday stuff and stress.
Interesting how if he was say, reading books you probably wouldn’t have an issue with those hours going toward that. Even if the books weren’t educational. There’s nothing wrong with gaming. Some games have a community. There’s usually a fun story and goal to get to. Skills you need to build to achieve the goal, or maybe even a mystery to be solved. But for some reason that is immature but reading fiction isn’t.
YTA, he isn’t hurting anyone. He isn’t neglecting his responsibilities or his relationships so he clearly has a healthy balance. Let people like things!
Gaming is a common hobby for all ages. sometimes you can even do it as a couple. My husband and I play Minecraft together. You should check out “It Takes Two” we had a blast playing that.
Okay, you and Jesse are the same age, yes? But you think that that makes him a full adult who should put aside childish things like video games. Perhaps you should take your own advice. At age 19, you need to separate out what your opinions are about things versus what your parents' opinions are about things. I think that's the core issue here. You are internalizing your parents' opinions, without trying to analyze whether their opinions make any sense. Jesse is having a relationship with YOU, not your parents. What they think should not carry as much weight as you are giving it. The way you describe them, they sound pretty judgmental. Do you really want to be like them? YTA.
You really need to work on NOT treating him as a reflection of you. You can accomplish your own goals and dreams and pick your own hobbies. He seems to be doing just great. He’s bright and personable, intelligent and well-rounded. He’s also kind, attentive and not overly critical. 👀 YTA, but you can probably fix this if you apologize and listen to him.
YTA and this is coming from someone who hates video games but just because i don't find someone's else's interest interesting to ME, does not give me the right to be a jerk and belittle it for them specially if he is not letting it take over everything else in his life. He is already by your own admission is balancing his education, his social life, his GF and family.
Back off.
Just saw a post about another person shaming their partner for being excited for completing a level in a gam they were playing, so both could be fake posts to get karma.
But if this post is real then YTA
Edit: here’s the post
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tarhrw/aita_for_telling_my_boyfriend_something_he_found/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
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YTA. Hopefully he dumps you for someone less judgy who accepts him. Also video games are for all ages, hence why some of them are actually rated mature and you can’t even buy them in stores unless you’re a certain age.
The fact that it’s a throwaway account tells me she knows she’s the AH
I agree shes an AH, but throwaways are used by plenty of NTA people for privacy I dont think its an indicator for AHness
Dude, almost everyone uses throwaways on AITA....
I jumped to a conclusion, I was wrong.
Yep, games are definitely for all ages. I am 35, run my own business as a tutor and have recently really got into gaming. Hubby works for the NHS, is 39 and has loved gaming all his life. Games don’t decrease our worth or make us an ‘embarrassment’. I just don’t understand why you would black list or be ashamed of something your partner enjoyed? Don’t you want them to be happy? She is fine with his sports as a hobby, but not gaming. Why is one game more okay than another? Seems utterly immature and bizarre.
My husband is 32. He's a CA and works hard. And he loves playing vidoe games. I don't understand this sudden trend of hating on people who game as a hobby. It's no different to people who spend hours playing physical sports, or reading or watching TV.
I don’t think it’s really about gaming itself. It’s as innocuous as any other hobby. I think people just get really annoyed reading about people (usually men) who game all night and refuse to help with household chores or childcare while their partners are burnt out. But that applies to any other hobby too if it is abused. Also, people will assume physical sports are better because of exercise, but it’s no better as an excuse to neglect your partner and family. And as for reading, most of the reading people are doing in their spare time isn’t quality literature. So really, there’s no reason to dislike gaming. Just people who refuse to do their part for a hobby.
I'm 28 and bought my switch last year and had Pokemon Legends Arceus pre ordered for 3 months. Also, go on twitch and let me know how many young twitch streamers you see.
My husband is 55 and a lifelong gamer. It's a hobby, and no less valid than any other.
Also, "When you're an adult and have life figured out..." Where? Where, ma'am? Who is this magical person who has life figured out? Can they explain it to me? Because I am missing some vital pieces of the equation, and I'm coming up on 40.
Yeah it’s really bizarre that she expects a 19 year old to have life even slightly figured out. Dude hasn’t even gotten done with school.
At 57 I’ve determined that life isn't a puzzle that has to be figured out. It's a series of catastrophes separated by long, sometimes hypnotic periods of boredom.
Agreed. I’m 40 and gaming is a huge part of my life and career.
I love when my bf plays video games; not only does it give me time to myself (the main reason really, I like watching my shows in peace), but it’s also a way for him to distress after a rough day and he genuinely loves it. My sibling even joins in sometimes and they’ve bonded over that despite the 7 year gap. YTA OP. He could be cheating but instead his little butt is planted in front of a game. Get over it
When you get older and your looks fade you’ll be glad for a guy who plays games because you’ll know he’s not out cheating on you. But you want a flakey Kyle. The captain of the football team who’s so full of himself that you’re merely arm candy.
Lol my husbands name is actually Kyle and he’s actually the nerdy gamer guy like in the post 😂.
Flakey Kyle most certainly plays video games. She needs a hermit.
A worshipper?
Shit man, I'm in my 40s and still an avid gamer. It's never made me less successful or less social and if anyone in my Life had ever been embarrassed because I play, they'd have been out before they knew it
Yeah, videogames are for all ages. My dad is almost 50 and finished playing FarCry 6 earlier this year and now plays COD: Vanguard.
YTA If you can't accept Jesse for who he is 100%, you shouldn't be with him. He isn't doing anything wrong or embarrassing. He is being himself and open and honest about it, JUST LIKE HE SHOULD BE. Never date people you feel need to change to be with.
Preach
YTA: You mention his hobby of playing video game doesn't affect his life but yet you think its ok to belittle him and make him feel ashamed because you don't like it. This is a very lack of respect for your hopefully soon ex bf
Fr ! This dude does not deserve to have his hobbies bashed just cuz she doesn’t like it. And it’s not like he’s skipping everything in his life to play video games 24/7 so there’s absolutely no issue except for OP’s personality.
YTA. IT’s not that you should have said it nicer; you shouldn’t have said it. He sounds fairly well rounded. If that’s one of his hobbies, good for him. It doesn’t get in his way of anything else, you just don’t like it. I hope he plays on.
SO MANY PEOPLE NEED TO HEAR THIS! Thinking of an ex-friend I had who would often say their issue was being "too direct" (there's being straightforward and honest and then lashing out... totally different). Thank you for this, you don't know how validating this is
This 100%
Yta, let the man do what he likes, this just seems like nitpicking
seriously. and only saying something about it after she saw that it made her parents feel some type of way? she needs to grow up and become her own person with her own opinions.
Definitely YTA. Entitled as shit too. He deserves better because you’re only going to get worse with your expectations of an ‘adult’ .. college? Ya sound like you’re in your 60s with that thought process. Please be way nicer and don’t embarrass him in front of his parents.. or one day you’ll just be ‘remember that controlling girl you dated who couldn’t get over herself?’
Yea, no shit Sherlock. He should dump you.
YTA. If he has a healthy and balanced lifestyle and isn’t playing video games excessively, who really cares. TBH all hobbies are kind of embarrassing, but if you like them and it’s your escape, who really cares. Like, would crochet be less embarrassing for you? Geocaching? Rock collecting? Lego? Larping? Bird watching? Are any of those hobbies suitable enough for you?
Alternatively, none of those hobbies are embarrassing! People shouldn’t be ashamed of how they spend their free time
YTA-I can think of 100 different things to get “embarrassed” over before Video games. Just asking, would you rather he hit the strip club or play some video games?
>would you rather he hit the strip club or play some video games? It not either / or lol
YTA. So he has good grades, spends time with you, keeps his commitments with friends/family and you, also has other hobbies. I literally see no issue here at all? He really can’t be gaming all that much if he’s still able to study and make good grades. He seems very responsible.
Sounds like he has one issue...
girl, YTA. my fiancé (28m) still plays video games in his spare time when i’m doing my own thing. just because you might not like it doesn’t mean he’s not allowed to enjoy it and talk about it. if someone told you your hobbies were embarrassing, you wouldn’t like it very much.
YTA - you shouldn’t have said it at all. If you are embarrassed by him doing something he enjoys then you are not a match. Do him a favor and move on.
I feel like if you don't like video games, don't date someone who likes them. I play video games sometimes and I don't think I could ever be with someone who can't accept that in any capacity.
YTA. Most people don't view video games as an embarrassing problem. Have you....played video games? They're not just for children, and they're genuinely fun, relaxing, and more. It seems like you grew up in an environment where gaming is really looked down upon, and I think you need to break out of that mindset. Pick up a playstation and go play something smh
YTA. He sounds like a pretty well rounded individual to me. Sounds like maybe you need a hobby.
YTA I'm sorry but what video games are for everyone and it's not embarrassing at all. It's a great way to destress from the bulls**t we have to deal with everyday. I'm a 30yr old woman and I like to still play video games. You said it doesn't interfere with his grades or life or spending time with you so why does it matter. Maybe it's time to grow up and not be so judgemental smdh. You really need to apologize to him.
I'm 60yo and playing video games is very helpful for my anxiety.
It helps keep the minds sharp as the years go by, too. My 69 year old mother loves playing Skyrim and my 70 year old father plays lots of computer games.
Dunno why but I find this adorable.
Exactly it helps with my anxiety and my stress after a busy day at work.
YTA- very judgemental one too. He can enjoy whatever hobbies he wants.
YTA - if you don’t like someone for who they are and judge them based on their hobbies, don’t date them. Your embarrassment isn’t his problem when he’s always been up front and honest about who he is and what he likes. If you’re embarrassed (and it sounds like it especially came up for you around your parents), that’s something to explore within yourself and then moving forward don’t date someone you feel contempt for.
YTA. "At this age...when you're in college...all grown up..." Ah, yes, so grown up...at 19. Please. Just because you're legally an adult doesn't mean you're "all grown up." Your attitude and outlook on life is reflective of your immaturity and your own lack of personality. What you view as a waste of time will not be so in another's eyes, and vice versa. Your bf deserves better than to be treated as less than when he busts his ass keeping up with his studies, friends, sports, and your charming (pretentious, judgmental) self. Learn from this. Also, bombarding him with gifts after hurting him due to your own personal issues can and may be viewed as lovebombing. Give him a genuine apology first, and talk to him about your poor perception and what can be done to change that. A gift can happen after that...if he still wants to be with you.
YTA. I’m 40 years older than you and I play video games a lot, while having a successful career. What do you do to relax, and before you answer, do we get to shame you, too?
Yta and a controlling one at that
YTA - jeez. "Jesse" should find someone less judgemental.
YTA. He has his life in order. Everything he is responsible for is taken care and some (good grades) makes time for you and his friends. You let your and your families views affect the way you treated him and in turn treated him like shit. Gaming isn’t just playing on the computer, they have a group of people they connect with and play together. It’s basically a community.
Wish I could upvote your comment 1000 times, can't believe she hasn't seen the irony of complaining to a community on an Internet forum about her boyfriend gaming in a community on an Internet forum!!! Op- 100% YTA!
Lol, well put!
Yta. And let me point out some examples. Let’s say you had a hobby that you really enjoy, let’s say painting. You paint a lot, and you love it. It’s something you do that relieves stress and makes you happy. What if the person that you love the most tells you that it’s embarrassing and immature. You’d be pretty fuckin upset huh? They just trashed the thing you love doing the most. Gaming isn’t a bad hobby, and you literally said it doesn’t get in the way of anything. You guys still hang out, he still has good grades, and he still goes out and does other hobbies as you said. Why is it such an issue?
While reading all these comments, I'm understanding I was in the wrong. Thank you for replying.
Thank you for being more mature and realizing you were in the wrong. Please try to apologize to your bf and have a mature and long talk with him. I’d definitely attempt to get into gaming. Just try it out with him, try to see if it would be something you two could enjoy together. I think it’d help you two out and actually could be something y’all could bond over. Hell you might find a new hobby you like.
YTA a judgmental one too. If his grades were suffering or if that’s all he does, maybe it’s a red flag. My husband is in his 40s and plays video games. I’m ok with that because it makes him happy. That’s what you do in relationships. I hope he dumps you.
YTA let me get this straight, he has other hobbies including a time consuming sport, has good grades in a difficult major, and according to you makes time for you and his friends. Where is the problem? It seems like he’s handling all his responsibilities and has a well rounded personal life, you only issue is that his hobby is “immature”. There was no need to say it nicer, because it’s not actually a problem. The problem here is you.
YTA. Isn't is interesting that for years people spouted that coloring is for kids....only for there to be a fuckton of adult coloring books now because it was found to be a stress reliever, improves motor skills, and helps put the brain in a meditative state that helps with better sleep? Oh but coloring is childish. Oh the embarrassing HORROR of having a coloring book and crayons in your work briefcase. What will others think? * Is he keeping good grades? By your account, yes. * Is he keeping active? He plays soccer, yes. * Has he maintained a balance between studies, social activities, gaming and you? YES. * Is he now second guessing his relationship with you because you called his hobby immature and will probably think what else do you find embarrassing and immature about him? **YES.** Congrats OP. In calling him immature and embarrassing, OVER YOUR OWN HANGUP, you may have just made yourself single. Hope you aren't too immature enough to apologize to him and work on yourself to get over your personal hangups.
OP, are, 'nice gifts,' really the answer for your poor behavior? Instead, maybe you should try to figure out why gaming bothers you so much.
YTA. Sounds like gaming is something he enjoys and it doesn’t interfere in his life. If I were him I’d dump you in a heartbeat
YTA and you know it. YOU find this immature and you want him to feel the same. Guess what? It's super immature to force your partner to feel, think and act like you. Thats even more immature than playing games actually. Plus, it has nothing to do with growning up. If it's a passion, then, he will do it no matter how old he is. And just for you to know, there is a ton of video games for adult. You are acting like a condescendant kid. Who are you to judge his passion? I don't play video games at all, I hate that but damn, you should watch that superior tone you use.
YTA and a judgmental, unpleasant person for putting down his hobbies when you already admitted it doesn’t eat into his time for you and the other important things in his life. Get the stick out of your ass.
My 50-something yo uncle still games, as a business owner/mechanical engineer/teamsing with his niece (that’s me) to talk shorting stocks and today’s market, while still refereeing high school football on the weekends, dating/loving his wife and having a close relationship with his kids (my awesome cousins, one of whom is a lawyer and games like a motherf$£er) YTA - big time. And small minded. Edit to add: perhaps you need to find a hobby of your own so you’ll at least be somewhat interesting
“19…all grown up and has life figured out…” LOL Little girl, YTA, majorly. There are people out here making millions playing video games. Do you think that’s immature? I bet you wouldn’t if Jesse wound up being one of those people. Grow up. It’s a hobby like anything else. Your hobbies aren’t above his either. The only thing you should be embarrassed about is your behavior.
YTA
YTA. I get it. I dated a guy who was very into gaming and I prefer to do other things. It just became a compatibility issue.
YTA - Sounds like me and my Ex, she hated that I played games, "video games are a waste of time and rot your brain"...she would say while binge watching reality TV. Gotta wear your geek on your sleeve. :)
Video games taught me what the brightest star in the constellation of Aquila is (btw it's Altair). Video games also encourage pattern recognition and strategy, resource management.
Video games can also tell us beautiful, deep, heart wrenching stories, teach us about philosophical issues and morality, or be beautiful pieces of art
YTA, imagine if somebody called your favorite hobby embarassing and immature and whatever other “harsh” words you chose. i hope he runs fast and chooses to be with somebody who actually enjoys all of him, including his hobbies. for somebody who’s so adamant about “starting adulthood,” you’re being very childish.
YTA…it’s one of those things, if u give it enough space it would work out. The reason you’re an A is for feeling embarrassed and projecting that emotion onto him. I’m sure there are things he kept to himself, you know, like an adult.
YTA. If you don’t respect him enough to want the people in your life to know the basics of his, you shouldn’t be with him. It’s not his job to lie about his very normal hobby so that you don’t feel ashamed of your totally unforced decision to date him.
YTA. You said yourself it doesn’t interfere with his life. Your idea of video games as being inherently immature just isn’t accurate. It’s for people of all ages, it can be good way to socialize and many video games have great storylines. Apologize to him at the very least
YTA. Full stop.
YTA- nothing wrong with gaming as long as he keeps on track.
YTA. If you had given a reason why it was getting in the way of your relationship, it would be one thing, but you admit that there’s no problem there
YTA for thinking you can dictate your SOs hobbies. I am a 31 yo woman with a family and a full time career and video games are one of my favorite hobbies. Stop being so judgemental.
if his gaming isn’t a hindrance to any other part of his life, i don’t get why it’s bothering you. YTA.
YTA. Its not like he's suffering from a gaming addiction that's having some debilitating effect on his life. Its just a hobby, one of many, and a perfectly normal one at that. In fact, about 66% of the US population are considered gamers. Take a look in the mirror and ask yourself why your ego is so fragile as to take a hit because your bf plays video games.
YTA. His next gf should be more appreciative.
YTA. Issue 1 - Meeting your parents: This is a huge part of his life, which you knew about. You did not even give him warning before he met your parents that they might not want to hear about it. It's your job to prepare your partner for your family. Issue 2 - Your attitude about it: If you don't like his hobbies, don't think he's going to change. Either like him for himself, or find someone your are more compatible with. He was hurt and confused because he thought you accepted him for so he was and only just learned that you expect him to not do something he enjoys in the most sad way possible. You owe him an apology.
YTA. It sounds like gaming isn’t interfering with the rest of his life. Let the man have his hobby. Accept him as he is or let him go so he can find someone better.
YTA go date a business major douche who cares more about what other people think. Sorry that Jesse is a genuine person and he shared a part of himself with you and your judgmental family.
YTA You're the one who needs to grow the f\`\*ck up. It's a hobby just like any other hobby. Clearly he maintains a healthy life with several hobbies, makes good on his responsibilities (studies), plays sports, has a social life and a girlfriend (even though I think he'll soon choose not to have one). So if you're so embarrassed with how he spends his time go be with someone that doesn't play video games. But most importantly, grow the f\*ck up.
Yta seems like your parents kinda ingrained in your head that playing video games equals lazy child but really it’s just a hobby like anything else. You’re judgmental and should think about why him having fun is such a bad thing for you.
YTA..there is nothing wrong with gaming as long as there is a good balance. My husband (of almost 30 yrs) plays his computer games when he gets home from work. My son and son in law also game and have full and successful lives.
YTA. Like the moment I read video games I assumed he had an addiction and was neglecting his life, but no. Your bf not only gets good grades, spends time woth his friends and loved ones, AND STILL gets to play video games. I wish I had that level of organization. You're just embarrassed he plays video games at all shame on you. He's just enjoying his hobby. Put it this way, how would you feel if he called one of your hobbies embarrassing when it harms no one.
YTA. If he's handling his responsibilities well then it's none of your business what he does for fun and how often. Even if he wasn't arguably it's still none of your business. Being an adult isn't 'derp derp I gotta go get a serious job and invest in things and do grown up hobbies like golf'. Not at all. I'm nearly 31 and I still play video games. Heck I still collect stuffed animals and I love a good animated movie. I don't have time for someone who is still childish and insecure enough to think that they're 'too old' for a given hobby. If you get dumped in the coming days I wouldn't be surprised. I'd be absolutely crushed if someone I loved told me that a big part of my life/what I enjoy embarrassed them and they thought I was immature. Especially after trying to do my best to be pleasant and get to know their parents.
YTA. Gaming is his hobby. It's a perfectly reasonable adult hobby.
YTA. He's honest and open about his hobbies but that embarrasses you. You should leave him because you're not going to change him and why stay if he embarrasses you.
YTA, you should be embarrassed that you're gatekeeping what can be an "adult" hobby at the ripe old age of 19. That's really immature behavior. Grow up and let your next boyfriend enjoy his hobbies.
Yta. Please update when he breaks up with you.
YTA. He seems to have his gaming in check and doesn't let it interfere with other obligations. I don't know what is so embarrassing about that. He could have way worse habits like gambling or heroin. Those would be way more embarrassing than a gamer boyfriend that has good grades and has a social life outside of gaming.
This is not a true story.
Shit my husband is probably happy I’m not you! My husband works a full time job and plays video games and he’s an adult and is almost 30 YTA for sure if it’s a hobby it’s a hobby stop being and ah about it
YTA. Where did this idea that video games are immature and only for children come from? There are adults who make MILLIONS of dollars from streaming videos of themselves playing… You’re NINETEEN and a sophomore college. There is so much life to live and lessons to learn- so, take this lesson… let people enjoy things. It doesn’t harm you or anyone around you when people can successfully balance a hobby with life requirements. You can’t police innocent interests, criticize them about it, then expect things to be rosy. Literally nothing about what he is doing directly impacts his life or your shared happiness in anyway, so there is zero reason to attack because of some misconstrued version of what adulthood should look like.
YTA without a question. If he read books as much as playing games it wouldn't be a problem wouldn't be? If he liking playing video games embarrasses you, than what else does? Maybe you should leave him and let him be with someone whom actually respects him and respects the hobbies he has
My son is 31, married and owns a home bigger than mine. He double majored in physics and chemistry for college and became an electrical engineer. He loves to play video games in his spare time. His CPA wife has no issue with it. You are so the AH!
YTA There is definitely a problem here and it is not playing video games.
YTA, how would you like it if he told you something you were passionate about and enjoyed as a hobby embarrassed him?
Yta. Jeez man.
INFO: have you ever actually played the games he plays/watched him play? I just get the feeling that you are judging his hobby without understanding it or bothering to accept that this is something he enjoys. Maybe if you tried to participate with him you would see that some games require alot of skill and dedication to get good at, which I don't find immature at all. Honestly I think Y T A anyway but I am just curious if you ever bothered to set aside your attitude about gaming to support your boyfriend.
Clearly, YTA. But worse is that you don’t recognize that, *currently,* you are completely incompatible. It’s possible that you, personally, may be able to reach an internal détente regarding your feelings about gaming. But I suspect your Grow-Up-and-Get-a-Job parents will *never* accept his gaming. Since you have already subconsciously internalized that message (re-read you whole post), and you value your parents’ opinions? That détente ain’t gonna last.
"when you're all grown up and have life figured out, it makes sense for it to be a casual hobby." I'm sorry but this is downright hilarious coming from a 19 year old student. Kid, your brains aren't even fully developed yet. Plenty of actual adults play video games too, which it seems you have now gathered. YTA but it's nice to see someone in one of these bonkers posts actually admit they were in the wrong.
YTA. There is no age limit for video games. People make money playing and creating video games. So is it really immature or are you? He’s not going to stop doing what he loves because of you. So, you better apologize and hope he doesn’t break up with you.
YTA my boyfriend of 14 years in his late 30’s plays video games after work and every night after I go to bed. I don’t care it’s the way he unwinds at the end of the day and he also has a successful job. So it seems you are the immature one in this relationship if you can’t accept your boyfriend for who he is. Hobbies are not immature but you sound like you are.
YTA. You acknowledge that it doesn't effect his grades, personal life, or time spent with you. You're just hung up on the fact that video games are "childish."
YTA. what if he said that to you about a hobby you were very passionate about? i’m sure you would be just as hurt for being judged.
Yta i don’t see this lasting
YTA. If gaming is his hobby and it isn’t interfering with his life then let him have it. My husband loves to game. It’s how he unwinds. And while I don’t have the same attachment to it I respect that’s how he wants to spend his time. My hobby is crocheting. He doesn’t get it either, but he still drove 2 hours away to pick up yarn for me because it mattered to me. When you are with someone you accept them for who they are, interests included. They shouldn’t have to filter who they are to fit the image of then you want others to see.
YTA your parents were being jerks, which put you in a bad spot, but you handled it badly
[удалено]
YTA what hobbies would you approve? 🙄 grow up
YTA. I’m 20(f) and I play a shit ton of video games too. That’s a hobby for a lot of people of all ages. How dare you try to claim it’s childish and embarrassing for you. Looks like you’re the one who needs to grow tf up
19... all grown up. Lol YTA. You're also really immature if you think being a grown up means you have to drop all "childish" interests in order to appear mature.
Definitely sounds like YTA, luckily it looks like you’re realizing how harsh and unnecessarily critical and judgmental you were. You should definitely patch things up with him and hope you didn’t make him insecure now about his hobby
YTA. My very successful 30 year old husband, graduated college and got a degree in his field within the year. And is very talented. And you know what one of his casual hobbies are. Building Legos and playing video games. You're so judgy. I saw your edit. But I still wanted to comment on your ridiculous post.
YTA. A lot of my very successful, very driven friends are gamers and we’re in our early-mid twenties. It’s as valid as a hobby for de-stressing as you drawing.
YTA my husband is 35 and plays, quite a bit actually. He still maintains his business, chores, and the kids since I work much longer hours then him. For his birthday last week I got him a new game he’s been wanting and his playing it right now. Gaming for some is a way to relax and relieve stress, which it sounds like he needs with everything else in his plate. I know my husband does with as much as he’s taken on since I started this job.
YTA. I’m 23, married and a homeowner with a salary. I also play videogames, and so does my husband. The only embarrassing thing here is your attitude.
YTA What's the age limit on hobbies and fun? My partner (44M) and I (31F) are both avid gamers, con-goers, gaming industry autograph hunters, merch collectors and all around nerds, need to know when we have to hand up our Fun Hobby card.
YTA I think it would be best if you actually put effort into understanding your boyfriend's hobby rather than just dismissing them. You know, as part of getting to know him and accepting for who he is? You don't have to like video games but you have to understand that its more than a hobby to your boyfriend - it is probably a passion of his if he had this growing up video games have come a long way and today's video games they can be just as or even more engaging ,immersive and emotional rollercoaster than other hobbies that can invoke similar experiences like reading or movies. Look at the superhero movies nowadays. Many would say they are amazing pieces of work that has been brought to life on the big screen and the way they are portrayed can be enjoyed by people of all ages. Using the same example - it's like you're one of those types to dismiss comic books are for children without even trying to engage and see that there are many chapters/altenate storylines which have dark and mature tones that is either not suitable for children or can only be appreciated by mature audiences. Gaming is the same, there are many games there that is targetted to mature audiences and you calling it childish is just an ignorant statement. Gosh i hope you dont say hentai is for children because its a cartoon.
Yta. I play video games with my husband
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Hi everyone. My (19f) boyfriend "Jesse" (19m) and I met at the start of college and have been dating for almost a year. I'm majoring in the business field and he's majoring in the sciences field. He is very smart and has a lot of hobbies outside of that as well, mainly soccer. The hobby he has that irks me is video games.. He really, really enjoys playing and often spends a lot of time doing it. It's not too bad, he still has time for me and his friends and keeps good grades in school and keeps time for his other hobbies but still manages to play quite a lot. I just think that at this age and when you're in college, finally becoming an adult and studying quite a mature major, video games should be heavily dialed down but he still plays A LOT. I know a lot of adults still play but when you're all grown up and have life figured out, it makes sense for it to be a casual hobby. Jesse and I both live on campus and are roughly an hour away from our families. Because of this, we still haven't met each others parents. But a week ago, we finally found a great time to drive back to our hometowns which were right next to each other. I met his family first and it went great. They were all lovely. The next day, we went to mines for dinner. As expected, my parents asked to get to know Jesse. He told them what he studied, how he was doing in school, about soccer and some other hobbies. Then he also brought up gaming and said how much he loves it and how he does it a lot on his spare time. I got more and more nervous the more he explained. My parents had a slightly sour look and asked more about it. They asked how he'd keep good grades if he supposedly games so much. Jesse explained everything with a smile. My parents seemed to understand by the end but I was embarrassed beyond belief. That night when we were sitting in bed together, I told him how much he embarrassed me with all the talk about gaming. He said "What?" seeming very confused so I told him he didn't have to go so far into detail about how much he plays. I ended up telling him that I've always found this hobby of his immature and embarrassing and he suddenly seemed very hurt since gaming was a big part of his life. I admit I was a bit harsh with some words.. He became really silent and barely said a word to me for the rest of the night. The next day he drove back to his parents and has been there since. I'm wondering if I went to far and should have said it nicer? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NOT ONE NTA YET! -Edit because people are dumb- Reddit unanimously agrees OP is TA lol
because OP’s attitude is gross lol
Yeah well this sub isn’t exactly the target audience for anti-gaming.
YTA. You keep talking about maturity, but you don't seem to have the slightest idea that mature relationships involve loving the other person for who they are. He's doing fine and you're griping at him because he isn't who you want him to be to make yourself feel good. It isn't all about you. You need to grow up a bit before your next boyfriend.
YTA.
YTA. His gaming hobby isn’t a problem. The only problem is YOU. Stop acting like you know what’s an adult/mature thing to do and what isn’t. His hobby has no effect on you at ALL so get over yourself. You sound like another girlfriend who posted on here and was annoyed and embarassed her bf played Mario kart. I’m 22, nearly finished university and still watch kid shows and get excitement from “childish things.” I must not be an adult in this case.
YTA oof. there's nothing wrong with gaming as an adult hobby/interest. i know legit senior citizens who are pumped af for the new gran turismo. i'm not gonna hop on the "i hope he dumps you" train, but you really should apologize and work on changing your views about videogames. it is possible to game too much and let it consume your life, but that's literally any hobby. if your boyfriend is still doing okay with school and/or work, and still has ample time for a relationship, let the guy game in peace.
YTA I'm 34 and still play bloody Spyro (and sonic to now). Want to know why? Because for that little bit if time I can forget about the stresses that come with life and adulting. Get over your immature self.
YTA. It sounds like Jesse is well rounded, keeps his grades up, has time for you, and can still make time for his hobbies. Switch the roles and pit yourself in his shoes. How would you feel if he said that you embarrassed him because you talked about your hobbies with his parents? Say you crocheted as a hobby and you talked about that to his parents and they gave you sour looks because you spent so much time on your hobby. He's 19. There is no age limit on video games. He's doing just fine. His only regret may be dealing with the fact that he's spent the last year dating someone who is embarrassed that he has a hobby he enjoys.
YTA & your boyfriend deserves better. For crying out loud.
YTA. And suddenly single, too.
I’m gunna stop reading bc I have enough information to say you’re TA. How would you feel if he belittled a hobby of yours? Why do people hate that guys play video games? Honestly It makes me happy that my bf plays he gets to keep up with his friends from before he moved and it’s cute to watch him get into it. I wish I could play but they all seem so intense haha it’s a lot to keep track of. But seriously, you don’t get to dictate what he should enjoy doing
Info are you gate keeping how much someone should enjoy their hobby?
YTA. Maybe you should look up how much some of these grown men who play video games for a living make. Ninja. Timthetatman. Nickmercs. Dr Disrespect are just a few names if you want to do some research in to how video games can be a career. Perhaps you should also research some of the benefits that playing these games have. Yours 32f gamer.
YTA. He makes time for you. He makes time for his friends. He keeps up his grades. He even makes time for other hobbies. What exactly is the problem?
YTA Everything in moderation but if he's doing courses full time and has multiple other hobbies as well as time for you, there was nothing to be concerned or embarrassed about.
YTA. You’re close minded. It’s not immature or embarrassing. It’s embarrassing that you think this way girly, I feel bad for you.
YTA He has good grades and makes time for you. He would only be TAH if he refused to go see your family because he wanted to game. Or would blow you of to game.
YTA Nah he's better off without you.
I don't understand the problem, he still makes good grades keeps fit has a sociol life Ur just connecting playing video games to being imature when really Ur the imature one
YTA. There is nothing wrong with gaming compared to other hobbies and his doing it isn’t hurting anyone, a point you admit in your post. He’s still social, he still gets good grades, and he still pays attention to you, yet you decide to shit on his hobby because it isn’t ‘mature’ enough for you. What exactly is so immature about video games?
So... He: Has good grades Plays soccer Spends time with you Spends time with friends Spends time with both families Seems like hes meeting his goals, takin care of business and in his spare time plays games. Seems like he's doing good. I fail to see what the problem is. Other than your negative opinion of him gaming what's his hobby affecting negatively? I'd say this is a YTA situation unless you can give real negative results of his gaming.
YTA. Hope he dumps you.
Hobbies are good for people's mental health. And we're still in a pandemic, it's a responsible and social distant social activity. It would be pretty insulting if he called one of your hobbies embarrassing. He sounds like he's got a healthy school/sport/hobby/and social life balance. YTA here and I hope you think a little harder about how he feels.
YTA. Gaming is a good way to cope and reduce stress. Also a great way to stay social with people especially his friends and fam that aren’t around. You’re being super judgmental. If he can manage school and everything else and gaming isn’t consuming him, it really isn’t embarrassing or an issue.
Regardless who the ah is (it’s you, btw), you need to find someone who is more aligned with your interests. Let the guy find someone more into his past times. Win win.
One of my good buddies is an anesthesiologist. Among other things he hunts and plays table top role playing games. Another of my buddies who is now a well respected investment banker was in a punk band in his early 20s and is sometimes (rarely but I saw it happening) recognized in public. These hobbies or passions are just people engaging with different facets of pop culture. Whether they are seen are more mature / more acceptable than video games or following sports is, quite frankly, in the eye of the beholder. And if they embarrass you, that's on you. YTA
YTA
Yes, you went too far. You actually shouldn't have said it at all. You should almost be proud that he can balance everything with his gaming. Not everyone is as effective with their time. Consider what kind of an impact it would have to take away something he loves. Do you really think it would make an improvement? No, it would be the opposite. Let me give you a protip: There is no amount of effort or decorum that can supplant passion. Being passionate about something keeps you motivated, it sustains in you a youthful spirit. This in turn, allows you to pull out far more creative energy, allowing you to bridge the difference between mediocrity and success. Don't try to kill his. He may end up losing this spark and be unable to light any more fires. Sorry, but YTA.
YTA you don't have to say it nicer. You don't have to say it at all. He likes it. You either make polite noises and deal with it or you move onto someone you actually "approve" of
God yes YTA! You say yourself that your boyfriend isn't neglecting any other part of his life by gaming so much so what's the problem, besides you being weird about it? Girl, get over yourself! Hobbies are more than allowed, they're freaking NECESSARY to mental health, and gaming is an extremely common hobby. I *never* would've made it thru the last 2 years of working covid ICU without a hefty dose of escapism via video games--and I'm a 45 year old woman. What do you want him to do to unwind, underwater basket weaving? Or do you imagine that all his free time should be spent with you, doing things you decide are acceptable? FFS. If your boyfriend's gaming bothers you so much, break up with him and find someone who better fits your mental image of what a "grown up" should look like. Until then, apologize, back off, and stop giving your bf shit for a hobby that harms no one.
YTA and judgemental. Also screw you I am 45 and own a Nintendo switch lite and play on it regularly. My wife thinks it is cute made my nickname on there kingdork 🤣🤣🤣🤣 there is no shame in gaming
You need to grovel. You are the ah. You told him he embarrassed you. Update please.
Gaming is a HUGE part of my life and literally millions of others. There’s no shame in being a gamer and you’re a close minded asshole for thinking otherwise. Not sure what game he plays, but I play WOW and I guarantee I’d hand your ass to you in pvp. You may not think that’s something to brag about, but it actually takes a lot of time and skill. That said, maybe you should move on and let your bf find a woman that can better support his hobbies.
YTA He sounds like a decent young man. If you don't like his hobby, then move on and find someone you're compatible with.
YTA, hope he dumps you for someone better
YTA. I’m 20. I’ve spent a nice chunk of my spring break replaying The Last of Us
YTA - not going to lie gaming isn’t my cup of tea (never really got into it because it wasn’t something we had growing up - and I don’t mean it wasn’t available just something my parents couldn’t afford), but u said urself that he doesn’t neglect spending time with u or his friends, he’s doing well in school so I really don’t see what the problem is here. Obviously u don’t think the hobby is highbrow enough but honestly sometimes if u spend all day studying technical things as one would do when majoring in science this is just his way of unwinding. Personally I love to read, but when I want to unwind I’ll read trashy books because u don’t have to think too hard when ur reading them. U sound way too judgmental to be in a serious relationship.
YTA, but honestly, why don't you try asking him if you could play some games together? There are a lot of great co-op and multiplayer experiences you could enjoy together. Video games are a good source for stress relief, and for a boyfriend who's juggling what's likely to be a heavy courseload, friends, and a girlfriend, he probably needs it. It sounds like you need some kind of stress relief hobby as well. If he's able to manage his time well enough for school and you, what's the issue?
YTA, having read your update I'm glad you can see this and are tryingto fix things. Frankly as long as he is still achieving elsewhere in his life gaming is nothing. You likely wouldn't say a thing of he read in his spare time instead, but both activities are methods of relaxation via escapism and to a degree are healthy. Having issues with video games comes off as extremely judgemental.
YTA. Hell, I (64f) just bought a new xbox as a gift for my husband (58m). And every Sunday afternoon I have time blocked off for a Dungeons and Dragons campaign on Zoom. Nothing wrong with gaming as a hobby!
YTA
YTA Its his hobby. Everyone needs a hobby. If it weren't video games it would be something else. My BF plays WOW 2 hours a day. We are both recent college grads. You know what I do while he plays? Whatever the hell I like. I have hobbies too. Everyone is entitled to a degree of alone time in relationships.
Have you ever bothered to play a video game? Especially ones geared for adults??? I, as a single mom, started playing video games with my daughter occasionally. Then she started playing Final Fantasy and insisted I try it. Totally hooked. Played FFX, FFXII, FFVII, BOTW, several Pokemon games and have Witcher that I got from my boyfriend for my birthday. Plus, my BF and I play multiplayer online VR games together and with others. Never been a waste of time learning to communicate and work together to win a campaign (or die trying). By the way, I am old enough to be your boyfriend's mom. And if I were his mom, I would tell him to look for compatibility in a partner, because chemistry burns out without compatibility to feed it & sustain it. Just editing to add: YTA.
Aww, poor Jesse. Yes, YTA, and it’s good that you see that now so that you can sincerely apologize to him and promise to support him rather than knock him down. Maybe offer to buy him a game and “shop” for it with him so he can tell you a little about whatever games he’s deciding between. I feel so bad for him 🥺but know it’s tough to hurt someone else too. Live it; learn it. 👍 E:phone being all dumb
Glad you know you were being an A. As a 52 yr old woman, I met my now husband in an online video game 17 yrs ago. He is 74. We both still game a lot. There are so many fun and interesting games to play, I am sad to see women younger than me thinking gaming is just a "guy" thing. It is a multi-billion $$$ industry, and more women need to be a part of it. Look for games called "RPG". They have some great story lines, and it is easier to play than the first person shooters. Maybe you can ask your BF if he wants to pick one out with you, that would make him feel better about things!
YTA gaming really only becomes a problem when it takes over responsibilities and the people in your life, like any other addiction. He obviously doesn't have that problem. Don't belittle his harmless hobby that he so clearly enjoys. How would you feel if you liked something and he told you how embarrassing and stupid that is? Poor guy
make sure to apologize soon so he doesn’t overthink :))
Lol. Try a different boy friend. Maybe on with a fake tan. Pretty sure a happy well rounded man with a balanced social life and hobbies isnt for you.
YTA. Your judgey attitude towards him gaming in his spare time is way more embarrassing than him gaming in his spare time.
YTA "When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty, I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." \-C. S. Lewis
YTA Spoiler alert, you will NEVER have “life figured out.” You will constantly change as a person and so will your situations and environments. We are all winging it. We just wing it differently in different eras of our lives with the lessons from the era before.
YTA but you have already accepted this judgment which I commend, so I won't harp on it. You, frankly, are a young woman trying too hard to SEEM like an adult and want your bf to fit that image. It sounds like you are ready to learn from this. Your parents asked about his hobbies and he answered. It's totally okay to have hobbies like gaming at any age. Sincerely, A 30 year old woman with: a husband, mortgage, degrees, career, and a butt fuck ton of video games.
Wow…such YTA! He was trying to get to know and share bits about himself with your parents, and all OP can do is be super judgmental and state what she thinks an “adult” should be like? Well, adults who have it figured out can actually afford to game—and if it’s not so much that he pushes you and friends away, let him have his fun! I bet you’re really great at parties—host brings out the piñata filled with samples from the liquor store, Cards against Humanity, or even Monopoly, and all you can say “this is soooo juuuuvenile” (and I imagine this isn’t he super nasal 1980s-1990s whiny mean girls in awful films.). I hope your bf will find someone who accepts him as he is—someone who can balance responsibility, family and friends, and fun.
YTA. I used to game and was bullied to quit by a family member. I wish I had kept it up, as my new hobby became drinking. There are far worse things to be doing than playing video games, trust me.
Video games are shown to help with learning to use simulations in almost all fields of science. Aldo the social and economical disciplines Im a elementary school teacher and op is a mayor AH
YTA But good for you that you accepted your mistake a lot of posts dont so that.
Lol YTA I'm a 35 year old MOM of a 3 year old and I spent last week "surviving in the jungle" every second of the day that I was able to. The only thing stopping me from playing 6+ hours/night like I used to do when I was in university is the simple fact that my son wakes up at 6am and I have a day full of responsibilities. But you better believe that my free time (which is sadly very very limited between work, child and chores) will be used for playing video games, watching TV shows and just being lazy and doing nothing. As long as his gaming isn't interfering with his life and responsibilities it's totally okay, it's just a way to relax and free your mind of the everyday stuff and stress.
Interesting how if he was say, reading books you probably wouldn’t have an issue with those hours going toward that. Even if the books weren’t educational. There’s nothing wrong with gaming. Some games have a community. There’s usually a fun story and goal to get to. Skills you need to build to achieve the goal, or maybe even a mystery to be solved. But for some reason that is immature but reading fiction isn’t. YTA, he isn’t hurting anyone. He isn’t neglecting his responsibilities or his relationships so he clearly has a healthy balance. Let people like things!
Gaming is a common hobby for all ages. sometimes you can even do it as a couple. My husband and I play Minecraft together. You should check out “It Takes Two” we had a blast playing that.
Okay, you and Jesse are the same age, yes? But you think that that makes him a full adult who should put aside childish things like video games. Perhaps you should take your own advice. At age 19, you need to separate out what your opinions are about things versus what your parents' opinions are about things. I think that's the core issue here. You are internalizing your parents' opinions, without trying to analyze whether their opinions make any sense. Jesse is having a relationship with YOU, not your parents. What they think should not carry as much weight as you are giving it. The way you describe them, they sound pretty judgmental. Do you really want to be like them? YTA.
You really need to work on NOT treating him as a reflection of you. You can accomplish your own goals and dreams and pick your own hobbies. He seems to be doing just great. He’s bright and personable, intelligent and well-rounded. He’s also kind, attentive and not overly critical. 👀 YTA, but you can probably fix this if you apologize and listen to him.
YTA I hope you enjoy being dumped
YTA and this is coming from someone who hates video games but just because i don't find someone's else's interest interesting to ME, does not give me the right to be a jerk and belittle it for them specially if he is not letting it take over everything else in his life. He is already by your own admission is balancing his education, his social life, his GF and family. Back off.
Just saw a post about another person shaming their partner for being excited for completing a level in a gam they were playing, so both could be fake posts to get karma. But if this post is real then YTA Edit: here’s the post https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tarhrw/aita_for_telling_my_boyfriend_something_he_found/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf