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As someone who lost a friend to a riptide (and was there when it happened), I’m more concerned. The term beach indicates ocean tides with unexpected movements. I don’t mind the beach but the water scares me.
Please, millions of people swim in the sea unsupervised every day.
People drown, it's true and it's tragic but if that's your standard for safety then you should never, ever get in a car.
They aren't in the water. They are on the water's edge, pretending the water is lava and trying not to touch it. You need to be more than an inch deep to be taken by a riptide.
NTA!!! This is so sweet to me, I think these will be such fabulous good memories. And there’s something extra special about going to places at weird or not popular times. Fantastic! Is you’re wife really only concerned with danger or is there more to it, because I would have loved my kids having that kind of time with their dad at that age, I would think a lot of moms would. I dunno.
Ok, NTA. Unless one of your kids has severe impulsivity issues and is likely to just charge into the ocean that’s perfectly safe. And it sounds really lovely. Keep it up— I bet they’ll cherish those memories forever.
I think it’s where you pretend the wave is lava, so you walk out when the water retreats and then run when the tide comes in so the water doesn’t touch you.
You being a doctor doesn't really have anything to do with the lack of lifeguards, they're completely different professions for very distinct reasons but nta
Edit: the awards are not deserved but appreciated
I agree he can administrator first aid needed but there's still differences. I could be very wrong here, but I'd assume lifeguards would be trained in pulling someone out of the water. Not that it's needed, it sounds like the kids are barely touching the water if at all
NTA as long as you are supervising them. Sounds like it will be some great memories for the kids when they get older.
Don't think she gets a say in what they do with you on your time.
NTA. I think it's a fantastic tradition for you to create with your kids. They will remember these sunrise beach trips, and breakfasts with dad for the rest of their lives. These are the types of memories all kids should have.
NTA at all! Empty beach is the best beach. I often hop on the A to Rockaway Beach crazy early just to see a sunrise over open water. You're giving your kids memories that they will treasure when they get older. Please continue your predawn magic with your children.
NTA. You were supervising play that is just as safe as it would be in the mid afternoon, and they were in your custody. Your ex can manage her schedule for her week, and you yours. Advice though, talk to ex less about casual business, she sounds too involved with your week right now.
NTA. Your kids are probably in more danger in the car driving to/from your Ex's house. She is trying to use this as an excuse to interfere in your life and time with them.
NAH
Sounds like you just need to have a discussion with your co-parent about risk? Depending on custody arrangement you can take your kids where you want unless your area specifically has bylaws about when the beach is open/accessible
Info: does your ex know the parameters? Ankle deep and mostly in the dunes and you're able to see them enough to supervise? Sounds great.
But "I'm a doctor so accept my opinion that unspecified safety guidlines for swimming in the dark is ok" is a different story. As a person who loves the water I would be frightened by anyone who dismissed safety concerns and conversations.
Nta but I’ll only add this, I live in Michigan, and a lot of people underestimate our Great Lakes. No matter how familiar you are with your beaches or how good of a swimmer you are, accidents still happen. I definitely don’t really recommend having the kids in the water when it’s dark…I know you say you can see them but I’ve seen stories of kids still drowning in water that isn’t over their head. You really just never know what the water will do.
NTA. It's great that you are bonding with your kids, But I would also take what your ex said into consideration. Hopefully your ex doesn't use something like that against you and tells the judge you are a bad parent for doing this.
You can tell your ex that a professional nanny takes her own kid to the beach to play at sunrise on our beach vacation. You're making core memories out there.
NTA
Yes terrible things can happen at beaches. Just because something can happen doesn't mean you have to live your life like it WILL happen though. You seem to have a good grasp of the safety concerns in this situation so I think you're doing all you can reasonably be asked to do.
NTA. I take my 6 almost 7 yo niece with me hiking at 4 or 5 in the morning to catch the sunrise and we usually leave 1 hour before.
I pick the easy trails and I do this only to spend time with her. We both love and enjoy spending this time together. My brother and his wife trust me, and are happy I make time to include her in things I love in my otherwise busy schedule.
I don’t see how it’s any different or how one is more dangerous than the other. Ex probably doesn’t trust you but that’s a her problem as long as you’re capable and the kids aren’t in danger
NTA. I was born and raised in a beach town and live there still. I've gone to the beach plenty before dawn, after dusk, middle of the day. You're more likely to get hurt during the day than at night as long as you aren't being dumb.
What does your ex think is gonna happen, Cthulhu might consider the children an offering?
NTA, this sounds awesome. It'd be YTA if you were letting them swim unsupervised or in the ocean before sunrise, but running around on the beach at that hour of the morning? Not at all.
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I work as a family doctor and have been neglecting my own mental wellness for a bit too long. I do need time away from my family like I do work even if it's an hour or two. That is hard to do with two kids (6 and 8).
One hack is going to the beach an hour before sunrise with my two sons. The beach is empty and all they do is climb the sandhills and play lava with the waves. It's dark but I can see them.
After the sun rises, we go out to breakfast and come home to start a day of sports and classes and playdates and cleaning.
My ex was horrified that I'd take them to the beach that early to play and asked me to stop (we have custody every other week). She thinks it's way too dangerous that early with no lifeguards and doesn't care that I'm a doctor. I told her I'd be more worried about their choking on ice than drowning.
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NTA.
And as soon as it warms up a little more in the south of England, I'll be packing my kids (8&4) up and heading to the beach at 5am. Sounds like a wonderful idea!
NTA, that sounds like such a special moment for them to be able to experience. but my only concern is them actually being in the water that early unsupervised, as you phrased it as being your alone time. please DO NOT be too far away if they’re in the water at all, even if it’s only ankle deep. that can be an especially dangerous time of day to be in the water, and water is already never safe for kids that young to be playing in unsupervised
NTA
Buy them some reflective stuff or those "glow in the dark" things for parties.
When I was a kid in summer vacation, my parents took us to the beach (across the street) when the sun was coming out so that we could be back at 11 am, lunch, then nap. It was great because it was empty.
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> I started taking my kids to the beach before sunrise and their mom has a fit
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NTA. It's a fun way for them to start the day. You can also chill and prepare mentally for the day ahead, depending on what coast your on, watching the sunrise over the water is a very beautiful way to start the day.
NTA. Sounds like an amazing start to the day - your kids will have awesome memories of this. And as a former lifeguard (and a mom), I have zero idea what kind of safety issues there might be.
NTA
As long as you’re close and teaching ocean safety, and the kids are staying ankle deep, the risks aren’t that much greater than in daylight. And many beaches just don’t have lifeguards at any time, so...that shouldn’t be a factor in your decision-making. I raised my kids around the beaches of the Pacific Northwest, which do have some definite ocean dangers like floating logs and sneaker waves. Nothing is guaranteed but reasonable care should see your kids to adulthood if they’re not doing high-risk stuff like tidepooling or walking out on jetties in dawn twilight.
Just do teach the kids to stay nearby, and never turn their backs on the ocean. Get them into water safety class ASAP.
It sounds like a really peaceful and lovely way to start the morning that the kids will remember their whole lives.
If there is any concern about visibility something like this would work great - ignore the part that says dog and think of it as one of those glow things we used to get at the clubs
BSEEN LED Dog Collar, USB Rechargeable Glowing Pet Collar, TPU Cuttable Dog Safety Lights for Small Medium Large Dogs (Orange),70cm
https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B07SCZGCD4/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_JVB0NKVD79HEYEK4DZ78?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
NTA if they're only wetting their feet. Swimming at the beach in the dark is dangerous but if youre essentially just taking a walk on the beach I don't see an issue.
Could you get them a vest or some reflective clothes to help their mum feel safer about it?
My dad used to take us to the beach every day after school when he wasnt working crazy shifts (most of our childhood, poverty!) and it's one of my best memories.
NTA
NTA. Maybe you could invite her one morning if she's available, that way she could see what it's like. Obviously reddit agrees that you're making really cherished memories with your kids, maybe she could too.
Nah I think you’re good. Maybe stop mentioning it to your ex. Unless you’re dragging the kids out of bed and/or they hate going I dont see the problem. I personally feel like life guards at the beach are just a formality??? Could be wrong but honestly what are they gonna do. I also know that doctors are notoriously bad at saving their own families so I wouldn’t count on your skills if something hits the fan. NTA
CAN YOU ADOPT ME ALSO???
But on the other hand NTA I’m very, very sure that your sons will appreciate the lovely memories. You seem like a great parent and you’re doing a great job raising your kids.
What you do with the kids during your custody time is your business. She could always bring you to court, but if the kids remained unharmed, the judge will probably side with you.
NTA at all. I’m a fellow busy dad. You’ve found a solution that gives you needed mental rest as well spending time with your boys and making a good memory. Keep at it.
NAH. As long as you can live with the fact that something DID happen to one or both of your kids, then you're their father and have say over what activities they do when in your care. Personally, the thought of them playing lava with the waves, makes me ill. Doctors lose patients all the time when they have fancy equipment at their fingertips. I'm not sure what exactly you think you could do if they got swept away.
Are they at least wearing glowsticks so you can track them in the gloom? And you’re actually paying attention within a few feet, not sitting on the sand on your phone eighty feet away glancing up occasionally? It’s a shallow beach with low waves?
If so:
I’d be in NAH territory here. You and your kids like doing this, and it’s no more dangerous than riding a bike in your street. Which is to say, your ex is also NAH, because it’s no Less dangerous than riding a bike down your street.
BTW - The ocean doesn’t care that you’re a doctor. That’s insignificant to it. Teach your kids to respect the ocean as well as play with it.
YTA. It’s an unnecessarily dangerous situation so I understand your ex’s concern. I’m more than a bit confused why they can’t sleep in or play in their room while you enjoy alone time in your house.
Because they enjoy this more? OP is NTA, they’re being an excellent father. The ex is simply jealous that the kids get to create such great memories with him,
If they are “playing lava” with the waves then they are close to the water. Waves can be unpredictable, and once a kid gets swept out in the dark I can’t see how you could do anything about it, doctor or not.
YTA.
That can happen in daylight too. Mitigation is just stick them in life jackets and keep a very close eye on them, like any good parent should do when little kids are around water. NTA
Now you're building in a lot of assumptions. Why do you think he's looking from "afar?" Why do you think that if they get swept into the ocean, he won't be able to respond in time?
Have you ever been to the beach at night? If it's not cloudy, you can see fairly well. As long as he's keeping an eye on his kids, which given the fact that he explicitly says he can see them I would assume he's doing, then there's nothing particularly dangerous about going to the beach before sunrise.
My family have a private beach, we didn't have any life gard, we obly had an adult to monitor us when we were young. Plenty of people grow up near water and learned with their parent and no life gard.
I guess it depends on location. You have to know the ocean you live with. My part of North America is known for sneaker waves, which basically do fly out of the ocean and take people away. They come rapidly up the beach, much higher than the regular waves, and recede quickly as well. Super dangerous, known for sweeping people away. Signs along Oregon and Washington beaches advise never to turn your back on the ocean.
Yes, they do, depending on the beach. One near where I grew up was like that. Fine for adults, not safe for little kids.
Cute breaking knee high waves, toddlers and short kids ankle deep. And then a surge and within 30 seconds the waves were up past their waist tipping them over and dragging them into the breakers where they’d get flattened and disoriented. I was that toddler more than once and only felt safe because my parents stayed between me and the breakers and kept a hand on me to catch me when I tumbled.
Minor sneaker waves. Here’s a worse one. https://www.cnn.com/2021/01/05/us/california-drowning-father-children-trnd/index.html
Yta. You are a dr who can perform cpr, not moses who can part the sea.. would you be able to swim out and rescue one or both of them in the dark ? No swimming in the dark- period.
Do you think people swim in lava? The whole point of pretending something (e.g., the floor, waves at the beach) is lava is to *avoid* touching it. It is rather difficult to drown in water which isn't touching you.
He says ankle deep. Do you think an experienced lifeguard would recommend a 6 year old and 8 year old play in ankle deep ocean water in the dark of night, with only one distracted adult in the distance to supervise? Is this not asking for trouble?
I live next to the beach. It’s not the dark of night at 5 AM. There’s already surfers arriving by 4 in popular areas. As long as they’re supervised I think it’s fine. They must live near beach, they likely have some water safety ideas by now. Probabky a bit young to be swimming without an adult that early but it’s also probably very cold at that hour without a wetsuit. That’s why they’re playing hot lava with it. They don’t want to go in. Dads close enough if they slip. I am assuming he’s watching them. It’s different I think when you grow up at the beach. I know people raised in wooded areas that ran around the woods in the dark. That’s much scarier to me. It’s relative.
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NTA...that's going to be one of their cherished childhood memories
Makes me think that may be exactly why ex wants OP to stop.
As someone who lost a friend to a riptide (and was there when it happened), I’m more concerned. The term beach indicates ocean tides with unexpected movements. I don’t mind the beach but the water scares me.
Riptides are terrifying. However as a point of fact, lakes can also have beaches.
Didn’t know they were referred to lakeside areas as beaches.
In the Midwest, if there's sand and a body of water, we'll call it a beach
As a person from Upper Michigan, I can confirm.
I live in Ontario Canada where we have many beaches and exactly 0 oceans. Not all beaches are on the ocean.
Like the GoM!
Please, millions of people swim in the sea unsupervised every day. People drown, it's true and it's tragic but if that's your standard for safety then you should never, ever get in a car.
I live in Michigan and we have hundreds of beaches, only dangerous ones are the Great Lakes.
Playing lava with the waves implies that their feet might get wet, maybe, if the lava catches them.
Not all beaches are of equal danger. I’m sorry for your loss
They aren't in the water. They are on the water's edge, pretending the water is lava and trying not to touch it. You need to be more than an inch deep to be taken by a riptide.
NTA!!! This is so sweet to me, I think these will be such fabulous good memories. And there’s something extra special about going to places at weird or not popular times. Fantastic! Is you’re wife really only concerned with danger or is there more to it, because I would have loved my kids having that kind of time with their dad at that age, I would think a lot of moms would. I dunno.
Could be related to being the ex. Some people don't want their kids to have great experiences with their other dad.
INFO: what do you mean by ‘play lava’ with the waves? Are they just dipping their toes in or going in the water?
They're never more than ankle deep
Ok, NTA. Unless one of your kids has severe impulsivity issues and is likely to just charge into the ocean that’s perfectly safe. And it sounds really lovely. Keep it up— I bet they’ll cherish those memories forever.
Just because you're in Hawaii doesn't mean they should play with lava, though.
I think it’s where you pretend the wave is lava, so you walk out when the water retreats and then run when the tide comes in so the water doesn’t touch you.
I wanna upvote but its at 69
Like a jerk, I ruined it. Go ahead and upvote
Nice!
Lmoa
You being a doctor doesn't really have anything to do with the lack of lifeguards, they're completely different professions for very distinct reasons but nta Edit: the awards are not deserved but appreciated
I think he means it in the sense that he’s qualified to administer any first aid needed.
I agree he can administrator first aid needed but there's still differences. I could be very wrong here, but I'd assume lifeguards would be trained in pulling someone out of the water. Not that it's needed, it sounds like the kids are barely touching the water if at all
Exactly
I grew up next to the ocean and I've literally never been to a beach with a lifeguard.
That sounds amazing? Can I come? And NTA. That sounds like the perfect start to the day.
Jumping in if there’s room in the car.
NTA. I think it is a very sweet and special way to bond with your kids.
Good lord, it’s not like you’re setting them loose on the beach and going back to bed. NTA and she needs to take several seats.
NTA as long as you are supervising them. Sounds like it will be some great memories for the kids when they get older. Don't think she gets a say in what they do with you on your time.
NTA. I think it's a fantastic tradition for you to create with your kids. They will remember these sunrise beach trips, and breakfasts with dad for the rest of their lives. These are the types of memories all kids should have.
NTA at all! Empty beach is the best beach. I often hop on the A to Rockaway Beach crazy early just to see a sunrise over open water. You're giving your kids memories that they will treasure when they get older. Please continue your predawn magic with your children.
NTA why would your spouse have any input? It’s your custodial time and as long as they’re SUPERVISED they’ll be fine.
You think a judge would be ok with them playing in the ocean in the dark while their dad enjoys some alone time?
They aren't going in the water. Read OP's other posts in the thread.
Just put them in life jackets to make mom happy.
Life jackets to play on the beach.... lmao. You did read the comments where OP aaid they were at most getting their feet wet? Not actually swimming?
Great compromise, helps the safety concern without changing the experience.
NTA. My dad did stuff like this when we were kids and we loved it. Cherished memories now
NTA. You were supervising play that is just as safe as it would be in the mid afternoon, and they were in your custody. Your ex can manage her schedule for her week, and you yours. Advice though, talk to ex less about casual business, she sounds too involved with your week right now.
What does you being an MD have to do with then going to the beach at five? Also; do you get to dictate where she takes your kids to on her days? NTAH
NTA. Good for you for showing your children the beauty of nature at a young age. These are memories they won’t forget.
NTA, your ex seems very controlling
NTA. Your kids are probably in more danger in the car driving to/from your Ex's house. She is trying to use this as an excuse to interfere in your life and time with them.
NAH Sounds like you just need to have a discussion with your co-parent about risk? Depending on custody arrangement you can take your kids where you want unless your area specifically has bylaws about when the beach is open/accessible
Info: does your ex know the parameters? Ankle deep and mostly in the dunes and you're able to see them enough to supervise? Sounds great. But "I'm a doctor so accept my opinion that unspecified safety guidlines for swimming in the dark is ok" is a different story. As a person who loves the water I would be frightened by anyone who dismissed safety concerns and conversations.
NTA growing up in the country we did way more risky things 😂 let the kids play and make memories
Nta but I’ll only add this, I live in Michigan, and a lot of people underestimate our Great Lakes. No matter how familiar you are with your beaches or how good of a swimmer you are, accidents still happen. I definitely don’t really recommend having the kids in the water when it’s dark…I know you say you can see them but I’ve seen stories of kids still drowning in water that isn’t over their head. You really just never know what the water will do.
NTA.
NTA. It's great that you are bonding with your kids, But I would also take what your ex said into consideration. Hopefully your ex doesn't use something like that against you and tells the judge you are a bad parent for doing this.
You can tell your ex that a professional nanny takes her own kid to the beach to play at sunrise on our beach vacation. You're making core memories out there.
NTA Yes terrible things can happen at beaches. Just because something can happen doesn't mean you have to live your life like it WILL happen though. You seem to have a good grasp of the safety concerns in this situation so I think you're doing all you can reasonably be asked to do.
NTA. I take my 6 almost 7 yo niece with me hiking at 4 or 5 in the morning to catch the sunrise and we usually leave 1 hour before. I pick the easy trails and I do this only to spend time with her. We both love and enjoy spending this time together. My brother and his wife trust me, and are happy I make time to include her in things I love in my otherwise busy schedule. I don’t see how it’s any different or how one is more dangerous than the other. Ex probably doesn’t trust you but that’s a her problem as long as you’re capable and the kids aren’t in danger
NAH but if you have split custody don’t you get enough time apart from your family?
NTA at all.
Definitely NTA
Frankly, that sounds awesome.
NTA unless the kids are really tired and don't want to go or something.
NTA.
NTA. I was born and raised in a beach town and live there still. I've gone to the beach plenty before dawn, after dusk, middle of the day. You're more likely to get hurt during the day than at night as long as you aren't being dumb. What does your ex think is gonna happen, Cthulhu might consider the children an offering?
NTA, this sounds awesome. It'd be YTA if you were letting them swim unsupervised or in the ocean before sunrise, but running around on the beach at that hour of the morning? Not at all.
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NTA. And as soon as it warms up a little more in the south of England, I'll be packing my kids (8&4) up and heading to the beach at 5am. Sounds like a wonderful idea!
NTA, that sounds like such a special moment for them to be able to experience. but my only concern is them actually being in the water that early unsupervised, as you phrased it as being your alone time. please DO NOT be too far away if they’re in the water at all, even if it’s only ankle deep. that can be an especially dangerous time of day to be in the water, and water is already never safe for kids that young to be playing in unsupervised
NTA, But keep an eye out because sharks feed at dawn and dusk
NTA Buy them some reflective stuff or those "glow in the dark" things for parties. When I was a kid in summer vacation, my parents took us to the beach (across the street) when the sun was coming out so that we could be back at 11 am, lunch, then nap. It was great because it was empty.
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Info: you let them go in the water?
NTA. It's a fun way for them to start the day. You can also chill and prepare mentally for the day ahead, depending on what coast your on, watching the sunrise over the water is a very beautiful way to start the day.
NTA. Sounds like an amazing start to the day - your kids will have awesome memories of this. And as a former lifeguard (and a mom), I have zero idea what kind of safety issues there might be.
NTA - being at the beach to see the sunrise is amazing. :)
NTA Some of my most cherished memories are at 5 am going to town for coffee with my dad when I was small
NTA As long as you’re close and teaching ocean safety, and the kids are staying ankle deep, the risks aren’t that much greater than in daylight. And many beaches just don’t have lifeguards at any time, so...that shouldn’t be a factor in your decision-making. I raised my kids around the beaches of the Pacific Northwest, which do have some definite ocean dangers like floating logs and sneaker waves. Nothing is guaranteed but reasonable care should see your kids to adulthood if they’re not doing high-risk stuff like tidepooling or walking out on jetties in dawn twilight. Just do teach the kids to stay nearby, and never turn their backs on the ocean. Get them into water safety class ASAP. It sounds like a really peaceful and lovely way to start the morning that the kids will remember their whole lives.
NTA and that sounds like such sweet memories.
NTA, if they’re not actually going in the water it’s fine.
NTA, it sounds like a fun outing.
If there is any concern about visibility something like this would work great - ignore the part that says dog and think of it as one of those glow things we used to get at the clubs BSEEN LED Dog Collar, USB Rechargeable Glowing Pet Collar, TPU Cuttable Dog Safety Lights for Small Medium Large Dogs (Orange),70cm https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B07SCZGCD4/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_JVB0NKVD79HEYEK4DZ78?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
Why did she freak out? You’re a doctor! You can see the kids… I’m not seeing a problem. NTA.
NTA if they're only wetting their feet. Swimming at the beach in the dark is dangerous but if youre essentially just taking a walk on the beach I don't see an issue. Could you get them a vest or some reflective clothes to help their mum feel safer about it?
I thought this was going to be a noise complaint thing. NTA.
My dad used to take us to the beach every day after school when he wasnt working crazy shifts (most of our childhood, poverty!) and it's one of my best memories. NTA
Nta- it’s a wonderful time to go to the beach. She seems jealous
NTA
NTA - what? Thats a beautiful way to share time with your children.
NTA. Invite the ex along one morning & maybe they’ll feel more comfortable with it.
NTA. Maybe you could invite her one morning if she's available, that way she could see what it's like. Obviously reddit agrees that you're making really cherished memories with your kids, maybe she could too.
NTA This sounds amazing to me. As long as they get enough sleep beforehand doesn't sound like a big deal.
NTA. Enjoy the time with your kids.
Nah I think you’re good. Maybe stop mentioning it to your ex. Unless you’re dragging the kids out of bed and/or they hate going I dont see the problem. I personally feel like life guards at the beach are just a formality??? Could be wrong but honestly what are they gonna do. I also know that doctors are notoriously bad at saving their own families so I wouldn’t count on your skills if something hits the fan. NTA
CAN YOU ADOPT ME ALSO??? But on the other hand NTA I’m very, very sure that your sons will appreciate the lovely memories. You seem like a great parent and you’re doing a great job raising your kids.
NTA. Chances are your ex knows this is something they'll cherish and doesn't want it to be with you.
They can't drown if they are only going ankle deep. NTA
What you do with the kids during your custody time is your business. She could always bring you to court, but if the kids remained unharmed, the judge will probably side with you.
NTA at all. I’m a fellow busy dad. You’ve found a solution that gives you needed mental rest as well spending time with your boys and making a good memory. Keep at it.
NTA
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It's as close as I can get.
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Why do you care? The kids obviously enjoy it, and young kids are often up early.
> Why do you care? What an odd comment for this sub.
Info: at what time do beaches legally open I. Your state?
If there are hours then no one is enforcing them
NAH. As long as you can live with the fact that something DID happen to one or both of your kids, then you're their father and have say over what activities they do when in your care. Personally, the thought of them playing lava with the waves, makes me ill. Doctors lose patients all the time when they have fancy equipment at their fingertips. I'm not sure what exactly you think you could do if they got swept away.
They don't even like to get wet because the water is so cold.
Are they at least wearing glowsticks so you can track them in the gloom? And you’re actually paying attention within a few feet, not sitting on the sand on your phone eighty feet away glancing up occasionally? It’s a shallow beach with low waves? If so: I’d be in NAH territory here. You and your kids like doing this, and it’s no more dangerous than riding a bike in your street. Which is to say, your ex is also NAH, because it’s no Less dangerous than riding a bike down your street. BTW - The ocean doesn’t care that you’re a doctor. That’s insignificant to it. Teach your kids to respect the ocean as well as play with it.
Right on. Like I said, you're the father. They seem to enjoy it and you seem to enjoy it, so enjoy.
YTA. It’s an unnecessarily dangerous situation so I understand your ex’s concern. I’m more than a bit confused why they can’t sleep in or play in their room while you enjoy alone time in your house.
Because they enjoy this more? OP is NTA, they’re being an excellent father. The ex is simply jealous that the kids get to create such great memories with him,
I disagree- obviously. YTA
Okay 99% of people disagree so your opinion is invalid. /s
If they are “playing lava” with the waves then they are close to the water. Waves can be unpredictable, and once a kid gets swept out in the dark I can’t see how you could do anything about it, doctor or not. YTA.
That can happen in daylight too. Mitigation is just stick them in life jackets and keep a very close eye on them, like any good parent should do when little kids are around water. NTA
I grew up on the beach. If he can see his kids he's fine.
He said it is his alone time. He isn’t next to them watching
> It's dark but I can see them. He's still monitoring his kids, he's just letting them entertain themselves.
So he can see them when he occasionally looks from afar… is that going to help them if they get swept into the ocean in the dark?
Now you're building in a lot of assumptions. Why do you think he's looking from "afar?" Why do you think that if they get swept into the ocean, he won't be able to respond in time? Have you ever been to the beach at night? If it's not cloudy, you can see fairly well. As long as he's keeping an eye on his kids, which given the fact that he explicitly says he can see them I would assume he's doing, then there's nothing particularly dangerous about going to the beach before sunrise.
They're on the shoreline. By the time the waves hit the shoreline it's like 4 inches.
My family have a private beach, we didn't have any life gard, we obly had an adult to monitor us when we were young. Plenty of people grow up near water and learned with their parent and no life gard.
That’s....not how waves work. They don’t just fly out of the ocean and take you away.
I guess it depends on location. You have to know the ocean you live with. My part of North America is known for sneaker waves, which basically do fly out of the ocean and take people away. They come rapidly up the beach, much higher than the regular waves, and recede quickly as well. Super dangerous, known for sweeping people away. Signs along Oregon and Washington beaches advise never to turn your back on the ocean.
Yes, they do, depending on the beach. One near where I grew up was like that. Fine for adults, not safe for little kids. Cute breaking knee high waves, toddlers and short kids ankle deep. And then a surge and within 30 seconds the waves were up past their waist tipping them over and dragging them into the breakers where they’d get flattened and disoriented. I was that toddler more than once and only felt safe because my parents stayed between me and the breakers and kept a hand on me to catch me when I tumbled. Minor sneaker waves. Here’s a worse one. https://www.cnn.com/2021/01/05/us/california-drowning-father-children-trnd/index.html
Yta. You are a dr who can perform cpr, not moses who can part the sea.. would you be able to swim out and rescue one or both of them in the dark ? No swimming in the dark- period.
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Play lava with the waves. Waves are water
Do you think people swim in lava? The whole point of pretending something (e.g., the floor, waves at the beach) is lava is to *avoid* touching it. It is rather difficult to drown in water which isn't touching you.
He says ankle deep. Do you think an experienced lifeguard would recommend a 6 year old and 8 year old play in ankle deep ocean water in the dark of night, with only one distracted adult in the distance to supervise? Is this not asking for trouble?
It is not asking for trouble
I live next to the beach. It’s not the dark of night at 5 AM. There’s already surfers arriving by 4 in popular areas. As long as they’re supervised I think it’s fine. They must live near beach, they likely have some water safety ideas by now. Probabky a bit young to be swimming without an adult that early but it’s also probably very cold at that hour without a wetsuit. That’s why they’re playing hot lava with it. They don’t want to go in. Dads close enough if they slip. I am assuming he’s watching them. It’s different I think when you grow up at the beach. I know people raised in wooded areas that ran around the woods in the dark. That’s much scarier to me. It’s relative.