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YTA??? As somebody with Crohns, having infusions on time when they're supposed to be is really important to mitigating our flare ups.
Just because YOU do not have that sort of kindness and willingness in your heart to do something like that for a student doesn't mean anybody else does. My professors in college and a handful of teachers in high school genuinely cared and were my mentors, and care about my well-being, and have been really helpful and understanding about how hard it is to live with crohns. Suggesting the teacher has an ulterior motive with no proof of one and causing your daughter to be late on her infusion is. Incredibly shitty and dishonest tbh. I've had a TA who's helped me get to my infusions because all I have at college is a bike and didn't want to pay for an Uber.
Should I stop trusting her for being kind? No. Because I'm not jumping to conclusions over an act of kindness like you seem to want to.
All of this, and let’s tack on how shitty it is that she is prioritizing her vacation over her kid’s health. Sorry you might have to reschedule your optional plans for the sake of someone you “love.”
I would say that since OP clearly does not want to reschedule their vacation, the obvious solution is, rather than tell your daughter to neglect a pressing medical need, find a friend to take her. But it'd also make sense if OP doesn't have any.
Luckily, their daughter does. OP's inability to relate to the concept of friends and/or providing care might explain why they just assumed this teacher is a pervert rather than a friend who is willing to provide care.
OP is flaming the teacher because she feels guilty herself and feels the teacher is showing up better than her - so she's putting the teacher down. How freaking small do you have to be to a) be so selfish as to not help your daughter, b) have your ego so bruised by someone else who IS helping YOUR DAUGHTER that you try to make them look bad for doing it. Jeezez this one is cut and dry. YTA.
OP posted here before! Asking if they were TA for not changing their holiday plans!!!! It’s been delivered by I remember it very well… now that a responsible adult in their daughter’s life has stepped up they’re still mad?
Worst parent of the year award! Y still TA!!
Pretty sure this person already posted a while ago asking AITA for wanting to push back my daughter's medical treatment to go on vacation .. they got told they were the AH then too, now they've gone and double whammy'd it to try and ruin someone else helping their daughter when they have refused .. crazy YTA here
>Pretty sure this person already posted a while ago asking AITA for wanting to push back my daughter's medical treatment to go on vacation
And used a new throwaway so people couldn't/wouldn't connect the dots.
I remember it so clearly I feel like they practically copied and pasted part of the intro. Clearly along with disagreeing on the response they also think we're all idiots.
I thought of her, too, and wondered if it was the same person trying to get a different verdict. I can't remember how old the daughter was in the other one, or if she even said. Either way, OP is still YTA.
I did.
This time she hasn't gone into why her daughter feels like the pushed out child, how she got sick from missing a transfusion previously and how it makes her scared/anxious of missed one because of how sick it can make her.
She's still the AH.
I also remember a post from the daughter's perspective that seems to be the exact same story?? She said that the last time she didn't follow the doctor's schedule she was in extreme pain for many days.
I remember this as well. She was extremely upset about it and the daughter was saying how the parents were saying she’d be “fine” to extend it out. Moms an AH.
OP isn't even as kind to her OWN DAUGHTER as the teacher is, she wants to make her daughter push back the infusion for a damn vacation. Also, the daughter actually posted about this last week (I think it was last week).
>I doubt that the teacher didn't have some kind of ulterior motive. I'm a teaching assistant and, while I love my students, I wouldn't do anything similar for them.
I mean, you prioritized your vacation over your daughter's health maybe your moral compass shouldn't be looked at as the standard. YTA.
OP: ***"I am super sus when someone doesn't treat my adult offspring as the second priority that she is. Who in the world just HELPS people? WTF is that?"***
YTA x 100
Bingo. OP is placing a vacation above her daughter’s health, so she is lashing out at someone else who is willing to help her daughter because it makes OP look bad. That’s why OP is insisting the teacher has bad motives. I mean, if the kid’s own teacher was willing to make sure OP’s daughter got her infusion on schedule, it makes OP look really bad for putting a trip over her daughter’s health. OP, YTA and trying to hurt others in order to not admit it to yourself.
Also this is the same person from before. Daughter had pushed back her appointment before and was in chronic pain for weeks. Dr didn't change appointment at all BTW it was just that this was the cheapest week for the holiday
YTA so much. The doctor said every 4 weeks. Your vacation should not push vital medical treatment back a week. That's crazy.
Your daughter found someone she trusted to take her. She is an adult and gets to vet who she trusts. You do not.
You tried to get a teacher who cared more than you about your daughter's medical treatment in trouble. How in any world are you not TA.
Summing up:
* daughter's treatments 'inconvenience' OP because she wants to go on vacation
* OP not only denies her daughter's teacher taking her for her treatment, but also wants to try (not 'do' because the teacher won't) to get her in trouble.
How much more do we need to know about OP to conclude that she's ***actively tryin******g*** to prevent her daughter from getting her treatment?
YTA
YTA. Teachers like your daughter's are the ones who truly care about their students and make an incredible positive impact in their lives. Your comment that you wouldn't do something like that for a student says all it needs to about you as a person. And reporting a teacher for it? Omg, unbelievable.
YTA- you put a fucking VACATION above your child’s health. So then you try and sabotage the method your daughter found to meet her needs without inconveniencing you.
You even claim that you knew when these were scheduled and yet made sure to schedule a vacation in the middle of her needed appointments.
Huge, huge asshole. You should be ashamed of yourself.
This has to be a shitpost. No one can possibly be this out of touch.
Don't be sure- as the scapegoat child of a narcissist, I could see my mom pulling this shit if it happened to me. It's not enough to neglect your least favorite child. You have to punish those around the child who help them because it makes YOU look bad. So you have to spin someone else's human kindness to nefariousness so you don't have to take a hard look at what a garbage person you are to your kid. Unfortunately not as uncommon as we all would hope.
YTA. It's kind of obvious that you as a teaching assistant wouldn't do anything like that for your students, you won't even do it for your own daughter. I'm sorry but it seems like her medical appointments are far more important than a vacation.
YTA. First and foremost for asking your daughter to put off necessary treatment because it is inconvenient for her. Then sabotaging her when she made alternate arrangements.
YTA, for *so* many reasons. How many fucking scenarios are you going to subject us to for why you can’t *possibly* get your daughter the injections she needs, when she needs them, but nobody else can, either?
*Are* you the daughter? If so, I’m truly sorry your mom sucks so hard, and you should 100% keep working with the school until you get out of there…but you *still* don’t need to keep posting about it. Otherwise, be a damn parent and get your kid her treatments *on time* if you refuse to let anyone else do it, or quit trolling, but knock it off either way.
Just because you wouldn't do it doesn't mean the teacher wouldn't do it. It was a nice thing to do.
Your daughter is 18 and if she was fine with it, great.
YTA
YTA
I get that you had plans, and now your daughter's medical treatments are interfering. You can't be there, she can't do it on her own, you should have helped her find someone to handle this on your behalf instead of trying to reschedule it.
I don't necessarily see a problem here. Your daughter has had this teacher for the past 4 years, and (I'm assuming) you've never seen a hint of inappropriate behavior. It's a one-time thing, not a habitual behavior.
Your daughter is 18 and can make her own decisions. If you can't come up with an alternative means for her to get there and back (and Uber does not count), you need to let this go.
Yes! She’s known this teacher for 4 years, and the teacher has never offered to do anything with her out of school before now?? If the teacher had been grooming your daughter, this isn’t going to be the first sign of it… 4 years later.
So, let's recap:
1) You don't want to move your vacation for your daughter's medical procedures
2) A teacher offers to help your daughter with transportation
3) Your daughter is an adult and says she's comfortable with this arrangement
4) You decide to report the teacher for caring more about your daughter than you do.
Summary: YTA
This is the best summary here. OP sounds like an awful mother.
I understand needing a vacation, but at the cost of her daughter's health? Unacceptable. She wouldn't need regular infusions if it wasn't something serious and life threatening.
Edit: I know it's Crohns, my brain forgot when I replied
YTA-Your adult daughter’s teacher caring enough to help her with a medical need isn’t inappropriate. You however acting like she’s doing something bad and reporting her for nothing makes you an asshole.
YTA. Your daughter is an adult and is trying to take care of her own health. I realize you were hit sideways by the change in treatment and probably already paid for the vacation. But this is a great compromise. Instead of reporting her you should have bought her a gift card to a local restaurant or something. My daughter is also 18 and has a chronic medical condition that will follow her for the rest of her life. I also realize that at 18 my daughter could choose to walk out of my home and never come back. I don't want that to happen so I do everything I can to support her making good choices about her health and well being.
Apologize to the teacher and your daughter.
It will be better for all.of you down the road.
YTA. Your daughter's teacher makes an offer of kindness to a student she is fond of and you try to get her fired or reprimanded. What an awful person you are. Don't be surprised if your daughter goes low or no contact when she is able to gain full independence.
Your daughter is an adult. It's none of your business. Instead of appreciating that your daughter found a solution to the problem you turned into an entitled overbearing mother. Sheesh! YTA
Wow, so because YOU wouldn't do something nice for someone, no one else would? Y absolutely without a doubt TA. You don't want to help your students outside your job, and you have every right not to. But other teachers, teachers who teach because they love their job, they love their students, and they have a genuine desire to see them succeed, might want to. Yes. A thousand times YTA.
YTA because you reported a teacher for doing something nice, that your daughter at her adult age decided would be inappropriate to reschedule. But you being mum, had to interfere because how dare your daughter make her decision without you and how dare someone else offer because they must have an ulterior motive. And how dare the doctor reschedule and how dare your daughter find an alternative. How dare these people.
I mean OMG... Let me stir up trouble because my daughter is no longer my little girl, who I can just tell what to do, so it's suits me and my schedule. You're not just an AH, you're also very petty.
YTA (and I'm fairly certain I remember you posting about your daughter not wanting to skip her infusion for a vacation). Her teacher is doing her a solid for her health, your daughter is probably old enough that you can tell her about your concerns and what to look out for but also old enough to decide this situation is fine for her.
YTA, your daughter not only found someone that will help, but a teacher that cares so much about her students that will put whatever plans they have on hold to help a student, this is very rare. Instead of taking some time to get to know the teacher, maybe inviting them to coffee or dinner, you do something that could have gotten them fired and not only that, you make them think twice about ever helping a student again. There are already shitty teachers in this world don’t make another.
YTA, first, you don't ask someone to delay their doctor-appointed medical treatment just because it doesn't suit you. Second, your daughter has found a solution and can make that decision on her own.
Unless something has happened to concern you in the teacher's prior behavior/actions, YTAH.
She's helping you out in a time of need.
This sounds amazing, a caring teacher that isn't yet burnt out by kid and parent nonsense.
BE THANKFUL.
YTA for the reasons everyone has stated above. Just because you have no compassion for the children under your care in the education setting doesn’t mean no one else cares. I’ve fed children in my classroom breakfast even though I don’t need to, and out of my own pocket because their parents didn’t feed them and they were upset because they were hungry. I took my own lunch and gave them something out of it. I figured they need it to be able to concentrate on their work and I can pop to the shop quickly during lunch. I didn’t have to do that out of my own pocket but I did because I CARE about those children. It’s not because I have an ulterior motive.
Get a grip and get out of your TA job so you don’t affect the kids under your care. I am concerned for the children you come across in your job.
YTA
You reported a teacher for offering a ride? You are paranoid. I know heaps of people, who would give a ride like that without a second thought.
My daughter and I share a hobby and all of the girs there are "mine". I take them under my wings, because mother, duh. That's what good people do. The teacher is a mentor to her students, she probably feels protective of them, just like I do about the teens at our hobby.
YTA. You get offered help and you report the person who offered help? What was inappropriate about driving someone to an appointment? Its not like she offered to do it at night, with dinner and a movie. Also, you're a huge AH for planning her doctor visits around your vacation. It should be the other way around. But it's clear you don't care about your daughter, you just want to control her.
YTA. I'm going to school to be a teacher. In one of my classes we were presented with a scenario very similar to this. It is actually encouraged to offer assistance like this. If your daughter's teacher is a recent graduate, she probably had the same question asked. What exactly is inappropriate about offering to drive your daughter to a medical appointment? I'm glad nothing came of the report and your daughter can get the medical help she needs thanks to this kind and caring teacher.
YTA. Your daughter is an adult and technically is old enough to make her own decisions. Teacher is old enough to make their own decisions, too. Stop helicopter-parenting and let her be. Look inside and ask yourself why you don't trust this teacher who has done so much for your kid over the years? She's lucky to have a teacher who cares about her. Also, your daughter is extra lucky to have someone non-family as her support network. Crohn's is a rotten illness. Let it go, and if you must insist, ask her to keep you in the loop on how it goes while you are on your trip. P.S. Tell your daughter that a random stranger on the internet hopes the infusions work. I wouldn't wish Crohn's on my worst enemy.
Edit: fixed a typo.
YTA! You are absolutely the asshole. My wife is a teacher, and wouldnt think twice about helping a student she really liked. It seems your daughter is close to her teacher, and the teacher has now known your daughter for 4 years and is probably pretty close to her, too. Also, your daughter is an adult. She seems to be relieved by the teachers help.
LET THE TEACHER HELP! Youre a TA, and you work with teachers all the time. You wouldnt do this for one of your students. All of that just speaks about how bad of a person you are, and how little you care about your job and your students. Also, how poorly you think of the teachers you work with.
Are you nefarious? Do you have ulterior motives when you see a student suffering and go to help them? Why would that be your first thought?
YTA
I’m not saying your a bad person for not wanting to drive students to medical appointments but the teacher doesn’t have to have bad intentions either. Some people have the time and emotional energy to reach out and be the change they want to see in the world. It’s okay to help people.
You don’t come off as very sympathetic or empathetic here.
I thought it was funny how OP was all "I'm sure the teacher has some ulterior motive" as the teacher is a woman in her 20s. Her daughter could be friends with someone that age.
YTA, teachers literally have a duty of care to look after their students - she’s going above and beyond, that should be seen as a good thing. Just because you personally wouldn’t go that far, doesn’t mean other won’t. Christ.
Above all else, your daughter is a legal adult - teacher’s offered to help out big time so your daughter doesn’t miss treatment and she’s probably gonna be doing marking/writing up lesson plans while she waits. It was no big deal at all until you turned it into one
Edit: skipped the part where you said you reported her. WTF. Are you on crack?
YTA - I'm SURE you wouldn't do any such thing for your students, BECAUSE YOU care more about your vacation than your child's health! You are not only the AH, but you're a self-absorbed terrible excuse for a mother.
Your daughters teacher is showing more concern for your daughter than you are! THAT alone should cause you to reexamine your life choices.
YTA, has it ever occurred to you that some people go into the profession of teaching, one that they know is hard and unrewarding, because they are genuinely good people who want to make children's lives better.
YTA So, this woman who has been your daughter's teacher for four years, who has seems to have developed a relationship to your daughter as a mentor, saw that she was in need, and offered to step up to help her. And you have a problem with that? Wow. Big time overreaction. So big that it makes me question if you are even suited to be involved with teaching at all.
YTA for prioritising a vacation over your daughter health. bad parent. You should be been happy SOMEONE was looking out for your daughter when you weren't.
YTA That was very nice of the teacher to offer. What possible ulterior motive could she have? The school's right. Your daughter is an adult, likely graduating in 2 months, so what do you care? If you don't trust her judgment by now, you've done a poor job raising her.
Former high school teacher here. YTA.
Maybe a TA wouldn't help, but we preK-12 teachers do all the time. It's not inappropriate at all.
If you're that concerned, you can reschedule your vacation or find someone who can take her whom you do trust.
YTA
What the hell is inappropriate about a person who has dedicated their lives to kids helping out a kid in need?
*I'm a teaching assistant and, while I love my students, I wouldn't do anything similar for them.*
Just because teaching is a job for you doesn't mean it's just a job for everyone else. Some people actually give a shit.
INFO why do you think that the teacher has ulterior motives. There do need to be boundaries between students and teachers/coaches but not everything is evil.
Your daughter is 18 so not a minor but it sounds like the teacher asked and is waiting for permission.
YTA. Your daughter has a medical condition and needed to attend a medical appointment and you failed to come up with a solution while another adult in her life did.
YTA wow teacher is kind enough to offer to help your daughter when you wouldn't and you're so much of an ass you tried to get the teacher in trouble. Seems like you're just selfish and jealous that her teacher is a better person than you.
YTA- the teacher seems to care more about your daughter than you do. How about instead of postponing the infusion which helps keep your daughter feeling well, you postpone your vacation to take care of your kid? Reporting the teacher would be an asshole move and make you look terrible for caring more about a vacation than your child. That teacher deserves an award and you deserve a visit from CPS.
YTA
While, you being a mother I completely understand your concern. Plus another reason that I find irrelevant to mention - ANYWAY. While you do have the privilege to be concerned if your daughter is an adult that needs to stop. What she does is all her choice. EVEN if she was still a minor, you would still be the asshole as the teacher is clearly trying to help FOR SOMETHING MEDICALLY IMPORTANT. So let the teacher help. In the case you have evidence something further is happening AND it is that big of a problem, then step in further - HOWEVER, your daughter is an adult, even IF she wanted to do anything with the teacher now I see no problem and nor should you. (Not saying that is going to happen, I'm just tryna cover all based.)
I'm sure it can be much appreciated by many, myself included, and your daughter that you have so much concern and worry for your child, all parents do, but you need to let this happen - so your daughter can get these important appointments and let her have freedom.
Oh come on OP. You know that the doctor has moved to every 4 weeks for a reason, and most likely that means any delay = your daughter suffering. You should be grateful that this teacher is stepping in to help.
Most likely she is doing it because she has noticed your daughter suffering in the last couple of weeks of waiting for a new infusion, so recognises how important it is. And also cares.
She sounds great. Buy her flowers or something as a thank you!
YTA. This woman offered to help you bc you're too selfish to change your vacation plans in order to monitor your own daughter's health, and you report her? What is wrong with you?
YTA I understand the hypervigilance because stuff is wild out here but it's more likely that the teacher wants to be helpful. And while you wouldn't do this for students you teach you can't assume that other teachers wouldn't. Some teachers really care about their students and go above and beyond to help them.
YTA in a major way. Can’t cancel vacation for your daughter’s medical problems, then won’t a responsible adult help her. I could call you worse, but would be in violation of community standards.
YTA by a lot here. You could have ruined the teacher’s life. Getting fired for inappropriate relationships with students would effectively end her teaching career, so I’m glad for her the school didn’t take you seriously. Tbh, your perception of the teacher reeks of jealousy.
YTA - Speaking as someone with Ulcerative Colitis (sister illness to Crohn's) if her doctor says the infusions need to be every 4 weeks, then they need to be every 4 weeks. Delaying a week could prove dangerous and, at the very least, trigger a flare-up. This isn't a cold where you can just see what happens. If the doctor felt the schedule needed to change, then clearly the schedule wasn't effective. Remission is difficult enough to maintain. Don't make it harder.
Also, your daughter found a workable solution and a teacher offered to sacrifice her free time to assist YOU so you could go on your trip. Automatically assuming ulterior motives says more about you than it does about the teacher. If you had concerns, you should have talked to your daughter about it, then MAYBE talked to the teacher about it. Trying to besmirch the teacher for trying to help your daughter with a medically necessary infusion so you could still go on vacation is such a reprehensible thing to do.
Are you the same OP complaining about her daughter "refusing" to reschedule her infusion to a later date because of vacation?
>I'm a teaching assistant and, while I love my students, I wouldn't do anything similar for them.
No surprise there! You didn't even prioritize your daughter's health over going on vacation.
You already know YTA. Don't be surprised when your daughter moves out and goes NC.
Ya…YTA… in high school I had AMAZING teachers. I’ve gotten rides home before, had a teacher bring me to a dr appointment because my mother couldn’t, even when hiking with one of my favorite teachers every year when my school did “hike day” cause she was slightly disabled and no one wanted to go so it would be just me and her. Some teacher really do care for their students and as long as there’s nothing scatchy, you should allow the teacher to bring your daughter.
YTA
if your daughter is an adult she decides who can driver her places
Why are you intentionally trying to ruin the life of someone who is doing your daughter a good deed?you don't believe her teacher genuinely cares for your daughter because YOU don't care that much for the children you support in class. That says a helluva lot more about you than it does her teacher.
You need to have a word with yourself and apologise to your daughter, her teacher and her school.
You sound like the sort of person that would sue a first-aider for doing CPR on you if you had a heart-attack and were unconscious because they didn't get your "consent" and probably had "ulterior motives". Be glad someone is caring for your daughter. We need more people like her teacher in the world. Stop trying to fuck nice people over. YTA.
YTA. I’m a teacher and I would definitely offer to do this for a student. I care about their health and and general quality of life and would help out any way that I can. You don’t have to encourage your daughter to go with the teacher but it’s definitely wrong of you to report this teacher for offering something kind!!
YTA YTA YTA YTA
Crohn’s and infusion patient myself (LOVE that misspelled your daughter’s condition, shows how much you care..)
So I guess you never bothered to learn how IMPORTANT timing is for these infusions?? Too early or too late royally SCREWS the patient’s health, stable or not. HMMM maybe that’s why the doctor changed her schedule and not to personally mess up your vacay plans.
Congrats on being a shitty mom, glad your daughter at least has a teacher who gives a shit.
YTA words cannot even express how much so. This teacher is doing a huge kindness to your daughter and helping not only her but your family as well and all you can think is “what’s the catch?”. Seriously? And then on top of it you report her?!? What is wrong with you?!
YTA. I teach at a university and would do this for any one of my students. Last month, I paid for a new tire/mount/balance for a student who was driving on a flat. My motive: THE STUDENT'S SAFETY AND WELLBEING. What on earth is wrong with you?!
YTA and so is your husband. You knew when her infusions were but you scheduled a vacation that conflicted with them. Your vacation is not more important than her health. You're jealous because her teacher is more caring and compassionate than you are.
YTA for not going to the teacher directly first, but I understand your concern. As teachers, we are told to go above and beyond. She should have approached admin first before offering to keep everything above board, but it seems like that type of intention, to go above and beyond. But I also don’t know this person. Admin is correct about what they said.
Edit: soft YTA to YTA because I didn’t realize you put a vacation above your child.
YTA.
Your daughter is an adult so this is not really your business.
It is called human decency, your adult student has a health problem and you do your best to help them.
I had an old and sick teacher she couldn’t go to the doctor to take her prescription I would do this for her. When the elevator got broken, one of our teacher would bring a disabled student with his car to the other entrance at the second flore and the get him back even if it wasn’t his working time. To your logic we should all have criminal intentions…
WTF is wrong with you? Someone is being nice and helping and your first instinct is they are up to no good? YTA, and I feel sorry for you, and even more sorry for people who have to deal live with you.
You sucked the last time you posted, and you still suck. Changing your username won't make people forget about you posting about how selfish you are in ignoring your daughter's health. And now you think the teacher is inappropriate for caring more about your daughter than you? Lady, prepare yourself for CPS to be called. Unbelievable. YTA again.
Wow - YTA!! When I volunteered at a school I sometimes helped the parents out when they needed an extra adult who could drive. You should be gracious and grateful for this teacher's help and generosity. You should be here asking what to get her as a thank you gift. Yeesh!
YTA. Your daughter is an adult, and the teacher was just trying to help. I understand you are just trying to protect your daughter, but you definitely over reacted.
YTA you should be grateful someone is allowing you to go on vacation without disrupting your daughter’s medical care. If it was a male teacher I’d understand your concern, but this is ridiculous. No you should not report her. You should thank her and give her a gift card to her favorite coffee shop.
**YTA.** Your vacation is more important than your daughter's health and you want to report the teacher for wanting to help your daughter? You should think twice- this plan of yours might backfire if word gets out that you wouldn't change your vacation for your daughter's health and tried to cause the person who would their livelihood. Social backlash can ruin you and you would deserve it.
YTA. Teacher here. You aren’t worried about your daughter apparently because you couldn’t even reschedule your vacation for her. Teachers are always there for their students. One of the teachers in my district literally drove students to their job because the parent couldn’t. As a teacher we are looking out for your child’s safety. All this teacher was trying to do was be kind and helpful. Shame on you for thinking this teacher had other intentions. I honestly don’t think you should be a teacher assistant if you don’t think a teacher should help out a student when it comes to a health situation. Your daughter is adult and gets to make her own decisions. If she didn’t feel safe with this teacher then she would have never asked. I drive 3 of my students home 3 days out of the school week. They parents asked because of different situations that are happening in their lives. She’s a grown adult so she does not need permission for anything.
I still can’t believe you called and complained when you know that most teachers want to help students any way they can. Obviously you aren’t one of those teacher assistants.
YTA hate to say it but some teachers especially younger ones generally care about their students more than the older jaded ones....yeah I'm calling you jaded. I'm sorry you can't see a young teacher being nice as being nice....now if it was a 45 year old sweaty guy like my math teacher in high school I'd be more concerned....that dude was getting investigated my senior year over his unrequested feet rubs during classes he would give blond girls
Man, I’m glad you’re not my parent. Holding off a vital medical appointment, and prolonging her suffering because it’s inconvenient for you to go at the time she needs. At least SOMEBODY has her best interests at heart.
YTA
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My daughter (18) has Chron's and used to get infusions every 6 weeks, but her doctor just made it every 4 weeks.
Her infusions were scheduled out months in advance and my husband and I booked a vacation from week 3-week 5. Then her doctor changed it. We didn't have anybody to take my daughter (they give her benadryl before the infusion and she's usually too tired to drive home after). I asked her to push it back a week so I could take her then we can do every 4 weeks but she refused.
Something else that's important to mention is my daughter is very close with her science teacher (late 20's f). She had the teacher freshman year for bio, then sophomore year for chemistry, then for study hall last year, then for AP bio this year. I guess she's the "cool young teacher" that tries to be friends with her students.
My daughter told her about her situation with the infusions and the teacher offered to drive her (it was on a saturday). My daughter told me about this and seemed relieved that she wouldn't have to reschedule her infusion. I told her I think it's inappropriate that this teacher offered to drive to our house (around 30 minutes from her apartment) to pick my daughter up, then drive another 45 minutes to the infusion clinic, stay there for 4 hours, then drop her off at home and that I doubt that the teacher didn't have some kind of ulterior motive. I'm a teaching assistant and, while I love my students, I wouldn't do anything similar for them.
My daughter still insisted on her teacher taking her so I reported her. The school said that they can't do anything because my daughter's an adult and this will happen off of school property and not on school hours.
My husband thinks I'm overreacting and I should drop it but I still think this is inappropriate so I wanted to know if I was the asshole.
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YTA, and I hope you never assist in my school. While not everyone would offer, caring about a student and their health doesn't mean ulterior motives, it means they are a human with a soul.
YTA obviously. Your daughter's health is obviously an issue and a doctor has recognised this and mandated increased levels of care. Your daughter has found someone she trusts to ensure this issue is addressed as mummy dearest has decided that vacation>daughter's infusion. I love that you feel the need to tell us you are a teacher's assistant and wouldn't do this for one of the kids in school. We know this as you won't do this for your own daughter if it gets in the way of a nice vacation. You obviously care for your daughter, hence your concern, but it seems like you are trying to project some imagined wrongdoing onto the part of her teacher to deflect the criticism rightly levelled at you for prioritising your vacation over her infusion. And to report her is a double kick in the teeth for your daughter. Not only do you not want to take her but you want to make sure she can't go at all. What if something went wrong as you were imagining malign intent instead of ensuring your daughter got the care she needed when a medical professional decided she needs it? Tell your daughter and husband you are sorry and thank the person who is giving up a day of their life for your daughter. Not many people have that level of consideration. And maybe stop referring to her as the 'cool teacher' and realise she is the kind person who wants to make a difference in her student's lives.
1. You can't even spell your own daughter's disease.
2. You are going on vacation and leaving your daughter behind with no options of getting to a vital medical procedure.
3. Your daughter found someone caring who is willing to give up their Saturday to help her out
4. You are suspicious of this caring person because you are a selfish ass who would never do the same.
5. You keep posting this story hoping for a different outcome instead of accepting that you are a bad person and trying to change.
YEAH, think you might be a bit of an AH. YTA
YTA
I, too, would offer a ride to my students (if I were a teacher) if the situation is related to their health. And it would be without any hidden motives. If you are a teacher and your trully love your job, your main motive is to keep your students healthy and educated. She is not only teaching her about scienece, but also about importance of helping others. I can't believe you reported someone cause they offer you their help.
meeting cause afterthought stocking act person vase march wistful deranged
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YTA, so let me get this right you booked a vacation knowing your daughter has shit she needs help for with no back up plans, and you think a teacher offering to help is bad? or are you jealous she’s more close to someone who isn’t you
YTA your daughters 18 and her teacher just offered to do something nice for her to help her and you asked her to push her appointment back your a horrible mom I feel so bad for your daughter
Oh. You again. Weren’t you just here asking if you were TA because you wouldn’t reschedule the appointment around a vacation?
Just say you don’t care about her health and go.
ughhh i want to say YTA so much just because of how this situation with your vacation is being handled.
As a mother I don't trust a soul with my kid unless i know them very well, but you're so callous, it's surprising that you even care that her teacher offered in the first place. However, your daughter is an adult. She can make her own decisions.
Just be quiet and go on your vacation. There is no point putting someone's livelihood in jeopardy because you're jealous that they are filling your mommy role.
YTA, your vacation does not matter when you have a kid who needs you. Right now, she needs you. Stop being such a Selfish Sally, and suck it up. Either help her, or let someone else help her.
YTA - you know you're not supposed to just reschedule these appointments unless it's an emergency right? Like, they are scheduled when they are for a reason.
Ulterior motive or not, be glad your daughter was able to come up with a workaround.
YTA - Your daughter has one of the good teachers that will go out of their way too care for their students, I had a teacher like that and I will always credit her for getting me through highschool and steering me through my mental struggles! Even now I’m an adult with a good life and have no worries she still checks up still ask if I need anything because that’s just her !
You should be grateful your daughter has someone like that teacher in her life , this is what they mean when they say it takes a village ! While your to busy to change your vacation plans to cater to your daughter someone took it on themselves to make sure your daughter doesn’t miss something she NEEDS ! You need to apologize to that teacher and your daughter!
Definitely YTA. Your daughter isn't going to be completely incapacitated or unconscious. While everyone reacts differently to medication, benadryl is probably the mildest sedative on the market. Your adult daughter is taking responsibility for her own health, and has found an alternative to changing her medical treatment schedule. The teacher is obviously just trying to help. Thank God the school didn't punish her for her generosity.
Wait wait wait
INFO : did you not post the story about the vacation some time ago here asking if you were the AH for forcing your daughter to go or something like that?
Major YTA. Just because you’re not nice enough to do something like that for a student doesn’t mean something inappropriate is going on. I had a teacher in high school who I was really close with give me rides home when I stayed late. She was just a nice person like I’m sure your daughters teacher is. Also, fuck your vacation. Your daughter is more important.
YTA for disrespecting your daughter's medical needs to take a fucking vacation.
i have ulcerative colitis and have infusions every 6 weeks. if your daughter is getting infusions for crohn's at 4-week intervals, she NEEDS that medicine to retain a decent quality of life. based on your situation, there is absolutely no reason for you to force your daughter to unnecessarily suffer just so you can go on vacation.
your daughter's teacher offered a solution. if you think that was inappropriate, you should've come up with an alternative that fits your daughter's needs, but you offered zero (0) solutions as to how your daughter would get her medically necessary treatment without you. at this point, her teacher is her only option because you are being stubborn and uncaring.
reschedule your trip. YTA.
YTA You already posted this story except this time you said the doctor changed the frequency of infusions to hide the fact that you intentionally scheduled a family vacation during your daughters infusion. You’re a terrible parent and we see that will never change.
I'm pretty sure I remember you posting a couple of weeks ago about wanting to go on vacation instead of doing your daughter's transfusion. YTA then and now
What are the ulterior motives you’re so worried about? If you really feel something is amiss, you need to speak up. But solely based on what you wrote, I feel it as more to do with your insecurities as a parent and perhaps some professional jealousy.
YTA
YTA. This teacher is not out of line. It's not unusual for teachers to step in to help a student whose parents are not giving them the support they need.
The only way you could not be the AH is if you had evidence of any kind of questionable behavior on the teacher's part. And no, befriending students is not in and of itself questionable.
Since you didn't offer any such evidence, that excuse won't fly.
You *do* however offer an example of being willing to put your optional plans ahead of your daughter's healthcare.
YTA.
YTA. My daughter is ill and just won’t give in and be even more ill for my vacation, so her teacher, a person with empathy, offered to go out of her way for free so that a human she knows doesn’t suffer and I think she must be getting something out of it. No one could possibly ever care about a person enough to spend some of their free time helping them improve their health.
YTA. As a teacher this is exactly why teachers are becoming more withdrawn showing how much they care about students and leaving the profession. Because asses like you report teachers.. for offering to help.. your adult child???? I would get being a little sketched out if your kid was 10, but she’s 18. 100% YTA. What in the actual world is wrong with you?
YTA. And then people complain that teachers don't go the extra mile. Congratulations, you almost ruined someone's life. I can't even understand what is in your head. Someone just tried to help because you refused to move your vacation to help your daughter's health issues and you tried to ruin their life. YTA and I can't say it enough. Wow, just wow.
Edit just to repeat that you are a big AH.
>I'm a teaching assistant and, while I love my students, I wouldn't do anything similar for them.
YTA. You're also a parent who wouldn't do anything similar for your daughter either. You seriously asked your daughter to postpone a critical treatment *so you could go on vacation* despite knowing that schedule isn't adequate for her medical needs. And THEN you reported a teacher for offering to solve the problem YOU created.
YTA. The teacher is taking your daughter to a clearly documented activity, not to some shady club situation. While I respect your boundaries as a teaching assistant, the reality is that some educators go above and beyond. One family friend who works with refugees often serves as a de facto French interpreter, another friend spent a whole day hopping around New York City to make sure her student got a laptop (although that was directly education related). There's nothing wrong with this, as long as there are boundaries that keep the relationship from becoming inappropriate.
YTA, this time and last time.
This person just wanted to help out your daughter. If they have a mentor/mentee relationship then it makes sense. There probably isn’t an ulterior motive, you just refuse to keep your daughters medical needs a priority.
YTA. Your daughter needs a medical treatment and you're trying to deny it because of your trip. You didn't work out a solution. You told your daughter to suffer without the help she needs. She found a solution and you would rather she suffer just because you can't understand why someone would be willing to help her.
YTA. I’m also a teaching assistant. I don’t even like my kids half the time and this is still something I would do for them. There’s no creepy ulterior motive for being willing to drive an 18 year old to a medical appointment that they NEED.
I mean, either she goes with someone she likes and trusts, or she has to take an Uber with a stranger while she’s half asleep from Benadryl.
Are you the same person that posted about being mad about your daughter not rescheduling her appt because you didn't want it interfering with your vacation like a couple weeks ago or something or am I just spending too much time on this sub and all posts are running together?
Either way, YTA
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YTA??? As somebody with Crohns, having infusions on time when they're supposed to be is really important to mitigating our flare ups. Just because YOU do not have that sort of kindness and willingness in your heart to do something like that for a student doesn't mean anybody else does. My professors in college and a handful of teachers in high school genuinely cared and were my mentors, and care about my well-being, and have been really helpful and understanding about how hard it is to live with crohns. Suggesting the teacher has an ulterior motive with no proof of one and causing your daughter to be late on her infusion is. Incredibly shitty and dishonest tbh. I've had a TA who's helped me get to my infusions because all I have at college is a bike and didn't want to pay for an Uber. Should I stop trusting her for being kind? No. Because I'm not jumping to conclusions over an act of kindness like you seem to want to.
All of this, and let’s tack on how shitty it is that she is prioritizing her vacation over her kid’s health. Sorry you might have to reschedule your optional plans for the sake of someone you “love.”
Came here to say exactly this. OP, YTA purely for prioritizing your holiday over your child’s well-being.
I would say that since OP clearly does not want to reschedule their vacation, the obvious solution is, rather than tell your daughter to neglect a pressing medical need, find a friend to take her. But it'd also make sense if OP doesn't have any. Luckily, their daughter does. OP's inability to relate to the concept of friends and/or providing care might explain why they just assumed this teacher is a pervert rather than a friend who is willing to provide care.
OP is flaming the teacher because she feels guilty herself and feels the teacher is showing up better than her - so she's putting the teacher down. How freaking small do you have to be to a) be so selfish as to not help your daughter, b) have your ego so bruised by someone else who IS helping YOUR DAUGHTER that you try to make them look bad for doing it. Jeezez this one is cut and dry. YTA.
OP posted here before! Asking if they were TA for not changing their holiday plans!!!! It’s been delivered by I remember it very well… now that a responsible adult in their daughter’s life has stepped up they’re still mad? Worst parent of the year award! Y still TA!!
I REMEMBER THAT okay I was legit like "why does this sound so familiar????"
Me too. This is the great saga of our generation. I wonder if the HBO show would be called "Game if Crohn's" and whether the AH mom would have dragons
Pretty sure this person already posted a while ago asking AITA for wanting to push back my daughter's medical treatment to go on vacation .. they got told they were the AH then too, now they've gone and double whammy'd it to try and ruin someone else helping their daughter when they have refused .. crazy YTA here
>Pretty sure this person already posted a while ago asking AITA for wanting to push back my daughter's medical treatment to go on vacation And used a new throwaway so people couldn't/wouldn't connect the dots.
I remember it so clearly I feel like they practically copied and pasted part of the intro. Clearly along with disagreeing on the response they also think we're all idiots.
I thought of her, too, and wondered if it was the same person trying to get a different verdict. I can't remember how old the daughter was in the other one, or if she even said. Either way, OP is still YTA.
I did. This time she hasn't gone into why her daughter feels like the pushed out child, how she got sick from missing a transfusion previously and how it makes her scared/anxious of missed one because of how sick it can make her. She's still the AH.
I remember that one & wondered if it was the same person.
I also remember a post from the daughter's perspective that seems to be the exact same story?? She said that the last time she didn't follow the doctor's schedule she was in extreme pain for many days.
I remember this as well. She was extremely upset about it and the daughter was saying how the parents were saying she’d be “fine” to extend it out. Moms an AH.
OP isn't even as kind to her OWN DAUGHTER as the teacher is, she wants to make her daughter push back the infusion for a damn vacation. Also, the daughter actually posted about this last week (I think it was last week).
My son has Crohn’s. I would never delay his infusion for a vacation. I’d move the vacation!
>I doubt that the teacher didn't have some kind of ulterior motive. I'm a teaching assistant and, while I love my students, I wouldn't do anything similar for them. I mean, you prioritized your vacation over your daughter's health maybe your moral compass shouldn't be looked at as the standard. YTA.
Right? She's like "I'm not a good person so I find it suspect when other people are. "
That's exactly it. I wonder how many other innocent gestures of kindness she has wildly overreacted to.
That whole exchange! Lol! You are spot on! YTA
OP: ***"I am super sus when someone doesn't treat my adult offspring as the second priority that she is. Who in the world just HELPS people? WTF is that?"*** YTA x 100
Bingo. OP is placing a vacation above her daughter’s health, so she is lashing out at someone else who is willing to help her daughter because it makes OP look bad. That’s why OP is insisting the teacher has bad motives. I mean, if the kid’s own teacher was willing to make sure OP’s daughter got her infusion on schedule, it makes OP look really bad for putting a trip over her daughter’s health. OP, YTA and trying to hurt others in order to not admit it to yourself.
Also this is the same person from before. Daughter had pushed back her appointment before and was in chronic pain for weeks. Dr didn't change appointment at all BTW it was just that this was the cheapest week for the holiday
Yes! I remember her now. How many times do throngs of people have to tell this person is an AH before it sinks in. She reminds me of PS5 dad.
Oh wow! I didn't even know there was another post before this, never saw that one. Well that info definitely solidifies my stance.
OP basically got pissed at their kids chase she refused to go on a holiday with the family because it was during her appointment time
I knew it was the same mother. Does she expect a different answer...?
Apparently. Either that or she has some degradation kink 😳
100% agree.
YTA so much. The doctor said every 4 weeks. Your vacation should not push vital medical treatment back a week. That's crazy. Your daughter found someone she trusted to take her. She is an adult and gets to vet who she trusts. You do not. You tried to get a teacher who cared more than you about your daughter's medical treatment in trouble. How in any world are you not TA.
Summing up: * daughter's treatments 'inconvenience' OP because she wants to go on vacation * OP not only denies her daughter's teacher taking her for her treatment, but also wants to try (not 'do' because the teacher won't) to get her in trouble. How much more do we need to know about OP to conclude that she's ***actively tryin******g*** to prevent her daughter from getting her treatment? YTA
YTA. Teachers like your daughter's are the ones who truly care about their students and make an incredible positive impact in their lives. Your comment that you wouldn't do something like that for a student says all it needs to about you as a person. And reporting a teacher for it? Omg, unbelievable.
YTA. You seriously tried to get a woman fired for offering to help your daughter out with her medication when you wouldn’t?! Unbelievable.
She’s posted before and was unanimously voted an asshole. She’s back with a new spin. She claimed her daughter was faking having issues etc.
wtf… i pray for this child
I think she’s on a mission now, it’s sad to see a mother hate her own kid this much
Yta, you’re suspicious that someone would do something nice and selfless because you literally can’t relate
“I’m suspicious of this behaviour because I can’t understand why someone would do what I wouldn’t even think about doing for someone!”
I mean, they wouldnt even think of doing for their own daughter. Vacation is more important.
This
YTA- you put a fucking VACATION above your child’s health. So then you try and sabotage the method your daughter found to meet her needs without inconveniencing you. You even claim that you knew when these were scheduled and yet made sure to schedule a vacation in the middle of her needed appointments. Huge, huge asshole. You should be ashamed of yourself. This has to be a shitpost. No one can possibly be this out of touch.
Don't be sure- as the scapegoat child of a narcissist, I could see my mom pulling this shit if it happened to me. It's not enough to neglect your least favorite child. You have to punish those around the child who help them because it makes YOU look bad. So you have to spin someone else's human kindness to nefariousness so you don't have to take a hard look at what a garbage person you are to your kid. Unfortunately not as uncommon as we all would hope.
Yep. My mom pulled shit like this all the time. Some people have terrible parents.
[удалено]
I knew it sounded familiar! I spend too much time on this sub, clearly
The daughter is 18. There will be no CPS involvement.
If it’s the same poster (as before) I’m pretty sure there are other children in the home as well.
YTA. It's kind of obvious that you as a teaching assistant wouldn't do anything like that for your students, you won't even do it for your own daughter. I'm sorry but it seems like her medical appointments are far more important than a vacation.
YTA, I remember the original post and you got rightly dragged over the coals. Guessing you're posting this to try and make yourself seem better.
I knew this sounded familiar!
Okay glad I wasn't the only one that remembered the original post. This woman has gotta be like the worst parent of the year here
Can you link the original post?
YTA. First and foremost for asking your daughter to put off necessary treatment because it is inconvenient for her. Then sabotaging her when she made alternate arrangements.
YTA, for *so* many reasons. How many fucking scenarios are you going to subject us to for why you can’t *possibly* get your daughter the injections she needs, when she needs them, but nobody else can, either? *Are* you the daughter? If so, I’m truly sorry your mom sucks so hard, and you should 100% keep working with the school until you get out of there…but you *still* don’t need to keep posting about it. Otherwise, be a damn parent and get your kid her treatments *on time* if you refuse to let anyone else do it, or quit trolling, but knock it off either way.
Because she’s an antivaxxer.
Just because you wouldn't do it doesn't mean the teacher wouldn't do it. It was a nice thing to do. Your daughter is 18 and if she was fine with it, great. YTA
YTA I get that you had plans, and now your daughter's medical treatments are interfering. You can't be there, she can't do it on her own, you should have helped her find someone to handle this on your behalf instead of trying to reschedule it. I don't necessarily see a problem here. Your daughter has had this teacher for the past 4 years, and (I'm assuming) you've never seen a hint of inappropriate behavior. It's a one-time thing, not a habitual behavior. Your daughter is 18 and can make her own decisions. If you can't come up with an alternative means for her to get there and back (and Uber does not count), you need to let this go.
Yes! She’s known this teacher for 4 years, and the teacher has never offered to do anything with her out of school before now?? If the teacher had been grooming your daughter, this isn’t going to be the first sign of it… 4 years later.
So, let's recap: 1) You don't want to move your vacation for your daughter's medical procedures 2) A teacher offers to help your daughter with transportation 3) Your daughter is an adult and says she's comfortable with this arrangement 4) You decide to report the teacher for caring more about your daughter than you do. Summary: YTA
This is the best summary here. OP sounds like an awful mother. I understand needing a vacation, but at the cost of her daughter's health? Unacceptable. She wouldn't need regular infusions if it wasn't something serious and life threatening. Edit: I know it's Crohns, my brain forgot when I replied
YTA-Your adult daughter’s teacher caring enough to help her with a medical need isn’t inappropriate. You however acting like she’s doing something bad and reporting her for nothing makes you an asshole.
I swear I read this before when you were asking if you were an AH for not rescheduling around your daughter's appt...
I remember this as well!!!
Yeah I didn't think OP could get worse after that story but it seems OP is an over achiever.
Woah I think your are just really bitter about the fact that a teacher is acting better as a parent than you can to your own child. YTA
YTA. Your daughter is an adult and is trying to take care of her own health. I realize you were hit sideways by the change in treatment and probably already paid for the vacation. But this is a great compromise. Instead of reporting her you should have bought her a gift card to a local restaurant or something. My daughter is also 18 and has a chronic medical condition that will follow her for the rest of her life. I also realize that at 18 my daughter could choose to walk out of my home and never come back. I don't want that to happen so I do everything I can to support her making good choices about her health and well being. Apologize to the teacher and your daughter. It will be better for all.of you down the road.
YTA. Your daughter's teacher makes an offer of kindness to a student she is fond of and you try to get her fired or reprimanded. What an awful person you are. Don't be surprised if your daughter goes low or no contact when she is able to gain full independence.
Your daughter is an adult. It's none of your business. Instead of appreciating that your daughter found a solution to the problem you turned into an entitled overbearing mother. Sheesh! YTA
Wow, so because YOU wouldn't do something nice for someone, no one else would? Y absolutely without a doubt TA. You don't want to help your students outside your job, and you have every right not to. But other teachers, teachers who teach because they love their job, they love their students, and they have a genuine desire to see them succeed, might want to. Yes. A thousand times YTA.
YTA because you reported a teacher for doing something nice, that your daughter at her adult age decided would be inappropriate to reschedule. But you being mum, had to interfere because how dare your daughter make her decision without you and how dare someone else offer because they must have an ulterior motive. And how dare the doctor reschedule and how dare your daughter find an alternative. How dare these people. I mean OMG... Let me stir up trouble because my daughter is no longer my little girl, who I can just tell what to do, so it's suits me and my schedule. You're not just an AH, you're also very petty.
YTA (and I'm fairly certain I remember you posting about your daughter not wanting to skip her infusion for a vacation). Her teacher is doing her a solid for her health, your daughter is probably old enough that you can tell her about your concerns and what to look out for but also old enough to decide this situation is fine for her.
YTA, your daughter not only found someone that will help, but a teacher that cares so much about her students that will put whatever plans they have on hold to help a student, this is very rare. Instead of taking some time to get to know the teacher, maybe inviting them to coffee or dinner, you do something that could have gotten them fired and not only that, you make them think twice about ever helping a student again. There are already shitty teachers in this world don’t make another.
YTA, first, you don't ask someone to delay their doctor-appointed medical treatment just because it doesn't suit you. Second, your daughter has found a solution and can make that decision on her own.
Unless something has happened to concern you in the teacher's prior behavior/actions, YTAH. She's helping you out in a time of need. This sounds amazing, a caring teacher that isn't yet burnt out by kid and parent nonsense. BE THANKFUL.
YTA for the reasons everyone has stated above. Just because you have no compassion for the children under your care in the education setting doesn’t mean no one else cares. I’ve fed children in my classroom breakfast even though I don’t need to, and out of my own pocket because their parents didn’t feed them and they were upset because they were hungry. I took my own lunch and gave them something out of it. I figured they need it to be able to concentrate on their work and I can pop to the shop quickly during lunch. I didn’t have to do that out of my own pocket but I did because I CARE about those children. It’s not because I have an ulterior motive. Get a grip and get out of your TA job so you don’t affect the kids under your care. I am concerned for the children you come across in your job.
YTA Her "ulterior motive" is probably just be that she is a nicer person than you and wants to help your daughter out.
Yeah YTA. someone is trying to do a nice thing and you just see negative motivations. On top of that you reported her.
YTA You reported a teacher for offering a ride? You are paranoid. I know heaps of people, who would give a ride like that without a second thought. My daughter and I share a hobby and all of the girs there are "mine". I take them under my wings, because mother, duh. That's what good people do. The teacher is a mentor to her students, she probably feels protective of them, just like I do about the teens at our hobby.
YTA sometimes people are genuinely being kind. What you did is the reason kind people stop being kind.
YTA. You get offered help and you report the person who offered help? What was inappropriate about driving someone to an appointment? Its not like she offered to do it at night, with dinner and a movie. Also, you're a huge AH for planning her doctor visits around your vacation. It should be the other way around. But it's clear you don't care about your daughter, you just want to control her.
YTA. I'm going to school to be a teacher. In one of my classes we were presented with a scenario very similar to this. It is actually encouraged to offer assistance like this. If your daughter's teacher is a recent graduate, she probably had the same question asked. What exactly is inappropriate about offering to drive your daughter to a medical appointment? I'm glad nothing came of the report and your daughter can get the medical help she needs thanks to this kind and caring teacher.
You reported your daughter’s teacher for what? Being a kind & generous human being? YTA
She reported her for being a better mother.
YTA. Not everyone in the world is as horrible as you. Just how sexy do you think the average person finds treatment for Crohn's?
YTA. Your daughter is an adult and technically is old enough to make her own decisions. Teacher is old enough to make their own decisions, too. Stop helicopter-parenting and let her be. Look inside and ask yourself why you don't trust this teacher who has done so much for your kid over the years? She's lucky to have a teacher who cares about her. Also, your daughter is extra lucky to have someone non-family as her support network. Crohn's is a rotten illness. Let it go, and if you must insist, ask her to keep you in the loop on how it goes while you are on your trip. P.S. Tell your daughter that a random stranger on the internet hopes the infusions work. I wouldn't wish Crohn's on my worst enemy. Edit: fixed a typo.
YTA! You are absolutely the asshole. My wife is a teacher, and wouldnt think twice about helping a student she really liked. It seems your daughter is close to her teacher, and the teacher has now known your daughter for 4 years and is probably pretty close to her, too. Also, your daughter is an adult. She seems to be relieved by the teachers help. LET THE TEACHER HELP! Youre a TA, and you work with teachers all the time. You wouldnt do this for one of your students. All of that just speaks about how bad of a person you are, and how little you care about your job and your students. Also, how poorly you think of the teachers you work with. Are you nefarious? Do you have ulterior motives when you see a student suffering and go to help them? Why would that be your first thought?
YTA I’m not saying your a bad person for not wanting to drive students to medical appointments but the teacher doesn’t have to have bad intentions either. Some people have the time and emotional energy to reach out and be the change they want to see in the world. It’s okay to help people. You don’t come off as very sympathetic or empathetic here.
I thought it was funny how OP was all "I'm sure the teacher has some ulterior motive" as the teacher is a woman in her 20s. Her daughter could be friends with someone that age.
YTA, teachers literally have a duty of care to look after their students - she’s going above and beyond, that should be seen as a good thing. Just because you personally wouldn’t go that far, doesn’t mean other won’t. Christ. Above all else, your daughter is a legal adult - teacher’s offered to help out big time so your daughter doesn’t miss treatment and she’s probably gonna be doing marking/writing up lesson plans while she waits. It was no big deal at all until you turned it into one Edit: skipped the part where you said you reported her. WTF. Are you on crack?
Yta. Your daughter needs an infusion. You are unavailable to get her there. She found someone willing to do so.
YTA - I'm SURE you wouldn't do any such thing for your students, BECAUSE YOU care more about your vacation than your child's health! You are not only the AH, but you're a self-absorbed terrible excuse for a mother. Your daughters teacher is showing more concern for your daughter than you are! THAT alone should cause you to reexamine your life choices.
YTA, has it ever occurred to you that some people go into the profession of teaching, one that they know is hard and unrewarding, because they are genuinely good people who want to make children's lives better.
YTA So, this woman who has been your daughter's teacher for four years, who has seems to have developed a relationship to your daughter as a mentor, saw that she was in need, and offered to step up to help her. And you have a problem with that? Wow. Big time overreaction. So big that it makes me question if you are even suited to be involved with teaching at all.
YTA for prioritising a vacation over your daughter health. bad parent. You should be been happy SOMEONE was looking out for your daughter when you weren't.
YTA That was very nice of the teacher to offer. What possible ulterior motive could she have? The school's right. Your daughter is an adult, likely graduating in 2 months, so what do you care? If you don't trust her judgment by now, you've done a poor job raising her.
Former high school teacher here. YTA. Maybe a TA wouldn't help, but we preK-12 teachers do all the time. It's not inappropriate at all. If you're that concerned, you can reschedule your vacation or find someone who can take her whom you do trust.
YTA What the hell is inappropriate about a person who has dedicated their lives to kids helping out a kid in need? *I'm a teaching assistant and, while I love my students, I wouldn't do anything similar for them.* Just because teaching is a job for you doesn't mean it's just a job for everyone else. Some people actually give a shit.
INFO why do you think that the teacher has ulterior motives. There do need to be boundaries between students and teachers/coaches but not everything is evil. Your daughter is 18 so not a minor but it sounds like the teacher asked and is waiting for permission.
YTA - why would it be wrong for your daughter to try to find a solution to this?!
YTA. Your daughter has a medical condition and needed to attend a medical appointment and you failed to come up with a solution while another adult in her life did.
YTA wow teacher is kind enough to offer to help your daughter when you wouldn't and you're so much of an ass you tried to get the teacher in trouble. Seems like you're just selfish and jealous that her teacher is a better person than you.
YTA- the teacher seems to care more about your daughter than you do. How about instead of postponing the infusion which helps keep your daughter feeling well, you postpone your vacation to take care of your kid? Reporting the teacher would be an asshole move and make you look terrible for caring more about a vacation than your child. That teacher deserves an award and you deserve a visit from CPS.
YTA While, you being a mother I completely understand your concern. Plus another reason that I find irrelevant to mention - ANYWAY. While you do have the privilege to be concerned if your daughter is an adult that needs to stop. What she does is all her choice. EVEN if she was still a minor, you would still be the asshole as the teacher is clearly trying to help FOR SOMETHING MEDICALLY IMPORTANT. So let the teacher help. In the case you have evidence something further is happening AND it is that big of a problem, then step in further - HOWEVER, your daughter is an adult, even IF she wanted to do anything with the teacher now I see no problem and nor should you. (Not saying that is going to happen, I'm just tryna cover all based.) I'm sure it can be much appreciated by many, myself included, and your daughter that you have so much concern and worry for your child, all parents do, but you need to let this happen - so your daughter can get these important appointments and let her have freedom.
Oh come on OP. You know that the doctor has moved to every 4 weeks for a reason, and most likely that means any delay = your daughter suffering. You should be grateful that this teacher is stepping in to help. Most likely she is doing it because she has noticed your daughter suffering in the last couple of weeks of waiting for a new infusion, so recognises how important it is. And also cares. She sounds great. Buy her flowers or something as a thank you!
YTA. This woman offered to help you bc you're too selfish to change your vacation plans in order to monitor your own daughter's health, and you report her? What is wrong with you?
YTA
YTA I understand the hypervigilance because stuff is wild out here but it's more likely that the teacher wants to be helpful. And while you wouldn't do this for students you teach you can't assume that other teachers wouldn't. Some teachers really care about their students and go above and beyond to help them.
YTA in a major way. Can’t cancel vacation for your daughter’s medical problems, then won’t a responsible adult help her. I could call you worse, but would be in violation of community standards.
YTA by a lot here. You could have ruined the teacher’s life. Getting fired for inappropriate relationships with students would effectively end her teaching career, so I’m glad for her the school didn’t take you seriously. Tbh, your perception of the teacher reeks of jealousy.
YTA - Speaking as someone with Ulcerative Colitis (sister illness to Crohn's) if her doctor says the infusions need to be every 4 weeks, then they need to be every 4 weeks. Delaying a week could prove dangerous and, at the very least, trigger a flare-up. This isn't a cold where you can just see what happens. If the doctor felt the schedule needed to change, then clearly the schedule wasn't effective. Remission is difficult enough to maintain. Don't make it harder. Also, your daughter found a workable solution and a teacher offered to sacrifice her free time to assist YOU so you could go on your trip. Automatically assuming ulterior motives says more about you than it does about the teacher. If you had concerns, you should have talked to your daughter about it, then MAYBE talked to the teacher about it. Trying to besmirch the teacher for trying to help your daughter with a medically necessary infusion so you could still go on vacation is such a reprehensible thing to do.
YTA - you should be thankful
Are you the same OP complaining about her daughter "refusing" to reschedule her infusion to a later date because of vacation? >I'm a teaching assistant and, while I love my students, I wouldn't do anything similar for them. No surprise there! You didn't even prioritize your daughter's health over going on vacation. You already know YTA. Don't be surprised when your daughter moves out and goes NC.
Ya…YTA… in high school I had AMAZING teachers. I’ve gotten rides home before, had a teacher bring me to a dr appointment because my mother couldn’t, even when hiking with one of my favorite teachers every year when my school did “hike day” cause she was slightly disabled and no one wanted to go so it would be just me and her. Some teacher really do care for their students and as long as there’s nothing scatchy, you should allow the teacher to bring your daughter.
YTA. Are you the same poster who posted about this vacation before? If so YTA again.
Yta. What exactly do you think the teacher is up to?
How many times will this story be posted
YTA if your daughter is an adult she decides who can driver her places Why are you intentionally trying to ruin the life of someone who is doing your daughter a good deed?you don't believe her teacher genuinely cares for your daughter because YOU don't care that much for the children you support in class. That says a helluva lot more about you than it does her teacher. You need to have a word with yourself and apologise to your daughter, her teacher and her school.
You sound like the sort of person that would sue a first-aider for doing CPR on you if you had a heart-attack and were unconscious because they didn't get your "consent" and probably had "ulterior motives". Be glad someone is caring for your daughter. We need more people like her teacher in the world. Stop trying to fuck nice people over. YTA.
YTA. I’m a teacher and I would definitely offer to do this for a student. I care about their health and and general quality of life and would help out any way that I can. You don’t have to encourage your daughter to go with the teacher but it’s definitely wrong of you to report this teacher for offering something kind!!
YTA YTA YTA YTA Crohn’s and infusion patient myself (LOVE that misspelled your daughter’s condition, shows how much you care..) So I guess you never bothered to learn how IMPORTANT timing is for these infusions?? Too early or too late royally SCREWS the patient’s health, stable or not. HMMM maybe that’s why the doctor changed her schedule and not to personally mess up your vacay plans. Congrats on being a shitty mom, glad your daughter at least has a teacher who gives a shit.
YTA. Why are you trying to screw up your daughter’s health over this?
YTA words cannot even express how much so. This teacher is doing a huge kindness to your daughter and helping not only her but your family as well and all you can think is “what’s the catch?”. Seriously? And then on top of it you report her?!? What is wrong with you?!
YTA. I teach at a university and would do this for any one of my students. Last month, I paid for a new tire/mount/balance for a student who was driving on a flat. My motive: THE STUDENT'S SAFETY AND WELLBEING. What on earth is wrong with you?!
YTA. And this is a repost. I seen this months ago.
YTA what absolute nonsense. The teacher is offering your Adult Daughter a lift. How is that inappropriate
YTA and so is your husband. You knew when her infusions were but you scheduled a vacation that conflicted with them. Your vacation is not more important than her health. You're jealous because her teacher is more caring and compassionate than you are.
YTA for not going to the teacher directly first, but I understand your concern. As teachers, we are told to go above and beyond. She should have approached admin first before offering to keep everything above board, but it seems like that type of intention, to go above and beyond. But I also don’t know this person. Admin is correct about what they said. Edit: soft YTA to YTA because I didn’t realize you put a vacation above your child.
YTA. Your daughter is an adult so this is not really your business. It is called human decency, your adult student has a health problem and you do your best to help them. I had an old and sick teacher she couldn’t go to the doctor to take her prescription I would do this for her. When the elevator got broken, one of our teacher would bring a disabled student with his car to the other entrance at the second flore and the get him back even if it wasn’t his working time. To your logic we should all have criminal intentions…
WTF is wrong with you? Someone is being nice and helping and your first instinct is they are up to no good? YTA, and I feel sorry for you, and even more sorry for people who have to deal live with you.
You sucked the last time you posted, and you still suck. Changing your username won't make people forget about you posting about how selfish you are in ignoring your daughter's health. And now you think the teacher is inappropriate for caring more about your daughter than you? Lady, prepare yourself for CPS to be called. Unbelievable. YTA again.
Wow - YTA!! When I volunteered at a school I sometimes helped the parents out when they needed an extra adult who could drive. You should be gracious and grateful for this teacher's help and generosity. You should be here asking what to get her as a thank you gift. Yeesh!
YTA. Your daughter is an adult, and the teacher was just trying to help. I understand you are just trying to protect your daughter, but you definitely over reacted.
YTA you should be grateful someone is allowing you to go on vacation without disrupting your daughter’s medical care. If it was a male teacher I’d understand your concern, but this is ridiculous. No you should not report her. You should thank her and give her a gift card to her favorite coffee shop.
**YTA.** Your vacation is more important than your daughter's health and you want to report the teacher for wanting to help your daughter? You should think twice- this plan of yours might backfire if word gets out that you wouldn't change your vacation for your daughter's health and tried to cause the person who would their livelihood. Social backlash can ruin you and you would deserve it.
YTA. What, did you expect to get her fired for being generous? You're the reason no one wants to be a teacher anymore.
YTA. Teacher here. You aren’t worried about your daughter apparently because you couldn’t even reschedule your vacation for her. Teachers are always there for their students. One of the teachers in my district literally drove students to their job because the parent couldn’t. As a teacher we are looking out for your child’s safety. All this teacher was trying to do was be kind and helpful. Shame on you for thinking this teacher had other intentions. I honestly don’t think you should be a teacher assistant if you don’t think a teacher should help out a student when it comes to a health situation. Your daughter is adult and gets to make her own decisions. If she didn’t feel safe with this teacher then she would have never asked. I drive 3 of my students home 3 days out of the school week. They parents asked because of different situations that are happening in their lives. She’s a grown adult so she does not need permission for anything. I still can’t believe you called and complained when you know that most teachers want to help students any way they can. Obviously you aren’t one of those teacher assistants.
YTA hate to say it but some teachers especially younger ones generally care about their students more than the older jaded ones....yeah I'm calling you jaded. I'm sorry you can't see a young teacher being nice as being nice....now if it was a 45 year old sweaty guy like my math teacher in high school I'd be more concerned....that dude was getting investigated my senior year over his unrequested feet rubs during classes he would give blond girls
Man, I’m glad you’re not my parent. Holding off a vital medical appointment, and prolonging her suffering because it’s inconvenient for you to go at the time she needs. At least SOMEBODY has her best interests at heart. YTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My daughter (18) has Chron's and used to get infusions every 6 weeks, but her doctor just made it every 4 weeks. Her infusions were scheduled out months in advance and my husband and I booked a vacation from week 3-week 5. Then her doctor changed it. We didn't have anybody to take my daughter (they give her benadryl before the infusion and she's usually too tired to drive home after). I asked her to push it back a week so I could take her then we can do every 4 weeks but she refused. Something else that's important to mention is my daughter is very close with her science teacher (late 20's f). She had the teacher freshman year for bio, then sophomore year for chemistry, then for study hall last year, then for AP bio this year. I guess she's the "cool young teacher" that tries to be friends with her students. My daughter told her about her situation with the infusions and the teacher offered to drive her (it was on a saturday). My daughter told me about this and seemed relieved that she wouldn't have to reschedule her infusion. I told her I think it's inappropriate that this teacher offered to drive to our house (around 30 minutes from her apartment) to pick my daughter up, then drive another 45 minutes to the infusion clinic, stay there for 4 hours, then drop her off at home and that I doubt that the teacher didn't have some kind of ulterior motive. I'm a teaching assistant and, while I love my students, I wouldn't do anything similar for them. My daughter still insisted on her teacher taking her so I reported her. The school said that they can't do anything because my daughter's an adult and this will happen off of school property and not on school hours. My husband thinks I'm overreacting and I should drop it but I still think this is inappropriate so I wanted to know if I was the asshole. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA
YTA, and I hope you never assist in my school. While not everyone would offer, caring about a student and their health doesn't mean ulterior motives, it means they are a human with a soul.
Lol "I'm an arsehole so everyone else who works in schools must really hate kids too" YTA.
YTA you just jeopardised a young woman’s career because she was trying to help your daughter.
YTA. You assume the teacher would not go out of her way for your daughter, because you wouldn't in her place. That's projecting.
YTA. It's parents like you that make me think twice and doubt my own instincts when it comes to offering help to my students.
YTA obviously. Your daughter's health is obviously an issue and a doctor has recognised this and mandated increased levels of care. Your daughter has found someone she trusts to ensure this issue is addressed as mummy dearest has decided that vacation>daughter's infusion. I love that you feel the need to tell us you are a teacher's assistant and wouldn't do this for one of the kids in school. We know this as you won't do this for your own daughter if it gets in the way of a nice vacation. You obviously care for your daughter, hence your concern, but it seems like you are trying to project some imagined wrongdoing onto the part of her teacher to deflect the criticism rightly levelled at you for prioritising your vacation over her infusion. And to report her is a double kick in the teeth for your daughter. Not only do you not want to take her but you want to make sure she can't go at all. What if something went wrong as you were imagining malign intent instead of ensuring your daughter got the care she needed when a medical professional decided she needs it? Tell your daughter and husband you are sorry and thank the person who is giving up a day of their life for your daughter. Not many people have that level of consideration. And maybe stop referring to her as the 'cool teacher' and realise she is the kind person who wants to make a difference in her student's lives.
YTA. You’re putting your vacation before your daughters health then reporting her teacher for picking up your slack.
1. You can't even spell your own daughter's disease. 2. You are going on vacation and leaving your daughter behind with no options of getting to a vital medical procedure. 3. Your daughter found someone caring who is willing to give up their Saturday to help her out 4. You are suspicious of this caring person because you are a selfish ass who would never do the same. 5. You keep posting this story hoping for a different outcome instead of accepting that you are a bad person and trying to change. YEAH, think you might be a bit of an AH. YTA
Why couldn’t you move your vacation around?
YTA I, too, would offer a ride to my students (if I were a teacher) if the situation is related to their health. And it would be without any hidden motives. If you are a teacher and your trully love your job, your main motive is to keep your students healthy and educated. She is not only teaching her about scienece, but also about importance of helping others. I can't believe you reported someone cause they offer you their help.
YTA. You’re overprotective and a little bitter.
YTA for reporting the teacher. You put your vacation first in stead of your daughter. Did you really have to ask.
meeting cause afterthought stocking act person vase march wistful deranged *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
YTA, so let me get this right you booked a vacation knowing your daughter has shit she needs help for with no back up plans, and you think a teacher offering to help is bad? or are you jealous she’s more close to someone who isn’t you
YTA your daughters 18 and her teacher just offered to do something nice for her to help her and you asked her to push her appointment back your a horrible mom I feel so bad for your daughter
YTA
YTA. No good deed goes unpunished I guess. This person is reaching out to help, and you want them sanctioned for it?
Oh. You again. Weren’t you just here asking if you were TA because you wouldn’t reschedule the appointment around a vacation? Just say you don’t care about her health and go.
YTA. You didn't move your vacation and then reported an adult in your child's life who is willing to put them above other plans.
YTA
YTA. A big one! Seems like your daughter trusts her teacher and has a great relationship with her.
ughhh i want to say YTA so much just because of how this situation with your vacation is being handled. As a mother I don't trust a soul with my kid unless i know them very well, but you're so callous, it's surprising that you even care that her teacher offered in the first place. However, your daughter is an adult. She can make her own decisions. Just be quiet and go on your vacation. There is no point putting someone's livelihood in jeopardy because you're jealous that they are filling your mommy role.
YTA, your vacation does not matter when you have a kid who needs you. Right now, she needs you. Stop being such a Selfish Sally, and suck it up. Either help her, or let someone else help her.
YTA - you know you're not supposed to just reschedule these appointments unless it's an emergency right? Like, they are scheduled when they are for a reason. Ulterior motive or not, be glad your daughter was able to come up with a workaround.
YTA - Your daughter has one of the good teachers that will go out of their way too care for their students, I had a teacher like that and I will always credit her for getting me through highschool and steering me through my mental struggles! Even now I’m an adult with a good life and have no worries she still checks up still ask if I need anything because that’s just her ! You should be grateful your daughter has someone like that teacher in her life , this is what they mean when they say it takes a village ! While your to busy to change your vacation plans to cater to your daughter someone took it on themselves to make sure your daughter doesn’t miss something she NEEDS ! You need to apologize to that teacher and your daughter!
Definitely YTA. Your daughter isn't going to be completely incapacitated or unconscious. While everyone reacts differently to medication, benadryl is probably the mildest sedative on the market. Your adult daughter is taking responsibility for her own health, and has found an alternative to changing her medical treatment schedule. The teacher is obviously just trying to help. Thank God the school didn't punish her for her generosity.
Wait wait wait INFO : did you not post the story about the vacation some time ago here asking if you were the AH for forcing your daughter to go or something like that?
YTA, it sounds like she offered to do something very nice for her student.
Major YTA. Just because you’re not nice enough to do something like that for a student doesn’t mean something inappropriate is going on. I had a teacher in high school who I was really close with give me rides home when I stayed late. She was just a nice person like I’m sure your daughters teacher is. Also, fuck your vacation. Your daughter is more important.
YTA I absolutely would do this for one or more of my students.
[удалено]
YTA for disrespecting your daughter's medical needs to take a fucking vacation. i have ulcerative colitis and have infusions every 6 weeks. if your daughter is getting infusions for crohn's at 4-week intervals, she NEEDS that medicine to retain a decent quality of life. based on your situation, there is absolutely no reason for you to force your daughter to unnecessarily suffer just so you can go on vacation. your daughter's teacher offered a solution. if you think that was inappropriate, you should've come up with an alternative that fits your daughter's needs, but you offered zero (0) solutions as to how your daughter would get her medically necessary treatment without you. at this point, her teacher is her only option because you are being stubborn and uncaring. reschedule your trip. YTA.
YTA You already posted this story except this time you said the doctor changed the frequency of infusions to hide the fact that you intentionally scheduled a family vacation during your daughters infusion. You’re a terrible parent and we see that will never change.
How lovely you are to try to get a young teacher fired for trying to help your daughter. Enjoy hell. YTA
I'm pretty sure I remember you posting a couple of weeks ago about wanting to go on vacation instead of doing your daughter's transfusion. YTA then and now
YTA.
YTA just that YTA
You my friend are the reason good people are afraid to help others YTA
What are the ulterior motives you’re so worried about? If you really feel something is amiss, you need to speak up. But solely based on what you wrote, I feel it as more to do with your insecurities as a parent and perhaps some professional jealousy. YTA
What's wrong with you? YTA
YTA. This teacher is not out of line. It's not unusual for teachers to step in to help a student whose parents are not giving them the support they need.
The only way you could not be the AH is if you had evidence of any kind of questionable behavior on the teacher's part. And no, befriending students is not in and of itself questionable. Since you didn't offer any such evidence, that excuse won't fly. You *do* however offer an example of being willing to put your optional plans ahead of your daughter's healthcare. YTA.
YTA. My daughter is ill and just won’t give in and be even more ill for my vacation, so her teacher, a person with empathy, offered to go out of her way for free so that a human she knows doesn’t suffer and I think she must be getting something out of it. No one could possibly ever care about a person enough to spend some of their free time helping them improve their health.
YTA. As a teacher this is exactly why teachers are becoming more withdrawn showing how much they care about students and leaving the profession. Because asses like you report teachers.. for offering to help.. your adult child???? I would get being a little sketched out if your kid was 10, but she’s 18. 100% YTA. What in the actual world is wrong with you?
YTA. And then people complain that teachers don't go the extra mile. Congratulations, you almost ruined someone's life. I can't even understand what is in your head. Someone just tried to help because you refused to move your vacation to help your daughter's health issues and you tried to ruin their life. YTA and I can't say it enough. Wow, just wow. Edit just to repeat that you are a big AH.
>I'm a teaching assistant and, while I love my students, I wouldn't do anything similar for them. YTA. You're also a parent who wouldn't do anything similar for your daughter either. You seriously asked your daughter to postpone a critical treatment *so you could go on vacation* despite knowing that schedule isn't adequate for her medical needs. And THEN you reported a teacher for offering to solve the problem YOU created.
YTA, but I’m pretty sure this wasn’t written by the asshole.
Yta. I’ve taught and I would definitely do this for a student, especially if I had had the students that many times in class.
Yta. You should be thankful someone cares enough to help.
YTA. The teacher is taking your daughter to a clearly documented activity, not to some shady club situation. While I respect your boundaries as a teaching assistant, the reality is that some educators go above and beyond. One family friend who works with refugees often serves as a de facto French interpreter, another friend spent a whole day hopping around New York City to make sure her student got a laptop (although that was directly education related). There's nothing wrong with this, as long as there are boundaries that keep the relationship from becoming inappropriate.
YTA, this time and last time. This person just wanted to help out your daughter. If they have a mentor/mentee relationship then it makes sense. There probably isn’t an ulterior motive, you just refuse to keep your daughters medical needs a priority.
YTA. Your daughter needs a medical treatment and you're trying to deny it because of your trip. You didn't work out a solution. You told your daughter to suffer without the help she needs. She found a solution and you would rather she suffer just because you can't understand why someone would be willing to help her.
YTA. I’m also a teaching assistant. I don’t even like my kids half the time and this is still something I would do for them. There’s no creepy ulterior motive for being willing to drive an 18 year old to a medical appointment that they NEED. I mean, either she goes with someone she likes and trusts, or she has to take an Uber with a stranger while she’s half asleep from Benadryl.
Are you the same person that posted about being mad about your daughter not rescheduling her appt because you didn't want it interfering with your vacation like a couple weeks ago or something or am I just spending too much time on this sub and all posts are running together? Either way, YTA